#can't guarantee when it'll be made but eh

[mellowwillowy]

𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Feat: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Lilia Bonus: Floyd, Jade, Jamil, Rook, Epel, Malleus

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle’s face was almost as red as his hair, not out of anger but rather…

[Oh my gooodddd, stomp those tiny feet again, Riddle! Give me that pout~]

Really… should he do it again? Out of nowhere? Well, let’s take a walk to where you clicked then…

[Yaahhh!! So cuteeee!!!]

Well at least you didn’t think him badly for being angry out of nowhere… whoops, he wasn’t supposed to idle like that.

Ahh, why are you moving on to another character? Cater? That good for nothing? The naughty ADeuce duo? He's almost turning from red to green in envy!

Leona Kingscholar

Leona was supposed to be ticked to the brim but definitely not with you. His ears are red from your nonstop rambling while you keep on poking his avatar right on his ear.

[I wonder how it feels like to play with his ears, ah, maybe I should help you clean it too?]

Don’t. Twitch. Ears. Else the player might notice this and question this one new idle.

[Thinking back, I kinda wanna try stepping on his tail like Yuu too~]

Don’t. Swish. Tail. What? Is he a masochist or what? Well, if it’s for you then he wouldn’t mind it.

Wait wait, why are you checking out Ruggie and Jack now? Hey, what do you mean Ruggie has cuter ears and Jack has a fluffier tail? Why do they look so proud? Are they asking to be minced?

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul might break out of the avatar restraint now. You’ve been talking about how you want to squeeze the kid him, round and plump, you quoted.

Why did you find his past appearance adorable?

[Honestly, I kinda want to lift him and his hiding spot and boil him as a takoyaki filling]

Now that made Floyd and Jade snickered. Azul was internally panicking but his avatar did not show him breaking a single sweat.

[Or maybe gather all his ink whenever he cries]

For your pen?

[But I do think squeezing his plump octomer form is the best~ Oh well, he had lost all those baby fats]

And back to how you ramble about his round self again. This was supposed to be disheartening but why was he blushing?

Wait wait, don't look away from him, no! Why are you going to Floyd? And Jade too? He knew Floyd won your heart but allow him to worm into your heart at the very least. Please let one of his three hearts rest in you!

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim was nodding non-stop at your ramblings, or should he say, wishes. He was really happy that you were taking him as your magic lamp!

[And then, I want you to lace my body with lots of glitters, made of gold!]

No hard task, he just had to grind all that gold into some sort of fairy dust for you!

[Oh! And I want to try swimming in a pool of golden coins like Uncle Scrooge! I wonder if it'll hurt and uncomfortable as I think...]

He was in the same boat with you. You'd have to be careful when diving into the pool! But you can try sleeping on it though you should be careful, just in case the coins swallow you whole!

[And a carpet ride every night~]

Roger that! Tell him more of your wish, will you?

Eh? Why do you stop wishing? No! He will guarantee you that he will make it all come true! Please do not doubt him! Ah... it's because you two are in a different dimension? Screw this barrier that separates you two then.

Vil Schoenheit

Yes, he knew he was unworthy of your praises but he couldn't help but enjoy bathing in it!

[Look at your hair... and that make-up! Wow... truly is the fairest one of all!]

Oh please, no matter how much you compliment him, he could never compete with you beauty-wise! You would always be the true fairest one of all!

[Aha! Look at those heels too, contribute a lot to your height, and make you look so pretty!]

Even a prominent actor like him can't cover his natural reaction which was the growing blush on his face!

Eh? Rook? What does he have to do with him? Too in love with his words more than the beauty in front of you right now? No no no, you must look at him only and no one else!

Idia Shroud

If anything, he was glad his hair did not turn pink! From the way you kept on poking his avatar and patting his head, it made his heart tickled. He was no longer stuttering because the system wanted him to, but because he himself was nervous!

[Oh, show me that one illustration... Kyaaa! Why must you be so cute biting on your sleeve??? It's so inviting!!!]

Ah? That one? He couldn't help but feel embarrassed as you zoomed into his face and examined his hair. Truly, this was too much for his heart!

[Oh oh, and your masquerade costume is so pretty! It makes you look so pretty ffs!]

Ah, it was pretty uncomfortable to wear but he's glad he didn't take it off, not like he can do that anyway. The system won't allow that after all.

Everything feels nice so why are you changing character now? Wait wait! Have you checked his other card? No no no, why is that little shortie fae here? Don't close on him, please! He might want to try hacking your phone soon!

Lilia Vanrouge

Oya? You'd like to dress him up? Kukuku, looks like green and pink would work well on him~

[And... I think we can try curling his long hair, can we change the hue from red to pink like a color wheel?]

...Curling his hair didn't sound bad. Maybe he should try it sometimes and see if it suited him.

[Oh! And I'm gonna hang him upside down like the bat he is! My cute little bat, let's fist-fight!]

You really are an enigma huh? One moment is a sweet and docile lamb then the next moment you are a bull. Hm? Malleus? Why talk about him so sudden? Didn't you say he is your number-one favorite from Diasomnia? So why are you looking at someone else now?

