#c. gilbert selwyn

[marlenethemenace]

WHEN: 9 December, 1979, between Dueling Club and dinner WHERE: Transfiguration corridor

“Not looking for me, I hope.”

Marlene’s feet -- which had carried her to the empty Transfiguration corridor of their own volition, propelled by the last few scarlet threads Vivian Travers had shrouded her in -- came to an electrified halt. They might have been looking for Gilbert Selwyn, but the rest of Marlene had not been. In fact, half of her had thought he wouldn’t be there when she came looking, but the other half of her had hoped it. Being alone with Gilbert ever again was one of the last things Marlene wanted for herself, if she even wanted it at all. But now, in the wake of his voice---

Marlene kept her back to him as the panic set in, more familiar to her now than she wanted to admit, especially as she realized the power it wielded had never waned. It spanned across the wide, gaping chasm between want and need that she had always wrestled with, especially where Gilbert was concerned. As she found herself inching closer towards the latter -- and closer to the wizard who had happened upon her with loud, ferocious steps -- Marlene wondered if this thing she dreaded didn’t fall neatly into that category.

“I need to talk to you.”

Unsurprisingly, Gilbert stayed silent. But he nodded. He nodded, and then he opened the door to his favorite unused classroom with well fabricated kindness. He stepped to the side, allowing for Marlene to lead the way in before he closed it behind them.

Before she could lose the nerve, Marlene opened her mouth to speak, loose ends flying about as she searched for the precise ones that had haunted her on the way up the stairs---but the attempt proved fruitless when the lock clicked in her ears, and she was forced to confront, at long last, a face she had only seen of late in dreams and nightmares. This was the first time in months that Marlene had taken note the details of Gilbert’s face, and how they had changed from the way she remembered him. Glimpses of dark hair and cheeky smirks in the corridors had hardly made a picture, and Marlene found now that the pieces she had drawn in from memory were strangely shaped, deformed and discolored when held up for comparison. The bags that had once dangled beneath his eyes were gone now, replaced by a new breed of confidence that had changed the angles of his mouth when it was at rest. And yet, he looked the same---just as patronizing and misunderstanding as he had ever been before. Maybe even, somehow, more. Worse, Marlene dared to think as she grew brave enough to meet Gilbert's eyes. Flat, plain, monotonous eyes that had once stretched to such depths. Or had they? Marlene wondered as a dissatisfied scowl slunk its way onto her face. Maybe there had never been any real depth there to begin with; or perhaps it had always been Marlene’s, skillfully projected and refracted back at her where he lacked by the both of them. She felt especially lacking now, hollowed out and useless everywhere but the eyes that had been burdened with this new, uninviting image of an older and just as unwise Gilbert.

“I haven’t forgotten your birthday.” It was simultaneously the most and least surprising thing to come from Gilbert’s mouth. He had always managed to exist just beyond the periphery of understanding when it came to Marlene, a point only proven further when he pulled from his bag a long, thin box that boasted an obviously expensive piece of jewelry inside. He extended it, but she did not take it. Even when waved in her face, it was the dimmest of details in this vibrant nightmare of a moment. “No matter which owl I try, Brian’s not been very receptive.”

“That’s not what I’m here for.” Marlene snatched the box from between them. She turned the unopened box over in her hands, stunned into silence again by the attempt at an olive branch that felt more akin to an unpotted cactus in her fingers. But Gilbert knew that. He had to know, in some capacity, why it was she had come here, even if she was later than expected. Her anger didn’t feel so erratic and loud anymore, like it had when Vivian had first swaddled her in it; it instead rattled impatiently beneath her feet. Once her eyes had adjusted to the way the shadows that hung from Gilbert’s shoulders had shifted, Marlene still didn’t know how to begin.

“I know I said you didn’t have to say anything.” She had hoped he would at least pretend to concentrate on setting up his cauldron, the same way she hastily stuffed the gift into her bag with great intent, but the weight of Gilbert’s unoccupied gaze stayed, weighing down her every movement, coloring the anxious breath that controlled her every word. “Or even that you had to acknowledge it.” She would be glad to be home at Number 5 an hour from now, she told herself as she zipped her bag shut, freshly scrubbed clean and bundled up with thick socks and a wool blanket. “And I meant it then. I really did.” Maybe a little lighter with the truth of her tangled and torn feelings discarded from her shoulders. “But it bothers me that you didn’t.”

