#character: justin santoro

[flatbstanley]

Friday, 12:42 pm—Old Salt House, San Myshuno

Claire: Thank you so much for treating me to lunch, Justin! I just hope that no one sees us and thinks you're leading me to the near occasion of sin.

Justin: They won't. This is just a business lunch, and it's always right for the gentleman to treat the lady.

Claire: That's so sweet of you. There aren't many gentlemen around these days.

Claire: I really loved being on your podcast and getting to meet your daughter. Do you think she'd be interested in coming on my channel?

Justin: I'm sure she would. And she's also hoping to start her own channel for Catholic girls. Young girls, that is -- nothing that would compete with your target audience.

Claire (giggling): Well, I'm hardly an old lady! But that's wonderful to hear. The way our world is going, we can always use more godly role models. You must be so proud of her -- and of all your children!

Justin: Gia is a wonderful young lady, for sure. I'm sure she'll grow up to be strong in the Faith like you. I just hope that the rest of her siblings turn out okay. It's sad to say, but my wife hasn't been very good about teaching them correctly. My oldest son wants to quit altar serving because he says it gets in the way of soccer. And Gia's younger sister Zelie -- she's very musical, but instead of proper liturgical music, she wants to learn the guitar! Can you believe that?

Claire: Oh no! But with such a great dad and such a great older sister, I'm sure they'll turn out okay.

[Justin's phone buzzing repeatedly]

Claire: Do you need to take that?

Justin: It's nothing important. Anyway, we should go over a few topics for future collaborations...

Transcript of Taylor's texts:

I need you to pick up Ambrose and Zelie today

Kelly's in labor and I can't leave her until Alan gets here

Did you see my message?

Justin?

Hello?

JUSTIN THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

[hellstate--rp-blog]

The following people have joined the Hell State in hopes of surviving:

Arlo James Quill (Finn Wolfhard) – [Dahlia, your baby boy is finally here! But oh... he’s so much different than the way she described. Well, maybe not so much, but the loving little boy she described doesn’t seem like he’d be a little baby raider. Also I loved the line about being used to instant gratification because that’s so #Me. Bring on that mother-son reunion, y’all, I’m grabbing my tissues! Congrats on your second character, Anakin!]

Gabrielle Jackson (Madison Davenport) – [My favorite little church mouse,  you’ve returned! This time she doesn’t seem so... church-y, though. I guess it’s bound to happen when you’re living in Hell, yeah? I’m interested to see how her loss of faith shapes her interactions now... and yes, I definitely do want to see her reunite with Finn! Congrats on your third character, Lilith, and welcome back Gabrielle!]

Luciano “Luca” Santoro (Justin Baldoni) – [Hot damn, Luca is a looker, let me just get that out of the way. I love how much history you put into his bio, it really fills out Luca’s story and explains his intentions and Luciano is one of my favorite names. You know what? I think i just love all of Luca already. Good luck out there, buddy, and congrats on your new son, Astra!]

Saskiah Harlow (Serinda Swan) – [Make way for Saskiah and her beautiful eyes, y’all! I’m a fan of any type of government character but I especially like when we get an FBI agent! Saskiah may be a bit... standoffish but I think there’s a real wonderful woman underneath. Let’s see how her training helps her protect the Saddle Ridge camp—and herself. Welcome to the Hell State, Nohémie! (Your name is so pretty btw omg)]

Please be sure to send in your account within the next 24 hours, track all tags and follow everyone on this list. Remember to open up your ask and submit boxes so we can contact you and send you the link to the OOC blog.

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2rMnlst

A great many celebrities lead charmed lives. They can enjoy the finer things such as fast cars, expensive jewelry, and sprawling mansions. A lot of them have personal assistants and hangers-on that are at their beck and call. Of course, one of the perks that some of the biggest stars have is the ability to hook up with almost anyone at any time. Warren Beatty, Charlie Sheen, and Jack Nicholson are just a few of the many male stars that have been with more beautiful women than the average guy can ever dream of. It doesn’t matter if you are a young heart-throb or a past-your-prime senior citizen. If you are a star then you can fulfill your lustful fantasies. There is an obvious double standard that exists though. If you are a male star that is running around town with a new girl every night then you are considered a stud. If you are a woman that does the same thing then you are referred to in more colorful and less flattering terms. These derogatory monikers have been applied to such female celebrities as Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and even Taylor Swift. Female celebrities canoodling with multiple men is nothing new. Vintage starlets like Jean Harlow and Grace Kelly were notorious for their legendary sexual appetites and ever-changing partners long before today’s promiscuous female personalities were at it. Here are the 19 female celebs who’ve hooked up with the most gents around Hollywood.

