#cardinal krol

[gracie-bird]

The Philadelphia Enquirer. Philadelphia (PA). July 1976.

[princessgracekelly1956]

ABOVE: IN HOTEL SUITE at The Barclay, the Rev. Joseph B. Graham and Mrs. Rosemary T. Callan give a silver paten to Prince Rainier III and Princess Grace. The plate commemorates the International Eucharistic Congress, which will open in Philadelphia on Aug. 1. Prince Rainier and Princess Grace will participate in the congress.

The Philadelphia Inquirer - July 12, 1976

Princess Grace, Prince Rainier host 300 at Bicentennial salute 

By RUTH SELTZER

Monaco's Sovereign Prince Rainier III and his Philadelphia-born wife, Princess Grace, entertained 300 guests Friday at a cocktail reception at the Philadelphia Country Club in Gladwyne. 

It was Monaco's Bicentennial salute to the United States and Philadelphia. It was a beautiful party. 

Prince Rainier and Princess Grace welcomed guests. They stood in a receiving line with their three children, Princess Caroline, Prince Albert and Princess Stephanie. Princess Grace's brother, Councilman John B. Kelly Jr., was at the head of the line. 

“Doesn't Grace look marvelous!" exclaimed one guest. "She never seems to look a year older!" said another. 

Princess Grace wore a lovely white silk pajama ensemble. 

There was an informality about the party - relaxed and very pleasant. Hors d'oeuvres - hot and cold - were served. A trio played background music. 

We saw Princess Grace and Prince Rainier twice that day. Before going to the country club for the cocktail party, we attended a presentation ceremony in their honor. 

At the ceremony, in a Barclay Hotel suite, the Rev. Joseph B. Graham presented a sterling silver paten - a plate for the eucharistic bread - to Prince Rainier and Princess Grace in recognition of the part they play "in Christian life throughout the world." 

Father Graham is director of institutional services of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. Prince Rainier and Princess Grace will participate in the 41st International Eucharistic Congress, which will open in Philadelphia on Aug. 1. On Aug. 2, Rainier and Grace will keynote the plenary session of an all-day conference on family life. The conference will be held at the Philadelphia Civic Center. 

At Friday's presentation ceremony was Mrs. Rosemary T. Callan, board chairman of the C & B Corp. of Warminster, Bucks County. There, too, were Saul Lapp, president of the firm, and John Neville, who is also an official of C & B. That firm has produced commemorative silver plates (exactly the same as the one given to Prince Rainier and Princess Grace). The plates will be sold (at $300 each) to help underwrite the expenses of the Philadelphia Archdiocese in hosting the Eucharistic Congress here. 

The first plate, number 1, will be presented to Pope Paul VI. It will be accepted in his behalf at the Eucharistic Congress by James Cardinal Knox of Australia, who has been appointed papal legate to the congress. 

Silver plates will also be presented to President Ford, Archbishop Jadot (the apostolic delegate to the United States), and John Cardinal Krol, Archbishop of Philadelphia. 

Cardinal Krol attended Monaco's party Friday at the country club. He arrived at the same time that we did. For several minutes, Cardinal Krol chatted with Princess Grace and Prince Rainier. 

Mr. and Mrs. Richard C. Bond were at the party. He is board chairman of Philadelphia ‘76 Inc., the city's Bicentennial agency. There, too, were City Representative Albert V. Gaudiosi and his wife, Cecelia; Deputy City Representative Anna Marie O'Brien and her husband, John T. O'Brien; William L. Rafsky (executive director of Philadelphia ‘76 Inc.) and his wife, Selma. 

Princess Grace's mother, Mrs. John B. Kelly, was at the party. So were Grace's sisters, Mrs. Donald Caldwell LeVine and Mrs. Margaret Kelly Conlan. We talked with Mrs. LeVine (Lizanne) and her husband, Don. 

Several of Princess Grace's cousins were there. Mrs. E. Shirley Turner came up from Middleburg, Va., for the party. She is Grace's cousin, Jean. 

Princess Grace's cousin, John Lehman, and his wife, Barbara, flew up from Washington for the party. He is deputy director of the U. S. Arms Control and Disarmament Agency. 

Mayor and Mrs. Frank L. Rizzo were invited, as were Gov. and Mrs. Milton J. Shapp. They sent regrets. 