A far more long and treacherous silence than the others stretched beyond the time Marlene had allotted herself for this poorly budgeted interaction. Silence was unsurprising with Gilbert, but what did surprise her, once Gilbert had walked around the room only to land on the edge of the table in front of her, was his continued nonchalance, the same perfectly practiced pretending that had driven her to the brink of insanity in these lonely past months. It took, this time, the form of another long silence, and more disappointing words.

“It bothers you that I didn’t do what, exactly?”

“Don’t.” The world was suddenly crimson again, this time without Vivian’s help. But this was not so vibrant a crimson. It was dark, certainly, but not nearly so fleeting. Instead of filtering Marlene’s vision like a thin scarf around the eyes, it colored the earth at its very roots, seeping up through the quaking foundation in a toxic haze. “Of all the things to be a cunt about, Gil.” Two furious and fiery tears cropped into the corners of her eyes, sprouted not from sadness, but the irrevocable anger that longed so desperately to escape that it cracked her voice on its way to freedom. “And now you want me to be the one to say it out loud---”

“Say what?”

“The letter,” Marlene hissed back at his impatience. “The one that Rosalind found.” She watched Gilbert’s face carefully now, with no inkling of a clue as to what it would reflect back at her next. “About me being pregnant.” Unsurprisingly, Gilbert remained, again, silent. But Marlene sensed something different in this silence---a certain lack of intention, an air desire for a loud response to crack it open with, an unpreparedness that she, ironically, had not been prepared for at all. When she allowed the truth to sink in, accompanied by the memory of Rosalind’s satisfied smirk as she had slunk away that night on the beach, Marlene felt as flatly ironed out as the eyes that stared back at her.

“You didn’t know.” The twin tears in her eye slid down her cheek, taking with them every last exhausting ounce of anger that Marlene had clung to. Just as she had when she had written him in June, she clung now to the simple facts. “She found the letter,” Marlene said slowly, eyes widening with every word. “And she didn’t tell you. She didn’t tell you I was pregnant.” But it was all for naught. No words came to break the silence; no emotion colored the blank expression on his face. Even with the truth laid so largely and plainly between them at last, Gilbert gave Marlene nothing in return.

“But you took care of it, didn’t you?”

Nothing but disappointment.

“Yes, Gil.” Her teeth clenched behind the words, making it all the more impossible to get out the next, even as she deadpanned them. She thought she understood him now, after all these years. Even one drop of emotion from her now would have unleashed an unforgiving, messy flood. Maybe Gilbert was simply an old neglected dam, ready to burst at the first sign of minor disrepair. But then came the relief in Gilbert’s eyes as she uttered the words, “I took care of it.” They gave Marlene enough pause to retrace those steps. Maybe there really was nothing there to be held back.

“Good.” Good. “Great.” Great. It was the only sincere smile Gilbert had dared to give her in those moments alone. And Marlene, taking a page from his book, refracted an insincere one right back. “And you’re alright, aren’t you?”

She was---physically, at least, which was all Gilbert cared about, if he even had the sense to do that. Anything else--- Marlene was too numb now to recognize anything she might have been feeling, much less to reconcile it with him now. The blood that had beat the war drums in her ears earlier had returned, this time with a much more melancholy symphony than before. It didn’t beg her to fight anymore; perhaps because she knew now that there was nothing there for her to fight for.

“I’m alright.”

Marlene smiled through the lie; he wouldn’t know the difference. And if he did, he wouldn’t care enough to let on. “It just seemed important that you knew, is all.” And now, it just seemed silly. Like a defunct firecracker, she shot past him for the door, nodding through the echoes of whatever parting words Gilbert was offering her now. When she could stand them no longer, she slammed the door in his face, and kept walking.

[nellfawley]

Nell Fawley Intro

☆ NELL FAWLEY —

BASICS

★ BIRTH DATE / 6 June, 1959 ★ BLOOD STATUS / Pureblood ★ PRONOUNS & IDENTITY / she/her; cisfemale ★ FACECLAIM / Willa Fitzgerald

ACADEMICS & ROOMING

★ PRIMARY SCHOOL / Cornwall County Day School for Girls ★ ACADEMIC PURSUITS / Pre-Auror ★ HOUSE & YEAR / Ravenclaw, 3rd Year ★ ROOMING ARRANGEMENT / Low Street House no. 6

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

★ Duelling Club ★ Oracle Newspaper

POINTS OF INTEREST

★ Nell’s father had been out of the picture ever since Daisy Selwyn fell pregnant in 1958. When Nell was about a year old, Daisy met and fell in love with a fellow Auror and her supervisor at the time, Nolan Fawley. He was fifteen years older than her and when it came out that they were going to be married, one of them had to step down from their position. Daisy quit for their family and they soon became the Fawleys. Though Nolan had been around all of Nell’s life, the two had never connected. They often didn’t see eye to eye, which left her mother in the middle of heated arguments while dinner on the table ran cold. Nell hates fighting and often has to go on a walk around the block to cool down afterwards. Now that her mother is pregnant again, Nell can only hope Nolan puts in actual effort with his next daughter. His real daughter, he probably felt.