#1 Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie is far from the most salacious character on this list but she’s still been around the block a time or two and with her new-found single status we can be sure that she will go around a couple more times before all is said and done. She was first married to Jonny Lee Miller from 1996-1999. During that time she was also apparently spending the night together with Mick Jagger, Timothy Hutton, and Jenny Shimizu. She then wed Billy Bob Thornton from 2000-2003 while at the same time being linked to Antonio Banderas and Nicolas Cage. She enjoyed the single life for a few years by hooking up with Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, and a guy you’ll see mentioned several times on this list, Colin Farrell. We then had Brangelina but that’s over now. Who’s up next?

#2 Pamela Anderson No list of Hollywood harlots would be complete without having Pamela Anderson on it but, believe it or not, her exploits are far tamer than most others on this list. She was discovered by accident when a cameraman at a football game in Vancouver zoomed in her as she sat in the crowd. She was seen on the Jumbotron and was immediately hired as a spokesmodel. This led to modelling which led to Playboy which led to bit parts in television shows and eventually to her breakout starring role in the Baywatch television series. She dated Mario Van Peebles, John Peters, Eric Nies, Scott Baio, David Charvet, and Vince Neil before marrying Tommy Lee of Motley Crue in 1995. After that marriage broke up she hooked up with Bret Michaels, Kelly Slater, Steven Dorff, some guy named Jamie Padgett, and Criss Angel. She also managed to squeeze in a short romance with Kid Rock. After marrying and divorcing Rick Salomon in 2015, Pamela is looking for her next conquest.

#3 Eva Longoria 42-year-old Eva Longoria landed a few bit parts on television beginning in 1999 before she got her big break with her role of Gabrielle Solis on Desperate Housewives. She has since appeared in dozens of movies and television shows as well as racking up a few producer credits. She’s also gone through quite a few different guys. Her first marriage to Tyler Christopher lasted from 2002 until 2004. She married Tony Parker in 2007 but that union fell apart in 2011 after the dark-haired beauty found several incriminating text messages on his phone. She is presently married to Jose Antonio Baston. She has also been in relationships with J.C. Chasez, Hayden Christensen, Eduardo Cruz, and Ernesto Arguello. She is rumored to have had a fling with Mark “Butt Fumble” Sanchez too.

#4 Jennifer Lopez J.Lo got some much-needed exposure as a Fly Girl in the television comedy In Living Color. She decided to pursue an acting career and she got a good break when she was given the lead in the movie Selena. She then began a recording career and she has never looked back. She is one of the most recognized faces in Hollywood. With all of the work that she does, it is hard to believe that she has found time to get involved with so many guys. She has been married to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd, and Marc Anthony but all of her marriages ended in divorce. She is presently dating Alex Rodriguez. She was once engaged to Ben Affleck but things didn’t pan out. Jenny from the block has tangled with Drake, Beau Casper Smart, Sean Combs, Wesley Snipes, and Chris Paciello as well as Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Bradley Cooper, and Rodrigo Santoro.

#5 Lindsay Lohan For someone who is just 30 years old, Lindsay Lohan has compiled an excessively long list of lovers. The ex-Disney starlet has been involved in relationships with both men and women including Aaron Carter, Jamie Dornan, Robbie Williams, and Heath Ledger. She has a soft spot for the older dudes as shown by her tumbles in the hay with Benicio Del Toro, Floyd Mayweather Jr., and Mr. Die Hard Bruce Willis. When she was in her early 20s she apparently had flings with James Franco, Jared Leto, Joaquin Phoenix, Jude Law, James Blunt, Gerard Butler, and Seth Rogen. Of course, Justin Timberlake, Criss Angel, and Colin Farrell got in on the action too as did Ryan Phillippe, Jason Segel, Orlando Bloom, and 50 Cent. There are literally dozens of Hollywood stars linked to LiLo. It’s not the size of the list that is so amazing as much as the fact that she hasn’t had any children yet.

