#code name is ateez

[starseongs]

pipsqueak fr😭

[dreamyinception-world]

ℂ𝕠𝕕𝕖 ℕ𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝔸𝕔𝕔𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖: ℙ𝕙𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕀

𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖: 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥, 𝔸𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟, 𝕊𝕔𝕚-𝕗𝕚 ℝ𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖, 𝔽𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗, 𝕊𝕞𝕦𝕥, 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕤𝕪, 𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕎𝕤: Depression, Homelessness of a Character, Poverty, Swearing, Injury, Near Death Experience, Death Wish, Mental Health Recovery, Blood, Hospital Visit, Malnourishment, Anxiety, Mentions of Childhood Abandonment and Death of a Family Member.

𝕨𝕔: 13.5𝕜 

𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣’𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: This one has been a long time coming, but I’m so happy to finally share my new series with you all! It’s very different from anything else I have written and I’ve dedicated a lot of time to it! If there are any tags that are missing that you would like for me to add, please let me know! Hope you all enjoy it!

Taglist down below! If you would like to be added, please message me! Please note that no minors will be allowed to be tagged in my work. Most of my work is 18+. If I find that you have asked and you are underage, you will be blocked without warning. 

©dreamyinception-world/deepnesta 2022 || please do not repost or use any of my work without my permission. Thank you ♡

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Hello, I wonder where you are and what you’re doing as you read this letter

Right now I’m 15 and there are things worrying me that I can’t talk to anyone about

I thought that if I wrote a letter to my future selfI could tell you all the things that I’ve kept bottled up inside me

Right now I feel like I can’t win, like I want to cry, like I’ll just disappearWho am I supposed to trust to get me through this?I’ve only got one heart and it’s been broken apart so many timesI’m living in the painful presentI’m living in it now

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Freezing. It’s always freezing the longer a person stays out. 

But for some reason it felt exceptionally cold this time of year. Call it coincidence or bad timing— it wouldn’t matter anyway.

Because for him it meant…

“F-Fuck.” His icy lips chattered against the break of his jacket. He curled into himself in an attempt to savor any ounce of heat that he could get from his own body. 

He had found a remote corner, in a back alley that no one would go down, that had a small heating system next to it. It belonged to the business next door, Nashimura’s, who kicked their heating up for the brunt of the winter. The warmth from the hot steam that would emanate out and swirl around his body would help to keep him warm as he slept or ate whatever scraps of food he was able to salvage.

Yet today, on one of the harshest days all season, they had closed early and turned the heater off. As the flame slowly went out of it, he began to feel the direness of the situation that he was in. 

The chills surged up from his feet and fingertips, reaching the center of his body like pin needles. Every gust, even the smallest one, sent shocks of shivers down his spine, violent tremors filling his body, with blue toned lips to match. He tried to keep his iced fingers tucked under his armpits, praying to every god— none of which he believed in— that he would not lose them. 

He couldn’t afford that. He couldn’t afford anything.

And if he didn’t find another spot, anywhere that was warm, he would die. Surely he would. And the worst part, no one would find him.

His bones snapped and cracked into motion to push his body up from the ground. He didn’t dare to take his hands out from their warming spot, instead hurrying out of the alleyway.

Somewhere nice. Yes. Somewhere like his image of home.

The streets were decorated with strung lights, each bulb a different shade of the rainbow, one prettier than the rest. People giggled and gossiped on the streets, young girls standing close enough to their friends so they could hear each other's words, and drunken men watching them go by with small smiles changing their faces. 

It was joyful and happy, with champagne and cigarettes, loud music and shy glances. 

Mother would have loved to see all this. And if it were snowing, even better. 

Not a single person noticed him as he brushed past them. Except maybe the occasional one, who had more money in his pockets than to know what to do with, that spared him the unnerved look— as if he were a dog whose shit he had just stepped in. Disgusting.

“I didn’t know a person could smell like that..” The man mumbled under the cold wisp of his breath, his girlfriend shushing him with a small hit to the chest and a short giggle, ushering them along.

He doesn’t know what it’s like to have a stench this putrid of sewage. To scavenge for any bit of clothing you can put together to barely cover exposed body parts— even if it meant having to steal something soiled or dirty. He had to stay alive. 

When you’re at that point, you don’t care about how it gets on you. It needs to stay on and protect everything. And it was doing just that.

A rough knock brought a woman, hair up in different pins and rollers to the door. She gazed dejectedly over his shivering form, rolling her eyes lightly.

“There’s no room for ya. We’re all booked out, sweetie.” Her gum snapped back and forth.

“P-Please..I just n-need to w-warm my hands for a l-little bit. I-I don’t need a b-bed.” His eyes fell shut, another shock racking down his body.

“There’s a pot out back that Ibura put a fire in for the boys. Go back there.”

“N-No, I’m n-not good with them. L-Last time they t-took my shoes while I was s-sleeping and it took a whole f-f-fucking month for me to get another pair.” He voluntarily cut himself off, feeling a swirl of emotions surge. The woman let out a short sigh, pulling her faux coat closed around her midsection before stepping outside, shutting the warm air off.

“Look. I can give Matsumi a call and see if she has room, but it’s the holidays, honey. Most places are gonna be full no matter where ya go. People are all trying to be inside. And we just don’t have any more space.” She folded her arms across her chest, tucking them under the fur. He turned his gaze away as tears brimmed at the corner of his eyes.

“My mother did everything for you to keep this place open. She gave you every single dime.” The woman let out a harsh sigh from his words, shifting from one foot to the other. He moved a bit closer to her, hurt beyond belief. “If it wasn’t for everything she gave to you, you wouldn’t have this building or a job left.”

“Excuse me?” Her neck rolled, eyes narrowed at him. Her intimidation was more than his could ever be, backing him down one step as she leered over him with a scowl. 

“I’ll have you fucking know that I put in the damn work to make this place grow from where it used to be. That’s right, me. Not your lousy fucking mother. Me.” She stabbed his chest with the point of her nail with every punctuation of her words.

“She gave me every single dime? Is that what she told ya? Well, let me give you a news flash. Your mother didn’t have any damn money, at least not what she was fucking alluding to. She gave me whatever she could fucking spare off your no-good father, who could barely give her enough to feed you and herself, you ungrateful fucking brat.” She shoved him off the last two stairs flat on his ass, spitting as she spoke through flares of anger. 

“And I don’t owe her a damn thing nor do I owe you. I kept you off the streets for three whole months when we were way overbooked to have another person in here, just like she would have asked me to. And what did you do? You ran around doing god knows what, instead of getting the damn job like I asked ya to.” Roughly opening the door back, she lightly shook off her coat, fixing him with a hard stare, her words cutting through the already iced air roughly. “You’re cut off. And don’t ya dare come back here with nonsense. Understand?”

His body jolted from the rough slam of the door, all the air that he had been holding in slowly filtering out along with a short, choked sob. Tears trickled down his face as he looked towards the sky that was free of stars. 

No…there’s no way that can’t…

He shifted from foot to foot as he walked further down the sidewalk, lights and decorations long gone. It was empty and quiet, besides the small sounds of people talking amongst themselves outside or a TV radiating out a slightly cracked window. The longer he walked, the heavier his tears fell. 

What had his life become? How much did he hurt in his past life to have been born into one so degrading, so low in nature that he was meant to stray along like this? He had found his parents to be liars, a memory he wished to not have for the entirety of his life. That would mean that everything he had believed— their care for him, how much they were willing to give for others in an act of selflessness— was a false narrative, made to make him not know the reality of the life was born into.