At the party, we said hello to Fire Commissioner Joseph Rizzo and his wife, Marge (the mayor's brother and sister-in-law). Police Commissioner Joseph F. O'Neill and his wife, Eleanor, were there. 

Curtis P. Laupheimer, who is Monaco's consul in Philadelphia, and his wife, Betty greeted guests. So did Alfred J. Laupheimer Jr. and his wife, Jenny. Alfred and Curtis are brothers. Alfred, who now lives in Delray Beach, Fla., is Monaco's consul in Florida. 

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph S. Rambo were at the party. Mrs. Rambo (Maree) was Princess Grace's bridesmaid. The wedding in Monaco took place in April 1956. Three months before the wedding, the engagement of Miss Grace Kelly to Prince Rainier III was announced at a luncheon given by her parents, Mrs. John B. Kelly and the late Mr. Kelly, at the Philadelphia Country Club. 

At Friday's party, in the same clubhouse, were Trenton banker Mary G. Roebling; Wanamaker president Robert Drew Harrison and Mrs. Harrison; William S. Cashel (president of Bell Telephone Company of Pennsylvania) and Mrs. Cashel; G. Morris Dorrance (board chairman of Philadelphia National Bank) and Mrs. Dorrance; Thacher Longstreth (president of the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce) and Mrs. Longstreth; Atlantic City Race Track president Robert P. Levy and Mrs. Levy; Philadelphia's City Council president George X. Schwartz and Mrs. Schwartz; Wilmington's Mayor Thomas C. Maloney and Mrs. Maloney. 

The Rev. Dr. Leon Sullivan and Mrs. Sullivan were there. So were British Consul-General and Mrs. Denis Richards; Mr. and Mrs. George J. Hauptfuhrer Jr., Jules Lavin; Mrs. William T. Coleman Jr. (wife of the U. S. Secretary of Transportation) and her son, Bill; Mrs. Richard S. Schweiker (wife of the U. S. senator) and her son, Malcolm; Lennox Moak (the city's budget director) and his wife, Helen; U. S. District Judge and Mrs. A. Leon Higginbotham; U. S. District Judge and Mrs. John Morgan Davis; Mrs. Russell Austin; Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Farmer; Mr. and Mrs. John M. Seabrook; Tom Foglietta; Lt. Gen. and Mrs. Willard Pearson; Hillel Levinson (managing director of Philadelphia) and his bride, Caryl; Rear Adm. Wycliffe Toole Jr. (commandant of the Fourth Naval District) and Mrs. Toole; Mr. and Mrs. John Gribbel 2d; and Mr. and Mrs. James A. Nolen Jr. 

Wharton Shober, president of Hahnemann Medical College and Hospital, was at the cocktail party. Earlier in the day, Mr. Shober gave a luncheon in Hahnemann's executive suite. Prince Albert, who is now 18, arrived with his uncle, Councilman Kelly. The luncheon, which we attended, was in honor of the U. S. Equestrian Team, on the eve of the team's departure for the 1976 Olympic Games. Prince Albert, heir to the throne of Monaco, presented a commemorative scroll to the team. The scroll, given on behalf of Hahnemann, was accepted by Jack LaGoff, the team's coach. 

Last week in Philadelphia was summed up best by Marie Cashel, wife of the president of Bell Tel. Said she: "On Sunday, we went to a luncheon for the President of the United States. On Tuesday, we went to a dinner for the Queen of England. Today we are at a cocktail party given by the Prince and Princess of Monaco. Tomorrow, we'll get back to work in our garden."

[twins2994]