#6 Jada Pinkett Smith This 45-year-old actress/singer/dancer saw her star rise in the early 90s with small television roles. She garnered a lot of attention when she was featured in The Nutty Professor in 1996. She began a singing career in 2002. She has been married to actor Will Smith for 2 decades but before she settled down with the Fresh Prince, Jada had romances with Tupac Shakur, Wesley Snipes, and ex-NBA player Grant Hill. She has described her marriage as “open”, which means that they both get to sleep around. There are also rumors circulating that Will is, in fact, bisexual and the marriage is in trouble. To add fuel to the fire, there were printed stories that Jada was caught in the sack with Marc Anthony. It is hard to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to the many rumors that surround this couple but the one sure fact is that it is a bizarre relationship.

#7 Megan Fox 31-year-old Megan Fox is one the world’s biggest sex symbols. The actress and model landed bit parts in television before landing a role in the movie Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen in 2004. Her big break happened in 2007 when she landed the part of Mikaela Banes in Transformers. She got hot and heavy with her co-star Shia LaBeouf. She also had relationships with Ben Leahy and David Gallagher in the early 2000s. In 2010, Fox married Brian Austin Green of Beverly Hills 90210 and Desperate Housewives fame. They have been together ever since. Despite being in several relationships, Megan Fox maintains that she has had sex with just 2 guys and has never entertained the thought of a one-night-stand. Yeah, right. She has also hinted that she is bisexual.

#8 Jessica Biel Jessica Biel got her start in the television show 7th Heaven in which she cultivated a wholesome image in her role of Mary Camden. She has gone on to star in a string of movies such as Ulee’s Gold, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Rules of Attraction, and Total Recall. She is currently filming her 33rd movie, Shock and Awe. Biel has been married to Justin Timberlake since 2012 and they have one child. Prior to settling down with JT, Jessica had her share of hot dates with the likes of Adam LaVorgna, Chris Evans, and Derek Jeter. We aren’t sure if the ex-Yankee left her a gift basket. It is also widely believed that she had a torrid romance with Gerard Butler as the two were seen cozying up in 2011.

#9 Demi Moore After her appearances in Blame it on Rio, St. Elmo’s Fire, and About Last Night…, Demi Moore became a household name. While she has been in a few flops, Demi has landed some great roles over her 30+ years in the business. She has landed her share of men too. The brunette married Freddy Moore back in 1980 but the two split after just 4 years. Moore and Emilio Estevez were engaged but they broke up in 1987 which led to her much-publicized marriage to Bruce Willis. That lasted 11 years before dissolving. She made headlines in 2005 when she married Ashton Kutcher but the fairy-tale romance ended in 2013. Demi has been intimate with many other guys like Dweezil Zappa, Brad Pitt, Owen Wilson, Tobey Maguire, and Alex Rodriguez among others. Of course, Colin Farrell got in there too.

#10 Mariah Carey This voluptuous diva has been in the spotlight for nearly 30 years and she has been the subject of many men’s fantasies. She may be in her late forties but she has maintained a bubbly and youthful appearance. Who cares if she has a good plastic surgeon? Mariah has put smiles on quite a few guys and we don’t mean with her singing or acting. She has been married to Tommy Mottola and Nick Cannon but she has a long list of others that she has been intimately linked to Christian Monzon, Mark Sudak, Erik Benet, and Mr. Gift Basket Derek Jeter. It is thought that she has hooked up with Eminem, Trey Songz and Stevie J. It has been reported that she is currently dating Bryan Tanaka. She sure gets around!!

