#caveat: if it's a sex thing i will kill u

[kotoyin]

hands you permission to do a funny funny magic anon

[idolkilling]

THIS BLOG IS 21+ ONLY FOR OCCASIONAL SEX, VIOLENCE, & “DEAD DOVE” THEMES.  All depictions of crime or taboo are for fictional character exploration and not endorsed in real life.  Please read my carrd before you follow.  Last updated 08/2024. twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se @killshopdeluxe — misc/reblogs

Hi I’m Kill !  Fibromyalgia having broke ass OC drawer and writer… welcome 2 my twisted mind (mostly shitposts and gay ikemen).  I love RP and OC interacts, so feel free to toss your OCs at mine any time!

More info + taglist below 🕺🏻✨

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🚕 SOCIALS

This is a sideblog.  I generally follow and send asks from @idolkilling-alt, but may use a different primary depending on what you post—I curate my dashboards by subject matter, and idolkilling’s is focused on OCs!  That said, feel free to engage regardless of what sort of blog you run; I love to chat! :D

@killshopdeluxe is where I will mostly be reblogging things (OC-related, misc, and fandom) and making personal text posts, to keep this blog organised!

If you know me from my previous kink-focused blogs—I’ll remake them! Just give me some time to set up ^^

My other socials are listed above, but I’ll go into depth here as well!

twitter — I tend to only post my art/writing or RT friends’ works on main, but if we interact a lot (off-anon, naturally), you can request to follow my personal and doodle alt !  I’m always yapping there 🫡

ao3 — Where my polished writing is hosted!  It takes me a long ass time to complete fics or edit RPs though, so I’ll share WIPs/unrefined pieces on this blog.

toyhou.se — My list of active OCs!  I try to keep their profiles short and sweet, so please ask me about any of them you’re curious about!

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⚠️ MY WORKS: TERMS OF USE

DO NOT repost my original work to any site, inclusive of using my art as an icon, banner, or background without express permission.

DO NOT use my works as reference material, inclusive of tracing my art, studying my style, or taking heavy inspiration from the designs or stories of my OCs.  I am a small hobby creator, not a big IP, so people piggybacking off my works to make their own—especially with the intent to publish or monetise—is hurtful (and has already happened several times).  TT

DO NOT tag my OCs as your own characters or use them as references/RP claims.

Any media IP fanworks I make can be reposted ¹ or used without permission, as long as I am credited with a link back to one of my socials.  That said, if I have already posted the art or writing to the intended site (eg. Twitter, Tumblr), please just boost my original post.

¹ caveat: Please do not post my art onto TikTok 🙁

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💫 INTERACTING

Fanworks of any kind featuring my OCs are welcome—and feel free to have them interacting with your own characters! If you make anything, please @ me and tag #idolkilling!  This part is optional, but feel free to also tag the full names of the OC/s depicted (written below in the “TAGLIST” section) ^^  If I miss your post, please PM!

PMs are currently unavailable for this blog, so please use @idolkilling-alt or my Twitter if you want to message me privately (though I’m not very good at one-on-one conversations ahaha). Alternatively, feel free to invite me to your (dark fiction-friendly) group Discord servers, or join one of my own!

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🪐 TAGLIST

It should be noted that I will not usually tag specific warnings for sensitive content, nor will I use Tumblr’s built-in censor/blur.  While the majority of my works on this blog are fairly tame, please beware of occasional (untagged):

violence, gore, body horror, and other grotesque imagery

depictions of abuse or other toxic/taboo dynamics

suggestive or outright sexual imagery, often featuring RACK or monsterkink

For the most part, my “dead dove” works are on the subtler side, but it is there!  If I feel like anything is darker than usual I’ll tag #dead dove: do not eat, in case anyone wants to mute such content.

Personal

#🌻kill.txt ｜ #🌻kill.abt — personal posts and info

#🪻blog.new ｜ #🪻blog.abt — blog updates and info

Content Archival

#📧OC Q&A — general trivia on my OCs, as well as ask responses

#📁MY OUS/AUS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OUS/AUS ｜ #📁MEDIA IPS

#📁MISC SOLO ｜ #📁MISC RP — works that do not have any specific fleshed out setting

#📁MY OCS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OCS ｜ #📁MEDIA CHARACTERS

#💘SHIPPING — specific ship tags in “OC-Related” subsection

#🎨ILLUST ｜ #📝WRITING — my own works, sorted into the subtags #scrawls, #rough, #clean, and #coloured as well as #drabbles, #oneshots, and #ongoing respectively; #WIPs and #showcase are used for both

#💞TREASURE BOX — works featuring my OCs by other people

#💛OTHERS’ WORKS — works by my OC collaborators! :D

OC-Related

I use an OC’s full name for art, writing, and any information on them (in response to asks or in general musings) I find important/vital. I may sometimes include works by other people in their main tags if I feel they represent the character’s vibes well to people who are not yet familiar with my OCs! I’ll usually tag other people’s OCs by their full names as well, unless the mun has their own tagging conventions (in which case I’ll follow suit).

Most characters’ full names are present on their Toyhou.se profiles, but I’ll list relevant ones here as well (especially since Xero and Velo’s are busted LMAO):

Xero Ouroboros Flamel Nocturne Jabberwock Lacrimosa etc … if you don’t want to remember all that Xero | Ouroboros is fine!

Dimitri Andreyevich Noskov

Reis Cordis ｜ The Lord of the Flies ｜ Navid Veisi

Umetarou Sano Lecce

Velo Velocity

Dr. Evening Threnody

Beyond that, I’ll use their shortened name + a descriptor to organise posts, as follows:

#[OC] by others — works featuring the character by other people

#[OC] info — self-explanatory; includes responses to asks

#[OC] answers — asks or replies where I draw/write the character responding directly

#[OC] core — random things that remind me of the character

Rounding back to shipping, each pairing or polycule has a main generic tag, but may feature subtags indicating top/bottom or D/s order (for sexual, suggestive, or otherwise ‘charged’ works).  The Eastern fandom practise of ordered tags is important to me, as oftentimes AB and BA are their own separate dynamics completely!

#Arizona — ANTE × Zion (Ram’s)

#Atomic Zero — Xero × Zeta (Ram’s)

#Knife Life — Xero × Killer Girl (Kumkrum’s)

#TBA — Dimitri × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA｜dimieros, xerodima — Dimitri × Xero

#TBA｜navitarou, tarounavi — Navid × Tarou

#TBA｜taroureis, reistarou — Tarou × Reis

#TBA — Xero × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA — Zeta (Ram’s) × Dimitri

They’re all just listed in alphabetical order since I wasn’t sure how else to sort them ahaha.  (Also this section is currently WIP as I upload more art/try to think of generic ship names… Bear with me 💀)

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🍳 BLOGROLL

People I OC with a lot 🤼 !!!  Check out their socials 🥰

@mihlen｜twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se

@ramsauced｜twitter｜toyhou.se

@enigma-sanctity｜twitter

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🌻 ABOUT ME

I’m Filipino, born and raised outside of the mainland United States (though I’ve sadgely lost my fluency 😔) and somewhere in the East Coast now.  I’m non-binary (femme [not a woman] + transmasc) and aroace (-spec).  I got that dog (chronic disability) in me so I’m often languishing in bed like a Victorian prince with tuberculosis (but we ball).  Instead of having conventional mento health struggles I got hit with the niche and silly beam (OCD/C-PTSD among them) :(  I suffer the paradoxical curse of being both a high-maintenance extravert who never shuts up and extremely, painfully shy…

Creative works are just my hobby and I do [vague office things] as a job.  An assortment of media I like can be found on my carrd, but in terms of recently popular fandoms, I enjoy Trigun and Deadpool & Wolverine !  I’m mostly a film guy, though.  Beyond fiction I have old person interests like buying seasonal produce, home improvement, and tailoring.

I pretty much exclusively blog from PC—please give my blog’s theme a look on PC browser if you get a chance! :D

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[cambionverse]

WE FUCKING MADE IT Y’ALL

this essay, “Of Spinoffs and Spinning Off” by Louisa Stein, is a published academic work that mentions cambionverse by name as part of a 700-page book about fandom studies!? HOLY SHIT??!? this was published in 2018 but it took the sheer chaotic SPN-returns energy of 2020 for us to stumble across it. astounding. love this for us

(quick aside to caveat that of course we were not the inventors of the Team Free Will 2.0 concept, it was already well-established before our first fic posted in 2011, and “Cambionverse” as a name is pretty specific to our fic series and not something people use for all fandom content that happens to feature Ben/Jesse/Claire. BUT STILL, shoutout to literally anyone who has made fanwork of our verse over the past ten years because YOU’RE FAMOUS NOW TOO)

(second aside to say “it is also entirely possible that the creators of the eventual canon version of Claire drew inspiration from the prior fan authored versions of teenage Claire.” U DON’T SAY)

Text from the screencaps below:

“To my mind, there is no better example to demonstrate the politics of the “official” spinoff in conversation with energies and labors of fan spinning off than the longrunning fanbeloved TV series Supernatural, and so for the rest of this chapter I will use Supernatural as my case study. I do not mean to suggest that the spinning off that occurs by the hands of Supernatural fans is necessarily different in quality or significance than that of other series, fans, and fandoms, past and present. Rather I turn to Supernatural because its now 12year run offers a wealth of snapshots of different modes of industrial and fan spinning off, and the relationships and tensions between the two.

[...]

Spinning Off to a Better Text: The Cambionverse

Also in Textual Poachers, Henry Jenkins talked about how fan authorship (often) emerged from dissatisfaction as much as from enthusiasm on the part of fans. Elsewhere I have argued that fan works can be seen as critique as well as supplement in that they point to holes, to misrepresentations, to gaps, to things left wanting (Stein forthcoming). Some fan spinoff verses—like the Endverse—seem to cumulatively build on the source text, giving us more of what the text offered, and thus do not seem to be oppositional to the source text. But even such works that follow clear markers in the source text can be read as critique. Fan authorship of “Down to Agincourt” and other Endverse works function as critique as they voice fan desires for different narratives and themes, along the lines of: “We want more Endverse; We want darker tales that blur morality further; we want a darker version of Dean, a continued depiction of Sam and Lucifer, a more extended stay with drug and sex fixated Castiel.”

