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hungermakesmonsters · 29 days

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Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twenty-Five

Plot summary : When your friend interviews for a position at Anvil, you have a chance encounter with Billy Russo. He takes you for coffee and, by the time you’re done, Billy decides he’s anything but done with you.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut and extreme cuteness. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~5.2k

A/N : The final chapter. I really hope that this lives up to people's expectations.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The trip from the hospital to the penthouse left you feeling exhausted and, by the time Billy was helping you change into your pyjamas you were struggling to keep your eyes open. His touches were slow and delicate, treating you like you were the most fragile and precious thing in the world. And, you could tell from the little looks he shot you that he was still blaming himself for everything.

A soft sigh slipped from your lips as he helped you into bed and covered you with the duvet.

“You okay?” He asked in a quiet, subdued tone.

“Still a bit sore,” you admitted, “but I’m glad to be home.”

“Home,” Billy repeated, smiling. “This isn’t exactly how I wanted you moving in to go, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here too,” you sank back in the pillows a little more, “I’m glad we can just be together now.”

“Me too,” he fell silent for a few moments, watching as you struggled to stay awake. “Do you want to get some rest? I could -”

“Can you stay with me?” You asked, eyes suddenly wide open. “Can you hold me? I’ve missed you holding me.”

“Of course I can.”

You watched as he quickly slipped out of his red sweater and jeans, stripping right down to his boxers before rounding the bed and climbing in beside you. There was noticeable hesitation as he edged towards you, his arm carefully slipping over your chest so he could hold you.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” He muttered softly, smiling as your eyes finally closed.

“Love you Billy.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

After a few hours of sleep, you felt a little bit better. Billy was still beside you, scrolling through his emails on his phone. When he noticed you were awake, he smiled.

“How are you feeling? Need me to get you anything?”

“A glass of water would be great,” you answered, “and something to eat?

Billy gave a nod and quickly got out of bed. You watched as he left the room, phone in hand. He was only gone for a couple of minutes, you heard him making a call, obviously ordering dinner before he came back with your drink and handed it to you. Then, after a slight hesitation, he got back into bed with you.

“Can we talk about it?” You asked cautiously, after taking a drink. “Scott, I mean...”

“Why?” He tensed.

“I don’t know, I just -” you weren’t even sure what you wanted to say to him, what you wanted to ask, “- we didn’t get to talk about it at the hospital. Are you okay?”

“He’s not the first person I’ve killed.”

“It’s not the same; you were a Marine in a warzone. This is -”

“Murder,” he filled in the blank without hesitation, without remorse.

And, maybe that should have bothered you more than it did; Billy had killed a man for you. Admittedly, not a great man, and certainly not one that you were going to miss in any way, shape or form. But a life was still a life and you were certain that neither of you should feel happy about it.

Billy took a slow breath.”Look, you don’t need to feel guilty about any of it. I would have killed him even if you told me not to.”

“It’s not guilt, it’s just - I dunno, Billy. A man is dead because of me...”

“You could have died because of him,” Billy answered back without hesitation. “He tried to kill you twice. He called you a whore, said you weren’t worth it.” There was no missing the bite in his tone, or the way his hand curled into a fist. “You are worth it. You mean everything to me -”

“Billy -”

“No, I’d kill a hundred men like him if it meant keeping you safe. I’d burn down the whole fucking world just to protect you.”

And you knew he would. With anyone else you’d think it was hyperbolic, you’d think he was just saying what he thought you wanted to hear, but not Billy. That was the wonderful and tragic thing about him, about the way he loved you; it was a lot, it was everything he had, every ounce of himself. You’d never change that about him, and you’d never want to. That was Billy. That was the man you loved, and loving him meant accepting him.

So, you nodded and reached for his hand, gently prising his tight fist open so your fingers could slip between his.

“Okay,” you told him, and that was that.

It wasn’t long before your food was delivered and you couldn’t help but laugh that he’d chosen to order pizza, just like he had the first night he’d brought you back to the penthouse. You sat together in bed, eating pizza and watching TV until you finally fell asleep again.

Hours later, voices outside the bedroom woke you; Billy and Sam.

“Look, I appreciate what you did for her, but I think it’d be better for everyone if she came back to Connecticut with me,” you heard Sam say. “She needs people around her to look after her.”

“She has people here,” Billy answered. “She’s not going anywhere.”

“You can’t expect me to leave my sister here with a killer.”

“And you can’t expect me to let her go with the man who allowed that piece of shit to keep breathing after the first time he tried to kill her,” Billy replied. Your breath caught, torn between listening to more and calling out to stop them from fighting. “Anyway, I’ve seen your service record, you’ve got blood on your hands too.”

“You think I didn’t want to kill that fucker -”

“I think you had every opportunity and you didn’t. I won’t let her go with anyone who’s not willing to do everything to protect her.”

“I know you think you love her, but -”

“I do love her, and there is nothing I won’t do for her,” you could hear the edge in Billy’s voice, the anger that he was barely managing to hold back. “Look around, look at the life I can give her; she’ll always be safe, she’ll never want for anything. You want to take that away from her? You want to take her away from everything that she’s achieved here? Her friends, her new job?”

A silence followed and you didn’t dare breathe in case you missed something.

“You don’t know her like I do,” Sam stated and your heart sank a little but you didn’t get time to dwell on it.

“I know her better than you do,” Billy was quick to answer. “You see her as some weak little thing just because she’s your sister. But I don’t. I see a woman who’s not scared to put me in my place when I fuck up, someone who’s been through so much and has kept going. She’s carried the guilt for your sister’s death for years, even though it was an accident, a stupid mistake. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever met and if you can’t see that, then you don’t know your sister at all.”

Before that moment you hadn’t thought it was possible to love him more, but you soon felt tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

There was another silence before you finally heard Sam relent.

“Fine, but if you ever hurt her, I’ll kill you myself.”

“If I ever hurt her, I’ll let you.” Billy quickly countered and you could hear just how serious he was.

There were some more muttered grumblings between the pair, but the tone had changed and both men seemed to have resolved their differences. Sam muttered something about coming back tomorrow to say goodbye before leaving town again and, then, when everything had fallen silent, you assumed that he had left.

You didn’t mention any of it to Billy when he came to bed later that night, and didn’t in the days that followed; it didn’t matter, there was no way you were going to go to Connecticut with Sam, not when everything in your life was finally perfect.

Sam insisted on staying in the city a little while longer, wanting to make sure you were going to be alright before he travelled home. He came by to see you most days and, slowly but surely, the tension seemed to ease between him and Billy, and they were able to stand each other enough to make small talk without either getting snippy.

Your heart was racing when the police arrived at the penthouse unexpectedly a week after you came home from hospital. Billy and Sam insisted that you weren’t ready to see them, that you were sleeping, but you managed to get yourself out of bed and made your way out of the bedroom.

The second you did, Billy was at your side, taking your arm.

“You don’t need to -”

“It’s okay, Billy. I’ll be fine,” you told him, letting him help you towards the sofa. “I need to tell the police that I’ve remembered what happened.”

Everyone, the police included, seemed a little taken aback by the comment, but no one tried to object. You sat, grimacing but trying not to let it show how sore you felt - the last thing you wanted was for Billy and Sam to worry about you. Before you started, Billy insisted on getting you something to drink, which in turn led to getting drinks for both of the officers, Sam, and himself.

The two officers sat opposite you, offering up their names and a few pleasantries before finally getting down to business.

“You said you’ve remembered what happened,” the younger of the two officers asked, a boyish looking man who had a friendlier face than his older partner, “would you be able to walk us through it, everything you remember from leaving Mexico right up to the incident?”

You nodded, discreetly trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Billy sat beside you and you soon had his hand in your own, held on your lap.

“We had an argument,” you glanced at Billy briefly, “Billy surprised me in Mexico and I thought - well, I thought he was there to propose to me,” at that Sam almost choked on his coffee, “but he wasn’t. It wasn’t a big argument, it was silly really, and I was embarrassed.”

Billy’s hand gave yours a gentle squeeze.

“I decided to come back to New York early because of it. I wanted to finish packing up my old apartment so we could move in here when Billy got back, and I wanted us to have a day or two apart so I could get over my embarrassment,” you shrugged uncomfortably but managed to force something of a smile to your face.

“I took a taxi home from the airport, had something to eat, then I was about to try to get a couple of hours sleep when someone knocked on the door,” your voice cracked. You tried to lean forward to grab your mug from the coffee table, but winced as pain lanced through your abdomen.

“Here, sweetheart, let me,” Billy reached for your mug as you sat back and, when he handed it to you, you caught something almost helpless in his eyes. “You don’t have to do this now if you don’t feel up to it.”

“It’s fine. I want to tell them what happened,” you told him, taking a quick sip of your coffee before continuing.

“You heard the knock...” the older officer prompted.

“I thought it was just a delivery or something for Tammy - Tammy was my roommate - but it wasn’t,” again your voice threatened to break. “It was my ex-boyfriend Scott Hendrix.”

“And did you talk to Mr Hendrix at all? Did he say anything to you before he shot you?” The younger officer asked, furiously scrawling in his notepad.

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation, feeling Billy’s hand twitch in yours. “He told me he wanted money, he said he owed someone money and he thought I owed him.”

“And why did he think that?” The older one asked.

“He blamed me for his life falling apart,” you gave another awkward shrug, trying to ignore the pain in your side. “He went to prison for a DUI after crashing his car with both of us in it, the judge gave him a harsher sentence because I was badly hurt but -”

“She wasn’t just hurt, he was trying to kill her,” interrupted Sam. “She wouldn’t testify because she was scared of him and his family.”

The officers looked at you and all you could do was nod to confirm the story.

“He tried to kill me because I wanted to leave him; I’d had enough of the drinking and the drugs. So, when he showed up and demanded money, I knew that was what it was for. He got angry when I said no and pulled a gun,” you looked down for a moment at Billy’s hand in yours. “He told me they were gonna kill him if he didn’t get their money -”

“Did he say who they were?” The younger one interrupted.

“No, he just said he owed a lot of money and, he figured, because I was with Billy I could get it for him. I told him no and tried to close the door, that’s when he -” when your voice broke again, Billy decided to intervene.

“Is there anything else you need? She needs to rest,” he stated, his grip tightening but this time not loosening even a fraction.

“How did you get that bruise on your cheek, Mr Russo?” The older cop asked, eyeing Billy for a second.

“I gave him it,” Sam answered, reminding everyone that he was still in the room.

“And why was that?” Asked the older officer.

“Because my sister had just been shot and I was looking for someone to take my frustrations out on,” Sam shrugged.

There was a moment of silence as both officers glanced at each other, as if deciding what to say next.

“You should know that we found where Mr Hendrix was staying in the city, as well as recovering a gun - it’s being tested at the lab to see if it matches the weapon that was used to shoot you,” the older cop explained. “Mr Hendrix was nowhere to be found.”

“What do you mean nowhere to be found?” Asked Sam.

“You mean that prick is still out there?” Billy added. The pair of them deserved an Oscar nomination.

“There was evidence found at the scene to suggest that Mr Hendrix had been badly injured, though we won’t know for sure until we hear back from the lab but, I can give you my assurances that the NYPD are looking for him.” The younger cop told you, offering a soft smile, as if he wanted to try and make you feel better about the thought that Scott could still be in the city.

“We’d offer to put a uniform on your door, but it seems like Mr Russo already has that covered,” added the older guy with a glance in Billy’s direction which, in turn, led to you looking at him.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Billy offered.

“Anyway,” started the older cop, draining his mug of coffee and placing it down before reaching into his jacket for his card, “I think we’ve got everything we need. If you remember anything else, my number is on the card. And if Mr Hendrix tries to contact you -”

“He’ll wish he didn’t,” Billy stated, letting go of your hand and getting to his feet. “We appreciate you stopping by, officers, but she really needs to rest now.”

The officers stood, muttering their goodbyes and telling you that you didn’t need to see them out, but that didn’t stop Billy from following them and making sure they got on the elevator.

“What the fuck that?” Sam asked around twenty seconds after the elevator doors had slid shut.

“What was what?” You asked, feigning ignorance.

“That - lying to the cops,” he sounded annoyed. “Have you got any idea how much trouble you’ll be in if they figure out you lied?”

“What was I supposed to do? Wait until they find something that might lead them back to Billy?”

“Sweetheart -” Billy tried to interrupt.

“No, you protected me, now I’m protecting you. Scott took enough from me, he’s not going to take you too, Billy. I won’t lose you,” you told him.

“You won’t, sweetheart, I promise you won’t,” he told you, sitting beside you and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

“We protect each other,” and that was how it was going to be from now on.

You felt a little better with each passing day but Billy continued to dote on you, barely leaving you alone for a moment, even after Sam had decided you were well enough for him to return to Connecticut. He did his work from home, hadn’t been to the office in over two weeks, but as much as you loved having him around, something was missing.

Him.

All of him.

He was treating you like some fragile thing with delicate touches and the sort of softness that felt like he was barely there at all. Of course, you understood he was being careful because he loved you, because he didn’t want to risk hurting you or causing you any sort of pain, but you knew it wasn’t doing either of you any good. He sated some of your longings with his fingers, and you’d given him more handjobs in the last few weeks than you had in almost eight months of being together, but you needed more.

You both had needs, but you were coming to realise that Billy wasn’t going to be the first to act, so you decided to take the initiative. You slipped out of the bedroom in nothing but a silk robe, finding him on the sofa. His eyes followed you as you approached and grew wider as you dropped the robe to the floor and climbed onto his lap.

Before he could even think to question you, you were kissing him desperately, pressing yourself against him and slowly starting to rock your hips. Billy easily lost himself to you for a few wonderful minutes and you felt him start to grow hard in his pants, but it didn’t last.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he muttered against your lips, sighing but not pulling back.

“Then be gentle,” you retorted before capturing his lips again.

For a few moments he was content to kiss you, his hands running up your bare thighs to your hips, then your waist, but the feel of the dressing over your injury caused him to pull back again.

“I - I don’t know if I can be gentle.”

“You can,” you told him softly. “I don’t want you to fuck me, Billy, I want to make love.”

His breath caught and, for a few seconds, all he could do was stare at you awkwardly, as if he wasn’t entirely sure what you were asking him for, like something about your suggestion worried him. Your hand found his cheek, and you held his gaze.

“I don’t -”

“You do,” you told him softly, reassuringly, before taking his hand and slowly getting to your feet.

Billy rose slowly and let you lead him to the bedroom, where you slowly undressed him, running your hands over every inch of skin that you exposed. Once he was naked, his fingers lifted your chin and he just stared at you for a moment before, finally, kissing you. He held you close and carefully moved you onto the bed, placing himself on top of you, keeping his weight on his arms at your side.

Hesitation was etched on his features as he broke the kiss and stared down at you.

“You won’t hurt me,” you told him. “I trust you, Billy.”

His hips lowered and you felt the tip of his cock graze your clit and, after weeks of nothing but his hand between your legs, it made you shiver. He hesitated for a few seconds, but the moment he was pressed against you, the moment he could feel how wet you already were, he knew he couldn’t stop.

A long, relieved exhale escaped you as he finally started to move. The feeling of his cock pressing into you after so many weeks without it felt heavenly, and Billy’s soft groan told you he felt the exact same way. He moved so slowly that you could feel every inch as he filled you, and once you’d taken him all, he lingered long enough that you could feel him throbbing inside you.

Any discomfort you felt was forgotten the moment his hips started to draw back, your body already trembling beneath him.

“Billy -” you moaned, your fingertips pressing into his back.

Once he was certain that you weren’t in any sort of pain, he started to move with a little more purpose, not in his usual fast or rough way, but in a way that let you experience every single sensation.

“I love you,” he muttered breathlessly against your ear, lingering there and letting you feel every shallow breath against your skin, hearing every time his breath caught and every little groan.

“I love you too, Billy,” you moaned, angling your head so you could capture his lips in a kiss.

Your moans got louder, swallowed by Billy’s lips. Everything about it was perfect, everything was Billy. Fingers slipped into his hair and you heard him groan his approval, his lips pulling into a smile against yours.

“Mine,” you told him when your lips finally parted.

“Yours. Always,” he told you. “You feel so good...”

“So do you,” you moaned as he filled you again, your walls trembling and squeezing around him the closer you got to climaxing.

It was like nothing you’d ever felt before, a level of connection with him that made you feel like nothing existed outside of you and him and the moment you were sharing. His movements got a little faster the closer you got and, from his barely restrained groans, you could tell he wasn’t going to last much longer either.

You moaned his name as you came, your whole body shivering with a pleasure you didn’t even know how to completely process. A few seconds later, he was following, twitching inside you as he emptied himself.

“Fuck -” he grunted, the movements of his hips turning awkward before finally stilling.

He leaned, his forehead against your and his eyes shut tight. You ran your fingers through sweat-damp hair, smiling and waiting for him to open his eyes. When he did, you could tell he was at a loss for words.

“That was amazing,” you decided to break the silence.

“I love you,” was how he chose to respond, pressing his lips to yours in a brief but wonderful kiss.

The room was slowly turning dark around you and, as much as you’d wanted everything that had happened, you felt exhausted. Billy slowly pulled out and moved to lay beside you, gathering you in his arms so you could rest your head on his chest while his hand gently stroked your hair.

Your eyes closed and you let out a slow breath as everything turned still and silent around you. Minutes ticked by, the steady drumming of his heartbeat almost lulling you to sleep. His hand in your hair had fallen still and you assumed that he’d fallen asleep. Everything about the moment was perfect, it was how you wanted to spend the rest of your life.

Then you heard it.

“Marry me,” he whispered softly.

It sounded like he was testing the words, like he was trying them out to see how they sounded. You wanted to answer him, but the words wouldn’t come; he wasn’t asking, not really, he thought you were sleeping. So, you kept your eyes closed and, eventually, drifted off to sleep.

The next morning you woke to find Billy in an infectiously happy mood - obviously he’d needed last night just as much as you had. He made you breakfast in bed before surprising you and telling you that he was finally going to go back to the office. It felt like everything was going back to how it should be; you were feeling much better, he was going back to work, and in a week you’d be starting your job with The Bulletin. It was perfect.

Billy left for work and you spent the day relaxing with a book, before throwing together a casserole in the kitchen for the pair of you to have for dinner - as much as you’d been enjoying Billy taking care of dinner since you’d gotten home, you were starting to get bored of take out. Once everything was ready, you returned to the armchair in the bedroom, alternating between reading your book and watching the sun set over the city.

He was later than expected getting home and, when you heard the elevator, you expected him to call out. Instead there was silence. It was enough to have you anxiously getting up from your chair and heading out to see why he was being so quiet.

You found him standing awkwardly, looking at the floor, a serious expression on his face. Your heart skipped a beat and dread started to coil in your stomach.

“Billy, what’s wrong?” You dared to ask, making your way towards him.

The suddenness of your voice startled him, and he looked at you like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

“Nothing,” he managed in the most unconvincing tone, making you panic even more.

“Is it Scott? Did the police find something?” You stopped in front of him, worry written across your face.

“No, it’s not -” he looked at you for a moment before forcing a breath. “It’s not that. It’s - I need to ask you something.”

Your heart stuttered, remembering his whispered question the night before, and all you could do was nod, not knowing what you could possibly say. Billy took a moment and, for a second, you thought you could see fear in his eyes, like he was scared about what was about to happen.

“I know we haven’t known each other very long,” he started, his eyes fixed on yours, “but this last few weeks has shown me that I can’t go back to living without you. I don’t want a life that doesn’t have you in it.”

Despite his obvious nervousness, you felt your lips pulling into a smile as tears started to well in the corners of your eyes.

“I love you,” he continued, “more than I thought I’d ever be able to love anyone, and that’s never gonna change.”

Your heart almost stopped when he slowly got down on one knee and pulled a ring box from his pocket. His trembling hands opened the lid to reveal the ring inside; simple, delicate and elegant. Perfect.

“I know I fuck up sometimes and I piss you off, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy,” he looked up at you expectantly, even though he hadn’t actually asked.

Wiping your eyes, you smiled down at him. “Ask me the question, Billy.”

“Sweetheart, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” the word was instant, not even needing to think about it or consider any of it. Maybe it was crazy, but you’d been through more with Billy in the last eight months than most couples went through in a lifetime.

“Really?” His question, the confusion and relief in his voice, was enough to have you dropping to your knees in front of him, taking his face between your hands.

“Yes, Billy.” You told him again. “I will marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

His hand took yours, sliding the ring onto your finger. A perfect fit. You leaned forward to kiss him, tears of joy streaming down your face.

“I love you,” he told you softly. “We don’t have to marry straight away, we can have a long engagement, we can do whatever -”

You pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

“Take me to bed, Billy.”

A blink of an eye later and you were on your back in bed, Billy’s greedy lips and tongue on your pussy, driving you insane. Your fingers tangled in his hair and you could see the diamond ring every time you looked down at him. Crying out as sank his fingers inside you, and trembling as he sucked your clit. Even though Billy tried to take things slow, with teasing and measured movements, it had been so long since he’d gone down on you that you came after only a few minutes.

He lifted his head and smiled up at you, his lips and chin glistening, though he seemed hesitant and you could guess why.

“Don’t you dare ask me if I’m okay,” you warned playfully. “Just get up here and fuck me.”

Billy didn’t need to be told twice. He moved up your body like a predator and, when you reached for him, you could feel his taut muscles beneath your hands. God, you wanted him. You’d never stop wanting him. And just one look from him told you that he felt the same.

He kissed you as he slid inside you, and you held him tight, moaning against his lips. When hips started to move, you could tell that he was still holding back. You moved beneath him, meeting his thrusts, silently begging him for more with every shift of your hips.

“Billy -” you moaned against his lips, you fingers curling in his hair again, “- I said fuck me.”

He started to move a little faster, sinking himself deeper with every stroke, his cock filling you in a way it hadn’t for weeks.

“Such a needy little pussy,” he muttered against your lips. “It’s all mine now.”

His lips moved to your neck, sucking and nipping at your skin, driving you wild. And still - still you wanted more. Everything. You could hear him muttering and grunting against your neck, the word ‘mine’ leaving his lips, over and over.

“I’m yours, Billy,” you moaned breathlessly, “forever.”

You pulled at his hair, causing him to lift his head from your neck so you could kiss him as you came for him, moaning into his mouth as your wall clenched around him. It was enough to drive Billy over the edge and soon you felt the steady pulse of his cock as he filled you.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” you moaned as he came, holding him tight as he stilled deep inside of you.

“I love you,” he told you between panted breaths, lingering inside you long after he’d finished, not wanting to sever your connection. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Epilogue

END NOTES : I don't know what to say. Honestly. When I started this I expected maybe three of four people might take an interest but I've honestly been overwhelmed by all the likes, the reblogs, and the comments; it's really made this a joy to write. While this is the lat main chapter of the story, I will be posting an epilogue next week and, in future, I might do some one shots with with reader and Billy. But, ultimately, after everything I wanted them to have a nice, happy ending and I hope you all enjoy that.

Thank you so so much for for those who have been following for the last five months! ... I know, it really has been five months and my mind is blown. This is the longest, consistent writing project I've ever undertaken - for context, altogether, this fic is about 110000 words and 220 doc pages, which just sounds insane.

ANYWAY. I'm rambling. Tune in next week for the epilogue. And thank you again, whether you like/comment/reblog or just read along every week. You all made this such a wonderful and fun experience for me!! I will have a little update next week after the epilogue when I decide what I'm going to do next on this blog. Have a great weekend!

If you want adding/removing from the tag list let me know (I know it’s not working for everyone - if it’s not working and you don’t want to miss a chapter, I post every Friday around 7:30pm gmt)

TAG LIST

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 1 month

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twenty-Three

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - the usual

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] The usual smuttiness and some very vague violence. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~5.1k

A/N : Reader has a theory about why Billy followed her to Mexico...

Chapter Twenty-Three

After Billy’s arrival in Mexico, things took a strange turn and, for the longest time, you couldn’t say why. Once he’d made his apology to you on the balcony, you decided to go shower and give him some time to apologise to Karen for crashing your vacation. Billy was reluctant to leave you alone, presumably because he wanted to shower with you, so you had to all but force him out of your room, telling him that you’d meet him and Karen later, once he’d sorted everything out with her.

When you were finally alone, you took a long shower, thinking over everything that had happened. And, the more you thought, the worse you felt about everything.

Of course you were happy to see him - you didn’t think there would ever be a time when you wouldn’t be happy to see Billy - but there was something about him being there that just didn’t sit right with you. You felt like you should have pushed him for more, that you shouldn’t have just accepted his apology the way that you did.

Did he not trust you? Did he think you were going to fall into bed with someone else? Or did he think that being away from him would help you notice all the issues in your relationship, all of his issues?

Ultimately, you weren’t sure. It didn’t make sense.

He’d put it down to impulse control issues - you should have called him on that, he knew that you hated him hiding behind that - and this definitely wasn’t that. This was planned; he’d booked a flight and a hotel room, he’d driven himself to the airport and gone through security and gotten on a plane. It wasn’t some spur of the moment lapse in judgement.

The more you thought about it, the more convoluted everything became. Maybe he really was just there because he missed you and because he was worried. Maybe it was just that simple and innocent. But, as you’d told him, you felt smothered. And, now, it was making you feel out of control in a way you hadn’t felt since Scott.

You took your time getting ready to meet Billy and Karen, giving one word answers to texts, agreeing to meet them at seven for food and, even then, you were five minutes late.

They were already waiting for you and, from the looks of it, had been there for a while, with half-finished drinks in front of them. Karen smiled at you and Billy fell silent as you approached and took a seat.

“You’re happier than I was expecting you to be about all this,” you looked at Karen, trying to figure out why she was so accepting of Billy’s presence on your girls only vacation.

“Well, the way I see it, if he’s here,” she nodded towards Billy with a smirk, “he’s not pissing Frank off and it’ll give Frank some time to consider his priorities.”

“You know, you could just ask Frank to move in with you, right?”

“Wait-wait-wait,” Billy shook his head in disbelief, “you actually want to live with Frank? Why?” You slapped his arm and earned yourself one of those trademark Billy Russo smirks, as if he was so proud of his little joke. “Oh, this is perfect. Please, let me be the one to tell him?”

“Why would I do that?” Karen asked, obviously about as impressed with Billy as you were.

“Because he’s been on my ass for months about settling down, and turnabout is fair play?” Billy answered.

“He’s been on your ass because you spent years fucking every woman in New York and, now that you’ve finally found one that’s willing to put up with you, Frank doesn’t want you to screw it up.” Karen answered back.

“I don’t know if I’d say I put up with him,” you tried your best to sound serious, barely biting back a smirk, and earning yourself a nudge beneath the table from Billy’s foot. You gave him a fond sort of smile and Karen gave a snort.

“Okay, if you two are going to start getting all lovey-dovey, I’m going to need a lot more to drink...” she joked, making a point of turning her attention to the menu while your gaze lingered on Billy.

It was always so easy to forget all your doubts and worries whenever he smiled at you like you were the only other person in the world but, now, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was a deliberate action on his part to make you simply accept the fact that he was there. A suspicion that only seemed to grow when he pulled his phone from his pocket and he tried to suppress a frown, a look that you’d seen on his face several times while he and Frank had been looking for the security threat that had turned out to be the private investigator sent by your ex.

He was trying to hide something.

“What’s wrong?” You dared to ask, your imagination already starting to go to some pretty dark places.

“Nothing. It’s fine,” Billy answered, forcing a smile, his eyes flickering to Karen for a split-second.

“Frank giving you a hard time?” Karen offered.

“Yeah,” Billy shrugged, like it was nothing.

You dropped your eyes to the menu, trying to decide if you were being paranoid or if there was something going on, something that they were trying to keep from you. It didn’t feel like paranoia but, for the life of you, you couldn’t even begin to guess what sort of thing the pair of them might be trying to keep from you. Except -

No. No.

You felt ridiculous the moment the thought popped into your mind; Billy hadn’t followed you to Mexico to propose. That would be insane.

But, it would explain all the secrecy and weirdness.

Fuck. What would you even say if he did propose? You hadn’t even known him for half a year - you couldn’t marry a man you barely knew. But, you loved him and the thought of spending the rest of your life without him was unbearable. And you already knew that Billy wouldn’t take a rejection well - if you told him no it would probably end your relationship.

Once the thought was in your head, it was hard to shake it. So much so that you spent the rest of the evening thinking about it, equal parts excited and terrified even though you had no real evidence that that was why Billy was there. You tried your best to keep up with the conversation, but you were distracted, stuck on that one little idea.

After eating, the three of you headed to a little bar that overlooked the ocean but, still, your mind was elsewhere.

“This place is nice,” Billy said, letting his gaze wander out over the water before his attention turned back to you. “Maybe we could stay a little longer? Make a real vacation of it?”

“You know I can’t,” you told him, looking to Karen for support who was, conveniently busy looking at her phone. “I’ve got to sign my contract with The Bulletin and I need to finish packing up the apartment so I can move in.”

“I’m sure they could email you the contract over, and I could hire movers for you?”

“We can go on a proper vacation some other time, I can’t just drop everything and -”

“Karen, you’re on my side, right? Don’t you think she needs a real vacation?” He looked at Karen and, for a moment, she seemed a little uncomfortable being dragged into your argument but then she shrugged and looked your way.

“You have had a pretty stressful couple of months,” was all she dared to offer, but it was more than enough to cement in your mind that there was something strange going on.

“Exactly,” Billy agreed.

Not wanting to argue in front of Karen, you let the conversation drop with little more than a shrug and muttered promise to consider it. You had another drink before deciding that you were tired and were calling it a night. Billy took that as his cue to finish his drink and, after the pair of you walked Karen back to her room, he led you to the suite he’d booked for himself.

The second the door was shut and you were alone, Billy had you in his arms, kissing you with an eagerness that never seemed to fade. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders, holding him tight.

“You okay? You seemed a little quiet tonight,” he asked softly when the kiss finally broke, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face and tucking it behind your ear.

“I’m just tired,” you didn’t like lying to him but you weren’t sure what else to tell him, and you hated yourself even more when he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Do you want to go sleep?” He asked you so tenderly that it made your heart ache, looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. “We can just curl up in bed and -”

You cut him off, your fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck, and pulling his lips back to yours. As confused as you were by everything that was going on, it didn’t change how you felt about him, especially not in sweet and tender moments like that one. And it definitely didn’t change how much you wanted him.

The kiss was all the sign Billy needed and, as you kissed, he awkwardly started to lead you through the suite and towards the massive bed while his deft fingers unzipped your dress and slid it down your body. Meanwhile, your own fingers clumsily helped rid him of his shirt.

A laugh slipped between your lips when he suddenly lifted you and practically threw you onto the bed in nothing but your underwear. You bit your lip, watching as his pants dropped and he crawled onto the bed, smiling that big stupid smirk that got you every single time. Moments like this were what you loved the most about being with him; his desperation gave away how much he wanted you, while his playfulness reminded you how no one else got to see this side of him.

Billy Russo was yours. Just yours.

(And, honestly, if he’d asked you to marry him at that moment, you would have agreed without hesitation.)

His lips pressed to your cheek as he climbed on top of you, kissing one side of your face, then the other. Then he kissed the tip of your nose, drawing a soft laugh from you, and his eyes seemed to darken at the sound. Finally, he kissed you again, parting your lips with one stroke of his tongue. It was a slow, teasing kiss, the kind that left you breathless and craving more, craving everything.

Everything moved at Billy’s pace, even when your fingers started to press into his back, urging him on. He lingered against your lips like he was trying to commit every little detail to memory before moving on. His lips followed your jaw neck before slowly moving down the column of your throat, kissing and licking before scraping his teeth along your skin causing you to squirm beneath him.

Down, down, down, he went, and you knew exactly where this was heading. He always made such an event of going down on you, as if he enjoyed it just as much as you. Kisses trailed down over your collarbone to your chest where, following a few awkward movements and a little more laughter from you, Billy removed your bra. Again, he took his time, enjoying running his lips and tongue over your breasts, teasing your nipples, causing them to pebble. His eyes flickered up to see yours as he started to suck on one of the hardened peaks and you heard a low groan from the back of his throat, a sound that seemed to resonate between your thighs.

Then he moved again, his kisses following the faint scar that ran down your stomach, his fingers hooking on your panties. He gave you another look as he trailed his tongue around your navel, making you squirm again, getting more and more desperate for him with every passing second.

Without warning, he tore your panties from your body.

“Billy,” you whined, barely holding back a laugh, “you need to stop destroying all my panties.”

“Maybe you should just stop wearing them,” he smirked.

Your lips parted, ready to offer some withering retort but, before you could get the words out, his hand slipped between your thighs and he finally touched you. Instead of words, a soft sigh left your lips.

His touch was featherlight, the tip of his finger running through your folds and finding you desperately wet for him. Billy looked at you again, watching your every reaction as his finger slowly teased you, coating it in your slickness before, just as softly, pressing it to your clit.

“Billy -” you said his name like a plea, like you were begging, praying for him to do more, “- please...”

The way he licked his lips caused you to tremble, your whole body seeming to heat up just from that one little gesture. And, while you were distracted by his mouth, he took the opportunity to slide his finger into your eager pussy. A moan slipped out, your eyes still stuck on his, watching as he finally lowered his head between your thighs.

By the time you felt his tongue against you, you were so sensitive that you couldn’t hold back another, louder moan. Fingers slipped through his hair, urging him closer, wanting him to devour you. But still, he moved slowly and purposefully, knowing exactly what he was doing to you.

A second finger joined the first, offering you some slight relief, but it was nowhere near enough. He was driving you crazy, completely insane. His tongue circled and lapped against your clit in time with the slow thrust of his fingers between your trembling walls, as you pulled his hair and tried to grind yourself against him.

“Billy...” you finally broke, your voice an awkward whimper.

He lifted his head and your breath caught at the sight of his lips, glistening with your arousal. For a moment he waited expectantly, his fingers still keeping their slow pace.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He asked as innocently as he could while holding back a smirk.

“Stop teasing me,” you begged.

“But it’s so much fun,” he answered back, causing your toes to curl. Reaching behind you, you grabbed a pillow and swung it at him, catching him on the side of the head and earning a laugh from him that had you grinning. God, you loved him so much. “Alright, fine... always so needy for me...”

He grumbled and pretended to complain for a second before lowering his head and pressing his mouth to your again, his touches and movements quickly becoming more pronounced, so much so that you weren’t sure how long you’d even last. Your hips lifted off the bed and your fingers fisted his hair tighter the closer you got to falling apart. Every breath you took was punctuated with a moan, with his name. Until, finally, you came on his fingers, against his greedy tongue, your thighs trembling and tightening around his head.

Once he was sure you were completely finished, Billy lifted his head and slowly slipped his fingers from your body, the grin on his lips telling you that he was proud of himself. For a moment you found yourself just staring at him, at his smug smile, before dropping your head back on the pillows and starting to laugh.

That seemed to be Billy’s cue to move back up the bed, laying himself beside you.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“Nothing,” you told him, gently cupping his cheek and running your thumb over his lips, “I just love seeing you happy like that.”

“You make me happy,” he told you, making it seem like some secret confession, some dangerous piece of information.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, of course you do,” his lips kissed your thumb and, again, you found yourself thinking that thought, wondering why he was really in Mexico. After this little moment, a marriage proposal didn’t seem quite so crazy anymore.

“Bet I can make you happier,” you muttered softly, urging him onto his back as you crawled on top of him.

You slipped his boxers down enough so that you could sit with his erection between your thighs, lightly running your hand up and down it, and watching his reaction. You’d never get tired of watching his gaze fill with that barely contained wanting or the way his lips would part as his breath got shorter.

“Now who’s being a tease?” He finally broke, his hands on your legs, lightly squeezing your thighs.

“Now who’s being needy?” You retorted.

Billy didn’t respond, save for a huffed laugh, but it was more than enough to make you move. You held his cock steady as you lifted your hips, your gaze catching his, watching as his eyes slowly dropped down your body to watch as you sank down onto him. Your breath caught and you moved as slowly as you could, enjoying the feeling of every last inch of him inside you.

Once you’d taken him all, you rolled your hips softly and managed to draw a desperate groan from Billy, and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. Your movements were slow and delicate as you took his hands and placed them on your breasts, intent on teasing him until he broke and begged for mercy, just like you had.

Minutes passed, and you could tell just from looking at him that he was barely holding himself back, that he wanted more than the slow rise and fall of your body atop of him.

Your back arched and a shiver ran down your spine when his hands slid down your body, from your breasts to your hips. His fingers gripped you and, for a moment, you let him help guide your movements, setting a faster pace. You let him take what he wanted, let him take control. Until you realised that he was doing it, until you realised that he was taking what he wanted rather than begging for it like you’d had to.

Smirking down at him, you took hold of his wrists and pinned them above his head before returning to your slower, more teasing pace.

Leaning down, you ghosted your lips over his, pulling back when he lifted his head to try and kiss you. He pulled against your hold on him, and you pressed harder against his wrists in response, trying to keep him restrained. You leaned again, doing the same, earning a frustrated grunt from Billy when you denied him what he wanted. He struggled again, this time with a little more force, forcing you to use all of your weight to keep hold of him.

And, that’s when you heard it; that sharp little gasp, that almost panicked sound.

There was a flicker of something on his face, something that matched the awkward breath, something uncomfortable and anxious, something that almost looked scared.

You let go of his wrists instantly and Billy took the opportunity to roll you and place himself on top and in control of the situation. Looking up at him, you wanted to say something, wanted to ask if he was okay but, before you could find the words, he was kissing you and driving his hips into yours, taking what he needed from you.

Neither of you lasted more than a couple of minutes. You came first and Billy followed after, leaving you body panting and sweat-slicked. He buried his face against your neck, panting for breath while you could still feel him throbbing inside you. Your fingers ran through his damp hair, your mind still racing over that moment, that one small instance of panic that you’d managed to cause.

“You okay?” You finally managed to mutter, your words little more than a whisper in his ear.

For less than a split-second he tensed, then rolled away from you. “I need a shower. Wanna join me?”

“No, Billy, I -”

“Alright then,” and, with that, he stood and made his way to the bathroom, leaving the door open in case you decided to change your mind.

You didn’t change your mind. In fact, for the first thirty seconds, you were content to just lay in bed, thinking about sleep. But that thought was still in your head, and you had to know for certain. So, as quietly as you could, you got up and started to look through his things, trying to find something that might tell you why he was in Mexico. (Trying to find an engagement ring.)

Over the sound of the air con, you didn’t notice that the shower had stopped. And you didn’t notice Billy standing there until he spoke, catching you rummaging through his suitcase.

“What are you doing?” He asked from the bathroom doorway, a towel around his waist, chest and arms still dripping.

“I was -” you paused awkwardly, feeling your cheeks start to warm, “- looking for something to sleep in.”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he stepped towards you, pointing out a tee shirt that had been left on the nightstand of your side of the bed. Thankfully, he didn't sound angry, just confused. “What were you really looking for?”