#11 Alyssa Milano Milano hit it big in the 80s sitcom Who’s The Boss in which she played Tony Danza’s daughter, Samantha. She parlayed that role into a very successful career on the big screen as well as television. She’s also been around the block a couple of times when it comes to hooking up. She dated Kirk Cameron, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, David Arquette, Jonathan Silverman, Eric Nies, Scott Wolf, Jason Behr, Jimmy Federico, Justin Timberlake, Brian Krause, and lots of others including Mark Wahlberg. She must have tired of actors because she began a string of relationships with Major League Baseball pitchers Carl Pavano, Barry Zito, and Brad Penny. She was briefly married to singer Cinjun Tate but that union lasted just one year. She is currently married to David Bugliari. Hilariously enough, she wore white on her wedding day.

#12 Cameron Diaz Vincent D’Onofrio, Carlos De La Torre, Matt Dillon, Robbie Williams, Justin Timberlake, Jude Law, Kelly Slater, and Keanu Reeves are just some of the Hollywood stars that Cameron Diaz has had a romantic involvement with. She has also been linked to Alex Rodriquez, Sean “Puffy” Combs, and Tyrese Gibson. There’s something about Cameron! The Charlie’s Angels star is rumored to have had flings with Seth McFarlane, Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, Gerard Butler, Bradley Cooper, Ed Norton, Djimon Hounsou, Vince Neil, and Mr. Magic himself, Criss Angel. The blonde was engaged to Jared Leto back in 2002-2003 but things just didn’t seem to work out and the couple went their separate ways. She finally settled down in 2015 when she married Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden in Beverley Hills. We’ll see how long that lasts before she starts adding more notches to her bedpost. She’s only 44 so she has plenty of time.

#13 Halle Berry Halle Berry has been a fixture on the big screen since 1991 when she was given a small part in Jungle Fever. She has been in dozens of movies since including the X-Men franchise, Monster’s Ball, and Catwoman in which she looked especially hot. She’s been involved in several relationships. She married baseball player David Justice in the early 90s. That romance made headlines after accusations of domestic abuse. The two split in 1997. The smoking hot Halle married Eric Benet in 2011 but that matchup ended with divorce. She entered into a 5-year relationship with Gabriel Aubry before getting married for a third time to Oliver Martinez. In between her marriage, Berry has been romantically involved with Kevin Costner, Wesley Snipes, Christopher Williams and several others. Rumor has it she got down with Eddy Murphy too.

#14 Dolly Parton When people think of Dolly Parton, the first thing that comes to mind is her titanic vocal cords that have been belting out hits for decades. The curvaceous country singer has been married since 1966. Her husband, Carl Dean, has kept himself out of the public eye and is rarely seen with Dolly. He tends to stay home while Parton is on the road. This opens a lot of opportunities for infidelity. Although Parton has maintained a clean image, she has admitted to straying. She just hasn’t named names but it is widely believed that she has had affairs with band leader Gregg Perry, Sylvester Stallone, and Burt Reynolds. She has denied allegations of a lesbian affair with her assistant Judy Ogle. She is also rumored to have been involved with Billy Ray Cyrus and is Miley’s Godmother.

#15 Pink Alecia Moore, otherwise known as Pink, hit the scene in 2000 with her debut album Can’t Take Me Home. As it turns out, you actually can take her home and several guys have. The animal rights activist and LGBT supporter may have settled down after marrying Carey Hart in 2006 but she got around before hooking up with him. Actually, she may still get around as the two are allegedly in one of those “open” marriages. She is rumored to have gotten it on with Motley Crue drummer and all-around bad boy Tommy Lee as well as Anthony Criss. Todd Morse got the party started with her and Pink has even been romantically linked to women. Apparently, it just took an ice cream cone for Joey Fatone to briefly win her over.

#16 Jayne Mansfield Here is another blonde bombshell that packed a whole lotta love into a very short period of time. Jane Mansfield was one of the biggest sex symbols of the 50s and 60s and she loved to flaunt her best assets. She was 21 years old when she appeared on screen in her first film in 1955 and her last role came in 1967 just prior to her tragic death. She did a lot more than movies during her 12-year run. She had lots of sex with lots of guys. Her first marriage to Paul Mansfield lasted from 1950 to 1958 but she also found time during this period to canoodle with Clint Eastwood, Steve Cochran, George Jessel, and a host of others. After another infidelity-filled marriage to Mickey Hargitay, she married Matt Cimber in 1964 but she soon ran off with her attorney. Colin Farrell would have really loved her.