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒:

Floyd Leech

God of Shrimpy~ Keep on poking him, he loves it! Ah, you love his teeth? And his droopy eyes? And his laugh? Hehe, you really love everything about him huh?

So why do you even bother looking at the others? He's going to hug you tight for this silly!

Jade Leech

Ah, he is quite the gentleman, no? Hm? You'd like to keep him as your butler? Why that is quite the generous idea that you allow him to manage your daily life~

With a small dose of love potion in your daily tea every day, he's bound to have you in his arms soon, well, if he ever finds a way to pull you into this twisted wonderland.

Jamil Viper

It truly is an honor to be considered as someone reliable (from babysitting Kalim) and acknowledged as an attendant who could shield you from any danger, truly. He is ready to put his life in line for you so why?

Why are you saying that there's someone else who might fit the position as your attendant more than him? And that person being that slimy eel no less!

Rook Hunt

Ah! This is amazing! To be able to charm you with his words and let him worm into your heart is truly a blessing! Would you like him to write you a poem detailing your beauty?

No no, mon chèri, you shouldn't grace those who are unbefitting of it, don't you think it's a waste to spare the other your grace? Allow this hunter to save you from that trouble.

Epel Felmier

H-huh? You want to dress him up? Naturally, he hates being treated as a doll, a girl no less! But... the idea of you helping him dress and helping him with makeup... he can do this. It is your way of gracing him after all...

Huh? You want to dress Lilia up too? Why? Because he's cuter? Oh no, there's no way there's someone who is prettier than him, look at him, look at how pretty he is in this dress!

Malleus Draconia

If anything, he will always hear you compare him and Riddle to the 'Queen of Heart' and 'Maleficient' from your world. You will praise him for being able to stand on the same level as the actress' beauty which makes him feel giddy.

But boy is he sulking when you start rambling about Riddle and the big-headed Queen. You will dote on him and Riddle back and forth.

Can't you just dote on him?

[dark-frosted-heart]

Aphrodisiac Event - Roger Barel (epilogue)

Here I am translating the epilogue 3 months later because it lives rent free in my mind.

Premium end to recap

Awkwardly translated smut ahead. As usual can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’ve already slapped a community label on this but minors dni

He poured the aphrodisiac into my mouth, wiped his wet lips, and smiled wickedly.

Roger: Tell me what that special feeling is that isn’t a brain dysfunction or sexual desire.

Ba-dump. My body heated up and I lost my sense of awareness.

It was as if I became a beast craving for Roger in front of me.

Kate: Why did you give me drink the aphrodisiac again?

Roger: So that cute and lovely Kate craves for me.

Kate: You…egoist.

Roger: Woah there, you doin alright?

The moment he steadied my body, unsteady in my delirious state, Roger’s scent made me dizzy with excitement.

Roger: Ah, even after gettin’ you off, your nipples are still so perky. C’mere, Kate. There ya go…

He picked me up with ease and plopped me down on the table in the drawing room of the palace.

Roger then threw the night dress hanging around my waist to the floor as if to say that it was in the way and stuck his hand down my underwear.

Roger: Kate, sit up for me. Uh huh, that’s a good girl. Should’ve taken your underwear off sooner. Just look at how soaked it is…

Kate: Please don’t…say stuff like that

Once I was as bare as the day I was born, Roger grabbed my ankles, planted my feet on the table, and spread my legs wide.

Without looking, I could tell what was happening just by the sound of my legs spreading.

Roger: Haha, what a mess. How'd ya endure it when you’re this wet?

Kate: Ah…Don’t stare so much.

Roger: Don’t wanna. Look, you’re getting wetter just from me staring. How naughty.

Roger’s large palm rested above my heart as he gazed down at my arousal flowing between my legs.

Roger: Your heart’s racing. This the special feeling you were talking about?

Kate: No… There’s no special feeling between us yet.

Roger: Hmm, well this is gonna be a problem since that special feeling you’re talkin’ about us love.

With a smile on the mature face, Roger sank his fingers into my wet core.

Kate: Ah…

Roger: You like my fingers there? You’re squeezing me tight.

Kate: Ah, there…

Roger: Alright, I’ll touch you there. Must feel real good having me press there.

With how Roger sought out all the best spots, it was like he knew every inch of my body.

Roger: Hey, Kate. I can't define how I feel about you, but... I don't like the idea that some other guy's touched you here.

(Huh)

The moment his eyes flashed a ferocious color, he worked his fingers in and out without mercy.

Kate: Haaaah

I felt like I was drowning in Roger's intensified scent as he held my head against his solid chest

Kate: Ah, I can't anymore

Roger: You're trembling...Come on, cum for me again. Come on, Kate.

Kate: Aaahhhh

Her body shakes as she cums.

Kate: Ah...I...

Roger: Pfft, hahaha. Cute... I got hard 'cause you're so cute.

Roger removed his belt and took out what was tenting his pants.

(It's huge...)

Roger: Sometimes they worry. But if I slow, it'll fit. Hey...You wanna go all the way? Or—

(Ah...)

The tip of something hot and hard prodded against my dripping wet entrance, and my heart pounded loudly.

(I can go all the way like this with Roger...)

(But)

Kate: We only go all the way...if we love each other.

Roger: I don't believe in love though?

Kate: Then I'll make you believe in it...

