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thisapplepielife · 14 days

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Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest April warm-up round.

Who Will Buy My Memories?

"What do you mean, I owe back taxes?" Eddie asks, pressing the receiver of the payphone closer to his ear. As if that'll make him hear Steve differently.

"The letter says you didn't pay them. They're overdue, from, like, three years ago," Steve says, and Eddie's sure that's not right. He doesn't want to pay taxes, but they do. He pays under protest. Not, like, legally. But in his heart. Point is, he pays. Jeff makes sure they all do. For sure. Surely, Eddie's hasn't slipped through the cracks. Even if Jeff missed it, Steve would have caught it when he did their personal taxes.

"Did you call them and ask?" Eddie asks.

"Call who?" Steve questions, and Eddie can picture Steve's face scrunched up. Can hear it, somehow. He really misses him.

"The IRS."

Steve lets out an exasperated sigh, "No. I didn't call the IRS for you. For one, why would I know what your tax fuck-up entails?"

"You do our personal taxes!" Eddie interrupts, but Steve keeps talking, ignoring him

"And two? It says right in the letter that for someone else to call, you'd have to submit, like, a signed statement. Granting permission to discuss it with a third party. It's the law, Eddie."

"I'll do it. I'll do it right now," Eddie says.

"I'm sure you would," Steve laughs, "Is Jeff there? Or Goodie? Hell, Gareth? Somebody else that might know more?"

Eddie presses the speaker into his chest, and screams across the parking lot, just as Goodie's walking back to the van, arms full of snacks and a precariously teetering six-pack of beer.

Goodie drops the stuff on the seat, then turns and puts his hands up, in a what the fuck question, and Eddie just waves him over, frantically. He can't shout across the parking lot about this.

Luckily, Goodie starts to saunter over, but he damn well doesn't get in a hurry about it, and as soon as he's within range, Eddie shoves the phone at him, not even telling him who's on the other end.

"Steve," Goodie says, and Eddie grins, of course Goodie knew who it was without having to ask.

And then Eddie watches as Goodie listens, nodding along. Eddie has shoved his thumb in his mouth, and is biting at his nail, nervous.

Finally, fucking finally, Goodie speaks, "Jeff filed them. I'll have him call the accountant."

And that's it. No concern about Eddie for sure getting sent to prison for tax evasion. Nothing.

Then, he's handing the phone back, and walking away, like he has no worries over Eddie's financial well-being.

"Well?" Eddie asks, like maybe Goodie told Steve something he didn't hear first-hand.

"Jeff filed them," Steve repeats.

"I'm going to prison. I always knew I'd end up there, I just didn't think it'd be for something as fucking lame as not paying my taxes. I was accused of murder, if you haven't forgotten. I sold drugs. I stole an RV, once-"

"Technically, I think I stole an RV," Steve counters.

"Please, like you could hotwire a car."

"I could now. I watched you do it."

And Eddie grins, because the banter is soothing, normal. He just misses Steve a whole fucking lot while they're on the road.

Steve keeps talking.

"Taxes will get ya. Every damn time. Just ask Al Capone," Steve says drolly, not taking this situation seriously at all.

"Steve…"

"Oh, wait," Steve says pausing, suddenly serious, and Eddie freezes, "it says right here in the fine print that they're giving you the Willie Nelson treatment. Seizing it all. The furniture. Even your guitar. Selling it all off."

"That's not funny," Eddie says, but Steve sure is laughing.

"It's a little funny," Steve says.

"It's not. Who will buy my memories, Steve? Who?" Eddie asks, and Steve's laughing in his ear, but it's not funny. So, Eddie keeps talking, "And you're wrong. They didn't get Trigger. His guitar. I read it in the paper, and if you love me, you'll hide Sweetheart if they come to the house."

"Sweetheart is with you," Steve says.

Okay, that's true.

"Well. Fine. But the thought still stands."

"Okay, I'll hide the best of your loot, and after that, I'll expect to see you on an infomercial, shilling an album to pay off this alleged debt."

"That wouldn't be very metal, shilling my art between Jack Lalanne and Ron Popeil."

"Then pay your taxes in full and on time," Steve snarks.

"I did!" Eddie argues. He's sure he did.

"Does it say how much I'm on the hook for?" Eddie asks. It can't be that much, because while they're doing pretty good right now, they're not, like, rolling in the cash. Not yet. They're still traveling by van. A nicer van, sure, but still a van.