Minnesota Twins-Milwaukee Brewers Series Preview

8.13.19-Martin Perez LHP (8-5) 4.80 ERA Vs. Chase Anderson RHP (5-2) 3.70 ERA

8.14.19-Kyle Gibson RHP (11-5) 4.24 ERA Vs. Gio Gonzalez LHP (2-1) 3.20 ERA

The Twins At A Glance- The Twins started out their ten-game homestand with four straight wins. Since then, they went (1-5) and the Indians have taken over first place by half a game with a win over the Red Sox last night. The Twins now have a tough two-game series with the Brewers before the schedule lightens up with the likes of the Rangers, White Sox, and Tigers. The Twins heard good news on Nelson Cruz, who hurt his wrist last Thursday. He doesn’t need surgery and will likely be back after his ten-day injured list stint is up. Sam Dyson played catch on Friday and Saturday and threw a bullpen session on Sunday. He will likely be activated on Tuesday. The Twins signed an old friend in Ryan O’Rourke to a minor league deal. He will join the Rochester Red Wings and replaces Ian Krol as a lefty specialist. Michael Pineda is getting close to returning from the injured list as well. Luis Arraez hit 5-for-13 with four RBI’s in the Indians series. Marwin Gonzalez went 6-for-15 with a homer and three RBI’s against Cleveland. The Twins bullpen should be well rested after having Monday off. Taylor Rogers did throw 51 pitches on Saturday and Sunday, so maybe the Twins want to stay away from him on Tuesday night. Everyone else should be good to go for this series. 

The Brewers At A Glance- The Milwaukee Brewers are in the thick on the National League Wild-Card race. They are half a game behind the Cardinals for the second Wild-Card spot. Milwaukee has won five of their last six games and lost a tough 1-0 game on Sunday to the Texas Rangers. Since we last saw the Brewers, they have traded for Jordan Lyles, Drew Pomeranz, and Jake Faria. Christian Yelich is still having an MVP caliber season. He is hitting .335 with thirty-nine homers and eighty-four RBI’s. He has been dealing with a back issue lately and has been out of the lineup. He should be back for Tuesday’s game. Mike Moustakas is having a solid year with 27 homers and 63 RBI’s. The Brewers traded Jesus Aguilar to the Rays. The Brewers have had a good rotation this year. Zach Davies owns a 3.74 ERA, Brandon Woodruff has a 3.75 ERA, Chase Anderson has a 3.70 ERA, and Gio Gonzalez has been a welcome addition with a 3.20 ERA in ten starts. The bullpen starts and ends with Josh Hader. He has 102 strikeouts in 55 1/3 innings. Matt Albers, Junior Guerra, and Jeremy Jeffress help set him up. The bullpen isn’t as strong as it was last year hence the trades the Brewers made at the deadline. 

What To Watch For- The Twins and Brewers split a two-game set at Target Field over Memorial Day weekend. The Brewers went (5-1) against the Twins last season and Milwaukee took all three games at Miller Park during 4th of July week. Martin Perez allowed eight runs in 6 2/3 innings in his only career start against the Brewers. Chase Anderson is (0-1) with a 3.97 ERA in two career starts against the Twins. Kyle Gibson is (1-2) with a 5.70 ERA in five starts versus the Brewers. Mike Moustakas has a .314 average against Gibson. Gio Gonzalez is (3-3) 6.56 ERA in nine career starts against the Twins. This should be the last tough games for awhile for the Twins. They face the Rangers, White Sox and Tigers in their next seventeen games following this series. 

-Chris Kreibich-

[hasty-touch]

Not FFXIV but last night I watched a movie that was basically Rosaire: La Reine et le Cardinal (2009), set in the French royal court from 1642-1661 and centered around Cardinal Mazarin and Anne of Austria.

La Reine et le Cardinal (English title The Queen and the Cardinal) is a two-part French TV movie that follows the career of Cardinal Mazarin, successor to the infamous Cardinal Richelieu, as Chief Minister of France. Louis XIII soon dies and his widow, the controversial Queen Anne, becomes Regent for the five-year-old Louis XIV in a court full of treachery and intrigue. The Queen chooses to trust Mazarin and together they weather the turbulent years of the Fronde, subdue the nobility and set the young Louis on the path to becoming the Sun King.

The (historically rumored but not confirmed) romance between the sly, intensely ambitious yet gentle and courteous Mazarin and the passionate, proud, self-sacrificing Queen is at the center of the film, but it’s just as much if not more about politics. In fact I’d say that a major theme is how much personal feelings are driven by politics and, equally, politics are driven by personal feelings in the 17th century French court. It moves very fast and there are many pieces on the chessboard, so it helped to glance over some Wikipedia articles beforehand to follow the story, but I greatly enjoyed it.