At the same time, spinoff verses can find their origin in critique driven by fan desire to fix some of the consistent perceived failings of the source text. For Supernatural, this means that fans envision and author spinoffs that feature female characters, people of color, and queer characters (and characters who merge these identity markers) who don’t get killed. For example, in between season eight and nine, fans envisioned a version of Supernatural that centered on powerful female “big bad” Abaddon, rather than relegating her to marginal, doomed, and finally unimportant figure. At around the same time, fans authored the first stories in what they termed Cambionverse, also referred to as “Team Free Will 2.0.” The Cambionverse envisioned the next generation of hunters, comprised of characters who had (then) only been featured in single episodes. One of these characters at the center of this fan envisioned spinoff was Claire Novak, daughter of Jimmy Novak, whose body the angel Castiel possessed. Like the Endverse, Claire Novak had offered story and character potential that the Supernatural series seemed to overlook but that resonated with fans. Thus, as fans continued to write stories featuring Claire together with other oneoff characters Jesse Turner and Ben Braeden, these stories to a certain degree served as critique of Supernatural’s poor story choices and flawed ideologies of representation.

Fans spin critique into new work with all the transmedia tools and then some that they deploy for the televisual source. Cambionverse creators create fic, GIF sets, vids, art, meta, and fanmixes (musical playlists created and shared on interfaces like 8Tracks and Tumblr, http://8tracks.com/explore/cambionverse/popular/1). This active transmedia spread positions Cambionverse as an expansive multimedia universe in its own right with the fic at the center, but as was the case with “Down to Agincourt,” there is arguably more collaborative feedback with less purposefully clear policing of the lines drawn between “official” and “unofficial” authorship. The Cambionverse spreads across multiple platforms deployed by fans, including An Archive of Our Own, Tumblr, and 8Tracks, spun by multiple authors in multiple forms. Thus, the Cambionverse demonstrates how transmedia authorship and the multiplicitous transmedia landscape further destabilize traditional notions of authorial control.

[...]

Fan literacies extend beyond close textual analysis of the series to knowledge about the politics and potential of Supernatural’s future production, to a larger production literacy regarding the creation of spinoffs, as we have seen in fan coordination and campaigns for the Supernatural spinoff Wayward Daughters. Arguably, the concept for Wayward Daughters emerged from the same fan impulse that birthed the Cambionverse: the desire to tell the stories of characters with strong potential who were underused or introduced in an episode, and who were left underdeveloped yet with strong narrative potential. In response to these rich narrative gaps, fans told Claire Novak’s story through to her teenage years. They wrote various versions of Claire’s narrative in the years between her character’s first (one episode long) introduction in Supernatural’s fourth season and her eventual return six years later in the series’ tenth season. By the time the official Supernatural writers cast Claire as a teenager and brought her to the screen, fandom had already fleshed out her character and narrative. Supernatural actor Kathryn Newton came to fill a character already fleshed out in the fan imagination, in GIF sets, vids, featuring actors from other media fancast to serve the character of Claire, and drawn and painted by fan imagination in lines inspired by these fan castings and by individual interpretation. Both fans and the Supernatural producers were working with the same source and question: what would Claire Novak as we saw her in season four be like as a teenager, given her physical qualities and personal trajectory? Thus, perhaps it is not surprising that the teenage Claire Novak of eventual Supernatural “canon” looked quite a bit like the fan imagined Claire, blonde but sullen, a rebellious teenager with an angelic chip on her shoulder (and in the world of Supernatural, the descriptor angelic is not a compliment ...). Of course, given the visibility of fan work and the knowledge of fandom displayed by Supernatural producers, it is also entirely possible that the creators of the eventual “canon” version of Claire drew inspiration from the prior fan authored versions of teenage Claire.”

Louisa Stein is Associate Professor of Film & Media Culture at Middlebury College, Vermont, USA. Her work on gender and generation in media culture and transmedia authorship has appeared in numerous journals and anthologies. She is a book review editor for Cinema Journal and the Journal of Transformative Works and Cultures. She is coeditor of the collections Teen Television (McFarland, 2008) and Sherlock and Transmedia Fandom (McFarland, 2012). Her book Millennial Fandom: Television Audiences in the Transmedia Age was published by the University of Iowa Press in Fall 2015.

In conclusion:

^ This artwork is now famous.

[biofreak659]

U know what? On that note: why I didn't like Netflix Castlevania and how it could have been better (with the caveat that I gave up 2 episodes into season 3 because everyone was obnoxious lol)

The biggest problem Netflixvania suffers from as a story is it's poor pacing. It takes an entire season for our main characters to even meet, and then another entire season for them to finally face Dracula. This could have easily been a single season series, but of course how could the show have survived without long rambling jokes about having sex with sheep, or our main trio bickering like high schoolers (I'll never forgive marvel for making annoying 'witty' dialogue the standard for comedy).

The interesting stuff (ie the castle part of the castlevania) is condensed into a ten minute fight scene, while our mains waste so much time on complete nonsense. But don't worry! Because the show also wastes time on complete nonsense! We definitely needed to see Dracula's whole backstory.

Anyways, now to ramble about how I think it would be better. My opinion is 💯 correct so if you disagree you are wrong and stupid.

Instead of going ahead and laying out all of the story cards, Netflixvania should have at least tried to be a bit more subtle, and more careful with what they chose to share with the viewer.

The existence of Lisa and Alucard really should have been kept secret until Alucard was encountered in the Castle.

Anyways, story. It begins with Trevor saving some hapless villagers or somesuch. They thank him, until they realize he's a Belmont, and then they flee, cursing him because he's been excommunicated and is evil now, yadda yadda. Like it or not, Trevor is our main character, not Dracula or Alucard, and thus the story really should be his. I felt a big problem in Netflixvania is that he really doesn't have any motivation to kill Dracula, beyond Sypha making him feel bad about it.

Give the man some internal motivation! It doesn't matter if it's a sense of duty, or the desire to regain his family's honor, or even if Drac kicked his dog—give Trevor a reason beyond 'because the plot needed me to'.

Anyways, I did like Dracula's generals. I thought they were very interesting, but I think Godbrand should not have been included. He's a dumb marvel archetype for comic relief, and he doesn't do anything for the story beyond being obnoxious. I would have preferred it if, like Carmilla, they were all monsters that appeared in the games (Orlox, Abbadon, The Mummy, Frankenstein's Monster, etc), but regular vampire generals are cool too. I really like Carmilla as a schemer, and moreover, I liked that her scheme failed, largely due to the trio smashing through that plot and killing everyone.

I'm... iffy about the inclusion of the Forgemasters. I don't think Hector or Isaac really added anything to the plot that needed to be added (they make monsters! Uh okay, why do the monsters have to be made?), apart from being sucked into the aforementioned scheming.

I'm losing the thread. Anyways! Trevor goes into the castle, does some fighting and exploring, etc. Basically the stuff from early season one, but with no obnoxious quipping. Along the way, he runs into Sypha, as a statue, Grant, as a gremlin man, and eventually Alucard.

I'm torn about including Sypha's disguise as a man. On one hand, it's very funny, on the other, it really doesn't serve a purpose.

I suppose now I ought to mention Netflivania's decision to poc-ify it's white characters.

This, like a lot of netflix's other IPs feels very, hmm, performative. Take the generals for example. There's the japanese lady, and the turkish guy, the indian lady, etc. In the third season, the japanese lady even serves as a sort of tertiary antagonist, as the two vampire hunters were once her slaves. She's got a cool design, too. You know what would make her cooler? A line of dialogue, perhaps, or even, a Name.

I had to look the generals up, and only then did I realize that they actually had names. Netflixvania has a very diverse cast, except the only characters that actually do anything are white.

Except for Isaac, but for some reason Netflixvania decided they had to justify his being black with a slavery backstory, that did not exist in Curse of Darkness.

Anyways, back to the problems with the story.

Dracula and Lisa

In SOTN, we don't even know what happened to Lisa until the Succubus boss battle. In Netflixvania, it's the first thing we see. I feel the decision to humanize Dracula from the getgo, rather than cast him as a complete monster, then make both us and the characters realize the error in thinking of him as an emotionless monster once the existence of Alucard and Lisa are revealed, makes the story seem flatter. It's very predictable in that sense.

'oh Drac wants revenge cause they killed his dead wife but he's gone too far and needs to be put down' is way more interesting if it's

'oh drac needs to be put down but wait he's doing it because he wants revenge cause they killed his dead wife'

It's a fairly predictable story either way, because it's, y'know based on a video game with 3 gig of storage, but at least we have some mystery in why he wants to kill everyone.

And, you could add a but if foreshadowing and drama with the vampire generals, who know why drac is out for revenge, but aren't allowed to ever bring it up.

Characters

All of the characters in Netflixvania are obnoxious and seem to hate each other, except for Sypha who inexplicably falls in love with Trevor, possibly because the future told her she had to.

Seriously, the trio doesn't seem like they can stand each other, and Alucard and Trevor especially. This would be fine, except the series also likes to pretend that they're just doing some friendly witty bickering. This would be fine, if Netflixvania decided to show us that they were actually friends.

Just leave them as enemies, it's fine.

Grant Danasty

Okay this one is more petty and personal, but I like Grant mostly because my sister mained him in that awful castlevania fighting game (I was always Eric)

Where are you looking!

Anyways, they totally could have included Grant, but there were more important scenes, such as: Godbrand doesn't bathe, and

Yeah okay I'm giving up for now. This dumb show incenses me

I will write more later unless I forget

[madroxed]

the order (season two) thoughts.

so chotoranii asked me for my thoughts on the order season two. of which there are many. posting them here rather than in a reply so tumblr doesn’t fuck up the ‘keep reading’ break. 