#17 Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe is probably one of Hollywood’s most famous sex symbols. She was just a teenager when she began modelling in 1944. This led to film work and she was soon a star. By the early 50s, she was all over the big screen in roles that cultivated her image as a blonde bimbo. Her off-screen life was legendary as she was romantically linked to dozens of powerful figures like Howard Hughes, mobster Sam Giancana, and John and Bobby Kennedy. She bedded an impressive roster of Hollywood actors like Frank Sinatra, Marlon Brando, Uncle Miltie, Dean Martin, and Yul Brenner. Robert Mitchum, Eddie Fisher, James Dean, and John Huston. She got it on her a few women too including Elizabeth Short, otherwise known as the Black Dahlia. She had dozens of intimate relationships before she died at the age of 36. Some like it hot. Marilyn sure did!

#18 Joan Crawford Joan Crawford is one of the silver screen’s biggest names ever. Her film career started in 1925 during the silent era and by 1930 she was one of the industry’s most recognizable names. She was in over 80 films over a 45-year span. She was also in over 80 relationships. She was married several times but she had all sorts of lovers on the side. Walter Winchel, Spencer Tracy, Rudy Vallee, Cesar Romero, Jackie Cooper, Humphrey Bogart, and Robert Mitchum are just scratching the surface. She even bedded Howard Hughes. You can also put down Claudette Colbert, Dorothy Arzner, Barbara Stanwyck, and allegedly Marilyn Monroe as well. That’s right!! She liked women too. Other notable Hollywood heavyweights like Kirk Douglas, Cary Grant, and Gary Cooper found their way into her arms. She even straightened out Rock Hudson in 1953.

#19 Tallulah Bankhead Tallulah isn’t the most famous name on the list of 15 female celebs who’ve hooked up with the most gents around Hollywood but she might be one of the most notorious sex fiends. She appeared in many Broadway shows, movies, and on television. She is also well-known to have had an insatiable sexual appetite that led to numerous encounters with some of the most famous men and women in Hollywood. She was involved with no less than 68 partners including Errol Flynn, Louis Armstrong, Yul Brenner, Groucho Marx, Burgess Meredeth, and Humphrey Bogart as well as Jimmy Durante, Chico Marx, John Barrymore, and Douglas Fairbanks. She is even rumored to have had a fling with Winston Churchill. She was married between 1937 and 1941 but, let’s face it, Tallulah wasn’t really a one-man kind of gal.

Source: TheRichest

[flatbstanley]

Friday, 8:47 pm

Taylor: Welcome home. Finally.

Justin: What’s your problem? I was just at a business meeting.

Taylor: I go to a lot of business meetings too, Justin. But they’ve never involved going on Simstagram and posting photos that makes it look like I was on a bad first date instead. Which is what your "business contact" just did, by the way.

Taylor: And you know what else I've never done at a business meeting? I've never ignored an emergency text or call from you. And I’ve never forgotten about our children!

Justin: You can't expect me to pay attention to your stupid little whims when I’ve got important work to do. You're just overreacting, like a typical female. And for your information, it was a lunch meeting, and I haven't had dinner yet. I think it's time for you to make me some.

Taylor: You know what I think it's time for, Justin? I think it's time for you to get out of my house.

Justin (offscreen): What the hell do you mean, get out of your house? I made the money for the goddamn down payment while you were playing with your silly little videos!

Taylor (offscreen): And those silly little videos have been paying the mortgage and all the other bills ever since you got yourself fired! Not to mention that I'm the one who cooks and cleans and takes care of the kids!

Justin (offscreen): Oh, you do? Then why is the house such a shitty mess? And why are the kids always parroting some secular liberal crap? I should take them and go someplace where people really believe in the teachings of the Church and they won't get all of this woke nonsense. Like Chestnut Ridge. At least that way I’d have somebody to back me up in raising them right!

Taylor: If you want to go to Chestnut Ridge, fine. You can leave tonight. But if you want to take the kids, my lawyer will have something to say about that.

Justin: Lawyer? You're making the biggest mistake of your life, woman.

Taylor: No, Justin. The biggest mistake of my life was marrying you.