★ Having such a relationship with her step-father has given Nell a nasty case of “always having to prove myself”. Sometimes, yes, having that you-can-do-it attitude often worked out in favor for Nell. When she put her mind to something, she’d use all her might to accomplish it. Sometimes using her all led to her neglecting other pieces of her life, though. As they began to drift in primary and when Marlene was expelled, all Nell could think is that her childhood friends, Marlene and Clementine, were distractions from the bigger picture. Their antics were holding Nell back. Nell felt it was time to move on. Friends eventually all did anyway, didn’t they? Now years down the line, Nell is working to become an Auror, while she struggles internally with her priorities and what they should be. If she made the right decision all those years ago, why was it constantly on her mind now and how much has she missed out on?

★ Though her schedule is usually a tight one, she finds time to fit things in for herself to enjoy. It won’t be parties she’s attending during her ‘free time’, but maybe playing poker underground with a bunch of strangers. Nell isn’t one for risk and values her earned money quite a lot, but because she feels she’s good enough at cards, she plays and often wins. She takes her winnings and stores them in her family’s vault or even invests them. Something Nolan did teach Nell was the value of their money. When she saw an investment opportunity in the iFlown, she took it. Sales are looking up and it seems she made a good decision. When she’s not trying to make more money, you can find her exercising out on the grounds or doing card tricks in the Ravenclaw common room.

TRAITS

✓ empathetic; adaptable; genuine ✗ judgmental; non-confrontational; workaholic

ALRIGHT SO YEAH!!!

is Gilbert’s cousin!! if there’s connection’s there

Marlene & Clem’s childhood friend who went to cornwall and blew them off!! connection’s there too ~~~

her dad’s in the DMLE and has been for quite a long time, connections theeere

she is ANNOYINGLY empathetic. like she always wants to hear both sides to every story and it’s really annoying when she won’t agree with you or just let you bitch and vent. she’s just too realistic yKNOW? and is like THERE’S NO REASON 4 ANYONE 2 BE MAD? she’s sorry

is also annoyingly determined and hard on herself? like if she misses a day of running after telling herself she would go for a run, she feels guilty about it all night long. same if she misses a day of reading or a day where she could have gone out and made more money

which brings me to another thing.... this bitch LOVES money!!! like dreams of being a millionaire one day and somehow thinks she can do it by investing in all kinds of things. sometimes questions if being an auror is all that and a bag of chips because it might not bring home the big bucks like she so desires

pls keep in mind she’s a fucking gemini LOL a ravenclaw gemini at that, ok

really loves a good debate, which honestly is what gets her into fights with her stepdad, b/c he’s confrontational when all nell wants is a GOOD FKN DEBATE. so she may challenge your character on something. it’s not because she’s rude ( even tho it kinda is ), it’s because she just wants to understand the why. it’s aaalll about understand everything

i am asking for any and all connections! people she’s had debates with, people she goes on runs with, people who she’s been there for b/c she loves being there for people, and ofc the obvious ones like friends/past hookup/exes/etc

idk if i forgot anything but pls <3 hello

[viviantraversing]

Hey, hi, hello! I’m coming at you with a little announcement... Get ready for the wedding of the century!!!!!! Vivian and Joseph are getting married on June 6th!!!! I know you all just simply cannot WAIT. 

Anyway, jokes aside, I know I’m behind on preparing threads for this event so if your character wants to chat with Vivian about it please let me know! Otherwise than that, please assume the following characters have received an invitation or were asked to be part of the wedding party. If you think your character should have been invited but they’re not included here, please send me a message on Discord!!! There is a 100% I’m a dumbass and I forgot!!! 