SO MANY SPOILERS AHEAD, OBVIOUSLY.

OK FOLKS, LET’S DO THIS. SORRY ABOUT THE WORD COUNT.

the good, the bad, and the incomprehensible.

ok SO. overall i thought this season was so much better than season one, especially in terms of production and acting.

i should start by saying, the biggest twist of this season? ME LIKING JACK AS A BLOND. i’ve been dragging that hair for months and i end up digging it? i’m so mad at myself.

ANYWAY the first three episodes? flawless! beautiful! amazing! they honestly took everything i could have listed as wanting and put it onscreen. jack trying out for cheer squad and having to stay on cheer squad to keep up the act? them finding each other almost immediately? the jokes about orgies? jack taking the knights seriously and holding on to his anger over the memory wipe? lilith and nicole? nicole in general? RANDALL AND HAMISH FAKE DATING (however briefly, seriously, i will be writing fic where they have to keep that up because i am betrayed that it was never brought up again and if you think i didn’t throw my laptop across the bed so i could run around screaming you’d be wrong)? A MAGIC HEIST?

honestly, all perfect.

............then the season started to go downhill. don’t get me wrong, there were still some excellent parts, but they were hindered by two things:

the plot jumping about too much to be comprehensible.

the fact that we the viewers are supposed to believe that randall carpio and hamish duke would not tear the world apart for lilith bathory immediately. 

the first is forgivable; the first season’s plot was a simple enough device that meant it dragged a little at times. this season they seemed to not want to fall into that trap again, but in doing so threw something so big in that they needed far too much exposition because they didn’t have enough time to show it (a trait they fell into in a lot of ways, we’ll get back to that). SHOW, DON’T TELL, FOLKS. that being said, i really liked salvadore as a character, and the idea of a group of people striving to make magic accessible to all was a cool moral quandary plot. 

the second is unforgivable to me, and led to the majority of my issues with the season. i understand the knights becoming members of the order (cool concept), i understand them struggling with conflicting loyalties because of it, but what i don’t understand is the fact that randall spent the majority of the season saying “let’s get lilith back!” only to back down at the first push back, and hamish was the push back. because......the order had other problems. IN WHAT UNIVERSE DO THE KNIGHTS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER NOT PUT EACH OTHER FIRST AND SAY FUCK EVERYONE ELSE? 

(jack i understand, if only because we saw so much of it last season. his loyalties are kinda flaky. i do understand his loyalty to vera; not only did she play a huge part in taking down edward last season, but the mind link thing and learning all her pain would have stuck with him. he loves a cause, that boy. also hey ho! jack was so much more likeable this season! we love to see it.)

also i just really missed lilith.

(thank fuck for nicole never giving up.)

the amount of callbacks to season one were fantastic. they didn’t just move on and leave it be, they referenced basically everyone, and seeing professor clarke and kyle again was a nice touch just to tie things together. there also being discussions about jack’s pete related trauma was great and necessary. 

ok, so alyssa. i take back my post about how great it would be for her to be the villain. this was so much better. her trauma in the wake of both season one and then accidentally killing someone leading to her feeling so conflicted and lost and alone? her magic malfunctioning when it’s all she feels she has? we’ve always known she was ambitious, but to see her face straight on the idea that she may be left completely powerless and no one really listening or trying to help her except a hive mind that’s also hurting her? o u c h. 

we saw this season that the real problem with the order is its motto of ‘hurry up and wait’. ‘we’ll save lilith.....just do all these other things first!’ ‘we’ll get alyssa’s magic back......there’s just more important things right now!’ it’s all so easy to see how that could frustrate someone so much they can’t take it anymore. 

i’m so pleased i loved alyssa so much this season. i desperately wanted to and i’m glad they gave me that. i just felt so much for her. she just wanted to not feel so alone and so helpless and so scared that she was going to pick the wrong side again. it was beautiful.

this also meant alyssa/jack was better this season. having got the insta-love out the way last season (ugh), this season they were able to actually look at how that would play out if you took ramifications into consideration. all the problems i had with them last season were vocalised onscreen, and this new unstable thing left in its place was far more appealing to watch. they were messy and bad for each other and they knew it, but that didn’t stop them loving each other. 

also: “if we get out of this, can i take you to the mall? because i really hate your jean jacket. and your hair.” 

in regards to the other relationships: 

lilith and nicole were adorable for the limited amount of time we got them onscreen. the slow crush to nervous dating was beautiful, and seeing lilith struggle with what getting her memories back meant in regards to that was great. we all know i thought the lilith/randall of last season was rushed, so having lilith torn over hurting one of the most important people in her life and following these feelings for someone new was lovely. IF WE GET A SEASON THREE I BETTER GET SO MUCH MORE OF THEM.

here’s the thing, putting aside lilith/nicole for a moment: the order can’t write good relationships (*with one major caveat).

hear me out. 

in season one it was insta-love. jack and alyssa meet and suddenly defending alyssa is the only thing that matters to jack. it....wasn’t good. randall and lilith were thrown together with very little build up and we were supposed to roll with it.

this season we had both hamish/vera and randall/gabrielle. i would like to say that theoretically i am here for both of these. but.

hamish/vera occurred off screen. oh, sure, we had a couple scenes of them staring at each other over drinks, but that was all we got until late into the season. we were told that hamish and vera were a thing by randall when he was winding hamish up. we didn’t see it for ourselves. again, this show’s habit of telling not showing is a problem. 

hamish and vera could make sense. two leaders of opposing factions having sort of hate, begrudging respect sex? i see it. from there, you can show us how it would become something more.

the show doesn’t. 

we’re told they’re together. we’re told hamish is forsaking his knightly duties in favour of vera. we’re told by hamish that he’s drunk the order koolaid, 

and all of this is supposed to culminate in us believing that hamish duke - tundra, leader of the knights of saint christopher, the most cunning of the wolves - would push aside everything else because he just believes that much in vera stone? to the point that he would all but abandon lilith and degrade his relationship with randall to randall being the annoying sidekick? 

i woke up at two a.m. to write a note on my phone that says: ‘the greatest tragedy of the order season two is hamish duke’s character assassination.’ and i stand by that. 

besides lilith’s absence for almost the whole season, it’s the thing i’m most mad about. i love hamish so much and to one-dimensionalise him in favour of a ship is...............shoddy work honestly.

so like i said. HAMISH/VERA COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, BUT FOR FUCKSAKE SHOW, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY DEVELOP THIS SHIT.

randall/gabrielle was better developed. by which i mean we actually saw them interacting on screen. we got to see them begrudgingly working together, we saw him learn more about her, we heard them talk about her need to fit in somewhere. when they made the joke about being bffs? good stuff. would i like them to slowburn this shit? yes please. have them become best friends and then have those feelings be something else. i would really like that. the show just needs to.......slow down. not immediately see a single character and need to throw them into a relationship with the nearest person.

gabrielle was great this season. by which i mean, she was gabrielle, and we love some consistent characterisation. i think it’s so true to everything we know about her that she’d want to inject herself into the knights’ world; she wants to be part of the in-crowd, and right now that’s them. she’s also supremely jealous of alyssa because, to her, it seemed like alyssa had the best of both worlds. so, yes, her wanting to be around the knights and that developing into her begrudgingly liking them makes a lot of sense to me.

so, my caveat.

the relationship the order knows how to write? the knights. hamish, randall, lilith, and jack. that dynamic saved season one from being a total mess. that dynamic thrived in the early episodes of this season. IT’S JUST THAT GOOD. i said once that if the order just became greek (2007) but with werewolves i’d be happy, and the first three episodes really gave me that. 

THE KNIGHTS ARE EACH OTHER’S SOULMATES, ASK ME HOW.

is this an excuse for me to complain that they gave us a hint of hamish/randall and then cruelly snatched it away and i’m still mad about it? YOU BETCHA.

is this also my way of saying there wasn’t nearly enough jack/randall this season? YOU BETCHA.

removing lilith from the equation (I’M STILL SO MAD) and then having hamish pull away from randall because..........who the fuck knows, was just a recipe for disaster.

clearly lilith is the glue that holds these idiots together.

so, vera. katherine isabelle still just steals every scene she’s in. i love her. i love vera’s characterisation. i love that she’s shamelessly ambitious but also wants the order to succeed and the world not to end. i love that she can be cold and cruel and still have such soft spots for both jack and alyssa. i love that she can be vulnerable and angry about it. i just........think vera’s pretty fucking great, tbh.

i still don’t understand why the knights - after their infiltration revenge plans go tits up - decide to just go full on order. like??????? hamish and jack barely even questioning anything???? randall must have spent most of this season feeling so alone.

that being said, when jack said to nicole and randall that he knew what they needed to get lilith back and the conversation pretty much went:

jack: you’re okay betraying the order?

nicole: for lilith, anything.

randall: i’d literally betray the order for a cookie, haven’t you been listening?

we love to see it.

OH, HEY GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN IAN ZIERING AND JASON PRIESTLEY WERE MEMBERS OF THE ORDER AND JASON PRIESTLEY BECAME GRAND MAGUS FOR A HOT SECOND???? that was written solely for me. i do not know who this show thinks its audience is, but it understands me to my core.

so...............i have zero clue where the show intends to go from here. i just need alyssa to be ok and i hope - like his friend randall - jack is willing to kill whoever the hell he has to to make that happen. (we stan randall straight up murdering someone to get lilith back and making sure nicole remains innocent and safe tbh.) 

SO TL;DR: the early episodes gave me life. the show declined from there, but i still enjoyed it a lot. the order is at its best when the knights are a team, i loved alyssa’s story this season, and i have no clue what to expect from next season (if we get one). werewolf alyssa? villain jack, perhaps? we’ll see! 