Obviously a big part of that for me was the characterization of Mazarin (played by Philippe Torreton). As Infamous Three Musketeers Villain Cardinal Richelieu’s successor, he immediately understands the tenuousness of his position, as Richelieu’s violent authoritarianism had alienated courtiers, Parlement, and the public alike. Mazarin takes a different path, using charm, courtesy, and the appearance of gentleness to assuage his enemies while manipulating them through alliances, rivalries, and coin. The film portrays him complexly: Mazarin is deceitful, greedy, and ruthlessly ambitious, yet not fully cold-hearted -- he is soft-mannered, thoughtful, and intensely and faithfully loyal to the King and Queen, he loves his family, and he clutches on to power because he believes he is needed to build and protect a strong and centralized State.

SO MANY ROSAIRE TROPES, and also expressions.

LOOK AT EM.

And also quotes.

I also quite liked Queen Anne (played by Alessandra Martines). And while I enjoyed that the central romance was between two people already middle-aged at the start of the film, there are also lots of beautiful young men and women embroiled in erotic intrigues if you’re into that, and Part 2 spends a lot of time on the romance between Louis XIV (Cyril Descours) and Mazarin's niece Marie Mancini (Carla Buttarazzi, who looks shockingly like Marie’s portait.)

If you’re interested in checking it out, it is currently included with Amazon Prime Video or can be watched completely free with Hoopla, a video streaming service you can access with a library card. Content note for vomit, icky skin conditions, explicit sex, and slight gore (unsanitized swordfighting).

You might also like to check out its frockflicks review!

[junker-town]

The baseball managers who’ve been kicked out of both halves of a doubleheader

Photo by Ron Vesely/MLB Photos via Getty Images

Featuring Earl Weaver and Mel Ott

I like watching people get thrown out of places, especially if they really deserve it. There’s sort of a special thrill in seeing a jerk who’s causing a ruckus get the old heave-ho, isn’t there? Haven’t you experienced the satisfaction of cheering while somebody who’s totally asking for it gets escorted from the premises? It’s both schadenfruede and relief, a potent mix.

This is why baseball ejections are so good. Sure, every sport gives the officials some sort of authority to boot someone for acting up or doing something dangerous. But baseball ejections are special, particularly when it’s a manager getting thrown. The theatrics are incredible: the manager stomping out of the dugout, ready to defend his team, making his way to the umpire, getting on his toes so he can get over the chest protector and scream in the umpire’s face until the umpire winds up like he’s physically throwing the guy out and points to the clubhouse, spit everywhere, the whole crowd going nuts … I love all of it. It’s like professional wrestling. Every now and then you’ll get a spicy one where some dirt gets kicked up or the first base bag gets hoisted off the field.

And with baseball in the unique position of having regular-ish double-headers throughout the season, it would stand to reason that, on occasion, a particularly riled-up manager or player would be thrown out of not just one but both games of the day. And reason would be right! The double ejection has indeed happened a bunch!

According to a wonderful short paper on the history of ejections by the late baseball researcher David Vincent, published by Retrosheet.org in 2017, five players have done it, and nine or ten managers. I say “or ten” because although Mr. Vincent has Fred Tenney listed as the first to have done it, as a player/manager for the Boston Rustlers back on September 4th, 1911. one newspaper from the next day only reports that Tenney was ejected in the first of the two games. The New York Times, however, does note he was chased twice:

The New York Times, Sep 5, 1911

The McGraw mentioned here is John McGraw, an OG Angry Manager who once stood his ground for so long after an ejection that his team forfeited the game. So trust me, this joke killed back in 1911!

From 1924 to 1946 in the NL, and from 1907 to 1952 in the AL, if a player or manager was ejected from the first game of a double header, they were automatically ejected from the second as well. After that rule was lifted in the NL, New York Giants manager Mel Ott got right to work, getting himself ejected twice on June 9th, 1946. In the first game, Mel wasn’t crazy about a call by base umpire Tom Dunn, and made his displeasure known by “kicking at” Dunn on the field. Newspapers the next day ran a perfectly-timed photo that captured the moment, an image I’m certain would have been a meme by end of day if Twitter existed in 1946:

Daily News, Jun 10, 1946

See what I mean? What an incredible tableau. With a different caption, that’s a Far Side cartoon.

Likely running hot from his encounter with Dunn, Ott got himself tossed again in the second by going after umpire George Magerkurth. Ott’s boys had his back this time and the Giants’ bench got in Magerkurth’s face so fiercely that he turned around and instantly sent eight more Giants players to the clubhouse with one god-like wave of his finger. More than a couple newspapers gleefully noted that Ott was “the first” manager to earn the distinction of getting thrown out of both games of a double header, adding more confusion as to who actually got there first, Tenney or Ott.