Wedding Party: 

@xtravers @gilbert-selwyn @bartycrouchjunior @jenniferburke (maid of honor) @rosalindselwyn @skyehathaway @francesbletchley 

Guests: 

@bellathicclestrange @rabsmonsters @wendythestrange @natalyagreengrass @greengrassisgreener @doctorlestranges @tiberiusmclaggen @aidenmclaggen @irisselwyn @caffeinateddowson @andromedaatnight @bastianbott @francesbletchley @youresovanity @janamclaggen @c-alecto @theworstcarrow @masonboot @skyehathaway @adrianvallancourt (lol) @bartycrouchjunior @percivalrobards @mulcibers @xtravers @cecilybeckett @prijaavery @jenniferburke @asheravery @ccnqueror @gilbert-selwyn @rosalindselwyn @narcissablack-x @mollymacmillan @freyamacdougal 

[sleepingdragon-rp]

DRAGON POX HAS COME TO HOGWARTS ---

As of 10 am of the afternoon of Thursday, 2 April, Hogwarts has officially reported its first case of Dragon Pox in one hundred years. While the patient has been escorted to St. Mungo’s and treated with only the finest of care, the castle cannot ignore the threat of such a contagious disease. Hogwarts castle will be cleaned from tower to dungeon, from ceiling to floor, to eradicate any contagious germs that may have been left behind by the affected patient.

Unfortunately for students, that means that, in the meantime, they will be quarantined immediately. Everyone will be escorted by the staff into the nearest location in the castle that has seen no contact with the Dragon Pox patient in the past week. For the next 30 hours, students will have their food delivered to their quarantine site by the usual means, as well as accommodations for sleep when the time arrives.

If you believe yourself or one of your peers to be exhibiting any symptoms of Dragon Pox, contact a professor via the emergency only owl located in your quarantine location.

OOC Information ---

IC the quarantine lasts from approximately 10 am on Thursday, 2 April, to 4 pm on Friday, 3 April. OOC, you may make starters for this plot drop from now through Monday, 6 April, 11:59 pm PST.

If your character is missing, it is either because they are part-time, assumed to be off campus, or were simply overlooked. So if you would like one of those rules to be included, just shoot me a message, and we’ll find them a spot. Alternatively, if there is absolutely no way in freshly frozen purgatory that your character would be where they were placed, shoot me a message, and we’ll find a way to fix it.

Groups below the cut!

Group One: Hogwarts Library

The Restricted Section is, well, restricted still. Students have free reign of the library, but will be asked to sleep in the Muggle Studies section only.

Quarantined Students: 

Alecto Carrow @c-alecto

Amycus Carrow @theworstcarrow

Asher Avery @asheravery

Daphne Davenport @daphnedavenport

Josslyn Janks @jankyjosslyn

Mary Macdonald @marymacdonaldhadafarm

Rodolphus Lestrange @doctorlestranges

Than Chadwick @thanthemans

Tiberius McLaggen @tiberiusmclaggen

Group Two: Kitchens

As the kitchens are responsible for feeding the rest of the castle during this delicate window of time, quarantined students have been given the back third of the kitchen to work with. Of course, they can still ask a House Elf for assistance should they be lacking in basic necessities.

Quarantined Students:

Andromeda Black @andromedaatnight

Bellatrix Lestrange @bellathicclestrange

Gilbert Selwyn @gilbert-selwyn

Iris Selwyn @irisselwyn

Jana McLaggen @janamclaggen

Marlene McKinnon @marlenethemenace

Regan Higgs-Weasley @reganweasley

Ted Tonks @tonkstedtalk

Group Three: Rouge Staircase

This particular staircase shut down as students were on their way elsewhere, leaving them stranded without the aid of other staircases around them. The staircase will move from time to time, although unhelpfully.

Quarantined Students:

Alice Shafiq @shafiqalice

Amathera Zabini @amatherazabini

Bastian Bott @bastianbott

Jennifer Burke @jenniferburke

Lily Evans @weewxtch

Mason Boot @masonboot

Molly Macmillan @mollymacmillan

Nola Fawley @nolafawley

Group Four: Hagrid’s Hut

This was deemed the safest location for students spread across the grounds at the time of quarantine. Tragically, Hagrid was inside the castle at the time of quarantine, leaving his hut locked (with an infantile Fang howling inside).

Quarantined Students:

Agatha Timms @aggietimms

Dorcas Meadowes @dorcasisntdeadyet

D.W. Widdow @deedoubleiddow

Fabian Prewett @fabiansacharmer

Gawain Robards @goldenrobards

Natalya Greengrass @natalyagreengrass

Percy Robards @percivalrobards

Vivian Travers @viviantraversing

Group Five: Arithmancy Corridor

While students were initially meant to have full access to the corridor at large, the remembrance that the affected patient had been there for a studying section earlier in the week caused them all to be shuffled into Professor Dearborn’s office.