THIS POST PROBABLY SEEMS TOO NEGATIVE BUT HI! I STILL LOVED THIS SEASON A LOT AND I LOVE MY KIDS WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND IF YOU READ ALL A MILLION WORDS OF THIS THEN I LOVE YOU TOO.

also if anyone has any hamish/randall prompts i’ll be hanging out over here crying into my hands for the next few weeks. FAKE DATING. how dare they?!

[delcat177]

FALSE DUALITIES: How NOT to address The Serial Rapist

Hopkins keeps doing these “wacky” Drip stories where he’s a bumbling uwu sillypants and I frankly can’t think of a single worse way to “redeem” a character

More rape tw plus abuse tw, csa tw, fucking generally grotesque shit under cut

Drip is canonically the sin of Lust and has raped, tortured, and killed at least a dozen women onscreen and hundreds more off (there is a LOT of detail about it), including a cave full of enslaved souls he molests at will while they beg and scream for mercy, one particular enslaved soul who he raped multiple times daily after Death gave her to him for the sin of avoiding death, his own kindergarten-age son,

...and, as much as Dave wants us to forget it, *countless* victims in (ugh) Musical Holes, a game he invented to play in Hell’s arena with damned souls, at fifty women a go:

Oh yeah, the karmic punchline to this one was gay rape is scary and reprehensible whereas rape rape is pretty entertaining:

Same character. But look, he’s got big soft eyes and he’s kinda dumb! It’s not creepy at all!

It’s not creepy at all that she’s using real-life self-defense scripting against real-life rapists (soil yourself however possible, bring up pregnancy, ask about women in the rapist’s life, humanization etc)!

It’s especially not creepy when you realize that this character, Megan (sorry IRL Megan it never stops being weird) was stalked, threatened, brutallized, humiliated, raped, and fucking dismembered over a series of violent events in her own arc, by three different rapists, at that, one of which also wanted to rape the little girl she was trying to save! This is a character who should by all means be in the middle of raging PTSD shock, but it’s funny and cute because her buddy from that arc might eventually rescue her after having sex with everyone else ol’ silly Drip tied up to rape-murder later!! u fucking wu!!

This is my Thing. I have no problem with dark fiction. I have no problem with noncon or rape fiction, even (with a good list of caveats, but let’s not digress). I have no problem with creators tackling mature subject matter, the response to there being terrible things in the world is not to pretend that isn’t the case.

But that’s exactly what is happening here. And it is fifty kinds of fucked up. If these were completely whole cloth characters...well, I’d still have a LOT of problems with this comic, not least because Silly Drip’s comeuppance is getting raped himself and then shamed by the rapist leaving his TV to tape gay porn so the cops laugh at him (HA HA, HA HA HA HA, MUSICAL HOLES ALL OVER AGAIN, GOD HOPKINS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU), but it would read a lot kinder than its reality--an attempt to reform a character who was built specifically to never be redeemed by giving him a soft outline and hanging a lampshade on his dick.

And there’s no damned reason for it, except brand. People like Drip. People *love* Drip. He’s their fantasy. So Dave goes “okay here you go but remember Drip is a BAD GUY” and then whines that nothing he does is ever enough for the critics.

This is why, Dave. THIS is why. You can’t take a character, spend fifteen years having him as a worshipped figurehead for brutalizing innocents, and then turn around and make him Boner Mickey Mouse. Your audience knows what they’re looking at. Paint him pink and call him Bippo the Clown, he’s still going to be the one who raped his own kid not only because he has no qualms with child rape, but because as self-stated, he wanted to use it to hurt another character on the deepest level possible. He has done nothing to earn redemption, learned nothing, has given no compensation to his victims, has no accountability.

Oh yeah, and the last time he and Megan met?

It was just soooooooo cute! That darned wacky boy uwu

yeah no he ripped her tail out at the spine because he didn’t get a chance to rape her and she never recovers it and nearly never recovers from it. They have to remove her to Heaven to keep her from dying and they can’t regrow her tail because.......well, Heaven is Hell with a paint job in this comic. They’re the lawful evil to the chaotic evil of Hell. There is no recourse for souls. There is no recourse for the wronged.

Except WACKY DRIP ARCS!!

*laugh track*

Yes, he states these are “comics for friends” and have “no relation to his other comics”, and, I imagine, come from roleplay sessions or streams. I do understand the professional distancing of the character that you write for a serious publication and the behind-the-scenes “actor” quality of those characters, that running silly antics with them is a fun exercise for blowing off steam and letting them say and do things they wouldn’t otherwise do. It makes them stronger as characters, builds in detail, provides material to make the organism of a story work better with itself.

But you don’t fucking invite the serial rapist to the party and expect people to go “oh he’s so cute now”.

That is, of course, exactly what’s happening in the comments. Honestly, I would be lying if I said I didn’t find this comic to be kinda cute, because I do like Specks, I like Megan in theory, and I thought that the two had chemistry to interact in. It even has a page where a character asks if they can choose not to consent to sex for rescue and the reassurance that no, that’s not the case, which is something I legitimately never thought would ever be addressed in a Jack comic. Which is why it is so goddamned frustrating that it remains the most fucked thing I’ve seen all week, and I’m working with Screaming Barrel right now.

Don’t whitewash the rapist. Don’t fucking do it. For the love of God, Montressor.

Fucking kill Drip already.

Don’t bring him back.

Jesus.

ETA:

A visual aid

[antiquery]

do the thing for catullus I dare u

SIX,

sexuality/gender headcanon: standard caveat that romans didn’t conceptualize sex & gender the way that we do at all so modern definitions are essentially useless, but the way we think of it now he’d be bisexual

otp: caelius/clodia/catullus is the dream

brotp: literally i would kill for evidence of any and all of his interactions with cicero. can you IMAGINE

notp: none. ship him with everyone in rome

random hc: he and clodius hotboy got it on at LEAST once

favorite pic of them: all of lucrezia’s dead romans society art

[pyre-prism]

Pyre’s Tips for ‘One Piece’ OCs...!

Complete with a sample character bio template, at that! (*A*) Just remove all of my rambling, and you should be nice and peachy. If anyone wants to discuss things on the topic of 'One Piece' characters (fan-made or otherwise), then I'd be happy to oblige. This series is my happy place, more often than not... well, one of them. Also, I'm open to doing this for other fandoms as well... so long as I know enough about it... Any suggestions for me to consider? In short... I'd love for people to talk to me about this kind of thing. (T^T) I don't bite, I promise...! You can even do it privately, if you want~? Righty, one last thing before getting into this properly... I do use rather... 'colourful' words with topics I'm invested in, and there are potential spoilers in what I say, if you've only been following the English release. (^u^'') I couldn't stick to the English release if it killed me, I love this stuff too much. Anyhoo, onto the actual meat of this thing~!

