#can i even tag it as x reader when ya'll not even together officially

[eunjidrabbles]

can i please request forever, bitter version with gahyeon?

Forever Bitter Ver.

How long is forever, when forever means a different thing to everyone? What more is forever to someone who has an eternity to live? Blessing or a curse, may the fates bring us together each time.

Word count: 2.8k words

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The way the sun sets everyday changes. Gahyeon has watched it everyday ever since she realized the beauty of it at a very young age. She loved the way the colors moved across the skies as a sheet of darkness swallowed the skies and how the stars and moon come out to play. She remembers that one night when she looked out the window and saw the shooting star, did she put her hands together and wished. That she would get to see the sunset everyday forever. It only hit her what her wish meant when she watched her friends aged along with time. How her girlfriend at the time commented on how young she never had wrinkles, how she never looked a day older than when they first met. It was in her mid forties when her fiancée started complaining about the white strands of hair that were growing rapidly that caused Gahyeon to look into the mirror properly. Her skin was clear and glowing, eyes round and soft, lips full, just as she looked in her early twenties, perhaps even better.

“It’s not normal,” Her wife has once said when they went out only to be called a mother and child. “but you’re still you. That’s okay with me.” It was at her wife’s funeral, age fifty where she took a look at the world around her, and how everyone grew older except her. She showed no signs of aging, and that started attracting attention from her spouse’s family. Gahyeon understood that it was the grief talking, but it stung her when they accused her of stealing their lifespan. She had done nothing but gave her heart and entire being to loving her. The guilt however overwhelmed her and so she left, far away from all the confusing memories the place held, bringing only a single photo frame of their wedding day photo. 

Life goes on, and Gahyeon soon realized that she can’t continue to live as Lee Gahyeon, who is legally over eighty years old but remained the look of her in her early twenties. Struggling alone, Gahyeon somehow managed to live her years, moving across the world each time as her collection of photographs got more and more. They were a reminder to her, of each of her “life” she lived, only to remember each time that she would lose everyone in the end, and go back to being alone before having to move across the world again. It was at number 5 when she broke down completely. It wasn’t fair for her, that she lives on forever, but everyone she loved and cared for fall to time’s clutches. With no tears now left to shed, she bitterly took a look at the photograph and packed that into her suitcase.

It was an easy decision for her to make, when she unpacked her stuff into the new apartment. There was a way to stop all the additional pain. She just have to get over the loneliness and live alone. Detach when she feels attached. Easy as that. Anything else goes.

In the three years of living in the city, Gahyeon had got herself a job as a tour guide. The manager of the company was nice enough to not question when Gahyeon requested for her pay to be paid in cash, From Gahyeon’s experience, the lesser the roots in a place the easier it was for her to leave the place when time comes. There was also no way to track her in case there really was someone watching her. As long as she did her job better than the teens in the city that would much rather be spending their time at home playing games or hanging out with their friends, she kept her food bowl. Her promise to herself had been decently easy to keep too, with casual flings with the visitors of the town before they went their separate ways. No one was hurt, and no attachment were formed.

Coughing as her eyes flutter open, Gahyeon forced her eyes open only to shut it immediately as the sunlight shone directly into her eyes. Her throat was dry, probably from all the alcohol last night, Gahyeon thought. It was one of those nights where she craved someone next to her again, but her trip to the bar only ended with her going home very drunk and alone, completely forgetting her shift the next morning until she checked her phone. Rolling out of her bed, Gahyeon quickly gave her face a quick wash and throwing on some clothes grumbling under her breath about how years of drinking still didn’t help her with her alcohol tolerance before she slammed the door shut behind her. 

A glare shot her way was all she needed to know that she was late for her shift. Yanking the band and lanyard off the hook, she rushed her way outside where a small group of people were seated, some talking to one another and others on their phones. Taking a deep breath, Gahyeon pushed the pain of the hangover to the back of her mind as she pulled out her most convincing bright smile she could and greeted the group in hopes her cheerful energy would get them to dismiss the fact she was late. Her tactic worked perfectly seeing as to how the moment she spoke, all eyes were on her and smiles were shared among the group. “My name is Gahyeon and I am your tour guide for these few days! I hope you enjoy your time here!” Giving a quick scan of the room, everyone seemed to be revitalized by her faux energy except a pair of eyes that met hers curiously. Tilting her head and giving another big smile, Gahyeon continued. “Let’s all get on the bus now so I can break down our schedule more, shall we?”

