#char: guilermo the relentless

[ineffably-human]

I need Guillermo to have a full, five-alarm existential crisis next season. (He should have started it this season, but eh.)

What is he even supposed to do now? He's still doing these chores, why the hell is he dusting? It's nice to keep his hands busy but it doesn't shut his mind up. Sometimes he avoids Nandor for days. Sometimes he talks to him for days about absolutely nothing. Nandor's been so patient, he's really giving him time. Is he disappointed even though he said he wasn't? He probably wonders what the hell Guillermo is still doing there. Guillermo had accused him of being about to murder his mom in cold blood, just to be cruel, he should have known Nandor would never -

He should probably go see his mom, now than he can again. The last thing he did was hypnotize her, he doesn't want the last conversation with his mom to be hypnotizing her. He doesn't know if he can sit at that table again and talk about recipes and gas prices and fútbol teams and why he hasn't called lately. They're going to ask him how the promotion went. Oh fuck he has fourteen years of no work history. Has he done taxes? Does he even know how to do taxes? What's his credit score?

Did he do the right thing? Maybe there was a way around - no, it felt wrong, but everything else around it felt right. Why did it always feel like what he needed if it wasn't? Laszlo gave him this big book of supernatural creatures, like there's ones he's never heard of in his life, and that's sweet. But nothing's making sense yet like vampires did. Is that because of the slayer blood? Did he spend his whole life loving vampires because he's supposed to kill vampires? Is he never going to want anything else in his life the way he wanted this?

He still wants Nandor to bite him. Part of him still thinks that if Nandor bit him, everything else would have worked out. Maybe he just wants an excuse for Nandor to hold him. He's kissed like - two or three men ever, in his life? He's not even mad about that, he just wishes there had been more - no, not more. The right one.

He thought when he finally became like them, they'd start to look him in the eye and actually see him. But they're all looking at him more than ever. He doesn't know what to do with it. He doesn't know how to love them like this.

Oh god, he's probably going to die someday, unless he does something about it. Should he do something about it?

Why doesn't he know the answer to that?