Name: Any name will do, really… ‘One Piece’ takes place in a world where both perfectly ‘normal’ names and completely ridiculous ones coexist in harmony. The only caveat is that you should be very restrictive with middle initials, as they aren’t a particularly common thing… and you should be especially careful with ‘D.’ as a middle initial, as it means something special and carries a selection of traits alongside it. It is possible to create a character who bears the ‘D.’ initial in a way that fits the world, but you certainly shouldn’t overload your personal cast with them. On a side note, I find that it’s a real help to also note how the name is meant to be pronounced, as best as you can. It saves some potential confusion later down the line. Nickname: So long as there is a reason behind the nickname, and you don’t give them… say… ten completely separate ones, anything goes. It also helps to put down not only who calls them that, but also why. Again, pronunciation notes also helps. Epithet: An epithet in the ‘One Piece’ world is usually given by someone who does not like the character, and so you should be careful to make sure that it doesn’t sound too flattering for no real reason. Epithets are generally meant to describe either the character’s physical traits, something about their history, or something about their abilities. Often, they are meant to inspire some sort of fear, so as to urge civilians to stay out of their way. However, it should be noted that even Marines can get epithets, and even theirs aren’t generally particularly flattering. All that being said, it is possible to have a fancy or even ‘pretty’ epithet, but there needs to be a really good reason for it. It helps to explain what prompted that particular epithet to be given to them, as well. Also, almost every character who gains an epithet will only get the one, so make sure you don’t overload them onto the one character. Bounty: One thing that many people seem to forget about bounties in the ‘One Piece’ world is that they are not a ‘one-for-one’ indication of the character’s strength, or even how dangerous they are to the general public. What they are, however, is an indication of how badly the World Government wants them to be taken down. Each part of the world also has certain ranges that are ‘typical’ for a starting bounty, but unfortunately we don’t have proper examples for what these are, in most cases. What we do know is that a starting bounty of 30 million in the East Blue is astonishing, while a (presumably early) bounty of 85 million in the first half of the Grand Line is… negligible, really… and bounties in the range of 300 million to half a billion seem to be fairly normal in the second half of the Grand Line. When putting together what sort of price is on your character’s head (assuming that they are a pirate or other such kind of criminal), it helps to list out what they’ve done or been accused of that actually earned them that sort of infamy. It also helps to bear in mind any increases they’ve gotten over the course of their ‘career’. Oh, and… despite what many people seem to believe, a rookie pirate with a bounty of 100 million or more is not necessarily a Supernova! They will be part of ‘the Worst Generation’, but the Supernovas were a specific group for a very particular reason; they were the rookies with a minimum of 100 million on their heads, who were at the Archipelago at that particular time. Nothing else. There is nothing wrong with having your character have a bounty that is ‘Supernova level’, so long as there is a valid reason for it. Heck, if you can explain it well enough, you could even have your character be a Supernova… as in, the legit was-actually-at-the-Archipelago-at-the-time type. The ‘number limit’ on Supernova is nowhere near as important as the number of Warlords or Emperors, after all. Rank: For a pirate, bear in mind what they do on the crew. It helps to have some knowledge of what roles would be legitimately-needed on a sailing vessel when making this decision, as well. Age requirements are less strict for pirate characters than they are for many other subsets of your cast, so one of the best things to say here is ‘have fun but do your research’. As for Marines, age starts to become a primary point of concern. There is a limit to how young a character can be when they join the Marines, and there is also a certain air of ‘the old guard’ when you start to look at the higher ranking characters in the canon material. A Marine Captain who is in their teens or early twenties had better have an extremely mind-bogglingly-good record or power to have that rank, and when you start getting towards the rank of Vice-Admiral, then it would be best for them to be at least in their late thirties… While I’m on the topic of Marine ranks, it’s a good idea to look up the ranks used in the Japanese Navy, as that is what is used in the series. Age: The only advice I can give on this topic is to be sensible. Consider what you have in mind for them to know, what skills they possess, and (for a Marine) what rank they have. No adult or teenager is going to take a preteen captain seriously, even on a pirate crew, and those who are particularly elderly will be faced with some issues as well. On a side note, if you plan for the character’s storyline to have any correlation to the canon events, then you should probably make sure to note how old they are at the beginning of the story, and at the beginning of the two-year timeskip. Gender: I use ‘gender’ as the primary question here, and I always make certain to note when there is any form of disconnect between the character’s gender identity and their biological sex. Although, to help other people take your character more seriously, please don’t use phrases like “Female, duh”. Race: There are so many options for what race your character can be, that there’s very little reason to even try coming up with your own race ideas. That being said, however, that’s not to say that you cannot create your own race… just make sure that it makes sense in the world and has both upsides and downsides ‘built in’ to the race, and you should be good. However, it may be better to refrain from doing this until you’re reasonably practiced with not only coming up with races, but also until you’re very familiar with the world you’re putting it into. If you do choose to create a new race, you will need to explain it fairly thoroughly to other people, as well. As for the canonical races, it’s best to be aware of the types of interactions between them as much as you can, as this will help to make the character feel more ‘complete’. Humans are very common, but there’s also Fishfolk (Fishmen and Merfolk, I combine them due to their exceedingly-negligible differences), Skyfolk (the three races of Sky Islanders with wings), Giants, Dwarves, Longarms, Longlegs, Snakenecks, Minkmen, Triclopes (what I currently call the three-eyed race), and even Birdfolk (what I currently call the race Morgans belongs to)…! Heck, even hybrids are an option, but don’t go too overboard with piling on the fractions for this, else it will come across as nothing other than ridiculous. Eyes: One of the things that, as an artistic OC-creator, I really love about ‘One Piece’ is the fact that they can look like almost anything, and still have a chance of fitting in, just fine. There are no restrictions on what your character’s eyes can look like other than two points… Number one, be extremely sparing about the sclera (the white of the eye) being a different colour, as we don’t actually have a canon example of this as-yet. Number two, if your character’s eyes are yellow, then you shouldn’t have them be described as being ‘hawk-like’ as well, because that’s a trait that is so-far unique to Dracule Mihawk. It might be wise to be sparing on rainbow-coloured eyes, as well, for ‘safety’s sake’… Other than that, however, go wild! I personally don’t even care if your character has heterochromia, in any format or arrangement. Hair: Literally any colour is a possibility in the world of ‘One Piece’, and I love it. White or silver for someone from a very young age, canon compliant. Purple or blue or green or pink, canon compliant. It is so liberating to be able to apply any colour you want to something that is so frequently restricted in other universes, and, unlike what many people may try to tell you, even naturally-bicoloured hair is plausible. We have yet to see naturally-tricoloured or more, so it may be best to limit it to two colours at most. As for length, however, it is best to bear in mind what they do, although significantly-longer hair is still viable for a fighter if they either have an ability that uses it in battle or if they tie it up somehow. Or, you know, they’re a ranged-fighter. Skin: In the world of ‘One Piece’, even humans can have some pretty weird skin colours, so it is possible to go a little ‘nuts’ on this topic. So long as there is either canonical proof for that sort of colour for their race, or a viable explanation, then there is literally no rules on this. This category is also where I like to list out any notable scarring or tattoos that they may have. Build: Other than the basic descriptions of what type of build they have, you should also be certain to mention their height… and remember that even humans can be ludicrously-tall in this universe. If they aren’t finished growing yet, it may be useful to note how tall they are ‘at the moment’ as well as how tall they’ll be when they’ve finished growing. Typical Clothing: This is more for keeping in mind the sorts of outfits they might wear at various points throughout their story. Do they like bold patterns, or are they a more plain-clothes kind of person? You should also be aware that, despite taking place in a world that mirrors a lot of things from the early 1700s of our world, there are many much more modern pieces of clothing that we see throughout canon, so don’t feel the need to restrict yourself to ‘classic pirate getup’, although there’s also nothing saying that you can’t choose to do just that. Oh, and… if there’s any traces of a uniform or ‘theme’ with the people your character is associated with… stick with it. Marines will wear the uniform, in some way. Themed pirate crews will have certain ‘looks’. This is inescapable and inexcusable if your character breaks it, especially for no damned reason. Personality: This is one of the categories where the bulk of your character will shine through. While a dot-point list will work for the initial idea, eventually you will need to expand upon it. Make your character feel like a real person, in and of their own right, and you won’t generally have any issues. A character’s personality will be about half ‘ingrained’ and half ‘learned’, and these two things must not contradict each other without extremely careful and detailed reasoning… and an acknowledgement that the character is not mentally-stable. It is infinitely-important that you bear in mind what they went through up until the point you’re starting their story, because that will influence how they turned out. Don’t be afraid to give your character ‘undesirable’ traits, either, because that will actually make them seem more ‘real’ and generally more entertaining to deal with from a writing or roleplaying perspective… in fact, some of the most fun characters in my own cast actually have more ‘undesirable’ traits than they have ‘desirable’ ones! Also, it should be said… there seems to be some unspoken ‘rule’ about those to take to the seas in the world of ‘One Piece’… and that is that, to survive in that universe, you need to have some traits that would be considered ‘crazy’ in our world. So have fun! That is, after all, the primary point behind making an OC in the first place, isn’t it? Abilities: Each race, other than Human, has its own inbuilt capabilities, and you should list them out, along with any learned skills that your character has. Haki can be learned by any race, but you should be aware of the requirements for having unlocked it… some form of immense physical or emotional trauma seems to be the universal checkbox. If your character is a hybrid, then you can get a bit more creative, as well, although while it is viable for a hybrid to carry traits and abilities from each source, they shouldn’t have the full range of everything, and they must have at least some of the built-in caveats as well. Back on the topic of Haki, however… while I have no issue with having OCs with the incredibly-limited Haoushoku Haki, you should be careful to not overload your cast with those who have it… and there seems to be a potential connection between having that form of Haki and being a ‘D.’, as well. It helps to mention whether or not your character has eaten a Devil Fruit, as well, and how long they’ve had it for… more details on the Fruit in question can come in the next category… Devil Fruit: For starters, you need to know what the Fruit is. Is it a Paramecian, a Zoan, or a Logian…? Canon has introduced some Fruits in the most recent arcs (as of September 2018) that appear to blur the lines, but it’s best to try to stay away from such things until we’re told more about it. That being said, the Fruit’s ability will influence what its name is, as well… You should do your utmost to make the name suit the naming system that is presented in canon; the English name is short and to the point, and the Japanese name is always two syllables and tend to be onomatopoeias (‘sound words’). Also, and this is very, very, very important… unless you are dealing with an alternative version of the universe or a substantially-different time-frame, do not use a Devil Fruit that is in use by a canon character, with the only possible exceptions being those who are known to be dead at the time. Characters who show up in filler arcs or extra material, however, as far as I’m concerned, are fair game unless the storyline they appear in has been directly influenced by Oda for more than just character designs… Even SMILEs, until we know more about how they operate, should not be ‘doubled-up’ between canon and your character. There are also some abilities that appear in other universes that should be avoided in ‘One Piece’… Any ability that, by its very nature, requires the input of another person is treading on incredibly-thin ice, if not an outright no-go. Same with any ability that manipulates reality… although probability is a slightly different story… and is in-use in canon, so… yeah. Illusions are viable, truly warping reality is not. There is also another thing that should be avoided as much as possible… don’t make a Fruit that enables transformation into any kind of explicitly-water-based creature. No Devil Fruit user can swim… not even Fishfolk who have eaten one. However, even with that, it is possible to create a water Fruit, even a Logian, so long as you are extremely careful about how it works. With that out of the way, I have only one other ability-related note to make… If you create a Mythical Zoan Fruit, you can give it an additional ability, but make certain that it makes sense for that mythical creature to have that ability. Do your research on the stories about the creature, and you’re bound to be able to come up with something. You should also remember that every single Devil Fruit, even the ‘joke’ ones, have battle capabilities if you’re imaginative enough… And, last but not least… no Devil Fruit is without weaknesses. None… At all. At the very least, being submerged beyond a certain point will sap your character of their strength, seastone will nullify their ability and do something of the same, and it’s always wise to have at least one other thing that the Fruit power itself interacts poorly with. The key here is ‘balance’. Notable Attacks: ‘One Piece’ is one of the universes that seems to use the rule of ‘named attacks are more powerful’, if only as a focusing technique… as such, you can have fun with this. Make certain to have at least two or three things listed if they’re a combatant, as that guarantees that they have some variety… and, don’t have everything be the equivalent of a ‘one-hit-K.O.’ sort of thing, as that’s not only unrealistic in so many ways, but also generally lazy and boring. You shouldn’t just list the names, either, but make certain to describe how the move takes place and functions. It helps to note down any effect radius, additional effect, or extra requirements for using it, as well. From: Where in the world are they from? Where were they born? Where did they grow up? It’s best to make certain that you list the island and where in the world that island is, at the very least, but it also helps to include the settlement as well. Making up your own islands is fine, too… Heck, you can even have characters from Mary Geoise, if you want… so long as you make it make sense. Family: Unless there is something special about generations further back than your character’s grandparents, there’s little reason to bother listing them… unless you really like genealogy, I suppose. Grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, siblings, cousins, and any offspring is about the furthest you’d likely need to put down. Include any details about how these family members may have died (if they’re dead), or maybe even how their relationship with your character is. You can even include ‘found-family’, if you like… And heck, I for one don’t give a damn if your character is related to (or in love with) a canon character, so long as you make it make sense and you don’t warp the canon character into something that they are not… especially without a fucking good reason. Relationships: It helps to also figure out at least the basics of relationships your character has with those who aren’t in their family. Who are their friends, where friends and family are actually separated in your character’s views? Who are their acquaintances, friendly, neutral, and otherwise? Who are their rivals or their enemies? And, most importantly, why? Everything of that sort needs a reason, and it can’t just be ‘such-and-such person doesn’t like my character because they’re jealous of their beauty or skills’. Give both your character and the other character some depth to their relationship. You can even mention any specific love interests, so long as there’s a valid reason behind why they’re an item. I hope you’re seeing a basic trend, here…? Sexual Orientation & Details: Don’t be afraid to play around with various orientations in your cast… it can make for some intriguing character interactions when there’s some tension in the air, to say the least. That being said, there’s no real rules on what your character should like, but it definitely helps to have some idea of it, even if you don’t decide to share. It also helps to know what sort of thing your character likes in a partner… Are they a butt person? Do they like boobs? Big dicks? Do they have a particular fetish? What about how they go about making their interest known? Do they want just one person, or are they hoping to have multiple partners at once? Are they prone to cheating? You know, all that prime-time soap opera shit. Dream: Everyone who sets out for a journey must have some reason to have left their home… even if it’s because they have no home. These don’t need to be deep, or complicated, and sometimes the most simple and plaintive goals are the most heart-wrenching. History: Here is the other primary part of any character’s information where they really shine… A character’s history will guide and shape at least half of who they are as a person, so you should make certain to do a decent job. As with personality, a list of dot points is fine to start with, but you’ll need to go more in-depth eventually. Something about their childhood, something about their adolescence, and so on. Whether or not you share a character’s history, you need to know it… Even if they have complete amnesia, it will still shape them. One thing that you may find liberating is that almost any type of backstory is plausible in that universe, even the really traumatic and ‘angsty’ ones. Despite the cheery and colourful veneer of the art-style, the world is actually incredibly-dark, just below the surface. It is advisable to try to avoid giving your character the exact same backstory as a canon character, though, especially a prominent one, but there are actually ways to make them work regardless… so long as you’re willing to put in the amounts of effort required to make it personalised to your character. Be reasonable, but have fun at the same time, basically. Colour: A representative colour can be an interesting way to say without so many words what your character is all about… and it makes for a fun artistic exercise, as well. Try to either make it their ‘most prominent’ colour, or a colour which has meanings and symbolism that suit your character’s personality. Real-World Nationality: As Oda has listed some of these, I think it’s only right to include it with my character sheets… While it may be easy to go with stereotypes, I find it rather interesting to really dig in to the culture of the place when answering this part. It also helps to explain why your character would be that particular nationality. Animal: Being an artist who sometimes draws animals more than humanoids, and who loves making comparisons between my characters and animals (and other people’s characters, while I’m at it), this is something that I really love to do. Behaviours and even physical traits that are in-common can be a good place to start… and be honest. Not every character is going to be comparable to something cute or ‘cool’. Smells Like: If a person spends a lot of time around something with a particular scent, it tends to ‘sink into’ their bodies. What a person smells like can even be used to make a comment about them as an individual, as well… If your character smells like sweat, then they either don’t bathe very often or they spend a lot of time working out. If they smell like soap, they are probably rather fastidious about their personal hygiene or are quite well-off… Stuff like that. Theme Song: Some people will tell you “never give your character a theme song, it’s stupid and cliché and obnoxious”… I say fuck ‘em, do it if you want to. It can be a really fun way to give just that little bit of extra flair to your character, and don’t be afraid to go with instrumental pieces, as well. Some of my cast have been conceptualised while I was listening to a particular piece of music, and it just makes sense to have that be their theme song… doesn’t it? Although, one thing that is good to bear in mind is that you shouldn’t have all of your cast have their theme being music by a singular person or group… vary it up a bit, and it will help your cast feel more alive than ever before. Oh, and be sure to specify who did the piece you’re thinking of, too, because there are a whole heap of pieces that have the same name but are entirely different. That goes for any specific cover or remix, too. Laughter Style: In the world of ‘One Piece’, there is a trend… Most of the cast have a particular way of laughing, a specific sound that indicates them even when they’re off-screen. To help make your character ‘fit in’ even further, it may be a good idea to give them something of the same. You should also remember that you can have a different sound to your character’s ‘full belly-laugh’ and their ‘chuckle or giggle’. Voice Actor/Seiyu: Another thing that many people may say to not bother with is an ideal voice actor, but I find it helps to set how my character sounds down in writing. This goes for both an English voice actor and a Japanese seiyu. It’s really up to you as to whether you want to go the full way and do both, but I highly recommend doing it for one, at least. Be sure to note down what role and source you’re referencing for the sound, as well… Many of the best voice actors have immensely-versatile voices, after all. Favourite/Least Favourite Food: Something that I find to be an interesting tidbit to include is what my characters particularly like to eat, and conversely, what they try to avoid eating. Maybe your character has an allergy to carrots? The possibilities are endless, really. Japanese Pronouns/Manner of Speech: Another thing that I like to put down is how my characters refer to themselves and to others… In Japanese, it can give really useful and subtle insights into how they think, as each of the forms of address lend themselves to a particular ‘flavour’ of person. If you don’t know enough about the pronouns used in Japanese, then try putting down how they speak to others… Are they arrogant and crass, or are they more reserved and polite? Do they hide any hostility behind a mask of polite words? Do they speak in a way that is geared to spark a fight, or do they prefer to avoid arguments wherever possible? Is there any difference between how they speak or refer to various types of people, such as a pirate speaking to another pirate or a Marine? If there is any ‘type’ of person your character particularly dislikes, it really helps to know whether they’ll make it clear or not, and if they do… how. Trivia/Other: Is there anything that doesn’t fit in any of the previous categories? Make sure to list it in one like this. Because of the ambiguity of a category like this, there aren’t really any rules for it… just… make it fit the universe, and make sure it doesn’t completely contradict what you’ve already put down.