Roger stared at me for a moment and then narrowed his eyes.

Roger: Pfft, haha...Alright, bring it.

(Huh, what did I just...)

With a suggestive smirk, Roger tugged my arm.

Roger: Kate, put your hands on the table. Good, and turn your ass toward me.

Kate: Eh...Um, this position.

When he pressed up against me from behind, I felt something hot between my legs.

Kate: Roger, it's touching...

Roger: Yeah. Don't worry, I'm not gonna put it in. But since I got hard, let me take care of it. I know you're aching too.

Kate: Eh, ahhh

He grabbed my waist from behind and I felt him rub back and forth between my legs.

Roger: Ngh, haaa...Kate. Close your legs...a bit.

(This makes it feel like I'm...doing it with Roger)

Kate: Aah, Roger, don't...

Roger: Don't? Really?

Kate: Haaa, ahhh

He pinched my nipples from behind and my arousal overflows from between my legs.

My body rocked back and forth in time with him and I couldn't think of anything else.

Kate: Don't go in...ah...Roger...

Roger: I...won't. It's what I said. Honestly I'm holding back from thrusting inside you. Aren't ya glad I'm an honest guy?

(Honest? Since when—)

I didn't have the energy to talk back.

When he looked over and saw my tears of pleasure and frustration, he licked them away.

Roger: Haha...You really are cute, Kate.

--

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in my bed in Crown's castle.

(Even after all that, there's not a single hickey...)

Surely Roger's nonchalantly continuing his research right now.

(I wonder if Roger will ever have any special feelings toward me)

(But...is that even possible for him)

I flopped back down on my bed as I thought about it.

[blankticket]

7, 17, 19

7) If you could “borrow” one aspect of Vash and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?

plant powers tbh. wrt the lifespan thing, for the record im pretty staunchly anti-immortality anti-singularity etc. bc as i've made vash say as much, none of us will need forever. plus any sorta tech like that if it's ever possible is going to prioritize, if not exclusively save, those who can afford such a thing. but anyway the idea that i would get to live for as long as i want is appealing.

i'm not thinking of a longer lifespan as a safety net for failures, cause i think i'd appreciate being imperfect with a longer lifespan, but rather thinking of it in terms of how i could then guarantee there's more good that i'll be putting out into the world. i'd probably have to take a page out of vash's book and travel around a lot so that people don't realize the same 20-something's been around for centuries but eh. idk maybe my feelings would change 300 years in, who knows

17) Why do you think you connect to Vash?

made a face like i licked a lemon reading this question bro i wont lie. the same reasons i connect to vash are the same reasons i avoided trigun for many many years. i was afraid (trigun maximum) vash's character would hit too close to home. particularly the twin stuff, even before knowing that vash would lose his own brother, too—being a lifelong lone twin myself. in comparison to maximum, stampede emphasizes much more on the twins, and even besides that, a lot of vash's deal in stampede feels uncannily similar to my own experiences. um you ever bump into a fictional character you feel completely #read by and just want to fucking run and leave and forget for as long as you can. well. yeah it was like that except now i'm much more able to handle this shit so i'm here now

sharing the same personality as him (in vash so far i definitely see a lot of who i used to be as well, when i was so much more of a self-deprecating people-pleaser bc i believed so much in my own worthlessness), the twin bereavement thing, wearing glasses (myopic deadeye), preferring revolvers (when he spun the cylinder while loading bullets in i was like omgg hes just like me fr), thinking nicholas d wolfwood is hot, all these connections definitely inform my interpretation and portrayal of vash. and i kin the guy but that's obvious enough

19) If you had to judge Vash and sentence him to a “fair” fate, what would your judgment be? Would you punish him? Reward him? How?

ok in my opinion. and also this is going to sound hilariously ridiculous without the context of trigun maximum but whatever. it looks like orange is ultimately going to turn vash into a giant apple tree or otherwise use the last of his lifespan to save his brother. i'm not completely set on how i feel about that, given that not even a little teaser for the final phase season is out yet! but for how i feel right now at least, i think that fate is pretty fitting. can't say whether that's exactly either a reward or punishment though

spirale-wise it's so much harder to say lol, i'm not writing vash keeping an ultimate endpoint in mind or ever considered one for him…

hm. well, if i come up with something, it'll be a hypergiant challenge deal. i have considered doing something like that for him 2 years after last year's giant challenge, to mirror how in-canon the timeskip is 2 years post-julai. but idek if i'll still be writing him by then. stay tuned?

[kyousystem]

I don't really know who to talk to about this (or feel comfortable talking about it with most of the people I know [not to mention how unsociable I'm feeling at the moment]) or where to put this, so in standard Kyou System operating procedure, I'll just broadcast it to the public. Maybe it'll at least be entertaining to someone, eh?

I have a very unhealthy relationship with my sexuality. It's been this way effectively for as long as I've had any degree of libido (some 16+ years now at this point), with my sexuality effectively serving only as a means by which others have guilted, shamed, abused, controlled, or otherwise gratified themselves using me. The line I wrote in THERA 1 is apropos: "I have fucked and been fucked but no one has ever made love to me."