Here’s the full list of doubleheader double ejections:

Sep. 4, 1911: Fred Tenney (Boston Braves)

Jun. 9, 1946: Mel Ott (New York Giants)

Jul. 27, 1946: Frankie Frisch (Pittsburgh Pirates)

Jun. 6, 1954: Jimmy Dykes (Baltimore Orioles)

Aug. 3, 1958: Paul Richards (Baltimore Orioles)

Jul. 21, 1963: Walter Alston (Los Angeles Dodgers)

Aug. 4, 1963: Johnny Keane (St. Louis Cardinals)

Jul. 14, 1974: Billy Martin (Texas Rangers)

Aug 15, 1975: Earl Weaver (Baltimore Orioles)

Aug. 29, 1985: Earl Weaver (Baltimore Orioles)

As you can see Earl Weaver is the only manager to appear on the list more than once, in a surprise to nobody who’s seen his delightfully expletive-laden rants on YouTube. Weaver’s antics have helped the Orioles to a record total of four double ejections, with no other team managing more than one.

Vincent’s paper isn’t just about ejection in both halves of a doubleheader. It also has a ton of other great ejection trivia. For instance, there’s this:

The most ejections in one day occurred on August 12, 1984, when 18 different people were ejected. Jim McKean threw out Orioles manager Joe Altobelli that day for arguing a fair/foul call. The other 17 came in the game between the Braves and Padres in Atlanta on that Sunday afternoon. The two teams participated in a bean ball war which saw both managers (Dick Williams and Joe Torre), two Padres coaches (Jack Krol and Ozzie Virgil Sr.), 4 Braves players and 9 Padres players tossed from the contest.

What a cornucopia of delight! I likely would have left that game at that point, knowing it wasn’t going to get much better than that. Managers, get thrown out more! Baseball needs you! We need you!

[richardnixonlibrary]

#DeckTheHalls and #OTD 12/17/1972 President and Mrs. Nixon with former First Lady Mamie Eisenhower and Cardinal John Krol, President of the U.S. Conference of Bishops, in the doorway to the White House Blue Room. (Image: WHPO-D1123-017)

[kacydeneen]

Pa. Dioceses Outline Child Sex Abuse Victim Funds

The Archdiocese of Philadelphia said Thursday that it would pay financial reparations to victims of clergy sex abuse, even from years ago.

The Independent Reconciliation and Reparations effort will be funded by the archdiocese, which said it was not sure how much money would be required but that the financial commitment was "significant."

100s of 'Predator Priests' Lured Young Victims: Grand Jury

The archdiocese also announced the creation of an independent commission to review church policies, led by former U.S. Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell.

Archbishop Charles Chaput made the announcement in his weekly column Thursday. The dioceses of Harrisburg, Scranton and Allentown also announced similar programs Thursday; the Erie Diocese said it would set up a fund, but it didn't disclose any details.

'Shame and Sorrow': Vatican Responds to Pa. Sex Abuse Scandal

"The damage done to innocent young people and their families by sexual abuse in the past is profound," Chaput wrote. "It can’t be erased by apologies, no matter how sincere. And money can’t buy back a wounded person’s wholeness. But what compensation can do is acknowledge the evil done and meaningfully assist survivors as they work to find greater peace in their lives."

Chaput stressed that money for the reparations would not come from donations to Catholic Charities, seminaries or donations made to parishes, ministries, and schools.

Young Catholics Urge Vatican to Issue Inclusive LGBT Message

The money may come from selling off church properties, Chaput said.

The abuse survivor's group SNAP said that other dioceses, including New York City, "feeling the heat" have started similar compensation programs.

But a spokesman questioned whether the program would be transparent.

Instead, the goal of some reparation programs is "to keep the secrets, secrets” and to "help stall legislative reform," said David G. Clohessy, director of the St. Louis chapter of Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priest. 

“Victims deserve the opportunity for relatively faster settlements, if they want it, but victims also deserve the right to go to court,” Clohessy said.

The Independent Reconciliation and Reparations program is also independent from survivor assistance efforts of the archdiocese’s Office of Child and Youth Protection, which has already paid out $18 million to victims. And it's separate from any legal settlements that the church may be ordered to make.