There is one last thing I have to say… Don’t just take what people online (let alone the wiki) say at face value, and remember that even the characters in canon can give the reader/watcher false information… Use your brain, basically.

[lullaandby]

su1

SECTION A.

DIC PICS

 THANKS NANA

 TELEMARKETING

 *

BE AN OLD LADY

 Story- old people stories

    ***

SECTION B.

UMAMI

STORY- MADONNA

 BEST LIFE

 MHP

 MOMS NEW CAREER

 2.        THE SHIT PARENTS SAY

3.         

4.         

5.        THEMS THE BREAKS

6.         

7.        STORY. Something my parents did on me

8.        As a “lesson that I do back”

9.        -stealing the balloons//

10.     -the special dolls// it’s my affection

11.      

12.     Story. When you parents get nuts

13.     Dad always

14.     Mom working

15.      

16.      

17.     MY STOMACH ISNT FLAT

18.     *

19.      

20.     SECTION C.

 JIZZ FOR JESUS

ST HORROR

FIREY PITS

*

  GOOD TO KNOW the Bible

BIBLICAL HERO

 *

PORN HUB THE WORLD

LADIES NIGHT

LADIES ARE MORE DANGEROUS

 STORY- ME

Old sunshine thought of revenge

Just settle for the good parents visit

*

 FOR REAL REVENGE

THE REAL REGINA GEORGRE

START OF Repression

COME A LONG WAY

MONGOOSE

VALIDATION STATION

THAT FREIND

DOWRY

MOTHER SHAME.

JENNER WORLD

PRECIOUS MOMENTS

 *

 JESUS INVENTED BROS

FEMALE VERSION OF BROS

PRODIGY KIDS

A FEW MORE STEPS

 SECTION F.

  METH NANNY

Story-Trisha

OVERSHARE

 *

TRYING

ROCK BOTTOM

ASS THAT WON’T QUIT

*build out

Maybe what you thought you’d do as a kid

  Business ventures

Work// office rips

-bosses

-ppl

Work parties

Work  gifts

Work birthday cards

 Admin assistants.// mid level managers

 Some are like bold coyotes you have to stand them down

 Others are like waiting for dial up

 spouses Having people over from work

 STORY- work

Competitive sports at work

 LIFE IS MONOTONOUS

PAINT NITE

REAL HOBBIES

    SECTION D

KNOW YOUR READY FOR KIDS

GROUPSEX

 *

 BJS WHOLESALE

FIND U A MAN

POETRY

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MALES AND FEMALES

WHY WE KILL THEM

WHY THEY KILL US

MARRIAGE VS DATING

DAVIDS BRIDAL

BEST PART OF BEING SINGLE

S-CAVEAT EMPTOR// ECONOMY MODEL HUSBAND

S-BLACK LAB

S-TUNA MELT//BJONES

 ***

  SECTION E.

 Emotional baggae

Tauma report

 CHINA STUDY

Popcorn and maraschino cherries

 CAN’T HANG

 FREINDS (material)

- Dave Mathew band concert

 AFFIRMATIONS

  QUESTIONABLE INTESNSITY

 ORPHANS

 MID LEVEL MANAGERS

 FRIEND BREAK UPS

  ***

  *

SECTION G

MOCHA

  OUTRAGE

 CRAFTS

 STORY- affirmative action

 ***

SECTION H.

 DIC PIC

 DIC AS CURRENCY

 DATING (material)

 STORY- DATING STORIES

-pimple guy

-scat Guy

   BALTIMORE BUTTS

(TRYING HARD AS A LADY)

  CAHTZ

 SUPERIOR SEX

 **************************

SECTION I. (Insert wherever in show)

2.        NERDS

2.        ARTISTIC INTEGRITY.

  TRUE FEMINISM

  PROTEST

Discussing gay rights and homophobia with a solid idiot

Low budget music video. Comparisson

 ***********

  SECTION A.

