#c: npc!bex

[muertarte]

Metzli: Hello. My computer has the flu. Bex: I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. could you tell me what it is that your computer is doing?

Metzli: There are popups and women want to meet me but I don’t want to meet them. Someone said maybe the computer has flu.

Bex: Oh, it sounds like you may have a virus. I see what you mean now. Can I send you to a website that will allow me to take control of the device?

Metzli: Will you tell them I don’t want to meet?

Bex: …yeah, sure

Metzli: Are you the computer’s new master now?

Bex: Only for a minute.

Metzli: I will count.

[legendaryandroid]

Lions & Robots

Voltron and Dungeons and Dragons have been mixing in my mind so now I’m just picturing Voltron as if it was a tabletop RPG. 

DM: So right now both Shiro and Keith have crash landed on a strange planet, both their Lions are non-functioning. Keith is headed towards Shiro who has been pulled out of his cave and is facing 3 hungry monsters.

Steven: How's Shiro looking Josh?

Josh: "I am bloodied, very much bloodied"

DM: The monsters roll to attack and... they hit for 18 damage.

Josh: And now Shiro is almost dead, please hurry Steven.

DM: Alright Steven. Keith can now see Shiro, he's being chased by three giant purple dog things with Black dead behind you, what do you do?

Steven: Keith rushes towards the Black Lion and tries to get in.

Josh: WHAT

DM: aaaahh, okay. How does he do that?

Josh: You better not being trying to take Black from Shiro.

Steven *rolls his eyes*: Keith goes in through the access hatch, grabs the control sticks and says “Please, I know I’m not Shiro. But I want to help him.”

DM: Steven, roll a persuasion check

Steven rolls: Natural 20

DM: blinks Whoa, okay. After a little bit of flickering Black comes to life at your touch.

Josh: Oh, You’ll pay for this betrayal Steven. 

*Later*

Josh (as Shiro): Keith, if I don’t make it out of here, I want you to lead Voltron.

DM: Waitwaitwait. Not 10 minutes ago you threw a hissy fit that Steven was piloting your lion and now this?”

Josh: Hey, what I want and what Shiro want are two different things. And I’m trying to stay true to Shiro.

DM: Oh, ok. Good roleplaying then, 1 inspiration point to you.

......

DM: Alright, Sendak is now trapped and unconscious in the control barrier. The battle is over what do you do?

Kimberly: I immediately start preparing a cryopod to store Sendak’s body in.

Bex: Pidge checks up on Shiro.

DM: What about you Steven?

Steven: *sighs* Keith goes and to check on Lance and give him a hand up.

Jeremy: Lance swats Keith’s hand away and says sarcastically. “Wow, what a great teammate you are” And tries to prove his superiority by standing up on his own.

DM: Are you.... trying to intimidate him?

Jeremy: Yeah I guess I am.

DM: Okay, then roll for that, but with disadvantage b/c of how battered you are.

Jeremy: *rolls* 15. *rolls again, winces* crit fail.

DM: *smirks* You try to smack away his hand but you’re still dazed from the blast, instead you grab it gently and speak in a husky, almost flirtatious manner. “We make a good team.”

Steven: *amused* Keith is touched and smiles softly at him.

.......

DM: Hey guys, before you start I just want you to know that we’ll have another member joining us on the campaign from now on.

Tyler: Oh cool! Is their character gonna be another paladin? Or like a long lost Altean?

DM: Well, he’ll actually be picking up one of the NPCs.

Tyler: Ooo, who’s it gonna be? Kolivan? Matt? I bet its Matt.

DM: Oh, you’ll find out.

*time passes*

DM: So the situation is this. Coran is in the castleship, looking on in horror as Voltron flies as fast as it can from the planet that is about to explode and take out the nearby solar systems. The rebels are firing at the ship controlling this doomsday device but nothing’s working. Keith is on a crash course for the shield to try and break it, a maneuver that will surely end in his death. When out of nowhere a small ship appears and shoots a giant blue laser at the ship, piercing the shield and hitting the ship. You recognize the new ship as Lotor’s and over the comms you hear him say....

*AJ busts in dramatically and says*: Attention Paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters. I think it’s time we had a discussion.

Everyone: OH SHIIIIII******

(Sidenote: I mainly used voice actor names for clarity.)