One that really had no hope. Not even a small chance.

Caught up in his own thoughts, he missed the lifted edge of the sideway from the ground, stubbing the tip of his shoe against it and going flying forward. He braced his hands in front of him and yelled out in pain when it smashed against the brick wall of the side of a building. 

“G-God…S-Shit..” He cursed and shook, bringing his hands up into view once he collected himself from being on his stomach. Through bleary eyes, he saw blue and purple beginning to bloom and decorate his wrist to the base of his palm. Any sudden movement brought an immense amount of pain to it. The other hand was scratched up and bloody, with bits of debris and possibly ash covering some of the worst parts.

At least he still had one good hand. That was better than nothing, right?

One good hand. He felt his entire body go numb as he sat there staring into his hands. 

What would one hand be good for? With the cuts in it and all the crap inside of it, it would be like having one good foot to walk on with nothing to aid but bracing against a wall.

He didn’t bother to stop the tears that freely fell down his face as he found comfort in the fetal position on the ground.

In that moment, more than any other time in his life, he wished that this would be the end for him. Maybe his life could turn into one of those stories that his grandmother used to tell him— the reincarnated heroes who had been blessed to live another life that was more beautiful as a forgiveness from the world for their suffering.

As his body succumbed to the cold, his eyes flickered up to the sky where snow started to fall in small clumps onto the ground. 

He could have sworn, in the last moments of his consciousness, he saw a small ring in the sky, where the snow did not dare to pass, keeping his face relatively clean. The stars gleamed brighter than he had ever watched.

A stream of light— the brightest tail sparkling behind it.

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A short jingle, somewhere in the distance— it's a beautiful chime similar to the ones that would emanate from a children’s toy box— trickled its way into his ears. 

It was almost too faint to hear.

There was a soft gush of the wind, cold and fluid with its push through the strips of grass and leaves, curled over his body, through his hair to kiss lightly on his fingertips.

His fingers began to twitch under the bed of foliage.

Then the second chime came, only slightly longer than the last  but was certainly jarring.

He jolted upward, his fingers clutched to his chest, gasping for air.

What happened? Where was he?

Peering around the area, he noticed a familiar tree hanging down not more than a few feet from him. 

Each branch was decorated with small adornments of fruits, ones that looked like stars and mini tear drops, sparkling under the hazy light of the sun. In the middle of the bunch, he noticed a small Persimmon dangling, splotches of different shades of orange and red covering it.

It looked similar to the one that he had seen in his grandmother’s backyard, years ago when he was living in the Nara prefecture. 

The one that grew on her strange tree in the strange part of year, as all the surrounding neighbors would tell her. The longer it stayed on the tree, the bigger it grew inside and the more vibrant it became. 

It suddenly was the staple of her legacy . The Nara Persimmon Woman.

“I was hoping you would remember it.” 

The voice swirled through the wind, carrying leaves above his head. Before they reached too high, a blur of white cut through the curling breeze, spinning the foliage in every which direction whilst almost knocking Nakamoto off his feet.

His head looked toward the direction of where the figure went, only noticing the trees groaning and shifting from the sudden burst.

“R-Remember what?” He spoke hesitantly through a tense jaw, noticing the heavy silence that fell through the forest. A shiver ripped up to his shoulders as a loud crack was heard between the two trees from earlier that the beast launched through.

A burst of wind exploded high up into the sky, followed by a loud melodic roar and the rush of heavy wings pushing everything within its force away. He steadied himself against the base of a rock to keep from being blown away, using one hand to shade his eyes to look towards the sky.

Floating above the break in the trees, an ivory dragon laid its eyes on him. Emerald and hazelnut scales glimmered in the light in contrast to his mix matched eyes, though no evil laid within them. 

He was merely peering at him, perplexed and curious about his appearance in this world.

The boy cautiously stood from his feet, keeping his eyes locked onto the majestic beast. “Was it you who said that to me?”

“Of course not. That was me.”

The voice came directly behind him, nearly making him jump out of his skin had he not remembered the rock that was behind him. A woman with a seafoam blue kimono and lavender hair pieces adorning her hair stood in front of him, a gentle smile gracing her face.

“I take it that Riku is quite curious and fond of you.”

“The—You mean the dragon?”

“Yes. Although he’s not normally nice to those he isn’t familiar with.” Riku lowered himself to the ground, curling up like a big puppy at the base of the woman’s feet. She leaned herself against his shimmering body as a comfortable space to strum her fingers against her biwa. 

Music filled the space, each note making the flora blossom and shift their bodies to its melodic sound. He felt himself relax down onto the plush ground in front of her, listening intently up until the last note. The woman ran her fingers against Riku's mane.

“I sense pain inside of you. Why are you hurting so much?”

“Because I’ve been hurt a lot.” was the way he simply put it.

The overarching amount of pain that he has been through stretched back too far for him to remember, not that he would even want to. Asking something of that caliber was almost too much to say all at once.

He thought too deep and heavily towards specific moments subconsciously, not noticing the way that the sky grew darker and the beauty of the open forest had fallen sullen with him as teardrops began to fall from his eyes.

“What makes you cry and feel so terribly?” Her voice remained soft with hands clasped around one of his. The brunette lowered his head in shame.

“All of my life, I wanted to live a life in paradise like this. My whole family wanted peace. But instead we suffered at the hands of other people— hurting ourselves in the process to stay afloat.” He lifted his head to meet her eyes, a choked sob leaving him as she moved his hair out of his face.

“I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I want to live.”

“Even those that live feel pain. A life is not a life without pain and beauty. We must live through pain to find our way to the peaceful side.” She wiped the rest of his tears away, holding his face in her hands.

It hurt more that she was right then to feel the way that he felt right now.

Had the world cursed him to live such a life because he was just the person that seemed befitting of it? Was his past life so malevolent that he was being punished to suffer through years of pain for his crimes?

For whatever way the world saw fit of his existence on Earth, he wanted no part of it anymore.

“I want to stay here.” He pleaded, gripping her wrists.

“This place was made in memory of my life from when I was younger— a time where I felt happiness and nothing else. I want to have mercy, patience, love and joy again. I won’t get it back out there.”

The woman let go of his face, shifting to face him directly with his trembling fingers in between hers. With a painful tinge in her heart, she shook her head. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s not time yet for you to go. You cannot stay here. You must go back.”

Before he could reel himself away and let his feelings swallow him, she squeezed his hands. 

“Your life is too precious, against what you may believe it to be. You have so much in your life ahead of you, beauty that is to come. I’m not meant to share this with you unless blessings are bestowed to me, but as one that doesn’t have much to give, I felt that this could be the exception.” The angelic woman brought them both to their feet, the colors of the world beginning to brighten and blur once more.

“Give it time. When the moment is right, you will know.” Opening his palm, she tucked a small pouch inside, closing his fingers around it with an endearing smile.

“Trust me.” As if on command, Riku rose and bowed his body for her to board, a small rumble leaving his throat. She ran her fingers through the charmed spots on his back, eyes falling back on the boy as he walked a bit closer. 

He felt, as his eyes lingered longer on her appearance and the ascents of her attire, there was something that was familiar to him. He felt like he had known her, or rather, she had been connected with him somehow throughout his life. He couldn’t explain it– something that his brain had seemingly blocked or kept from him. 

“Wait. How do I know you?” He inquired.

All that he received was a brighter smile, nodding in the direction behind him.

“Go back now.”