When I was an early teenager, deep in the throes of puberty, some clown at the Catholic church my family went to thought it prudent to remind me of the verses Matthew 5:27-30, which are as follows:

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Now, at the risk of stating the obvious, there's a very important bit of context here: You can't meaningfully commit adultery in this way if you're a single, unmarried teenager. Heedless to that fact, however, the teenager that I was, in his desperation to be The Best Catholic Possible™, quickly worked out the following line of reasoning:

To feel lust towards women is to commit adultery.

Adultery is forbidden by the Ten Commandments.

Breaking one of the Ten Commandments is a mortal sin.

Committing mortal sins guarantees that your soul will be damned.

Ergo, to let yourself feel lust is to ensure your own damnation.

With that in mind, in a full-blown moral panic, I resolved to take the advice of verses 29 and 30: I started repressing my sexuality as fiercely, fervently, and thoroughly as I possibly could, an endeavor I maintained for a good few years, feeling deeply ashamed of myself whenever I'd cave and try to explore it at all.

Of course, that much of the story is fairly pedestrian. Christian kids repressing their sexuality are a dime a dozen, no (or perhaps a dollar a dozen now, thanks to inflation)? Were that the full extent of it, I wouldn't be bothering to write all of this out; that is to say, it gets worse.

After a while, I eventually lost my faith in Catholicism, and stopped repressing my sexuality so aggressively in turn—though, at that point, I'd so completely flattened my libido and so deeply associated it with guilt and shame that I barely felt it regardless. It was around that time, however, that, despite my resounding social ineptitude, I managed to get involved with my first serious girlfriend.

Things started off fine, and I at last had a healthy avenue through which to explore the world of physical intimacy... or so we might hope, but to my misfortune, my partner turned out to be horribly manipulative and abusive. Spineless and emotionally downtrodden as I already was from years of neglect and other mistreatment before that point, it took me a very long time before I managed to leave her for good. Unfortunately, the damage was already done by that point: In addition to the existing lingering associations of guilt and shame, my formative sexual experiences had been yet further marred by her abuses, verbal, emotional, and physical alike.

In the following years, I ended up blundering my way through a few other relationships with people after they came on very strongly to me; I was still numb with pain, bereft of self-respect, and utterly unsure of what I wanted, so I simply went along with it without thinking. In retrospect, it seemed like all of them were far more interested in me physically than in any other way—and, as you might imagine, although none of these relationships were nearly so toxic as my first, even at their worst, they did absolutely no favors for the state of my sexual identity, such as it is.

Fast-forward to the present. As I've made strides in processing and accepting the abuse & traumas of my past and likewise made great efforts in trying to incorporate all of the various different parts of who and what I am into myself, my sexuality has steadily resurfaced more and more. The various tribulations it's endured, however, have rendered it almost unrecognizable, as I wrote in a journal entry of sorts last year:

Meanwhile, something weird has going on with my sexuality. I used to hate the whole "yandere" trope, but at some point this year, the idea of some crazy bitch kidnapping me, restraining me, violating me, biting me black and blue, repeatedly stopping me from breathing for over a minute at a time, and even cutting me with a knife and licking up the blood or some shit started to really turn me on. I've not wanted to talk about it with anyone, even my more sexually open friends who also like BDSM, as it makes me a little uneasy to think about; plus, knife play feels like a taboo [even in the BDSM community]...

Despite my unease, I've tried to engage with it (to the limited extent that I can without a partner), tried to accept it for what it is and "make it my own" with some minor degree of success; but just earlier this month, I had a moment where, immediately after climaxing, I was overcome with an intense, awful feeling of intermixed disgust, revulsion, and nausea, and I've been trying to avoid thinking about it since then.

I'm not sure where to go from here. Repression certainly isn't the answer, so I should probably keep trying to engage with it in a measured, constructive way.... I'm reminded of one of the last things my therapist told me, about how I'd likely benefit a lot from "curative experiences", not that those are easy to come by—I've not had any real sexual experiences at all in the last several years, despite a few different relationships / attempts at relationships during that time.

What's more, in the midst of recognizing and internalizing all of this, and especially after the crushing break-up I had last year, despite my best efforts I've found myself becoming increasingly jaundiced toward couples. To be more specific, I keep feeling bitter toward those couples who've managed to sidestep the gauntlet of unjust and grossly disproportionate mistreatment that I and so many others have had to suffer, yet who've ended up in benign, fulfilling relationships nevertheless (sometimes as their very first serious relationship, no less!). I know I should be happy for them, that I should be glad that they've been spared from such misfortune, and I genuinely do want to and try to be happy for them, but part of me always seethes: "Why did I get such a raw deal while they get it so easy?"

In any case, I think this post has gone on for long enough. This was rather difficult for me to write at a few points, so if you've read through until the end despite the length and subject matter, I deeply appreciate it.

[aarspi]

“ Now I know why my heart wasn’t satisfied, It was always you... ”

For a future @4ucomics​ story :3c • Please do not repost. • Follow 4UComics • Tapas • Webtoon

[theangrypokemaniac]

I'll state from the beginning that the images below display the sort of sweet synchronicity to which only love can give life:

MaAndPaShipping is the best ship, and here are five reasons why:

1. It Made James

Like the boy do yer? Ever felt the slightest tingle of warmth at the mention of his name?