Quarantined Students:

Caradoc Dearborn @dickdowndearborn

Cecily Beckett @cecilybeckett

Eyen Sosa @eyenscloset

Gideon Prewett @gideonprewonder

Pandora Lanchance @rohmantiq

Penny Tyler @pentyler

Rosalind Nott @rosalindnott

Sturgis Podmore @sturgispodmore

Wendy Lestrange @wendythestrange

Group Six: Owlery

Don’t worry, the birds don’t bite. At least not when they’re well fed. By people who are currently in quarantine elsewhere in the castle. Oh, dear...

Quarantined Students:

Amelia Bones @liabones

Bertha Jorkins @berthajorkinss

Bertie Higgs @bertiehiggz

Emma Vanity @youresovanity

Emmeline Vance @emmelionvance

Remus Lupin @x-remus

Sirius Black @messrsblacks

Tolkien Wilde @tolkienwildeboy

Group Seven: Hospital Wing

It was considered that these students might be better off moving to another location for quarantine, but as they’d already been exposed before the doors to the Hospital Wing were locked---well, it would just be irresponsible to let them leave, wouldn’t it?

Quarantined Students:

Cyrus Greengrass @greengrassisgreener

Davey Gudgeon @daveygudgeon

Edgar Bones @edgarboned

Frances Bletchley @francesbletchley

James Potter @jamespooper

Narcissa Black @narcissablack-x

Peter Pettigrew @pterpettigrew

Zoe Bell @rocketshipbell

Group Eight: Potions Corridor

Students in the potions corridor have access to that and only that: the corridor. All classrooms, offices, and storage closets have been locked.

Quaratined Students:

Adrian Vallancourt @adrianvallancourt

Barty Crouch Jr. @bartycrouchjunior

Benjy Fenwick @notbenjyfenwick

Bilius Weasley @biliusbby

Briar Pritchard @briarpritch

Hattie Hathaway @skyehathaway

Hestia Jones @hestiajonesx

Hollie Hopkirk @holliehopkirk

Lucius Malfoy @ccnqueror

Group Nine: Muggle Studies Corridor

More specifically, Professor Egg’s office and adjoining live-in suite.

Quarantined Stuents:

Aiden McLaggen @aidenmclaggen

Danny Geist @dannygeist

Dawn Withey @dawnwitheyy

Frank Longbottom @franklongbooty

Marceaux Travers @xtravers

Nicholas Mulciber @mulcibers

Prija Avery @prijaavery

Zelda Nettles @zeldanettles

[veritas-roleplay]

MOIRA PEAKES ♦︎ SLYTHERIN ALUMNA ♦︎ DEATH EATER ♦︎ FC: GWENDOLINE CHRISTIE ♦︎ OPEN

B I O G R A P H Y :

[ up to player ]

D E T A I L S :

☛ CANON INFORMATION : [ member of the Peakes family ]

☛ AFFILIATION : Death Eaters ( marked, member of Voldemort’s inner circle )

☛ BLOOD STATUS : pureblood

☛ AGE RANGE : [ suggested 27 - 33 ]

☛ FORMER HOUSE : Slytherin

☛ TRAITS :

   Positives : steadfast / observant / diplomatic

   Negatives : uncreative / material / blunt

☛ OCCUPATION : [ suggested Hitwitch / Gringotts guard ]

C O N N E C T I O N S :

CRESSIDA SLUGHORN, AUGUSTUS ROOKWOOD, LUCIUS MALFOY : close friends

ALECTO CARROW, AMYCUS CARROW :  mentors, bullies

CHRISTINE HITCHIN, GILBERT GAMP, PHAEDRA BELLCHANT : competitive with

ASTORIA SELWYN : intrigued by, flustered around

RABASTAN LESTRANGE : family friend, thinks they would be a smart match

BARNABUS CUFFE, JOHN DAWLISH, PHILBERT DEVERILL : former study group, amiable with

[foryourart]

Image courtesy of the Finley Gallery. 

PLAN ForYourArt: November 23–29

Friday, November 24

San Pedro Walking Tours, Historic Black Friday Tour, Angels Gate Cultural Center (San Pedro), 11am.

Let's Talk Art, Tieken Gallery LA (Chinatown), 1–6pm. Through November 26.

The Festival of Lights Switch-On Art Activities, Riverside Art Museum (Riverside), 5–9pm.

GEORGE HAAS: *1979*, The Finley Gallery (Los Feliz), online only.

Saturday, November 25

HANDMADE LA, Craft & Folk Art Museum (Miracle Mile), 11am–6pm. Continues November 26.

Sharif Farrag: Smokeless Fire, Gallery1993 at 356 Mission (Downtown), 11am–6pm. Continues November 25.