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“—I think he’s waking up now!”

Beeping monitors, feet quickly moving against something that sounded like tile— it probably was tile— and voices, both coming from women, entered his ears in a rush. 

“Let me see his vitals.”

“They’re still a bit lower than they need to be. Please go and deliver this to Mr. Choi.” 

At that moment, his eyes finally opened, although they were a bit blurry. They took a moment to focus and his brain to catch up to where the hell he was. 

Warm. I’m warm.

He shifted what he could of his head, noticing a doctor, looking peculiarly at his data chart with furrowed brows. The way her face scrunched up couldn’t help but bring a small chuckle and smile to his dazed face. 

His aunt used to make that face any time she had to read instructions, his mom hitting her and telling her to get her eyes checked because she can’t read anything with her piss poor sight. 

“I can fucking see! It’s just hard to read all of this, it’s complicated!”

Their bickering, always playful, made him laugh all the time.

“Ah! You’re finally awake.” The doctor’s voice brought his attention back, adjusting the glasses on the brim of her nose. She lowered some of the blankets that had been put around his neck down to his collarbone.

“I’m going to ask you some basic questions just to make sure your memory is still intact. Is that alright?”

He gave her a small nod. 

“Just answer as honestly as possible!” 

Her voice was more vibrant and bubbly than what he had expected of a doctor. 

“Do you know where you are right now?”

“Hospital.” He croaked out. She scribbled something onto the clipboard, rolling a chair over to sit directly next to his bed. 

“Good. And do you know what day it is?” She shut one eye while checking his with a light, a small hum leaving her lips.

“December 24th. Christmas Eve.” 

“And your name, date of birth?”

“Nakamoto Yuta. October 26th. Born in 95.”

“That’s great, thank you!” 

She stood up just as a nurse peaked their head through the door. Their voices sounded a bit echoed in his ears as he stared at the ceiling, trying not to succumb to sleep again.

Everything felt so cozy and warm. He could finally feel his feet after what felt like years. 

His body felt nice. Everything felt nice, like how he would have imagined.

His eyes had only been closed for a few minutes before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Opening them, the doctor and the nurse were smiling gently.

“I know you must be so exhausted, but I think a meal is in order now, no?” 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁

What does it feel like to be starving for a long time? Not having what would be classified as a “decent meal”— or certainly one that was well balanced. Something they may not share with you after not having adequate meals for a significant amount of time is that your body will find what is being placed inside of it as foreign.

In other words, your body forgets how to act as a body. Digestion, extracting nutrients to fuel your body, all of the necessities to replenishing your body with all the essentials that it needs.

You have to train yourself again to regain what you have lost.

“What is this?” His brows furrowed at the platter in front of him.

Although his state had been distorted since he came here, he was almost entirely sure that this was not one of those moments.

“I know it’s not the most appealing or appetizing meal.” the nurse relayed sympathetically. “But it’s all that your body will be able to stomach, I’m afraid.”

A bowl of something that looked similar to oatmeal, but lacked any sort of color whatsoever was placed on a small tray table in front of him. He might have thought of it to be some kind of porridge— but even that would look more enticing than this.

“Try your best to eat as much as you can of it so that you will feel better and have more energy.” She moved around to change his IV bags that started to get a bit low. He took a small spoonful into his mouth, grimacing as he swallowed small bits at a time.

“How did I get here?” He questioned in between a few gnarly bites, drawing his eyes closed from the texture.

“Ah! I suppose we didn’t get around to telling you that!” She rubbed her neck sheepishly. Yuta raised an eyebrow as he chewed.

“It seems that a good samaritan found you on the side of the road. He was so concerned about your condition that he brought you straight here, on his back no less!”

A man saved me? Yuta’s eyebrows pulled together.

“It’s a good thing that he brought you here when he did. A second too late and you could have— well, let’s not be too grim!” 

As if everything about this hasn’t been. Yuta heaved out a huge sigh, eyes downcasted on his food.

He couldn’t help but think about the horror that the poor man must have felt seeing him in whatever condition he was in. 

Forget about the condition he was in..how on Earth was he going to pay for all of the treatment he received.

It wasn’t until now that he noticed the cast around his wrist alongside the luxuriousness of the hospital room that he was in. Everything looked so modern and completely out of a range of any price he could afford.

I can’t imagine what the bills were like for just one night here..

At that moment, the doctor returned through the partially opened door. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Nakamoto. But there is someone who wants to see you.”

A confused look crossed his face as a man walked through the door alongside the doctor. He certainly was not a part of his family or even close to a person he would have known through passing or past jobs.

No, this man was a lot cleaner cut than anyone he had ever met.

His clothes managed to look expensive despite the simplicity of them. It was difficult to tell if he was trying to be modest in this or did it from sheer attention seeking prerogatives.

Either way, he was certainly handsome to say the least.

“Mr. Nakamoto, this is Mr. Choi. He is the one who brought you into us after finding you in the alleyway.”

Out of everything that he could have prayed for, he would have wished that the person finding him nearly at the pearly gates would be someone of a lower class— like a dad taking his kids home from a holiday get together or maybe a restaurant owner who was heading home in the brunt of the cold and snow.

But, nope. With his piss perfect fucking luck, it was a rich man who had to bring him to the hospital— shit smell and all— whose water he probably wouldn’t be able to afford.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁

Behind a closed door and hidden from the watchful eyes of hospital staff, Yuta expected Mr. Choi to exhibit the same demeanor as those of people he has worked under. Though, it was hard to say if his outward impression was all a facade or not.

He didn’t push Yuta to say anything, he kept his distance from him as he did in the beginning, and merely amused himself with the assortment of paintings around the room and out of the window at people walking down the street.

“You should have left me out there.” The boy didn’t care to correct his bluntness, trying to eat more of the food that the nurse gave him. Mr. Choi watched a particular couple that was walking with their arms linked together. Although they were attached to each other closely, they both didn’t have an ounce of happiness on their faces.

“I don’t believe in leaving people in dire situations out to fend for themselves. Especially if they are incapable of doing so.” He only looked a bit of his shoulder towards Yuta, noticing the way that the boy’s shoulders slumped, putting his spoon down.

“Well, I hate to be rude, but you’ve put me in a worse situation than before.” Yuta turned to him with sunken eyes.

“As you probably could already tell from the way that you found me, I don’t exactly have the money to be able to afford to pay for any sort of hospital bill. I don’t have insurance, savings or anything that could cover for even a fraction of this.”

“That’s no matter. The fee has already been waved.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know that you wouldn’t be able to afford it.” Mr. Choi drew his attention back towards him, perching his hands comfortably on the windowsill, head cocked to the side.

“What mattered most was getting you the treatment that you needed, not the cost of it. When the situation was that dire, monetaries shouldn’t matter.”

What a life that would be to not have to think about the money…

If he said something like that, he must have a lot of it.

“What do you want from me?” The rich man’s head fell to the other side at the question, raising an eyebrow.

“What do I want from you? Nothing.”

“Oh, come on.” Yuta exasperated, letting his spoon fall into the soup.

“You’re telling me that you did this whole heroic act of saving me from freezing my ass off outside, brought me here to this glorious hospital, paid for my entire hospital bill and you don’t want anything from me?”

He had been down this road before, learning all too quickly that kind hand outs were never truly kind gestures. Behind every nice thing that someone has ever done for him, they always wanted something in return.

Every single fucked up thing he ever did, karma always made its way back to him.

That’s the reason why he was here in the first place. And the last thing he needed was to be taken advantage of again. 

