#clownbastard yapping

[clownbastard]

Haven't drawn or watched the shows in almost two weeks because I was obsessively playing dead by daylight and minecraft to escape my thoughts. Sorry about that, lmao-

I have a few ideas, so I'll make some new drawings soon! In the meantime, have whatever this is, I guess :p

[clownbastard]

Because of all that's happening on laes rn, I was just thinking about Lunar's and Earth's relationship as if I'm not depressed enough, LMAO-

But like, grieving the fact that the friend you once cherished so much feels so distant now even though you understand it's for the better. The sadness of realizing that your relationship will never be the same no matter what you do, you can't fix it or undo the harm... AUGHHH.

Also that we can see both sides of the coin, Lunar's guilt and longing for what once was, and Earth's sadness but acceptance that things can't never be the same again.

The awkwardness while talking with each other, every word from Lunar's mouth sounding like it's hiding a quiet apology, the defeat in Earth voice because she's too tired to fight for everyone else's comfort instead of her own... It all feels so painfully realistic and makes me want to fkn bawl!!! Growing apart, no matter for what reason, is a storyline that always grabs me by my heart and rips the old wounds wide open once again.

[clownbastard]

Depression been kicking my ass recently, so I procrastinated watching the recent eaps episodes because I knew it's gonna mess me up... And wouldn't you know, it did mess me up! ���

I'm so sad that Matt won't be a part of the show anymore but I'm glad he gave us heart shattering angst on his way out. I'm gonna miss treasurebox...

Also, new puppet is really cute, and it's so bittersweet. I have a bit of a hard time distinguishing her and Ballora's voice, but I'm sure Charlie's voice will develop along with her personality as the time goes on

[clownbastard]

Hot take time: The shows themselves have a problem with misogyny, so it's not really surprising that ever so often, part of the audience attacks the female characters for no apparent reason.

From frequent use of words like bitch and bimbo to verbal sexual harassment being shown just for laughs, it's all feeding into this cycle of hate even if unintentionally. When criticizing the behavior of the audience, we should also analyze the source material and how it might be partially to blame for the way they feel emboldened to say this misogynistic shit. Especially since this fandom is filled with minors who don't always think critically about the stuff they're watching and are still building their worldview.

[clownbastard]

Do you have headcanons for the characters of the shows? If so, could you put 1 headcanon for each character so far??

I have quite a lot of headcanons actually! ^^ Most of them are pretty small and insignificant, but here are some more interesting ones:

Sun- Whenever his mental state gets really bad, he likes to get wine drunk and rewatch the same 3 films that always make him cry.

Moon- Reads dumb fanfics about their show when he's bored and sends the funniest parts into the family group chat, acting like it's something they actually did.

Lunar- Struggles with maladaptive daydreaming.

Earth- Tends to fall into different rabbit holes while watching tiktok and documents all her findings in a designated notebook before infodumping to Monty.

Solar- Struggles with chronic nightmares and feels a bit ashamed of it, so he never talks about it.

Nexus- Struggled with hallucinations until the day he died. At first, they were pretty realistic, but the longer he took NSP, the more distorted and disturbing they became.

Eclipse- Deals with passive suicidal ideation while also being terrified of dying.

Jack- Picks up rocks that he finds cool and leaves them all over the house, Sun isn't a fan of this lol.

Ballora- In her free time, she learns to sew because she really wants to start making her own clothes in the future.

[clownbastard]

Okay, i need to yap about the new laes episode and the current arc or else I'll explode...

I'm sorry but I hate the whole "get over your abuse" thing that's going on right now.

Like I understand that it's a big problem because of Lunar's powers but aggressively telling him to deal with it doesn't sit right with me. Also don't like the way Moon points out that he had a year and a half to get over it like that's more than enough time for an abuse survivor to be healed when there's no set time frame for that stuff. Especially because he didn't have anyone who would guide him through healing process at the start so he learned to cope by shutting down his emotions and practically dissociating while running, so now he has to unlearn that before properly healing. But oh, Lunar is so mean by pointing out Moon's inability to express emotions!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he should be completely let off the hook without any consequences for what he did but he clearly needs help. He for sure won't get it from the god-wannabe astrals because they don't understand emotions and it seems like he won't get it from his family either... But hey, at least they reassured him that he's still part of the family instead of cutting him off like they did with Nexus.