Well get down on yer knees and give thanks to his mother and father for gifting him to the world!

Where would we be without their remarkable commitment? Could James have grown into the dandified dream boat of your desires if deprived of the safety provided by his parents?

Had they not brought him up, he'd be dead, The Dog of Flanders fantasy made reality. If miraculously he survived, foraging in the wild is not conducive to a foppish personality.

Is that to yer fancy? No? Then let's have a little respect. The luxury Ma and Pa gave enabled his macaroni tendencies to reach such heights.

Their love created him! How can it not be celebrated?

You lot would ship Jessie's parents but you can't, because she has no dad, and I don't suppose you'll ever assent to his obvious identity of Windy Miller, although 'Jessie Miller' has a wonderful ring to it, so what can be done?

Should a Pa Jess be conjured for the purpose, he still buggered off, didn't he? Where's the allure in a faithless git?

I can't comprehend the obsession with Ma Jess. As soon as here she's stiff, and what is there to remember but coercing her daughter into eating snow?

Hey, I named her. What more do you want from me?

I'd rather have the living, visible ancestors, if you don't mind.

Yeah, says the history fanatic.

Why not make the most of the chances offered, and follow a devoted couple whose love made a difference to your existence?

2. Canon!

There are many ships which I find repulsive for involving depravity, or absurd as the subjects haven't met, or don't inhabit the same fictional universe.

Video et taceo: I see and I say nothing.

Neither does anyone. Forcing decent folk in to incest, bestiality etc. is quite alright.

Perverted ideas are left alone, but woe betide a Rocketshipper, because that's offensive.

It may be the only original ship left standing, with proper evidence and sanctioned by Nintendo, but no, it's fair game for undermining. People pick at your arguments, quibble constantly and NEED to register their objections NOW. You MUST be made aware of opposition. You're not to be permitted your views the way those with twisted tastes are indulged.

Why, out of tens of thousands of combinations, does making Jessie and James an item provoke hostility?

The strength of negativity actually serves as validation, for why be so concerned if it's an impossible relationship?

However sick they are, I'm not anti any ship. I can't muster sufficient interest to do it, and if I scroll on, I forget. I certainly don't attack those responsible.

Anti-Shipping is inherently nihilistic for promoting loneliness. They aren't against Rocketshipping through wanting Jessie and James to be with someone else, as an alternative is not readily available, so the outcome of it is neither finding a companion.

MaAndPaShipping attracts no sourpuss silliness, for 'tis canon beyond question. There's nothing about being 'just friends' when married with a son.

How's the state of your O.T.P.? Not looking too clever I expect, and what's your contribution: wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying?

Cast it off! None of that longing is necessary in these quarters, as MaAndPaShipping is a fait accompli.

Hallelujah! Wallow in that Love!

Don't you yearn for at least one ship that all of us accept by default, to the extent these aristocrats are spoken of as a single unit?

Across the internet, Ma and Pa are bracketed as 'James's parents', never 'he' and 'she', always 'they', barely counting as distinct characters. That's how undeniable the love is between them. Sheer indifference has awarded it a blessing from everyone.

MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Of course, now I've drawn attention to it the moaning will start, but we all know a spoilsport when we see one.

If they had any legitimate complaints they ought to have mentioned 'em before this piece highlighted the marriage!

Except it won't have occurred to 'em previously, proving the eternal, indissoluble quality of MaAndPaShipping.

You get good value with this one.

Find a post referring to Ma and Pa as individuals and I'll have written it, for that's what you call ironic.

3. It's a Fine Rocketshipping Proxy

I was at primary school when Pokémon hit the West like the bright, bearded meteor it is, atomizing all competition for a child's attention.

I have shipped Jessie and James before I knew anyone else did it, unaware shipping was even a thing.

There are other pairs where I think: 'That seems to fit', but it's incomparable to what I feel for them.

It is part of me. I bleed it.

I have shipped it longer than most Tumblerries have dwelt upon the earth.

I used to believe, what with the hints and manga finale, that this resolution was  inevitable, and all I had to do was wait.

Well I've been patient for two decades now, thus when I look at the modern incarnation, and realise it's no nearer to that goal, and instead is further away, waiting starts to wear a bit thin.

I resent the lack of appreciation shown to the fans by the cretins in charge, how any meagre shippy inclusion is done not with an interest in deepening bonds, but with the blatant cynicism of moulding us into performing monkeys dancing to their manipulative tune.

I dislike being treated like a sea lion, expected to clap me flippers at the wave of a fish, or as a panting dog begging at top table, where, because they're desperate to maintain the status quo, every scrap flung down from above now comes with an Anti-Ship kick in the teeth, just to be sure nothing progresses. Not whilst the franchise can still be milked for all it's worth.

I have lost faith Rocketshipping will happen. What passes for Pokémon today carries not the remotest indication of any intention on the so-called writers' part to finish it that way.

Even if it did, it's not my Team Rocket, it's those skeletal, gargoyle bastardisations. My Jessie and James never got the reward they deserved.

I'm somewhat in the market for a replacement. Beneath this loathsome carapace of acid and ice beats the tender heart of a true romantic, and it must have an outlet!