The confidential compensation will be determined by independent claim administrators, Chaput said. Lynn Shiner, who has served as director of the Pennsylvania Office of Victims’ Services, will represent victims as the program's victim support facilitator.

"The program is designed to help survivors come forward in an atmosphere where they are secure and respected, without the uncertainty, conflict and stress of litigation,” Chaput said.

The archdiocese consulted with violent crime survivors and advocates to form the program, Chaput said.

The announcement comes months after a scathing Pennsylvania grand jury report exposed hundreds of instances of clergy abuse across the rest of Pennsylvania.

Philadelphia’s church had already been the focus of a 2005 grand jury report on clergy sexual abuse, which found former cardinals John Krol and Anthony Bevilacqua were involved in the cover-up of a sex scandal against accused priests throughout the archdiocese.

Another grand jury report in 2011 made new charges against priests still serving in the archdiocese.

In 2012, Philadelphia Monsignor William Lynn became the first Catholic church official to be convicted in the country of covering up sex abuse among priests in his charge.

Back in September, Chaput pledged to compensate sexual abuse survivors, he noted in his latest column.

“I deeply regret the pain that so many victims carry from the experience of sex abuse,” he said. “I hope this program will bring them a measure of peace.”

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

will come from our Catholic Charities Appeal, Seminary Appeal, other donor-designated funds or donations made to parishes, ministries, and schools.

Photo Credit: NBC10 Pa. Dioceses Outline Child Sex Abuse Victim Funds published first on Miami News

[foggysaladbanana]

Israel: John Cardinal Krol and the Cultural Revolution

[junker-town]

The greatest and most disappointing Players Weekend nicknames, ranked

Some players hit the nail on the head, and some completely failed at this exercise.

Now that MLB’s Players Weekend jerseys and hats have officially been revealed in advance of the end-of-August celebration, it’s time to start judging people. Lightly, of course, but judging is happening nonetheless.

We’ve already called out the players who decided not to use a nickname at all, since they clearly hate fun. (It’s also possible that the league refused to approve their nickname requests for one reason or the other, but let’s just go with “hates fun” for right now.)

So this is the time to look through the entirety of the league’s nicknames and see who really stepped up to the plate here (baseball puns!) and who struck out looking. Below, the greatest and most awful nicknames from around baseball based on no real rankings system and put in whatever order I thought to put them in while writing this.

Look, it’s only fair that the effort for this post matched the level of the effort players put in choosing their nicknames.

10 Greatest

Carl’s Jr - Carl Edwards Jr. (Cubs)

Edwards Jr. is the only player in the league that was allowed to put a brand name on the back of his jersey. The policy makes sense in that the league can’t have players compromising their sponsorship deals with other companies that could conflict.

If there was one exception that the league was going to make (seeing as they had to approve all of them) we’re glad it was this one.

Who? - Hu (Rays)

This evokes “Who’s On First?” in a big way, which is fun. Too bad Hu is a pitcher and doesn’t actually play first base. It’s a nice joke about the homonymic nature of his name, and hopefully the announcers take advantage of the weekend to make a lot of puns in the booth.

Corey’s Brother - Kyle Seager (Mariners)

Not only did Kyle Seager mock his own relative obscurity when compared to his brother, but he also insulted his sibling in the process of explaining the decision to put his name on his back.

Seager said, in regards to Corey not picking a nickname for the weekend at all,

“He’s boring. You’ve got to do better than that. If you’re going to play that good then you gotta do something.”

For Players Weekend, Kyle is the better Seager sibling. You did this to yourself Corey.

Beef - Welington Castillo (Orioles)

Get it? Like Beef Wellington? Because his name is Welington? He loses a few fake points here because it was already his nickname but it’s a great nickname that makes us laugh so it belongs in the Top 10.

Tokki 2 - Joey Votto (Reds)

Votto’s jersey matches that of the Rangers’ Shin-Soo Choo, who will have “Tokki 1” on his back. You can read the full story of why these two players chose the nicknames they did over at Red Reporter, but if for some reason you don’t have time to make the extra click (just make the extra click) it’s a story of teammate bonding from years ago that has endured until now. Aw, heartwarming teammate friendships are the best.

오승환 - Seung-hwan Oh (Cardinals)

Oh getting to use his native language and put Korean symbols on the back of his jersey is super cool and not something that can happen usually in the league. This is the perfect example of a player not choosing a nickname, but instead using the Players Weekend opportunity to do something unique on the field.