"It doesn't," Steve says, but then his voice goes soft and kind again, "It'll be fine," he promises, "It's probably a small error. No big deal. Just. Don't ignore it. Okay? I'm officially putting this in the 'actually pay attention to' pile."

"I will. We will," Eddie promises.

"Good. Now, tell me about South Bend," Steve teases, and Eddie looks around. Steve always asks, and Eddie always tells him something mundane, something true.

"Well. I miss you," Eddie says. "And someone drew a dick on the glass of the phone booth," Eddie offers.

"Is it a good dick?" Steve questions.

"Not really," Eddie admits, "not as good as yours."

"Oh, the charm," Steve says dryly, and Eddie leans his head against the glass, against the Sharpie'd-on aforementioned dick. They only have tonight's show here in South Bend, and then another two days from now in Fort Wayne, and then they'll be home for a whole month. He can't fucking wait.

"Anything else of note? Besides the dick?" Steve asks.

"Well, it's in this state called Indiana. I'm not sure if you've ever been…" Eddie trails off.

"Sounds familiar," Steve flirts and Eddie smiles.

They're almost home. Just a few more days.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

The title is a play on Willie Nelson's actual album he made to pay off his IRS debt: The IRS Tapes: Who'll Buy My Memories?

#corrodedcoffinfest #april warm-up: taxed #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fic #goodie (unnamed freak)#corroded coffin fic #ccf warm up: taxed #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: corrodedcoffinfest

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rawlickjuiceco · 6 years

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Winter cleanse

There are a lot of different cleansing techniques out there, and finding the one that’s right for you can sometimes feel overwhelming. If you really just want to give your body a break, hit the reset button on your digestive system, and do a short detox without a lot of fuss, this is the cleanse for you. The process is simple, straightforward, easy to follow, and it’s only three days long—making it a very manageable undertaking for most people. If this will be your first experience with cleansing, you’ve chosen a perfect place to start.

This cleanse can be undertaken at any time of year, but it will be especially beneficial at the junctions between seasons—when our bodies are ripe with a sense of transition already. However, even a very simple cleanse like this one is not appropriate during menstruation, for pregnant or breastfeeding women, or for anyone who is extremely weak or debilitated at the moment.

Benefits

The practice of cleansing is considered a vital part of an Ayurvedic lifestyle. It provides an important means of clearing accumulated waste and toxicity from the mind and the tissues, encouraging optimal health. These days, a periodic cleansing regimen is more vital to our health than ever before. Our bodies are being asked to process a seemingly endless barrage of harmful inputs such as environmental toxins, processed foods, unresolved emotions, and psychological stress. Over time, these stressors can cause toxicity to build up in the system, deposit in the tissues, and compromise our health. A periodic cleanse helps to clear these accumulations from the body.

This particular cleanse is based on eating a monodiet of whole grains and kitchari, drinking plenty of detoxifying fluids, and taking Triphala in the evening to support digestion, elimination, and the body’s natural detoxification processes. This regimen supports the physiology by slowing the flood of harmful inputs and by providing the body with an important opportunity to rest, recuperate, and repair itself.

A simple three-day cleanse can help to:

Improve digestion and metabolic function.

Promote regular and balanced elimination.

Support the maintenance of a healthy body weight.

Nurture an improved sense of energy, vitality, and enthusiasm for life.

Foster clarity and groundedness in the mental, spiritual, and emotional spheres.

Encourage a balanced sleep cycle.

Promote improved overall health.

The foods ingested during this cleanse are very easy to digest and therefore help to improve the strength of agni (the metabolic fire)—which is essential to optimal health. If the concept of agni is new to you, you might appreciate reading The Importance of Healthy Digestion: An Ayurvedic Guide to Understanding Agni, which will provide a useful context for your cleansing process.

Planning For Your Cleanse

The more completely you can clear your schedule for the entirety of your three-day cleanse, the better. More importantly, pick a time when you can minimize your exposure to stress. Ideally, you would not be working at all during the cleanse. If this is not realistic for you, we recommend scheduling the first day or two of your cleanse over your weekend so that you can get familiar with the diet and the routine before you are juggling the cleanse alongside work obligations. You’ll also want to avoid any social engagements that would make it difficult to maintain the simple diet prescribed below. In general, eliminate any unnecessary commitments and give yourself as much unstructured time to rest as possible. A menstruating woman should also schedule her cleanse around her cycle so that she is not bleeding at any point during the three-day cleanse.

