#can never get enough dekka in my life

[maybirdie]

Aloy’s battle granny ftw 👵🏼🏹

[ginaluvr]

thoughts after rereading hunger

diana continues to be my favorite character. the way that she makes it clear in this book that she allies with people who could easily hurt her but then manipulates them so she can never be abused or taken advantage of again. she’s so heartbreaking

i also still like astrid this time around. she really does try her best. i like her relationship with sam less than in the first book however

adulthood has really made me relate to sam in this one, i mean wow. all those responsibilities and pressure and he’s dealing with all of that at fifteen? i would break too

this is the first time i’ve read this series and fully understood the implications of what orsay sees in drake’s dream. how incredibly sick. pls get diana away from him

the gaiaphage is a scarier villain than i ever realized honestly, to manipulate lana and caine to the point where they don’t even realize it has been planting ideas in their heads…

albert essentially reinventing economy is hilarious

dekka my beloved. getting into her perspective and understanding that she’s in love with brianna always makes me emotional, and she calls herself a lesbian!!! no shame in it!!! that was truly so formative to me when i first read the series

i really like orc as a character i think he too is very tragic and ultimately better than everyone sees him. he always tries to do what’s right after the first book. howard is also literally in love with him?

duck makes me so sad. he’s just a kid trying to make the best of things and survive, and ultimately makes the biggest sacrifice, basically begging caine to help him sacrifice his life, to destroy something he doesn’t understand, to save everyone. he deserved better

the second half of this book is so slow paced but i don’t really mean that critically. the fact that only like 50% into it the coates group have already taken the power plant. and the rest of the events happen in the space of around 18 hours??? yet so much is happening? i’m on the edge of my seat

my god the whole human crew thing was SOOO frustrating. arguably enough to make a great storyline. but so frustrating. poor hunter i always want to cry when reading what they do to him

lana :( :(( :( that’s it. i love you lana.

caine is unbelievable being this close to starving, trying to feed the gaiaphage, and everything is just insane but he’s still like ‘… diana’s hair is gone 😔’

but on from that caine having a moment of goodness and trying to do the right thing at the end is enjoyable. complicated villains are fun! his love for diana overrides everything else

i enjoy fact that dekka used to have a crush on diana even if diana at the time wasn’t deserving of it. in my dreams they could be a good ship, two of my fave characters. but poor diana doesn’t know how to love decent people

it’s crazy how close everyone came to dying in the last few chapters. edilio got shot in the chest and dekka was torn up by coyotes and they both managed to hold on for 20-30 minutes before lana could get to them? also, how did everyone not die from radiation poisoning?

overall thought is that this book was a lot better than the first one. i will continue to make notes as a i reread because this is fun even if there’s so little gone fandom out there :)

[gone-series-orchid]

diana and astrid oneshot

author’s note: hello, here is that astrid and diana fic anon asked for! takes place during fear, and is a sequel to my fic “reacquaintance.” i hope it’s alright, anon!

Diana knew Astrid before she even talked to her. She could glean everything about her from the way she held herself—straight-backed, head high. Her blonde hair was tied back into a tight ponytail; she was wearing a white blouse and a pair of jeans that were unflattering in their looseness. Frumpy clothes befitting a Christian like her, Diana thought. She was pretty, with big blue eyes and. That instantly raised Diana’s hackles. Pretty girls were dangerous. They were a challenge. Her only imperfection was her nose, which was long and slightly hooked. That gave Diana a bit of satisfaction. She herself had a small, upturned nose. It was one of her best features.

Of course, Astrid couldn’t just be pretty. Oh, no—she had to be smart, too. A genius, apparently. Diana rolled her eyes when she heard.

Things were different now, though. Diana was different. She picked the frayed hem of her nightshirt, noting the way it swelled over her pregnant stomach. Astrid was right beside her on the bed, legs crossed. Her cutoff shorts exposed the ropey muscles she’d acquired when she’d run away to live in the wild. She was looking at Diana intently. “You should talk to her,” she said.

“No.” Diana scrubbed her face with one hand. How many times had they gone over this? “She hates me. That’s not going to change. Besides, you don’t even know her.”

Astrid frowned. “I know her well enough. She’s a good person. Besides, it was so long ago.” Her voice gained that sanctimonious tinge Diana hated as she continued to espouse all the benefits of getting close to Dekka, and she tuned her out, restless. She was beginning to hate being stuck in this bed. Walking around the houseboat wasn’t hard, exactly, but she grew tired easily. Astrid’s company wasn’t unwanted, but she could still be irritating. “I don’t want to talk about this,” Diana interrupted.

Astrid pursed her lips, but she stopped talking about Dekka. That was good. Diana didn’t like to think about the stuff she did before the FAYZ—all of it seemed dumb, painfully so. God, there was a time when she actually worried about her grades? Or her ever-rotating parade of roommates?