I feel like the "get better on your own because your discomfort makes us uncomfortable" approach isn't the best way to deal with it. Maybe I'm just projecting with this whole thing, I don't know.

[clownbastard]

*looking at the nexus fanart* QwQ okay you won me over, talk about the au please

Okay, so I hope you're ready for a barely coherent yap session x]

In this au, Solar and Sun are way more determined to get Nexus back to the good side, and they want to avoid killing him at all cost. Because of that, he gets to live a lot longer than in canon, pumps himself with even more nsp, so his body starts to slowly break apart, but his deteriorating mental state makes him unable to care. Sun gets more magic training from Atlas, who teches him how to temporarily make a strong enough barrier to block Nexus' powers while Solar tries to convince Astrals to help them take the nsp out of Nexus. Astrals agree after a bit of negotiations, but they're suspecting that he's gonna die during that process.

They wait for Nexus to confront them again in the main universe so Dark Sun can't interfere. While Sun is using his magic, Solar manages to tackle Nexus to the ground, horrified to see how easily his body breaks under a faintest punch. Solar takes out his chip for a bit (risking him never waking up, so the whole situation is awfully stressful), and they wait for one of the astrals to arrive. To avoid him attacking them as soon as he wakes up, Taurus decides to take him to space prison to suppress the nsp and Solar goes with him since he's the one who knows how to safely put the chip back in. He doesn't wake up right away, but Taurus starts purifying the nsp, not really caring if Nexus is alive since he's expecting him to die during the procedure either way.

Nexus doesn't react at all so Solar is convinced that he's just staring at the corpse of his old best friend but as soon as he tries to pick him up, Nexus wakes up with an agonizing scream. All his pain is unfiltered now, making it hard to move, and he appears to be still hostile but really confused. He's not much of a danger in this state, so Solar just tries to calm him down, relieved to see him alive but disappointed that he's not back to his old self. Taurus sends them back to the house, they reunite with Sun and try to think of a way to deal with this situation now since Nexus still resents them all. They lock him in a room for a while (nothing better than getting retraumatized after near death experience, lol), and try to convince him to at least let them help repair his body. Reluctantly, Nexus let's them fix him up, but only if they let him leave right after because he wants nothing to do with them. There is still a lot of hurt and resentment from both sides, but Sun is holding onto hope that they will be able to mend the relationship even a little bit... the same can't be said about Solar, tho.

After Nexus is fixed, he leaves without a word to a random dimension, completely unsure what to do with himself now. Having failed to be a good guy before, and now having proven to be a failed villain as well, he feels utterly hopeless. As he's aimlessly walking around in this unfamiliar to him dimension, he catches the attention of Mercury (my oc), and it decides to strike a conversation. At first, Nexus tries to push them away, but they're persistent, and he slowly gets tired of this loneliness. Days go by, and Nexus finally starts to slowly open up about everything that happened to him.

Luckily for him, he ended up in a dimension where animatronics are seen as equal to humans, so Mercury convinces him to go to therapy.

Meanwhile, Sun continues to be worried about Nexus' well-being while Solar gets increasingly worried that he's gonna try his whole villain thing once again and they might be in danger. Sun secretly tracks down Nexus and decides to confront him, hoping that now, after so much time has passed, he's gonna be willing to talk. Without telling anyone, he goes to find him, and soon they stand face to face, both worried that the other might try to enact revenge. After so much therapy, Nexus doesn't feel much anger but he's still not in the best mental state so he speaks up first, telling Sun that if he came to ensure he's no longer a danger to him and his family, he can ensure him that he's not planing anything but he also understands if Sun just wants to get rid of him for good... and is more than willing to die at the hands of his former brother. Sun just runs up to hug him, making Nexus scared for a moment that this is the end for him. He's relieved to find out that Sun just really missed him and he's actually not here for revenge. They have really long, emotional talk and decide to work on mending their relationships but acknowledge they're never gonna be a family again, just friends.

I think it's too long already, so I'll end it here, kudos to you if you read all that LMAO-

Also, if you want to know more about his relations with other characters or want me to draw one of the scenes from this, feel free to leave that in my inbox! :>

[clownbastard]

Please yap more about your au please!