  THANKS NANA

 TELEMARKETING

 *

BE AN OLD LADY

 Story- old people stories

  THANKS NANA 37 seconds

Guidance around reproduction changes tremendously as your age increases

In your 20s it's-

 {voice second grade teacher}”hey. you literally have your whole life ahead of you,  dream big.

 Really Think about what type of family you'd like to have."

 In your 30's it's-

 {voice. Delores} " hey. Listen. If you're lucky enough to find a gentleman

  who will put up with your particular brand of nonsense-  

 You better be pragmatic.

 Just let a few slide in there."

 Thanks Nana. Good looking out. Always got my back.

   TELEMARKETING. 40 seconds

My favorite moments are when family members,

 The variety only seen at sporadic events like funerals-

 approach the topic of child bearing  with such force as if there was a commission based payout for their efforts.

 {cousin Linda} Hi Ms. Galvin, it's cousin Linda.

 (Sniffle. Throat clear )now- I just wanted to circle back on your womb intentions.

 The last time we spoke you were undecided -

 NOW Because you're a special member of our  family I'd like to interest you in a brand new offer that would be perfect for you-

 embryo harvesting.

 No thanks.

  BE AN OLD LADY

   SECTION B.

 UMAMI.

There was a woman who made a post about wanting to borrow a cat from someone

So that her children could live out the fantasy of having Garfield over for a lasagna dinner.

 If I ever asked my mother that she would give me the newspaper strip of the cartoon

and let me know that’s what I’d be eating.

 She would however throw in a umami packet for flavor

 Story- madonna

 No body is afraid of my mom now.

  2.        BEST LIFE

3.        My mother recently retired and decided that this year she was going to live her very best life.

4.         

5.        So far her efforts exist of the life changing choice between sand dune and waffle cone two

6.        Thrilling shades of beige for the downstairs bathroom.

7.         

8.         

9.        MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL

10.     Growing up  I asked to see a therapist as my idea of a fun playdate was-

11.     Opening up a cabinet, chucking the entire contents

12.     And gently settling them back in an organized fashion.

13.      

14.     Which if you’ve ever spent anytime around kids classified me with a disorder just known as

15.     weirdo girl who rearranges shit.

16.      

17.     My mother informed me that she was my therapist.

18.     With a real level of confidence, like I should just know

19.     That our entire family is going to make up my team of health care professionals.

20.     Who is my dentist? Grandma?

21.     Seem sketchy as she..

22.      

23.      

24.     To her credit, no one told my mother that daily episodes of Steve Harvey does not

25.     A mental health professional make.

26.      

27.      

28.     MOMS NEW CAREER

29.     Teri does have a new job.

30.     She buys furniture so often I recommended her to be in the 1930s industrial revolution

31.     As it utilizes her skills and is alignment with some beliefs.

32.      

33.     Just kidding she’s settled in on a cake baker

34.     Where she insists on baking cakes for your celebration

35.     Then setting them up and pretending to not suck all

36.     The attention out of the room

37.      

38.     Just kissing she’s a full time narcissist.

39.      

40.      

41.     THE SHIT PARENTS SAY

42.      

43.      

44.     THEMS THE BREAKS

45.     Using things against them.

46.     That they taught you were rules.

47.      

48.     Story-stole something and she made me go back (something about flipping it back)

 2.        FIGHT TO THE DEATH

3.         

4.        Winner gets all expense paid trip with mom.

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, where Tennessee must replace Butch Jones with the coach from ‘Last Chance U’

In this weekly tour of the unhappiest parts of the college football internet, let’s visit six fanbases after Week 3.

After the first two weeks of this college football season, we took deep dives into the internet DEFCON situations among two fanbases: Texas A&M’s after a 34-point lead became a loss at UCLA, and Ohio State’s after falling in grisly fashion to Oklahoma.

Those teams felt like obvious picks. Week 3 has a bevy of competitive candidates, so it’s a good time to spread some wealth. Let’s take a ride through some of the most extraordinary fan reactions from Saturday’s games.

Nebraska

Lost to Northern Illinois at home, the Huskers’ first loss ever to a MAC team, mere days after announcing an extension for head coach Mike Riley.

Larry the Cable Guy is fed up to the point that he’s suggesting Nebraska should replace Riley with a coach from the University of Nebraska .... Omaha.

Somebody call Trev Alberts down from UNO and see if he can help out! Ugh.. Sorry but I'm just like most Husker fans. I'm venting.

— Larry The Cable Guy (@GitRDoneLarry) September 16, 2017

There’s a lot more there by Larry.

Let’s hop to r/Huskers on Reddit.

One Redditor has an outside-the-box name for a new athletic director.

Thread: Les Miles for AD?

Les Miles and Mike Riley together sound like a hell of a combo. If Riley doesn't work out after another year or two, give Les the money and power to hire the best coach available at the time.

Thoughts?

Miles’ son, Ben, is a fullback for Nebraska. Done deal. Put it on the board.

Nebraska opened as a 10-point favorite against Rutgers. Another Redditor asked:

What? Why?

The mood at the school’s Rivals message board was not happy.

Thread: At least we have volleyball

You don't see them losing to small directional state schools.

Perhaps the most morbid thing anyone said:

Thread: Internet, Cell Phones, Social Media and TV killed Nebraska

In the old days when Nebraska was great, there was no internet, cell phone and very few TV channels.

Today young kids can text beautiful photos of the beaches of Florida to communicating with other prospects via text to Facebook. In the old days they could not and they did not have the Elite 11 or travel.

My point is this. Nobody knew or could see how boring the state is and being in a state like Nebraska where your recruiting is 100 miles behind Florida or Texas your screwed. Nebraska's only chance to get to that Top 5 Level on a consistent basis is to land a Pete Carrol, Nick Saban, Urban Meyer or Jimbo Fisher type of coach . Technology killed the good old days

Louisville

Got obliterated at home against Clemson.

To the Scout message board, the Card March!

Thread: Maybe we should have stayed in the AAC.

There’s also a brief thread calling for Heisman-winning quarterback Lamar Jackson to get benched in favor of redshirt freshman Jawon Pass, who — to be fair — does have one of the best quarterback names of all-time.

At 247Sports, one fan called for former Bobby Petrino assistant Jeff Brohm — who’s coached all of three games at Purdue — to take Petrino’s place at the helm.

Thread: Ready for the 'Brohm Era'.

Thanks for the great memories BP. There were lots of them.

Missouri

Lost at home to Purdue, 35-3. And just because Louisville fans have had enough Petrino doesn’t mean the shenanigan-hooked coach couldn’t land elsewhere.

To TigerBoard.com we go, where at least one fan wants Petrino to take over the head job for Barry Odom:

Thread: tempt Bobby P. with money and hookers, motorcycles

Another suggestion: Louisiana Tech coach Skip Holtz, who previously went 16-21 at South Florida.

Thread: How about Skip Holtz as a replacement? Only 54, has a

winning record as a D1 HC, winning record in bowls, and has recruited the SEC states for 20 years.

The most upsetting thing is that this is one of the replies:

That’s actually a very good option. And one that isn't talked about. Nice work hefe.

These poor people.

Some just want the misery to end.

Thread: We might want to consider forfeiting the remaining games in

order to avoid more embarrassing blowouts

Baylor

Completed a tour of non-conference losses that already included the FCS and Conference USA by losing at Duke. Matt Rhule’s now 0-3.

Let’s check in on the boards at BU fan site SicEm365.com.

Thread: Mike Singletary Would Have Been 3-0 Right Now

Thread: Rhule is in breach of the contract if this continues.

Surely his contract requires performance. A buyout or full buyout is in effect if it is the school (employer) that breaches the contract.

There is this addendum, sorting out some legalese:

Caveat I have not read the contract. But surely it seems basic principals apply to it, other wise it isn't a contract.

Also, someone’s worried that Baylor’s getting kicked out of the Big 12.

Thread: This is a 10 year minimum rebuild--Are we safe in the big 12?

Hey all-

Let's be realistic here. We have ZERO depth and we will lose a lot of commitments with this horrible start. This "process" will take us until the mid to late 2020s to get close to decent.

How long will the big 12 put up with it? Admit it, we got very lucky to get in. We better be on the look out.

p.s. Anyone that does not think we got luck to get in the big 12 ask any other big 12 fan (not a baylor fan).

I sure wish I was wrong.

LSU

Lost at Mississippi State by 30 whole points.

Let’s start in head coach Ed Orgeron’s Twitter mentions, where — as the game was still going on — numerous fans urged him to Get Control of His Team.

Jesus @Coach_EdOrgeron get control of your team. Zero zero zero discipline

— Anthony Jimenez (@Big__A__) September 17, 2017

@Coach_EdOrgeron get control of your god damn team.

— Jamelle J. (@JJRagas) September 17, 2017

Jesus Christ @Coach_EdOrgeron get your fucking team under control

— bluse (@geauxbluse) September 17, 2017

LSU never got control of the game itself. Afterward, many offered potential solutions.

Now let’s sojourn at TigerDroppings.com, where the usual NFL coaches were in demand as possibilities to replace Orgeron.

Thread: Chip Kelly

Thread: Should LSU go after Sean Payton if he gets canned by saints?

Would be a smooth transition.

Some of the posters just wanted their fellow posters to chill out.

Thread: You people need to go have sex or something

I mean, assuming you have the wherewithal to make it happen.

It's one fricking football game. You're still alive. Presumably you have a wife and kids. North Korea didn't nuke us. Your mom didn't get bent over by her pool boy. Get over it.

Thread: Ban me if you want

I'm sick of all you crying arse pussies. You wanted les fired you got your wish wanted O got your wish. Lose one game due to key injuries u want his head fire him. You bitches cried cause les would interfere change play calls. O let's his coaches coach. You bitch bout that he just stands on sidelines. Yall bitches are pathetic mother frickers. You are no true fans

It’s good to see the community sticking together after a tough loss.