[flatbstanley]

From Claire's Simstagram (@.just.catholic.girl.things):

Today I had the pleasure of meeting Justin Santoro (@.quotidianum) and getting to know him better! Justin's videos have been such an inspiration for my faith and I am so excited to share his insights with my audience. Look for some collabs coming soon on both our channels!!!

[flatbstanley]

Saturday, 11:06 am — Willow Creek Hospital

Officer: Mr. Santoro? I’m Sergeant Birch. Why don’t you take a seat and tell me a little about what’s going on here.

Justin: I’m so sorry, officer. It’s just that my wife and kids left home without telling me, and I’m desperate to know where they are.

Officer: Hmmm…when was the last time you saw them?

Justin: My wife and I had a little bit of a disagreement last night—maybe 9 pm? I went to a motel to give her some space to cool off, and when I came back this morning, she and the kids were gone. I’ve tried calling and texting her, but nothing’s going through.

Officer: And what brought you to the hospital? Did you think someone was hurt?

Justin: No, nothing like that. My wife’s best friend just had a baby, and I thought she'd come by to visit today. Look, I know this looks pretty bad—I shouldn’t have shown up here, especially not the way I did. But I just wanted to get hold of my wife and make sure my kids were okay.

Officer: Just to be clear, your wife is the biological mother of all the children?

Justin: She is.

Officer: And you’re married, not separated? No custody orders or anything like that?

Justin: Yes, we’re happily married. We just had a silly argument that got overheated.

Officer: All right. Well, since she’s the children’s mother, she does have the right to take them out of the house. If she’s gone for a long period of time, or if you have a reason to think the children are in danger, there are steps we can take to locate them. But for now, my advice is to let this whole thing blow over. Based on my experience, she’ll be crawling back pretty soon.

Justin: I understand.

Officer: I’m not going to book you for trespassing or anything like that. But the guy who called was pretty upset, so it’s probably best for everyone if you leave.

Justin: I will. But I can call you guys again if they don't come back, right?

Officer: Sure, sure. But I bet your wife'll be back soon enough. Women, am I right?

Justin: You're telling me. Have a nice day, officer.

[A good officer might have dug a little deeper into this situation. Unfortunately, Alan got the slimebag who's more interested in getting back to his coffee break.]

[flatbstanley]

Friday, 4:15 pm - St. Petronella School

Ambrose: Zelie? Will you tell me if you see Dad's car coming?

Zelie: Okay! Are you reading another book he doesn’t like?

Ambrose: Yeah, the last Henry Puffer book.

Ambrose: Dad did a big podcast about how kids should never read Henry Puffer because it has witchcraft. Some people even burned the books when they first came out. I don’t know for sure that Dad would do that, but I don’t want to take chances. Poppy let me borrow this, and she needs it back.

Zelie: But all that stuff is just pretend, right? Nobody really thinks wizards are real. Doesn’t Dad know that?

Ambrose: …I hope he does, but I don’t know.

Ayla: Hey there, guys. What are you still doing here? I thought your mom would have picked you up by now.

Zelie: Mom called the school and said she’s at the hospital with Aunt Kelly. Dad is supposed to pick us up, but he isn’t here yet.

Ayla: Well, it’s getting late. Just about all of the teachers have headed out, and it's not safe for you to be here alone. Let me give your dad a call.

Meanwhile…

Claire: I could talk to an interesting person like you for hours. Wouldn't you like to have another drink?

Justin: Why not? I don’t have anywhere I need to be.

[flatbstanley]

Taylor: Justin, how could you? The kids' tuition payments are due next month, the utilities will be going up for the winter —

Justin: Look, you keep telling me that your little job is a good idea because it brings in sooo much money. So take that money and pay for some of this shit!

Taylor: I'm already paying for most of it! You just never cared until now! And on top of that, you've lost our health insurance. Do you have any idea what it will cost to buy that for us and five kids?

Justin: Who needs health insurance, anyway? Doctors are just a bunch of pill pushers propped up by big pharma.

Taylor: But my heart condition...and we were counting on your policy to cover the genetic testing for the kids...

Justin: Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. Losing my job was a blessing. It'll give me more time to focus on my podcast ministry.

