#cannot stand wanda stans

[spacefinch]

Incorrect Quotes: Wild Field Trips edition, part 2:

Ralphie: I'm in my mum's car, vroom vroom.

Dr. Tennelli: Get out of me car!

Ralphie: Awww.

Martin: You have entered RADICAL SATURDAY

Aviva: Today's Friday, though.

Martin: IRRELEVANT

Zach: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Gourmand: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Alternatives to “Ladies and gentlemen”:

D.A.: Ladies, gentlemen, and others

Carlos: Ladies and germs

Koki: Beloved friends and tolerated acquaintances

Wanda: Allies, enemies, and those I’m still deciding about

Zach: Fellow scoundrels

Tim: Entities of interest

Jenny: Guys, gals, and non-binary pals

Evan: All y’all

Tim: Folks

Dr. Tennelli: Distinguished guests

Ralphie: Comrades

Martin: My dudes

Chris: A warm welcome to everyone who managed to sneak past the Zachbots

Mikey: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Ronan: Fork

Mikey: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Jimmy: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Mikey: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Keesha: Really? EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting? I find that hard to believe. Stop feeding me these lies.

Chris: Well it was really hard to see if it was everyone, you see they were as fast as lightning.

Carlos: And to be honest, it was a little bit frightening.

Ralphie: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Phoebe: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ralphie: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Dr. Tennelli, about to kick them both out of the kitchen: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Martin: I put my Creaturepod down and now I can't find it.

Chris: Want me to call it?

Martin: It's on silent.

Chris: I'll call it anyway.

*Everyone stands around listening for a faint buzzing sound*

Carlos: I'm going to give raccoons the gift of fire and then teach them ceramics and they will make little bowls with their little hands.

Aviva: You cannot give raccoons that kind of power!

Wanda: The opposite of "the elephant in the room" is "the centipede in the room." Something that's not actually an issue, but everyone's freaking out about.

Chris: As someone who has worked with venomous animals, I can assure you that a centipede in the room is in fact a very big issue.

Gavin: If you have knees, you are valid.

Phoebe: Homophobes have knees, too.

Gavin: Not for long.

Carlos: Who is teaching my dad Zoomer slang?

*earlier*

Mr. Ramon (via text message): What do you think? I totally stan it

Carlos: Stop

Keesha: Stop excluding the B from LGBT. I'm sick of it. British people should be proud of who they are. Screw you.

Zach: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Carlos: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

Katie: I almost dropped my Creaturepod on my soft carpeted floor but thank god I have lightning fast reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.

Wanda: I heard my brother [Henry] say he was going to Dairy Queen, so I snuck in his car and he has no idea I’m here.

Wanda: He asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor and said “I was thinking about a milkshake." I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder.

Carlos: Do not stand near the open fire when you have a tube of cocoa butter in your thigh pocket.

Jenny: This is so oddly specific. What happened?

Carlos: I am confident in your ability to figure it out from the clues provided.

Aidan: You’ve heard of mom friends. Now get ready for: Anti-mom friend. They suggest every single impulsive thought that runs through their head like, "Hey, what if you jumped in that pond in the middle of the night?" to the group while the mom friend begs them to stop.

Phoebe: Eldest sibling friend.

(Both of them look at Carlos)

Keesha: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Martin: Microwave for 40 minutes

Keesha: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Martin: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but we don't have a big enough pot on the Tortuga.

Keesha: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Martin: Microwave for 40 minutes

Carlos: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Phoebe: Are you okay?

Carlos: My cat stole my freakign garlic bread.

Carlos: A theif

DA: Thief?

Carlos: Theif

DA: I before e, except after c

Carlos: Thceif

DA: No

Dr. Skeledon: Children, this is dirt.

Arnold, Carlos, and Phoebe: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Wanda: My mom is asleep, quick reblog this post with skeletons saying bad words.

Phoebe: 💀Tax evasion

Keesha: 💀Gerrymandering

Carlos: 💀Music piracy

Gavin: 💀Rug burn

Mikey: 💀Frick