Was there also someone floating Lane Kiffin, who nearly joined up as Orgeron’s offensive coordinator this season, to replace the man in charge?

You know there was:

Thread: Stars are aligning for Kiffin to become LSU HC in 2019

It's happening. I can feel it.

Tennessee

Lost at Florida on a devastating Hail Mary that wasn’t properly covered.

Regarding Tennessee’s idea of goal-line offense, here’s a really fair question:

.@UTCoachJones I am standing roughly 1 yard away from my wife. Should I reach out and hand her the remote? Or throw it three times? #GoVols

— Fleck To The Hill (@BigOrangeHill) September 17, 2017

Let’s go to VolNation.com.

Is there a plot to temporarily reinstall former UT head coach Phillip Fulmer?

Thread: Think about this

Currie brings back Fulmer during the off season in a "admin" support role

What if Currie brought Fulmer in just in case Jones tanked this season and he would be forced to make a move

Then, he can slide Fulmer in as an interim, with the understanding that it would be temporary.

Currie gets to bring in his own guy

Seems far fetched, I know, but it could be possible. You maintain some stability and Fulmer could sure hold together the recruiting class

Could Tennessee fire Butch Jones and replace him with the guy from Last Chance U?

Thread: Great idea for replacing Butch

I know many of you are huge fans of Netflix. Have you ever heard of Last Chance U? Let's get currie to take a shot on buddy Stephens. If you may not know buddy is one of the best coaches in the JUCO ranks. Sounds crazy right? But so crazy it might just work.

Is this all the fault of Buffalo Bills QB Nathan Peterman, a Tennessee transfer who played the latter years of his college career at Pitt?

Thread: I blame this loss on Peterman...

He played so sh*tty in his two chances at QB that Dobbs never got the redshirt that the coaches wanted. Otherwise, #11 would have been behind center yesterday.

For at least a year or two now, this should’ve already been the term for frittering away a game late:

Thread: No longer Clemsoning.

The new term is Tennesseeing. We Tennesseed that game away.

Have multiple people changed their Twitter names to “Fire Butch,” or used “Butch” and actual fire emojis to convey their desire to Fire Butch?

They were calling for Jones’ firing all throughout a Week 1 win over Georgia Tech, so you know they have:

Zoom in on the inset on the left on this one:

Hey there, Dan Mullen.

[hoteles5estrellas]

One of the beauties of being self-employed and living in the boonies is the option to spend the better part of a day compiling shit posts for Reddit while cuddling with your cat.

While I sincerely hope this post is far from shit, here goes – The Ultimate List of Money Saving Tips for Travel

Flights

First and foremost…Read the /r/travel Airfare Wiki – You’ll soon be transformed into a cheap flight guru and save /u/jippiejee an ulcer in the process.

Sign up for airline newsletters: I know your inbox is already overflowing with crap from JCPenny’s & Old Navy but some of the cheapest tickets I’ve ever purchased were direct from the airlines during a flash sale. This technique is especially good for domestic flights or shorter international routes.

Get to know the budget airlines serving your hub or hubs you plan to visit. Most of these airlines don’t show up on flight search engines….WOW, Wizz, etc. Just Google <budget airlines *airport name*>.

Sign up for Scott’s Cheap Flights – Also, http://ift.tt/1w6Iebc & http://ift.tt/OmlAMB

Roll the Dice with 3rd Party Booking Sites: OTAs will bend you over without lube should a situation arise where you need to access Customer Service – but if you’re 100% sure of your dates/times and are capable of spelling your name correctly, there are plenty of scenarios where CheapoAir, Expedia or Travelocity do find goofy flight options that are significantly cheaper than booking direct. Travelers willing to endure brutal layovers to save a few hundred bucks can score killer deals. Don’t rely on OTAs but don’t totally discount them during your flight search, either.

Massage Google Flights’ prostate: Here’s a good article from the Liberal Elite on giving Google Flights the finger in a good way – Google Flights is a utensil you can’t afford to leave off your tool belt.

Ask your parents for loads of free money: YMMV with this one. I’ve never had any luck with it but I’ve seen plenty of folks doing Yoga poses on rocks who have.

Listen to the fine people at Skyscanner. They certainly know what they’re on about.

I don’t personally do it but /r/churning/ provides plenty with a MASSIVE travel boner.

Try to be as flexible as you can…search for flights using the flight calendar whenever possible. The exact same flight from the same airline can often be 1/2 the price with just a 2-3 day shift.

Accommodation

To get a nicer hotel room at a deep discount, give Hotwire Hot Rates a go. A similar system is available at http://ift.tt/1srpqEi

Search rooms on Booking.com but then contact hotels direct to see if they’ll meet/match that price. Properties lose fat commissions to booking sites and can be open to negotiating, particularly if it’s a small owner-run place.

http://ift.tt/2n3Sd6U also a pretty good resource straight-up for cheap hotel rates.

Believe it or not, a lot of people still have no clue about hostels…an important detail to note is that not all hostels are 20 to a room, loud, stinky dens of iniquity…some are (and that’s great if a good party and cheap bunk is what you’re after) but others aren’t. You can find super nice hostels that are more like boutique hotels with shared rooms than wild booze/sex dungeons for 20-somethings…and everything in between. Here are a few popular engines: http://ift.tt/zWgMXx http://ift.tt/uTW9Gd http://ift.tt/1Yn1TTZ http://hostelzoo.com/

Sign up for these Newsletters: http://ift.tt/2n3SdDW & http://ift.tt/TRr3xP

You’re probably a millennial. Act like it: https://www.airbnb.com/

Caveat…I know nothing about this particular form of freeloading: http://ift.tt/1pMh7zt

Vacation rentals can be a killer deal if you’re traveling with a group: Along the same lines, Google <vacation rentals in *town name*> to find local websites with apartment/house listings.

Transport

Rome 2 Rio is fucking amazing.

Take the subway and don’t be intimidated by the public bus system. Buses are for losers who can’t afford to buy a car…if they can figure it out…you can figure it out. Or walk, you lazy bastard.

For low-budget travelers, the old “take a night bus/train to save a night’s lodging” still works wonders…bonus points if you’re a normal sized human and can actually sleep in a chair.

Rent a bike.

Food

Follow the 6-block rule: Never eat within 6 blocks of a major tourist site.

You’ve been buying food from the supermarket your whole life. It won’t kill you to eat a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in Berlin.

Eat local: Take a chance and wander into neighborhood joints where you have no idea what’s going on. Make the “I’m hungry” hand-to-mouth gesture to the wait staff and they’ll figure out that you’d like to exchange money for food.

Along the same lines…ask locals, even the staff at your hostel/hotel, where you can find good cheap eats.

Pack Imodium and eat street food.

Go Full Cliché! Ooh—la—la, baguette and brie on the green. Voila! Déjeuner bon marché!

Activities

Research museum pricing policies and free nights: Many major museums/sites offer free entrance once a month or once a week. If you’re willing to wait in line you can schedule your visits accordingly. Feel free to use this wait time to whinge to fellow queue mates about your crippling student loans.

Most cities will have a “What’s Happening” site online or a free newspaper version around town…find free festivals, free exhibits and free whatevers.

Into art? Skip museums and browse galleries…just shave and take a shower first…don’t make it obvious that you can’t afford a goddamn thing in there.

Learn to explore aimlessly…some of the most interesting cultural differences can be found wandering the aisles of a hardware store.

Don’t be afraid to skip big name sites if they don’t interest you.

Other

Follow your favorite airlines, hotels & travel sites on social media for first crack at specials.

Research destinations with this Travel Calculator: It could be that there’s another trip just as interesting as the one you’ve got planned for half the cost.

Don’t stress balls over it…but if possible, find a bank card with zero to no international withdrawal fees. The Yankee Doodles use Charles Schwab. (I use the same bank I always have and just pay 5 bucks because I am old and lazy.) If you do simply pay the fee (like me), take out the max with every withdrawal to limit the damage.

Some people like to do backbreaking farm work in exchange for lentils and man bun tying tips: http://wwoof.net/

And here’s a pseudo-legal way to find odd jobs to offset travel costs: http://ift.tt/1H5ih7l

Slow Travel: You’ll never see it all. Don’t try to. Spend more time in fewer places and you’ll save a bundle…my recommendation is to blow all those savings at the pub.

Search Google for promotional codes…you know that little box at checkout? Promo/Coupon? You’d be amazed how often you can find a code to slap in there for an additional discount.

Don’t buy a backpack full of garbage…it’s one thing to bring home a super cool keepsake or two but 90% of the shit I used to buy in the name of souvenir! is now collecting dust on a family member’s curio shelf.

Stuff Not to Do

Don’t buy one of those stupid LIfestraws as if you’re living in a post-apocalyptic video game – just by bottled water like the rest of us…most places sell 5 liter jugs so the true penny pinchers can top up in the hostel.

I personally refuse to support Hidden Ticket Travel but here at the bozos behind the madness. Above I said, “Don’t be afraid to skip big name sites if they don’t interest you.” Don’t confuse this with “Skip sites that DO interest you over a few bucks.” Don’t be that guy who went to Rome and was edgy enough to only see the Coliseum from the outside.

Don’t be a fucking mooch. Don’t be “that guy” who fills his backpack with the free hostel breakfast, ensuring hostel goers with a hangover are left to starve because all the toast is in some hippie’s Jansport. Similarly, don’t whine and cry and bitch and moan and wail on to your new travel buds about how “poor” you are so they’ll buy you drinks or what have you…You’re not poor. Poor people don’t go on vacation. I repeat. Poor people don’t vagabond across the globe in search of Machu Picchus, foreign poontang and spiritual enlightenment. Poor people don’t own 200 Euro backpacks with Camelbak pouches.

Addendum

If you’ve got tips you’d like added to the list, just send me a PM and I’ll cut & paste them here >>>

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