“Well,” Mr. Choi continued, “I would like to see that you aren’t on the streets again with nowhere to go. So, allow me to house you for the time being— a bed to sleep in, bathroom, refrigerator— all the amenities you would need to be comfortable. And if you’re uncomfortable with this sort of thing, there’s a coffee shop just down the road. Had a sign in the window looking for people to hire. You can take a job there and put that money towards the place.”

“Like hell that would be enough to accommodate a place like that.”

“It’s a start.” The man took a few steps closer to him, eyes trained on him carefully to monitor his movements of discomfort or fear. He was met with none, only the look of anger and annoyance from two tired-stricken eyes. 

“Look, I don’t know if you’re one of those guys that gets off to helping the poor people on the street— but I don’t need any of that. What I do with my life is not your problem and does not need any of your concern. Thank you for the help, but I don’t need it anymore.”

Neither offense nor anger crossed the man’s face, perplexed and intrigued seemed more befitting for the situation. 

It was almost as if Yuta had reacted in the way that Mr. Choi would have expected, falling into the palm of his hands so beautifully that it made him feel satisfaction in the way everything was playing out.

“Very well, then. I hope that your recovery will be quick and that you see yourself to not be on the streets again.” Mr. Choi curtly bowed, stalking over to the door with a level of eloquence not before fixing Yuta with one last look. 

“I truly hope it will go into your favor.” 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖°₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁

Not a month or two since he had been discharged from the hospital, did things somewhat change for him. 

He had been lucky enough to have been put back out on the streets at a time in which businesses were hiring, searching for people who needed something to fill their pockets over the holidays.

One in particular, encased in the delicately framed letters that one would see in a fairy tale book, read Silent Tea— a mirror to being somewhat close to the quiet and quaint feeling of a library combined with that of a cafe.

Yuta had found the atmosphere to be reminiscent of something from his past that he couldn’t pinpoint. Whatever it was drew him into the stores and next behind the counter to take orders and make drinks.

“Make sure you don’t forget to check your time, Nakamoto.” a flat tone rang from his left coming from his coworker Mina, swiping down every counter of ground beans and water to avoid being bitched at by their manager for the mess. 

She had been there for slightly a bit longer than he had, being somewhat of an assistant manager, who took over every ounce of duty that had to do with keeping the newbies from screwing up. 

The Nara boy had been pretty good with her, minus his time management and letting himself rest to eat lunch and relax.

“I’ll go after the line is cleared up.” He spoke, thanking the customer in front of him as he handed her change, one that she dropped into the tip jar on the counter, decorated with stickers and labels.

Everyone who came into the place seemed to be genuine and kind, something that he wasn’t entirely used to, but never not once let his guard down for. 

With customers satisfied, drinks in hand to leave out and start their days or sit down and enjoy inside, Yuta went to unravel his apron from around himself. A chime coming from the front door stopped his hands and, well his whole movement as a matter of fact.

A pair of feline eyes met him alongside that all too handsome face.

To say that he had almost forgotten the man existed was an understatement, if the heat creeping up his face and the swiftness of pulling off his apron had anything to do with it.

“Can I take your order?” Mina hesitantly inquired, noticing a weirdness between the man and her newbie. The question gave Yuta enough chance to hang his apron on his assigned hook and grab his small bag. 

How did he even know that he was working here? Was he really stalking him that hard? Or maybe he had some sort of private investigator that was on his every move, so he wouldn’t have to make it look like that was following him.

Why me? Why fucking me? Is all that Yuta’s mind could even question as he tried to B-line his way to the door and out of sight from his alleged stalker. And it surely would have been swift and easy for him, had it not been for a smooth hand ceremoniously grabbing his wrist on the way out the door.

“I was hoping you would have at least said hello before leaving out on your break.” The sweetest of his tone rang through Yuta’s ears, following a sigh that the boy had been holding in. He finally turned and met his eyes, the same curiosity and gentleness bleeding into his demeanor.

“Care to sit and talk with me for a moment?”

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

That’s how he ended up here, sitting in the corner of his workplace, alone with his savior once more. He fiddled with the hem of his jagged edged shirt, seeing Mina watching him from his peripherals— looking damn near ready to pounce and call the police if Yuta gave her the signal.

Mr. Choi brought the cup of brewed coffee to his lips, not caring to blow away the steam as he took a light sip, humming in satisfaction at the taste. 

“I’m glad to see you’re doing better. You look healthier since the last time I saw you.” The mug made a small clang as he brought it down onto the table, crossing one leg over the other. 

“I guess you could say I feel at ease knowing that you are doing better than before.”

Was this confession supposed to make him feel thankful that somebody cared about him? 

In an attempt to clear out his racing thoughts, Yuta attempted to pick up his coffee to drink only to spill half of it over, across the round table and dripping onto the floor. He sputtered, reaching for the napkins when a pair of hands reached their first, ignoring the eyes of other patrons as he cleaned up the mess. 

God, if only the floor could swallow him whole or at least let him disappear so he wouldn’t have to feel so fucking embarrassed right now. 

“Is everything alright over here?” Mina kept her voice leveled with a mop in hand, keeping her eyes locked on Yuta as the boy hid half of his face inside of his shirt. 

“Yes, everything is fine.” The man looked up at her and flashed her a kind smile.

She wasn’t particularly concerned about hearing it from him though, waiting patiently with the wooden handle held tightly in her grasp. 

Yuta quietly collected himself and spoke softly, “It’s okay. I just spilled my coffee because it was a little hot.”

Not true, but would at least give Mina the memo to walk away now. 

Thankfully, she took the hint, mopping up the rest of the spill before being brought back to the counter upon hearing the squeaky panicked voice of another newbie, Hinata, fumbling with the coffee maker. 

With the area around them silent again, Yuta finally let himself be pressed back against the curved loveseat, letting out a long drawn out exhale from between his lips.

“Why are you here?” Was the only thing he could muster out, feeling tired more than anything from this entire situation.

“I really don’t trust, nor like, people— let alone strangers who follow me around.”

“I’m not sure what you mean. This is my first time seeing you in months.” Whether or not he was trying to keep a playful tone, Yuta wasn’t having any of it, as made apparent by the slightly ticked off look on his face, shaking his head to busy himself with stirring the liquid of what was left in his drink with a spoon.

“Are you coming to collect the money I owe you for the hospital bill?” 

“Heavens no. I told you that I wasn’t going to have you pay that back.” 

“Then what do you want?” 

No words came from the other side of the table for a moment, drawing Yuta’s attention up to find Mr. Choi looking out towards the window. 

He had spotted a child across the street, bouncing excitedly over the sidewalk lines with a small doll in her hand. Her parents trailed behind her with small chatter coming from the two, laughing lightly at their daughter as she nearly stumbled over her own two feet. Her father scooped her, spinning her around, up and onto his shoulders, a small silly pep to his step as they disappeared on the other side of the corner, the wife shaking her head and quickening her steps to catch up with them.

“I wonder what it is like for people to just be born into great lives, not having to worry about the bad or the dangerous things that have been planted into our world.” His voice was hushed, almost above a whisper, bringing his attention back to Yuta. “Don’t you?”

He wonders what it’s like? Doesn’t he already have that life? 

The boy raised an eyebrow at him, bringing the mug up to his lips. “I don’t really have time to think about things like that.”

“But if you did,” Mr. Choi continued, pushing his clasped hands further inward on the table, “would you take it? Take the chance, I mean.”