PTBNL - Josh Phegley (A’s)

This is so beautiful. Phegley, who fits the bill of a Player to Be Named Later perfectly as a backup catcher who came to Oakland as a throwaway player in a trade, isn’t afraid to poke fun at himself here and in the process has one of the best nickname jerseys of the weekend. Way to commit, Josh.

Pickles - Sonny Gray (Yankees)

Why did Sonny Gray choose Pickles for his nickname? Nobody seems to know. That makes it better though, as he either just decided that his own nickname was going to be Pickles starting right now or there’s a really good story behind it. Gray just got to New York, way to make an impression.

Knapp Time- Andrew Knapp (Phillies)

If Andrew Knapp’s nickname of “Knapp Time” stems from a situation where he once put someone to sleep in a high school brawl or something, that would be awesome. As it stands, it’s pretty awesome anyway. When your last name works as well as his does for a quick pun, it’s hard not to just go with the obvious choice.

Brotato - Brad Hand (Padres)

This could have gone poorly, but it’s just on the right side of silly frat bro that it works. Brotato is fun to say, and evokes a character from Dazed and Confused or American Pie. Silly? Yes. But the point of the weekend is to be silly for the most part. If Hand wants to let his bro flag fly than more power to him.

10 Most Awful

Just Blaze - Michael Blazek (Brewers)

What? Oh god no. Where Brotato worked in a goofy, innocent frat bro way this one sees that line in the sand and catapults over it without looking back. It’s too obvious a pun (we get it, your nickname is Blazek) and while he’s probably been using that nickname since he was a teenager there definitely could have been more creativity put into this one.

Speedpass - Steve Cishek (Rays)

Why? Just why?

Tommy Two Towel - Tommy Hunter (Rays)

This sounds like Hunter desperately wants to be a part of a Goodfellas remake but couldn’t think of anything better. If he did get cast in such a film, any character with this moniker would absolutely be the first one to tell everyone about a heist and get shot because of it.

King Krol - Ian Krol (Braves)

King K Rool would have been a cool alternative here. Alas, this nickname just reminds me of this scene from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.

Fist - Doug Fister (Red Sox)

Fist is just a nickname we’re really about to let happen? Really? Combined with Chris “Stickman” Sale on the same team, and the Red Sox are really cornering the Are You Sure About That One? market.

Mamba - Jonathan Schoop (Orioles)

There’s only one Mamba. One of his teammates should have told him that before he submitted this as his choice.

All Rise - Aaron Judge (Yankees)

There are better judge puns out there Aaron, and you know it. Fans have been yelling them at you all year. You couldn’t have done “Your Honor” or “...Jury, Executioner” or “Dredd”? There were so many other options, and Judge picked the weakest of the many that he had to choose from. He’s being held in contempt for this one.

TK - Ty Kelly (Phillies)

Not only is this just Kelly’s initials, but it also makes it look like he forgot to put a detail in and is waiting for his newspaper editor to fill things in for him.

B-Craw - Brandon Crawford (Giants)

This not only is too simple a nickname, and something that any decent high schooler could come up with for a friend, it also sounds like the nickname for someone who owns a roadside gas station/crawfish shack somewhere. And I wouldn’t trust Brandon Crawford around seafood.

CT3 - Chris Taylor (Dodgers)

This is just too easy. We get it. Your first name starts with C, your last name starts with T, and you wear number 3. Way to be creative. It also doesn’t even get “roll off the tongue” points because Chris Paul’s CP3 nickname is one letter off and he got there first.

[junker-town]

These 58 MLB players won't have a nickname on their jerseys because they hate fun

These players didn’t show the minimum effort for coming up with a nickname.

Not every player in MLB decided to wear a nickname on the back of their jersey the weekend of August 25. Don’t worry, though, as we’re here to point out the nicknameless, team by team, so we can collectively wonder why they are like this.

To save you from having to count: 58 players skipped nicknames for Players Weekend. Well, maybe 59. That one is a judgment call.

Red Sox: Everyone has a nickname, you’re off the hook, Boston

Yankees: Brett Gardner went with “Gardner” which, you know, is what is usually on his jersey during road games.

Rays: Corey Dickerson, I get it, your nickname using “Dick” probably was rejected by MLB. I don’t know what Austin Pruitt and Taylor Featherston’s excuses are.