Finding Autonomy and Connection through Contact Improv: Jen Hong, Pieter (Lincoln Heights), 12–3pm. $30.

MACK BOOKS EXTRAVAGANZA, Arcana: Books on the Arts (Culver City), 4–6pm.

Katie Crown: Watercolors and Joan Wynn: Alive, and Deborah Decker: Under the Radar, TAG Gallery (Santa Monica), 6–9pm.

Artists Against Armaments, c. nichols project (Mar Vista).

Sunday, November 26

The bed you made. by Noberto Rodriguez, Bed and Breakfast (Mid-City), 12–3pm.

Relationship as Material moderated by Alexandra Grant, BOOKSHELVES (Mid-City), 3pm.

Post thanksgiving BBQ Party, Big Pictures Los Angeles (Mid-City), 3–7pm.

Border Properties, 2426 Set (Mid-City), 3–10pm.

Monday, November 27

L.A. COUNTY TREE LIGHTING, Grand Park (Downtown), 5–6pm.

Talk: Panel Discussion: Carlos Almaraz, Gilbert Luján, and Chicano Art, LACMA (Miracle Mile), 7–9pm.

Tuesday, November 28

Occupy the Imagination: Tales of Seduction and Resistance, Cal State LA (El Sereno), 12–2:45pm.

Film: Redhead from Manhattan, LACMA (Miracle Mile), 1pm.

Dame Zandra Rhodes, Huntington Beach Academy for the Performing Arts (Huntington Beach), 3pm.

Artist and scholar walkthroughs: Sandra de la Loza, Hammer Museum (Westwood), 6pm.

A.K. Burns: A Smeary Spot, Human Resources (Chinatown), 6–10pm.

TRANSflective: A Conversation on the Beauty of the Transgender Experience, California African American Museum (Downtown), 7–9pm.

Chavela, Hammer Museum (Westwood), 7:30pm.

Wednesday, November 29

Photography Field Trip with Cuba’s Malpaso Dance Company, Music Center (Downtown), 11am–1pm.

Peter Fischli: Cans, Bags & Boxes, Gaga and Reena Spaulings Fine Art (MacArthur Park), 5–8pm.

La Arcada Holiday Walk and Custom Jewelry Making at the Museum Store, Santa Barbara Museum of Art (Santa Barbara), 5–8pm.

Made by X > Victoria Fu and Matt Rich, Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego (San Diego), 6:30–8:30pm.

William Wegman book signing & exhibition, Marc Selwyn Fine Art (Beverly Hills), 7–9pm.

Screening of Walt & El Grupo, MAK Center for Art and Architecture (West Hollywood), 7pm.

Arttextum with Frida Cano Featuring a conversation with curator/archivist Maite Muñoz, LACE (Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions) (Hollywood), 7pm.

Astrid Hadad: (De)Constructing Mexicanidad, Hammer Museum (Westwood), 7:30pm.

[marlenethemenace]

OWL POST: GILBERT SELWYN

Saturday, 27 June, 1979, somewhere around 2 AM

Clem’s mum is dead. And I don’t know how to go and be at a hospital with Clem where people are dying while I’m thinking about Susan dying, or without thinking about what if maybe Clem dies next. You’re the only person who knows what it’s like to lose your mother at this age, at least that I can think of. So I thought about asking for advice, or about how it felt, but I wouldn’t really do anything with it anyway, because it’s different, and because it’s not really the thing I’ve been wanting to talk to you about anyway. My life is just one distraction after the other right now, and I need to get rid of at least one of them so I can work out the others.

Plus, writing a letter means I can’t cry, because I can’t afford to get the paper all wet and crinkly, so it’s a nice break. Maybe that makes this a little selfish, but all things considered, I don’t really think so.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this properly. I don’t know if there even is a way that’s proper. I keep thinking and overthinking and underthinking to make up for it, and I still haven’t got anything. I don’t want you to think it’s on purpose. I don’t want you to think I’m being nonchalant either. I don’t want anything, and I don’t expect anything. I don’t want it to come across like anything except for what it is, which is me telling you the facts so that you can have them. So here they are.

I’m pregnant. And since I’m writing you about it, I don’t think you have to guess at the when or the how or the who. I don’t plan on it getting much farther along than it is right now. Those are the facts. You don’t have to do anything with them, or even acknowledge that you know them now at all. I just thought maybe you would want to. Know them, I mean.

Marlene

P.S. I really meant it when I said I don’t expect anything. But if you wanted to come, I could tell you when and where. Only if you wanted to.