Once you have found a workable timeframe, put your cleanse on the calendar and come up with a plan for acquiring the necessary supplies ahead of your start date (see our recipes and shopping lists at the end of this article). When the cleanse starts, you will want to focus your energy on the process of detoxification and renewal. In other words, aim to be finished running around gathering supplies by the time your cleanse begins.

If you are in the habit of taking coffee, caffeine, tobacco products, alcohol, or any recreational drugs on a regular basis, you may find it helpful to gradually reduce or eliminate their use in the days leading up to your cleanse. Similarly, reducing your intake of fast foods, processed foods, meat, refined sugars, and sweets ahead of the start date can be very beneficial. You might also consider enlisting the support of close friends or family members who know what you are up to, what your intentions are, and can help to encourage you through the process.

What To Expect

This three-day cleanse is generally safe for a diverse range of constitutions and imbalances (if you don't know yours, take our Ayurvedic Profile™ quiz). Still, any cleanse can be exhausting, emotionally taxing, and physically uncomfortable due to the nature of the detoxification process. This cleanse is extremely gentle and should not cause a great deal of discomfort, but you may still experience some ups and downs—on either emotional or physical levels.

The Cleanse Itself

During the three-day cleanse, you will be eating a simplified diet of oatmeal and kitchari. This diet is substantive enough that you can maintain your essential responsibilities while resetting the digestive system, supporting the elimination of toxins, and balancing vata, pitta, and kapha. Freshly prepared foods are best, so you’ll want to cook your oatmeal, kitchari, and teas fresh each day—at whatever time works best with your schedule. While you’ll want to avoid eating leftovers from previous days, it is acceptable to prepare all of your food for the day in the morning, if that works for you. Garnishes such as cilantro chutney and sesame seed chutney can usually be kept for several days without issue.

It is not uncommon to experience mild constipation during a cleanse. If your bowel movements slow in frequency or volume, or if your stools become more difficult to pass, please see our resource on how to remedy Constipation During a Cleanse. Healthy elimination is critical to the detoxification process, so it is best to be proactive about relieving any discomfort as soon as you are aware of it.

The Diet

In general, eat as much as is desired at each meal—enough to feel satisfied, but be careful not to overeat.

Eat Simple Oatmeal or Kitchari for breakfast.

Eat Kitchari for lunch and dinner, allowing at least three hours between meals.

You can garnish your kitchari with a little melted ghee, Fresh Coriander Chutney and Sesame Seed Chutney to ensure that your system stays well-lubricated and that you continue to enjoy all six tastes in your diet.

It is best to avoid snacking between meals, but if you need a little something extra, you can enjoy some fresh fruit or a few raw nuts.

If the monodiet is causing a sense of deprivation, you can try steaming your vegetables and serving them as a separate side dish, garnished with a little melted ghee, a squeeze of lemon juice, and a pinch of salt. Or, have a side of ½ avocado with lemon juice and a sprinkle of salt.

Try not to eat anything after 7 p.m.

Drink at least 8–12 cups of room temperature, warm, or hot fluids each day to ensure adequate hydration and to help flush toxins from the system.

Ideally, most of your fluids should be taken between meals.

Appropriate fluids include water, CCF Tea, Rehydration Tea, and detox teas; drink as much of any of these as you like.

The Daily Routine

Rise early enough to give yourself a spacious and relaxed morning.

Upon waking, scrape your tongue and brush your teeth.

Sip 8–16 ounces of hot water to cleanse the system and to awaken the digestive capacity.

Optional: Gentle Exercise

Take a bath or shower, using soap strategically (not all over the body).

After that, you’ll want to have plenty of time to prepare your breakfast, kitchari, and teas for the day without undue stress.

Eat Simple Oatmeal or Kitchari for breakfast (ideally between 7–8 a.m.).

Eat Kitchari for lunch (ideally between 12–1 p.m.).

Eat Kitchari for dinner (ideally between 5–6 p.m., but no later than 7 p.m.).

About a half hour before bed, take Triphala.

Retire for the night by 10 p.m.

Sleep is the body’s best time to detox so be sure to get plenty of rest throughout the cleanse.

Slow, gentle movements will support cleansing; more than that can be counterproductive.

This is not a time to push yourself physically.

Consider walking, tai chi, qigong, or gentle yoga such as vata-pacifying yoga (which is appropriate during a cleanse).

Steep ½ teaspoon Triphala powder in a cup of freshly boiled water for ten minutes. Cool and drink.