Taylor: But your podcast doesn't bring in much—

Justin: Shut up! Maybe if you'd stop all that moping that females like to do, you'd see it for the blessing it is!

[flatbstanley]

Justin: This is Justin Santoro with Quotidianum, your daily guide to the Holy Catholic Church. Today we’ll be discussing the role of women in the Church. To that end, I’ve invited two outstanding young women to join me: my daughter, Gianna, and Claire Newton from the podcast “Catholic Girl Things.” Claire, why don’t you start us off by telling us a little about yourself.

Claire: Sure! Thanks so much for having me! So I grew up Catholic, but in a very, like, liberal way. My parents were always telling my sister and me that we could do anything a boy could do. We were even altar servers! I got to a point where I was like, “If men and women are equal, why can’t I be a priest?”

Justin: That’s something that so many people get wrong. Women and men have separate roles to play. They are not equivalent. Women are the givers of life and the nurturers, while men are the ones that Christ chose to lead his Church.

Claire: Exactly! But it took me a really long time to get that. When I was in high school, though, I started listening to some great Catholic podcasts. Quotidianum was one of them, actually! That was when I realized it was better to embrace what God gave me rather than trying to be a man.

Gia: I'm glad you said that, because I think it’s really important. Girls my age get so offended when somebody tells them that they can’t be exactly like boys. They start shouting about women’s rights and all. But thinking about what you can't have just makes you miserable, and you can miss out on the great opportunities that God's given you. For example, if I were set on being an altar server, I never would have gotten involved with embroidering the altar cloths at our church. That's a great job for women, and I absolutely love it!

Two hours earlier...

[flatbstanley]

Father Jim: Justin, I certainly understand that some people have concerns about Halloween. I myself have seen things that made me very uncomfortable—

Justin: Devil worship should make us more than uncomfortable!

Father Jim: But our fall festival is just a chance for families to have some innocent fun. Pumpkin carving, marshmallow roasting, apple picking—I have wonderful memories of this sort of thing from when I was a boy! And I’m sure you’ve seen our costume guidelines—

Justin: If the kids are going to dress up at all, it should be as the saints! Everybody’s going to come to this ridiculous celebration, but how many of them are going to show up to Mass on November 1?

Father Jim: I understand what you’re saying there. And if your children would like to dress as saints, either for the festival or for Mass on All Saints Day, I definitely encourage that! But for now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to, ah, balance the parish budget. Have a great afternoon!

(A/N: Father Jim is not the type to tap into the sacramental wine, but he strongly considered it after this conversation.)

[flatbstanley]

From Justin's Simstagram account (@.quotidianum):

Ready to go out and stand up for the RIGHT TO LIFE!!! My two youngest do not yet have the fortitude to stand in protest all day (and I'm certainly not carrying them!), so they will remain at home with a babysitter. But they are still sporting the pro-life shirts I purchased from a God-honoring Plopsy shop!

[flatbstanley]

Justin's post on ChurchTriumphant.com:

Glory be to God! Our new pastor has decided to offer the Traditional Latin Mass at our parish! Naturally, he will need well-trained altar servers to assist, and he has asked me to be one of the first. I am looking forward to bringing my sons into this ministry at a later date! The young ladies of our parish will no longer be serving at the altar (as is proper), but our pastor has made plans for them to participate in another reverent activity: caring for the altar cloths and embroidering new ones!

[flatbstanley]

From Taylor's Simstagram (@.taylorgrace):

First day of school photos are always bittersweet—I can't believe how much my kids are growing! Gia is in seventh grade, starting her two years of confirmation prep. Max is switching classes for the first time as a fifth grader, and Ambrose has joined my sweet friend Kelly in the third grade! As for Zelie, you would not believe how thrilled this little one is to be starting kindergarten! She was literally vibrating with excitement this morning!

Catholic school is definitely an expense, and I sometimes get questions from other mamas asking if it's worth it. My answer is a wholehearted YES! There is nothing better than knowing that my babies are in an environment where they are supported, loved, and growing in their faith!

From Taylor's prayer journal:

Lord, sending my kids off for another year at St. Petronella's makes me think of how awful it would feel to disrupt their lives. They have friends, they seem to enjoy what they're studying...and more than anything, I know they're safe. But my lawyer can't guarantee that I'll be able to keep them in the same house and the same school if I leave Justin. I’ll try my best, but...will my kids still be okay in a different school? Will they hate me for destroying everything they know?