[marlenethemenace]

when: Quarantine in da night time where: Kitchens who: Gilbert Selwyn @gilbert-selwyn​ & Marlene McKinnon 

“I brought snacks.” Marlene held up a plate of cheese and crackers, and another of various fruits. “A little bit to get your sister to leave me alone, but mostly because I’m out of drugs, and Regan’s shrooms aren’t really my taste.”

[marlenethemenace]

when: 15 March, 1979 where: Hogwarts → London who: Gilbert Selwyn @gilbert-selwyn​ & Marlene McKinnon

Two weeks had seen an unquantifiable amount of attempts -- rather, periods of staring at blank parchment while a quill gripping hand grew cramped -- and yet Marlene still could not bring herself to figure out what to say to Clem. Another wrinkled sheet of parchment found its way into the trash bin on Sunday afternoon, crackling as it landed atop countless others. Marlene stared at the pile until her vision grew blurry and her thoughts turned to static. Eventually, her distracted gaze wandered, landing with momentary confusion on a skunk perched atop her desk. No, she realized as her gaze came back into focus. It was no skunk; rather, it was Gilbert’s gloves, borrowed for the sake of a task that had since been completed.

Less than a minute later, Marlene had summoned and unwrinkled one of the damaged pieces of parchment. The message came far more quickly and easily than she expected, and within another minute’s time, it was secured in Brian’s talons, along with the pair gloves.

They’re as clean as I promised they would be. Thank you.

Marlene

P.S. I’ll be stopping round that smoke shop soon if you’d like anything.

P.S.S. To be completely clear, at four o’clock this afternoon, I’ll be in Smythe’s Smokes Shop. And if anything that might be in the shop at four o’clock this afternoon might be of interest to you, I’d be happy to make sure it finds its way into your hands.

It was stupid, and foolish, and risky, and terrible. But Marlene had sent it, and no matter how she considered it might be interpreted, or the consequences that might follow, she could not bring herself to think it a mistake. Instead, she grabbed her jacket from the bedpost, swung her purse over her shoulder, and made for Hogsmeade, where she could properly apparate to the place she’d promised to be at four o’clock in the afternoon.

[marlenethemenace]

WHEN: tbd May, 1979, late late late at night WHERE: Hogsmeade WHO: Gilbert Selwyn @gilbert-selwyn​ & Marlene McKinnon

High. That was what Marlene felt as she sauntered up Low Street, eagerly searching for the castle on the horizon. High on the last waves of marijuana smoke slowly fizzling away through the in and out of her lungs. On the warmth of Davey’s arms that still felt just as tightly wrapped around her as they had when she’d been within his grasp. On the changing seasons that had injected life into every vein of Hogwarts life. She bounced on the balls of her feet as she walked. High, high, high.

But it couldn’t last. What went up had to come back down, and as Marlene rounded the corner to High Street, she began plummeting to the ground. No more highs. No more silver linings. The only things Marlene saw were somehow even worse together than they were apart: blood -- so much blood -- and the face of Gilbert Selwyn.

It took a few seconds for Marlene’s legs to remind themselves how to operate. One step, and then another, each heavier than the last as they carried the ghost of her being forward with a slow nervousness that felt distant from the frantic thumping of her heart beneath her chest. And then her legs caught up with the rest of her, rushing her to Gil’s side to appease the brain and the heart that begged for answers.

“Gil!”

[marlenethemenace]

when: 11 April, 1979, morning where: Hufflepuff Dormitory 2A

The task of rolling a joint was almost too mundane for Marlene. Well, too mundane for her to make much of a distraction out of it. Her fingers folded the baby blue wrapper into a perfect cylinder, as if it had never seen the surface of her operating table, never been split down the middle and scraped empty, never been torn apart and stripped at such a perfect state of being just to be made to start over fresh. The temptation to ignite it struck her with surprising vigor, but Marlene, even more surprisingly, resisted; she did not want to be high today. She did not want to be anything today, really, but that was not a choice she had been given to make. Instead, she settled for a plain cigarette, and the hope that she might float away, piece by piece, with every puff of smoke that drifted out the window.

Once her cigarette burned -- seemingly at both ends -- and the joint had been sealed -- without a seam nor a speck of saliva in sight -- Marlene clucked her tongue at Brian, motioning, as she put her brightly stickered tin back on her bedside table, for him to bring her a piece of parchment and a quill. The rolling and the smoking, mundane and plain as they might have been, were preferable to the challenge she faced now. To hold a quill properly between shaky fingers, to summon not only words, but the appropriate ones, into a mind that she had spent hours upon hours emptying.