Shipping Ma and Pa provides a certain spurious relief, because it's as close as you can get to Jessie and James without it being them, both biologically as his parents, but they're so similar to the duo it counts as proof in itself.

Holy Matrimony! is prime Rocketshipping territory, not merely the balloon lift, but many slight additions are as important, like the haircuts matching.

Ma and Pa are therefore Jessie and James in the past, present and future:

The past for representing Jess 'n' Jamie gone Victorian, and we've all wondered how that'd turn out.

The present as it's there right now, absent of suffering the shameless whims of morons to get what you want. 'Tis yours to savour.

The future as a glimpse of Jessie and James once married with children, and they agree:

That's how they play it given the opportunity!

What, James in blue, for his and Pa's hair, and Jessie wearing purple, like Ma's, with a red shawl for her own, and Ma Jess's orange earrings to copy the beads?

• Money!

• Bun!

• 'Tache!

• Classy pad!

• Fancy gear!

• Pampered pet!

• Identical cups of Earl Grey!

4. Original Blend

Ma and Pa have only got two fans! We care more than the entire fandom has in twenty years!

Rocketshipping art is ten a penny, so why not display a pioneering spirit, sharpen up those pencils and be inspired?

Let your mind expand and marvel at the possibilities of these unchartered territories, and I'll reblog it if it's nice.

Pay attention to the condition of it being nice. I'm not putting up with any old toss.

Real Ma and Pa is what I want too, not those Sinnoh coffin-dodgers.

It's never been done! Every drawing breaks new ground!

I don't like fan fiction, but I wouldn't say 'no' to that either. Recall the 'nice' stipulation again.

Come on, be the first amongst your friends and get ship shape!

5. It Gives Us All Hope

Suppose your favourite amour one day became canon: you imagine that's the end of the matter?

Well it ain't.

Between Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James, Gary and Tracey, there are three-and-a-half out of fourteen parents (Flint doesn't count as a complete man) and one out of twenty-eight grandparents, and that's not enough!

If the series drew to a close with your beloved couple apparently walking into the happily-ever-after, there's no guarantee it'll endure. In fact, the odds are they'll split up within a few years and leave another generation to fend for themselves or starve.

That's right, so don't presume the final episode is all you need to worry about. Can you rest easy knowing it'll go pear-shaped once the camera stops rolling?

It's futile soothing one's worries with:

Oh, but they know what it's like to be alone. They'd never inflict such stress on their children.

Oh really?

Look at that poor showing of grandparents. Either Pokémon has a system reminiscent of the sci-fi film Logan's Run, where everyone over thirty is vapourized, or these disappearing maters and paters were themselves victims of abandonment.

I bet when they settled down, they thought it'd be different for their kids, they'd make sure of it, but no, off they went down that same route of feckless self-indulgence, and that's being kind assuming they intended not to repeat history.

Depressing eh? What's the good in any of us surrendering to romance, real or otherwise, if love is but a mayfly of emotion, and all dreams are doomed to die?

Then Ma and Pa arrive, and suddenly the storm clouds part for a ray of heavenly light.

It's not only that they made the effort in what was probably an arranged marriage and have stayed together from youth, it's that they've stayed together when no one else has, which augments its value.

When separation is commonplace, sticking it out becomes rarer and rarer as any belief in the sanctity of wedlock erodes with every failure.

If they didn't bother, why should I? What's the use when it won't work?

Once that idea enters your head, it's over, and your gloom-laden attitude fulfils itself.

Society is collapsing about Ma and Pa's ears, but they persevere nevertheless, refusing to buckle under the turgid malaise engulfing the arrogant and weak.

It's bloody beautiful, man!

You may suggest an environment of supreme wealth erases normality, and to their class and time period divorce is still taboo, so they don't really have much of choice but to remain wedded.

Ah, but it's not as if they simply tolerate one another for appearances, or carried on for the sake of their son (which is more than anyone else did besides), not when he walked out on them.

They've been married longer than James has lived, so at least eighteen years (don't all squeal at once), and they're still blissfully contented!

They hold hands!

They use terms of endearment like 'dear' and 'my precious'!

They were made for one another!

They work as a team!

They want the same thing for James!

It could bring a stone angel to tears it's so beautiful!

See what success can be achieved when you try? When you endeavour to love the one you're with and make yourself worth loving in return?

Better that than chucking 'em at the first sign of trouble.

Ma and Pa is such an irrevocable union even the despair of losing their only child failed to tear 'em asunder, and that'd defeat many, but not this husband and wife.

Be grateful, for it means all is not in vain.

It doesn't have to be misery and pain: love can last despite the pressure of a wretched, hollow culture bent on self-destruction. Your ship might just succeed too.

God bless 'em for keeping the magic alive!

...

Why do I have the presentiment that I'm going to regret encouraging support?

[clownao]

A few of you seem to be interested in my OC Mio. So I did this OC fic instead of writing Which Partner... yeah. I have no self control.

***

wasabi

 Mio stared at the huge onigiri laying innocently in front of her.

 Karma’s cacophonous cackles rang through the classroom. “Oy, Hikage, you know you can back out any second now,” he teased her, a wicked smirk on his face.

 “I'm going to eat this,” Mio murmured savagely, glaring daggers at the offending onigiri.