“I’m pretty sure anyone would.” 

“Not just anyone. I mean just you.”

A wash of confusion went across Yuta’s face. “Huh?”

“What would you do to have a new life, a new start— where you don’t have to care about anything else in the world?”

A new start.. 

As much as he liked working here at the coffee shop, it wasn’t home for him. He still had to use every last dime to pay for the run down place he had managed to get, thanks to his manager , and still barely had enough money to be able to buy the things he desperately needed— new shoes, clothes that weren’t so destroyed.

At least he didn’t smell like shit and piss, right?

But it wasn’t enough for him. 

Circling back to that night, whatever it was that he could remember from the visions he saw, came back to him in a sudden rush.

The heavenly atmosphere of the small forest in the woods. The fruit trees. The dragon and the mysterious woman.

He wasn’t one to believe in other worldly beings— none of them had ever brought him the luck that he desired so why would he ever do so— and yet there was something about her that stayed with him.

She felt like someone that was familiar to him, that he had known for a long time. Her presence didn’t make him feel fearful. He trusted her.

Was this what she was speaking about— the way that life was destined to fall for him? The one that he should see through if he had any intention of his life turning out better?

There’s no way that she could be wrong. 

This was his chance. 

Without thinking, Yuta reached forward to clasped Mr. Choi’s hands between his, much to the man’s surprise, with desperation. “I’ve wanted that for my entire life. Do you know someone who can help me?”

Mr. Choi held his hands gently, brushing the pad of his fingers over Yuta’s. “My family and I can help you.”

It was then that a document was moved into Yuta’s line of sight, followed by a pen and a small stamp. 

It looked official, not like some of the fake ones that he had been handed before in the past. This was the real deal.

“What is this?” Yuta retracted his hands, holding up the packet.

“This is your new start.” 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — —— — — — — — — — — — — — —

The world is an undoubtedly cruel place, where only those who have been blessed with the perfect life or born into riches can live peacefully and happily. Whereas those, who sacrifice so much in order to achieve their happiness, are left to struggle for years on end with no sense of relief.

What is seen as a beautiful utopia for someone is hell on Earth for others.

The world is fleeting, poisonous and dying. 

This type of life doesn’t deserve to be reborn.

We deserve to have a life clean of suffering, pain and sadness.

Everyone dreams of this world— recounted as heaven— where they can feel the peace of mind they have merely dreamt of.

What if that world was real? What if you could be a part of it?

We have seen you. We have heard you. We want you.

Be loved, embraced and cherished in the New World— one that, long after civilization as we know it has faded away, will be here to guide us, with patience, into the next phase of life.

Allow your talent and gifts to be used to make a better future for everyone. A chance at another life— only granted to the under appreciated who have been left in the dark.

You can help to build a better world— with everything you have ever dreamed of— and finally live.

Will you join us?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — —— — — — — — — — — — — — —

“I know this may seem weird, especially with everything else that has been occurring, but I wanted to give you this opportunity.” Mr. Choi lowered the paper from in front of the Japanese man’s face, seeing tears fill his eyes.

“I haven’t been entirely truthful with you, against my better judgment. I didn’t want you to feel scared of me or pressured to live some sort of life because of my words.” His fingers brushed over the boy’s wrist, guilt littered on his face. Yuta put the document down, creating distance between them once more.

“Be honest with me now, then.”

For the first time, since the two of them had met, anxiousness came over the man— cupping his elbows for some level of comfort to himself. He kept his eyes trained on the table, teething at the inner layer of his lips.

“I’ve seen you for a while now, at least for half a year. When you will still be working on the other side of town at the laundromat. I watched you, day in and day out, working there and being out on the streets, trying to survive and—even when things were hell for you, losing your job and having to start over from square one— you still pushed on. You never gave in to the pain you were feeling, until that night when I found you in that alleyway.”

“I— admired that about you.” There was a bit of caution to his words, eyes finally meeting Yuta’s again.

“Despite everything, you still wanted to win. That’s why I want to make sure that you keep winning, keep succeeding with everything you dream of doing. That’s why..I wanted you to join us.”

…

Someone wanted him to win and live a life that he deserved.

Only one other person in his life wanted something like that for him. Praised and gave him everything he needed to be strong in a time where betrayal was almost expected.

“You have to be strong, my baby.” His grandmother smoothed the hair on the back of his head with trembling fingers, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible. His smaller self hiccuped, tears bellowing down his face.

“You have always been, and I don’t want you to lose sight of that. There will be people that will try to break you down so they can laugh at you. But you don’t let them understand? Obahan will always be here to protect you and keep you safe. Do you believe me?” She cupped his face, brushing away teardrops from his cheeks with a pained smile. 

He always trusted her over everything. She had never lied to him, not once over anything. 

“I believe you.” He choked out, sobbing harder when she pulled him into her embrace, keeping him close and tight in her arms. 

════════════════════════════════════════════

“Please, just consider it.” 

The words echoed in his head from the moment he clocked out and finished his shift. He couldn’t peel it from his mind, no matter how hard he wanted to stop thinking about it.

Anybody who would hear about the opportunity to live a life full of peace and harmony would jump at the first chance to sign their life away. 

Especially if their lives were filled with hell, pain and loss.

A chance to have a clean slate and truly live for the first time, just in arms reach for them to take, beckoning them to come and bless the world with their knowledge, dedication and passion— coming out on the other side with overwhelming fulfillment. 

Praise for the work that you have given to the greater cause.

The first spark of falling in love.

Intimacy, family, another circle of people to love and cherish.

Dying knowing that you have lived life to the fullest potential. You survived and you won. 

He should have been the one to do that, no questions asked.

Yet, the paper sat on the small breakfast table in his quaint apartment, without a single marking made on it.

Leaving everything behind to go and live in an unknown world, with people whose language he doesn’t speak, who don’t know him and his past. Not having the cushion and safety of his home country to run back to if he became fearful and wanted to leave.

No, he would have to be secluded. He would have to give up.

But would it really be any different than the situation he was in right now? He’s been alone— on his own and having to fight for everything that he wants, he needs nobody else to hand it to him. If he wanted it, he had to assume the right to have it. 

This is no different. He’s fighting and, for the first time, someone saw him and wanted him to keep going.

Is it real? Is it true? Is he really a fighter?

The thought alone made his body wrack with fear.

Would it truly be the paradise that it says? What if he goes there and it’s all a lie? He wouldn’t be able to get himself out easily— they would know his name and everything. They would hunt him down and bring him back.

He would be even more trapped than he was before.

Don’t put yourself in that headspace. You know what happens when you go there.

Just have to keep calm. 

It’ll be okay. It’ll be-

“Yuta-chan!” The boy jolted in his seat on the couch, clutching a hand over his heart from the hands that were clapped in front of his face. As the thoughts slowly dispersed from his mind, his eyes floated around the room, cheeks burning.

Sana’s house. She invited him over to celebrate the one year anniversary of Silent Tea. 

Which also means he had another set of eyes that were in the room and currently glued onto his anxious form.

“I called your name so many times and you just sat there staring. Are you okay?” Sana’s brows furrowed, bringing herself down to eye level. Yuta shied from the action almost immediately as he saw Mina cock a brow at him.

“Y-Yeah of course! Sorry, I’m just a little out of it I guess. Long day at work.” He casually brushed it off, tucking his hands firmly under his legs to avoid exposing his sweaty palms. Sana’s bottom lip poked out, resting her folded hands on her co worker's knees.