Or, take two Triphala tablets with a glass of warm water.

A Supportive Lifestyle During Your Cleanse

Keep your activities as quiet and mindful as possible.

Surround yourself with things that you find uplifting and nourishing.

Minimize stress and exposure to frantic or disturbing environments.

If intense emotions arise during or after your cleanse, greet your emotions with compassion, observe them with detached awareness, and allow them simply to move through—honoring yourself in the process.

REST as much as possible. You can ensure that the bulk of your energy is devoted to cleansing by minimizing the number of resources that your body allocates elsewhere.

After Your Cleanse

After you complete this simple, three-day cleanse, your body may continue to process toxicity for a few days. And, your digestive system will have become accustomed to a very clean diet; you may even be somewhat sensitive to overly stimulating or processed foods. A slowtransition back into your normal routine and a more diverse diet will help to preserve the benefits of your cleanse. For a couple of days afterwards, eat primarily simple, whole foods, gradually diversifying your menu. This is not the time to celebrate with pizza and a beer! Also, pay special attention to how you handle potentially aggravating foods like dairy, wheat, soy, and nightshades after your cleanse. Your body may have some new information to offer you about your relationship with specific foods.

A Fresh Start

While this cleansing model is incredibly short and simple, it can be quite powerful. According to Ayurveda, balanced agni is the key to optimal health and longevity. Our bodies are incredibly intelligent, and the three-day cleanse gives them an important opportunity to strengthen agni. So, while it may seem hard to believe, even a simple cleanse like this one can initiate dramatic improvements in the quality of your digestion and elimination, your cravings, your energy level, and your overall well-being.

As you wrap up the cleanse, take some time to reflect on your life so that you can move forward with whatever new intentions feel important to you. This is a potent time to cultivate a deeper level of inner awareness, to listen to your body, and to honor every aspect of your being as you transition out of the cleanse. You might also take some time to appreciate your body for all the ways it serves and supports you. Remember too, that you’ve offered yourself a valuable gift with this cleanse—one that requires a certain level of discipline and commitment. Congratulations on your accomplishment. We hope that it serves you in a multitude of gratifying ways.

Recipes

Remember that your food will absorb the energy of your mindset and state of being while you are cooking. You can assist your healing process by bringing good intentions and a sense of presence into your kitchen.

Simple Oatmeal

Kitchari is traditionally eaten three times a day during an Ayurvedic cleanse, but this simple oatmeal recipe is a good alternative, if preparing kitchari before breakfast is not realistic for you. This recipe can also provide a helpful break from the kitchari monodiet—which is especially important if you tend to tire of similar foods easily.

While fruit and grains are typically considered a poor food combination, oats are a particularly light grain and are generally quite digestible. The taste profile of oats also has a lot in common with these particular fruits, which makes them more compatible. In addition, when fruits and oats are cooked together, their more diverse qualities are able to mingle in a way that further improves their digestibility.

Ingredients

½ cup dry rolled oats

1½ cups water

¼ cups raisins

½–1 cup fresh apple, apricot, peach, or pear (cut into small pieces)

Optional Warming Spices

Combine the raisins, cut fruit, 1 cup water, and any desired spices in a small saucepan and bring to a boil on medium-high heat. Reduce heat and simmer for ten to fifteen minutes, or until the fruit is tender and well-cooked (apples may take a tad longer). Add the oats, the remaining ½ cup of water, stir, and return to a boil. When the mixture boils, stir thoroughly, remove from heat, cover, and let stand for five to ten minutes, until the oats are soft and the water is absorbed. Cool and serve.

Fruits by Dosha

For vata, favor apricots and peaches. For pitta, favor apples and pears. For kapha, any of the fruit is fine. If you are primarily focused on balancing kapha, you may also want to try this delicious kapha-pacifying modification: simply combine a couple of varieties of cut fruit, omit the oats and the second batch of water, follow the rest of the recipe as it is, and enjoy a breakfast of stewed fruit.

Spices by Dosha and Season

For vata, kapha, and cooler seasons, the optional spices offer a tasty addition of warmth to this dish. If there is pitta imbalance, favor cinnamon and cardamom, and consider reducing the quantity. For severe pitta imbalance (or if the season is hot) consider foregoing the spices altogether. The oatmeal with cooked fruit is surprisingly tasty on its own.

