#can you believe i left that industry bc i wanted to do less [redacted] work. lmao

[bellshazes]

wait whats the deer story im curious now

i used to work in home & auto insurance and the fire/water/wind etc. restoration guys would always come around and try and - it wasn't bribing, because we had pretty strict implicit policies against bribing that mostly meant picking business cards at random to read to customers with very detailed disclaimers that we were not endorsing any particular services. but they'd come around with fruit or flowers or cookies or to just chat or whatever and some of them would talk shop with us. there is a bond between guys who do biohazard cleanup and guys who do claims intake phonecalls.

so anyway one of them came by to the office one day and we got to talking about weird claims/cleanups we'd encountered, as you do, and this one guy who was one of my faves described a time they'd had to do biohazard cleanup on this house where a deer had apparently busted in through the big front window on a culdesac. i forget now but i suppose they had maybe left the door open and the deer wandered in and attempted to exit that way - but the important thing is that the deer busted through the big window and bled fucking everywhere, but in its horrible frightened terror it also managed to enter and similarly bleed over the house across the cul-de-sac, and their job was to clean up the absolute carnage of panicked deer blood all over multiple houses. i took some really buckwild calls in my time but even the weird stuff was more like is squirrels eating your brake lines a covered loss or someone's breaker box flooding (which had happened to me!) and that one has stuck with me forever. i wish i remembered the details better but the image of that freaked-out deer causing havoc across multiple homes sticks with me