I'm not as naive as I was when I first thought about divorce, Lord. I know Justin doesn't want to change—he made that clear when he lost his mind about the possibility of counseling. But even if things aren't going to get better, I don't want them to get worse. I feel so stuck. Please show me what will be best for my children, and give me the courage to act on it.

[flatbstanley]

Tuesday, 9:18 pm

Taylor: Honey? Today I went to confession, and Father Jim said that I should look for a counselor —for me, and for us as a couple. I've been thinking about it, and it seems like a good idea. Will - will you go with me?

Justin: He told you to find a counselor as your penance?

Taylor: That's what he said, yes.

Justin: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Penance is supposed to be about making up for your sins! Why should I have to go to counseling to make up for what you did?

Taylor: But maybe it could help us to have a better marriage? To communicate better?

Justin: Those damn counselors just tell you to blame your problems on someone else rather than fixing them. No way in hell I'd go to one. And it's a good thing that old hippie won't be our pastor anymore. Next time you go to confession, hopefully we'll have a priest who makes you do actual penance. Go say a rosary or something, and forget about this counseling thing.

[flatbstanley]

From Taylor's Sims.tv channel:

Taylor: Sul sul, it's Taylor! Today I have my husband Justin with me -- you may recognize him from his video podcast, Quotidianum. We'll be talking about a subject that's very close to our hearts: natural family planning, or NFP.

Justin: Let's get this straight, folks: NFP is not the same as birth control. Birth control is a rejection of the gift of life. Every time you engage in the marital act, there is the possibility that a new life will be created. When you use NFP, you remain open to that possibility, but you manage the gift of life in a responsible way. And if you ask me, taking responsibility for your actions is something that we have far too little of in today's society.

Justin: And let's talk about the consequences of birth control. My wife used the pill before we met, and it breaks my heart to think of the little lives that she may have ended by taking those abortifacients. Not to mention all the damage she may have done to her hormones.

Taylor: Thankfully, that's in the past, and I know that God has forgiven me. As has my husband, of course.

Taylor: But Justin is correct that putting synthetic hormones into your body can have negative consequences. I'm very careful about the food and drinks I put into mine and my kids' bodies -- and eventually I realized that I should be just as careful about medications!

Taylor: Today I'm going to show you the NFP method that we use, which is called the Britechester method. As you can see, it involves some charting, but it's super simple! Better yet, if you go to their official website, you can use my code NFP10 for 10% off of your first order of supplies! Let's get started...

[flatbstanley]

9:29 a.m — Obscure Logistics

Dandre: Justin, come in and have a seat. This is Megumi Ito from HR and Katie Dalton from legal. They’ll be joining us today.

Justin: …Katie Connolly? You work here?

Katie: It’s Katie Dalton now. And yes, I’ve worked here for two years.

Dandre: Well, there’s no way to sugarcoat this, Justin. We’ve called you here today to tell you that Obscure Logistics is letting you go. Although you’ve had two previous warnings, dated—

Justin: I knew it! You’re firing me for not sacrificing my religious beliefs to serve your woke ideology!

Dandre: Let me finish. Although you’ve had two previous warnings, dated April 17 and July 24, your metrics have consistently fallen short of expectations. The rest of the team has had to pick up your slack, which isn’t fair to—

Justin: You’re discriminating against me because my faith won’t let me bow down to your distorted views on pronouns. You’ll be hearing from my attorney!

Megumi: …Katie?

Katie: Oh, um, right. A competent attorney won’t find, um, that you have an actionable claim. You’re being terminated for, erm, performance-based reasons, and you won’t find any cases of non-Catholics being treated differently....

Justin: I can’t believe you’re on their side! You were in my FACTS group at UBrite! You used to be a Catholic!

Katie: And—and I still am, for the record. Just not the kind of Catholic that FACTS—

Megumi: Let’s not bring anyone’s religion into this. Justin, your last paycheck will be deposited on—

Justin: Forget about it, all of you! I hope you enjoy roasting in hell!