Astrid peered at the bedside table. “Have you read any of them?” she asked, referring to the stack of books she’d supplied her with.

Diana groaned inwardly. She’d picked up Madame Bovary a few times, but she never read very far before getting bored. “No,” she said, trying to sound regretful. “Not yet. My stomach’s been—you know.”

“Oh.” Astrid  didn’t sound disappointed, which was annoying. Maybe she hadn’t been expecting her to read those books in the first place. “I can get you some painkiller.” Astrid got off the bed and stood up. She always wanted to leave when they ran out of things to talk about. Diana didn’t like that much—sometimes it was nice just to sit, and Astrid didn’t seem to get that.

“No, it’s okay,” Diana said before leaning back on her pillows. “Sit down. I’m fine.”

She sat back on the bed and put her hands on her lap.

“How are things with Sam?”

“Fine.” Astrid’s reply was tight.

Of course. Diana cursed herself. They were fighting or broken up or something. What a stupid thing to ask. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” she admitted.

“Don’t be.” Astrid looked uncomfortable, like she wasn’t used to talking about this kind of thing. “We’re okay now.”

“Oh.” Diana didn’t believe her. She’d heard their muffled arguments a couple times. She’d also heard other things that indicated their relationship was, despite this, still very much active. She knew more than anything, though, that a healthy sex life did not a good relationship make. Hell, she had evidence, she thought, looking glumly at her stomach.

Astrid was looking at her strangely. “We are,” she repeated. “And anyway, it’s none of your business.” Her voice was curt and cold.

The ice princess returns. Diana just shook her head. Suddenly, she felt sort of sorry for her. “So defensive,” she said.

“I’d rather not talk about Sam, Diana.”

“What, you don’t trust me?”

Astrid gave her a look. “Not really.”

Points for honesty, I guess. “Alright. We won’t talk about Sam.”

“We can’t talk about books, either.” She gestured to the bedside table, deadpan.

“Yeah.” Diana smiled. “I’ll read something soon. By the next time you visit.” Which will probably be in two days, tops...not that I can complain.

Astrid nodded, giving a little smile back. “I guess that’s my cue, then.” She stood up, dusting off her shorts.

Diana reached over and picked up Madame Bovary. “Bye,” she said, flashing her the cover. “See you next time.”

Astrid smiled and gave a little wave. “Bye.”

“Wait! Hold on.” Diana held up a finger. “Bring me an iPod next time. And earbuds.” Astrid nodded and departed. She settled into the bed with the book, cracking it open. Maybe this would be okay; it was better than staring at the wall or sleeping.

Then, at least she and Astrid would have something to talk about.

[ginaluvr]

thoughts after my first gone reread in years

as someone now in my twenties i’ve decided to revisit the series that changed my brain chemistry as a nine year old and will be doing book-by-book thoughts. i think the first book is pretty surface level so these are more just opinions than deep observations. let’s begin :)

firstly obvious one but fourteen is… sooo young. like these are babies.

when i was a kid i didn’t like astrid, i think i had this weird aversion to her being religious and optimistic and trying to make logic from everything. but it was so easy for me to empathise with her this time around. that’s really just her way of making sense of a crazy situation

mary is such a tragic and wonderful character. she doesn’t know how to truly take care of herself so she takes care of everyone else. my heart always breaks for her

the dialogue is so cringey in the first book and it’s funny because you can absolutely tell this was written for middle schoolers. whereas the later books… definitely pivot away from that demographic

i love diana i just love love love her. she’s also tragic by circumstance, allying herself with bad people to survive because she never believes she can be good enough to deserve community with good people. she deserved so much better

it’s kind of funny in retrospect that caine & co couldn’t even pretend to be good guys for a full week

why was howard kind of in love with orc a bit

the nicknames in this series are so funny, wdym there are people unironically calling themselves panda, mallet, orc, bug, computer jack,

i don’t really get what the entity was that was trying to tempt them to leave the FAYZ. i assume it’s mean to be the darkness, but wouldn’t the darkness want them to stay?

it’s such a cool easter egg i’ve never noticed before that lana’s recurring childhood nightmare is the darkness. it’s been with her all her life, they were bound to cross paths

on that note, lana is also the best. i love complicated teenage girls. she’s so cool

still every time i reread i find myself wishing someone had just offed drake at the earliest possible opportunity

dekka’s powers are so awesome. i know she hardly materializes in this book but she later becomes my favorite so i just have to mention her

astrid and sam really are very sweet (at least in this book) i’m sorry that my dislike for astrid as a kid stopped me from seeing that before

it’s enjoyable to me that in the sad circumstances of diana feeling completely tied to caine she can still embarrass him just by being so much cooler than he is, good for her

thoughts on hunger will follow soon :)