Orioles: Seth Smith, what are you doing, your last name is literally “Smith.” Ruben Tejada will look like a real rube with his real name on his jersey. Wade Miley, Dylan Bundy, Richard Bleier, Donnie Hart, Miguel Castro, and Mark Trumbo: who hurt you?

Blue Jays: Only Steve Pearce stuck with his actual name. We’re disappointed, but maybe you haven’t fully shed your true Orioles’ nature yet.

Indians: Jose Ramirez went with “Ramirez” so I’m not even going to bother coming up with a joke.

Royals: Ian Kennedy and Mike Minor are disappointments here, but at least two Kansas City players made it so their jerseys combine to say “Sledge Hammer.”

Twins: You knew Joe Mauer wouldn’t have a nickname: nicknames are too flashy for him. Ryan Pressly missed an opportunity to make sure no one confuses him with Alex Presly. If the jerseys had been presented differently, we would have gotten a “Buddy Rogers” combo, so I’m docking points for that missed opportunity.

Tigers: Congrats to the Tigers on being the second team all nicknamed up, and to Alex Presly for differentiating himself from Ryan Pressly.

White Sox: And the White Sox make it three teams we’re not mad at.

Astros: You just knew the Captain of the Fun Police, Brian McCann, wouldn’t have a nickname. Maybe he’s been a bad influence on George Springer and Dallas Keuchel.

Mariners: Ben Gamel definitely should have had a nickname, because I assumed he was Mat Gamel. Mike Zunino, you’ve got a Z in your name, like, Z Man is right there if you’re lazy as heck. Just pretend!

Angels: I was afraid Mike Trout would lack a nickname, but he’s got one, so the Angels are in the clear.

Rangers: Nicknames all around.

Athletics: Whether the A’s all have nicknames or not depends on how you feel about Jed Lowrie changing the back of his jersey to “Jed.”

Nationals: The number of players without nicknames on the Nats and the number of times they’ve advanced past the NLDS is the same number.

Marlins: The Marlins all rose to the challenge and have nicknames.

Braves: See previous joke about not getting a dick-based nickname through MLB for R.A. Dickey. What? There are 30 teams and more than one dick. Luke Jackson somehow didn’t come up with a nickname on a team that has “King Krol” on it, so that decisions looks even worse in retrospect.

Mets: The Mets all have nicknames, and management didn’t even force them to all make said nickname “Tebow” for merchandising purposes, either.

Phillies: Aaron Nola, Daniel Nava, Nick Pivetta, and Cameron Perkins... you are all disappointments to me.

Cubs: Jon Lester developed some power since coming to the Cubs, but apparently not a sense of humor. Tommy La Stella is also guilty of this, but it’s almost made up for by Carl Edwards Jr. going by “Carl’s Jr.”

Brewers: The Brewers not only have nicknames, but Eric Thames went with a Korean one, “Sang Namja.”

Cardinals: Paul DeJong, Carson Kelly, Matthew Bowman, Greg Garcia, Lance Lynn, Jedd Gyorko, Zach Duke, and Brett Cecil: congratulations on tying the Orioles for the most players without a nickname.

Pirates: For a bunch of sea-based outlaws, the Pirates did a good job following the rules.

Reds: Bronson Arroyo has “Free Love” on his jersey, which is not a nickname so much as an advertisement that’s giving me a twitch. Otherwise everything here is on the up and up.

Dodgers: Corey Seager, how are you going to have no nickname when Kyle Seager put “Corey’s Brother” on his jersey? Scott Kazmir was similarly boring, as was Josh Fields.

Diamondbacks: Zack Greinke should have used an old World of Warcraft character name of his or something.

Rockies: Greg Holland gave us nothing, which is extra disappointing for a closer. Maybe Pat Neshek getting traded at the deadline held up jersey production for him. Pat Valaika, smh.

Padres: They could all be nicknames as far as you know, but I’ve double-checked. Wil Myers, Carlos Asuaje, Matt Szczur, Hector Sanchez, Miguel Diaz, Clayton Richard, and Jarred Cosart are the disappointments in San Diego. One shy of tying the Cards and O’s for the most.

Giants: Joe Panik, Josh Osich, Conor Gillaspie, Corey Gearrin, and Brandon Belt should all be shamed for their lack of nicknames.