“It’s stupid,” you sighed. “I was being stupid.”

“Tell me,” he stopped just out of arm's reach, taking in the sight of you, of your embarrassment.

“I was looking for an engagement ring,” your gaze dropped and you felt like such an idiot.

“An engagement ring?” Billy repeated. “Why would you think -” he cut himself off with a shake of his head. “Is that what you want from me?”

Was it? No. Well, maybe yes but - fuck, you hadn’t even known him a year, you weren’t even living together yet.

“No, that’s not - I just want to know what’s going on. I don’t know what’s going on with you,” frustration filled your voice. “First you show up here, and then -”

“I told you already, I came to Mexico because I was missing you. There’s nothing going on with me.” He interrupted.

“Then what was that in bed?” you dared to ask, even though something told you that you shouldn’t.

“What was what?” And you could tell he knew exactly what you were talking about.

“You looked like you were about to have a panic attack in the middle of sex, Billy.” You put it as bluntly as you could, knowing that it would do neither of you any good if you dragged things out.

“That’s not what that was and that’s not what we’re talking about right now.”

“You never want to talk about it.”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about,” his arms folded across his chest.

“You still don’t trust me, do you?” You asked, hating to make it about yourself, but the realisation hurt too much to keep it to yourself.

“It’s not that. Sweetheart, I trust you, it’s just...” he couldn’t seem to find the words. You gave him a moment, gave him a second to think, to breathe. “It’s complicated. It doesn’t matter.”

“I can handle complicated, Billy. My life isn’t exactly simple, is it?”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” and the words hit you like a slap, the implication clear as day.

“Is that what I am to you? A burden?”

His eyes found yours the moment the question left your lips, his head shaking. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what, Billy? I just want to understand,” you practically pleaded with him. “I love you and it kills me to see you like that - it kills me to know that I’m the one causing it.”

“No, sweetheart, no,” he cleared the distance between you in a heartbeat, pulling you into his arms and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s not you. I promise it’s not you. I’m just - I’m still figuring out how to be who you need me to be.”

You pulled back a little, needing to look at him, confusion written all over your face. “I don’t need you to be anything, Billy. I just want you to be you, why is that so hard for you to understand?”

“You don’t even know what you need,” he answered back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You were just searching through my things looking for an engagement ring.”

Your cheeks started to heat again and you felt like an idiot. He was right - at least, you could understand how you might have made him feel. But that wasn’t the point. He kept hiding things from you. There was something going on and you knew it, but he still wouldn’t tell you what. And what had happened in bed just added to your confusion.

Your lack of response had Billy sighing, sitting on the edge of the bed and running a hand over his face. He looked exhausted, and that was something else you blamed yourself for.

“Can we talk about this in the morning?” He offered and it seemed like the sensible thing to do.

You were both clearly tired and nerves were frayed, continuing the conversation now would only result in someone saying something that they didn’t mean and you didn’t want that.

“Okay,” you relented but, instead of moving towards the bed, you made your way to where your dress had been discarded and started to pull it back on.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m going to go back to my room -”

“Why?”

“I just need some space, Billy,” you explained, turning back to him once you were, mostly, dressed again.

“So you’re walking out on me?” He didn’t move from the bed but the look on his face made your chest ache.

“No, that’s not what this is,” you cleared the distance between you and placed a hand on his cheek. “I just need some time to think about some things and - and I think you do too.”

“I don’t need to think about anything. I know what I want,” he told you, his hand covering your own and holding it against his cheek.

“Then you need to think about why you’re here and why you won’t explain it to me,” trying to keep the frustration from your voice. “I know you missed me but this isn’t that, Billy. You’ve survived a few days without me before.”

“It’s not important, it’s -”

“It’s important to me, Billy, and maybe you need to think about that too.” Before he could respond, your hand moved to cover his lips and you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m not walking out, I’m not leaving you, but I do need some time alone. But I will come back to you. I’ll always come back because I love you, okay?”

The hesitation was noticeable before he finally nodded and you pulled your hand away from his lips.

“You look exhausted, Billy. Get some sleep.” Then you turned and started towards the door before he could think to try and stop you.

You heard a muttered goodnight from him as you closed the door behind you. A thousand different emotions waged war inside you and, by the time you reached your own room, you didn’t know what you were feeling anymore; embarrassment, frustration, anger, sadness. Billy had managed to make you feel almost everything all at once.

There was no chance of sleep that night, not when all you could do was think about everything that had happened and the fact that you still didn’t understand why he’d needed to follow you to Mexico. Eventually, you mind settled on something that you’d said to him - you needed space.

That was what this vacation was supposed to be in the first place; space, some distance from Billy so you could think. But, since you couldn’t have that space here in Mexico, you decided that you might as well try to find it back in New York.

You checked the flight times and arranged a taxi to the airport, trading in your ticket for an earlier flight. But, you knew you couldn’t just leave without saying anything, so you wrote Billy a note and asked a maid to slide it under his door a couple of hours later.

Billy,I’m going back to New York. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first, but I need some space. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get home and I’ll be ready to move in with you. I’m not leaving you, I just need a little bit of time on my own. I love you so much, please don’t worry about me. Tell Karen I said sorry.

You turned off your phone and, before you knew it, you were on a flight back to New York. Of course, you knew he was going to be pissed but you needed him to understand that you felt smothered, like you had no space - you needed him to understand that before you moved in together.

The flight was uneventful and you even managed to sleep for a few hours, and the taxi ride home was quick. You didn’t think to turn your phone back on until you were back in yours and Tammy’s apartment, ready to crawl into bed for a few more hours of sleep before getting up and making a start on the packing. There were dozens of missed calls waiting for you, along with texts and voicemails, all seeming increasingly frantic.

With a sigh, you hit play on the first voicemail.

“Don’t go back to New York,” Billy’s voice sounded panicked, worried even, “I’m sorry, I’ll tell you everything. Please, just come back to the hotel.”

The next was from Karen and it was much of the same, confirming your suspicions that she knew why Billy was really in Mexico.

As the next message started to play, there was a knock on the door. Given the early hour, you assumed it would be a delivery for Tammy, so you headed towards the door as the next message started to play.

“Sweetheart, please, you can’t go back to New York, it’s not safe,” but the warning came far too late.

You pulled the door open and, before you could think to even gasp in shock, a gunshot rang out.

Everything went black.

Chapter Twenty-Four

END NOTES : ... sorry. I know... I know... i hate the 'everything went black' ending too. But yeah... I don't even know, I just hope you're all enjoying the drama. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and reading, I appreciate you all so much!! Hope you have a wonderful day!

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 1 month

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twenty-Four

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - some violence

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Violence and death (as expected tbh), Krista being a mega bitch again, and some vague mentions of Billy's childhood trauma. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~5.1k

A/N : The aftermath of the last chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Too late.

He got back to New York too late. It was only a matter of minutes, stuck in traffic with Karen, just around the corner from your apartment when he got the call from Frank, and his whole world came to a halt. It felt like his worst nightmare had come true. He barely heard a thing Frank said after the initial news, the only thing he could hear was a ringing in his ears as his chest got tight and he had to force himself to breathe.

Karen had to demand he pull over so she could drive, not mentioning the panic attack but giving him concerned glances all the way to the hospital.

But they were late again; you’d been taken for surgery, Frank explained, as he held Karen tight.

Billy knew that he should stay, that he should be there when you woke up. (If you woke you - no, no he couldn’t think like that, he wasn’t going to lose you. He couldn’t lose you.)

He felt lost, still reeling from the panic attack he’d suffered in the car, but he knew he needed to do something.

“I need you to stay here and tell me when she gets out of surgery -”

“Bill, what the fuck are -” Frank tried to interrupt, but Billy kept on going.

“Her brother should be on the way. I’ll text him to come here instead of the apartment. I should be back by the time -”

“Bill, there ain’t no way I’m letting you go on your own,” Frank let go of Karen and took a step forward.

“Go where? What the fuck are you talking about, she needs...” she fell silent the moment she realised what was going on. “Are you fucking insane?”

“He could’ve killed her. He’s not getting away with that,” Billy answered before looking to Frank. “You should stay here.”

“The hell I am.” Frank countered. Billy knew there was no arguing with him and that they didn’t have time. “Karen, can you stay here and let us know if anything happens?”

“I guess there's no talking you out of this?” She sighed.

“He can't get away with this,” Billy shook his head.

“What about the cops?” She asked. “Can't they -”

“He's already tried to kill her once before, I'm not letting him have a third go,” Billy answered impatiently, “Can you just -”

“Yeah, I’ll keep you up to date. Just be careful,” her gaze lingered on Frank before shifting to Billy, “both of you.”

Both men nodded before heading for Frank’s truck. There was no conversation - there was really nothing to say, they both knew where they were heading and what needed to be done. The only stop was at Anvil, to collect what they needed and change vehicles, all the while acting like everything was perfectly normal and that they weren’t about to do some unspeakable and terrible thing.

There was a blind rage inside of him, the likes of which he’d never felt before. He’d been driven to violence in the past, but he’d never felt it so intensely before. All he could think about was how he could have lost you, how he could still lose you. Frank spoke from time to time, but Billy had no idea what he was saying. He couldn’t hear anything above the ringing in his ears and all of his own panicked thoughts.

He knew that Frank was probably still trying to talk him out of it, telling him that it wasn’t too late to go back to the hospital and wait for you to get out of surgery, but Billy knew that he couldn’t. He couldn’t face you again until he'd put things right, until he knew you’d never be in any danger again.

When the van finally stopped, he looked at Frank, catching the worry on his friend’s face.

“You don't have to do this, Bill,” Frank offered, trying to give his friend a way out. “We could leave it to the cops...”

“What would you do if it was your girl in the hospital?”

Frank hesitated a moment. “I'd tear the fucker limb from limb.”

“Exactly. You should get outta here before anyone sees you, Frankie.” Billy told him, pulling up his hood and grabbing the duffle of supplies he’d packed at Anvil. “I’ll meet you at the hospital later, let me know if...” he couldn’t even bring himself to say it, let alone think about it.

Frank gave a nod and Billy closed the door, stepping away from the car. He took a breath, forcing away every thought except for one; his mission.

They’d known where Scott was staying the moment he got into the city, even though the AirBnB was booked under a fake name and paid for using a store-bought prepaid credit card. Truth was, that Billy had had one of the analysts at Anvil tracking Scott’s movements ever since he found out about the PI, and it had always been his intention to keep you safe without you even knowing.

But he’d failed. Your decision to come back to New York had made it impossible, and he hadn’t been able to get Frank to you in time to stop Scott from hurting you.

And, now, Scott was going to pay.

Billy moved slowly but purposefully, getting off the street and into the building as quickly as possible. There was no surveillance in the area, but he still couldn’t risk anyone stopping him. Recon showed that the building was mostly empty at the moment; most of the apartments were owned by the same asshole, all put up on AirBnB causing rent prices in the area to skyrocket. A real fucking racket.

But, there was an empty apartment between Scott and the next occupied unit and that was good news for Billy, and he made his way up to the fourth floor completely unnoticed. When he reached the door, Billy dropped to his knees and made quick work of picking the lock.

Once he was in the apartment, he quietly placed the bag down by the door. It didn’t take him long to find his target, lounging on the sofa like he didn’t have a care in the world. The asshole even had his gun just sitting there on the coffee table. Billy took a breath before unsheathing his knife and clearing his throat, alerting Scott to his presence.

He went for the gun on the table, but Billy was faster, his blade cutting so deep into Scott’s wrist that it severed tendons before he could even think about trying to pull the trigger. The gun dropped to the floor and Billy kicked it away, having no use for it.

Scott clutched his bleeding wrist to his chest, staggering backwards.

“What the fuck -”

“Don’t play dumb, Scott. We both know why I’m here; you hurt someone I care about, and I can’t let you keep living after that.” Billy almost smirked at the flash of fear and realisation that spread across Scott’s face.

“You’re the boyfriend, right?” He grit out. “You think that little whore is worth it? Do you even know who I am? Do you know what’ll happen to you if -”

Billy’s boot connected with his stomach, winding him and effectively silencing him. Scott continued to stagger back until his back was against the wall.

“She’s more than worth it,” Billy snarled. “And I know exactly who you are - I know what you are. Your family might be a big deal in Florida but you’re nothing in New York.”

Billy found a sense of satisfaction in the way Scott was practically cowering. It made him think about you, about all the times this piece of shit made you feel scared. Never again. He was going to see to it that you never had to worry about this prick again. And, for all of his posturing, he was pretty sure that Scott had reached the same conclusion that he had; he was about to die.

“I can pay you; just name your price,” he tried a different tack, trying to appeal to Billy as a businessman, pressing himself back against the wall like he thought he still had somewhere to hide.

“You’re gonna pay, just not with money,” He fought back a grin as the distance between them shrank to nothing at all, his blade pressed against Scott’s stomach. “The price is your life for her freedom. I can’t give her back the time you took from her, the time she spent scared and looking over her shoulder, but I can make it so she never has to worry about you again.”

Scott swung an awkward punch, catching Billy on the cheek, and he was repaid with a knee to the stomach.

“You really are pathetic, aren’t you?” Billy let out a huff of laughter, his free arm pinned against Scott’s throat, holding him in place. “Guess that’s why you went after a girl six years younger than you.”

“Are you really prepared to kill for that bitch?” He managed to choke out. “She tell you she loves you? Know how many times she told me that? She’s a liar, she’s -”

Billy pressed forward, the knife sinking in.

“Keep talking, please, give me a reason to make this slow,” he spoke through gritted teeth, face barely inches from Scott’s, struggling to hold himself back, while Scott tried to push him away. “No? You done talking? Not so fucking scary when you’re dealing with a grown man, are you? Guess I’m harder to push around -”

“I loved her!” He managed in an awful, painful gasp, as if that made anything better, as if he thought that might convince Billy that there was a reasonable explanation for what he’d done.

“No,” Billy snapped, twisting the knife. “I love her. And I’d rather die than hurt her like you did.”

He didn’t wait for a response, pulling back the knife before sinking it in, again and again. As he listened to the choked, wet gasps for breath, every ounce of anger came to the fore. He loved you - he loved you so fucking much, and this asshole had tried to take you away from him.

For a few moments he lost himself to it, to the rage and anger and pain inside of him. And the last thing Scott got to hear was Billy repeating those three simple and terrifyingly complicated words; “I love her.”

It wasn’t until he finally stepped back that he realised he wasn’t alone. Frank was there - how long he’d be there, Billy couldn’t say and he didn’t want to guess.

“I told you -”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Frank shrugged, dropping the duffle Billy had left by the door, filled with things they’d need to get rid of the body. “Wasn’t going to leave you to do this alone, brother. We need to get this cleaned up, Karen says they should be finishing surgery soon.”

For a few seconds both men stood, looking at the body and the mess that Billy had created.

“Shit, Bill,” Frank muttered.

“I love her, Frankie,” Billy admitted quietly, sounding more scared than Frank had ever heard him.

Frank placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder and offered a reassuring squeeze. “I know you do. She’s gonna be alright. Doctor’s told Karen it was a through-and-though, didn’t hit anything vital.”

“Guess this prick was as bad a shot as he was a boyfriend,” Billy shook his head, silently glad of the fact.

“Yeah,” Frank huffed. “Think I saw a suitcase in the hallway big enough to stuff him in.”

“Right,” Billy nodded, knowing that they needed to get moving, but it took him a moment to tear himself from his thoughts. “I’ll go get some water.”

Both men separated, Frank heading to the hallway to find the suitcase, while Billy made his way to the kitchen to find a bucket.

They barely spoke as they went about wrapping the body in the plastic sheeting cleaning, both knowing that it would never be perfect, but that they could destroy enough evidence to make it almost impossible for anyone to say for certain just what went on.

------------

The room came into focus slowly, your head hurt and it felt like your brain was pulsing behind your eyes. It felt like the worst hangover you’d ever had, only you didn’t remember drinking. In fact, you couldn’t remember much of anything. You closed your eyes, wanting nothing more than to drift off and sleep until the pain stopped, but then you heard it; the beep-beep-beep of a heart rate monitor. For a few terrifying seconds you were transported back in time, back to the moment you woke up in hospital after the crash.

Your stomach knotted and threatened to turn itself inside out as the sterile smell filled your nose when you tried to take a deep, calming breath. Desperately, you tried to fill in the blanks and understand what had happened; the crash had been years ago, you’d moved to New York, you’d met Billy, you’d been in Mexico...

Billy.

Where was Billy?

A clumsy hand tried to wipe your eyes, hoping to clear your vision a little more, instead finding bandages wrapped around your forehead. And, when you tried to sit, you found that you couldn’t move for the burning, throbbing pain in your abdomen.

“You’re awake,” there was something familiar about the feminine voice, but you couldn’t quite place it.

You struggled to focus on the figure sitting off to the side of your bed, blinking as your vision slowly came back into focus, though her name eluded you for a few, long moments.

“Krista?” Voice betraying your confusion. Why was Krista there?

“Good,” she smiled and shifted a little closer to you, “you remember me.”

“What happened? Why are you here?” Why were you in the hospital? Your eyes drifted from Krista for a moment, taking in the sight of your hospital room, looking for anything that might tell you what was going on.

“You don’t remember?” She asked and you shook your head. “You were shot. Luckily the bullet went right through, but it seems that you hit your head when you fell, which might account for any memory problems you’re having, though short-term memory loss can also be caused by traumatic circumstances. I’ve been asked to evaluate you and find out what you remember.”

“Where’s Billy? Why isn’t Billy here?” You tried desperately to remember the last time you’d seen him. Mexic; at dinner with him and Karen, then you’d gone back to his room and - after that, there was nothing but fuzziness. The monitor next to you started to beep faster as the panic set in. Had something happened to him too?

“We’re not sure where William is. The NYPD are looking for him -”

“Looking for him? Why?” You were struggling to follow what she was trying to tell you and it was starting to frustrate you.

“In connection with your shooting,” she said it like it was obvious, like it was fact. They thought that Billy had done this to you. “He was tracked on a private jet, arriving back in New York an hour before the shooting - from what we’ve managed to put together, you cut your vacation in Mexico short and returned back to the city alone, Billy followed you. After you were shot, his business partner, Frank Castle, found you and brought you to the hospital.”

“No, Billy would never -” your head was pounding and all you wanted to do was close your eyes again, but you knew you couldn’t. “Billy would never hurt me.”

“I know it’s not easy to admit that the man you love is capable of violence, but men with his training and his trauma -”

“What trauma?” You demanded. “You keep acting like he’s some psychopath.”

“What has Billy told you about his childhood?” She answered back with an air of smugness that had you wishing you could get out of bed and punch her.

“Everything,” you answered without hesitation, certain that you knew far more about Billy than she ever would.

“He told you about his shoulder? About Arthur Walsh?” The corner of her lip seemed to curl up ever so slightly. “He told you about the assault?”

“Yes,” you answered, not bothering to hold back your annoyance, “I know that he tried -”

“Tried? Is that what Billy told you?” you were speechless, your mind racing over the implications of her words. “Ask yourself this; why would a man like Billy, a man with an ego like his, ever admit to being hurt like that unless he was using that admission to distract from something worse. He wasn’t the only victim of Arthur Walsh, do you really think he was the only who was able to -”

“Even if that’s true, it’s not your place to tell me,” you snapped, not willing to sit there and listen to her trying to expose Billy over something that might never have happened, not when you knew that she wasn’t saying it to be helpful, she was trying to destroy Billy. “Why are you so obsessed with wanting him to be broken? He’s not going to go back to you, Krista.”

“I’ve seen hundreds of men like William, they all snap and hurt someone eventually. At least I know how to control a dangerous man like William.” She answered back.

“He’s not dangerous, and he didn’t do this to me. He’d never hurt me - you can tell the cops that.”

“Because he loves you?” Her professional facade almost dropped completely and you could hear the derision in her words. “I wonder, has he managed to say the words yet?”

“Get out!” You finally screamed, the monitor besides you along with your screaming was enough to alert a doctor to your distress. “Get the fuck out, Krista!”

She was quickly removed from your room and you were given assurances that she wouldn’t be allowed to return. The doctor took the opportunity to check your injuries and give you something extra for the pain that helped you drift off to sleep again.

A couple of hours passed before you woke again, this time feeling a little sharper than before. There was a hand holding yours tight and, for a few moments, you assumed that it was Billy. But, as you opened your eyes, you realised that wasn’t the case.

“Sam?” Again, you found yourself reliving the hours after the crash and how you’d found him at your bedside, just like this.

“Hey,” he struggled for a moment, obviously not sure what to say to you, “how are you feeling? Do you need me to get you a doctor?”

“No, I - I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

“Your boyfriend called me.” You didn’t miss the clipped way he referred to Billy. “What the fuck have you gotten yourself into this time?”

You weren’t sure what it was about the moment, whether it was the worry on your brother’s face, the tremor in his voice, or the fact that you hadn’t seen him in over two years, but you found yourself bursting into floods of tears. You hated that this was how you were seeing him again, and how you felt so pathetic and useless because of it. It felt like he’d been proven right; that you couldn’t take care of yourself.

It was overwhelming and all you could do was sob at how out of control you felt.

“I’m sorry,” you told him as he tried to hold you without hurting you.

“It’s not your fault, you don’t need to apologise,” he muttered softly, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you.”

It took a few minutes for you to calm down enough to speak properly but Sam didn’t pressure you to talk, dropping back to his chair and keeping a tight grip on your hand. As upsetting as the whole situation was, you were glad that he was there with you.

“I don’t know what happened,” you told him, sniffling back more tears, trying to control the tremor in your voice. “The cops think it was Billy - it wasn’t, he’d never hurt me.”

“I know,” Sam answered with an unexpected certainty. “It was Scott. That’s how I got here so fast; Billy let me know that Scott was in New York looking for you. The cops know he didn’t do it.”

If Billy knew that Scott had done this to you, and he knew he was in New York...

“Where is he?” You demanded, voice threatening to break. “Where’s Billy?”

“He’s fine. That’s all you need to know.” There was something in his voice you didn’t like. He knew what was going on but he was deliberately keeping it from you, trying to protect you by keeping you in the dark. “He’s on his way here now.”

“But -” there were so many questions, so many things that you needed to know, but your brother shushed you.

“Don’t worry about it. The only thing you need to think about is resting, we’re taking care of everything.” Though his words did little to quell all of the panicked thoughts.

“I don’t want to stay here,” you told him suddenly. “I don’t like hospitals.”

“I know,” he sighed, squeezing your hand, “I promise I’ll get you out of here as soon as I can. Just close your eyes and rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you soon found your eyes drifting shut again, exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that was happening, and the pain medication certainly wasn’t helping. Sam kept hold of your hand until you started to fall asleep again, drifting in and out of consciousness.

You were half asleep when you heard Billy’s voice and you had to force your eyes open to make sure that he was really there and that you weren’t just dreaming it. The rough sound of Sam’s voice and the unmistakable sound of someone getting hit was enough to drag you out of your dream-like state. Your eyes opened in time to see Billy staggering backwards and frank stepping between him and your brother, trying to separate them.

“Guess I deserved that,” Billy grumbled, running a hand over his cheek.

“Damn right you do, you let this happen -”

“I was trying to keep her safe,” Billy spat back.

“Yeah, well, you did a shit job, didn’t you? She could’ve died, she -”

“Stop!” You interrupted, reminding everyone of your presence.

Whatever Billy might have wanted to say to Sam quickly died on his lips, and he moved to your side, taking your hand in his and leaning to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” he muttered, his voice cracking, threatening to break.

“I won’t, I’m so sorry.” You told him, squeezing his hand as tight as you could, all but forgetting that there was anyone else in the room with you.

Billy seemed to forget too, pulling the chair beside your bed closer so he could sit and keep hold of your hand, his entire attention focused on you. Frank muttered something to Sam and, reluctantly, your brother agreed to leave you alone with Billy for a little while.

“What happened?” You dared to ask. “Last thing I remember, we were still in Mexico with Karen.”

“We had a stupid argument. You got upset with me, remember?” Billy sighed. There was a fuzzy memory in the back of your mind, a feeling of worry that you couldn’t quite place, but that was all. You shook your head. “You realised I was hiding something from you, but I didn’t want to tell you, so you left...”

“You knew about Scott,” and suddenly everything made sense.

“After that day at Anvil, I had one of our analysts start tracking him. When I found out he was heading to New York, I knew I couldn’t let you come home until we’d figured out a way to deal with him.”

“Deal with him?” You repeated as your stomach started to tie itself in knots. “Billy... what did you do?” Though you weren’t sure you wanted an answer.

He reached for you, gently brushing your hair away from your face as he let out a soft sigh. “I did what I had to,” he whispered softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to keep you safe, but I made sure he’ll never hurt you again.”

“Billy...” you didn’t dare ask for clarification, almost certain you knew exactly what he was confessing to. Maybe you should have felt more than you did in that moment but, honestly, all you felt was relief. He’d killed a man to keep you safe and you did feel safe, you felt safer than you had in years, like you could finally breathe.

“I couldn’t risk him ever hurting you again,” his gaze lowered and his head hung forward. You could tell he was scared of what you might be thinking.

Reaching for him, you softly cupped his bruised cheek, gently urging him to look at you but, when he did, you found yourself lost for words for a few moments. What were you supposed to say? You couldn’t thank him for killing someone, and it wasn’t your place to forgive him.

“It’s okay, Billy,” is what you settled on.

“I thought I was gonna lose you,” he admitted, your heart skipping a beat at the panic in his voice, hating how vulnerable he sounded.

“The doctors say I’m gonna be fine,” you tried to reassure him, not wanting him to linger on dark thoughts like that.

“I love you,” he all but blurted out like it might be his last chance. “I should’ve told you sooner, I should’ve told you months ago. I never would’ve forgiven myself if you’d died and I hadn’t -”

“I know,” you told him softly, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “I’ve always known, Billy. You never had to say it, you’ve always shown me how much you love me.” His relief was palpable as he leaned in to press his lips to yours. Your fingers moved to tangle in his hair, holding him in the kiss for a few, sweet moments, before you muttered against his lips; “can you stay with me a little while? I - I don’t like hospitals...”

“Sweetheart, nothing is going to make me leave your side,” he smiled, sitting back and softly stroking your hair with his free hand.

It was enough to have you closing your eyes again. “I love you, Billy.”

“I love you too.”

When your eyes opened again, the room was mostly dark, save for the light that spilled in from the hallway. Billy was still with you, his head resting on folded arms on the edge of the bed, fast asleep. You couldn’t resist the urge to run your fingers through his hair, though you immediately felt guilty the moment he stirred.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he muttered sleepily, not bothering to lift his head.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” you told him, fingers still running through his hair. “You look tired.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll sleep when I get you home in a day or two,” he smiled up at you.

The low light in the room almost hid the bruising on his cheek until he turned his head a little and you found yourself reaching for his cheek.

“This looks sore.”

“I’ve had worse.”

“I’m sorry about Sam,” you muttered, inspecting the damage.

“I deserved it. He was right, I should’ve done more to stop this,” he shrugged.

You hated that he was making this all his fault, acting like there was anything he could have done to stop things, like he believed he should have been able to predict the future. But, you knew you weren’t going to change his mind, at least not while you were still laying in a hospital bed.

“What’s going to happen now?” Keeping your voice to little more than a whisper so you couldn’t be overheard.

“What d’you mean?” He asked, finally lifting his head a little.

“About... y’know, Scott...” you whispered, “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“Me and Frank took care of it, don’t worry. Nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing bad is going to happen to you ever again, sweetheart, I promise.”

While his promise made you smile, you couldn’t help but shake your head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Billy.”

His hand moved, covering yours and holding it against his cheek. “I mean it. There’s nothing I won’t do to keep you safe and happy. You’re mine, sweetheart, and I protect what’s mine.”

You fell silent again, letting your eyes close, his hand still on yours, just enjoying being with each other again. But there was something else in the back of your mind, a thought that wouldn’t go away now matter how much you wanted it to.

“Billy, Krista was here when I woke up,” opening your eyes, you watched for a response and noticed his shoulder tick upwards.

“What did she want?”

“She tried to convince me that you were the one who shot me,” you told him. “I didn’t believe her, but then she...” you stopped, not sure you wanted to say anything. You didn’t want to ask him about it, didn’t want to put him on the spot. It wasn’t your place, just like it hadn’t been hers, but just thinking about it made your heart ache.

“What?” He gently prompted, even though you were certain he didn’t want to hear it.

“She said something about when you were a kid, when you were hurt...” you paused again and, this time, Billy didn’t prompt you to continue. The silence hung for a round thirty seconds while you decided what you wanted to say. “Whatever happened that day, I just - I want you to know that there’s nothing that could make me stop loving you.”

Billy stayed silent but you saw the way he awkwardly tried to swallow the lump in his throat. And there was something about his discomfort in that moment that helped you remember Mexico, the night you’d left his room. You remembered the argument about his panic attacks.

“I’m sorry,” you broke the silence. “I don’t want to be like Krista. I don’t want to treat you the way she did.”

“You don’t,” he shook his head, pressing your hand tighter against his cheek.

“Can you just promise me one thing?”

“Anything,” he answered without hesitation.

“I don’t need to know what causes the panic attacks, I just need to know you’re okay,” you explained as delicately as you could. “So, can you promise me that if you’re ever not okay, you’ll let me know? You don’t even need to tell me why, I just need to know so I can be there for you.”

His answer wasn’t immediate and, for a moment, you could have sworn you saw a tear in the corner of his eye.

“I promise,” he all but whispered as he leaned in to kiss you again before muttering against your lips, “I love you so much.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

END NOTES : I just want to say I loved the responses to last chapter, and I really hope this chapter lives up to the hype? It was weird trying to write Billy's POV from second person, but hopefully it didn't turn out too bad. IDK if people were expecting more from Billy confronting Scott but, ultimately I decided that Scott was a piece of shit and not worth Billy's time or effort - just in case anyone was wondering lmao.

Anyway, I'm not 100% sure yet but I think next week might actually be the last chapter of this story (or I might do one more chapter and a separate epilogue). But I'm honestly just so happy that people seem to have enjoyed reading this, and I'm so thankful for all the support and lovely messages I've received over the course of this story!

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 6 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Two

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : this one is pretty PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing in this chapter is warning worthy, there’s a little tiny bit of sex talk but that’s it. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~2.8k

A/N : this chapter happens in the days after chapter one. Thank you so much to everyone who read and liked the last chapter, it really means the world to me!

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

You didn’t have the nerve to tell Tammy that you’d rejected Billy’s advances and that she’d probably not get the job because of you. You let her hold onto the idea that you’d been doing something good for her, instead of something stupid for you. The whole thing reminded you of why you’d become friends with her in the first place; when Tammy was being nice to you, when she wasn’t making petulant demands, she could be great to be around.

But, she kept asking when your date with Billy was and by the third day of waiting to hear about the job, you were taking extra deliveries just to avoid the apartment. You knew you’d have to tell her sooner rather than later, but you really were hoping it would be later, at least after you’d figured out a way to explain to her that you’d cost her a job because you’d told Billy Russo no.

And when she came into the den screeching and clutching her phone? You thought she finally knew the truth and were ready to give her the apology that you’d spent the last few days trying to practise.

“I got the fucking job!” She squealed, jumping up onto the sofa beside you.

“You - what?” It took a moment to hear her over the screeching and - no, surely Billy hadn’t given her a job just as a way of getting to you. He was a businessman, he wouldn’t do something so dumb just to get you into bed.

After the initial excitement fizzled out, Tammy dropped onto the sofa to sit beside you. “I start on Monday! I can’t believe I’m finally going to get my parents off my back.”

“I thought you didn’t even want the job at Anvil? Before the interview you said it sounded boring.”

“That was until I saw the guys that work there, I mean, it’s literally a building full of hotties. And I can still do auditions in the evenings and on weekends. Besides, most people work crappy jobs before they get famous.” To your surprise she was being very mature about the whole thing, though you weren’t sure how she’d deal with actually working a nine-to-five job.

“Well, I’m happy for you.” You forced a smile because you were happy, even if you weren’t sure that it wasn’t all going to fall apart when Billy realised he was never going to convince you to go to dinner with him

“Okay but you’re going to have to promise me you won’t fuck this up for me.”

“How would I even -”

“I get it, Billy Russo is hot, but I know what you’re like with guys...”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You knew exactly what she meant, and that was the worst part. Tammy had tried, and failed, in the past to set you up, to put you on dating apps, and play wingman for her during double dates, and every time it had ended badly.

“Just don’t go leading him on and then ghosting or whatever it is you normally do to guys. I don’t need you pissing off my new boss.”

“I’ll try really hard not to, Tammy.” If she noticed you were being sarcastic, she didn’t seem to care.

It wasn’t long before she disappeared off to celebrate with her friends, leaving you alone in the apartment, leaving you to try and figure out what was going on. As much as Tammy was - well, let’s just say she had certain skills that would be helpful in a secretarial position, you just couldn’t figure out why she’d been given the job.

Billy Russo wasn’t an idiot, that much you were certain of; he wouldn’t hire Tammy just because of you. In fact, he probably wasn’t even involved in the hiring process. You were overthinking it. And, ultimately, it didn’t even matter because you weren’t going to see him again.

You weren’t going anywhere near the Anvil building ever again.

But that didn’t stop you from opening your laptop and Googling his name.

It felt like an invasion of privacy, reading through articles about Anvil’s financial successes, about the heroic ex-Marine who’d built the company from nothing and now gave so much back to his fellow veterans. Your stomach knotted at every photo taken at some gala or corporate event where he had some stunning woman hanging off his arm (women who, upon reading the image captions were revealed to be leaders in their fields; lawyers, models, psychiatrists, and even a surgeon). Jealousy had you closing your laptop, and self-loathing had you making a promise to yourself to stay away from Billy Russo and Anvil.

But it wasn’t that simple. You kept thinking about his smile, the way his dark eyes had looked at you like he wanted nothing more than to take you apart piece by piece, and the way his laugh had felt like the rarest sound you could draw from him. Most of all, you kept thinking about the kiss, playing it over and over. Sometimes you even found yourself wishing that you’d just said yes - what was the worst that could have happened?

(No, no, you didn’t want to think about that.)

You couldn’t stop yourself from going back to the Google search, over and over again, just to look at him. There was just something about him, something that made you feel like a ridiculous teenager with a crush, but every time you looked at his eyes, it did something to you; it made you want something you knew you couldn’t have.

You needed to stay away from him.

But Tammy had other plans.

Her first day of work, the following Monday, she’d begged you to drop her off. Then, once you were there, she’d demanded that you help her carry her things to the door, using the reasoning that she had taken the job for you as well as her, so you could keep the apartment that you both loved so much.

All you wanted to do was get out of there as quickly as possible, so the moment Tammy was by the door you were pushing the box into her arms and stepping away, all the while telling her that you couldn’t pick her up later because of work. Tammy tried to complain, tried to talk over you, but you didn’t stop; you were going to get as far away from that building as quickly as possible. Ignoring her frustration, you shouted good luck over your shoulder and started back towards your car.

Only, there was a surprise waiting for you when you got there.

“I like your strategy; in and out before anyone can notice you.” Billy smirked, his arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the driver’s side door of your car.

“Well, clearly it didn’t work...” you answered awkwardly, stopping a few feet away from him, out of his reach.

“It’s hard to pull off when you’re dealing with a Recon Marine,” he laughed, still smirking that smirk that looked so good on him. “I hoped we’d run into each other again.”

“It’s hardly running into each other when you own the building and you know what my car looks like,” you shrugged and Billy’s smile waivered a little. Your stomach knotted at the sight, at the way his playful smile dimmed to something that seemed almost forced. He took a breath, unfolded his arms and stood away from your car.

“Look, I just wanted to talk - to apologise - I guess I was a little heavy-handed last time,” the words were enough of a distraction that he managed to take a couple of steps towards you. “I just - I’m not very good at...” he let out an awkward laugh and threw his arms out in a shrug, not finishing the thought.

“Asking women out?” You offered with an uncomfortable huff of laughter. “I don’t believe that.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Why not?” And, just like that, you were being pulled into another one of his little games.

You could have walked around him, could have told him that you needed to go, but you didn’t. The truth was, that you enjoyed it, you liked that playful side of him, even though it wasn’t fair of you to indulge him when you knew you’d still have the same answer for him at the end of all this.

“Because you’re - you.” And that was all the answer you could offer him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Billy laughed and your cheeks started to warm again.

“You don’t exactly strike me as the type of guy who struggles to get dates?” He remained silent, a questioning look on his face; he wanted you to say what you both knew you were thinking. “You know, the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing you’ve got going on...”

“And you think that makes it easier for me?” His smile was back, that playful glint in his eye that you just couldn’t seem to say no to.

“Doesn’t it?”

“Well, you said no, didn’t you?”

Shit. You’d walked yourself into a trap.

“Not because of you - or, I mean, not because of anything you did. I just don’t date.” You started to play with the cuff of your hoodie, not sure what else you were supposed to say to him.

“What if it wasn’t a date? What if it was just two people going for dinner?”

“I think it’s a bit late for just dinner, Billy.”

“‘cause I kissed you?” your gaze dropped, cheeks burning hotter. “I shouldn’t have, I should’ve waited, I just - I have poor impulse control when it comes to things I want.”

You didn’t say anything - what could you even say to any of that?

“What if it wasn’t dinner?”

“Billy...” you sighed.

“Is it really so bad that I want to spend some time with you? Get to know you a little?”

Was it? The terrifying thing was the fact that he almost had you convinced, almost had you relenting and agreeing with him.

“I’m not really worth knowing,” you shrugged, “I’m nothing special, Billy. I’m just a bike messenger who spends most of her time driving her roommate around.”

“I like talking to you, you make me laugh,” Billy shrugged. “And I think you are worth knowing, and I don’t give a shit if you’re a bike messenger or a brain surgeon, it doesn’t change anything.”

“Right, one of New York's most eligible bachelors taking a bike messenger out to dinner, I can just picture it,” an embarrassing snort of laughter escaped you, “probably couldn’t take me to any of the fancy places that you’re used to, so what does that leave? Pizza Hut or Five Guys?”

“‘I’ll take you for pizza if that’s what you want. We could go right now?”

“Billy, it’s eight-thirty in the morning, I’m pretty sure Pizza Hut isn’t open yet.” You laughed, despite the feeling that you’d been letting this play out for far too long now.

“I’m sure we could find a way to kill some time until it opens?”

“Oh really?” You shot him a look, eyebrows raised, very unimpressed with what you thought he was implying.

“Hey, I meant go get a coffee or something, get your mind out of the gutter.” He grinned and you couldn’t help but laugh again.

“I’d just be wasting your time.”

“I don’t think I’d consider any time spent with you a waste,” he retorted without even missing a beat.

“You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t, but I want to.”

“Why?” Why was he being so persistent? What did he think he was going to get from you?

“Why does anyone get to know anyone?”

“I don’t know.” And you really didn’t, that was the saddest part of all. “I’m not your type.”