Gladly! I'm actually going to draw some things for this au, and I already have two comics in progress, first meeting between Nexus and Mercury + how Solar found out that Sun is in contact with Nexus! :]

Sun didn't tell his family that he reconnected with Nexus for a long while and kept telling them that he's going to train with Atlas whenever he went to meet with him. That wasn't a problem for Nexus since he still hates Moon, and Sun told him that Solar thinks of him as a threat. Nexus slowly heals and learns to be better, but he still has trouble with his anger, especially at the start. One small trigger, and he starts yelling and saying things he may not mean but knows will hurt the other person. Sun is trying to be patient with him and just lets him scream at him since he still feels guilty for how he treated him back when he was a New Moon. Overtime Nexus learns to control his emotions a bit better so Sun finally reintroduces him to Dazzle and he becomes something of an uncle to her, babysitting her whenever Sun has something important to do and his family is busy. He tries extremely hard to be the best version of himself when he takes care of her because he really doesn't want to scare her or make her dislike him. Also, Mercury introduces her to some animatronic kids from the neighborhood, so she gets some new friends!

Now, a little bit about my character Mercury :>

Mercury was made to be a daycare attendant like Sun and Moon but in a different establishment. They were a later addition to three preexisting animatronics that were already working for that daycare, and it was programmed to be more knowledgeable about psychology and resolving conflicts because the higher-ups were tired of the constant arguments between the older animatronics. The animatronics only just started getting recognized as sentient beings at the time, so it still remembers the time before they were just a normal part of society.

On the surface, they seem pretty extroverted and happy-go-lucky, always the first to start conversations with strangers and more than happy to help others. But like all of my ocs, it has a lot of issues under the surface LMAO.

Mercury allowed Nexus to stay in its apartment because he didn't know anyone there and had no money for temporary stay. They have a well paying job as acrobatics teacher and didn't mind sharing their space with someone who clearly needed help. At first Nexus was still trying to present himself as bigger than life type of person, being snapy and pretending that he doesn't care about anything but Mercury didn't see that as a much of a problem and just let him be. But since Nexus can't stop himself from ranting at any given moment (just like in canon lol), Mercury quickly learns more about his past and finds a way to connect with him.

I still need to think of a name for this au x]

[clownbastard]

Do you have some ideas for the shows to focus on? Maybe character arc ideas? Different dimension ideas?

Well, I would really like to see them revisit the idea of Dazzle meeting her parents, I think that could be pretty interesting. Would she want to go live with them or want to stay with Sun? And would they be mad at Sun, or would they understand that their kid is practically an immortal child now, and it's better for her to stay among the animatronics?

Also, now that we know that Nexus is back, I would like them to make him an actual threat. Let him keep his cringe and edgy personality so that when he does something cruel and efficient, it completely catches the celestial family off guard.

I know the femme night's at Freddy's only just started, and it's still slowly introducing us to the characters, but I would like to learn more about Sunny's and Moonie's past. I'm actually unsure if they were made like all the other Sun and Moon animatronics, but if so, i want to know if Moonie was abusive and filled with rage when they were sharing a body like most other Moons and how did they worked through that.

And for the dimensions, I would like to see one where Creator succeeded at making Sun and Moon obey him. One where he doesn't work for the creator council and just wants to rule the world. I know it's pretty impossible after what Ruin did, but whatever. It would be pretty interesting to see that dimension's Sun and Moon being shocked that the show's celestial family hates Creator, since they're practically see him as a god. They're not blood thirsty maniacs, but they're just brainwashed to think that they're killing humans for the greater good.

[clownbastard]

Quick thing about the current laes situation, ig

I've been lucky enough to move in the spaces where I didn't see much of vile hate towards the female characters but I don't doubt that it's awful. It doesn't help that it seems like we're in the era of internet where everyone is much more... harsh? Mean? You can find awful and hateful comments behind every corner, emboldened by the anonymity of a randomly named account.

It was honestly heartbreaking to hear that all this hate made Kat cry. I really hope that she feels better soon, she doesn't deserve any of this and her voice acting is phenomenal.

And if you feel bitter about Davis' statement then you might be the problem, reflect on yourself. He made it clear what kind of "fan" he was speaking about and if you don't act that way, it's not about you. It's also our responsibility to take care of the community, make sure to challenge your friends point of view if you see them acting in an awful way. And if there's nothing that can make them rethink their behavior, make sure to let them know that they're the outlier, that they're not welcome in this space.

But I also want to say that I fear it might discourage the more level-headed people from criticizing the show. And I don't want that because it's to be expected that this situation will make some of the awful "fans" be even more angry and loud, and we need to drown out these voices. Even though we get to watch the show for free, constructive criticism should always be welcome. Of course, insults and name-calling towards the characters or, god forbid, the voice actors are unnecessary and only make your criticism seem childish, but we shouldn't be discouraged from expressing our feelings.