Tridoshic Kitchari

Kitchari is a stew-type meal that is prepared from basmati rice and split mung dal. During a cleanse, appropriate vegetables provide texture, flavor, and an important source of fiber. Kitchari is very easy to digest, which makes it a wonderful food for any cleansing regimen. It allows the digestive system to rest, allocating extra energy to the body’s natural detoxification processes. The quantities in this recipe provide a good starting point for a day’s supply of kitchari, but as you learn your preferences and habits, you are welcome to adjust the quantities to better fit your needs.

Ingredients

Soak the split mung dal overnight (or for at least four hours). Strain the soaking water, combine with the rice and rinse the mixture at least twice, or until the water runs clear, and set aside. In a medium saucepan or soup pot, warm the ghee over medium heat. Add the black mustard seeds, cumin seeds and sauté for a couple of minutes, until the mustard seeds begin to pop. Add the turmeric, coriander, fennel, hing, and fresh ginger. Stir briefly, until aromatic. Stir the rice and dal mixture into the spices and sauté for a few moments, stirring constantly. Add the 6 cups of water, turn heat to high, and bring to a boil. When the soup comes to a boil, stir in the salt, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for about forty minutes. Meanwhile, cut your vegetables into small, bite-sized pieces. About halfway through the kitchari’s cooking process, stir in the vegetables and allow the stew to return to a boil. Continue to simmer until the rice, dal, and vegetables are fully cooked. Remove from heat, cool, and serve. Note: some vegetables, such as sweet potatoes and winter squash, might require more cooking time and may be added earlier, if necessary.

Aim to have very little water remaining when finished. The consistency should be that of a vegetable stew as opposed to a broth. While you want the beans, rice, and vegetables to be thoroughly cooked, excess water and over-stirring can cause the ingredients to become thick and gummy. Garnish the kitchari with your choice of fresh cilantro, coriander chutney, and sesame chutney. Enjoy!

Fresh Coriander Chutney

This tridoshic recipe from The Ayurvedic Cookbook by Amadea Morningstar is very tasty and is especially useful for reducing excess pitta.

Ingredients

1 bunch (¼ pound) fresh coriander leaves and stems (also known as cilantro or Chinese parsley)

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

¼ cup water

¼ cup grated coconut

2 tablespoons fresh ginger root, chopped

1 teaspoon barley malt or raw honey

1 teaspoon natural mineral salt

¼ teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

Blend the lemon juice, water and fresh coriander until the coriander is chopped. Add the remaining ingredients and blend until it is like a paste.

Use sparingly. This chutney can be stored in a covered container in the refrigerator for up to one week. For a silkier texture, use only the leaves and the tops of the fresh coriander stalks.

Sesame Seed Chutney

This tridoshic recipe from Ayurvedic Cooking for Self-Healing by Usha and Vasant Lad, is especially good for people with vata and kapha imbalance. Reduce cayenne pepper to ¼ teaspoon if there is any pitta imbalance, or eliminate it entirely.

Ingredients

Blend ingredients together and garnish kitchari with about 1 teaspoon of the mixture.

Cumin, Coriander, Fennel TeaIngredients

3 cups of purified water

1 tablespoon CCF Tea

In a small pot, combine 1 tablespoon CCF Tea or 1 teaspoon each cumin, coriander, and fennel seeds with 3 cups of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let the tea simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat, strain, and serve! For a stronger brew, boil the tea for 10 minutes. Store the tea in a jar or in the refrigerator, but do not drink it cooler than room temperature.

Ingredients

Boil water. Remove from heat and add herbs, salt, and lime. Steep ten minutes, strain, add turbinado, and drink warm or at room temperature.

Shopping List

Amounts recommended are approximate and may need to be adjusted according to your needs.

Herbs & Products

While you will certainly have leftovers of any herbs you order for your cleanse, you can continue to take any of them after the cleanse to support further detoxification.

Groceries

Optional: Organic Rolled Oats (1½ cup or 6 ounces)

Optional: Raisins (¾ cup or 4½ ounces)

Optional: (1½–3 cups apple, apricot, peach, or pear)

Organic White Basmati Rice, (21 ounces)

Organic Yellow Mung Dal (12 ounces)

Organic Ghee, Clarified Butter—available at most health food stores (6 ounces)

Optional: Organic Roasted Sesame Seeds (1 cup per batch of sesame seed chutney)

Vegetables for Kitchari (6 cups total), such as:

Spices and garnishes to have on hand

Asparagus

Carrots

Celery

Green Beans

Summer Squash

Sweet Potato

Winter Squash

Zucchini

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