“And what do you think my type is?” He asked, barely managing to hold back a laugh.

“Doctors, lawyers, psychiatrists - women who make at least six figures a year?” You realised far too late what you’d given away. “Women whose wardrobes cost more than I’ll make in my lifetime?”

“Did you Google me?” Billy asked, not even trying to hold back the smirk.

“N-no, I just - it came up when I was researching the job for Tammy.”

You fell silent and, for a few moments, so did Billy, long enough for it to make things feel all the more awkward when he finally spoke again.

“I’m not a bad guy, y’know.”

You looked at him, confused, not sure what he meant. Your fingers kept picking at the stitching on your cuff, and Billy seemed to notice.

“I’m making you uncomfortable.” He was, but you hated that he knew it. It wasn’t so much him that was the issue, it was you, it was all the messed up things in your past that made you the way you were.

“I don’t think you’re a bad guy, Billy." You said, not wanting to address whether or not he was making you uncomfortable because it was less him and more the general situation.

"Then let me prove it to you." You didn’t respond. “Just give me one night.”

“And, what? I’m supposed to fall madly in love with you?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“Not that. I don’t - love isn’t a thing I’m capable of, it’s not something I’m interested in.” He explained, like it was such a simple and ordinary thing.

“Then why waste a night together if you don’t even want it to go anywhere?”

“There are plenty of other places it could go. I could show you the best night of your life and, at the end of it, if you wanted to walk away from me, you could.” Billy shrugged.

“So you just want sex? There are easier ways to get laid, Billy.” You told him with an awkward sort of laugh.

“I don’t want easy, I want you.” Normally you’d laugh at a line like that, but the way he was looking at you, the way he looked like he was barely holding back from showing you just what he meant right there in the parking lot kept you silent. “Tell me you haven't thought about it, that you’re not thinking about it right now; how it’d feel to spend the night with me inside you.”

You bit your lip, giving away far more than you wanted to.

Yes, you’d thought about it - how could you not?

“Billy...” you sounded almost breathless and that really didn’t help the point you were trying to make.

“I can make you feel things you’ve never felt before.” The way he said it made you want it, made you want things that you knew you shouldn’t.

“So, you’d fuck me then leave me?”

“Not if you didn’t want that.” He took the slightest step forwards and you couldn’t bring yourself to recoil.

“But you said -”

“I said I wasn’t interested in love, that doesn’t mean that it has to be a one and done thing, if you don’t want it to be.” Billy offered like this was some business deal and you were negotiating the terms. You could see why Anvil was so successful with him in charge.

“Fuck buddies then? Until - what? - you get bored of me?” You didn’t even know why you were encouraging him, why you were playing his game and letting the conversation drag on.

“Or you get bored of me,” Billy shrugged. “Admit it, you’re thinking about it. You’re thinking about what it’d be like to fuck me.”

“Maybe I am, but that doesn’t change anything. I don’t date and I don’t think sleeping with you would do either of us any good.”

He waited a moment before dropping; “was the last guy really that bad?”

And, just like that, everything seemed to change.

“What?” It was obvious though, wasn’t it? You should have been surprised that he hadn’t put it together sooner; you didn’t date because your ex had been a real piece of shit to you. A moment later, you shook your head. “It’s not - I don’t like to talk about it...”

You steeled yourself for what came next; the endless questions, trying to figure out what had happened to you and just how bad it was, how he could fix you. Only, it never came. He didn’t push, didn’t try to convince you that he was better than whoever might have hurt you. Instead, he seemed resigned, like he knew he couldn’t do any of that.

“I’m sorry,” he offered softly, “I’ll leave you alone.”

And, just like that Billy seemed to give up, his smile almost completely gone, replaced by a look that you didn’t want to think about. It wasn’t quite pity, but instead an uncomfortable compassion, an almost understanding. Someone had hurt him too, you realised. You frowned, frozen in place as he closed the distance between you and gently pressed his lips to your cheek.

“You know where to find me if you ever change your mind.”

As he pulled away from you, your breath caught in your chest, but you didn’t dare watch as he walked away from you. It was too dangerous, you knew you’d say something, knew you’d call him back.

CHAPTER THREE

END NOTE : so the first two chapters were mostly set up, from next chapter onwards things will actually start to go somewhere. From this point on, things will get smutty and dark. The next three chapters are mostly done and I'll probably start scheduling chapters to post on the weekends going forwards.

Thanks for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day!

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x female reader #ben barnes #cmiyc ff

158 notes · View notes

hungermakesmonsters · 2 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twenty-One

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - back to their smutty selves

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing massive, just some smutty behaviour in public and a brief visit to Billy's mother in the care home. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.7k

A/N : After last week, we're back to more slightly fun times with reader and Billy. This is set around a couple of weeks after the last part!

Chapter Twenty-One

It wasn’t easy. Nothing about going back to Billy after everything that had happened was easy, and you both seemed to understand that something had shifted in your relationship. There were no more lies between you, no more walls to hide behind. When you’d told him the truth about Scott, you’d let him see a part of yourself that only one other person knew, and when Billy told you about Frank, about how he’d always traded his brother for a lavish lifestyle, he’d let you see how flawed he really was.

The honeymoon period of your relationship was over and, now, you were privy to the darkest parts of each other.

Only a year ago, that level of intimacy with another person would have terrified you, but now, knowing that he loved you despite your mistakes, made you feel closer to him than ever. And, in turn, knowing more about the things that hurt him, the things that made him hate and second guess himself, made you feel like you could actually support him when he needed you, instead of pretending like everything in his life was perfect.

The conversation about you moving in came up again and, of course, you said yes. Karen came through with the offer of a job with The Bulletin. And, suddenly, you felt like you had purpose again, like you were actually living your life instead of just existing. Karen even wanted to take you on a girls weekend to Mexico to celebrate.

But the new frankness in your relationship did cause a few little bumps, but they were things that you knew couldn’t be rushed; like Billy’s panic attacks. He still wouldn’t talk about them though, thankfully, he hadn’t had any that you knew of since your photography show.

And, on the topic of the show - well, let's just say you and Billy had words a couple of days after the show when almost half the photos that had been sold turned up at the penthouse. But, as much as you might have wanted to be annoyed about it, when he told you that he’d bought them so that he’d always have something to remember you by, you knew you couldn’t stay mad. And you had to admit that you’d never really been comfortable with the thought of anyone else owning that photo of him.

Little by little, he opened himself up to you, but never more so than he agreed to let you meet his mother. Though agreed might have been too strong of a word for it.

“I’m going to be late to Karen’s party tomorrow,” he told you as you sat down to dinner together.

“That’s okay, I can wait for you,” you shrugged, assuming that work would be keeping him late.

“No, it’s fine, you should just go ahead. I don’t know how long I’m going to be.”

“I’m sure Anvil won’t go bankrupt if you decide to finish an hour early on a friday,” you joked.

“It’s not a work thing,” he confessed, awkwardly dropping his gaze for a moment. You didn’t ask, you just gave him a moment, letting him decide if he wanted to tell you. And he did. “I go to see my mom on the last friday of every month, just to make sure everything’s -”

He trailed off into a sigh before offering you something of a shrug. That one little gesture told you everything; he wasn’t going because he wanted to, he was going out of some sense of obligation.

“I’ll go with you,” you told him the words coming out before you could even stop to really think about it.

“No, you’d just be waiting in the car, you might as well just -”

“No, I mean, I want to meet your mom.”

“What?” It was hard to tell if he was more shocked or confused.

It took you a moment to find the words to explain it to him. “For better or worse, she’s your family Billy and I want to get to know every part of you.”

Billy hadn’t been happy exactly, but he did relent and give in to you, and the next day, after work, the pair of you drove to the little home where his mother lived.

First impressions were not great, and you could understand why the PI had had such a low opinion of where Billy was choosing to keep his mother. A part of you did feel bad as he led you through the dingy, sterile corridors, the sounds of other residents echoing all around you.

You gripped Billy’s hand a little tighter and, when he gave you a concerned look, you explained to him that it reminded you of a hospital and that you hated hospitals.

A couple of the nurses offered muttered hellos as you and Billy passed them before stopping at a door labelled Carla Russo. He looked at you for a second before taking a breath and opening the door.

You weren’t sure what you expected, but what you found on the other side of that door certainly wasn’t it. Over the months you’d known about Billy’s abandonment, you’d built up this picture of a malevolent, uncaring and selfish woman. You’d pictured her as a monster, but the bedridden woman in front of you was the opposite of what you’d imagined. You felt almost bad for her, seeing what years of substance abuse had done to her.

Billy introduced you but you barely heard it, barely noticed much of anything until he let go of your hand and made his way around her bed to softly kiss her forehead. His mother didn’t react, but your attention was more concerned with Billy; with the stiff way he carried himself and the way he seemed to be forcing back a frown.

He spoke with his mother for a few minutes, as if she’d asked to hear about his day and how his work was going, while you took a seat. You half-listened, just watching Billy and trying to imagine a happy scene, one where his mother acknowledged him and smiled at his achievements, rather than staring vacantly at the ceiling.

When his attention finally returned to you, it was to tell you that he needed to go speak with her doctor, asking you if you’d be alright waiting there on your own or if you wanted to go wait in the car. You told him you’d stay, that you’d wait with his mother.

The minutes ticked by and you remained seated and silent, watching the figure on the bed as she just laid there, until something compelled you to stand, to move closer.

You looked down at her with all the sympathy you could muster, seeing a woman who should have still had so much of her life in front of her. As much as you wanted to hate her, all you really felt was pity, but not because of the state that she was in.

“You should know that your son’s a good man,” you told her, even though she gave no indication that she was listening or even realised that you were there, “he’s kind and funny, and so full of love. And he’s all of those things in spite of you. I don’t know how hard it was for you to leave him like that, but I pity you - not because you’re like this but because you gave up your chance to know him like I do. You gave up the chance to know what it’s like to be loved by him.”

If she could hear or understand what you were saying, she didn’t show it, but you weren’t quite done.

“He’s been through so much on his own, but he’s not alone anymore; he’s got me now, and I’m never going to abandon him like you did. You didn’t love or protect your son when he needed you most, but I’m never going to give up on him. I’m going to love him the way that he deserves to be loved.” The words tumbled from your lips and, somehow, you felt better for having said them, even if Carla Russo showed no signs of understanding you.

A moment later, Billy was back, telling you that he was ready to leave. You both gave his mother a terse goodbye before Billy took you by the hand and started leading you away. He didn’t say anything, as you stepped outside and started down the street towards the car. For a time you didn’t even think anything of how tightly he was holding your hand - you just assumed that he was feeling a little vulnerable after everything you’d just witnessed.

That is, until he pulled you off the sidewalk and into an alleyway.

Before you could ask what he was doing, Billy was kissing you, pressing you back against a wall with a familiar urgency. And, once you felt his erection pressed against you, any questions you might have had about what he was doing were rendered moot; he needed something from you and couldn’t even wait until you were back at the car to get it.

Without breaking the kiss, he lifted you, one hand pulling at the fastenings of his pants while the other held you securely until you thought to wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. The kiss broke as one hand slipped beneath your dress to pull your panties aside and the other pressed two fingers between your lips.

“Wet them,” He instructed, already sounding breathless.

You did as he asked without question, licking and sucking his fingers, lathering them with saliva. Once they were coated, he slipped the fingers between your thighs and used them to prime your entrance. While he did that, he took a moment to spit on his own hand before fisting his cock, trying to lubricate it.

His fingers pulled out of you, and you cried against his lips as his hips slammed into yours, filling you with every hard inch of him in one rough thrust. Despite his best efforts, you still weren’t wet enough, still weren’t ready for him, but you knew that this was more about Billy and what he needed than anything else. And, as he started to fuck you, your body quickly caught up, slickening around his cock and aiding his movements.

You fisted his hair, holding on for dear life and trying to ignore the scrape of brickwork against your lower back as Billy fucked you, taking everything that he needed from you. The quick and rough jerks of his hips told you that he wouldn’t last long, but you knew you wouldn’t either at this pace. And, honestly, the thought of doing this outside, in some filthy alleyway where anyone might stumble across you, thrilled you more than you ever thought it would.

He grunted against your lips and you did your best to swallow down every sound he made, even as his cock started to pulse inside you and you felt him start to come. You didn’t hesitate before reaching between your bodies and starting to rub your swollen clit while he emptied himself inside you. It only took a few moments more for you to find your own sweet release, your body trembling, your walls squeezing around him, before you both finally stilled.

He stayed inside you, his eyes finding yours, and you could tell his mind was racing, though you weren’t sure why. Your grip on his hair loosened and you slowly started to run your fingers through his locks, trying to set it to rights.

“Did you mean it?” He asked quietly and, for a moment, you weren’t sure what he meant. “What you said to her - did you mean it?”

“You heard that?”

“Every word.”

“Of course I meant it,” you told him as your lips pulled into a smile. “You’re mine, Billy. And I’m yours.”

“Forever,” he added before leaning in to kiss you again.

But the sounds of people on the street had him quickly pulling out and putting you down. You let out a groan at the feeling of emptiness and grimaced at the feeling of his cum starting to trickle down your thighs. Billy offered you his handkerchief and you did your best to clean yourself up while he did up his pants and kept a lookout.

“I can’t believe I’m gonna have to sit through this whole birthday dinner thing knowing you’re full of my cum,” he muttered, in a half-joking and half-serious tone that caused your cheeks to heat.

“Then you should have finished in my mouth instead,” you answered back quietly and the look Billy shot you had you almost bracing yourself to go again. For a few. Long seconds you held his gaze until he finally relented and let out a laugh.

“Maybe I’ll find us another alley once we’re done with dinner.” He smirked, holding out his hand to you.

“Is that a threat, or a promise?” You asked, grabbing his hand and holding tight as you started walking back to the Wraith.

It felt like his mood had lifted and he seemed more relaxed than he had when you’d first arrived to visit his mother. And you were glad, you were happy that you’d gone with him, and that he’d heard every word you’d said to Carla Russo. More than that, you were glad that he’d believed it.

When you finally made it to the restaurant, half an hour later than planned, Karen was first to stand to greet you both. And, as expected, you were the last ones there. Everyone else was already seated, each with a drink and the complimentary breadsticks were long gone. While she came to greet you, Billy did the rounds to greet his friends.

“Glad to see you finally managed to pull yourself out of Billy’s bed,” she smirked, and your cheeks immediately started to warm.

“That’s not - we weren’t -” you tried to argue.

“Please,” Karen laughed, “you look like you’ve just had your brains fucked out.”

Your hands quickly moved, nervously trying to smooth down your dress and hair, which just made Karen laugh more.

“I don’t mean like that, I mean -” she paused for a moment to look at you and think of the perfect word, “- it’s like you’ve got a glow or something.”

Your eyes went wide at the connotations of that word. “Karen, glow is really not a word I want to hear.”

“Why not? You’re using protection, aren’t you?” She asked and your cheeks continued to get warmer.

“I’m on birth control, but we...” you took an awkward breath and shook your head. “Look, it doesn’t matter, it’s not... that. We just - I dunno, we got a little bit closer today. Billy trusted me with something important and one thing kinda just led to another...”

“Uh-huh,” she kept smirking. “So things have been good since you decided to give it another go?” You nodded and Karen threw a glance in Billy’s direction. “Well, whatever it is you two have been up to, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy.”

Your gaze followed her and, a moment after you started looking, Billy was staring right back at you, a disarming smile on his lips. Karen uttered something about finally being able to order and shooed you in the direction of Billy and the two empty seats that had been saved for you both at the end of the table. And, honestly, you were glad to get away from her.

“You alright?” Billy asked, seeming to notice your embarrassment as you took your seat at his side.

“I’m fine, Karen was just being Karen,” you told him and Billy nodded, even though he had no idea what you meant.

Food was ordered and you enjoyed sitting back and watching Billy interact with his friends, happy that he seemed to be so happy. But his attention always returned to you eventually. By the time you’d all finished eating, everyone had had more than enough to drink to start getting a little louder, joking and laughing with each other.

Billy leaned towards you, pressing a kiss to your cheek before whispering in your ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, thinking back to the first time he’d uttered those words; the party, the bathroom, the way he’d kissed you, and the way he’d made you come for the first time. You bit your lip for a moment, earning a grin from him as he pulled back a fraction. Your eyes flitted down the table, noticing how everyone else seemed absorbed in whatever story Curtis was telling. Billy’s eyes didn’t stray from you.

His hand found your bare knee, causing you to inhale sharply - and that just made Billy grin more. His fingers moved slowly, ghosting up your thigh and taking the fabric of your dress with them while your legs instinctively started to part for him. You knew you were playing with fire and that this couldn’t go much further, but that didn’t stop you from shifting forward in your seat and making sure the table cloth hid what you were doing.

The further up your thigh his hand got, the more you knew you needed to tell him to stop; you needed to be the voice of reason because you were certain that any thought of common sense had long since abandoned Billy.

His name was called from the other end of the table and you almost breathed a sigh of relief as he turned from you and started talking to his friends. Almost. Even though he wasn’t looking at you, his hand kept moving, higher and higher.

You reached for your wine glass and tried to take a drink to keep yourself from moaning as his fingers finally pressed against your wet panties. The warmth of his fingers bled through the wet fabric and all you could think about was how you wanted so much more. Despite being sat at a table with twelve other people, you wanted to feel him inside of you.

“Right?” Billy spoke suddenly, looking at you with a big grin on his face, pulling you into the conversation, even though the only thing you could think about was his hand between your legs and how needy you suddenly felt.

You nodded, even though you had no idea what they were talking about. Everyone laughed and Billy continued talking, his fingers still pressing against you, slowly rubbing, driving you more and more insane with every passing moment.

When he finally dared to slip beneath the fabric and run his fingers through your arousal, you closed your legs. As much as you wanted it, you knew that you couldn’t; not there, not like that. But Billy’s hand remained, his fingers still teasing you as your thighs squeezed around his hand, and you knew you’d have to do something before you gave in to what you both so obviously wanted.

Leaning towards him, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, while your hand gently pulled his from between your legs. You whispered in his ear; “not here.”

You stood and excused yourself, heading for the bathroom, slipping inside and leaving the door unlocked behind you. Less than a minute later, Billy was with you, locking the door and pressing you back against it.

“I can’t believe you were going to try to make me come on your fingers in front of all your friends,” you tried to feign annoyance but the way he kissed you, left you with only one thought in mind.

“You should’ve told me you were so wet, sweetheart,” he groaned against your lips, “your panties are soaked.”

“Some of that is your fault,” you told him as your hand started to tug at the zipper of his pants.

“We’re gonna have to be quick,” he told you, letting out another groan as your hand reached into his pants to pull out his already semi-hard cock, “I think Karen already knows what we’re doing in here.”

“Less talking, more kissing,” you told him and Billy was glad to oblige, kissing you deeply while your hand stroked his cock.

You expected him to lift you up but, instead, you felt a gentle pressure on your hip, his hand urging you downwards. Eagerly, you dropped to your knees, your hand still running over his shaft. For a moment, you looked up at him, wanting nothing more than to tease and drive him crazy, but you knew that you didn’t have time for that.

Wrapping your lips around the thick tip of his cock, your hand continued to pump the shaft, feeling him getting harder and harder, and when he started to leak, your tongue greedily lapped it up.

He groaned your name, fisting your hair and bucking his hips forward, trapping you between him and the door as he thrust more of his cock between your lips. You gladly obliged him, pressing forwards and starting to give him what he wanted, listening to his barely contained grunts and groans. As he pushed closer, you found yourself trapped in place, with your head pressed back against the door as he took over completely. His hand stayed in your hair, holding you in place as he started to thrust in and out of your mouth, slowly at first and then a little quicker.

Your eyes stayed on his watching as, piece by piece, he seemed to start losing his mind. There was always something so real and so raw about moments like this with Billy, where you knew he was being driven by nothing but instinct and need. He needed you and, fuck, it felt good to be needed.

“Fuck,” he growled as you pressed your tongue against the underside of his shaft, drawing your cheeks in and sucking as he moved, pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

As his breathing got heavier and heavier, you braced yourself for his climax but, rather than coming, Billy suddenly pulled out of your mouth.

His hands pulled you up by your arms and, before you knew what he was doing, he’d manoeuvred you around the tiny bathroom and bent you over the skin. Your eyes found his in the mirror as he pulled up your dress and tore your panties. You bit your lip to stifle the moan that wanted to tear from you as his cock filled you.

With one hand on your hip and the other on your shoulder, Billy didn’t waste any time before he started to fuck you. Every time he thrust into you, you found your thighs knocking into the sink - it would probably leave bruises, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about anything except Billy and the way he was making you feel.

But the way he was fucking you made it impossible to stay quiet, and you knew you were one loud moan away from everyong in the restaurant outside knowing exactly what you were doing. So, you took his hand from your shoulder and pulled it over your mouth. And Billy’s reaction in the mirror sent a thrill straight to your core. And, with his hand muffling your gasps of pleasure, his thrusts only got faster, rougher, giving you both what you so desperately needed.

You hand stayed pressed over his against your lips, making it feel like some tender and intimate thing and, for you and Billy, you supposed that was exactly what it was. This was who you were; two people so in loved, so stuck on each other that you couldn’t even make it through a whole meal with friends without wanting to fuck each others brains out. And perhaps that should have embarrassed you, but it didn’t.

You were so happy. So in love.

Billy leaned over you, his lips on your neck for a moment before finding your ear and muttering that one little word that was guaranteed to send you over the edge.

“Mine.”

That one little word felt like it set off fireworks inside you, your body trembling as his hand pressed tighter against your mouth muffling the moans of pleasure that tried to escape as your body trembled. Billy came a moment later, pressing his lips back to your neck to dampen his own growls and groans, his hips still moving slowly, making sure to draw out the moment for both of you.

When he finally pulled out, it took you a moment to stand back up, reaching for some tissue to try to clean yourself up. Smoothing your dress down, you laughed as Billy picked up the tattered remains of your panties from the floor and placed them in his pocket.

“When I move in with you, am I going to find a drawer full of all the panties you’ve ripped off me?” You joked, reaching for him and brushing a stray strand of hair away from his face.

“It’s the second drawer in my nightstand, but it’s nowhere near full. Yet.” Billy grinned, and you honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking, and you knew you’d have to check once you got back to the penthouse.

You checked your make-up in the mirror and made sure you didn’t look like you’d just been fucked by your boyfriend over the bathroom sink, before letting out a sigh. You didn’t want to go back out to the others, you wanted to stay with Billy, but it had already been almost ten minutes and they’d probably all already figured out what you’d been doing.

“I’ll go back out now,” you told him, slipping past him to reach the door, “you should wait another couple of minutes - pretend you got a call or something.”

Billy nodded and agreed, and you gave him one last little look before slipping out of the bathroom and returning to the table.

A few people had left in your absence, and everyone seemed to have moved further up the table to be closer to Karen, so you took the empty seat at her side, even though it put you a little closer to Frank than you would have liked.

Karen gave you a look and you knew that she knew exactly what you’d just been doing. Everyone kept talking for a moment until one topic ended and Curtis moved the spotlight to you.

“Karen was just telling us how you two are going on a long weekend to Mexico, you sure you don’t want some company.” Curtis joked.

“It’s a girls only weekend,” Karen answered.

“How’d you get Bill on board with that, anyway?” Frank asked, and everyone was gracious enough to ignore the way you almost flinched when he spoke to you.

“Get me on board with what?” Billy asked, as he sat behind you, making a show of putting his phone down as if he’d just been on a call.

You let out a sigh and shook your head.

“You didn’t tell him yet?” Karen asked and you turned to see Billy looking less than happy about having no idea why he was suddenly the centre of attention.

“Tell me what?” He was looking straight at you, and you hated that you were going to have to have this conversation straight after everything that had just happened between you.

“Me and Karen are going on a girls weekend to Mexico to celebrate my job with The Bulletin. I was going to tell you last night, but...” you didn’t have to say it, Billy knew that you’d both been a little distracted by thoughts of you meeting his mother.

“Oh, okay,” he shrugged like it was nothing, and you had to hold back a sigh of relief.

Tense moment averted, the conversation continued and your hand found his on the table, giving it a tight squeeze as a silent thank you. You’d talk about it later, you’d explain to him how you wanted a little break from the city and - well, it was only going to be for three nights, and once you got back you’d be ready to move in with him. But, thankfully, as far as you could tell Billy was fine with it. So, instead of worrying, you just enjoyed the rest of the evening, waiting until you could go home with Billy.

Chapter Twenty-Two

END NOTES : So, after some drama they're back to their normal selves. I know the last few chapters have been a little bit heavy, so hopefully this one is more of a fun read. Also sorry it's a little later than usual, I got busier than expected this week.

As always, thanks for reading , and a big thanks to those who follow, like, comment and reblog! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

82 notes · View notes

hungermakesmonsters · 22 days

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Epilogue

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut and extreme cuteness. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~2.7k

A/N : I couldn't not write them getting married. This is a cute little send off for Billy and Reader.

Epilogue

TWO MONTHS LATER

You’d talked about a long engagement - it made sense given the fact that you’d only known each other for around eight months when he proposed (and those eight months had been some of the rockiest of your life). You’d both agreed that it was sensible to wait, to get used to living together before taking another big step in your relationship.

You made it six weeks before changing your mind.

Everyone thought you were crazy, Sam begged you to wait just a few more months (to Billy’s annoyance), and the news rendered Karen speechless for at least five minutes before she started to go into overdrive thinking about her bridesmaid duties.

You couldn’t explain why, you just knew. Nothing was going to change the way you felt about Billy and, every day with him just felt perfect, right. So, what was the point in waiting to make it official?

That was how you came to be standing on a beach in Mexico at sunset, a small group of your friends and family watching as you made your way towards the little altar and Billy. His mouth hung open as he watched you walk down the short, sandy aisle towards him and when you reached him, he was at a complete loss for words.

“I think that look means he likes the dress,” Karen joked in your ear.

Your dress was simple but elegant, hugging your figure in all the right places and showing just enough skin to be enticing without being indecent. Karen and your sister-in-law, Liv, and helped with your hair and make up, and you’d never felt better about yourself than you did in that moment. Especially with how Billy was looking at you.

“You look -” he tried and shook his head, “- wow.”

“You look pretty good too,” you joked, reaching for him to smooth the collar of his light grey suit jacket.

“You sure you want to do this?” He almost sounded nervous, like it was finally becoming real to him; you were going to be his wife.

“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want this,” you smiled, your hand cupping his cheek for a moment, before finally turning to face the man officiating over the marriage. Billy took a breath before doing the same.

You barely listened to the words being spoken, you were too busy watching Billy from the corner of your eye, nervous but happier than you’d ever been. And, when it was finally time for your vows, you turned to Billy, watching your normally calm and confident man fumble with a piece of paper handed to him by Frank.

“I never really had anyone in my life who loved me before you,” he started softly, his eyes fixed on yours. “I never had anyone want me after seeing every side of me, never had anyone who laughed at my stupid jokes until you. My life changed that day I took you for coffee and, since then, there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you.”

You’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t cry, that you didn’t want to ruin the wedding photos with panda-eyes, but the moment Billy took your hands in his, you felt your eyes starting to well up.

“When I’m with you I get to see the world in new and amazing ways; you give my life colour and meaning. I feel like I’m living and not just existing. And the way you love me -” his voice threatened to break, “- I never expected it, never thought I deserved it. But I promise you, from this day forward, I’ll do everything I can to deserve it, to deserve you. I promise to love you and protect you until my dying day, and I promise to make our lives together as fun and filled with happiness as I can. And I promise to trust you and listen to you, and never doubt you.”

He swallowed, trying to force the lump from his throat. “You’re my everything and I’ll never let you go.”

You blinked, still trying to hold back the tears as he gave your hands a gentle squeeze, and you were prompted to start your own vows. Unlike Billy, you’d memorised yours though, for a couple of seconds your mind threatened to go blank.

“Billy, you have the biggest heart and so much love to give. I know you sometimes think that it’s too much and that you want too much, but I promise you that’s not true. It’s never too much, not if it’s me and you,” you heard him awkwardly inhale through his nose, as if he was trying to fight back tears too. “I’m with you, no matter what life throws at us, I promise to stay by your side, and I will always protect and love you.”

You smiled at him and he smiled back with the most perfect and genuine smile you’d ever seen grace his lips. “I promise you a life full of adventure and bad jokes. And I vow to do everything I can to make you smile like that every single day because you do deserve it, Billy. Most importantly, I promise I’ll never leave you; I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“Always,” he muttered softly, gripping your hands a little tighter.

The ceremony continued and soon enough he was sliding the ring onto your finger, and at the words you may kiss the bride, Billy moved faster than you’d ever seen anyone move, pulling you close and kissing you like his life depended on it. And you lost yourself to it and him, letting him kiss you until your lungs started to burn and you heard Karen clearing her throat to remind you that you had an audience.

The look on Billy’s face when you parted was enough to have you laughing, your hand pressing against his chest, pushing him back playfully, but lingering over his racing heart.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me now,” he grinned at you.

“No backsies,” you agreed, struggling to tear your eyes off of him, even though your guests were on their feet, waiting to congratulate you.

Frank clapped a hand on Billy’s shoulder, pulling him back a little.

“Congratulations, brother,” he said in that usual gruff way.

“Your turn next, Frankie,” Billy laughed, glancing at Karen who threatened to murder him under her breath.

You spent the next half hour or so going around the guests. Sam and Liv congratulated you both, and Billy promised them that he’d always take good care of you. All of Billy’s friends took the opportunity to wish you good luck and tell you how much of a pain in the ass Billy was, making both of you laugh. And, when it was finally done, you all headed to the bar for food and drinks.

And, when the music started playing, you and Billy got to have your first dance. He’d asked to choose the song and had kept it secret, and when you heard the opening bars of Ho Hey by The Lumineers, you found yourself smiling up at him, holding him tight in your arms. And, by the time it reached the chorus and you heard Billy softly singing the line you’re my sweetheart, the tears you’d been trying to hold back started to spill.

He held you tight and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he told you, over and over again, like he couldn’t get enough of the words.

And you knew that you’d never get sick of hearing them.

At some point, since arriving in Mexico, your niece and nephew had taken a real shine to Billy, and spent at least an hour chasing him around, tickling and wrestling with him. And, to your surprise, Billy went along with it, seeming to genuinely enjoy it. You’d never spoken about kids but, for a few moments you found yourself thinking that Billy would make a wonderful father one day. Maybe.

Eventually it started to get late and, one by one, your friends started to disappear until there was only you, Billy, Frank and Karen left standing. You sat and drank until well past midnight, until Billy’s hand started to pull on yours, and you knew exactly what that meant, so you got up and started to say goodnight.

“If you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to go consummate our marriage,” Billy grinned, and you gave him a slap on the chest as your cheeks started to heat. “If we’re not done by breakfast, send pancakes. I have a feeling we’ll be at it all -”

“Billy!” You hit him again, mortified as Karen and Frank both tried not to laugh.

“What? It’s not like they don’t know what we’re gonna spend all night doing,” he laughed.

You had to pull on his arm to get him away from them before he said anything else, both of you stumbling and giggling like drunken teenagers all the way back to the honeymoon suite.

While you’d been at the wedding, the hotel staff had been into the room to put out flowers and a bottle of champagne, and had sprinkled rose petals along the floor leading to the bed - not that you got the chance to appreciate it before Billy started kissing you. Your hands ran up his chest, over his shirt, his jacket having long since been abandoned, fingers starting to tug at buttons.

“I love you, Mrs Russo,” he murmured against your lips before capturing them in another searing kiss.

You felt his fingers tugging at the back of your dress, pulling it down with a desperation that was just so Billy. You’d once found yourself thinking that, one day, he’d settled down, that he wouldn’t want you with such needy desperation, but now you knew just how wrong you’d been. Billy would always want you, and you would always want him.

He pulled back from the kiss when your dress fell, wanting to take in the sight of you. You’d picked the white lingerie set knowing exactly how he’d respond. And Billy didn’t disappoint.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he licked his lips, taking it all in.

“Yeah, Billy, that’s exactly what we’re gonna do,” you joked as you reached for his pants, stripping him down to his underwear.

“Oh, are we?”

Before you could answer, he’d lifted you off your feet, spinning you around before playfully throwing you onto the bed and climbing on beside you, kissing you despite your laughter. Your fingers tangled in his hair and you melted into the kiss, losing yourself in the perfect moment. His hands explored your body, fingertips running over your bare skin like he couldn’t get enough of you.

“There’s so much I want to do to you, I don’t even know where to start,” Billy admitted, seeming almost lost and at the mercy of his own desires.

“I know exactly where I want to start,” you answered, gently pushing Billy onto his back and straddling him.

He looked up at you as you started to slowly grind yourself against him. It came as no surprise that he was already hard for you, and he felt so good pressed between your thighs. You were content to tease him like that for a minute or so, before you removed your bra. Billy’s hands slipped up your body, from your waist to your breasts. It wasn’t long before he was sitting up, his lips and tongue on your nipples, enjoying all the little sounds that slipped from your lips.

Eventually, you lightly pushed him down again, smiling a devious smile at him as you turned yourself around over him, practically straddling his face.

“I like where this is going,” you didn’t have to see his face to know that he was grinning as his hand started to trail up the backs of your thighs, his lips soon following after. It was almost enough to distract you from what you wanted to do.

Your hands slipped his boxers down his thighs, freeing his hard cock, and Billy let out an eager moan as you took him in his hand and started to stroke him. Then you felt your panties rip.

“Billy!” You laughed.

“I want them for my collection,” he told you with a laugh of his own.

You were about to respond when you felt him part your folds and run his tongue through your arousal. The ruined panties were immediately forgotten as you lowered yourself and ran your tongue over the leaking tip of his cock. You felt him groan against you, causing you to shiver. Your lips wrapped around him and you slowly began to take him into your mouth, earning even more sounds from him.

His tongue set to work against you as you sucked him, lips slipping up and down his cock in a way that betrayed just how much you were enjoying yourself. You trembled as his tongue alternated between teasing your clit and pressing at your slit, his name a gagged sound, moaned even though your mouth was full of him. It wasn’t long before you were grinding back against his face.

You came suddenly, legs trembling as Billy’s greedy tongue continued to devour you while your lips kept moving, groaning around him until -

“Wait,” you heard him gasp, his hands pulling at your hips. You stopped and strained your neck to look back at him. “Not like this,” Billy panted, “I want to come inside you. I want the first time to be inside you.”

You weren’t sure why, but it made you smile how he wanted to make this moment special for both of you. Pulling away from him, before you could even fully turn yourself around, Billy had you pinned beneath him, his cock pitching into your so suddenly that it almost made your eyes roll back.

“I left something out of my wedding vows,” he told you breathlessly, stilling inside you, a ridiculous grin on his lips, “I promise to spend the rest of my life making you come as often as I can.”

“I’m glad you didn’t say that in front of everyone,” you laughed.

You gasped as he pulled up your leg, hitching it on his hip so he could bury every inch of himself inside you. His hand found your cheek and for a few moments he was content to just stare down at you, the smile on his lips enough to make you tremble around him.

“I love you,” he told you, pressing his lips to the tip of your nose, “and I vow to spend every night proving it by fucking your brains out.”

“I promise to let you,” you told him, reaching to slip your fingers back into his hair, pulling his lips to yours as he finally started to move.

It started slow, but it wasn’t long before your hips were lifting to meet his, desperate for so much more, desperate for everything. Every time he kissed you, you tasted a mixture of yourself and the Mai Tai’s you’d both spent the night drinking and it was an intoxicating combination. Your moans got louder and so did his, both gasping little breathless confessions of love, as you both took and gave everything that you needed.

When you finally came, it was his name on your lips, and Billy quickly followed after, remaining inside you long after he was done. His face pressed against your neck while your fingers ran through his sweat-damp hair, pressing little kisses to his temple.

It was strange to think how you’d gotten here; how he might never have noticed you if you’d remained sat in your car that summer's day, how you might never have gotten to this point if it hadn’t been for the faulty bathroom lock in your old apartment, and how you might never have seen him again if Michelle hadn’t sent him that thirst-trap on Halloween. There were so many ways you could have missed out on all of this, and just thinking about it made your heart ache.

You held him tight and pressed another kiss to his forehead, whispering; “I’m so glad we found each other.”

END NOTES : I promised an epilogue and there it is. Honestly, I just wanted to give them a happy send off. I know I already said it last week but thanks for reading, it's been a wild ride and I've really enjoyed writing and sharing this with you all! Maybe in the future there will be some one-shots, but for now I'm content to give them their happily ever after. I do have an idea of what I want to write next (don't worry, it's another Billy fic) and I'm going to post an excerpt sometime next week (and maybe even the first chapter but idk yet), so people can let me know if they want to be tagged in that, or if you already know you'd like me to tag you in future stuff, feel free to let me know in the comments or message me!

Have a great weekend!

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

83 notes · View notes

hungermakesmonsters · 2 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twenty-Two

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - the usual

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing major, slightly public smuttiness. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.9k

A/N : Reader and Karen go on vacation! What could possibly go wrong?

Chapter Twenty-Two

You’d dared to hope that Billy was fine with the idea of you going on a long weekend to Mexico without him but, as the day of your flight approached, you started to realise that he might not be. He’d started with little comments about how you’d have more fun if he went with you, about how you’d miss sleeping beside him - and, of course, you saw right through how he was trying to make it about how you would be the one missing him and not the other way around.

It was nice to begin with, it felt harmless and it made you feel loved.

But after the third time he’d managed to pull you into bed on the morning of your flight, it was starting to feel like it was getting out of hand.

You moaned and writhed on top of him, riding him fast and hard, your hands on his chest, fingertips pressing into his skin. And Billy looked up at you as desperate as you’d ever seen him, his hands on your hips helping your movements. Karen was picking you up in less than half an hour, but all you could think about was Billy and how good he felt inside you. His hands found your breasts, fingers lightly pinching your hard nipples causing you to groan.

“You’re mine,” he grunted beneath you, for what must have been the thirtieth time that morning.

You’d tried to resist at first, tried to playfully shove him away as you packed your luggage which had resulted in something of a wrestling match that ended with him pulling your clothes off and pinning you to the bed for twenty minutes.

The second time had happened in the bathroom, while you’d been trying to pack your toiletries while he was finishing up in the shower. It was a blur how that one had happened, but it had started with you asking him to hand you your shampoo and had ended with you perched on the bathroom counter, with Billy’s cock driving into you hard enough that you almost saw stars.

The third time, this time, was more your fault; you’d decided to kiss him while grabbing some underwear to pack from the nightstand on your side of the bed while he was lounging in nothing but a towel, and one thing had led to another.

He pulled you down into a desperate kiss as he came, holding you tight before confirming all your suspicions.

“I don’t want you to go,” he muttered against your lips.

“Billy,” you sighed, softly running your fingers through his hair as you looked down at him, “I’ll only be gone for four nights.”

“I know...”

He didn’t come out and say it directly; that he’d miss you, that he didn’t want to spend those four nights apart, as if some part of him was worried you might never come back to him. And you didn’t push. All you could do was hope that a few days apart would help him realise that you’d always come back.