“Are you sure?” Yuta’s face fell from the worry in her voice, sending her a tired smile.

“I’m sure.” But he could tell from his peripherals that Mina was not convinced, shifting her feet with her arms folded. It took only a moment for her to walk over and place a gentle hand on Sana’s shoulder.

“Nana, why don’t you go and help Hinata and Shotaro in the kitchen?” At that moment, the sound of pans clashing and liquid spilling echoed in from down the hall, immediately followed by the sounds of two bickering voices. 

“I..I think they might be making a mess.” Mina hesitated with her eyes glued to the door opening. Sana hastily rose to her feet with puffed cheeks, a rough exhale leaving her nose.

“I told you two not to destroy my kitchen!” Sana called out annoyedly down the hall, her little stomps following her until the room fell silently again, only occasionally hearing some muffled squawking or protests.

Yuta didn’t dare to look up and meet Mina’s eyes, knowing that she was for sure glaring daggers into him— similarly to how she would at work if he wasn’t following her directions or pushed himself too hard. 

“Look, really I’m fine-“ He silenced himself upon her hand raising in front of him. Knowing that nobody else but him would be able to see her right now, she softened her expression, moving to sit next to him with arms folded across her chest.

“I know this is about that man that came in yesterday.” Her eyes were fixated on the clock across the room, watching the handle move back and forth to avoid making Yuta uncomfortable. He adjusted himself on the cushion, stealing a short glance at her.

Had it really been that obvious or was she that good at guessing?

“I’m not going to push you to tell me anything. I just hope..” Mina paused, relaxing her body with closed eyes. “I hope that you aren’t in any danger, and if you are, then you would tell us.”

Yuta’s shoulders slumped, face fallen. It wasn’t their fault, really. They had been good to him, more than he could say for most people that had the “privilege”— we say that part lightly— to be in his presence. They had done more than just the bare minimum for him.

Yet, he felt like there was something, anything that made it not right for him to put too much trust and faith in them.

Who can say that they wouldn’t truly be like the others.

“Yeah, of course I would.” 

It felt a little too automatic in Mina’s mind. What you say to give the person in question the exact thing that they want to hear. Yet, she felt another call from the world to withhold any anger and frustration, trying to keep herself level headed, eyes still shut.

Maybe another route was in order.

“When I was younger,” Mina started, the beginning of the recount surging a median of stress up to the base of her shoulders. “My mother left me and my brother outside of my grandmother’s house— told us that she was going to run some errands and didn’t wanna leave us alone at home.”  

She let her eyes fall on the clock again, seeing Yuta shifting his body inward closer to her. 

“What turned into a simple couple of errands turned into her never coming back for us— continuously promising that she would but lying every single time. It wasn’t until years later that she apologized and started trying to make it up to us, in any little way that she could.”

Mina turned her head and met Yuta’s saddened eyes.

“I didn’t wanna believe anything that she said. But, I learned something the day that she came back into our lives for real.” Clasping his hands between hers, she spoke in a hushed tone.

“You can forgive the person but not the thing that they did, or do whatever it takes for you to come to terms with what happened. But, every day we meet new people. Some will be bad, some will be the best person you’ve met. Some will masquerade as kind when they are evil or vice versa.” A heavy exhale left her mouth as she squeezed his hands, lowering her head to hide her face. It almost pained her to listen to her own words, almost as if she was speaking them to herself rather than to Yuta.

“What I’m trying to say is— I get it. Feeling scared is valid. I just don’t want..you to feel like you have to keep everything to yourself.”

A part of him wanted to say that of course he knew that and he wasn’t dumb enough to not acknowledge that sort of thing.

Given the circumstances and what Mina just shared with him though, it probably wouldn’t be the smartest nor most truthful response for him to give.

Yuta’s fingers curled tighter around her own, sending back a more comforting squeeze to ease some of the tension out of his coworker and the conversation.

“I just didn’t want to involve you in my mess..” He admitted, leaning himself back on the edge of the couch. 

“I know you all have so many things going on in your lives and the last thing, above all else, that I would want to do is put you all in a stressful or uncomfortable situation.”

“Just because we have things going on in our lives doesn’t mean we can’t lean on each other when things get a little tough. We’re like a family— at least I hope you see us that way.” Her lips curled up into a light smile from his nod, brushing her thumb against his hand.

It took Yuta a minute to collect his barings and explain everything that was going on with him- starting from the moment he was desperately trying to find shelter and fainted on the street to the offer to now.

When he was done, Mina moved her hands away from him to rest her elbows on her knees. Her hands fell together, drumming against each other in a rhythmical pattern, deep in thought.

“What do you think..about everything?” Yuta inquired hesitantly.

“It..It sounds crazy, Yuta.” Her voice was cautious, seeing the way Yuta nodded slowly in agreement. Some part of him felt comfort in knowing that she was somewhat agreeing with what he was feeling. 

“But I think you should do it.” 

“Huh?” His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. 

“I mean–you really didn’t plan on staying here the rest of your life working with us, did you?” Mina thwacked his head, a small chuckle leaving her lips as Yuta recoiled. He rubbed his forehead with a small pout on his face which quickly melted into one of worry and concern. Mina immediately pushed him away, moving to stand up from the couch.

“You’re not gonna stay with us and you’d be an idiot to not take up that chance.” She turned and looked over her shoulder at him. “You have a better shot than the rest of us.”

Without letting him spare another word to her, she disappeared down the hallway, a loud cackle echoing down after hearing some commotion and yelled comments from Shotaro.

Now left alone again with his thoughts, Yuta gazed over his phone resting face up on the coffee table in front of him. 

It could be beautiful, wonderful— everything that he could ever imagine it to be as a new home for him. 

The aspect of trust. 

Not everyone is out to get you. Someone could be trying to help you. You have let go a little to make it out. 

A new found, albeit small, percentage of excitement and eagerness lurched inside of him— for something truly amazing and scary that he would soon find out.

════════════════════════════════════════════

~One week later~

“I’m not gonna lie. I was genuinely surprised to have gotten a call from you.”

Birds chirped happily to each other over their heads, twirling against the baited breeze of the winter air. Yuta curled himself further into his jacket— a force of habit—- to keep the heat from escaping. 

“I originally had no intention to.” He admitted, keeping his eyes directed to the pond. 

“What changed your mind?” 

Yuta brought his cup of coffee to his lips, allowing the warm liquid to comfort him and reduce some of the shakiness in his hands.

“I’ve never had anyone besides my grandmother care so much about me— let alone have faith in me to revolutionize the world.” His finger danced around the styrofoam lid of the cup. “So you can imagine it sounded a bit bizarre to me.”

“But..?”

The two of them locked eyes when Yuta’s head turned, a gentle smile blossoming on the Japanese boy’s face— one that Mr. Choi hadn’t had the opportunity to see since he first met him.

“Wake from death and return to life.” Yuta leaned in a bit whilst speaking his native tongue, chuckling at the sight of confusion. He clicked his tongue with a playful shake of his head.

“It means to take a situation that is bad and make it into something that is good. I’ve followed that notion since the moment I was on my own and, despite every obstacle that came my way, I never gave up on it.”

Mr. Choi looked down at his lap, fighting back the smile that was threatening to come to his face. Yuta caught the slip from the corner of his eye, letting his eyes fall closed.

“I’m not saying that I trust you, let alone believe in any of the faith you have in me. But, I would be going against everything that I’ve been doing for myself for my whole life if I didn’t try.” His voice carried through the wind softly, being hushed by another sip of his coffee. Mr. Choi straightened himself on the bench, following suit with a sip of his tea.