Ushering everyone in, Gahyeon gave a quick headcount before hopping into the bus herself. Nodding to the driver, she took another deep breath before organizing her thoughts of the details needed to be given to the group as the minibus started moving with a jerk. Being thrown off balance, the woman could only have enough time to widen her eyes in shock and put her hands out in front of her to cushion her fall. It’s her fault, she shouldn’t have drank so much to get a hangover and cause the delay in reaction now she is going to make more of a fool of herself in front of everyone and that’ll be the memory she gives the new group of tourists. Instead of the dusty bus carpet, she landed on something soft, and looking up, she was met with your amused face. “If you like me, you could have just said something, you know. You don’t have to literally fall for me.” The entire bus broke into chuckles and Gahyeon sighed in relief that there was no mean comments thrown her way from her own mistake. With support from the bus seats, she stood up and nodded to you in thanks and settled down on her own seat in front of you.

The rest of the tour went on surprisingly smoothly despite the rough start and nearing the end of the day, Gahyeon let out a sigh of relief knowing that the time to rest her throbbing head was nearing. All that was left was dinner with the group and she could send everyone back to the hotel before heading home herself. Making her rounds once the food was served, she checked in on each table, making sure that the food was to everyone’s liking and that the mediocre tasting food didn’t make anyone sick . Finally setting away from the rest at her own table, Gahyeon sighed and started shoveling spoon after spoon of the fried rice in her mouth not realizing that she had forgone her meals for the day and the dinner being her first. Feeling a presence near her was what got her to pause mid bite and pull away, turning around to meet you. With a wave of a hand from you, signaling that she was free to continue eating, you eyed the empty seat next to her and she nodded.

“You weren’t very subtle, you know. I can spot someone with a hangover a mile away.” Gahyeon watched as you pulled out a small box and placed it on the table and pushed it slightly to her. “These should help with it.” Giving her thanks, Gahyeon fidgeted in her seat, not knowing where or how to continue the conversation. The thought that you paid attention to her and noticed what was going on warmed the woman a little and she relaxed and smiled at you once more, you gave a soft chuckle and stood up from the table and returned with a smile of your own. Just taking few steps away from the table, you turned back suddenly and called out to her. “I think you should smile more, and not that fake grin you do. You look really cute when you smile.” Laughing once again as you turned away clearly amused by how a blush was quickly rising to her cheeks, Gahyeon let out a huff in defeat, shook her head at your comment and went back to her meal.

The next few days flew by quickly, and nearing the end of the guided tours, Gahyeon had softened up to the group and gave everyone a hug at the end of the day. It was always interesting to hear all the stories share throughout time. As everyone else pulled away, you stepped forward with a smirk on your face, leading Gahyeon to groan and roll her eyes before coming forward with open arms. Hugging tightly, there was a warmth that made Gahyeon cling onto you. Reluctantly pulling away, you ruffled the woman’s hair affectionately and turned slightly to watch the rest of the group walk away.

“I still have a few days left in the city.” Turning back to Gahyeon, you licked your lips nervously and pulled out your phone. “Even though you’re the local here, can I perhaps take you out?”

Gahyeon knew she probably shouldn’t have agreed. She knew of her promise, and attachments only makes everything harder and more complicated. Yet there was something that complied her to nod. It was scary to Gahyeon. With each date she went on, with each moment she spent with you, she felt herself slowly losing control. She wanted to get closer, and closer to you. She wanted you to be the first and last thing she sees when she sleeps and wakes up. Every thought eventually linked back to you. She wanted you to be the one she spends time with as she sits by the pier as the sun sets everyday. That’s when Gahyeon knew, with a tear rolling down her cheek as she watched the moon slowly rise, that she has fallen for you.