After a moment, you moved, climbing out of bed to continue packing, while Billy just stayed there, watching your every move.

“Anyway,” you started again as you started folding clothes, “when I get back, I’ll be able to finish packing up my apartment and moving in here. Then you’ll have me here all the time.”

Billy was silent for a moment. “I could take you on vacation, if you really want to go away for a while.”

“Billy -” you stopped the moment you heard the sharp tone in your voice and took a breath. “I’ll FaceTime you every morning and every night before I go to bed, okay? And I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, finally getting out of bed and starting to get dressed, “just... don’t make me worry about you.”

You paused, frowning for a second, not really sure why he’d worry about you. Did he not trust you? Did he not think that you could look after yourself? Shaking your head, you decided not to ask. Nothing was going to happen, you were just going to have fun relaxing in the sun with Karen and, when you got home, you’d have proven that whatever Billy was worrying about was silly.

Karen arrived on time and, thanks to Billy’s distractions, you were still rushing around trying to make sure you had everything that you needed. Once you were ready, Billy took your suitcase and escorted you down to the lobby. Karen smirked at the sight of the pair of you but, thankfully didn’t say anything. She stood by and waited patiently as Billy kissed you and told you to let him know when you landed and when you got to the hotel.

“Look after her,” he told Karen as you finally managed to pull yourself from his arms, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Of course I will,” Karen laughed, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you towards the door, knowing that you weren’t going to get anywhere without a little intervention.

Billy watched as you left, lingering in the lobby even as you got into Karen’s car, giving a sad little wave as Karen started the car and pulled away from the curb.

“I don’t know what you did, but I think you’ve broken him,” Karen laughed, noticing the way you were glancing back at his building as she drove away.

“He’s just... worried,” you shrugged.

“About?”

“I’m not sure.”

Karen didn’t want to seem to linger on the subject of Billy, and she soon got you talking about how everything was ready at The Bulletin to start work and that you’d need to go sign the paperwork once you were back from Mexico. And, after everything that had happened over the last few months, you found yourself feeling happy, excited. Everything in your life felt amazing, like nothing else could possibly go wrong.

The trip to the airport was uneventful, you got there with enough time to grab a drink at the bar before boarding your flight and, once you were onboard, you had another glass of wine before losing yourself in your book for a few hours. Karen, on the other hand, spent most of the flight on her laptop, finishing up a story so she could send it the moment you got to the hotel.

It felt like all it took was the blink of an eye to transport you from cold, dreary New York to warm and (mostly) sunny Cancun. There were storm clouds on the horizon but your taxi driver assured you that the rain never lasted too long on the coast.

Once you arrived at the hotel, you found your rooms, and your vacation began.

You spent what was left of the day drinking Mai Tai’s on the beach before going for food. And, all the while, your phone kept lighting up with texts from Billy.

“I never thought I’d see the day when someone managed to turn Billy Russo into a lost puppy,” Karen joked over dinner.

“He’s normally not this bad,” you tried to explain, but it was clear that Karen didn’t believe a word of it. “He’s just - I dunno, complicated.”

“Speaking of complicated,” she started and you hated the way she let the word hang before finishing the question, “what really happened with you two that day at Anvil?”

Despite being your rock through the whole ordeal, Karen hadn’t asked, she’d given you time and space. She’d let you stay with her and had stepped up to help you with your photography show and hadn’t once tried to pry.

You took a deep breath and stayed silent for a moment, trying to decide what to tell her. Despite that little voice in your head that wanted to convince you that no one could now and that telling her would change everything, it didn’t feel right to keep lying and hiding things. Besides, Billy’s reaction to your past had left you feeling bolder, stronger; he’d made you feel like maybe it wasn’t all your fault.

Karen stayed silent while you reached a decision and, finally, you told her everything.

She sat, barely moving save to lift her drink, listening to the whole sorry story about you and Scott, about your sister, and about how you’d needed to get away from Florida. You told her about the PI and the file he’d had on you, and why he was looking for you. And, when you were done, the silence lingered for a few awkward moments.

“Holy shit,” she breathed out. “That’s - I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” You shook your head, not really wanting any sympathy for it. “And Billy knows all of that now?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I think that’s why he’s been a bit - y’know, a bit much lately.”

“I mean, I guess I get it? You’re the first serious relationship he’s had since Krista, so knowing that your asshole ex-boyfriend is looking for you is probably making him feel a little out of control.” She took a drink, giving you a second to ponder that thought. It wasn’t something you’d thought about, but it made sense. “Frank says he hasn’t quite been the same since...”

She paused. No, she hesitated, eyeing you like she wasn’t sure if you knew about Billy and Frank yet.

“Billy told me what he did,” you offered. “He blames himself for it, says he can’t even trust himself anymore...”

“He made a stupid choice, but what almost happened to Frank wasn’t on Billy. But, ever since then, Frank says something hasn’t been right.”

“He loves Frank like a brother, I think it just gets to him that he almost lost someone who means so much to him,” you offered.

“Like you,” Karen stated, “it sounds like he’s worried that he’s going to lose you.”

It was a heavy thought, but you weren’t really sure that you could do anything about it. At least, not from Mexico.

You had a few more drinks before calling it a night. And, once you were alone in your room, and comfortable in bed, you FaceTimed Billy just like you promised you would. He kept you on the call for almost an hour just talking to you about everything and nothing, sounding like he hadn’t had anyone to talk to all day, and it made your heart almost ache to see him that way. His face lit up when you told him you loved him and that you missed him.

And, as promised, you called him again first thing the following morning; he was already at Anvil, sitting behind his desk and looking annoyed from his first morning meeting. The conversation was short and sweet because you wanted breakfast and he was meeting with a client.

Over breakfast you and Karen decided that, from that point on, there would be no more mentions of Billy and Frank, and that you were just going to enjoy your vacation without thinking about New York.

The day was spent at the beach, relaxing and drinking, while Karen filled you in on what to expect when you started working at the Bulletin. She had a story for pretty much everyone that worked there; she told you who to avoid and whose good side to get on. Then, while she sat and read, you decided to take a walk along the beach with your camera.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so relaxed, even if your phone seemed to buzz with a new message from Billy every few minutes. On your walk you sent him some photos of the beach, of you, and of some of the wildlife you encountered. Daring to text wish you were here.

The day ended the same as the last; with dinner and drinks. There was more talking about The Bulletin and, after a few cocktails, Karen filled you in on some of the office gossip before breaking her own rule and turning the conversation to Frank.

“I’m waiting for him to ask me to move in with him,” she said with a sigh, “with what he makes at Anvil and what I make at The Bulletin, we could afford a really nice place... I feel like I’m getting too old to be having sleepovers with my boyfriend.”

You let out a laugh. “Have you tried telling him?”

“I’ve been dropping hints for months and he’s just oblivious.”

You spent the rest of the night laughing and drinking, losing track of time. It was well past midnight when you finally called Billy, and you were more than a little bit tipsy. He stayed on FaceTime with you until you fell asleep on the call. When you woke, you had a text telling you he had meetings all morning and not to call but that he’d text you as soon as he was free. So, you went to meet Karen for breakfast (and she was also feeling a little worse for wear after the night before).

It wasn’t long before you were sitting on the beach again, both quietly enjoying the sun and sipping Mai Tais, your blue cover-up catching in the breeze every time you moved. It wasn’t until one in the afternoon that you finally heard from Billy.

How’s it going? You having fun? Are you and Karen behaving?

You couldn’t help but smile at the message, missing him.

We’ve been having sex on the beach all day.

Grinning to yourself at your silly little joke, you could just picture Billy’s face as he read it; that unamused eye roll that he did whenever you made a terrible joke.

Funny. I always saw you as more of a Mai Tai sort of girl.

You read the message, then re-read it, trying to remember if you’d ever had cocktails with Billy before. You hadn’t. In fact, you didn’t think you’d ever mentioned them before. It must have been a lucky guess. Before you could reply, your phone buzzed with another message.

What are you wearing?

Your eyes rolled. Of course Billy wanted to know that.

A red bikini with a thong. It’s very sexy.

Was he at work thinking about you in a bikini, you wondered. (No, you hoped he was at work, struggling to focus because he was too busy thinking about you.)

Really? I’m picturing you in a black bikini with a blue long sleeve cover-up and an adorable straw sun hat.

You sat up suddenly, almost spilling your drink, looking at Karen, wondering if she’d been talking to Billy. It took her a moment to open her eyes and realise that you were staring.

“What -” she stopped, her eyes rolling. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

When you turned and saw him standing there, you didn’t know whether to laugh or scream at him, so you did neither. Instead you were just frozen for a few minutes, trying to figure out what the fuck he was doing.

“Billy, what are you -” you stopped mid-question, not sure you even wanted to hear his reasoning for whatever this was.

“I think I’m going to -” Karen was already half out of her seat, trying to escape the awkwardness of the situation and the argument she sensed was coming.

“No,” you told her suddenly, getting to your feet. “You stay here. We need to talk in private.”

For a second Billy looked ready to say something but he clearly thought better of it when he noticed how you were looking at him. You didn’t even have to ask him to follow you when you turned and headed towards your room. He stayed silent as he walked behind you but, even though you weren’t looking at him, you could tell he was eager to say something.

You practically stormed into your room and waited until you heard the door shut behind him before. You didn’t say a word, you just waited expectantly.

“So, I take it you’re not happy to see me?”

“What are you doing here, Billy?” You sighed, not sure exactly how he’d been expecting you to react. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off before he could start; “and don’t say it’s because you missed me. I’ve only been gone two days.”

His mouth shut and he took a few seconds to think. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You leaned back against the dresser, watching him as he dared to step closer. It felt like there was something else there, some other meaning to his words that you didn’t quite understand. Did he think you were completely incapable of looking after yourself, or was this his abandonment issues playing up again.

“Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You finally asked. “It’s not like I’m here on my own, Billy.”

“I know, I just don’t trust anyone else to look after you,” he confessed, stepping closer, the distance between you shrinking to nothing. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you...”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to me,” you tried to tell him, most of the anger draining from you when you saw the uncomfortable look on his face. “If we’re gonna be together, you can’t keep smothering me.”

“Smothering you?” Billy repeated, the words obviously cutting deep. “That’s not -”

“It’s what it feels like.”

“Well, I’m sorry that you feel that way,” he tried, obviously not sure what he wanted to say to you.

“That’s not an apology,” though some part of you understood that he hadn’t meant it that way, you weren’t going to let him feel like you were the one being unreasonable. “Look, I know that this is hard for you but I need you to understand that sometimes I’m gonna need some space, but just because I want some time apart doesn’t mean that I’m not coming back.”

He stayed silent for a moment, taking a breath and looking like he was weighing up his options. Still, somehow, you felt like there was more to this than he was letting on, but it was clear he wasn’t ready to tell you whatever it was.

“Okay,” Billy relented, “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here and I know I can’t expect you to stay with me all the time.”

“Then why are you here?”

Billy shrugged. “Poor impulse control - I didn’t stop to think about it, I just wanted to see you.” He stepped a little closer, his hand finding your cheek. Hesitating a second, he waited to see if you’d pull away from him and, when you didn’t, he leaned in and kissed you softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your vacation.”

“You didn’t ruin it,” you sighed, “but you’re definitely gonna have to apologise to Karen for turning up uninvited.”

“I will,” he answered before pressing his lips to yours again.

You stayed like that for a few moments, trading sweet little kisses, enjoying the fact that he was there, despite the lingering feelings of annoyance. Then his hand dropped to yours, fingers lacing with yours as he led you out onto the balcony.

“Wow, look at that view,” he muttered, his eyes on the beach and ocean below.

You both fell silent for a few minutes, enjoying the scenery and the sounds of waves lapping against the beach.

“I missed you too,” you finally admitted quietly. “I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t miss you when we’re not together, but I need you to understand that you can’t do anything like this again.”

Billy let out a slow breath and nodded.

“I won’t,” he promised. “I just... I want you to know that anything I do, even if it pisses you off, it’s because I care about you.”

“I know, Billy, but -” you cut yourself off when he moved to stand behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you back against him.

The familiar press of his cock against your ass had you sighing. Brushing your hair aside, he started to trail kisses along your neck and then, as he relieved you of your cover-up, along your shoulders. His other hand slowly moved down your stomach and, by the time his fingers slipped into your bikini bottoms, you were pressing back against him, giving in to him. As annoyed as you were, you’d missed him and you couldn’t help but give into him.

His fingers slipped lower and your thighs eagerly parted for him, desperate for his touch after two nights without it. The press of his fingertips against your clit destroyed the last of your willpower and you soon felt that familiar slickness between your folds. A soft moan escaped you, your hand reaching behind and tangling in his hair, ensuring his lips continued to trail kisses against your neck, while your other hand moved to grip the balcony railing.

“So wet,” he muttered, kissing the skin just behind your ear, his voice low, barely contained. “You must have really missed me, sweetheart. Have you been lonely without me?”

“Yes,” you gasped, barely holding back a moan as he plunged a finger into your trembling body.

Your gaze dropped to the beach below, to all the people on their sun loungers who were completely unaware of what was happening above them. It was enough to cause your cheeks to heat, thinking about how one little sound could expose you to everyone on the beach, including Karen.

And Billy seemed to realise exactly what was running through your mind, and he almost caught you by surprise when he pressed a second finger into you. Biting your lip, you managed to stifle your moan, but only just.

“Billy, please -” you begged, grinding yourself back against him. You needed more; more of him, more of everything. Even though it had only been two days, you needed more than his fingers, you needed all of him.

Fortunately, Billy was just as desperate and, if you’d been able to see his face, you would have known that he was barely holding himself back. The hand between your thighs pulled back, leaving you feeling wet and empty. He peeled your bikini bottoms down and let them fall to your ankles, and you licked your lips as you heard the zip of his pants and the sound they made hitting the floor, thanks to the phone in his pocket. Your fingers tightened in his hair, holding him against you, loving the sound of his eager, panted breaths by your ear.

Teeth sank deeper into your lip, barely holding back another moan as you felt the ridge of his cock slip through your folds, teasing you, coating his shaft in your wetness. The swollen tip of his cock pressed against your clit, making you squirm against him.

As much as he wanted you, it quickly became clear that he wanted you to keep begging for him. At first, you tried to deny him, but his fingers had left you primed and desperate for him, eager for him to claim you.

“Fuck me, Billy. Please.” You finally broke.

His cock pitched inside you so suddenly, filling you so quickly that you let a cry spill out, but he didn’t give you time to think about the people on the beach below, or anyone else around who might have heard. Billy let out a groan of his own as he seated himself inside you, revelling in the feeling of your slick walls hugging him tight. You were so overwhelmed that you needed a moment to compose yourself, to make sure you didn’t start screaming his name.

Billy didn’t give you that.

One of his hands covered yours on the rail, while the other found your hip to hold you steady while his hips slowly pulled back then quickly snapped forwards, again and again. You whimpered desperately, trying to stay quiet, but that didn’t stop you from pressing back against him, meeting each thrust halfway.

He groaned against your skin as his lips moved along your neck, kissing and sucking, leaving telltale marks in his wake.

“This needy little pussy is mine,” he told you in a low growl, teeth scraping against your neck. “Two days and it’s already desperate for me, gripping me so tight...”

You’d missed his filthy mouth almost as much as you’d missed him. And, just like that, everything was Billy and nothing else mattered.

He pulled back, almost slipping from you completely before driving forwards again, so roughly that your legs nearly buckled beneath you. Your fingers slipped from his hair to join the other hand on the railing, bracing yourself, wanting him to do his worst. Your insides thrummed with pleasure as he fucked you, your pussy fluttering around his cock every time he filled you, pushing you closer and closer to breaking point.

You came with a whimper, somehow managing to choke back the scream that he so desperately wanted to rip from you. Tears formed in the corners of your eyes and your whole body shook, overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through your body.

“You get so fucking wet when you come,” Billy grunted, his teeth nipping at your neck again. You could practically hear the smile in his voice. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’re not done yet.”

There was no stopping, no slowing down, even as you tried to pull away, too sensitive and over stimulated as your orgasm continued to shake your body. But his grip on your hip held you in place, his whole arm moving around your waist when you continued to try and squirm away. And, all the while, he kept driving his cock into you, from tip to hilt, every hard inch.

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the railing, knees trembling beneath you. When it almost became too much, Billy hand moved from yours and settled on your back, urging you forwards so you were almost bent over the railing. Suddenly you could see the whole beach and it made it feel all the more dangerous, like there was no way you wouldn’t be caught. But you still didn’t want him to stop.

“Fuck, Billy,” you moaned as softly as you could, back arching, ass pressing back to try and meet his thrusts, “you’re so deep...”

“Want me to come for you?” He leaned down to pant in your ear.

“Yes,” you groaned with unabashed desperation. “Come inside me, please…”

“Not until you come for me again,” he told you with a breathless laugh. “You don’t get my cum until this needy little pussy begs for it.”

A whimper spilled from your lips, not sure you could come again after the climax he’d already dragged from you, but what was the alternative? You knew now that Billy could keep going, that he’d fuck you senseless for hours if you let him. Letting one hand slip from the railing, you quickly found your swollen clit and started to circle it with your fingers.

His pace quickened, thrusts turning short and shallow, only fucking the deepest parts of you, letting out a low groan when he realised what you were doing with your fingers.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” his lips brushed against your ears as he muttered, his breath catching as he felt you start to tighten around him, continuing to fuck you as you got closer and closer to the edge again.

Suddenly, his fingers gripping your hair, pulling back your head so you could see his face.

“I want to see your face when you come for me,” he all but demanded, the commanding tone of his voice earning a moan from you. And you did as he wanted, keeping your eyes on his as he kept fucking you and your fingers kept pushing you to your breaking point.

He broke when you did, spilling hot inside you as your walls started to convulse around him. With a couple more thrusts, he buried himself deep inside you, remaining there while he emptied himself, giving you everything you’d begged for and more. You stayed where you were, legs too weak to even think about trying to move. Billy leaned forwards, placing his chin on your shoulder and looking down at the beach and, out of the corner of his eye, you could see he was grinning.

“I wonder if any of them know what we just did.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to remember that you were still supposed to be annoyed with him, but it was impossible when you could still feel his cock gently pulsing inside of you. His lips soon moved back to your neck, this time trailing soft and tender kisses along your skin.

“You know, you can’t just fuck me every time you annoy me, right?” It was half-serious, half-joke, as you rested your head against his.

“Why not?” Billy asked. “Seems to be working pretty well so far.”

As much as you knew you shouldn’t, you couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, but I’m your pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, you are. I guess I’m stuck with you then?” Billy gave a hum and a nod in response. “Fine, but you’re still gonna have to explain to Karen why you’re crashing our girls-only vacation.”

He let out a sigh. “Fine, but I'm gonna need one of those Mai Tais first...”

Chapter Twenty-Three

END NOTES : I feel like it was obvious that he was going to turn up but I hope it shocked at least a couple of you lmao.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading, hope you enjoyed this one! Have a lovely weekend!

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 3 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Seventeen

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] There's some very light choking (with enthusiastic consent) . Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.9k

A/N : Set the morning after the last one. I hope you enjoy some of the cuter moments in this one because I really enjoyed writing them! As always thanks so much for reading!

Chapter Seventeen

You woke to the sound of moaning, your eyes, eyes opening slowly as the ache between your legs reminded you where you were and how you’d spent last night. A sleepy yawn slipped from your and you snuggled back against Billy’s chest, content to fall asleep in his arms again. But then you heard the moaning again. You blinked, first looking up at Billy and then looking down to the phone in his hand, realising he was playing one of the videos you’d made last night.

Your cheeks started to warm immediately.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Billy smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head while he stopped the video on his phone.

“Don’t stop watching on my account,” you smiled at him as innocently as you could despite the awkward embarrassment you felt.

“You wanna watch with me?”

“Is it... good?” You dared ask, not even sure if good was really an appropriate word for it.

“I only watched the first one, but it’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” Billy grinned, “you did so good, sweetheart.”

“Did I?”

“Want to see for yourself?”

“... yes.” You bit your lip nervously, not entirely sure that you meant it, but Billy gave you a few seconds to think. You tried to settle yourself in a better position to see his phone, but Billy decided that there was a better way.

“I’ve got a better idea,” he told you, smirking a smirk that sent a thrill through your whole body, and you realised just what he was thinking when he reached for the TV remote.

Moments later, the video was mirrored on the fifty inch screen on the other side of the bedroom. Your cheeks continued to burn and your thighs clenched together at the sight of the frozen image of you between his knees with every inch of his cock in your mouth. Billy hit play, turning up the volume so you could hear every little sound; every gasped breath, every eager moan, and every wet slurp as his cock slid in and out of your mouth. And, despite the creeping feeling of embarrassment, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from it.

Beneath the sheets you reached for his cock, not at all surprised to find him already hard. Your hand wrapped around him while the other took hold of his hand and led it between your thighs, needing him to touch you. Neither of you spoke, neither tore your eyes from the TV. His fingers trailed through the gathering wetness of your arousal, spreading it from your slit to your clit before starting to circle the swollen bundle of nerves.

The woman on the screen desperately moaned around Billy’s cock and your breath caught at the sound, hand squeezing a little tighter as it ran along his erection. Recorded Billy’s groans got louder and louder until he finally came and you licked your lips, remembering the taste of him, as you met your own eyes on screen. She looked so happy as his cock slipped from her lips.

One video ended and Billy hit play on the next.

You watched, jaw slack as his lips ran across your chest, sucking your nipples as screen-you reached for his cock and sank down it. Billy chose that moment to sink his fingers into you, reminding you how good it felt to be full of him. You writhed against his touch, parting your thighs and letting him sink his fingers down to the knuckle.

“I’m yours, Billy. This sweet little pussy is just for you.”

Beside you, Billy moaned at the words, letting you know that he was just as affected by all of this as you were. Your hand moved faster on his cock, trying to keep time with the way you were riding him on screen.

“Always, Billy. Always yours.” The you on screen cried out as she came. You didn’t remember it, but the recording continued, words repeated over and over again, as Billy had laid you on your back and continued to fuck you. You could hear every detail, every gasp, everly slap of flesh meeting flesh, the sound of his cock roughly driving in and out of your wetness. It was no wonder you felt so gloriously sore today.

“Harder,” you’d begged, “ruin me, Billy. Make me yours forever.”

You came on his fingers suddenly, panting for breath, your whole body trembling. You couldn’t remember saying those words to him, but they felt right, they felt real to you. He had ruined you, you would be his forever.

“Billy,” you murmured, lifting your head to see his face, “fuck me. Please?”

You didn’t have to ask twice. He moved quicker than you’d anticipated, laying you back and sliding his cock into you with ease. You were so wet and ready for him, practically dripping with need. In the background you could still hear the moaning in the video and all of your desperate pleas, but soon that became secondary to the sound of his moans, here and now, as he started to fuck you - not like the Billy on the video, but instead with a slower rhythm, taking his time. You were still sensitive and he’d been pretty close before you’d let go of his cock, and he didn’t want to rush any of this.

His lips found yours, swallowing down the moans that started to slip from you, but even the kiss felt different, like something had changed between you. He wasn’t just fucking you, he was loving you the only way that he knew how. Your hand reached for his, fingers entwining, holding on as he pressed it to the pillow beside your head.

And, in the background you heard it, Billy’s deep voice, full of hunger; “you’ll always be mine. And I’m yours. Always.”

“Billy...”

If he heard it, he didn’t respond, he just gave your hand a squeeze and continued driving his cock into you in steady but deep thrusts. Your free hand slipped slowly up his back and neck until it found the back of his head, your fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him down into another kiss. More moans slipped between your lips, and you could tell he was getting close. And so were you.

“I’ll never let you go...” he’d told you in a low, possessive growl.

You cried out against his lips as you came and, seconds later, he was following suit, swallowing down your desperate moans as the you from last night on the screen cried out as she came undone. Billy gave a few more awkward shifts of his hips as he came inside you, groaning as your walls tightened around him, your body demanding everything from him as he emptied himself inside you.

When he stilled, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him against you and gently running your hand up and down his back, keeping him inside you as everything fell silent. The video had finished and the only sound between you were panted breaths. You didn’t move and neither did he, still holding your hand in his as he finally caught his breath, keeping his face hidden against your neck.

The silence dragged on and it was strange - Billy normally had something to say after making you come, but he stayed silent. You let a few minutes pass, just holding him, enjoying the weight of his body on top of you, but the quiet soon became unbearable.

“Billy?”

He didn’t answer and your heart sank. Was this because of the video? Did he regret the things he’d told you last night? Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to block out all the terrible thoughts that started to fill your head, about how you’d given yourself over to a man who’d never be interested in anything more than sex with you, a man who’d say whatever he needed to say just to make you come.

(But hadn’t he told you that that was what it would always be? Hadn’t he been honest from the start? You couldn’t be angry, it was your own fault for catching feelings, for loving him.)

“It’s okay, Billy. What you said, it was just the alcohol, it was just - I dunno. We were caught up in the moment. It’s fine, I don’t expect you to -”

“Stop,” he finally spoke, lifting himself to look at you. Somehow you managed to force something of a smile to your lips, trying to soothe the worry you saw on his face. “It’s not that.”

“Then what?” You ask, your voice threatening to break, feelings of fear and rejection threatening to drown you. “Did - did I do something wrong?”

Because that had to be it, didn’t it? You’d said too much or you’d asked too much of him, and now Billy was going to have to let you go.

“Hey, hey, no, sweetheart,” he told you softly, thumb gently caressing your cheek, wiping away a stray tear and putting a quick halt to your internal panic. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me, I’ve just - I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and it’s just a lot to try and wrap my head around. But I don’t regret it, okay? I don’t regret any of this.”

You gave a slight but subdued nod, not really understanding what any of that really meant in terms of your relationship and where things were going. When you loosened your hold, Billy took the opportunity to roll away, laying himself beside you and fixing his eyes on the ceiling. He let out a slow breath but stayed silent.

He didn’t speak again until he felt you sit up.

“I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?” He kept looking up, as if it was just easier not to look at you.

“Yeah.”

“Never told you about my mom though,” he fell silent for a second and you let him take all the time he needed. “She was a junkie, choose getting high over her own kid. She safe-haven’d me at a fire station in Albany a few hours after I was born.”

You listened in silence, your heart aching for him.

“Never even found out who my old man was,” he continued, “spent my whole childhood being moved between group homes, never staying anywhere long, never feeling wanted. So this is all new to me and I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel ‘cause no one’s ever felt that way about me, and I don’t even know if I can -”

“Billy -” you interrupted, realising that he was spiralling, unable to stand to see him in any more pain.

He didn’t move, still didn’t look at you, but the look on his face made the ache in your chest worse. Lifting yourself onto your knees and leaned over him, taking his face between his hands, forcing him to look at you.

“Billy, you don’t need to know how to feel. I don’t need you to try and do anything you’re not comfortable with.” You told him softly, but firmly. “I’ll never ask you to tell me that you love me or anything like that. Those words don’t matter to me. All I care about is having you here with me. Just having you with me is enough.”

“What if it stops being enough?” He asked softly, sadly, like he thought you’d just get bored of him eventually.

“What if it doesn’t? What if you find someone else or realise you can’t stand being around me? What if you find out something about me that’s so awful you never want to see me again?” That made him look.

“That’s not gonna happen,” he told you like it was the only thing he was genuinely certain of.

“You don’t know that,” for a second he looked ready to argue, so you placed a finger on his lips, “I just don’t want either of us to have any regrets, okay? I’m so so happy with you, Billy. And if you’re happy with me then that’s all we need.”

Billy looked like he had more he wanted to say, you could see it written all over his face but, for whatever reason, he decided to stay silent. Lowering yourself back to the bed beside him, you pressed into his side and rested your head on his chest again, closing your eyes and listening to his heartbeat. He let out a slow sigh and softly began to stroke your hair, his actions saying more than words ever could. And, for a few sweet minutes, you laid together, enjoying just being together. Until his stomach gave an uncomfortable growl.

You burst out laughing, burying your face against his chest at the sound. And, soon enough, Billy was laughing too.

“Listen, it takes a lot of energy to keep you satisfied.” He joked.

“Oh, so this is my fault?” You kept on laughing. “I suppose this means I should feed you if I want to get laid again?”

“A stack of pancakes minimum.”

“A whole stack? Wow, I really must have worn you out. Poor baby.” You lifted your head and smiled up at him.

“Remind me, how many times have I made you come in the last twenty-four hours?”

“Okay, fair point. I guess we should get up then.”

It took a lot of effort to roll yourself away from him and even more to sit up. You let out an uncomfortable groan and then it was Billy’s turn to laugh at you.

“Feeling sore?”

“It’s the price I pay for having an insatiable boyfriend,” you glanced back over your shoulder, smirking at him, and watching as he crawled across the bed to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“Insatiable?” He muttered, starting to trail kisses along your shoulder and up your neck.

“He’s completely sex-mad.”

“He sounds like a lot of fun,” his hand skimmed up your body to your breast as his lips continued their assault on your neck.

“He’s alright, I guess,” you smirked and Billy rewarded your little joke by pinching your nipple. “Billy, if you don’t behave yourself, you’re not going to get those pancakes.”

“Pancakes can wait,” his lips moved to your ear, teeth nipping at flesh. You were almost ready to give in to him, to fall back into bed with him, but then your stomach gave an awkward growl of its own, prompting Billy to relent. “Fine, I guess your insatiable boyfriend can wait until after breakfast.”

Turning a little, you looked at Billy, a wide smile pulling at your lips that quickly confused him.

“What?” He asked with an awkward laugh.

“You actually called yourself my boyfriend.” As much as you didn’t need labels, it felt nice that he was willing to say it, even if it was just part of some dumb joke. And he could obviously see just how much it meant to you because, a second later, he was smiling too, reaching to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear before kissing your cheek.

“Yeah, well, I guess I don’t entirely hate how it sounds.”

“You know what that means, don’t you?” You teased and Billy raised an eyebrow. “Billy Russo is now officially off the market.”

“I was off the market the moment we met,” he laughed.

Rolling your eyes, you got to your feet, not believing it for a second. You were about to head to the bathroom when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to look at him.

“Actually, it was before we met.”

“Oh are you gonna tell me it was fate?” You laughed.

“That’s not what I meant,” he kept hold of your wrist as he got to his feet. “The day we met, I saw you from my office window - I wasn’t going out for coffee, I went out to try and meet you.”

“Bullshit,” you laughed, knowing it couldn’t possibly be true. Why would a man like Billy go out of his way to meet someone like you?

“Ask Frank, he was there,” Billy shrugged. “That call I got, just before I caught you looking at me, that was Frank. I got him to call to tell me if you were looking at me, and you were.”

“Then why did you look so annoyed?” You countered.

“Because Frankie kept telling me I should leave you alone,” his eyes met yours and you saw that familiar darkness burning there, “and I haven’t wanted to leave you alone since I first set eyes on you.”

It was a lot to wrap your head around and you weren’t even sure where to start. Your stomach gave another grumble and you decided that this wasn’t the time to try and unpack it all. Taking Billy’s hand in yours, you started to pull him towards the bathroom.

“I need a shower before we make pancakes.”

And, of course, Billy had no objections.

He started the water and it wasn’t long before you were both standing under the hot spray. Billy ran his fingers up and down your arm, over your scars - it was something he’d started doing recently, touching your scars like he was trying to soothe you. Eventually he started to wash you, slowly running his hands over every inch of your body, until he reached your ass and his touch caused you to grimace. It took him less than a second to realise why you were feeling tender and the shame that filled his face caused your heart to give an uncomfortable squeeze.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he started, sounding devastated, “I never meant to -”

“Billy, it’s fine,” you told him, placing a hand on his cheek, trying to calm him down.

“I hurt you.”

“You gave me exactly what I asked for and I loved every second of you doing it.” Your thumb started to stroke his cheek and you forced yourself to hold his gaze despite feeling a little embarrassed by the admission.

“Really? You’re fine that I spanked you and left you sore?”

“Yeah? I mean - it’s complicated,” you told him before falling silent for a few seconds, trying to find a way to explain it. “I trust you, Billy. Last night I felt like I didn’t have to think or worry, like I could just enjoy the way you make me feel, because I know you’d never really hurt me? And, when you - when you did that, it made me feel unbreakable, like I was the strongest person in the world?”

You weren’t sure how much sense any of that made, but Billy seemed pleased with the answer and the anxiety that he’d held only moments before quickly washed away. He took a breath before leaning to press a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m glad that you trust me that way,” he smiled, his eyes seeming to fill with that familiar wanting again, “guess you’re gonna have to tell me what else you’re into, sweetheart...”

Your cheeks started to warm instantly. It shouldn't have shocked you that that’s where Billy’s mind immediately went after your confession but, even after the couple of months that you’d been with him, you still got whiplash watching him go from zero to flirty and dirty in the space of a couple of seconds.

“I - I don’t know, I’ve never had the chance to find out...” You confessed.

“Good,” he moved suddenly, causing you to take a step back as his hands found the tiles on either side of you, boxing you in, “I want as many first and lasts with you as I can get.”

“Billy -” you managed in barely a whisper, not even sure what you’d say if you could find the words.

“I hate thinking about anyone else touching you, being inside you,” there was an anger in his voice, you knew it wasn’t directed at you but it still made your heart race.

The last thing you wanted was to think about the past - or have Billy thinking about your past. All you wanted was this; the here and now that you were slowly starting to build with Billy. And you hated seeing him like this, struggling with jealousy over things that didn’t matter anymore, so you decided to snap him out of it.

“Well,” you started softly, shyly, your cheeks burning and your breathing turning shallow, “that first morning in my bed, you were on top of me, holding me down with your hand here...” You took hold of his hand and placed it on your collarbone, your teeth scraping over your bottom lip as you held his gaze.

“And?” He quietly prompted, sounding as breathless as you felt.

“I - I thought about how I wanted it here,” you moved his hand again, this time to your throat. Your own hand covered his, pressing against his fingers, making his squeeze lightly, and you felt him twitch against you.

The space between you disappeared in an instant and you found yourself lifted and pressed back against the tiles, your legs wrapping around him while your hands gripped his shoulder. He drove his cock into you with hesitation while the hand on your throat gave a gentle squeeze, nowhere near enough to choke but enough to let you know it was there, and that was really all you wanted from him. Billy seemed to understand without asking what you needed and how far you really wanted him to go.

“Is this what you want, sweetheart?” He groaned, pressing you back against the cold tiles every time his hips drove forwards. You didn’t answer him, all you could do was let out a long moan. “Yeah, you like this. You like me taking control, don’t you?”

Your cheeks continued to burn, but you both knew it was true; you liked this, you liked being able to be with Billy like this, with no inhibitions, no doubts in your head, just trust and love for the man who was making you feel more wanted and cared for than anyone else ever had.

“You were so timid the first time I made you come, but look at you now,” he grinned at you like he was in awe of you, like you were the most perfect creature he’d ever laid eyes on. “I really have ruined this sweet little pussy, haven’t I sweetheart?”

“Yes, Billy. It’s yours now. I’m yours,” you gasped and moaned, now knowing the power those words held over him.

“Yeah, you are. All mine, sweetheart,” he groaned in response, the shift of his hips already turning frantic and desperate, hitting deep inside you with every thrust. “And I’ll give you anything you want for as long as you want me.”

There was something vulnerable in his words, something he’d never dared give away before. And it made you angry - you were angry that anyone had ever made him feel unwanted, unloved or unworthy. Your fingers tugged his hair, needing him to look at you as he continued to lay claim to your body.

“I’ll always want you, Billy,” you panted, fingers pulling tighter in his hair, keeping his eyes on yours so he could see that you meant it. “Always.”

Billy let out an awkward, almost pained gasp, and came suddenly, taking you both by surprise. It was the first time you’d managed to make him come first and Billy seemed more than a little shocked by it. He stilled inside you, his cock continuing to pulse as he emptied himself, while Billy seemed to just freeze.

The uncertainty on his face was impossible to miss - he looked afraid, like he was scared you were going to take it all back, and your heart broke for him again. Your hand found his cheek, while his finally dropped from your throat, and you gave a gentle shake of your head before leaning in to kiss him softly.

“Mine,” you muttered against his lips, claiming him just as he’d claimed you. “You’re mine.”

“Move in with me,” he asked, his voice sounding almost broken, like he didn’t know what to do with any of the emotions that he was feeling.

“What -”

“I want you to move in with me.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? What does oh mean?” He asked with a nervous sort of laugh.

You took a breath and let your head fall back against the tiles before letting out a huff of laughter of your own. “Nothing, it’s just -” your head shook a little at how ridiculous you felt, “- it’s kinda hard for me to have a serious conversation while you’re still -” you glanced down to where your bodies were still joined.

And, that managed to draw the most joyful laugh from Billy. He pressed his lips to yours, kissing you softly before lowering you back to the ground. You stayed silent, taking a few moments to catch your breath, stepping back under the spray of the shower to clean yourself off.

“I’m being serious,” he decided to break the silence, sounding a lot more certain, “I want you to move in. I wanna spend every morning with you like this, and I wanna fall asleep with you in my arms every single night.”

“We do all that most days anyway,” you countered, stepping out of the shower and wrapping yourself in a big, fluffy towel before holding one out to Billy, waiting for him to get out too.

“Yeah, but think about it,” he continued, wrapping the towel around his waist, “if you were here, you’d be closer to work and you’d be able to have a bath whenever you want. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

That brought a smile to your lips, the fact that he remembered some throw-away comment you’d made weeks ago about missing being able to soak in a bath at the end of a long day.

“Okay,” you started to relent and you saw the way his whole face lit up, “I’ll think about it. Our lease runs out at the end of next month anyway, and now Tammy is earning so much working for Anvil, she probably doesn’t even want me as a roommate anymore.”

“See?” He grinned, wrapping his arms around you, kissing the side of your head, “this is the perfect solution. Anyway, you’re practically moved in already.”

“Practically moved in already?” You repeated, quickly finding yourself laughing again. “Billy, you let me have one drawer of stuff here. I’m gonna need a lot more space if you really want me to move in.”

“You can have the spare room. Or I’ll buy a bigger penthouse, just for you and all your stuff.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” you warned despite your laughter.

Once you’d dried yourself off, you headed back to the bedroom to find some clean clothes while Billy finished the rest of his morning routine in the bathroom. While you were waiting for him to emerge, you decided to get a start on breakfast, all the while trying to imagine what it’d be like to be able to sit and eat pancakes with him every morning.

By the time Billy was ready to sit at the table, you had a plate full of pancakes ready to share with him, and a fresh pot of coffee. He let out a slight huff as he sat and quickly started to tuck in.

“What’s up?” You asked, grabbing yourself a pancake from the stack and covering it with an obscene amount of syrup, hoping it would settle your stomach after last night's drinking.

“Frank’s being a real pain in the ass. He wants me to go into the office.”

“He wants you to go in on New Year's Day?”

“Yeah, he wants to show me something, I dunno...”