A small beat of silence went between them before Yuta slid over the same document he had given him, now neatly sealed inside the safety of a conference folder, without a word. Mr. Choi checked through each page to have signatures on every spot that is needed.

“Just remember one thing.” The change in Yuta’s tone brought a chill down the man’s spine, alongside the unnerving way he smiled whilst creating this atmosphere around them.

“Evil cause, evil effect.”

The normally composed man’s eyes widened as the space between himself and Yuta closed to a near inch, the same expression lingering on the Nara man’s face with more threatening eyes.

“If you screw me over, lie, or hurt me in any way, it will only come back to you worse than what you did to me.”

A small tremble settled in the rich man’s eyes, a lump forcing its way down his throat as he felt the urge to nod at the statement. Yuta smiled with a level of satisfaction, his face returning to its normal and kind manner. With a small sigh, he stood up and brushed off his clothes, turning his attention over his shoulder at the stunned man. 

“I’ll look forward to hearing from you again then, Mr. Choi.” 

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Day 1 of my new life

I couldn’t begin to think of anything else that could be more perfect than a new pair of shoes and pants. They weren’t as fancy as I would have imagined them to be, though the price tag was higher than anything I would have been able to imagine. I wonder why people bring it upon themselves to buy a nice pair of jeans for a price that would equate to almost twenty full course meals on a table. Just to be simplistic– like every other person. 

I guess Mr. Choi wanted me to feel comfortable, at least that’s what he said to me when he handed them over yesterday. 

“A new chapter should begin with a slightly different look. Don’t you think so?” 

I couldn’t lie and say that I didn’t like the things that he bought for me. I guess I would be crazy to complain over fresh, clean clothing that fit my body nicer than anything I could have thrifted from the store. 

My hair was cleaned up and cut for the first time in about seven years, freshly shaven and a clean face. And now a pair of jeans and a black blazer, one that I said would be too big for it falling past my waist line. But he said that it was perfect for me. 

It suited me. 

Was there even such a thing as being “suited” for something? 

Everything felt so unreal and foreign. I almost didn’t feel or look like myself. 

It was almost like for a second I felt a level of normalcy, but it scared me.

I realized when we got into his car for the last time, that it wasn’t nearly as hard to say goodbye to Japan. 

It had been my home and my hell at the same time. I felt as deeply connected as any person could to my home as I felt completely distant from life here. It was my comfort solely through language and seeing other people struggle with me. 

Maybe I really was some sort of masochist who liked the idea of being left with nothing and satisfied with others being in that same position. It meant that nobody was better than anyone, we were all in the same shit-fest together. 

But, now I’m here and they’re out there. 

My connection feels broken, in a way that it was supposed to for a long time. 

Now having to venture out on my own and put everything into a world I don’t know anything about yet– it feels safer than being outside in my comfort space that has let me down. 

I feel lost, but it doesn’t scare me as much anymore. 

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

The car pulled up to some sort of cabin cruiser, a boat that he had never heard of before, at the base of a dock, bobbing calmly to the flow of the ocean. Right at the edge of where the boat and the dock met, a woman stood with arms pulled neatly behind her back. She made no move as the two men exited the car, eyes trained onto Yuta. 

Something about her gaze made him relax his shoulders, holding his bag more comfortably under his arm. 

“Happy that you made it back safely.” She spoke smoothly, her voice as languid as her demeanor. Mr. Choi came up and embraced her, a small exchange of words moving between the two of them in a language that Yuta wasn’t aware of. 

The intimacy of their touches brought a small level of discomfort to him that he couldn’t describe, forcing a smile when they parted and cupped each other’s faces. She pressed the tiniest of pecks to his cheek, as to not let her rouge color rub off onto his face. Mr. Choi’s smile was the widest it had ever been, ushering her over to where Yuta was still standing. 

“This is Nakamoto Yuta, the boy I’ve been telling you about. Yuta, this is Ms. Lee Siyeon.” 

A color shifted in her eyes as she met him, lips curving up sweetly as she came closer to him– similarly watching for any sort of discomfort in her approach. She was pleasantly surprised when she met none, reaching to take his hand between her jewel-covered fingers. Yuta’s eyebrow twitched as he met her eyes, goosebumps rising up on his skin as he felt something– another presence– not around his body, but inside of him. Like another person was living amongst him in his own brain.

It wasn’t malevolent in any way, instead peering around at the space that was being made for them and inevitably comforting him, as if sensing the pain that he was feeling for so long and soothing him with a warm hand and a gentle, safe hug. 

Each collection of memories diving and swam through the blackened space, with some overstaying their welcome as much as others. It was like they were taunting him, whilst at the same time telling him, “This is who you are. This is the life that you have chosen. There is nothing you can do to change or get rid of it.”

The loan sharks that stole away his childhood. 

His mother’s abandonment of his younger self. 

His father’s absence at every birthday party.

His grandmother’s passing. 

Losing his home and safe space.

Being tricked and thrown out on the street with barely any clothes to his name. 

Untouched pain and sorrows, plus more, surrounded him with thorn pricked arms and fingers, trying to swallow his voice and what was left of him that was desperate to crawl out. A wide, horrific grin-faced monster– who he didn’t know was hiding behind him the whole time, with its being wrapped around him like a blanket to never let any happiness in and no sadness, hurt and anger out. 

I will take care of you. You don’t have to worry anymore. Put everything that you are feeling inside of me. I will make sure you don’t have to feel it anymore.

The words echoed through the open space of his mind, hearing the bellowing screech of the monster behind him. From what? He wasn’t entirely sure, for the kind spirit didn’t allow him to look or see what it was. As the darkness faded from around him–chains lifted off of his fragile and frail body– he felt a hand guide him to the ground, wrapping him in something warm and holding him close to its body.

There was nothing that he could form to say thank you, but the spirit merely kissed at the top of his head and rocked him back and forth in a gentle hum. 

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

On the outside, tears began to drip down his face from the sentiment, the woman’s eyes forming crescents as small droplets fell from hers as well. She gravitated him into her embrace, cupping the back of his head for him to comfortably bury his head into her neck, heaving out more tears as she held him. 

It felt similar to what he imagined a hug would feel like from a mother, trying to comfort her son during a difficult time. It felt warm and soothing in a way that Yuta couldn’t place. But, whatever it was that made her embrace feel so safe, expelled more and more pain and anguish from out of his body. 

“My poor child. You have been through so much.” Her voice was laced with pain and worry, though he didn’t understand what she was saying to him. At the moment though, nothing else mattered to him. 

Stay in her arms, it's safe here. She’s safe.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

He wasn’t entirely sure how much time exactly had passed, or even how he had ended up inside of the boat with his head on her lap, only noticing the orange glow that had covered over the inside of the boat and Mr. Choi’s eyes that had fallen on him. 

“Ah, you’re awake now.” 

Yuta straightened himself almost immediately, a flush of pink flooding his cheeks. “How long have I been asleep for?” 

Siyeon cupped his cheek in her hand, bringing his attention to hers. “What matters most is that you got the rest that you deserved. How are you feeling now?” 

He racked his head to find anything that was reminiscent of what he had experienced earlier, but found that nothing was left in its wake. His mind had felt almost completely clear, though there were some things that lingered in his mind about what happened, but he tried not to think about it for the time being. 