 Mio had been imitating Karma and his mannerisms for fun, but she'd went a bit too overboard and angered Karma. Karma, being the malicious devil he was, challenged Mio to a bet. Mio brashly agreed, and to her severe humiliation, she lost the bet. And now she had had to eat a spiced onigiri filled with wasabi. Technically, she could refuse (read: chicken out), but she didn't want her reputation to be damaged further. And besides, Karma’s smug face was really pissing her off.

 “You deserve this,” Kataoka had just commented when Mio talked about it.

 Nakamura casually leaned against Mio’s desk, observing the onigiri with interest. “Come on, a little wasabi can't bother our ruthless Mio-chan, right?”

 Kimura, one of Mio’s best friends, happened to be watching. Upon seeing a uncharacteristic waver in Mio’s eyes, and the way her hand shook slightly, he began to wonder if the daring Mio was actually afraid of spicy food. After all, he'd never seen her eat anything remotely spicy. She even had some reservations when Kimura offered her his mom’s famous homemade curry.

 So that's how this girl can be defeated… using wasabi.

 “Hikage, don't force yourself if you're not up to it,” Kimura called, unusual worry for his friend bubbling inside him.

 “Oooh,” Karma and Maehara drawled. They had taken up a habit of wolf-whistling every time Kimura and Mio talked, which was seriously annoying Kimura.

 Mio shook her head stubbornly. “Don't worry, Kimura! I will finish this onigiri.” She grabbed a water bottle, and plopped it on her desk with unnecessary force.

 “I. Am. Ready,” Mio announced, face stiffening with determination. Nakamura, Karma, and Maehara clapped boisterously and cheered her on.

 “... If you say so.” Kimura sweatdropped.

 Mio could feel the eyes of the class on her. She’d always been so cool and casual in front of her classmates; she couldn't afford to panic now. Her hand reached out for the onigiri, and gripped it firmly.

 Jeez, that Karma had to make it plus-sized too… and he knows my favourite food is onigiri. He'd gone so far on this personal attack!

 Squeezing her eyes shut, Mio slowly lifted the dreaded onigiri to her mouth. When it was around halfway there, Mio thought “fuck it”, stuffed the onigiri in her mouth, and chomped down. It wasn't like she had anything more to lose.

 “Mio-chan!” Nakamura exclaimed.

 For a single, shining moment, Mio could taste the gorgeous, glutinous grains of rice, which lured her in a false sense of security-

 Then pain abruptly invaded Mio’s senses. She coughed, instinctively whipping the onigiri away. Her tongue was burning and sizzling, and her mouth and eyes watered. Soon, her throat began to feel like it was on fire. She blindly grabbed her water bottle and chugged half of its contents down.

 “Wow…” her classmates gaped, equal parts horrified, amused, and in awe.

 “Gah!” Mio burst out, her tongue dangling out, which made her look like a dog. “The actual fuck-”

 “Language!” Kataoka hollered from the other side of the room.

 “Hikage, you okay?” Maehara approached her and asked.

 “If you can't do it, it's okay too!” Nakamura said.

 “Your face is all red,” Hazama commented idly.

 “Oy!” Kimura barked upon seeing the classmates crowding around his friend. “Give her some space! Hikage, don't do anything stupid!”

 “Ha…” Mio wiped a few tears from her eyes. “Kimura’s finally acting like a police officer… so cool… so full of authority…”

 “Hey, why did you add that ‘finally’?” Kimura cried, eyebrows pinched together. “And I was actually concerned about you!”

 (Kimura usually didn't mind Mio’s jokes, but maybe seeing her so affected by wasabi of all things made Kimura a little touchy. At least he could see the wasabi hadn't killed Mio’s sassy brain.)

 “Eat it slowly, will you? No one wants you to choke and die,” Hazama remarked bluntly.

 Maehara coughed. “Let's kill Korosensei using a wasabi-filled onigiri.”

 “Very encouraging, Hazama-chan.” Mio rolled her eyes. The girl resolved to finish this cursed onigiri as quickly as possible, or else she would prolong her suffering. She took the onigiri again and braced herself for the second assault-

 “I'm going to get some water!” Kimura yelled. He grabbed Mio’s water bottle and zoomed to the water fountain outside. The other students felt a sudden breeze whoosh past them as Kimura dashed away. The panting boy ran back to the classroom, where Mio was furiously chomping rice and wasabi in her mouth. A red flush began to fill her cheeks, and he could see what suspiciously looked like moisture in her eyes.

 “Take it easy, Mio-chan.” Nakamura cheerily wiped the sweat from Mio’s face.

 “You're doing great, and Karma is a douchebag.” Hazama flipped through a book on curses.

 Karma’s mercury eyes were dancing with mischief. “This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't had made so much fun of me,” he drawled.

 Mio snatched the water bottle from Kimura, and drank it as if it was her lifeline (it probably was). The cool liquid ran down her throat, soothing her tingling tongue. “Kimura, you're a lifesaver,” she mumbled after a long drink. “I love you.”

 Even though Kimura knew it didn't mean anything, hearing the words “I love you” still made his heart skip a beat. Which was really weird, because Mio was like a wacky sister to him.