“Well, don’t feel like you have to say no to him because of me,” you shrug, reaching for your coffee, “I don’t mind waiting here for you to get back if it’s not gonna take long?”

“Really?” You nodded. “Alright, fine, but when I get back we’re spending the rest of the day on the couch, watching TV and eating junk food.”

“Deal.”

While you ate, Billy continued to drop little hints about you moving in, trying to think of all the ways he might tempt you to finally put him out of his misery and say yes. And, by the time he was done, you were all but certain that your answer was going to be yes - you just didn’t want to rush into the decision and tell him straight away.

He kissed you before he left to meet Frank and, after cleaning up the mess you’d made in his kitchen, you found yourself heading back to bed, deciding you needed at least another hours worth of sleep before he got back.

Chapter Eighteen

END NOTES : -alexa, play some ominous music-

Okay, so I know I just pretty much dedicated 12k+ to a 24 hour period but I promise the plot side of things will start moving again next chapter.

As ever, thanks to everyone still reading this and all the new people who seem to have found this story over the last couple of weeks, I'm so overwhelmed by the likes and comments and everything each week, you're all amazing and I really hope you're enjoying this!

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 2 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twenty

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : PG13

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] There's some potentially triggering stuff in one including; mentions of sibling death by drowning, death of a child, relationship with an inappropriate age gap, gaslighting/abusive relationship, attempted murder, car crash/DUI, and the drug trade. I don't go into a lot of detail with any of them but please avoid if you find these things triggering. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.9k

A/N : Please check the warnings on this one, it covers a lot of readers past and some of Billy's!

Chapter Twenty

There was a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach the moment you opened your eyes and remembered the events of the previous evening and the fact that you’d agreed to meet Billy at midday. Not even the news that several of your photographs had sold last night was enough to make you feel any better. All you could think about was Billy on the fire escape as you’d walked away from him.

The morning was spent flitting about the apartment, unable to sit still, which eventually led you to decide to go to the coffee shop early and try and gather your nerves for what would be your last goodbye to Billy.

You arrived ten minutes early, but found that Billy had had the same idea; he was sitting there, at the same table where you’d shared your first coffee together. A weak smile tugged at his lips when he noticed you and, as you approached, you felt your heart sink. He looked awful and you could tell that he hadn’t slept a wink last night. He looked sickly pale which only accentuated the dark circles below his bloodshot eyes. Just the sight of him made you want to hold him and look after him.

“I already ordered, I hope you don’t mind,” he said as you sat opposite him.

There were two mugs on the table, hot chocolates with whipped cream, just like you’d made him as those weeks ago. He’d even gotten one of your favourite muffins.

“Thank you,” you uttered softly, eyes fixed on your drink, not really sure how to say any of the things that you needed to say to him. Luckily Billy knew where he wanted to start things.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he sighed.

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that,” because fucking him on the fire escape was the least of your worries, and thinking about it made you feel too many things that you couldn’t deal with. “Are you okay? I mean, after last night, you were -”

“I’m fine,” the words left his lips automatically, just like the last time you’d tried to ask him about it.

“You’re not fine, Billy.” You knew he didn’t want to talk about it and, normally, you wouldn’t want to push him to, but if things were really over between you now, it didn’t really matter if he got annoyed about it. Besides, your shit had been laid bare for him and you didn’t like him hiding behind that empty lie. “The first time, you said it was because you thought I’d left you, and last night -”

“It doesn’t matter,” he interrupted with a sharp but jagged edge to his tone.

“You can’t tear yourself apart over me like that. It’s not worth it,” you tried to tell him, wanting to at least make some part of this more bearable for him. “I’m not worth it.”

“Yes you are. Don’t ever say that to me.” He answered without hesitation, despite everything he’d learned about you from the PI’s file. If the circumstance between you had been a little different, it would have made you love him even more but, unfortunately for both of you, Billy still didn’t know the whole story.

The only way you could change his mind and, hopefully, give him some peace was to tell him the whole story. You took a slow breath and steeled yourself for what you had to do.

“The file doesn’t tell the whole story,” you admitted quietly. Billy didn’t say anything, he just waited for you to continue. “I started dating Scott a couple of months after I turned sixteen, but I’d known him most of my life. His dad was Sheriff and his brothers were both cops, so everyone knew their family one way or another.”

You paused to take a breath, knowing that the story only got worse from there and, as much as you wanted to be honest with Billy, you didn’t want to recount things in any great detail for both of your sakes.

“He was older. Twenty-two. I thought he was amazing and I thought I was so mature because an older guy wanted to date me.” You let out a bitter huff of laughter at the ridiculous thought, while Billy’s knuckles started to turn white as he gripped his mug tighter and tighter. “We kept it secret; I knew my parents wouldn’t approve and he didn’t want to embarrass his dad. I thought I was ready for a grown up relationship, but I wasn’t...”

“You were just a child,” his voice was low, barely audible. It was clear that he didn’t want to interrupt but he felt like he had to say something. You just shrugged before continuing.

“I was a lonely kid; Sam joined the Army as soon as he turned eighteen, and my parents were always so busy that I spent most of my time looking after Lilly. She was half my age, so it wasn’t like we had much in common but...” a shaky hand listed your mug to your lips and you took a drink, trying to avoid the next part of the story.

“The file said she drowned?” Billy prompted gently, trying to help you along.

“I was supposed to be watching her, she wasn’t supposed to swim by the dock unless someone was with her, but Scott turned up. He’d been drinking and he wanted to see me, and I -” you stopped again, gaze dropping as you tried to blink back tears, “- I told him I was watching Lilly, and he started arguing with me; he told me I didn’t love him enough and maybe I was just a kid after all.”

You took another drink and broke off a piece of muffin - everything you could do to avoid looking at Billy and letting him see the shame written all over your face. It took around thirty seconds before you could force yourself to continue.

“I didn’t want to lose him, so I went with him. I told him I couldn’t be gone for more than a couple of minutes, but every time I tried to go back to Lilly, he’d start up again. And when he finally let me go an hour later, it was too late. She - she must’ve gotten bored waiting for me...”

Billy glared at you and you could see everything you’d feared written all over his face. Now he knew the truth, he knew just how worthless you were, how selfish and wretched you were. You’d never wanted to see him look at you that way, with such disgust and anger on his face, and it hurt even worse than you’d ever imagined it would.

“Told you I’m not worth it,” you shrugged weakly.

“What?” Seeming to snap out of whatever dark thought he’d been stuck in, he looked at you for a moment, expression shifting from anger to confusion in an instant. “Sweetheart, you made a mistake, but you weren’t the adult in the situation. The only one that’s not worth anything in this situation is that fucker. He shouldn’t’ve ever gone near you. He used your age against you to get what he wanted and ‘cause of that, you made a tragic mistake. No one should blame you for that.”

“Everyone did blame me.” You looked back down at your mug again.

“How could they when -”

“No one knew he was there,” you confessed, “he called his brother and - I dunno, everything just happened. They told me I’d get in trouble if I told anyone Scott was there.” Billy let out an irritated huff and you could tell he was getting angry, but not at you like you’d expected. “My parents were devastated, they couldn’t believe I’d be so reckless and I - I didn’t know what to tell them.”

“But that wasn’t the end of things with Scott, was it?” Billy tried to nudge you back towards the story, not letting you linger on something that was clearly causing you pain.

“No, we stayed together. He made me think he was the only person who could accept me after what I did. He told me everyone else thought I killed her. And, I believed him. I let him convince me that he was the only person who could accept me.” A hint of anger slipped into your voice, even now, years later, you were still so angry that you’d let him manipulate you. You knew Billy wanted to say something but he bit his tongue and let you carry on. “We moved in together when I turned eighteen and made things official. I was going to go to college but he -” you trailed into another sigh.

“Fuck,” Billy muttered under his breath before taking a drink.

“I was with him for years, eventually I felt stuck, like I had nowhere to go. He made it so he seemed like the only stable thing in my life by starting shit with my parents, so I couldn’t go to them for help. He made me feel like no one trusted me...” you stopped again, taking another drink and eating a little bit more of the muffin.

“You don’t have to keep going,” Billy told you suddenly, like he’d made up his mind.

“How can you say that?” You looked at him, confused.

“Because I can see how much this is hurting you and -” he shook his head, not wanting to finish the thought. But you could see something else in his expression; worry. Something about you telling him all of this was worrying him.

For a moment you considered his offer; he was giving you a way out, a way to save yourself from the pain. But, after everything, didn’t he deserve to know the real you?

“When he proposed, I knew I had to get away from him,” you decided to continue, “by then, my parents had both passed, and Sam was the only family I had left. I just - I knew I couldn’t marry him or have his kids. I tried to get Sam’s, but Scott caught up with me. And I - I knew that he’d been drinking, and I knew how stupid I was to get in the car, but -”

“The accident,” Billy tried to fill in the gaps, “the one that left you scarred?”

“It wasn’t an accident. He told me that, if he couldn’t have me, no one could,” you shook your head, trying not to think about it too much. “He was arrested and got five years.”

“Five years for attempted murder?”

“No, just for the DUI. I didn’t report it. I just wanted to get as far away as I could.” You took another drink and finished the last of the muffin, even though your stomach felt upside down. “I told Sam everything and he gave me some money to leave Florida and start a new life. And, eventually, I ended up in New York.”

You gave a little shrug, gaze dropping and feeling far too vulnerable to look at Billy now that the story was done. He reached across the table without warning and you tense a little as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. But his act of comfort was short lived, only lasting a few seconds before he pulled away again. And, when you finally looked at him again, you found only resignation on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he offered again, “I understand why trust is so important to you now, and I hate that I couldn’t give you that.”

“I wish things could’ve worked out differently,” you told him softly, sadly.

“I take it there’s no point trying to convince you that I can do better, is there? You’ve made up your mind that this is the end.” His voice was a quagmire of emotions; hurt, anger, sadness. All things that made your heart ache. Now his worry made sense. He knew that once this was done, everything would be over between you.

You shook your head, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, knowing that you didn’t have the strength left to actually say the words. Instead you went with; “I’m leaving New York for a while.”

“What?” The pain he’d been barely suppressing finally filled his voice.

“I’m going to stay with Sam in Connecticut for a while. I don’t have the money to stay in New York anymore.”

“I could -”

“Billy, no...” you stopped him before he could make the offer and he quickly fell silent for a few seconds.

“I’ve still got your stuff at the penthouse. I could drop it off for you?”

“No, I’ll come get it,” you answered quickly, though you weren’t sure why. You wanted to see it one last time, you supposed, you wanted a proper goodbye. “I can come by tomorrow evening?”

“Yeah, okay.”

And, just like that, everything was over. Your mug and plate were both empty, and you’d told him everything you’d come to say. You sat for a few moments before managing to say goodbye to him. He gave you back the file and walked out of the coffee shop with you, looking nothing short of defeated, watching you as you walked away from him. Somehow, you kept your head up high and didn’t turn back, silently telling yourself that you were strong enough to walk away from him, despite the pain.

The next twenty-four hours passed in something of a daze; you were still working so that took up a good chunk of your day but, no matter what you were doing, you couldn’t stop thinking about Billy, about how that night would be the last time you ever saw him. Even though you knew it was for the best, the part of you that loved him - the part that would always love him - refused to stay silent on the matter, trying to convince you that you should stay, that you shouldn’t give up on your only chance of happiness.

When the evening rolled around and you found yourself outside his building, it took fifteen minutes to work up the nerve to walk inside. Marvin the doorman gave you a fond smile and as you passed and made your way to the elevator, your fingers gripping the key to the penthouse floor - another thing you were going to have to give up.

The whole elevator ride up, you held your breath, counting the seconds until the doors opened.

A pang of disappointment filled you when you stepped into the penthouse and Billy wasn’t waiting for you, ready to pull you into his arms and press you back against the wall. Instead nothing but silence greeted you.

It felt strange setting foot in the penthouse knowing it was the last time you’d ever be there. As you stepped off the elevators, you couldn’t help but look around, noticing all the little changes that had happened since Billy first brought you home the night of the gala. You could remember how cold and empty it had seemed, but now there were little reminders everywhere of changes Billy had made to make sure that you would be comfortable there; a couple of fleece blankets draped over the back of the sofa for when you got cold and cushions so you could sprawl out whenever you were watching movies together, lamps dotted around in all the places where you liked to sit and read, he’d even gone as far as getting a Cookie Monster cookie jar for the kitchen that he kept full of your favourite cookies.

You’d barely noticed it at the time, but Billy had gone out of his way to make space for you in his home, and now it made your heart ache thinking about how he’d probably give up on all the colour and warmth he’d let into his life because you were gone.

“Hey,” his voice startled you, pulling you out of your thoughts as he emerged from the bedroom.

“Hi,” you offered quietly, suddenly feeling like a stranger in his home.

Billy approached you but stopped a few feet away, keeping his distance. You could tell that he still hadn’t slept and, honestly, he looked awful. Even his clothes gave him away; wrinkled pants, tie pulled loose, and the top couple of buttons of his shirt hanging open.

Neither of you spoke for almost a minute, until Billy finally let out a soft sigh.

“Everything’s where you left it,” and he gave a wave, indicating that you should go and gather your things.

There were so many things that you wanted to say but you knew that there was nothing that would fix this, nothing that would make either of you feel any better. So, you decided to treat the situation like ripping off a band-aid, and get it over and done with as quickly as possible.

Billy retreated into the kitchen as you moved to the bedroom and started gathering your things. There was more than you expected, more than you remembered but, soon enough, you’d formed two piles; things they you’d brought with you, and things that Billy had bought for you.

After ten minutes, you noticed him in the doorway, watching you.

“It wouldn’t be right of me to keep these,” you told him and his eyes followed you to the second pile, the gifts he’d given you. There was the camera equipment, several books, a pair of winter boots, a coat, and a teddy bear he’d bought you because you’d joked that it looked like him.

“I want you to keep them,” he told you with a dismissive shake of his head, like they didn’t matter, like he hadn’t spent thousands of dollars on you.

“Billy, I -”

“They’re yours. Anything you leave, I’m gonna burn,” he snapped suddenly, his voice breaking, betraying him. He waited a beat before turning and walking out of the room, leaving you at a complete loss.

Reluctantly, you packed everything up, knowing that you couldn’t let Billy burn any of it, thinking maybe you could sell them and send him the money.

Once you were done, you took a breath and looked around the bedroom one last time, remembering all the fun times you’d had there and how much you were going to miss waking up beside him every morning. Then, you picked up your case and left the room.

Billy was in the kitchen again, sipping a coffee, he didn’t even look at you as you started to move towards the elevator.

“Frank almost died because of me,” his words broke the silence but you didn’t understand their purpose. They weren’t a plea for you to stay, and they didn’t sound like some confession of feelings. In fact, they seemed completely unrelated to anything that was happening.

As much as you didn’t want to be dragged into a conversation, you couldn’t let the comment go unanswered, you couldn’t ignore his broken tone.

“What?” Stopping and putting the case down, turning to face him.

“You asked why I don’t trust people, and that’s why. I almost got the man who’s the closest thing to family I have, killed.” There was anger in his words, something dark and painful that seemed to run deep.

“What are you trying to tell me?” You dared to ask, though you were scared of how he might answer.

“When we were Marines, we got selected for a special, off-the-books until, and the shit we did -” he shook his head and you knew better than to ask him to fill in the blanks, “- when I’d had enough, I requested a transfer back to Force, but Frankie - he stayed.” His gaze dropped to his mug. “There was this CIA Agent - Rawlins - he offered me a deal; an early honourable discharge and a shit-ton of money if I help the CIA run drugs from Afghanistan.”

He fell silent, letting you take in what he’d told you and, in that silence you found yourself edging close to him, trying to wrap your head around it all.

“Someone tried to leak it to Homeland - they thought it was Frankie, so they put out a kill order on him and his family.” There was a noticeable tremor in his voice and your stomach started to tie itself in knots. “I couldn’t let them hurt him. I took a bullet for him, then I told Homeland everything in exchange for immunity.”

He didn’t need to look at you for you to see just how ashamed he was of himself.

“I did all that, because I wanted a life like this. I wanted to have more than I grew up with. I didn’t want to be that poor kid no one wanted anymore.” He let out a heavy sigh. “That’s why I don’t trust anyone, because I can’t even trust myself not to make stupid fucking choices. And that’s why it was easy for me to believe that you’d use me and hurt me, because I’d probably do the same thing in your position. And, I think some of it was just because I was scared...”

“Scared of what?”

“That I’d hurt you and let you down, like I let Frank down. It was easier to see you as the bad guy because, if I hurt you -”

“You did hurt me though,” you interrupted, not interested in where his pity spiral was taking him. It wouldn’t change anything.

“You’re right and I’m so fucking sorry,” he finally looked at you again, “this isn’t an excuse - there are no excuses for what I did. I fucked things up and you got hurt, and I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Billy,” you hesitated, considering and reconsidering what you wanted to say. As much as he’d hurt you and as much as he’d fucked things up, you didn’t want him to go on hating himself. “You didn’t do anything to Frank except save his life. You weren’t the one that pulled the trigger or made the decision to try to kill him. You protected your friend and you shouldn’t use any of that as a reason not to trust -”

“I should have protected you. I should’ve been there, I should have dealt with the PI and your prick ex-boyfriend. I should’ve protected you instead of thinking you’d betray me.”

“You can’t protect me from that.”

“Yes I can. And I will. No one is going to ruin your new life in Connecticut.”

“Billy -” you sighed but didn’t bother to finish, you knew you’d never change his mind and that the longer you drew this out, the worse it was going to get. But there was one last thing you needed to know before this was finally over. Still, you hesitated for a second, not sure how to ask. “The PI - he told me to ask you where your mother is...”

What little colour there was in his face seemed to drain completely, and the way he leaned on the counter was enough to tell you that you’d caught him completely off-guard.

“She’s taken care of.” An awful mixture of pain, anger and sorrow in his voice caused your stomach to knot.

“You know where she is?” You realised that you’d never even bothered to ask him.

He let out a heavy sigh and you almost wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter, but you kept thinking about how adamant the PI was, like he believed knowing would change things completely between you and Billy.

“She’s in a nursing home - has been for the last five years.”

“I thought -” but you quickly realised that you hadn’t thought, you’d assumed, “- I didn’t think you knew where she was.”

“I tracked her down but, after years of using, she’s not exactly all there anymore.” His voice turned cold and detached, like he was trying to mask the pain.

“I don’t understand; why would the PI tell me to ask?”

“Probably because he knows I could afford to have her in the nicest clinic in the state but, instead I’ve put her in some shitty home where she gets the bare minimum.” He shrugged. “Maybe he figured out that I’m keeping her in a shitty nursing home as revenge for how I grew up.”

“Yes, well, maybe that’s what she deserves,” you muttered before you could even think to stop yourself.

It was a cruel thing to say about a woman who’d obviously had her struggles in life, but having seen the damage she’d caused Billy, you didn’t care. If anything, you were shocked that he was willing to look after her at all.

Another silence fell and it felt like it was time to go; you’d both bared your souls and cleared the air as best you could, now it was time to leave. Billy seemed to realise that too as his gaze quickly dropped back to his coffee, not wanting to watch you finally walk out of his life.

You took a breath, gave him one last look, and started towards the elevator with your case. Pushing the call button made it all seem real and your mind raced as you thought over everything that had been said and done and, as you did, a sickening feeling started to fill your stomach.

Not once had he tried to excuse his behaviour or blame you. All he’d ever done was try to explain it, but he’d always taken full responsibility. He’d never tried to shift accountability or gaslight you into taking any of the blame, even though you knew now that there were other ways you could have dealt with things. All Billy had done was show remorse, he hadn’t tried to change your mind or tell you how you felt was wrong, he’d simply accepted the way you had reacted as part of who you were.

And that thought led you to realise something; he’d accepted who you were and the things you struggled with.

But had you ever done the same for him?

He’d never asked about your past because you’d told him not to, but why hadn’t you bothered to ask about his?

All this time, you’d been so focused on yourself and your problems that you’d never really stopped to consider Billy’s issues, and that wasn’t fair. He’d hurt you, yes, but you were starting to realise that you’d hurt him too - that you were hurting him right now.

“I think -” you stopped, though it took a moment before you could bring yourself to look back, “- I think we both fucked up.”

Billy stared at you, confused, head shaking. “No - no, sweetheart, you didn’t fuck up anything.”

Even now, at the end of things, he was still trying to protect you, still trying to keep you from hurting. But it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair to leave him thinking that he was the only one to blame in all of this. You weren’t going to let him shoulder that burden anymore.

“I should’ve asked; about how you got hurt, about your mom, and about the panic attacks...” Without thinking, you put your case down again and took a step away from the elevator. “The truth is, I think it was easier for me to pretend that everything in your life was perfect and simple, but that wasn’t fair on you, Billy.”

“That’s not -” he started but fell silent the moment you held up your hand.

“I acted like I was the only one with baggage and I let you help me feel better, but I never tried to help you.”

“You did, you -” his voice caught and you could tell he was struggling, and that the normally confident man didn’t want a spotlight on his perceived flaws.

You shook your head. “Krista was wrong about you, Billy. You’re not broken, you don’t need to be fixed. You just need someone to see you the way you saw me, and I should have tried harder to be that person for you.”

“No, you -” he shook his head, stepping out of the kitchen and towards you, “- you never needed to -”

He couldn’t find the words and, honestly neither could you. Just the look on his face was enough; that awkward pain that you knew so well because it was the same pain you’d been living with for years. It was selfish of you not to notice it before now, to pretend it wasn’t there and wallow in your own problems.

Billy stopped in front of you, still obviously struggling to find the words, so you found them for him.

“Ask me to stay,” you whispered.

“I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“I think that maybe what love is, Billy, it’s fucking things up and hurting each other, and coming back stronger from it. You hurt me but you didn’t break me.” You dared to take a little step closer to him. “I spent so long believing that no one could love me after everything that happened to me, after everything I did. I was so scared of how you’d react, but even when you did find out, you kept fighting for me.”

“Of course I did, because I -” he tried to find the words, but you didn’t blame him when they didn’t come; you knew now that love was a terrifying thing for Billy, but three little words would never say more than the look in his eyes. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I - I don’t want to leave.” you confessed.

A sound of absolute relief slipped from his lips but before you could think to question it, Billy had cleared the distance between you and was pulling you against him, kissing you softly. Your arms wrapped around him and held him tight, never wanting to let him go again.

Chapter Twenty-One

END NOTES : So, finally, there it is; readers past. This is something else I've been a little bit nervous about, so I hope you like! And I hope you like what I've changed for Billy's past too because this has always been sort of my exploration into how Billy might have been if he'd saved Frank and his family, instead of helping Rawlings.

Anyway! As always thank you so much for reading! Don't worry, there's still more to come!

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 3 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Eighteen

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] There's some dark stuff pertaining to an abusive past relationship, attempted murder, and vague details of a car crash. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.4k

A/N : Set about a week after the last one! I'm honestly a little nervous about this chapter, I hope you like it! As always thanks so much for reading!

Chapter Eighteen

The whole world came crashing down around you in a single moment.

You didn’t realise until it was too late to stop it, until it was too late to change anything and avoid the inevitable consequences.

The private investigator took the envelope full of cash before sliding the file across the table to you, sparing you one last glance and a couple of words of warning before climbing out of the booth and heading towards the exit. Your gaze followed him out of the diner and onto the street, where he walked past -

Your heart stopped.

Frank.

He had his phone out, pointing right at you through the diner window, a mix of betrayal and disappointment on his face. It took a moment to figure out what was happening, for the penny to finally drop, but when it did, you felt your entire body fill with panic; he thought you were the security threat, the person who’d been digging into anvil over the last couple of months.

Your heart started to race, knowing that he was going to tell Billy what he thought he’d seen, that he’d seen you paying off the PI who’d been snooping around Anvil. You scrambled out of the booth, almost tripping over your own feet, desperate to get to Frank and fix the situation before it spiralled out of control.

But he was already on the phone by the time you got outside. You kept the file clutched to your chest, holding it against you like a shield as you approached the imposing figure of Frank Castle, stomach knotting as you heard him speak.

“Yeah, Bill, I’ll deal with it,” his eyes fixed on you as you stopped in front of him.

You waited in silence, for a moment thinking you could just about hear Billy’s voice on the other end of the phone before Frank hung up and dropped his phone into his pocket.

“I’m gonna need you to give me that,” Frank said, holding out his hand, expecting you to hand the file over.

“I can’t.” Because, despite everything that was happening, you knew one thing for sure; you couldn’t let anyone see the file, couldn’t let them know about your past.

“Y’know, the crazy thing is that I thought Bill was gonna be the one to break your heart, not the other way around,” Frank shook his head.

“You don’t understand -”

“Pretty sure I do,” he interrupted, not willing to listen to your explanations, “you’ve had your PI lookin’ into Anvil and Bill for weeks now, so give it up.”

“No, that’s not -” but you could already tell that he wasn’t going to listen to you, that he’d made up his mind. “I need to see Billy, I have to explain this to him.”

“That’s great ‘cause he’s already waiting at Anvil for you.”

You stared at him for a moment before realising that you had a choice to make - he couldn’t very well bundle you into his car in broad daylight, but you were aware how bad it would look for you if you refused to go with him. You’d just given up every single dollar to your name for the file in your hand and, now, you needed to make sure that it hadn’t all been for nothing.

“Okay,” you relented, “take me to Billy.”

Frank gave a grunt and nodded towards his truck. You followed after him, climbing into the passenger seat and keeping your eyes fixed forward. Once he’d started the engine, you reached for your phone, hastily typing up a message to Karen, wanting to try and explain what was going on before Frank told her.

“Who you texting?” Frank asked suddenly, taking his eyes off the road.

“Karen, I -” he snatched your phone before you could finish, your thumb managing to hit send on the half finished message as he pulled it away from you. “What the fuck?”

“You’re not draggin’ Karen into this shit,” he told you, his eyes returning to the road just in time to keep from running a red light - a sharp stop that caused your anxiety to spike even more, reminding you of the accident years ago. You were so distracted that you only caught the last half of what Frank was saying, “- when Bill’s done with you.”

You didn’t argue, didn’t ask him to repeat himself. You just wanted him to concentrate on the road. So, you remained silent, clutching the file to your chest and watching out the windscreen. The way he drove across the city made your heart race and your chest tighten, practically jumping out of your skin with every screech of brakes or honk of a horn.

And, when you reached Anvil some fifteen minutes later, you were quick to scramble out of the truck, almost gasping for breath.

He gave another grunt, indicating that you should follow him and, stupidly, you did just that. You didn’t realise that anything was wrong until you were in the elevator and realised that you were being taken down to the basement level instead of up to Billy’s office.

“Why aren’t we going to Billy’s office?” You asked, dread already starting to coil in your stomach.

“Bill doesn’t want you in his office,” Frank answered as the doors slid open, revealing a cold and terrifying looking corridor.

“I want my phone back.” You told him, unable to stop the fear from filling your tone.

“Told you, you can have it back when Bill’s done with you,” he motioned for you to start moving and, with no other option, you did.

When the elevator doors slid shut, your thoughts started to spiral to dark places you didn’t want them to go, to memories of feeling trapped and powerless. A lump rose in your throat and tears were already starting to sting your eyes as your footsteps echoed down the long hallway. When Frank stopped and opened a door, you let him usher you inside before you realised your mistake.

The door closed behind you, leaving you trapped and alone in what appeared to be an interrogation room. Had your state of mind been better, you might have realised that the room was used for training new recruits and conducting interviews but, since you were panicking, all you could think was that you were going to be trapped there until you confessed to all of the things you hadn’t done.

You turned back to the door quickly, pulling at the handle. You weren’t surprised to find it locked, but it did nothing to stop the panic that was raging inside of you.

The room had a long metal table and two chairs, one on either side, but you didn’t move to sit. You couldn’t move at all, terror had you rooted in place, your fingers still tightly gripping the file against your chest. There was a camera blinking in the corner of the room and you felt your stomach drop; was Billy watching you right now, could he see the terror on your face? (And, if he could, why wasn’t he coming to help you?)

Minutes passed before Billy stepped into the room. You stayed frozen as he stepped around you and you waited - you waited for him to tell you that this was all some big mistake, that he knew you’d never do the things Frank had accused you of. But it never came. As he took a seat, your eyes closed tight, silently willing yourself to wake up from this nightmare.

Another minute passed in total silence, like he was waiting for you to speak first and dig your own grave, but you couldn’t even look at him, much less form the words you needed to explain all of this to him.

“Just give me the file,” he finally said.

“I can’t,” you shook your head, eyes still closed tight.

“Who are you working for?” There was something cold in his voice, something broken and full of pain and, despite everything he was putting you thought, some part of you longed to comfort him.

“No one, I’m not -”

“Don’t lie to me!” The sound of his open palm hitting the surface of the table caused you to flinch, your eyes opening as you took a step back and pressed yourself against the wall, needing to put as much distance between you and Billy as possible. “You paid someone to look into Anvil, into me.”

“No, that’s not what happened! You don’t understand -”

“What were you after; finances? Mission details? How much were you getting paid?” His tone got sharper with every word.

“I wasn’t after anything, that’s not what this is. It’s not about Anvil -” you tried desperately still, somehow, holding onto some small glimmer of hope that you could fix things before they got too broken.

“Bullshit!”

“Please, Billy,” you struggled to find the words in your panic, “you promised that you’d trust me, that you’d -”

“I did trust you!”

His use of the past tense caused something to break inside of you, and you felt a sort of pain that you hadn’t felt in years, the sort of pain that could only be inflicted by someone you loved.

“Stop, please, Billy just -” you tried again, blinking back tears.

Everything was falling apart around you, the future you’d let yourself hope for was slipping away; you were going to move in with him, you were going to go work for The Bulletin, and you were finally going to start rebuilding your life after so many years of just existing and scraping a living. All your dreams were dying all at once, all because he wouldn’t listen to you, because he couldn’t trust you.

Some part of you knew that if you could just find the words, you’d be able to make him understand, but your panicked, racing mind couldn’t focus enough to say or do anything to help fix things.

“How long?” He asked coldly, ignoring your tears. “How long have you been lying to me, using me?”

“I wasn’t lying! Why won’t you listen to me? Why can’t you trust me?” You heard yourself begging desperately.

“Because you’ve been lying to me for months!” His voice got louder, sharper, and you no longer recognised the man in front of you. This wasn’t your Billy, this was someone else entirely. “You know, you really had me fooled, pretending to be this wounded little thing, acting like you wanted me, like we had something.”

“It wasn’t an act!” You managed to raise your voice to match him, desperate to make him listen, to convince him that you still cared, but Billy didn’t even seem to hear it. “Please, just - just let me explain. I can explain this.”

“Explain what? That none of this was real? That you tricked me into wanting you so you could get close enough to stab me in the back? Did you get paid extra to fuck me or was jumping into my bed just part of the game for you?” You could still hear the pain in his tone, but the moment Billy said those words to you, something inside of you snapped.

Your stomach continued to tie itself in knots. You hated every little thing about this, hated how he thought you were as bad as all of the other people who had used him and lied to him to get what they wanted. But your pain quickly started to turn to anger - he wasn’t the only one who’d ever been hurt, he wasn’t the only one who’d been lied to and used. As hurt as Billy obviously was by this whole situation, he’d broken his promises to you; he wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t hear you out, wouldn’t trust you.

You were being blamed for something you hadn’t done and you were going to lose everything because of it. Again.

“You think I jumped into bed with you?” Your tone turned sharper, colder, and more certain - because, in all of this, if you were certain of one thing, it was that you did not just jump into bed with him. Finally you had his attention, just in time for you to tell him; “falling in love with you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Billy. And you’ve just managed to prove why it was such a stupid idea.”

It was the first time you’d dared utter that you loved him aloud, but you were no longer scared of how he was going to react to the revelation or how vulnerable it would make you feel. It was too late to care about any of that. You’d come to Anvil hoping to save things with Billy but that dream was now over.

And, for the first time since all of this began, you realised that the truth of your past couldn’t hurt you anymore. It didn’t matter if Billy knew because he’d already given up on you, whatever was between you was over now, and everything you’d done to try and preserve it had been for nothing.

“Fine,” you relented, forcing yourself to step away from the wall and towards the table. Once you were close enough you slammed the file down in front of him so hard that its contents spilled out across the table; photographs of you, notes about your work, your friends and your finances.

Billy’s eyes dropped, quickly looking over it, starting to move things, rummaging through the paperwork, trying to make sense of it.

“It was never about you or Anvil. He was looking for me. And I just spent every penny I had paying him off so I wouldn’t have to leave New York, so I wouldn’t have to leave you. But I guess the jokes on me, because you don’t even care enough to keep your promises to me and just listen for five fucking minutes.” By the time you’d finished, you had to cover your mouth to try and suppress the sobs that were desperate to escape you.

Billy stayed silent, rifling through the pages and photographs in front of him, seeming to become more frantic with every passing second as he looked for something, anything, to prove that he hadn’t just destroyed your relationship for nothing.

You watched him for a second, knowing exactly what he’d find in the file, and knowing the questions he’d inevitably have for you when he found the details of your sister's death, and the car crash that had left you scarred. But it was too late for any of that now, he’d lost any right to ask anything about your past.

Moving back to the door, you gave the handle a sharp tug, even though you were pretty certain that the door was still locked.

“Wait -” his broken tone caused you to bristle. Where once you would have felt compassion, you now only felt anger.

“Let me out.”

“I don’t understand,” he told you, as he got to his feet and started to move towards you, his expression one of confusion instead of anger. You held up a hand, wanting him to keep his distance and Billy stopped. In his hand he was holding a copy of the photograph that he’d seen on your bedside table all those weeks ago, the photo of you and your siblings as children. “Please, help me understand this. I want to understand.”

“Which part, Billy? The part where you refused to listen, when you wouldn’t hear me out, when you wouldn’t trust me like you promised?” A hand scrubbed at your cheek, desperately trying to wipe away your tears, not wanting him to see just how much he’d wounded you. “Or the part where you thought so little of me that you thought I was fucking you just to get information on your company?”

“I didn’t know, I -”

“You wouldn’t let me explain!” You yelled and it was Billy’s turn to flinch at your tone. “I gave up everything I had to get that file, and now it doesn’t even matter. None of this matters anymore.”

“It matters, it -” he tried, obviously struggling for words, “- why didn’t you tell me?

“Why didn’t you believe me?” you threw back at him. ”Why is it so hard for you to trust me? Do you even trust anyone?”

“I’m sorry, I never -”

“Just - just stop. It’s too late.” You shook your head. It hurt too much and every word, every plea that left him only made the ache in your chest feel worse. “You promised me that you’d listen. I trusted you and you ruined it. You’ve ruined us.”

“No... don’t say that. Please, don’t say that.” His voice continued to crack and break, and it was almost enough to make you want to back down, but you knew you couldn’t. Not after this. He’d broken his promise to you and left you feeling more wounded and alone than you’d ever felt. “I’m sorry, let me fix this, sweetheart, please.”

“Fix this?” You almost managed to laugh through the tears. “There is no fixing this, Billy. You’ve ruined it. You broke my heart.”

“No, no... please, I -” for a moment he looked at you like those three little words were on the tip of his tongue, like he was ready to confess his love, but you didn’t want to hear it.

“Just stop. You don’t get to fight for me, Billy. Not now. Not after this.” You told him angrily. “I told you I couldn’t do this if you didn’t trust me.”

“You said you fell in love with me,” the words came out so softly that you almost didn’t hear them.

You could see the thinly masked distress on his face, the pain and misery that you’d managed to cause with that one, silly admission. You hated yourself for blurting it out like that, like you were some character in a soap opera or some shitty romance novel. And, if he’d been anyone else, you might have been angrier at his obliviousness to your feelings - of course you’d fallen in love with him, it had been so fucking obvious - but Billy had always been honest with you; he didn’t know love, didn’t understand it. All the people who were supposed to love him and abandoned him.

But not you. That was not what this was. You weren’t abandoning him, he’s pushed you to breaking point. This time it was Billy’s fault.

“What did you think was gonna happen?” You dared to ask, not even bothering to try and hide your pain anymore. “I’m not like you, Billy, I can’t just turn off my emotions whenever things get difficult.”

“You love me?” He took a step closer, the look on his face suggesting that he still thought that there was some way that he could fix things.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It matters to me, please, I -”

The door opened and, before he could finish that thought, you were rushing back out into the hallway, trying to put as much distance between yourself and Billy as possible. He followed after, your name dying on his lips when he saw Karen and Frank standing there.

“Sorry, Bill, she -” Frank started, looking at Karen who was now holding your phone.

“You’re both assholes,” she stated and neither man dared argue with her. Obviously, thankfully, she’d managed to figure out what was going on and where you were just from the half of a text message that you’d managed to send before Frank had confiscated your phone.

Her arm quickly pulled around your shoulders and she started to lead you towards the elevator while you tried to choke back tears. You didn’t dare look back until you were in the elevator; Billy looked heartbroken, following after you but keeping his distance.

“Please, I -” he tried.

“You’ve done enough, Billy. Just leave her alone.” Karen snapped as the doors slid shut and, a moment later, the floodgates opened and you started to sob uncontrollably, knowing that you’d lost everything.

TWO HOURS EARLIER.

Your heart was racing, thumping out a painful and uneven beat in your chest.

When Karen had told you that a private investigator had been asking around about you at The Bulletin, you’d put things together pretty quickly. You had her set up a meeting later that morning for you, hoping that you could fix things before they got out of control, even though your every instinct told you to pack a bag and get out of New York as quickly as you could.

You didn’t want to have to run, you didn’t want to leave the life that you were starting to build in the city. You didn’t want to leave the man that you loved.

Before heading to the diner to meet the PI, you stopped at the bank, withdrawing every penny that had, hoping that it would be enough, hoping that you could pay him off and fix everything before things spun out of control.

He was already waiting in the diner when you arrived, sitting in a booth by the window; a grizzled looking guy, well into his forties, who’d obviously been in the PI game for decades. As you slid into the seat opposite him, you felt your guts start to twist with a mix of anxiety and fear.

“If I’d known that this was the quickest way to get you out of hiding, I’d’ve done it weeks ago,” he stated before you’d even gotten comfortable. “I take it you wanted to meet to make me an offer?”

You took a breath, trying to steady your still-racing heart. “How much would it cost for you to go back to Florida and pretend you couldn’t find me?”

He almost seemed shocked that you knew where he was from for a second, but it was quickly hidden behind a lazy sort of smile.

“More than you’ve got,” he stated and your heart sank. “I’m a little surprised that you don’t seem surprised by any of this.”

“I’m not,” you offered, already feeling like you were wasting your time. “I knew it was only a matter of time before Scott started looking for me. Did he tell you why - did he tell you why he wants to find me?”

“No, and I didn’t bother to ask - usually don’t when the money’s this good.” He shrugged before sitting forward in his seat. “Go on then; what’d you do to this guy? I figured you either broke his heart or you took something of his. Must’ve been something big for you to spend these last few years running all up and down the country.”