The cigarette dangled as Marlene picked at the chapped pieces of skin on her lip. She knew what she wanted to say. She knew what she shouldn’t say. What she needed was balance---a concept which, unlike writing and rolling and smoking, Marlene had little practice with. There was always the thought that she not say anything at all, but even less than balance, Marlene had even littler practice with keeping her mouth shut. No, somewhere between the lines, between the swirling puffs of smoke that emanated from her now stubby cigarette, between the muffled thoughts that she had hastily packed out of sight and mind, there had to be a compromise---and Marlene was determined to find it.

And find it she did---though not until she had extinguished the last embers of her cigarette butt with a crushing jab against the bottom of the ashtray. With the same care she had taken to roll the joint -- if not more -- Marlene finally put ink to parchment.

“Why don’t you go and see Clem when you’ve finished?” Marlene scratched the spot behind Brian’s tiny left ear and fed him a treat. “I won’t make you portkey with me again after last time.” She watched as Brian flew through the window, away, away, away---just as she’d longed to do all morning. Soon, she reminded herself with a glance at the empty suitcase on the floor beside her bed.

Costa Rica. Clem. Soon.

Marlene shut the window and crossed the room to her wardrobe. There, she began to fill her suitcase, removing another thought from her heavy, busy mind with every article of clothing she added.

[marlenethemenace]

when: 8 February, 1979, Winter Formal where: Hogwarts Grounds who: Gilbert Selwyn​ & Marlene McKinnon

It wasn’t until Marlene stepped out into the cold, dark night that she realized what a drag she found the formal to be. It was easy to pretend it was fun when she was surrounded by disco balls and House Elves who kept her hand consistently occupied with a fresh cocktail. It was especially easy when all of her friends seemed to be genuinely enjoying the festivities. But now, standing beneath the heart shaped lights strung all around the courtyard, with only the cloud of her own stale oxygen for company, Marlene came to understand that she was not having a sincerely good time at all.

With the aid of her many cocktails, it was easy for Marlene to ignore that the bitterly cold air was prickling her legs, and it would be just as easy for a few minutes more. Choosing to take advantage of the timing, she pulled a fresh pack of cigarettes out of her bag. She had only just cracked the seal when she heard the crunch of snow beneath familiar feet. Marlene didn’t think; she only stared, allowing her brain to process the intrusion before she extended her very full box.

“Need a light?”

[marlenethemenace]

when: Tuesday, 26 November, 1978 where: Hogwarts who: Marlene McKinnon & @gilbert-selwyn

Gilbert’s back. That was all Marlene could concentrate on throughout the day, no matter how interesting the lesson. He had said he hoped to be back by Tuesday, and as rumor would have it, he had managed to follow through. The minutes ticked by slowly, and when the bell finally rang, Marlene was out of the room her final lesson had been held in by the end of it. She traveled across the castle to the Transfiguration corridor, where she was almost certain Gilbert would be waiting for her.

Sure enough, when she opened the door of Gilbert’s favorite unused classroom--- Marlene’s heart skipped a frantic beat.

“Hey, stranger,” Marlene called as a bashful smile crept across her face. “I thought I might find you here.”

[marlenethemenace]

OWL POST: GILBERT SELWYN

Saturday, 11 April, 1979, morning l  @gilbert-selwyn

Something old, new, borrowed, and blue, all rolled (literally) into one. It’s best to save it for after the ceremony, I think.

Good luck.

Marlene

P.S. If it’s something cliche like a dolphin, don’t tell me. I was hoping the blues wouldn’t be aquatic.

[marlenethemenace]

cigarette daydream

Marlene’s steps were crooked at best as she climbed the stairs of Hogwarts castle. Why had she bothered going to Briar’s birthday party, just to be a wet blanket? Why had she thought it was a good idea to eat that stupid piece of chocolate before going, knowing full well what kind of concoctions Gilbert was capable of? Why, why, why---

The regrets of the day echoed in her brain until she reached the fifth floor, when the bronze, Eagle shaped knocker came into view. Her regrets faded away. All Marlene could see now was red.

“GILBERT!”

Marlene marched up to the entrance to Ravenclaw tower, her voice drowning out the Eagle knocker’s voice.

“GILBERT SELWYN, I SWEAR ON MERLIN’S KNOB, IF YOU DON’T COME OUT HERE---”

[marlenethemenace]

OWL POST: GILBERT SINWIN

Thursday, 27 February, 1979, after dinner

I need to borrow the gloves I got you if you don’t mind.

Marlene

P.S. I promise to clean all the poison off them when I’m finished.