 “I'm sorry I had to make you go through this." Mio sent Kimura an apologetic glance. “It'll hopefully get better from now on.”

 “Sorry to burst your bubble, but it'll probably feel worse and worse until you desperately crave the sweet release of death,” Hazama said. “Just trying to mentally prepare you.”

 Throughout the next ten minutes, Mio did her best to cram the wasabi onigiri down her stomach, while Kimura became a delivery boy, and made countless trips to the water fountain and back to bring cold water. The other students were all yelling and cheering, their voices growing greater with every bite she finished.

 “You're almost done!” Nakamura’s hands tightly gripped Mio’s desk, her baby blue eyes shimmering with anticipation.

 “Not to sound dramatic, but I want to fucking die.” Mio’s speech was slurred due to the intense sensations her tongue was experiencing. She coughed loudly, and every hot breath that escaped her lips was a torture to her mouth. Her tired eyes found the very last piece of onigiri, and she found she had no strength or motivation to move.

 “G-go for it!” Kimura’s red forehead was dotted with beads of sweat, and he solidly placed the water bottle besides Mio. He then bended and placed his palms on his knees.

 Mio felt sorry for Kimura. He didn't have to do so much for her, especially when he wasn’t involved. But she could hardly form a sentence to convey that.

 The class’s cheers crescendoed into a defeating roar as Mio gingerly picked up the mixture of rice and wasabi. Her lips parted and with magical resolve, she put it in her mouth and chewed. After what felt like a century, she swallowed.

 “I… finished?” she muttered, dazed.

 “HOORAY!” Nakamura flung her arms in the air. “Mio-chan! Mio-chan!”

Kimura practically shoved the water bottle in her face. “Drink th-this.”

 Mio’s face was as red as a tomato, and strands of hair were plastered to her sweaty forehead. She gladly took the bottle.

 “I don't want to eat an onigiri ever again,” Mio mumbled. “I'm so done.”

 “But Mio-chan, your favourite food is onigiri!”

 Mio slumped over her desk, red cheeks squishing against the surface. “I've been defeated…” Her voice was unusually soft.

 Maehara and Okajima watched the girl with interest. “Is it just me, but Hikage… without her mean words… looks pretty cute now…”

 That irritated Mio. “Oy, you boys-” she started to say, but broke into a coughing fit. Nakamura thumped on her back with much gusto.

 Kimura himself was hot and tired after all that running. He stumbled to a nearby seat, not caring whose it was.

 “Kimura-chan!”

 Kimura’s head immediately snapped up, because there was only one person he knew that would call him with the suffix “chan”.

 Kurahashi bounded over, a carton of apple juice in her hand. The cute smile on her face was dazzling Kimura.

 “Kimura-chan worked really hard today!” Kurahashi sang. “Here, take this juice to replenish your energy!”

 Kimura’s eyes widened. “E-eh? I-I-I can't d-do that-” he stuttered.

 He was too late, and Kurahashi had already pressed the carton in his hands. “Kimura-chan was really cool just now~~”

 Pink dotted Kimura’s cheeks, and he scratched his head sheepishly. “Ah, really?” the flattered boy laughed.

 As Kimura happily sipped his apple juice, Mio said, “Thanks for helping me, Kimura. You didn't have to do that. It was all my fault.”

 “No problem. What are friends for?” he flashed Mio a grin.

 “Ah, you two must be exhausted.”

 Kimura and Mio tilted their head to see the class mom Hara with a placid smile. She was holding an onigiri.

 The old Mio would've cheered loudly and eaten the onigiri in a view bites, but now she just wanted to vomit.

 “I can't have you hating onigiri for the rest of your life, so I saved one from lunch for you. I guarantee it tastes delicious,” Hara said.

 “... You don't have to…” Mio was so moved, tears began to form in her eyes.

 Hara took out a pair of chopsticks and divided the onigiri in two. “Here, take half too, Kimura. You need it.”

 Kimura and Mio were shocked by Hara’s kindness, but they couldn't refuse.

 “T-thank you, Hara-san,” Kimura looked at her gratefully. He poked Mio in the side. “Hey, say thank you too!”

 “Thank you…”

The class watched as the duo munched on Hara’s onigiri, while Hara petted their heads in a motherly way.

 “This onigiri… is a gift from God,” Mio announced, grains of rice on her face. “It has restored my faith in humanity. Hara, I am forever in your debt. ”

 “Don't talk with your mouth full!” Kataoka reminded.

 Hara just chuckled. “Now, Mio, don't be so risky anymore, okay? People may take revenge, and you may suffer.”

 “Yeah, that's true,” Karma added, but from his facial expression, everyone could see clearly he was still mad at Mio. Mio noticed his look, and glared at him.

 “I'm not forgiving you, red feathered dude,” Mio said icily.

 “Good to know. I'm not forgiving you either.” Karma idly played with his rubber knife, but his bloodlust was obvious.

 “You are playing a very dangerous game here,” Hazama murmured in her ear.

 “Well,” Mio yawned. “That's the cost of having a fun life.”

***

I also filled out the assclass OC fic bingo sheet by @dr-j33 just for fun. I was tempted to add "Nagisa who?" but lmao Nagisa doesn't appear much in my non OC fanfics anyway.