#can't say a single fucking thing about using the word queer without a ton of reblogs

[horce-divorce]

lol. lmao. my parents NEVER interact with my posts on fb, especially when they're ones they SHOULD care about, like stuff that *i* wrote, or stuff that answers questioned they've asked me about in the past. radio fucking silence. I hear nothing from my family since they let us live in the fucking woods, not a peep, not a single "how are you doing, how is Bellamy since he was in the hospital." Nothing for months.

But I repost a graphic that says "it's not your job to fix them. even if they're family" and immediately THAT is the first like my mother given me in about. Six months.

That is NOT a coincidence. She is passive aggressive AND extremely online as fuck. she did that on purpose.

And yeah The thing is, this is NOT the first time I've also posted something ever-so-slightly passive aggressively hoping that she would see it. But it's stuff that would be educational and relevant. I posted the "love your kids! love your kids!!" thing and pinned it, she said nothing. I've shared tons of stuff about how to support trans and queer people, no reshares. I share stuff about disability to my stories daily. I know she sees them, because she did 'like' the post about Bel and I hitting our first year anniversary, and when we still had a car she sent us 30 bucks for repairs or something.

She is extremely on Facebook, all day every day. She SEES the posts.

She KNOWS I posted "you cant fix your family" about her. I'm done fucking trying with my whole family, But primarily her, because she is the one I tried the hardest and the most with for longest, and who disappointed me the absolute most by absolutely and utterly refusing to care. She was great when i was a little, little kid, but as soon as i was developing a real personality and problems she wasn't equipped for (gender dysphoria, disability & mh issues), she was all, "my job here is done, I already did so good! I only signed up for 18 years!" she acts like she doesn't even know who I am now, like im literally a different person since i transitioned. Like she has NO stake in my life whatsoever. She's asked me things about me she KNOWS the answer to, like "idk do you have bad period cramps jimmie?" I HAVE ENDO??? SHE USED TO BE THE ONE CALLING ME OUT OF SCHOOL FOR THOSE???

So yes I posted "you cant fix your family," and yes, she knows it's about her, and she's using that like "like" button like an uno reverse card. Without a single word she just reiterated & reminded me of all the times she threw up her hands and said "I don't know how your life got so fucked up" JUST because I had trauma! WAY before I ever transitioned or was homeless. She said that shit like, right around the time I got sooo so sick and dropped out of college. When I had told her 1 million times what was going on because I was so scared and alone. She "didn't know" how MY life "GOT" so "fucked up."

With one click of a button she managed to say so much with so little. "Oh, you can't fix me? I couldn't fix you either. I tried to fix you and I couldn't make you normal," she said. "I tried to fix you and you didn't WANT that. I tried to fix you but you refused to go to boarding school. I bought you supplements and you didn't take them all. I tried to fix you but it didnt work. Fucking amen, right back at you, kiddo."

I only ever told her i hated her once when I was 10, and I didn't mean it then. At this point, I think I may actually be starting to.

[haintxblue]

This blog is aggressively pro-Queer. You don't have to use the word for yourself. You don't even have to use it for me. I would never force you to use a word you don't like. But this blog is aggressively pro-usage-of-Queer in LGBTQ+ contexts and will continue to be.

Gay was used as a slur against me growing up just as much as queer--more I'd say. Queer scares people because it's fluid and rejects boxes.

Growing up I heard "kill all gays" thrown around as a joke all the time, whereas I heard the word queer less--maybe half the time. There's not a single word we use for ourselves that hasn't been a slur. So maybe there's something uniquely bad about the word queer? Or maybe it's just that queer is uniquely flexible and includes a lot of people who might not have a firm label, and maybe some people have convinced you to think that the word is bad because of that.