[clownbastard]

Do you want to rant a little bit about the shows?

I like see people yappin about their passions and also their ranting could be funny

Wellllll, if you insist, LMAO-

I'm gonna start with tsams and the whole Nexus thing because goddamn does it make me crazy whenever I think about it! He was such a lovable character back when he identified as New Moon and we were able to cheer for him as he tried his best to be a good brother while also struggling to deal with the situation he was put into. It wasn't some offscreen crap like Old Moon's progress in becoming better. And then they decided to ruin it all and make him suddenly abandon all his previous principles while heavily implying that he's beyond help, like what??? All before Dark Sun even took some stuff from his head, so it didn't make any sense! Then they let Moon belittle Nexus and what he did when he was still with the family, and it made Moon's character insufferable to me for quite a while. And now Nexus is back with some voices in his head, making him an even more tragic character, but they don't explore it and just shove him into a different dimension so he can suffer alone and offscreen... I could write on and on about how I interpret him as such a tragic character while the show tries its best to make him a shallow character tbh.

When it comes to eaps, I feel like I only find Ruin to be rant worthy. I hate that guy with a passion to be completely honest. (I know a lot of people love him and I completely understand that and I'm happy for them so please don't take it as an attack on you, it just a difference in opinion.) It pisses me off that whenever someone is trying to talk to him about the fucking genocide he committed he's like: "omg I already explained this so many timesssss, can y'all get over it alreadyyyy", but Eclipse mentions virus once and he's suddenly all serious talking about some "don't ever mention that word around me again 🤬"! Like HELLO??? I can't believe they decided to keep him around without him suffering any real consequences and decided to just cover his insufferable presence in some tragic yaoi. Like, I don't give a fuck about your tragic gay love when you killed so many lovers in your pursuit of revenge!!!

I haven't watched Femme night's at Freddy's in a while and just saw the thumbnails, but I'm just really disappointed that a lot of the videos revolve around romance. We finally get some more girls on screen, but we don't get to see them visit different dimensions and fool around like the guys on tsams. Maybe that's because I'm on aroace spectrum, and love doesn't really interested me that much unless it's entangled in a heavy dose of angst, but it's really boring to watch for me. Also, I hate Roxas, they made him so fkn insufferable to watch to the point his voice alone makes my blood boil in an instant, lol. So idk if I even want to catch up on the lore.

[clownbastard]

Do you guys fw my Nexus inspired outfit in dead by daylight? Can't make a cosplay, so this is the next best thing, lol.

[clownbastard]

I like your Cetus design, did you inspired him of the greek mithology??

He looks menacing and...huggable

I'm glad you like it! :3 Yeah, I took inspiration from the greek mythology and implemented some purple since nsp beings seem to like that color lol. I was trying to decide between this or a bug like vibe, but thought a big sea monster swimming through space and devouring planets is a better choice.

And I think he wouldn't mind a hug, but you might not get out in one piece x]

[clownbastard]

If you would redesign the characters of tsams/tlaes/mgafs/teaps, what characters you could choose to redesign?

I would DEFINITELY redesign Nexus since his whole thing was that he didn't want to be perceived as Moon! Like, I know that it wasn't profitable for them to make a whole new model for him since he wasn't in the show for that long, but come on... My first design for him, even though it's not perfect, had nothing to do with moon themes because the show led me to believe that he's gonna reject his whole look.

Also, the astrals/negative star beings, their designs are fine, but they're a bit bland imo. They're going for the whole "it's just how you earthlings are perceiving us" but I would prefer if it was more like biblically accurate angels "be not afraid" vibes, ya know?

Other than that, the designs are pretty satisfying I think :>

[clownbastard]

Springtrap in dead by daylight!!! I'm playing the PTB, and I'm just stimming like crazy, they made him so fkn cool 😭 Like I need him so baaaad LMAO

In other words, there probably won't be that much art from me after June 17th for quite a bit, I fear, x]

[clownbastard]

I haven't been keeping up that well with tsams and laes and practically only watching eaps... Not much interesting is happening on sams (imo), and I was watching laes only for Lunar tbh so now that he's leaving, there's not much there for me. I'm really hoping the new girlies will relit my interest 🙏