“I didn’t do anything,” you voice cracked at how helpless you suddenly felt, “He tried to kill me, and that’s probably why he wants me back.”

That seemed to unsettle the PI and you decided to use it to your advantage.

“I take it you know about the accident?” You asked and the PI gave an awkward sort of nod, not knowing what point you were going to try to make. “It wasn’t an accident, he deliberately swerved the car off the road because I’d finally told him that I was leaving him.” Your voice continued to crack, threatening to break. “He pulled himself out of the car and left me there to die. I had to crawl through fire and broken glass to save myself,” you rolled up your sleeve, letting him see the scars, along with the sickening S that Scott had carved into your skin. “That’s why he wants to know where I am. He wants to finish the job.”

The PI let out a slow exhale and it was more than obvious from the way he shifted in his seat that he hadn’t been expecting that story, that he’d been lied to and used by Scott.

A trembling hand wiped at your eye, you were determined not to cry despite everything you’d just been forced to reveal.

“Look, I feel for you, but this is a big payday and -”

You reached into your purse and quickly placed the envelope on the table between you.

“That’s everything I have,” you told him, sniffing back tears, “you can have it all, just - please, give me the file and don’t tell him I’m here. I just want to be able to live my life. I don’t want to have to start over again.”

“You’d leave that rich boyfriend of yours?” He asked, like he almost didn’t believe what you were trying to tell him.

“If I had to. But I don’t want to. Scott has already stolen years of my life, please don’t help him take more. There’s just over fifteen grand in that envelope, I know it’s not a lot but -”

Your heart threatened to stop as he picked up the envelope and started thumbing through the stack of notes inside.

“This is everything you’ve got,” he stated with the certainty of someone who’d looked into your accounts. “You’re willing to give up everything just to make sure this guy doesn’t find you?”

“Yes...”

The moment that followed seemed to linger for an eternity; him looking at you like he was trying to decide what to do, while you stared back, silently praying to any god that might listen to you.

There was no holding back the relieved sob that slipped from you when he finally put the envelope in his pocket and slid the file across the table to you.

“I’ll tell him I lost track of you after the six months you spent in Chicago.”

“Thank you.

He gave something of a grumble as he started to pull his coat on and got to his feet, ready to walk away, but something made him stop. “Y’know, that boyfriend of yours isn’t as squeaky clean as you think. I’d be careful if I were you - and, maybe, you should ask him where his mother is.”

He didn’t give you the chance to ask what he meant, before he turned and left the diner, your gaze following him out the door and onto the street, watching as walked right past Frank Castle, who was holding his phone and photographing the entire exchange.

Chapter Nineteen

END NOTES : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok so this is probably the chapter than I've been most nervous about so I hope people enjoy the drama and angst! I know this probably wasn't what people were expecting from this chapter, but I won't say too much because I don't want to spoil anything for future chapters.

As always thanks so much for reading and sticking with this, it really does mean the world to me!

TAG LIST

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

101 notes · View notes

hungermakesmonsters · 5 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Nine

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R for smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] This chapter contains mentions of scars/burn scars/branding, it's not very detailed but please avoid if you find these things upsetting. There's also the usual smutty behaviour. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.5k

A/N : This is set the morning after the last chapter. I've given up on trying to keep each part under 4k and am now just embracing it and letting it get unhinged. Thanks to everyone still reading this, I hope you're enjoying the direction the story is taking!.

Chapter Nine

The room was spinning. You blinked, eyes bleary and refusing to focus, trying to remember why you felt like you’d been hit by a truck - ah, that’s right, all the tequila. Closing your eyes, you wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep until your hangover was gone. And you would have, if it wasn’t for the realisation that you weren’t alone. There was a warm hand possessively pressed against your bare stomach, beneath your satin camisole. Billy.

But the fact that he was there, in your bed, his arms around you, didn’t upset you nearly as much as what you were wearing.

The satin pyjama set left little to the imagination, showing off the scars of your arms that you always went to such great lengths to cover, exposing you in a way that made you feel sick to your stomach, panic quickly taking hold. For a moment you were frozen, staring at the marks left by broken glass and pulling yourself through fire and, then, at the brand that had been etched into your skin; a letter S surrounded by a heart. What had Billy thought when he finally saw you?

You pulled away from Billy’s arms, stumbling as your feet found the floor and your knee connected with an open drawer. If the sudden movement hadn’t woken him, the pained yelp you let out certainly did.

“Hey, what’s -” you heard him start to grumble, but he stopped the moment you turned and he saw the panicked look on your face.

You froze and, for a second, so did he. It would have been the perfect opportunity for you to move, to grab something to cover yourself with, but you couldn’t think, could barely even breathe once the panic really started to take hold

“Are you alright?” He asked, cautiously sitting up and getting out of bed, slowly moving towards you until you started to shrink back. Billy stopped the moment he saw you recoiling, holding up his hand in a silent surrender. He was wearing his boxers and nothing else, and - and you couldn’t remember anything after leaving the club last night.

Your throat felt dry and, for a moment, you couldn’t find the words that you knew you needed to say to him. You needed him to leave, needed him to know that whatever had happened between you last night had been a mistake. You needed to do something, anything, to get him to go.

“You should -” your voice came out as little more than a frightened whisper, Billy had to lean closer just to hear you. “You need to go, I need you to go.” A tear escaped, spilling down your cheek. You hadn’t wanted things to end like this, you’d wanted to be able to end it on your own terms with happy memories of the night you’d had together, but now Billy had seen you. A choked sob clawed its way out of you, shaking your entire body.

“It’s okay,” he tried again, slowly reaching for you. Even though some part of you longed for him to hold you, to help make all the terrible feelings go away, you stepped back again. Confusion and concern warred for place on his face. “Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Last night, it wasn’t -” you wanted so badly to remember what had been said, what had been done, but it was all a haze. But, there Billy was, in his boxers while you felt barely dressed in the satin pyjama set. “We shouldn’t’ve -”

“Nothing happened last night,” he interrupted softly. You shot him a confused look that he countered with a gentle smile. “You asked me to stay and - and I didn’t want to leave you. You were drunk and I wanted to make sure you’d be alright. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, it was just a long night.”

“Did you undress me?” You didn’t want to accuse him of being a creep, but you couldn’t understand how you’d ended up in your pyjamas, in those pyjamas.

“No, you did that yourself, you even made me turn around. All I did was hand you your PJs” he explained, still keeping his distance, still speaking so softly. “You wanted to walk home in the rain last night and we both got soaked, remember?”

You shook your head.

“Billy, please,” you tried again, “can you just -”

“I’m not leaving when you’re this upset,” adamant but still so gentle, and it was almost enough to make your heart ache. After everything you'd said and done, Billy was still fighting for you. “Is it me? Is it something I did?”

You sniffled as tears continued to roll down your cheeks. You couldn’t even bring yourself to tell him no, save for the slightest shake of your head. He hadn’t done anything, this was all you, your past and all the broken pieces you’d never wanted Billy to see. You pulled your arms around yourself, trying to hold yourself together while everything felt like it was falling apart. You didn’t even realise you were shaking until Billy moved, grabbing the comforter from your bed and wrapping it around you before you could protest.

“You’re trembling,” he muttered softly.

You weren’t sure if he pulled you towards him or you spilled forwards into his arms, but the next thing you knew, he was holding you tight while you sobbed against his shoulder. The minutes ticked by and he didn’t move, didn’t try to speak or do anything. He let you get it all out, all the while holding onto you, letting you know he was going nowhere.

Eventually, you were all cried out.

“I didn’t want you to see,” you finally muttered, face hidden against his neck.

“See what?” He asked carefully, cautiously understanding just how fragile the situation was.

“The scars...”

“Oh,” he breathed out, like he hadn’t even noticed the scars before you mentioned them but, then; “is that why you keep pushing me away?”

It wasn’t that simple, but you found yourself nodding regardless. It wasn’t just the scars, it was how you got them, it was the life that you’d left behind when you came to New York; it was who you were, it was all the mistakes of your past. It was all the things you’d never be able to tell him.

Your heart stopped when he pulled away from you and took a step back. You couldn’t even bring yourself to lift your head, already so convinced that he was about to walk away from you, that you’d hear the sound of the door closing behind him at any moment. Pulling the comforter tighter around you, you choked back another sob; you needed him to leave, but you didn’t want him to go.

Suddenly, you felt his hands on your cheeks, urging you to lift your head and look at him. His deep, dark eyes found yours with a softness you knew you didn’t deserve, a softness you hadn’t realised that he possessed. His thumbs wiped away your tears and, for a second, he didn’t seem to know what he wanted to say to you.

“I’m not gonna walk away from you just ‘cause you have scars, sweetheart,'' a tender smile on his lips. “Everyone’s got scars. They don’t change how I feel about you.”

“But -” you weren’t even sure what you wanted to say, how you wanted to protest.

“No buts,” he stopped you, “I don’t know what you thought I was gonna think when I saw them, but the scars don’t bother me and I don’t think any less of you ‘cause of them. To go through all that and come out of the other side? That just tells me you’re a survivor like me, and that’s all I need to know. Your past is your own and, if you never want to tell me about it then…” he trailed into a shrug.

Without thinking, you pressed forwards into him, his arms pulling you back into a momentary embrace before he lifted you off your feet and returned you to bed. You relaxed into his arms, finally tired of fighting against what you wanted. Billy gathered you in his arms and held you tight, making you feel safer than you had in a long time. You tried to fight against sleep but, eventually, it managed to find you. And, as you slept, Billy held you.

Three hours passed before you stirred in his arms, your head resting on his chest above his heart while his hand held your arm, his thumb lightly running over the letter etched into your skin at the crook of your arm. His hand moved the moment he realised you were awake, cupping your cheek tenderly.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” you offered shyly, feeling like this was the first time that Billy was seeing the real you. “You stayed.”

“Of course I did, there’s nowhere I’d rather be. How’s the hangover?”

“Not great.”

Billy responded by pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Need me to get you a glass of water?”

“No,” you answered a little too suddenly, “just - stay with me.” Your arms pulled tight around him, wanting to make sure he couldn’t leave you.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” holding you tighter, letting you know he wasn’t going anywhere.

Silence fell and you closed your eyes again, concentrating on the steady drumming of his heart beat. For a few minutes, Billy seemed to assume you’d fallen asleep again, staying quiet and letting you rest.

“I’m sorry,” you finally muttered, keeping your eyes shut.

“What for?”

“For being a bitch last night. I shouldn’t’ve mentioned your ex,” you felt him tense just at the mention of her, “I don’t think you’d hurt me. I just - I wanted you to leave me alone.”

“And now?” The hesitation was clear in his voice, he still felt tense, worried that things were about to fall apart again.

“I don’t want you to go,” you admitted, finally telling him the truth, but it wasn’t that simple, “but there are things about me that I can’t -”

“Sweetheart,” he interrupted, “I already told you, I don’t need to know anything about your past that you don’t want to share. If you want to tell me, you can, but I’m not gonna push you.”

“How can you say that? I could’ve done something terrible, something unforgivable, something that could ruin your life.”

“‘cause I’ve got plenty of shit in my past that I’m not proud of, but I’m trying to do better and I think you are too,” he explained. “Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind. So, whatever it is you’re hiding, you don’t have to push me away over it.”

It should have set your mind at ease knowing that he wasn’t going to push, that he was only interested in the you that existed in the here and now. But, really, what did that mean for the two of you? What if he changed his mind or, worse, what if you opened yourself up to him and he hurt you? The constant push and pull of the last couple of months had left you exhausted and, now that there was potentially an end to it, you weren’t sure what you wanted. The safest option would be to carry on as you had been, keeping to yourself, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted Billy.

The silence dragged on between you, giving you more and more time to think and overthink every little thing, not knowing what to say to him. And,eventually, you came to realise that the time for words was over.

Lifting your head, you found Billy’s lips, kissing him softly, telling him everything you couldn’t find the words to say; you wanted him, you weren’t going to push him away anymore.

Billy kissed back, and it wasn’t long before things started to escalate. His tongue slipped between your lips, his arms pulled you closer. But it wasn’t enough, you wanted more, you wanted anything that might silence all the doubts in your head once and for all. You straddled him, your hands roaming his bare chest, fingers running over all of his scars and imperfections.

Your hips started to move, needing more of a distraction, needing to feel not think. Billy groaned beneath you and it wasn’t long before you felt him grow hard, stoking that familiar heat between your thighs, arousal quickly soaking through your satin shorts. It made you want more, made you want everything. Your movements quickly became frenzied, chasing something to silence all the complicated thoughts and emotions that were overwhelming you.

“Hey - hey, slow down,” Billy pulled his lips from yours, hands finding your hips, trying to slow things down. And, when that didn’t work, when you refused to slow down, he rolled you, putting himself on top. “It’s alright,” he told you softly, recognising your internal panic “let me help.”

Your breath caught as he placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose and started to slowly pull up your camisole. Lifting yourself, you helped him remove it, though you could feel your cheeks burning with shame as more scars were revealed to him. But Billy didn’t even seem to see them, he just continued to smile softly at you before kissing you again, waiting until you started to relax beneath him. Then, his lips started to trail downwards, going slowly, like he was trying to commit every piece of you to memory.

Lips and hands explored your breasts, enjoying teasing your nipples into hardened peaks, before slipping lower. Your heart almost stopped when he reached one of the more prominent scars that ran across your stomach, but Billy didn’t flinch, he looked up and caught your gaze as he kissed along the length of the scar before continuing downwards, until he reached the waistband of your shorts. Lifting your hips, you helped him remove them, leaving you completely exposed beneath him as he sank lower on the bed.

He lifted your leg over his shoulder, lips finding your thigh, trailing kisses upwards while his fingers ran slowly down your tightening belly. His stubble tickled and scratched along the inside of your thigh, his hot breath creating dampness against your skin. Your fingers slipped into his dark locks as your hips lifted, urging him on. You were panting for breath before his lips were anywhere near you, and when he reached the wetness between your thighs, you stopped breathing entirely. Billy paused, breathing you in, committing everything about the moment to memory. And even though you couldn’t see his lips, you knew he was smiling.

“Fuck,” he muttered, “you’re already dripping for me.”

Your cheeks burned as he looked up at you, and just seeing him there between your legs drew a whimper from you, your fingers pulling at his hair trying to coax him into action. Billy toyed with you, lightly kissing and ghosting his lips against you before, finally, parting your folds with his fingers and letting you feel his warm tongue. He dragged it against you, flat and hot against your arousal, lapping the wetness around your slit before focusing his attention on your throbbing clit.

It wasn’t long before you were writhing beneath him, one heel pressing into his back while the other dug into the mattress, pressing your hips desperately against his greedy tongue. You moaned wordless pleas as your fingers tightened in his hair, begging and demanding with every desperate noise that slipped from your lips.

A heat rose inside you, burning you from the inside out, and when you thought you couldn’t take it any more, you felt a new sort of pleasure. His index finger breached your slit with ease, and you moaned as he set to work, stroking and curling in time with the rhythm of his tongue against your clit. Your thighs trembled around his head and Billy quickly doubled down.

Another finger penetrated your wet walls, pulling a desperate cry from your lips, your back shamelessly arching, pressing yourself against his eager lips and fingers. And, when your movements turned too eager, too desperate, he tried to hold you in place with a strong hand on your stomach.

You were getting close when you felt his lips pull around your swollen clit, sucking it, distracting your while he managed to slide a third finger into you, stretching you, trying to prepare you for what came next.

“Fuck, Billy!” You cried out, overwhelmed by everything he was doing. And, when his fingers bent inside you, hitting that special spot, you fell apart. Your head pressed back against the pillow, crying his name, over and over, as you came on his fingers.

He didn’t start to slow until he was sure you were done, letting his fingers slip from your trembling body, but his lips remained, tongue trailing slow circles around your over-stimulated clit. Then, finally, he kissed your pussy, as deeply as he would your mouth, allowing himself to indulge in one last taste before pulling away. He lingered for a moment, taking the opportunity to slip out of his boxers before slowly kissing his way back up your body. Your fingers remained in his hair, lacking the brainpower to even consider letting him go.

Billy came to a stop, leaning over you supported by his elbows, looking down at you. His lips and chin were coated in your arousal, and you could taste it on his tongue when he finally kissed you again. It was intoxicating. And, soon enough, you wanted more.

Now that this was really happening, you wanted everything.

For the longest time, he seemed content where he was, his body hovering above yours as you tasted yourself on his tongue. Your hips lifted, needily trying to angle yourself so the tip of his hard cock trailed through your slickness. Billy groaned into your mouth, lowering his hips a fraction, then a little more as your hips started to move, as if he didn’t even realise he was doing it. You kept moving, rocking your hips, letting him slip further between your soaked folds, letting him feel the throb of your clit against his shaft. Slowly, your hands slipped down his back, fingernails tracing the path of his spine before you hands came to rest on his ass, pulling him closer, leaving no doubt what you wanted.

Whatever shred of restraint he’d been clinging to quickly vanished and his cock slowly started to fill you. Moaning, you pulled him closer, a leg hitching on his hip, opening yourself up for him, feeling the delicious stretch as he filled you.

It took a second for you to remember that he wasn’t wearing a condom, but once he was inside you and you could really feel him, you knew you couldn’t stop. You knew you’d never want him any other way. If Billy realised he wasn’t wearing a condom, he didn’t let it show, but you could tell from his face he loved these new sensations just as much as you. Your pussy fluttered and clenched around him as he finally bottomed out.

“Don’t hold back,” you begged, before common sense got the better of either of you.

Billy pulled back before pitching his cock back into you, letting you feel every hard inch. Your body gripped him tight, soaking him as he started to fuck you, your arousal letting him move with ease. He didn’t hold back, didn’t take things slow; he gave you exactly what you’d asked for.

You moaned and moved beneath him, lifting your hips to meet his thrusts, overwhelmed by how much of him you could feel now he wasn’t sheathed in rubber. And Billy seemed just as lost in you. His eyes fixed on you, watching the way your mouth went slack and your eyes rolled back as he fucked you. He groaned your name over and over, like he was laying claim to you, and a vague memory of last night filled your mind; once you’re mine, I’m gonna ruin you.

His lips pressed against the column of your throat, kissing and nipping, while his hand rested on your breast, fingers plucking at a hardened nipple. He was everywhere, but it still didn’t feel like it was enough. Your nails dug into his back as he fucked you harder.

“Oh, fuck, Billy,” you moaned, pulling him closer, clawing at his back, demanding more.

“You like that?” He asked, smirking down at you. “You want it rough, sweetheart? Need me to fuck you harder?”

“Please -”

Before your brain had a chance to catch up, Billy had pulled your legs over his shoulders, changing the angle and opening you up to him, so every hard inch of him could fill you over and over. His fingers continued to play with your nipple, while his other hand rested somewhere between your shoulder and your throat, pinning you beneath him with the slightest pressure. Your head lolled back on the pillow, offering your throat to him without thought, but his hand didn’t move. (Maybe next time, you hoped.)

“Billy I - I’m so close -” you begged.

“Come for me, sweetheart. Come all over my cock.”

“Not without you, I want -” you were cut off by another moan tearing its way from your lips. “Billy, please…”

He continued to fuck you until your walls started to flutter around his cock and your body started to tremble, thrusting into your a couple more times before he fell apart with you.

“Oh, fuck, Billy. Yes...” You shuddered and cried out as he came, a sudden heat filling you, burning you from the inside out, letting Billy lay claim to you completely. His hips kept moving, cock twitching, gripped tight by your body as he emptied himself inside you.

Everything fell silent and still when he was done, but he didn’t pull away save for letting you lower your legs back onto the bed, leaving you with his cock buried inside you while you caught your breath. Your arms wrapped around him, holding tight, not wanting the moment to end. You liked the weight of his body on top of you more than you wanted to think about, and there was something so intimate about the way his face was pressed against your neck as he slowly came down from his high.

“I never want to wear a condom with you again,” he finally muttered. You weren’t sure if it was a joke or a demand, but it didn’t matter, not when you’d had the same thought. You didn’t even have to answer, your body did it for you, squeezing tight around his cock. Billy finally lifted himself so he could look at you, a tired smile on his lips. “You alright?

“Yeah, I just...” you weren’t sure where to start or if it was the right time to start any serious conversation with him, given the fact that he was still inside you and your thighs were still trembling. “If we’re going to do this, I need to know that there’s no one else, that you’re not sleeping around. I know you said you don’t do love or relationships or whatever, but I can’t do this if you’re fucking other women.”

Your stomach dropped when he didn’t answer straight away. He took a moment to think about it, to think about whether you were worth giving up casual sex whenever he wanted it - and that he had to think about it at all made you feel like you weren’t worth it to him after all. While he was thinking, he took the opportunity to finally move, slipping out of you and rolling onto his side beside you.

You’d hoped that space between you might help you think clearly, but once he moved, you found that all you could really think about was the slickness he’d left between your thighs.

“I can do that,” he finally answered, “but -”

Billy fell awkwardly silent, like he was struggling with this just as much as you were.

“But?” You prompted, not really sure you wanted to hear the rest.

“I need to know that you’re not gonna push me away again, and that you’ll tell me when I fuck things up. And - and I need to know that you’re not gonna fuck other guys.”

Some part of you wanted to be offended - Billy had already seen firsthand how badly trying to fuck other men had gone for you - but there was something in the way he was looking at you, something vulnerable and you realised that you were asking him to do something he wasn’t used to. You were asking him to trust that you wouldn’t leave him. Whatever you were, it might not be a relationship but it would be exclusive.

“Okay,” you agreed, and Billy smirked at you.

“And you have to let me eat that sweet pussy whenever I want.”

“Hmm, I think I can just about manage that,” trying to bite back a laugh.

His hand moved to cup your cheek, but the moment you noticed the bruising you intercepted it, taking it between your own hands and inspecting the damage, concern written across your face.

“I’m sorry, Billy.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.” He was quick to comfort you, shushing you when you tried to protest. “I should’ve handled things better, you only went to the club ‘cause I was an asshole to you. Let’s just put it behind us, okay?”

You nodded, softly kissing his bruised knuckles before squirming closer to him and wrapping your arms around him again.

“Do you still want to take me for dinner?”

“Depends, do you want pizza again?” He asked with a laugh.

“I’ll let you pick this time.”

“Tomorrow, seven o’clock,” he decided and you nodded, “and pack a bag, I want to take you home with me afterwards.”

“Oh, you think you’re going to get lucky?”

“Sweetheart, as of this moment, I’m already the luckiest guy in the whole fucking world.” Billy grinned.

You laid in bed together for a little while longer before real life started to rear its ugly head. Billy’s phone started to ring and, honestly, it hadn’t even crossed your mind that he’d obviously decided to take a day off work just to be with you.

He slipped out of bed to answer the phone and you found yourself watching him, taking in the sight of his naked body while he bent to grab his phone from his pants. The conversation that followed seemed fairly one-sided and you couldn’t tell what was going on from Billy’s single word answers, but the look on his face said it was serious.

“What’s up?” You asked, as he hung up.

“A security issue’s come up at Anvil.” He answered with a sigh, moving back towards the bed.

“It’s okay, Billy. You can go if you have to. We’re going for dinner tomorrow night, right?” This wasn’t an ending, it was a start, and you wanted him to know that.

“Right,” he answered, leaning down to kiss you softly. “I meant what I said; pack a bag tomorrow. I need a whole night of you.”

He kissed you again, almost getting caught up in the moment before you managed to pull yourself away from him, pointing towards the door. You watched as he got dressed and pulled on a hoodie and some sweats to see him to the door.

Chapter Ten

END NOTES : I don't have much to say this chapter, because I don't want to risk giving anything away, but thanks so much if you've been keeping up with this! Unfortunately I've given up on trying to keep these chapters short now so, anything that follows is probably going to be the same length.

If you want adding/removing from the tag list let me know (if it's not working for some reason... I honestly have no idea how to fix that but I hope it is working??)

TAG LIST

@lincerad @sweetserendipity65 @rafaelakelley @slayerofthevampire @rensolodriver @lovelydoveval @doloreschanal @uncontainedsmiles @damagelove @danzer8705

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #cmiyc ff

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hungermakesmonsters · 4 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Twelve

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R-ish

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] This chapter contains vague allusions to physical abuse/abusive past relationship. Some sex mentions. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~3.2k

A/N : This is set about a week after the last chapter. It's mostly angst and a little bit more about readers past. Billy kinda fucks up in this one.

CHAPTER TWELVE

It felt strange to long for someone you hardly knew, to miss having him close when you’d only been intimate for a couple of weeks. But, without Billy, you felt a strange sort of loneliness that should have terrified you, the sort of yearning you’d completely given up on before you’d let him force his way into your life.

Days had continued to tick by with nothing but text messages and phone calls passing between you, leaving you longing to feel his arms around you again. You tried everything to push the feelings away; reading, catching up with old TV shows, anything that didn’t make you think of him.

But, the moment he told you that he’d be working from home and that you could stay over, you agreed, biking across Manhattan as soon as you finished your day.

He was waiting for you the moment the elevator doors slid open, kissing you and tugging off your clothes as he pressed you back against the wall. He fucked you like it had been six years and not six days since you’d last seen him, leaving you a trembling mess and reminding you just what you’d been missing out on all week.

Eventually, once he managed to finally put you down and take his hands off you, you found yourself on his sofa, eating Chinese take out while he sat with his laptop and tried to get some work done. Now and then, he’d shoot you an apologetic look - obviously, it wasn’t how he’d wanted the evening to go, but you were perfectly happy where you were, enjoying the food and just being near him. You distracted yourself by trying to finish reading the trashy romance novel you’d brought on the Kindle app on your phone.

When you needed a drink, you stood, heading for the kitchen, trying not to disturb Billy. You didn’t think twice about leaving your phone on the sofa, unlocked and on the page you were in the middle of reading - your first mistake of the evening.

“Her fingers sizzled a path to my cock,” his words caught you by surprise, and so did the laugh that followed, “sweetheart, if you’d wanted something to read, I could’ve found you a much better book than this horny trash.”

You turned back to him, feigning indignation; “I’ll have you know that horny trash is the only thing that’s been getting me through the last few days.”

He put down his laptop on the coffee table and slowly got to his feet, your phone still in his hand.

“You think a smutty book is a good substitute for me?” His dark eyes fixed on you, looking at you like he was thinking of all the things he wanted to do to you. You stepped away from the kitchen, back towards him, waiting for him to clear the distance between you and take what he wanted. “Does this stuff really get you going? Does it get you wet?”

You bit your lower lip, trying to to stop your lips from pulling into a smirk, but it was impossible.

“Have you spent this whole week with your fingers between your legs reading this?” Billy asked, stepping closer still. You bit down on your lip even harder, your cheeks starting to heat, before you managed to shake your head. “No?”

“Not my fingers,” you admitted softly, “and it wasn’t the book I was thinking about...”

“Not your fingers?” Your head shook again and he took a step closer. You might as well have been naked with the way he was looking at you, his eyes burning with desire. “Then what were you using while you were thinking about me?”

“My vibrator,” not sure why admitting to owning a sex toy to someone like Billy felt so scandalous.

“Fuck, sweetheart, if I’d known you’d been missing me so much I would’ve spent the last hour inside you, reminding you why nothing but me is ever gonna satisfy your sweet little pussy,” his voice turned low, uncontrolled. “Guess I’m gonna have to make up for lost time now...”

Your eyes dropped, noticing the way his sweatpants were already starting to tent, relieved that the conversation was getting to him just as much as it was you.

“What about you?” You dare to ask.

“What about me?”

“How much did you miss me?”

“You mean did I jerk off thinking about you?” He asked and you nodded. “Every night with those red lace panties you gave me.”

You breath caught at the admission and the look on his face, and you found yourself trying to picture it. Staring, you silently willed him to clear the distance between you and give you both what you clearly wanted. But Billy didn’t move, he seemed more interested in the moment you were sharing and wanted to see how far he could push it.

“I get hard just thinking about you, sweetheart,” he continued to confess, “I can’t stop thinking about you on your knees, sucking my cock.”

You made a show of licking your lips, despite the embarrassment you were enjoying watching him slowly lose control. He wanted you to break first, but you weren’t going to make it easy for him. “Yeah? You liked that?”

“You know I did,” he all but growled, knowing what you were trying to do to him. “You liked it too, didn’t you? You were so fucking wet when I got you home...”

You nodded almost shyly. As much as you wanted to carry on, you weren’t like Billy, dirty talk didn’t come easily to you, but you still managed; “want me to do it again, right now?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I want you to get on your knees and -”

But then your phone started to ring in his hand and the game quickly came to an end. You watched as he looked at the screen, the smile vanishing from his lips.

“Who’s Sam?” He asked with an unexpected sharpness that caused your stomach to knot.

“Don’t answer it,” you begged quickly, suddenly. With your hand outstretched you moved towards him, needing him to give you your phone back. But Billy wasn’t looking at you, he was looking at the name on the screen and the picture that went with it.

The ringing soon stopped, but Billy didn’t give your phone back. Instead he started swiping at the screen, obviously looking for something. Your stomach dropped, realising that your phone was still unlocked and he had access to everything on there.

“Billy, give me my phone back, it’s not -” you tried to talk around the lump that had lodged itself in your throat.

“Call me back,” he started to read from your phone, obviously scrolling through the dozens of unanswered text messages Sam had sent, “we need to talk. I love you but I’m sick of this shit. Don’t make me come get you. Talk to me. We had a deal.”

“It’s not what you think,” you tried again, reaching for your phone. Billy stepped back, keeping hold of your phone.

“And what do you think I think?” He asked, his tone enough to make you flinch. “‘cause I think forty-seven missed calls today, and fifty-two yesterday means someone really wants to talk to you.”

“It’s not like that -”

“Oh, isn’t it? So you get guys telling you that they love you all the time, calling you non-stop and begging you to talk to them?” It almost felt like he was mocking you, like he thought you were an idiot for even trying to convince that there was nothing going on.

“Billy, please, just listen to me...”

If he heard you, he didn’t seem to care. “Is this what does it for you? Is this why you finally said yes to me? Did I chase you enough, make you feel special? You just like the attention?”

“Stop it, just -” you raised your voice, desperate to make him listen, to make him hear you out.

“Is this what you want? You want me to lose my mind over you? Will you start ignoring my calls when you’re done with me?” Something almost frantic started to slip into his tone.

“No, Billy, I -”

It was clear to see that he was spiralling out of control, that the thought of you with another man made him lose his mind. And it hurt - it hurt that he wouldn’t listen to you, that he thought you’d do anything to hurt him like that.

“If I obsess over you enough, do I get my initials carved on your body somewhere? Will you let me pick where?”

You stepped backwards, an uncomfortable breath catching in your throat. It only took Billy a second to realise his mistake. There was no confusing the sudden look of terror on your face or the way that your whole body tensed as you started to back away from him. Your eyes stayed fixed on him, wide and afraid, your lungs burning as they struggled to draw breath.

Billy seemed frozen as the pieces fell into place and he finally understood; you hadn’t carved the S into your arm. Someone else had, against your will.

And, now, despite everything about him that made you feel safe, despite every time you’d told yourself that he wouldn’t hurt you, you were overcome with fear.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t -” you flinched as he took a step, “- I didn’t mean that. I’d never -”

“Please stop,” you uttered quietly, voice breaking as you blinked back tears. You didn’t want to talk about it, not now, not ever.

“I didn’t know, you didn’t tell me - why didn’t you tell me?” A panicked anguish quickly filled his voice and, at any other time, you might have felt for him, but all you could do was continue to shrink away from him. “Tell me who did it - tell me, I’ll fucking kill him.”

The spike of anger in his voice did nothing to settle your frayed nerves. You knew it wasn’t aimed at you, but you had no doubt in that moment that Billy was capable of murder, and that he’d kill anyone who’d hurt you. But you didn’t want Billy involved, you didn’t want him to know about any of your scars or where they had come from.

“Was it this guy? This Sam?” He held up your phone, his knuckles turning white as he dared to step closer. Even though his anger wasn’t directed at you anymore, it still scared you.

You shook your head. “Sam’s my brother.”

Another secret spilled, another thing you hadn’t wanted him to know.

“You have a brother? I thought you said -”

You moved suddenly, before Billy could reach you - he was between you and the elevator, so leaving wasn’t an option, but you needed space, you needed to be able to breathe. He called your name and you heard him following after you as you ducked into his bedroom and headed for the bathroom, locking the door behind you.

The moment the door was shut, you sank to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest.

“I’m sorry, I -” you could hear him on the other side of the door, but he didn’t rattle the handle, didn’t knock or try to get to you. From the broken tone of his voice, you knew that he was upset and, as much as you might have hated that at any other time, Billy’s upset was not your priority. “I’m a fucking idiot, I’m sorry. I - I never meant -”

You took a long breath, counting back from ten, trying to remember any of the coping mechanisms you’d worked on in therapy so many years ago. Despite the tears in the corners of your eyes, the last thing you wanted was to cry - you’d cried too many tears over the scars on your arms over the years and you weren’t going to shed any more. You were stronger than that, you’d spent years becoming stronger than that.

“Please, talk to me?”

You still didn’t answer. You couldn’t, it felt like you could hardly breathe.

He was pacing, you could hear it through the door. “I’d never hurt you - you know I’d never hurt you, right? I couldn’t, I -”

Still, you said nothing. A moment later there was a loud thud and you heard his footsteps moving away from the door and out of the bedroom.

As you sat, you tried to deconstruct everything that had happened, why it had upset you and whether it was reasonable to be upset about it; Billy going through your phone without permission (yeah, it was reasonable to be upset at that), him getting upset about Sam (yes and no, you probably could have handled that a little better), and the comment about that scar (yes but, again, he hadn’t known the full story).

But, the thing that worried you, the thing that had you panicked, was just how quickly it had escalated and how he hadn’t even tried to hear your side of things. Did you think that he could hurt you? No. But whether that was you being stupid and naive, you didn’t know. All you really knew was that something inside you felt safe with Billy, something inside you told you that he’d never hurt you, and perhaps that was the best place to start.

It took twenty minutes before you worked up the courage to stand and another five before you could bring yourself to open the bathroom door. Billy was nowhere to be seen but, to your surprise, he’d left your phone on the floor in front of the bathroom door.

You grabbed your bag from the foot of the bed and carried it with you, but you didn’t head for the elevator. You weren’t going to run away.

Billy was standing by the windows, looking out at the view, looking every bit as lost and alone as you felt.

“We - we should talk,” you said softly, just to draw his attention.

He turned, but he didn’t move towards you. He kept his distance, as if he didn’t trust himself anymore. When he caught sight of the bag in your hand, Billy let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding like he knew he’d already lost.

“I know you are.”

“I didn’t mean -”

“Yes you did, Billy.” It wasn’t your intention to hurt him but there was no missing the flicker of pain on his face. He’d been upset, but he’d meant every word that he’d said to you, and you needed him to acknowledge that. “But what hurts is that you saw those messages and just assumed that I’d do that to you.”

“I know, I shouldn’t’ve, I just...” you could see the struggle on his face as he tried to find the words, tried to find a way to explain something that you weren’t even sure he could explain. You were starting to think it was just how he was wired - but that didn’t mean you had to accept it. “This isn’t easy for me.”

“Which part? Because it’s not exactly a walk in the park for me either.”

“I don’t do this,” which didn’t make it any clearer, but the frustration in his voice was unmissable.

“There is no this, Billy. You didn’t want this to be a relationship. We’re just - I don’t know, us.”

“Yeah, just us.”

There was something in the way he said it that had your heart sinking and it took a moment for the penny to finally drop.

“You wanna fuck other women, is that it?” And suddenly it all seemed pointless. “Of course you do, why wouldn’t you? Why would I ever think you might settle for me?” Because, of course, a man like Billy wouldn’t settle for you, scars and all.

You started to move towards the elevator, telling yourself that, this time, it wasn’t running away; you’d tried to talk to him, tried to figure it out, and leaving was the only option that remained. As much as it hurt, you couldn’t stay knowing that he’d never be satisfied with you, and that he clearly didn’t feel a fraction of what you felt when you were with him. (It was your own fault, you shouldn’t have let yourself feel anything at all for a man like Billy, you’d known from the start that it would end badly.)

“Stop -” he suddenly started to move towards you, “- I don’t want to fuck anyone else, that’s not what I meant. And I’m not settling, you’re the only one I want.” He forced the words out in an angry and uncomfortable admission - he didn’t even manage to look like he believed it himself.

“I’d be flattered if you didn’t sound like it bothered you so fucking much.” You spat back, just as angry.

“Of course it bothers me. I don’t know how to not fuck this up. I don’t know how to not make you leave me.”

“My suggestion would be doing anything but this.” You reached the elevator doors, but you didn’t push the call button - you couldn’t bring yourself to end things, not while he was still talking.

“So, that’s it - we’re back to this?”

“Back to what?”

“You, pushing me away, not talking to me.”

“I can’t do this if you don’t trust me.” You told him.

“I’m trying, but you don’t trust me either, do you?”

You wanted to answer immediately, to tell him of course you trusted him, but it wasn’t that simple. He was right, you didn’t trust him, not completely - you didn’t trust anyone completely. You couldn't, you’d been hurt too many times before. And maybe Billy had been too.

“Why don’t you do this - why don’t you want a relationship?” You dared to ask and Billy looked away almost as if he was ashamed.

“Because everyone leaves eventually? Because what I can offer always stops being enough... I don’t know.” He sounded resigned to it, like there really was no other way that he saw things panning out.

“And you think that’d happen with us? That I’d just leave you?”

He looked at you for a second before letting his gaze drop again. “You’re doing it right now.”

“That isn’t fair. You know why I’m leaving.” You wanted to be firm, wanted him to know that you were leaving because of his actions, not because of who he was but, instead, the words came out quiet, soft.

Billy didn’t answer, he looked defeated, like he’d given up. He didn’t talk again until you’d hit the call button and the elevator doors slid open.

“So, we’re done then?”

Were you? You hesitated, hating how quickly everything had fallen apart - how easily you’d both let it fall apart. Maybe it was just how things were meant to be; maybe neither of you were capable of sustaining whatever this was. But -

“No - I don’t know,” was the most honest answer you could give. “I just - I need some time, Billy. Can you give me that?”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “A few days maybe?”

“Okay,” he shrugged in return, looking like he’d already given up.

By the time you’d stepped into the elevator and hit the button, he’d already turned away from you. Billy didn’t say a word as the doors shut and you left him all alone. Somehow, you managed not to break down and cry until you’d made it back across the city and into the comfort of your own bed.

Chapter Thirteen

A/N : Well... I originally wanted to try and time things so I could have nice chapters come out over the holidays, but then this happened. Sorry! It really wasn't my intention to end the year on a downer, but don't worry, the next part is pretty much finished and will be up the same time next week!!

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and, as always I really do appreciate all the love you've shown this series!!!

If you want adding/removing from the tag list let me know (I know it hasn't been working for some people so I've tried to remove and add people again to see if that help but, other than that, I think it's just tumblr being lame?)