Her phone blew up with messages and calls from you after a missed date. It stung her heart knowing what she was missing but she knew it would hurt more if she allowed for the relationship between both of your to progress. She knew that the further away she kept you from her, the lesser pain the both of you would have to endure. With that thought in her head she left her apartment to head to her workplace to collect her pay for the month. What she didn’t expect was going into the office and to be met with the managers glare yet again as he passed her pay over. “One of our clients has been trying to contact you, they even came all the way here.” Nudging towards the direction of the lounge area, Gahyeon followed the direction to see you seated on the sofa. Knowing that you probably won’t leave until you saw her, she sighed and nodded to her manager, signaling that you will handle it.

Walking out the staff only area, she made sure you saw her and continued her way out the door, successfully pulling you off the seat and following her out the company doors. Once she deemed that you were far enough, she turned around to face you. “Did you seriously ghost me, Gahyeon?” She knew she had to be harsh to you to make you understand. Sighing, she shrugged. “Look, I don’t know how to put this nicely but I had my fun.”

“This isn’t you, Gahyeon. I see how you’ve looked at me. I-”

“How would you know this isn’t how I am? You literally know me for like, a week.”

“I know because I love you! I want us to work so badly that I was already making preparations to move here to be with you!”

Her throat dried up as you ranted your thoughts at her. It can’t happen again. She would fight the damn world if it meant that no one has to go through the pain again. Tears sprung to her eyes as she fought her heart’s wants. She pushed away the images of the possible future that you two could have. The smiles, the laughter and skipped right to the very end to discourage herself. She’ll just be left alone again, to face the world. The pain wasn’t worth it. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to move, preferably towards you but watching you approach slowly, Gahyeon shook her head and turned to run home. Home, that is a temporary shelter, that is.

Darkness was the first thing you saw when you entered the small, plain apartment while trying to catch your breath from chasing Gahyeon. Stepping in cautiously, you could hear sobs coming from the only other door in the place and you inch towards it. The only source of light there was, was coming from the room so you slowly opened the door to see a wall filled with pictures as Gahyeon sat under it, knees to her chest and sobbing as silently as she could. Approaching the wall, your eyes were drawn to the pictures and how there was a familiar face in all of them. There was a distinct difference in clothing, signaling a different era, but the woman never changed. Gears started turning in your head, trying to find for an excuse of the abnormally but there was no mistaking it. Gahyeon was in each and every one of the pictures, and you could feel the love radiating off each picture. Looking at the woman at your feet, you opened and closed your mouth to try to make sense of what is happening; what Gahyeon was.

“Don’t you see? It’s impossible. Me, you. there is no happily ever after. Only pain as I watch you grow old and die.” Finally looking up at you and meeting your eyes, Gahyeon let out a wry smile before it was pulled into a tight line as the memories struck her again. “I’m cursed to live forever.”

Realization struck at her words, finally understanding what she meant. “I...” You started, trying to find your words while she bitterly stared at you. “I still want this.” Her face scrunched up in confusion, not understanding your thought process. “You deserve to be happy, Gahyeon. Even if its for short moments in your infinite lifespan.” Looking away, Gahyeon bit her lips in thought. “Let me make you happy.”

“I need time to think.”

A part of you wanted to stay with the woman, to show that you weren’t going to disappear but you reasoned with yourself. You knew where she lived now. Judging by the photos, Gahyeon should know to make decisions best for herself. Nodding, you slowly turned to the door.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.” Not waiting for an answer, you left.

The sun had yet to rise the next morning, but you were already dressed and well on your way, heart pounding in your chest to Gahyeon’s apartment. You prayed deep in your heart that she’d at least give it a chance for you. For a possible bright future. Although you have no clue what it was like living forever, you had dealt with grief, and you’d do everything you can to help her with it too.

You stop in your steps when you reach the apartment and found the door barely ajar. Gulping, you took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Biting the insides of your lips, you moved further into the apartment, desperate to find signs of life. Entering the room you were in last night, your heart dropped. Everything had been cleared out. Gahyeon had chosen to run from the pain than see what might have become of a future that held the both of you.

“I guess that is a clear enough of an answer.”