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff

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hungermakesmonsters · 2 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Nineteen

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - some smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] There's some smutty behaviour and vague descriptions of a panic attack. And lots of angst. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~3.9k

A/N : Five weeks after the heartbreak of the last part (sorry again for that). As always thanks so much everyone who's reading every week and all the new people, you're all awesome!

Chapter Nineteen

The next week passed as something of a blur.

After leaving Anvil, Karen had taken you back to her apartment and, after listening to you sob for an immeasurable amount of time, she led you to her guest room. And that was pretty much where you stayed for days. Your phone rang and buzzed; he tried to call hundreds of times, sent countless messages before Karen took your phone and blocked his number because, despite how much he’d hurt you, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

A couple of days later he turned up at Karen’s door - she didn’t let him in and you didn’t speak to him, you just heard them arguing while you fought back tears.

You hated him for how broken he’d managed to make you feel, how pathetic and weak you felt because you’d been stupid enough to believe that he could ever feel anything for you. But, as much as you hated him, there was a part of you that still loved him; a part of you that would always love him, a part of you that was worried about him, about how he was handling all of this.

After the first week, you managed to pull yourself together enough to go back to work, knowing that you needed to start earning back the money that you’d given to the PI. You stayed with Karen a little while longer before she told you that you could go home, that Billy understood that you didn’t want to see him and he wouldn’t bother you anymore. That didn’t stop you from changing your phone number though.

The welcome home you received from Tammy was awkward at best but, to her credit, she tried to make you feel better. And, soon enough, you fell back into your old rhythm of working all day and spending your evenings alone in front of the TV. After three weeks, it almost felt like the last few months had never happened and that Billy Russo had been nothing more than a fever dream.

Eventually, things got easier; you didn’t cry yourself to sleep every night and didn’t wake yourself reaching for his body beside you. It still hurt to think about him - you were certain that it would always hurt - but it became easier to not think about him at all.

Until it came to pick the photos that you wanted to print for your show.

You’d wanted to just cancel the whole thing, but you knew you needed whatever money you could make from it. And there he was, one of the best candid shots you had, catching him as his lips were pulling into a smile - he’d been laughing at something Karen had said during his interview all those months ago. You didn’t want to use the picture but you couldn’t not, not when it was technically one of the best photographs you’d taken recently. Karen had given you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and, somehow, you managed to not break down.

Your brother had asked you to go to Connecticut to stay with him for a while and, without Billy as a reason to say no, you found yourself agreeing. A fresh start was just what you needed, but first you needed money, and that meant using that photo, even though it broke your heart every time you looked at it.

By the time the show rolled around, it had been almost five weeks since you’d last seen Billy so, really, you weren’t expecting what came next.

Things had been going well, the first hour of the show had been good, everyone seemed to like your work and, for the first time in weeks, you felt almost good about yourself, like things were finally starting to get better.

And that’s when you saw him.

Your heart stuttered in your chest at the sight of him, standing in front of a photo of himself, his back to you. His shoulder ticked upwards and, from nowhere, you felt that pang of sorrow in your gut, remembering how his shoulder had been hurt. But there was something else about him, something that felt off. He seemed almost slouched, he looked defeated already before anything had even been said.

Karen appeared at your side, her eyes quickly finding him.

“I’m sorry, I already told him to leave,” she tried to explain, keeping her voice low, obviously trying to avoid causing a scene, “I can get Frank to come get him so you don’t have to deal with him -”

“No,” you caught yourself saying, shaking your head, “it’s - it’s fine, Karen.”

“You don’t have to talk to him,” she offered softly.

“I think I do. I need this to be over.”

She looked at you for a moment and, obviously, she still had plenty she wanted to say to you but, for whatever reason, she decided not to. She just gave a nod. “I’m here if you need me.”

You hoped that you wouldn’t need her, you hoped that the small amount of peace you’d managed to cultivate over the last five weeks would be enough to face him and finally draw a line under everything that had happened so you could both move on. Moving slowly, you approached him and stopped beside him.

He gave you a cursory glance before letting his gaze drift back to the photograph.

“You’re the only person who’s ever made me smile like that,” he told you, already sounding defeated, like he wasn’t there to fight you, or fight for you.

“Maybe you’d be able to smile more if you weren’t always expecting the worst from people,” you answered softly, finding yourself looking at the picture, at the lit-up and carefree expression on his face. It made your heart ache to know he was hurting now, even if he did mostly bring it on himself.

“Yeah, that’s what people keep telling me,” Billy sighed.

A silence fell and you both let it linger, neither seeming to know what to say to the other. It felt like there was an insurmountable chasm between the two of you, instead of just three feet. You had thought that you would have more to say to him, you thought you’d vent your anger and frustration, and tell him all the things you couldn’t quite say the last time you’d spoken but, now, you just felt empty. It felt pointless. Billy had left a hole in your life and you weren’t sure you’d ever recover from it.

“I’m sorry,” he finally muttered. “I know it doesn’t mean anything now and it doesn’t fix what I broke, but I - I shouldn’t’ve jumped to conclusions, I should’ve talked to you first.”

“Is that all you wanted to say?”

“No,” he hesitated awkwardly, finally forcing himself to look at you, “I thought you should know that I read the file...”

It should have surprised you half as much as it did - you’d left him with a file containing decades worth of information on you, of course he looked through it. But, still, the thought made you feel light headed. Even now, when he no longer meant anything to you, you didn’t want Billy to know about your past.

“I need some air,” you muttered, turning and heading towards the fire escape. Billy waited for a moment before deciding to follow.

You pushed the heavy door open and stepped out onto the metal balcony, shivering the moment the cold air hit your skin. Billy followed after, letting the door close behind him and, suddenly, everything felt so quiet. You looked down at the street below and, then, looked up at the ominous clouds - anything to avoid looking at Billy.

“I would have helped pay off the PI if you’d told me,” he finally broke the silence.

“I told you, there are things about my past that I didn’t want you to know,” you pulled your arms across your chest as you turned back to finally face him, trying to ward off the cold.

“You didn’t have to tell me about any of it. I still would have helped.” He told you with that oh-so familiar stubborn tone. “There’s nothing in that file that changes how I feel about you.”

(Feel. Present tense.)

You shook your head.

“It’s not that simple, Billy. That file doesn’t tell the whole story and even if it did, I didn’t want you to know.” As much as you might have wanted to, you couldn’t keep the frustration from slipping into your tone. But, still, you were taken aback - you’d always assumed he’d want nothing to do with you if he found out anything from your past.

“I’ll never ask. You never have to tell me, I -”

“Billy -” you tried to interrupt him, tried to stop that train of thought before he got too carried away, but it was already too late.

“Just tell me how to fix this. I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t think you can fix this.” You told him and your stomach knotted when you saw a flicker of pain on his face.

“So you won’t even let me try?”

“I think it’ll hurt too much if you do.”

Another silence fell and you watched as Billy struggled, obviously fighting with himself, trying not to say the wrong thing and ruin this. You hated seeing him like that; you’d never seen him look so uncertain and unsettled.

“You’re not the only one in pain,” he finally muttered, “what you said, about me being able to turn my emotions off, that - I can’t do that, not with you. Not with us. Not having you in my life hurts too much; I can’t sleep, can’t eat. I keep playing that moment over and over, wishing I’d done things differently...”

“I don’t want to make you feel like that but -”

“I know I fucked up, I know I promised you that I wouldn’t but -” for a second he looked like he was really struggling to get his thoughts in order and force the words from his lips, “- but you don’t know about my past and the shit I’ve been through either. It’s hard for me to trust people.”

You realised that he was right; you didn’t know much about his past, not really, and you’d never really asked. Beyond the snippets that he’d told you about his childhood and his mother, and what little you knew about his relationship with Krista, you never really tried to find out anything about him. Honestly, you’d always just assumed that he was like you, that he wanted to keep his past in the past.

But, looking at him now, maybe that wasn’t the case.

“Maybe that’s why this would never work,” you sighed.

“Don’t say that,” his eyes found yours and he looked at you like it was the only thing he was certain of, “just because this isn’t easy doesn’t mean we should just give up.”

“You did give up, you thought I -”

“I was wrong, and I’m so fucking sorry, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting for you.” He dared to take a step closer to you.

The way he was looking at you caused a shiver to run up your spine. You could see the desperation in his eyes and, a part of you, still wanted nothing more than to reach for him, to just give into the moment. But you had too much self-respect for that. (Or maybe it was fear, maybe you were just scared of taking him back and him hurting you again?)

“You said you loved me,” his voice turned softer and the space between you seemed to shrink even more.

“I shouldn’t have told you like that.”

“You didn’t mean it?” His voice threatened to break.

It would be easy to lie, to say you hadn’t meant a word, but you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt him like that. You stayed silent for a few seconds, letting the question and your indecision hang in the air between you.

“Of course I meant it, I just - I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that,” you sighed heavily, “I was hurting and I said it because I wanted to hurt you back.”

“It did hurt,” he confessed quietly, “but it hurts more knowing that you feel like that and don’t even want to see me.”

“Billy -” you tried, but there were no words. There was nothing that you could tell him to change any of it or make either of you feel better, it felt too late for any of that.

“I can’t let this be over,” he told you, and the silence that followed felt deafening. The air between you seemed to crack with the sort of tension that you wanted nothing more than to ignore and push aside. Despite everything you’d told him, something inside you wanted him to fight for you, wanted him to prove you wrong and show you that he could love you despite what he now thought he knew about your past.

When you didn’t immediately tell him no, when you didn’t tell him that things were over, you allowed him hope that prompted him to move.

Before you knew what he was doing, Billy had cleared the small distance between you, kissing you so suddenly that all you could think to do was respond. You got caught up in the moment, fingers tugging at his hair, pulling him against you. It felt so good, so right to be in his arms again, that you barely noticed him lifting you, sitting you on the cold railing. Your legs parted instinctively, letting him press closer still as the kiss turned hungry and desperate, and you could feel how the moment was already affecting him.

You didn’t even realise that he’d undone his zipper until you felt his cold fingers slide beneath your dress and up your thighs, pulling your panties to the side. Every shred of common sense you possessed told you to stop, to tell Billy to stop, but when you felt his cock start to nudge its way inside you, all you could do was moan against his lips and grip his shoulders as he filled you inch by inch.

Of course, you knew it was wrong to give him any hope that he could repair your relationship - just one more inch, you told yourself, then you’d tell him to stop - but it wasn’t long until every throbbing inch of him was buried inside you. And it felt good. It felt better than it should. Even the ache of your walls stretching to accommodate him after so long without him felt amazing. You’d missed the feeling almost as much as you’d missed him.

“Billy -” you uttered breathlessly against his lips, not getting the chance to say much more before his tongue slipped between your lips again. You let him kiss you, let him slowly draw back his hips before pitching forwards again and drawing another moan from you, your walls slickening around him, coating his cock and letting him move with ease. “Billy,” you tried again, tugging his hair, trying to make him look at you while your pussy continued to tremble as he moved, “Billy, we can’t -”

“Yes we can,” he kept moving, the wet heat of your body betraying you. Your mind wanted to say no, but your body and the way it moved against him said yes. “Tell me you don’t want this.”

He kissed you again and, this time, it was almost enough to break your resolve, the steady thrust of his hips filling you with his cock so deeply that you almost lost your mind. Moaning against his lips, your back arched, legs wrapping around his hips as you took him deeper. Yes, you wanted to moan, fuck me harder.

“Billy, stop -” you managed to gasp, finally coming to your senses.

Billy stopped immediately and you felt his body tense beneath your hands. He didn’t pull out or put you down but, similarly, you didn’t release your hold on him. You could still feel him throbbing, just as unfulfilled as you were.

“Tell me you don’t want this,” he repeated, his forehead pressed against yours, lips lingering so close that every word he spoke caused them to brush against yours. “Tell me you haven’t missed me.”

Of course he wanted to try and talk while he was still inside you and all you could think about was how you were practically dripping all over his cock. It wasn’t fair - it almost made you want him to finish before having the difficult conversation with you, but you knew that if he came inside you, or if he made you come, you’d never be able to turn him away.

“Of course I missed you, Billy,” you sighed, “but you hurt me, and fucking you isn’t going to fix that.”

“Then tell me what is,” he asked in an anguished tone that you’d never heard from him before.

“Put me down.”

Finally, he relented, pulling out and lowering you back to the ground, leaving your body aching and empty, unfulfilled and wanting. He turned from you to fix his clothes and you did the same, waiting for him to turn back, but the moment never came.

“You said you loved me,” his awkward and broken tone said it all, betraying his agony, and your heart sank, knowing that you’d just let things become a hundred times worse.

“I do, but what you did was -”

“You think I don’t know how fucked up it was?” His breath caught uncomfortably and you saw him shudder as his fingers ran through his hair. There was shame in his voice as he continued; “when Frank told me he caught you paying the PI, I felt like I was dying, it hurt so much. I thought you were -”

Another ragged breath escaped him and his hands moved to grip the railing.

“I told you that I couldn’t do this if you didn’t trust me,” you told him, trying to fill the awkward silence.

“I know and I’m so sorry,” his voice turned strained, like he was struggling to speak, and not just because of how upset he was.

You’d seen this before, that night in his bedroom. Panic, anxiety; he was struggling. But, as much as you wanted to reach for him, to hold him until it passed, you knew he wouldn’t want that and that it wouldn’t get you anywhere.

All you knew for certain was that you couldn’t keep doing this.

“Tomorrow at noon, meet me at the coffee shop you took me to the day we met,” you offered as calmly as you could manage. “We can talk then. I can’t promise that things will go back to how they were, but we can at least talk, okay?”

“Really?” He still kept his back to you.

“Really,” you told him, knowing you needed to leave before you dared to reach for him. “I need to go back inside, are you gonna be alright?”

“I’m fine,” he forced the words in one shuddered breath.

“You’re not fine, Billy. And, I think maybe that’s something we need to talk about tomorrow too.” He didn’t answer but you heard him force another breath. “Just... go home and take care of yourself, okay?”

Billy grumbled something that you didn’t quite catch, but you knew you couldn’t stay any longer; for his good and your own. But, still, against your better judgement, you reached for him, softly placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. For a split-second, you were sure that you felt him relax, but the moment you let go, that awkward tension filled his body again.

Between that moment and pulling open the door, you changed your mind about leaving him at least a hundred times, hating leaving him like that, not knowing how long the episode would take to pass or if it would pass at all. But Billy wasn’t the only one who was hurting, and all the pain and emptiness that you’d spent weeks trying to overcome came flooding back, leaving you feeling more broken and miserable than ever.

The door closed behind you, separating you and Billy, and leaving you feeling just as alone as you’d felt after leaving Anvil that day. You froze, torn between going back to Billy and walking away, filled with an aching and a longing that only he could cause, and stuck with a terrible realisation; you still loved him, you were still in love with him, and no amount of pain or heartbreak would ever change that.

“Are you alright?” You didn’t notice Karen at your side until she spoke and you struggled to think of a way to answer her. Her eyes drifted to the door. “Is he out there? What did he say to you? Did he upset you? Do you want me to -”

“No,” you finally managed to force the word, “it’s fine he just - he needs a minute and then he’s gonna leave.”

As shaken as you were by everything that had happened, you didn’t want Karen marching onto the fire escape and making Billy feel worse.

“What did he say to you?” She asked, placing a hand on your elbow and slowly leading you away from the door and towards the bathroom so you could pull yourself together in private.

“He said he wants to fix things and that he’s sorry.”

“Did you tell him about Connecticut?” She asked as the bathroom door swung closed behind you both.

You let out a sigh, leaning against the sink and looking at yourself in the mirror for a moment. It hadn’t even crossed your mind to tell him that you were planning to leave New York and, once Karen had mentioned it, you felt sick. You’d agreed to meet him for coffee tomorrow, you’d given him a reason to hope, and that had been needlessly cruel of you.

“No, I didn’t...” you reluctantly admitted.

“You need to tell him,” Karen told you with an enviable certainty, “I know he hurt you, but it’s not fair to let him think he has a chance to fix things when you’re leaving.”

“I know, I just...” you shook your head, “what if I’m wrong about him? What if leaving is the wrong thing to do?”

“Only you can decide that. Billy is - he’s complicated and I don’t think that’s ever going to change. I can’t tell you what to do, but I know you shouldn’t stay unless you’re certain.”

“You’re right,” though your tone gave away how much you hated it, “I can’t keep expecting him to change for me.” You took a few deep breaths and returned your attention to the mirror, taking a moment to fix your hair. “I guess I should get back out there and try to sell some pictures.”

“Atta girl,” Karen smiled, “you get back to selling and I’ll go see what’s left behind the bar for us.”

When you stepped out of the bathroom, your eyes moved the fire exit for a second, wondering if he was still out there, but you quickly pushed the thought away; you’d see him tomorrow and, this time, you’d tell him that you were leaving and that it was over between you. The thought made your chest ache, but that ache was bearable, unlike the pain he’d caused you.

Forcing a smile to your lips, you started doing the rounds, talking to anyone and everyone who wanted to know about your work, distracting yourself from thoughts of Billy and tomorrow.

Chapter Twenty

END NOTES : I can't say anything because I don't want to spoil anything that's going to happen. But, if anyone is interested, this fic is now about 80k long and there's only (maybe) five chapters left (which is to say I have five planned but whether or not some of those will need breaking up into smaller chapters idk).

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this part and that it caused less emotional whiplash than the last one (sorry again for that). Thanks for reading, and thanks as always for the likes, comments and reblogs. And, if you're new to this story, hello and thanks for giving it a look! <3

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

102 notes · View notes

hungermakesmonsters · 3 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Fifteen

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - some smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing major, just some smuttiness happening in a public place. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.8k

A/N : This is set on new years eve (coming to the surprise of no one, I'm late af with this again)! Thanks as always for all the lovely comments and feedback, and thanks for reading!

Chapter Fifteen

You felt Billy’s eyes on you the moment you entered the party, finding him sitting off to the side with Frank, Karen, with a few of their other friends you remembered from the gala sitting at a neighbouring table. He let you clear about half of the distance between the door and their table before he got to his feet. There was something almost animalistic in the way he stalked towards you, the way he took in the sight of you, and it had you desperately trying to bite back a smile. But Billy wasn’t smiling.

You didn’t even get the chance to say anything before he was on you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you into an eager and demanding kiss, his tongue slipping between your lips. It caught you off guard, left you weak in the knees - until you realised what he was doing.

He was making a spectacle, he was claiming you for everyone to see.

It was something he’d been doing more and more since his birthday. It had been subtle at first, little things that you hardly noticed; Billy holding your hand wherever you went, always finding a way to touch you or be close to you, putting his hand on your lower back and guiding you through stores and restaurants. Then it became more obvious; the way his gaze would darken when he caught other men so much as glancing your way, the way he’d kiss you like he was marking his territory, and the way he’d fuck you the second he got you home just to remind you that you were his.

And you were his, even though you hadn’t said the words yet, you both knew it.

“Billy -” you managed to pull back from the kiss, a hand on his chest gently pushing, creating space between you.

He looked at you, eyes seeming all the darker and filled with that want that you were coming to know all too well. Your hand stayed on his chest with just enough pressure to keep him from leaning to kiss you again. It took him a moment, but he finally got the hint. A second later, your hand was in his and he was leading you towards the table he’d been sitting at with Karen and Frank.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” you smiled at Karen, taking a seat next to Billy. “My last job was a nightmare, then I got stuck on the phone with my brother...”

“It’s okay, you didn’t miss much.” Karen told you.

“Nothing except Billy-boy moping,” Grinned Frank, earning him a kick under the table from Billy.

“Fuck off, Frankie.” Though Billy didn’t glare at Frank for long. His gaze soon moved back to you, drinking in the sight of you, taking in your outfit; a tight, long-sleeved off-the-shoulder dress with a low-cut neckline that showed just enough cleavage to make you feel sexy, and cut high enough above your knees that you knew Billy wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off your legs all night.

He stared at you, and you stared right back. You’d dressed up just for him, just so he’d look at you like that, but you had just as hard a time tearing your eyes from him. Billy had decided to wear the same dark grey suit he’d been wearing the day you’d met and a powder blue shirt and, already, you were thinking about tearing his clothes off.

“Frank, come dance with me.” Suddenly you remembered that Karen and Frank were still there while you were practically eye-fucking Billy, and obviously Karen wanted to give you both some space.

“Right, yeah, we’ll, uh, give you lovebirds some privacy.” Frank joked, getting to his feet and offering Karen his hand.

“Less talking, more fucking off, Frankie.” Billy answered back, barely tearing his eyes from you.

You held back a laugh, but only because of the way Billy was looking at you. Neither of you spoke for a few seconds, allowing Frank and Karen time to move away from you. You just held Billy’s gaze, trying to ignore the anxious pounding of your heart, hating that you couldn’t read his expression, hating that you had no idea what was going through his mind.

“So,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, “what do you think?” Nervousness slipping into your voice. Was your outfit too much? Did he hate it?

“I think every guy in the room is thinking about fucking you.”

“Not every guy,” you tried to lighten the mood, smiling at him. “Frank’s only got eyes for Karen.”

“Not funny.” Was he angry with you? Had you done something to upset him?

“Billy...” your voice so soft that it was almost lost to the noise around you.

“Don’t.”

Fuck. He was angry.

For a moment you looked down at yourself and, before you knew it, you were angry too. Before him you’d never have dared dress like this, you’d never have wanted anyone to look at you the way you wanted him to look at you. You’d spent years hiding yourself, staying in the background, never wanting to be noticed, until he made you want to be seen. He’d made you want to live your life, and now he was pissed that you were.

You glanced towards the door, thinking about leaving, and Billy must have noticed because the next thing you knew, his fingers were wrapped around your wrist.

“Thinking about going somewhere?”

“Home, if this is how you’re going to be all night.” You sighed, not at all surprised when his hold on you tightened. “Why do you even care how anyone looks at me?”

“Because you’re mine.” He answered without hesitation.

There it was again, that declaration that you wouldn’t deny anymore, but still couldn’t quite bring yourself to openly agree with.

“Then why does it matter how anyone else looks at me?” You asked.

“Because they shouldn’t be looking at you.”

You knew what this was, you knew him well enough to realise that this was nothing more than petty, senseless jealousy that he couldn’t quite control. But that didn’t mean you had to like it.

“Am I looking at them?” You asked, trying not to get angry, trying to talk it out with him, so you could settle whatever this was once and for all. Billy didn’t answer, so you asked again; “have you ever caught me looking at another man?” He shook his head, no. “Then why does it matter if they look at me?”

Billy remained silent for a moment, seeming like he was finally taking a second to think about why he was actually bothered instead of just acting on emotion.

“Because -” he let out an irritated huff, his usually composed facade cracking even further, “- because maybe one day you will look, and you’ll see guys who can give you all the things that I can’t, guys who won’t piss you off like I do, and you’ll realise that you’d be better off with anyone but me...”

There was an awkwardness to the confession, something angry but at the same time vulnerable, something that made you wonder just how long he’d been feeling that way - knowing Billy, probably right from the start. You sat with the thought for a moment, absentmindedly turning your hand so your fingers could wrap around his wrist and you could hold him like he was holding you.

“There is no ‘better’ than this for me. This is what I want - you’re what I want.” Your eyes found his and your heart broke at the confusion you found there, like he couldn’t quite understand what you were trying to tell him. “The only person who could make me want to leave you is you, Billy. I don’t want anyone else.”

There was a moment of silence while Billy took a breath and considered everything you’d said, then he offered the slightest of nods.You’d come to learn that this usually meant that he’d said all he wanted to on a matter and he was willing to let an issue drop.

“You look really pretty tonight - you’re beautiful, more than you realise.” He told you, quietly. Then it was your turn to fall silent and let your gaze drop. You’d wanted to look nice for him, but you weren’t sure you’d ever consider yourself beautiful. “Hey,” his hand found your chin, gently urging you to look up as if reading your mind, “I mean it.”

“Thank you, Billy,” you told him softly, leaning towards him and kissing him gently.

His fingers slipped from your wrist finally, and moved to hold your hand, pulling it onto his lap. For a moment his gaze wandered to the crowded dance floor, like he needed some time to regain his composure, and you let him, hoping that at least some of what you’d said had gotten through to him. You knew it was going to take time to convince him that you weren’t going to abandon him at the first sign of struggle, but what you had with him was more than worth awkward little moments like this one.

“I wish you’d let me pick you up tonight,” he finally sighed, turning his attention back to you.

“We never would have made it here if you had,” you smirked, leaning yourself against him, pressing into his side.

“Maybe not, but at least we’d be starting the new year with a bang,” grinning ear to ear at his terrible joke while you rolled your eyes and tried not to laugh. Then, again, he fell silent, his smile turning to something more serious before asking; “you were talking to Sam?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “he’s pissed at me.”

“How come?”

“He thinks I should go stay with him in Connecticut for a while.”

His grip on your hand tightened a fraction.

“Why?” The word seemed to come out sharper than he’d intended but he didn’t do anything to soften it or take it back.

“The other week, I - I told him that things were rough and he suggested that I stay with him for the holidays, but then we sorted things out, and I told Sam I couldn’t go.” You let slip another sigh, resting your head on Billy’s shoulder. “He’s just worried about me.”

“He doesn’t need to worry about you, that’s my job now.” You might have laughed if it wasn’t for the possessive tone in his voice and the way his hand was holding yours.

“Even if I do go, it’ll only be for a week or two, and it’s not like Connecticut is a long way away. It’s only like three hours,” you shrugged. While you’d hoped to put Billy’s mind at ease, you quickly realised that your words had had the opposite effect when he pulled away from you.

“You’re still thinking about going?” His gaze searched your face, though you weren’t sure what he expected to see.

“He’s my brother, I have to see him sometime.”

“He could come to New York.”

“He has a family, Billy. Kids. It’s not like I could ask them all to sleep on the sofa,” you tried to explain with an awkward sort of laugh, hoping that he’d understand, but the discomfort seemed to remain, bubbling just below the surface. “Maybe you could come with me?”

“You want your brother to meet me?”

“I mean, yeah? You’ll have to meet him eventually. I can’t just keep you hidden forever.”

Billy didn’t say anything in response, but you saw that little flicker of hope in his eyes when you dared to utter the word forever. And, with that, he fell silent again.

For a time, you were content to sit there with him, drinking champagne, and letting Billy keep you all to himself, but it wasn’t how you wanted to spend the whole party. You wanted to have fun. You wanted Billy to have some fun. So, you asked him to dance.

Billy didn’t utter a word, he just took hold of your hand and led you over to the dancefloor. You caught a look from Karen that seemed a little concerned, but you simply smiled at her and turned your full attention to Billy, your hands finding his shoulders while his arms looped around your waist. The music turned slow and you quickly fell into rhythm with each other, no space between your bodies, your eyes fixed on his.

“You’ve got no idea how much I want you right now.” He whispered in your ear.

“I think I’ve got some idea,” you smirked, pressing closer to him, feeling his semi-hard cock against your hip. But you decided to play nice, pulling back a little, giving him some space - though he decided to use that space to look at your cleavage.

“You’re not wearing a bra.”

“Less for you to have to take off me later.”

“I can see your nipples.”

He was right, your hard nipples were pressed against the taut fabric of your dress. Normally you’d feel self-conscious, you’d pull your arms across your chest or find a jacket to cover yourself, but you loved the way he was looking at you; like you were the most perfect thing he’d ever seen.

“Must just be cold in here,” it wasn’t, if anything it was too hot but his ego was bad enough that you didn’t want him knowing it was in reaction to him. Your hand slowly moved up his neck, pulling him down so you could kiss him, and Billy eagerly obliged.

“I know what you’re doing,” he smirked when the kiss finally broke.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you played innocent, dramatically fluttering your eyelashes at him.

“I oughta punish you for this, sweetheart. Trying to get me hard in a room full of all my friends.”

“Trying? I think you’ll find I’m succeeding.” You joked, your fingers curling against his neck, letting your nails press against his skin. And, because you felt bold after a few drinks, you decided to ask; “how would you do it? How would you punish me?”

The way he looked at you had you thinking he was about to give a live demonstration, right there, in front of everyone. There was something dangerous about him in that moment, something raw and carnal, something that had your thighs clenching awkwardly as you swayed to the music. An eternity seemed to pass with Billy barely keeping himself in control as he considered all of the things he wanted to do to you until, finally, he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“I’d put you over my knee and spank you until you were crying out my name, then I’d fuck that clever little mouth of yours until you learned to stop teasing me.”

“Fuck, Billy…” you practically moaned. It sounded so good to you, though you didn’t understand why. The thought of being spanked or punished had never even crossed your mind before, but the thought of Billy doing it, the idea of giving him that much control, trusting him that much, was such a turn-on.

“Am I making you wet, sweetheart?” His tongue ran along the shell of your ear and your legs trembled beneath you.

“You know you are,” you admitted.

“How bad do you need me right now?”

“So bad, Billy,” you pressed yourself closer again, sighing at the feel of his erection against your hip. But as much as you wanted him to take you home, you wanted this one normal night out with him. You let out a slow breath to steady yourself. “We’re going to stay a few more hours, have some drinks and celebrate the new year with your friends, then I’m going to keep you up all night, making you moan my name.”

“Or,” Billy countered with a wicked grin, “we could leave now and I could fuck you in the parking lot before taking you back to mine and spending the rest of the night inside you?”

You gave him a playful shove and took a step back.

“Go talk to your friends and have fun, I’m gonna get a drink and see Karen.” He looked ready to disagree, but you silenced him before he could start. “You’re gonna have me all night after this, Billy. I promise.”

“Fine, but if I catch anyone so much as looking at you -”

“You’ll remember it doesn’t matter who else looks because you’re the only one I want.”

He took a breath and bit back whatever comment he wanted to make and nodded. You smiled at him before turning away and heading towards Karen at the bar, every step you could feel Billy’s eyes on you and it made you feel sexy, powerful.

Karen grinned as she saw you approaching, glancing over at Billy making his way to join Frank at your table again. You’d barely reached her side before she started talking.

“Okay, what the fuck have you done to Billy?” She asked, looking at you with amused disbelief.

“What? Nothing. I -”

“Bullshit. I’ve never seen Billy Russo look so smitten. He can’t take his eyes off you and Frank says he’s had his head up his own ass since the two of you got together.”

You didn’t know what to say to any of it. Billy was - well, smitten wasn’t the word you’d use for it. Intense, maybe, possessive, definitely, but not smitten. But, then, it wasn’t like you spent that much time around his friends, and you had no idea what Billy told them about you or your relationship.

“It’s complicated. He’s complicated,” you sighed, leaning against the bar. “He’s amazing but he still kinda pisses me off sometimes.”

“That sounds like Billy,” she laughed. “Are you two alright? He seemed a little... upset earlier.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine, he’s just - I don’t know, things are getting more serious and I think he’s struggling with some of it. It’s complicated.”

“How complicated could it be?”

“How long have you got?” You laughed. “He’s just - I don’t know, I think he’s a lot more vulnerable than he lets on, and I think being with me and being exclusive has been a big adjustment.”

“That tracks,” Karen nodded, “aside from the-bitch-we-will-not-name, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else last more than a month with him. But it’s good - I think you’ve been good for him.”

“I’m not so sure about that; he keeps getting possessive and trying to pick fights over weird little things. But - but he’s working on it, and I -” you shrugged, not really sure what else you could tell her. “I don’t know, when it’s just the two of us, he can be so sweet and gentle.”

“Sorry,” Karen tried to force down a laugh, “are we talking about the same Billy Russo here?”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh of your own, knowing how ridiculous it probably sounded. “He is though, he’s kind of amazing when he’s not trying to act like - well, Billy.”

“Oh wow, you really like him, don’t you?”

While she said like you had a feeling she meant more than that. And the way you fell silent seemed to say more than words ever could.

“Oh my god, you’re in love with him.” Her voice louder than you would have liked, causing you to glance around the room, hoping that no one had overheard, and that Billy was still sitting with Frank on the other side of the room. Thankfully he was, and he looked like he was too busy listening to whatever Frank was saying to pay you any mind. “You haven’t told him?”

“No. Like I said, it’s complicated,” you turned towards the bar, flagging down the bartender and ordering yourself a drink. Karen fell silent, but only for the amount of time it took for you to get another glass of champagne.

“How complicated could it be? You love him and he obviously -”

“He doesn’t,” because he didn’t, did he? Billy was a lot of things, but you couldn’t imagine him loving you. “Billy doesn’t do love. Whatever he feels for me, it’s not that.”

“How do you know if you haven’t even told him how you feel?”

“He told me,” you shrugged, “right from the start, he told me that he’s not interested in love.”

“Bullshit. I’ve only known Billy a couple of years, but I’ve seen the other women he’s had around, and I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you.”

“Who’s been looking at you?” Billy’s voice sounded over your shoulder so suddenly that you damn near jumped out of your skin.

“Speak of the devil,” Karen rolled her eyes and tried her damnedest to force back a smile.

“Oh, you’ve got no idea how right you are,” Billy grinned. “I think Frank’s looking for you.”

You both knew that Frank wasn’t looking for Karen, but you were at least glad that he was trying to be subtle about getting rid of her. Karen gave you a knowing sort of look before shifting to something more sympathetic, but she didn’t say another word before walking away.

“You lasted all of five minutes without me,” you sighed, reaching for your drink. “You’re supposed to be having fun tonight.”

“Yeah, well, talking to Frankie wasn’t exactly fun.”

“You looked pretty serious…”

“‘cause we were talking about you.”

“What about me?”

“Just about how I shouldn’t fuck things up with you and how he thinks I should think about settling down.” Billy shrugged.

“And what do you think?” You dared to ask even though you weren’t sure you wanted the answer after everything you’d just told Karen. If he couldn’t love you, he couldn’t settle down with you, and you weren’t ready to confront that fact with him yet.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, “and maybe that’s not fair on you…”

“What do you mean?” Though you already had an inkling where the conversation was going if your earlier conversation was anything to go by.

“It’s not fair on you that I can’t promise you a future, that I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

He was right, you supposed, maybe it wasn’t fair - but when had life ever been fair for either of you? You didn’t even know what sort of future you wanted, what sort of future you were capable of having. Billy wasn’t the only one who was fucked up, and you didn’t know what you were doing either.

In the silence he’d looked away from you, leaning on the bar and fixing his eyes on the row of bottles on the other side. He looked defeated, he looked like he’d already decided what your answer would be, and you couldn’t stand it.

“Billy, I don’t need you to promise me a future, I don’t need some picture perfect life planned out with you.” You reached for his hand, squeezing it tight. “All I want - all I need - is what we have now. I don’t know what I’m doing either and what we have terrifies me, but I know I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to give you up just because I might not get some fairytale ending.”

“It’s what you deserve though,” his eyes found yours and your heart ached at the way he was looking at you. “You deserve the whole fucking world.”

“What I deserve is someone who holds me tight and makes me feel safe, and that’s you, Billy. You’re the only one who’s ever made me feel safe.”

All he could do was stare at you, brow creased with a frown, trying to read between the lines and figure out all the things you still hadn’t told him.

“Who hurt you?” He asked softly, his hand moving to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch, covering his hand with your own.

“It doesn’t matter -”

“It does. I want to kill him. Just say the word and I’ll -”

“Billy, it doesn’t matter, because I know no one will ever hurt me again while I’m with you.” You told him, squeezing the hand against your cheek, practically pleading with him to just drop it.

“But I hurt you.”

“Never in a way you can’t take back, and never in a way that scares me.” You smiled at him softly. “You piss me off sometimes - you piss me off so much - but when you hurt me, I know you’re only doing it because you’re hurting too.” You pressed a hand to his chest, right above his pounding heart.

“I don’t want to hurt you at all...”

“I know you don’t and, in time, we can figure it out. But, right now, I just want you to hold me and dance with me. Everything else can wait.”

He nodded and let you lead him back onto the dancefloor, wrapping his arms tight around you like he never wanted to let go. You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat over the music, and lost track of time. Until, eventually you made your way back to the table, wanting to rest your feet while you waited for the new year’s countdown to begin.

“It’s almost midnight,” you told him, leaning in and pressing your lips to his without thinking about it. You didn’t expect Billy to tense, and you quickly pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry,” he was quick to utter, “I just...” he took a slow breath that seemed to say more than words could. “Poor impulse control,” Billy shrugged, even though he knew how much you hated him using those words, “if I start kissing you, I’m going to want to touch you and, if I touch you -”

Your eyes were on his, so you didn’t notice his hand moving until it was on your bare thigh, just beneath your dress.

“Maybe I want you to touch me,” you muttered, turning slightly and parting your legs a little.

Billy took a slow breath, trying to smother the fire that you’d stoked in him, but you decided that you weren’t going to let him. You wanted to kiss him, you wanted him to kiss you and to stop acting like you couldn’t handle his desires. (And, yes, you supposed the alcohol was playing a part too.) Leaning forward again, you kissed him, fingers tangling in his hair, holding him in place. It wasn’t long before he was hungrily returning the kiss, his hand slipping further up your dress.

You kept kissing him, not wanting him to stop, and when his fingers finally reached your panties, you moaned against his lips. Fingertips ghosted the wet fabric before slipping beneath and you tried to part your legs further for him, hoping that the darkness of the room and the table were hiding what you were doing from everyone else at the party.

“Is this what you want, sweetheart?” he asked against your lips, his fingers starting to strum against your clit. You took his lip between your own, sucking and nibbling, letting out another gentle moan for him.

“More,” you finally begged, “I wanna start the new year by coming on your fingers.”

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol, some desire to prove to Billy that you only wanted him, or just because you felt safe enough with him to do it, but you wanted him to keep touching you. You wanted him to know that when you were with him, you felt safe, you felt alive.

Billy swore under his breath but wasted no time in sliding two of his fingers into the wet heat of your body. The moan that left you was swallowed by the music and Billy looked like a man possessed, knowing he only had a couple of minutes left to make you come, but he seemed to like the challenge.

“Billy -” you moaned as his fingers curled. You loved that he knew just how to touch you, that he’d learned you inside and out. There was a roughness to the way his fingers moved, to the way he fucked you with them. You’d never thought about doing something like this in public before, but with Billy you wanted it, you wanted him to know that you weren’t afraid of his desires.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you look so perfect right now, so desperate to come for me.” He smiled, looking at you like he wanted so much more.

The countdown soon started and more moans spilled from you, but it was too loud for anyone but Billy to hear the noises you were making. When the countdown hit one, he pulled you into a fierce kiss and you came on his fingers, softly crying out against his lips. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding him tight as his fingers finally slowed and withdrew from your body.

“Happy new year, sweetheart. I can’t wait to get you home,” he all but growled in your ear and, already, you knew that it was going to be a very long night...

Chapter Sixteen

END NOTES : I don't have much to say on this one, I was just enjoying playing around with how the dynamic of their relationship has started to evolved now that they're getting serious about each other. And, yes, next chapter will follow directly on from this one (sorry, it's probably going to be smut heavy again lmao)

Also I've now hit 96 followers and, I know I say this a lot, but I'm so shocked and amazed. Thank you all so much for reading and commenting, it really does make my day!

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 3 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Sixteen

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R - smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] There's some light spanking and recording of smuttiness (all with enthusiastic consent) . Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~3.8k

A/N : Set straight after the last one -- I think we all saw where this was going. ALSO I HIT 100 FOLLOWERS. I'm speechless, thanks so much for the follows and for reading this every week, it means so much to me!

Chapter Sixteen

While you were both eager to get home, you and Billy managed to last another hour, spending your time drinking, dancing and sitting with Frank and Karen. The change in Billy was so apparent that you even caught Frank giving him strange looks. It seemed like a weight had been lifted from him, like he finally felt as safe with you as you felt with him. And, by the time you made your excuses to leave, you were more than ready to get him all to yourself.

Neither of you really spoke on the taxi ride home, you were content to just snuggle up against him, trying to keep warm. And Billy was quick to usher you through his buildings foyer and into the elevator once you were inside. Then everything seemed to explode.

His lips were on yours before the elevator doors had even fully opened, his hands on your hips, pulling and guiding you into the penthouse, both of you shrugging off your coats. By the time the doors slid shut, he had you pressed back against the wall, no space between your bodies, leaving you with no doubt about how much he wanted you. If you’d let him Billy would have happily fucked you right then and there, as he had on countless other occasions, and part of you did want to let him. But you wanted more than that tonight. It had been such a good night after the initial discomfort of your argument, and you wanted the good feelings to last as long as possible.

Eventually, you broke the kiss, giving him a light, playful shove before grabbing a fistful of his shirt near the collar and pulling him into the apartment, towards the sofa. Billy let you pull him around, a grin on his lips as you pushed him down onto the sofa and straddled his lap. His hands found your hips, but he let you have your little moment of control because you both knew that, sooner or later, he was going to take charge.

Your fingers started to pull at the buttons of his shirt, one by one, slowly revealing the hot skin beneath. Your hips rocked slowly, lips finding his neck, kissing and sucking skin and slowly heading down as more buttons came undone. When your cold hands ran down his chest, Billy squirmed, letting out an awkward huff of laughter. And, when your eyes finally caught his again, and you could see how he was looking at you, you knew just how much he wanted you.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” you told him as your fingers started to pull his belt and pants open.

“Fun’s only just starting, sweetheart,” Billy smiled, his fingers ghosting your cheek before slipping into your hair and pulling you down, into a deep and eager kiss.

Cold fingers freed his erection as you kissed, earning a hiss and a groan as you started to stroke him, loving how quickly he responded to your touch. Billy pulled you closer, kissed you harder, saying those familiar words without saying a thing; I want you, you’re mine. And you were. In that moment you were nothing but Billy’s.

A wicked thought occurred and your lips pulled into a smirk against his before moving to whisper in his ear; “I thought you said I deserved a spanking?”

The fingers in your hair gave a tug, pulling you back so he could look at you, and the look on his face had you biting your lip. His dark eyes were filled with a wanting that should’ve terrified you but, instead, you wanted to sate it, you wanted to fulfil his every desire, no matter how dark.

Your fingers continued to stroke him, never faltering as you held his gaze, defiant and unafraid. You wanted him to see that you weren’t scared of him, you weren’t afraid of the ways he wanted you.

Billy took a slow breath before releasing his grip on your hair and commanding; “stand up.”

You did as you were told without hesitation, climbing from his lap and standing in front of him.

“Take off your dress.” He commanded and you obeyed, pulling the off-the-shoulder number down and letting it fall to the floor, exposing your bare breasts and a pair of blue lace panties. When your hands moved to your panties, he stopped you; “leave the panties... and your heels.”

Your cheeks warmed as you dared to look down at yourself, not noticing that Billy’s eyes also moved down your body, taking in the sight of you. Then he sat forward a little, patting his lap, silently telling you what you needed to do. You crawled over his lap without question.

Then came an odd stillness; he was waiting for you to change your mind, you realised. No chance. You glanced over your shoulder at him, smiling as you started to provocatively wiggle your ass from side to side until he finally touched you. Heat from his hand bled through the lace of your panties to your skin, but Billy didn’t waste any time before slipping between your thighs.

“Fuck, sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me you were so wet?” His fingers found your swollen clit beneath the wet fabric and started to tease, running circles around it, causing you to completely soak through your panties.

“Billy,” you moaned, “please…”

You weren’t sure what you were begging for, but Billy seemed to know.

“All this ‘cause you want a spanking?” You nodded and he grinned. “It’s supposed to be a punishment, not a turn-on.”

“So punish me then,” you challenged.

If he had a clever answer for that, he kept it to himself in favour of swinging back his hand and landing the first sharp slap on your ass. A shocked cry slipped from your lips, but the look on your face told him everything he needed to know; you didn’t want him to stop.

By the time you felt the fourth slap, your cries had turned to moans, but you knew he was holding back, that he was being as gentle as he could be, and that was fine. You realised that it wasn’t so much the act that had you crying out his name, it was the fact that you trusted him, completely and utterly. And it felt good to give up control, to allow yourself to just feel without overthinking and worrying.

You were safe with Billy.

When he stopped, he left you with a wonderful kind of ache, his hand slipping beneath lace to tenderly soothe you. Overwhelmed by him, by the moment, you could barely lift your head to look at him, but you heard his name spill from your lips.

You barely noticed his hands tearing your panties, all you could think about was the delicate way he was touching you.

“Fuck, sweetheart, if I’d known you were into this I would’ve had you over my knee a long time ago,” he muttered as his hand slipped between your thighs again, fingers running through your arousal. You trembled as his fingertips grazed your wet slit, giving away just how close to coming you had been while he was spanking you. Billy didn’t hesitate, sinking two fingers into you with ease and slowly starting to fuck you with them, filling you to the knuckle with every thrust. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m going to take good care of you and this needy little pussy.”

“Please, Billy...” You moaned, back arching.

“No one else is ever gonna make you feel as good as I do,” he told you in that barely restrained tone that sent a thrill up your spine, “because you’re mine.”

“Yes,” you moaned as his fingers bent inside you and his thumb grazed your clit, “I’m yours, Billy.” The admission seemed to come from nowhere, but you didn’t notice and, frankly, you didn’t care. You were too drunk on the moment to think about anything other than Billy.

“Yeah, you are,” he practically cooed, obviously enjoying the more needy, submissive side of you, “this sweet little pussy is all mine now.”

“All yours,” you mewled as his fingertips hit just the right spot.

No one had ever made you feel like this before. You felt so good, so his, as he continued to fuck you with his fingers. Moans started to stack, and your eyes rolled back the closer you got to falling apart. You hardly noticed his fingers in your hair again until they gave a gentle tug, urging you to look back at him. A possessive noise slipped from him when he saw your face, so intoxicated by him and what he was doing to you.

“You really are mine now, aren’t you?” As if he hadn’t really believed it until that moment.

“Yes, Billy,” you moaned, finally realising what you were saying, what you were admitting. “I’m all yours.”

His thumb pressed against your clit again causing you to writhe on his lap, so unashamedly desperate for everything he was doing to you, your moans getting louder as his fingers moved faster, finally pushing you over the edge.

As you came, his fingers kept moving, dragging your pleasure out for as long as he could, holding your gaze as you moaned his name, over and over. Finally, you sagged, feeling boneless, half on the sofa, half still draped across his lap. His fingers stayed inside you while his other hand slipped from your hair and returned to gently soothing the redness on your ass.

Billy watched as your breathing started to slow, remaining silent, giving you time to process everything that had just happened and all the little admissions you’d let slip. When you finally had the strength to move, he let his arousal slickened fingers slide from your body and lifted them to his lips, sucking every last trace of them from you while you sat up.

“I love the way you taste,” he smirked, licking his lips in a way that made your pulse race.

You leaned in to kiss him, to taste for yourself, sucking his tongue before deciding there was something else you’d rather do with your mouth.

His dark gaze held yours as you slipped between his legs and knelt on the floor before him. Your hand reached for his cock, giving his shaft a couple of lazy strokes before parting your lips and leaning in. You took just the tip at first, tongue greedily lapping up the pre-cum that had started to leak from him.

Billy moaned your name, his fingers tangling in your hair again and pressing down. You didn’t hesitate, giving him exactly what he wanted, your lips sinking down his length.

“Your mouth feels so fucking good,” he groaned, “I love when you blow me.”

You loved it too. You never felt more powerful than you did in moments like this, moments where you got to bring him pleasure.

Guided by the push and pull of his hand, your head started to bob, dragging your lips up and down him and, after you’d had a chance to relax, you managed to sink right down, taking every inch of him. He held you there for a few seconds, his eyes fixed on yours, holding your attention while his free hand reached for his phone. You didn’t even notice it until the camera was pointed at you and he looked at you like he was asking permission and, when you didn’t stop, didn’t try to pull away, he had his answer.

You didn’t know if he was recording or taking photos but your eyes stayed fixed on his, wanting him to know that he was the only thing that mattered to you. Soon enough you were moaning around his cock, taking every inch, over and over, while his grip on your hair guided you up and down, completely taking control, taking what he wanted from you. And you were happy to let him, wanting to give him the same mind blowing pleasure he’d just given you.

Every breath he took was soon punctuated with a moan, with your name, a plea that only you could drag from him. When you felt him getting close, you reached between his legs, fingers lightly squeezing his balls and earning a guttural moan from him that had your thighs clenching.

A grunt was all the warning you got before he fell apart, spilling onto your greedy tongue. Your lips stayed wrapped around him, listening as he groaned and swore, not pulling back until he was completely finished. And, as his cock slipped from your lips, you made a point of licking your lips for the camera.

It took a few moments to finally kick off your heels and climb back onto his lap, resting your head against his shoulder as he caught his breath. Billy’s arm pulled around you, holding you tight, but neither of you spoke for a couple of minutes, both content to just hold each other.

“You okay?” He finally asked, his hand starting to trail up and down your back.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You muttered, shifting your head on his shoulder so you could see his face.

“Well, that was a lot of firsts for us and...” it only lasted a second, but his hesitation had your stomach knotting, “I know I can be a lot and that I sometimes want a lot, and I don’t -”

“Billy,” you stopped him the moment you realised what he was trying to say, “if you’ve got poor impulse control, then so do I, because I wanted all of this just as much as you.” You lifted your head so you could look at him, so he could see how serious you are. “Tonight has been - it’s been amazing.”

The sigh of relief that escaped him was almost enough to break you.

“Tonight was easily the best night of my life,” he told you, his lips pulling into a beautiful but cocky smile, “and I’ve got the video evidence to prove it.”

Your cheeks immediately started to warm. “You won’t show anyone, will you?”

“Sweetheart, the only one that gets to enjoy you sucking my cock is me.” And you believed him, you believed that possessive tone in his voice. “Is it okay? I mean, me recording you? I can delete it -”

“It’s okay,” you told him, voice turning quiet, almost shy despite everything you’d just done, “I - I liked it. It made me feel... I dunno, dangerous.”

“You’re never in any danger when you’re with me.” And for the first time in your life, you really did feel safe, but you didn’t know how to put any of it into words beyond what you’d told him earlier but you never felt safer than when you were in his arms. “You know that, right? That I’d never let anyone hurt you -- that’d I’d kill anyone that ever tried.” A shudder ran up your spine at the way he said it, like the prospect of taking a life meant nothing to him if it was to keep you safe. And, as terrifying as the thought was, it only made you love him more.

“I know, it’s just...”

“What?”

“This - us - it’s still all so new, and I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong.” Your gaze dropped, but Billy didn’t let you look away for long, his hands finding your cheeks and urging you to look at him again. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“There’s nothing you could do that would make me leave you,” his dark eyes stared directly into yours as he spoke and there was a pain there, something you didn’t recognise but immediately wanted to soothe. “Every time you’ve walked away from me, I’ve felt so fucking empty - the kind of empty that I can’t fill with money or expensive things, the kind of empty that hurts so fucking much. It scares me how much I want you. I never wanted anyone ‘til I met you.”

“No one?” You finally dared ask the question that had been burning in your mind since this whole thing had started. Of course, you knew that there had been plenty of other women, but you didn’t know how much he’d felt for them. Billy shook his head.

“I never thought I wanted to get attached - I always thought it was just easier to be on my own, to have people just see me as a playboy and never let anyone really get to know me,” his fingers tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “but then you happened, sweetheart.”

The words caused a swell of warmth in your chest, something that made you want to hold him tight and never let him go.

“So, with the others... it wasn’t like us? You didn’t - y’know...”

“Spank any of them until they were almost coming all over my lap?” He asked with that infuriatingly amused smile on his lips. “Make them moan my name in a crowded party?” Your cheeks felt warm again and you wondered how he could manage to keep a serious tone. “No, sweetheart, what we have - it’s never been like that with anyone else. Have you -”

“No,” you answered quickly. Too quickly. “Everything feels brand new with you, like the past doesn’t matter, and that’s all I want.”

Before he could answer, before he could even think to ask what you meant, your lips were on his again, pressing him back against the sofa. You didn’t want to think about the past, just the present and the future that you might have with Billy. Things quickly turned heated, and Billy was soon pulling you close and holding you tight, groaning as your hips started to move again. It wasn’t long before you felt his cock, hard and ready between your thighs.

“Fuck, Billy, I love how hard you get for me,” you panted when the kiss finally broke, needily grinding against his cock..

His lips quickly started to trail downwards, wet kisses and the scrape of teeth on skin, down your neck and collar bone. You back arched instinctively the further down he roamed, offering your breasts to him and, as expected, Billy gladly accepted. Reaching for his phone, you opened the camera as his lips sealed around a nipple, and started to record him. There was a strange feeling of power to it, something that made you feel sexy in a way you didn’t often get to feel, recording yourself writhing on his lap while he sucked and nipped at your nipple.

Billy didn’t realise that you were recording him until you awkwardly reached between your bodies to steady his cock enough to sink down onto it. He moaned, lips pulling away from your chest as you took every inch of him. The grin that pulled at his lips when he noticed his phone in your hand had your heart racing, and when his hands moved to grip your hips, you knew that he was going to put on a good show for the camera.

“You feel so fucking good,” he grunted, “my sweet little pussy, so tight and wet for me.”

Your body clenched around him, knowing that everything he said, every sound you made, would all end up in the recording.

“I’m yours, Billy. This sweet little pussy is just for you.” You panted, riding him harder and faster, directed by his hands on your hips, moaning every time he drove his cock into you. His lips returned to your nipples while his fingers found your swollen clit, and it quickly became overwhelming, every moan and cry louder than the last. Everything went white as you shattered around him, crying out his name as you fell apart so completely. You didn’t even realise you were being moved until your back was pressed down onto the sofa and Billy’s body covered yours, his phone hanging loosely from your hand at your side, now only capturing the sounds you were both making.

He fucked you hard and deep, laying claim to you, reminding you that you were his, even though you didn’t need the reminder.

“Harder,” you heard a voice groan. It wouldn’t be until a lot later that you realised it was you. Other pleas fell from your lips and he granted your every demand, fucking you in a way that you knew had ruined you for other men.

Billy managed to pull another orgasm from you before his own hit, leaving you a trembling mess beneath him as he emptied himself inside you, each twitch drawing another moan from you. He practically collapsed on top of you, and your hands moved to his back, gently caressing sweat slicked skin while you both struggled to catch your breath.

“Fuck...” he muttered, his face buried against your neck. “I never want to get used to how good that feels.”

You didn’t have a response for him, you didn’t have anything to say - you’d both already said so much that you didn’t think you needed to say anything. Instead you closed your eyes and listened to the sounds of him breathing, knowing without a doubt that you were in love with him and that you were the happiest you’d ever been.

“Billy,” you finally muttered, exhausted, “take me to bed?”

And he did just that, quickly scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to the bedroom, tenderly placing you in bed before crawling in beside you and gathering you up in his arms. A contented sigh left him as he pressed his lips to the top of your head.

He held you tight - he always held you tight as you fell asleep, but this time it felt different, it felt like he was clinging to you, like he didn’t want to let go.

“Billy, if you hold me any tighter I won’t be able to breathe,” you muttered with a sleepy laugh.

“You don’t need to breathe,” he answered back, sounding exhausted, “you just need me.”

“Think I need you more than air,” you confessed quietly, your hand finding his pressed against your stomach.

“Good.” The word hung in the air between you for a few seconds. “Don’t ever leave me, okay? I don’t ever want to not have you in my life.”

Your hand squeezed his while your heart pounded in your chest; he wasn’t saying the words, wasn’t telling you that he loved you but, for Billy, it felt close, it felt like maybe he could feel that way after all.

“I’m not going anywhere.” A ragged breath shook his body and you gave his hand another gentle but reassuring squeeze. “I’m yours, Billy.”

“Yeah, you’re mine.” Billy muttered softly, finally falling silent and allowing you to drift off to sleep.

Chapter Seventeen

END NOTES : Well, it took sixteen chapters and she's finally admitted to really having feelings for him to his face. The next chapter is going to be similar to this one (sort of smutty but some character/relationship development thrown in) and it'll be up same time next week.

Again (and always) thanks for the comments, reblogs, likes, follows -- and even if you don't do those things and you just read, thanks anyway.

I know I'm not the greatest at remembering to respond to things but, honestly, thank you. I never thought I'd get to 100 followers or have even half as many people reading this fic when I started.

TAG LIST

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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hungermakesmonsters · 4 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Ten

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : R for smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Just the usual smutty behaviour, some of it happening in a public place. There's also a very brief mention of a car crash but no details are given. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.7k

A/N : Billy is finally getting to take reader for dinner! So, yeah, that's kind of it. This is roughly the halfway point of the story, so thanks to everyone who's been reading and stuck with it this far, and thank you for all the lovely comments and feedback!! Also, OMG I hit 50 followers - I genuinely did not expect that to happen, thank you all so much!! 🥰

Chapter Ten

You weren’t sure what to expect when Billy picked you up for dinner, but it certainly wasn’t a Rolls Royce (a Wraith to be more precise, as Billy enjoyed explaining to you when he caught you staring at the car). At least it wasn’t a bright red Ferrari, you supposed, but you couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable once you were sitting in the passenger seat. It was so expensive and perfectly cared for that you were scared you might do something to ruin it, like you weren’t even worthy of sitting in it.

Billy explained that it had been another impulse purchase, another big ticket item just because he could, because as a boy he’d always wanted a fancy car. Another expensive thing just to try and fill a void. You wondered how empty he must feel to need so many expensive and shiny things, but you didn’t dare ask.

In fact, you remained mostly quiet on the way to the restaurant, not wanting to distract Billy while he was driving.

It wasn’t far, less than twenty minutes. He hadn’t told you where you were going, but once you saw the restaurant, you found yourself nervously playing with your sleeves. You’d never eaten there before, but you knew it by reputation; one of the best Italian restaurants in the state, and you had a good idea just how much it cost to eat there. Suddenly you felt underdressed in your black dress, suddenly you found yourself wishing he had taken you to Pizza Hut.

Parking at the back of the parking lot, Billy killed the engine and, for a few seconds, you were too caught up in your own thoughts to realise that he wasn’t moving.

His hands were still on the steering wheel, gripping it tight. It was something you were getting used to seeing; moments like this where Billy seemed to be fighting against himself, trying to hold himself back. You wondered if he was always like that, or if it was something he did because of you, because he was trying not to scare you. In the time you’d known him, you’d come to realise that Billy was a man of action, that he liked to do things without thinking and he didn't like to hold back when it came to certain urges - he’d called it poor impulse control, Krista had called it hypersexuality. You didn’t know what it was, but you liked to think he felt the same desperate neediness you felt whenever you were together.

“Billy,” you muttered softly, drawing his attention to you.

Your breath caught as he looked at you, his dark eyes flickering with a barely contained desire that had you wanting to crawl onto his lap. Clenching your thighs together, you tried not to think about all the things he could do to you, all the things you wanted him to do.

“We should go eat,” he finally managed, forcing an uneasy smile to his lips before getting out of the car. Before you could fully climb out of the Wraith, Billy was at your side, his hand extended to you. Of course, you took it and let him lead you into the restaurant, all the while smoothing down your dress, wanting to make sure you looked presentable enough to be seen with him. If Billy noticed, he managed to keep it to himself, he just gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as he opened the door for you.

You stayed quiet as you were led to a table - that Billy had somehow managed to reserve yesterday, despite how exclusive the restaurant was. His hand left yours so he could pull out your chair for you and, still, you didn’t speak. You didn’t know what to say about any of it.

When the menu was placed in front of you, you really started to feel uncomfortable; there were no prices listed but, judging from the sort of things on offer, none of it was within your price range.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, though it was clear from the look on his face that he had some idea what was going through your mind.

“Nothing, it’s just -” you gave an awkward sigh, “- this place is really fancy...”

“Order whatever you want, I’m paying.”

“Billy -”

“I know, I know, you don’t want my money, and I promise I’m not trying to buy you. I just really like eating here and I think, if you give it a chance, you’ll like it too.” His shoulder ticked. “Besides I can either spend my money having a good time with you, or I can waste it on something dumb.”

You managed a laugh at that and, despite how awkward it made you feel, Billy probably had a point; he had enough money that he probably wouldn’t ever miss what he spent tonight, and you could at least try to make sure that he wouldn’t be left feeling empty at the end of it. You relented with a sigh and a nod, dropping your eyes back to the menu, though you still tried to think about what would be cheapest.

In the end you settled on pasta, while Billy ordered steak. Without much in the way of conversation, he also took it upon himself to order a antipasto platter for the two of you to share - which, you might have briefly felt uncomfortable about, but seeing the way he lit up when the food started arrive seemed to reinforce his point that he liked eating there, and you didn’t want to do anything that might ruin that for him.

And, you had to admit, the food was very nice. So much so that you were content to eat in relative silence for a little while. From time to time, Billy would ask you what you thought of the food and if you the wine that he’d ordered was alright - and it was, you could already understand why the restaurant was so raved about - but there was something almost shy about the way he was being. And shy wasn’t a word you thought you’d ever use to describe Billy.

It wasn’t until your main course arrived that you really started to notice, wondering if Billy just preferred quiet when he was eating, or if it was you. But, regardless of his silence, every time you happened to look up from your food, you’d find Billy staring at you. The first couple of times, he’d smile before returning his attention to his steak

But, finally, you had to ask; “what?”

“What?” He responded, looking up from his plate.

“You keep looking at me like - like that.”

“Like what?” Still confused, though he managed to give a little huff of laughter.

“Like you’re barely holding yourself back.”

“From what?” He asked, shifting in his seat, sitting a little straighter and leaning back in his chair, like he thought the extra inch of space it created between you could save him. You could tell just by looking at him that there was something he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. Was what he was thinking really that bad or did he just think you didn’t want to hear it? (Did he think you couldn’t handle it?)

You decided to lean forward, destroying the distance he’d tried to create. If you were going to do this, you needed Billy to understand that he needed to talk, otherwise you’d overthink every little thing until you tore it all apart.

“Like there’s something you want but you’re fighting against it?” You tried to explain. “I saw it in the car earlier, and the night of the gala; you get this look like you need to do something but you’re scared to do it.” You watched his face, taking in every little flicker of discomfort as his eyes searched your face, trying to figure out just how much you could handle.

“I told you, I have poor impulse control,” his shoulder ticked upwards, “I’m trying to work on it, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Who told you that - that you have poor impulse control?” You asked, but Billy didn’t need to answer, you already had a pretty good idea. The flash of unease on his face said it all; Krista. Your expression instantly softened, and your heart ached for him. “Billy, I’m not worried and I don’t need you to protect me from you. You don’t need to hold back when you’re with me. If you’re scared something might be too much you can just ask.”

“Sweetheart,” he started softly, a warm smile on his lips, “if I didn’t hold back, we’d never leave my bed.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad to me,” you joked and Billy’s gaze seemed to darken with want again.

As much as you wanted to get to the bottom of it, you knew that it wasn’t something you could figure out in one night. Clearly there were bigger issues at play and, in a restaurant, on your first date probably wasn’t the best place to have this sort of conversation.

Your attention returned to your food for a minute or so before you looked up again, catching him staring again.

“Did you sort the thing at Anvil yesterday?” You decided to ask. “The security problem?”

“Not yet,” he answered and fell silent again, attention returning to his dinner. But, after a few seconds, he seemed to realise that you genuinely wanted to talk to him and that his being silent wasn’t conducive to a good dinner date. “I think Frank’s just blowing things out of proportion, it’s probably nothing to worry about,” he shrugged, “we get people poking around a lot, it’s just the nature of the business.”

“Oh, well that’s good, I guess?” You smiled, wanting to show that you appreciated the effort he was making.

“How was your day?”

“It was okay. Work was kinda crazy, but things always start to get insane this time of year,” you shrugged, chewing your lip and thinking for a moment before adding; “but I, uh, got some good news?”

“What kind of good news?” He set his cutlery down and reached for his wine glass, attention completely on you.

“Well, I know this guy who runs a little gallery in Queens, he told me he’s got an opening in the new year and asked if I wanted to put on a show.” It made you nervous seeing the way that Billy practically lit up at the news. “I mean, I don’t know if I’ve got anything worth showing at the moment, but it was nice he asked...”

“You should do it, I’d love to come see some of your work.”

“I’ll be sure to put you on the guestlist,” you laughed despite the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach; the new year was months away and you weren't sure Billy would even still be in your life then. (But seeing him smile at you made you want to hope that he would be.)

“Do you make any money from your shows?”

“Some, but not a lot; mostly just from the door but sometimes people buy things.”

“How much is some? Ballpark figure?”

“Ballpark figure?” You laughed. “You’re such a businessman.”

Bill let out a laugh of his own, shaking his head.

“Sorry, force of habit. It’s hard to switch it off sometimes.”

“Well, I guess some people probably find it incredibly sexy.” You smiled, watching the smirk grow on his lips.

“Oh, some people, eh?”

“Yeah, y’know, the kind of people who get all hot and bothered over men in expensive suits who drive fancy cars and know how to get what they want?” You leaned forward a little more, trying you best to sound seductive, despite the ridiculous grin on your lips.

“Yeah? What about you? Does it get you all hot and bothered?” He smirked, falling right into your trap.

“Nah, I like men who wear jeans and drive Toyotas,” you started laughing, and the look on his face was priceless. As much as he might have wanted to feign upset at the comment, Billy couldn’t stop himself from letting out a ridiculous laugh, and it was the most joyful sound you’d managed to pull from him.

“You’re such a tease,” he took a drink, though his eyes stayed fixed on you.

“Don’t worry, Billy,” you reached for your own glass and took a long, slow drink, “I’m prepared to make an exception for you. What you lack in fashion sense, you make up for in other areas.”

“You’ll have to be more specific,” he prompted, a hint of impatience in his tone, like he needed to hear you say it.

“Well, you have a very talented tongue,” your cheeks started to warm but the ridiculous smile stayed plastered to your lips, “and you have quite a way with words. And you’re very hands on...”

“And you like that, do you?”

You decided not to answer him, instead you made a point of returning your attention to your food before it got cold. Billy’s eyes lingered on you for a few moments more before he did the same. The game wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot, but you needed some time to consider your next move.

After finishing your main course, you excused yourself, heading for the bathroom, as a terrible idea formed in your mind. You could practically feel Billy’s eyes on you as you walked away, and you could almost picture the look on his face as he did, that hungry glint in his eyes, the way his lips curled upwards ever so slightly whenever he stared at you. Especially tonight. Your silly games had gotten to him, but they’d gotten to you too, and it left you craving what would come next.

Standing in the bathroom stall, you took a few deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart but there was nothing for it. Now that you were doing this with Billy, now that you were finally willing to let him in, you were terrified in the most inexplicable way - it was scary how much you wanted him after so little time. But you did want him, and you wanted him to want you just as much.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you slipped out of your panties, trying not to think about the telling wet spot before balling them up in your hand.

When you left the bathroom, your cheeks were burning; your free hand nervously smoothing down your dress, terrified that everyone would suddenly be able to tell that you weren’t wearing panties. Billy gave you a confused look as you approached the table, and it was almost enough to make you completely lose your nerve. You awkwardly offered your hand to him and quickly handed him the balled up red lace before retreating to your seat.

“What’s this for?” He asked, fighting back a grin, momentarily looking at the panties before shoving them into his pocket.

“They were getting wet,” you managed to answer, nervously biting your lips before adding; “they’re my favourite pair, I don’t want them to get ruined.”

“They’re my favourite pair now, sweetheart.” He smirked at you, a devious glint in his eyes. “If I’d known this was what you were doing, I would have followed you to the bathroom. I hate to think of your needy little pussy all wet and unfulfilled.”

“Billy -” cheeks burning, glancing around, hoping that no one could hear him.

He leaned closer, smiling softly as if the pair of you were exchanging romantic sweet nothings. You felt his ankle nudge yours beneath the table and your breath caught.

“What’s wrong? Am I making your tight little hole drip? Are you making a mess thinking about how my cock would feel inside you if I bent you over this table in front of all these people?” And, just like that, he’d turned the tables on you. You’d wanted to drive him crazy, but you’d underestimated him. He reached for you, his hand covering yours.

“Is that what you’re thinking about?” You dared to ask in little more than a whisper, leaning closer.

“I’m thinking about crawling beneath the table and eating your sweet little pussy as my next course.”

You bit your lip again, thighs rubbing together beneath the table.

“I can’t wait to get you home.” He smirked, obviously noticing your discomfort and revelling in it.

“Does that mean we’re skipping dessert?” you asked, suddenly feeling breathless.

“No, I promised you dinner; it wouldn’t count if we skipped a course.” He kept smiling, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “Your needy little pussy will just have to wait.” His smile got wider as you almost pouted. “Though, it's driving me crazy knowing how wet you’re gonna be when I get you out of here.

“Now who’s being a tease?” You squeezed his hand, giving away just how much he was getting to you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, did I ruin your plans?” He asked with an unapologetic smirk. “Was I supposed to get flustered or did you want me to drag you out of here and fuck you in the car?”

You dropped your gaze, cheeks burning, not really having an answer for him; you’d just wanted to make him feel as out of control as you did.

“I appreciate the effort though,” Billy continued, “I like knowing the effect that I have on you.”

Your lips parted, about to say - you weren’t even sure what, when you were interrupted by the waiter bringing your dessert.

You ate dessert slowly, your eyes fixed on Billy, knowing that once you were done eating the rest of the night would begin. You both remained calm and composed, as you finished your meals, and as Billy paid the check. You pulled on your coat and slowly let him lead you from the restaurant, but things quickly changed the moment you reached the parking lot.

It was dark save for the flickering of a single street light, only two other cars remained but Billy had parked at the back of the lot, out of the way.

By the time you reached the Wraith, his hands were on your hips, turning you to face him as he pressed you back against his car. He kissed you, nipping at your lip before slipping his tongue into your mouth. Your fingers gripped his tie, holding him close, surrendering yourself to him.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he muttered against your lips, “you got me so fucking hard with that little stunt with your panties.”

“Good,” you answered, your hand slipping down his body to palm his erection through his pants.

“You keep that hand there and I’m not gonna be responsible for my actions, sweetheart.” Billy groaned.

“You should be more concerned with what I’m gonna do to you,” you smiled, your hand releasing his tie and gently pushing him backwards so you could drop to your knees in front of him. Your hands started to pull at the fastenings of his pants, pulling his hard cock through the zipper. Billy gave a groan as your fingers ran along his shaft, his own hand finding the roof of the Wraith for support.

He was barely breathing when you looked up at him.

You took a deep breath before leaning forward, your hand still gripping his cock while your tongue slipped between your lips.

You felt him twitch as your tongue touched hot skin, heard him groan as you ran your tongue from root to tip, lapping the salty sweetness that had already leaked from him as your tongue swirled over his tip. Lips trailed hot kisses up and down his shaft, smiling as he swore under his breath, and loving the marks your lipstick left on his skin.

You wet your lips with your tongue before finally taking him into your mouth, pulling an eager moan from him. He reached for you with his free hand, fingers fisted in your hair, gently guiding you up and down the length of him, while your fist pumped the base of him.

Billy was completely yours in that moment. With just your lips, you’d rendered him speechless, helpless, and hopeless. The feeling of power was intoxicating; the way he moaned and shuddered and swore made you want more. It made you want everything. Your cheeks hollowed against him, tongue working along every inch of him, your moans vibrating around him.

“That’s it. Look at me, sweetheart,” he grunted as your eyes found his, staring up at him through your lashes, and the look on his face had moaning even harder around him, “I wanna watch you suck my cock.”

His grip tightened, his chest heaving with every panted breath. He was getting closer and you didn’t want to stop. You took more of him, managing to sink lower and lower with the encouragement of his hand, earning more desperate moans from him. Eyes watered when he hit the back of your throat, but you didn’t stop, you barely even slowed. Tilting your head a little, he slipped into your throat and you felt his grip tighten, but just a fraction. Billy was barely managing to hold himself back, you could see it in his eyes, in the way he grit his teeth. You almost wanted to push him, make him lose control completely, but you didn’t want him to take over. You were in control of the moment and that was how you wanted it to stay.

You heard your name and the start of a gasped warning before his hips bucked and his cock started pulsing, filling your mouth. Despite trying to warn you, his grip on your hair didn’t loosen. You kept pumping his length with your fist, swallowing down everything he gave you, milking every last drop from him until it was too much for him to bear and he had to gently push you away. You dropped back against the Wraith, knees protesting and aching, licking his cum from your lips, feeling very proud of yourself.

“Fuck,” he muttered, breathless as he forced his cock back into his pants and offered you his hand.

Your knees ached from the gravel as you stood back up, but once you were up, Billy’s arm was around you, supporting you, holding you against him.

“Did you enjoy that?” You asked quietly, almost shyly, as if there was any chance someone else might overhear.

“Sweetheart, I think I just about lost my goddamn mind,” he smiled, lightly pressing his lips to yours before reaching around you to open the car door for you. “I’m gonna show you just how much when I get you home.”

Your shaky legs just about managed to get you into the car, and Billy shut the door behind you. While he made his way around to the driver's side, you checked yourself in the mirror, and found your lipstick smeared around your mouth. As Billy climbed into the Wraith he shot you a very smug look before handing you his handkerchief. He started the car while you did your best to fix your makeup.

There was a relative silence for a while, and you were content to just look out the window at the New York City lights. You didn’t talk, again, not wanting to distract Billy. But it felt like there was something in the air between you, a tension, a longing for things to come.

He glanced your way a couple of times before his hand found your thigh, causing you to tense suddenly. The hand was quickly pulled back and the car was very quickly filled with a different kind of tension.

“What’s wrong?” He dared to ask, his attention fixed on you more than the road, and that just made things worse.

“Watch the road, please...” you awkwardly pleaded and, to his credit, Billy did as you asked.

An awkward silence filled the air for the next few minutes; he didn’t dare look at you so he didn’t see the way you were awkwardly pulling at the sleeves of your jacket, your eyes fixed on the road just beyond the windscreen. He didn’t look again until he hit a red light and the car had come to a complete stop.

“What did I do?” He asked.

You didn’t want to tell him, you weren’t ready to share that part of your life with him, but you’d agreed, hadn’t you? You’d told him that you’d stop pushing, that you’d tell him if he fucked up. And he had fucked up, just not in a way he could have anticipated.

“Nothing,” you answered quietly, “It’s not you. I - I was in an accident and, now, being in cars makes me nervous sometimes.”

“Is that how -” he didn’t finish the question, he didn’t have to. He put it together, at least part of it. Your scars had come from a car crash. “Shit, sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “You didn’t know. I should’ve warned you.”

Whether out of respect to your anxiety at being in the car or just because he didn’t have anything else to say, Billy stayed mostly quiet the rest of the way back to his apartment, save for asking you if you were alright a couple of times and if you were warm enough. It was more than enough time to get over the awkwardness of Billy knowing a little bit more about you and, by the time the car was parked, you were ready to put it all behind you and continue the rest of the night with him.

He took your hand in his as he led you from the car to the elevator, your bag slung over his shoulder and holding you extra tight - you weren’t sure if it was meant as a reassurance or a sign that his patience was wearing thin. Either way, you squeezed his hand in return. His other hand, you soon noticed, was in his pocket along with your balled up panties.

You found that familiar look on his face once you were in the elevator. He didn’t look at you, he didn’t dare, you just kept squeezing his hand, silently telling him that you were there, that everything was alright. The elevator dinged when it reached the penthouse and everything quickly became a blur.

By the time the elevator door had closed behind you, Billy had you against the wall, your legs around his hips and the bag with your things abandoned somewhere on the floor. His hands awkwardly tugged open his pants, dropping them to the floor before, thrusting his cock into your wetness. You cried out, straining around him, wet but not entirely ready, your fingers curling in his hair. He didn’t give you time to adjust or get used to him before he started to fuck you, roughly laying claim to you.

“This is what you get for trying to play games with me, sweetheart,” he all but growled against your lips. All you could think was that if this was the sort of punishment you’d get for playing games and trying to rile him up, then you’d have to do it more often.

Your head dropped back against the wall, moaning and completely at his mercy, losing yourself with every snap of his hips.

There was no holding back the inevitable and, soon enough, you were moaning his name as you came undone, and Billy soon followed suit. He kept you against the wall, his weight holding you in place as he came inside you, still moving until he’d completely emptied himself, leaving you feeling oddly triumphant.

“See?” You panted, smiling widely. “I like your poor impulse control.”

His hand moved, gripping your jaw loosely with his fingers, looking at you like he was trying to make sense of something incomprehensible. You held his gaze, wanting him to see that you wouldn’t waiver, that you wouldn’t shy away from this side of him. Then he kissed you, softly, reassuringly, telling you a thousand things he didn’t have the words to say aloud to you.

He lingered against your lips as your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding him not because he was still inside you, but simply because you wanted to hold him. (How many people had just held him, you wondered.) Your fingers ran through his hair and you smiled against his lips. When he pulled back again, he still had that look, like he just didn’t understand. But you didn’t ask; it wasn’t your place to tell him how to feel, you just hoped he’d figure it out eventually.

Without a word, he lowered you and, once your feet were back on the floor, he was pulling you towards the bedroom so he could spend the rest of the night keeping you from sleep.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

END NOTES : So, yeah this is about the halfway point with what I have planned (I've got about 20 chapters planned, unless any get too long and need breaking up) but now that reader and Billy are in a nice place with their relationship, it's time to turn up the angst. There might be some more triggering stuff coming up in the next part, so please check the warnings! Next part should be up same time next week.

As ever, thanks so much for reading!! I know I say this every time but I'm honestly just overwhelmed with the likes/comments/reblogs/follows, it really does mean so much to me! (I have no idea how many of you are real and how many are bots, but you're all great - if you're not a bot drop an emoji in the comments idk)

If you want adding/removing from the tag list let me know (if it's not working for some reason... I honestly have no idea how to fix that but I hope it is working??)

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#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff

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