“I feel..relaxed. I don’t– how did you do that?” He questioned, unable to find the words he was looking for. Siyeon merely smiled in response, tucking small pieces of his hair back behind his ears before creating distance between them. 

“We’ll discuss that more later. For now, let’s get you into your room and settle in.” 

The boat docked at a small circular port, framed with dandelions, clovers and sage, dancing against the gusts of wind erupting from the sides of the vehicle. Mr. Choi took Yuta’s bags as Siyeon helped to guide him up the stairs and onto the platform. He looked around in amazement at the land before him with an endless sea of grassland. There seemed to be a nonexistence of any sort of insect or animal that could cause any sort of immediate danger to anyone. 

Among the field, there were small groups of people, decked in lavender and baby blue sundresses and hats decorated with the same flowers as those from the dock. They stopped their work to wave towards him, smiles shining bright over what was left of the late evening sun. 

They approached another white, clear staircase, venturing up them slowly– Mr. Choi and Siyeon respectively holding onto Yuta as support, lest his legs become weak out of how high up they were traveling. 

Everything in this world had seemed so dream-like, yet familiar to him in some way.

The elevator welcomed him with a warm glow and a plush seat for him to sit in while they began their descent. Siyeon kept a watchful eye on him as the ground became nothing more than a blur of green before turning completely white. From there, he saw nothing else but puffy white clouds. 

Coming to a slow and complete stop, the elevator doors pulled apart to a spotless tiled floor and a long open corridor. Other people were waiting for them outside, with their positions similar to the way that Siyeon’s was earlier. 

“Here, take this.” Mr. Choi placed a small piece of something that looked similar to gum in Yuta’s hand. “It’ll help with the pressure. But, chew it slowly so your eardrums don’t burst from the sudden flood of noise.” He exited the elevator first, handing off the bags to someone with a small smile on his face. A gentle hand connected with his back and ushered him out of the elevator and onto the floors.

Everyone seemed as friendly as the ones that he had seen downstairs, except more clean cut and professional. All of their expressions and words filled his heart with a level of joy he wasn’t sure what to do with. 

Should he be happy or scared by all the kindness being directed at him?

Welcome home, Yuta.

It came out not how Yuta had expected it to be. It felt like a reunion of long lost friends, who had been away from each other for so long. 

They knew nothing about him, at least not more than maybe what Mr. Choi had relayed to him, but they treated him like he was family. He was no more than another person within the group that they had shared common passings with. 

He felt like he knew them.

He was one of them, and he always had been in their eyes. 

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

Day 7  of my new life

Mizu ni nagasu. 

The water flows. 

You must learn to live and move on from the bad things that have destroyed you, for they don’t make up every ounce of your being unless you let them. 

Ms. Lee has taught me so much about myself since I’ve been here– though it was hard for me to listen to any of it. 

I had been conditioned to believe, for so long, that I don’t deserve anything that I’ve gotten. I wasn’t as strong as I believed myself to be and that, because my life was so different from everyone else’s, that I wasn’t meant to live prosperously. 

My parents had done everything wrong with their lives and that meant that I had to be punished for being the closest thing to revenge as the world could seek now that they’re gone. 

But, that’s only if I believe for that to happen. If I give my power and energy to some flesh-eating monster to destroy me from the inside out, then it will happen that way. 

If I let it be, then it will follow exactly that. 

The truth is, I was never that person. I was born for so many different things in life that I never thought was possible. 

I know so much more now than I have my whole life. Regardless of how everything else turns out, I will be the truest version of myself that I can ever be. I will purge myself of the things that make me feel so much sorrow and let myself feel happy again on my own terms. 

I won’t let myself succumb to it again. 

I am me. I will be me. 

Unapologetically me. 

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

Deep breath in and out. 

Yuta stared at his own reflection. It was still taking him some time to adjust to the person that looked back at him– glancing over every feature of his face and body for any lingering reminiscents of his past that would bring him back down to “reality”. 

She cautioned you not to do that. Be happy with where you are. Focus on the now. 

He adjusted his hair for what felt like the 19th time since he had gotten dressed. The suit had been specifically tailored to fit his frame in the most flattering manner than he could have expected. They had put a little bit of flush and makeup to his cheeks to make his appearance more radiant for the photos.

He resisted the urge to wipe the corner of his hands onto the expensive dress pants, afraid that he would cause it to wrinkle. 

Is this the type of thing that he has to worry about now?

Eyes still locked onto himself in the mirror, he relaxed his face muscles, moving them accordingly to what he believed would be the “most photogenic”, though he wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. He was sure that it would come to him naturally, as it did for other people around his age, yet every face that he made didn’t seem right. 

Smiling too much makes him look like those horror movie posters that were hung outside of movie theaters. 

Not smiling enough made him look like he was going to burn the whole world to the ground. 

Was he supposed to look this threatening or scary? 

No, there’s no way that could be right. 

He was startled from his thoughts by a sharp knock on the door to his dressing room. 

“Yuta, are you almost ready? I’d like to see you in the outfit before you take your photo.” 

He snagged as many tissues as he could to wipe off the sweat that had collected in the palms of his hands and forehead, tossing them into the nearest bin before pulling the door open. 

Mr. Choi stood there, dressed a bit more business casual than he was, with slightly widened, amazed eyes. 

You look..so handsome, more than I could ever think you could look. 

Those words never passed Mr. Choi’s lips, though he somehow must have communicated them through his eyes, making Yuta push him back lightly with his hand out of embarrassment. 

“Stop staring at me so hard. Does it look okay or not?” 

The man knew that Yuta didn’t mean for the words to come out as harsh as they did, smiling at his flustered appearance. 

He took his time moving around his body and checking over every inch of his outfit to make sure nothing was out of place or fitting strangely before he made his way back to Yuta’s front side. His hands came up, only coming in contact to fix his tie when he had received a silent nod of approval. He smoothed the fabric down, lifting his eyes to look at the still slightly flushed man through his lashes. 

“You look perfect.” 

There was something about the way that his words flowed that made Yuta turn slightly away from him, clearing his throat to bypass the oncoming embarrassment that was threatening to creep up his bones again. Or maybe it was the gentle, yet charming look in his eyes with an equally sweet smile that made him feel like he would melt into the floor if he looked at them a bit longer. 

Regardless of the way that he was feeling, the man never pushed or teased him about it. Taking two steps down the staircase leading to the room, he held out a waiting hand, noting the damn near precious look that the boy gave to him. 

“Do you really think I’ll look okay–I mean I’ve never taken a picture like this before. I’m not sure I know what I’m doing-” 

He let out a small yelp from being ceremoniously pulled closer to the man, eyes widened at the amount of space that was left between them. The second time they had been this close, that Mr. Choi had broken that space between them that he had created since the beginning. 

Instead speaking over his fears, the man led Yuta into the studio down the hall, where others had been waiting for him to arrive. He kept close to him, checking to make sure that he was comfortable with everything that was being said or changed in his appearance in front of the camera. Only once they were settled on the way that he was positioned did he finally move back behind the photographer.

“Just relax and be natural!” The photographer’s voice echoed in the small empty space of the white room. 

Feeling sweat collecting in his palms, Yuta clenched them in his pocket, hoping to god that none of it would begin to drip down his face as a bunch of eyes watched him pose on the standing block, shifting and adjusting his body by the photographer’s orders. 

Among all of the attention, his eyes connected with Mr. Choi, who merely looked back and smiled at him– the same genuine and undeniably sweet smile that he knew. 

He always seemingly knew everything that there was to make him feel some level of comfort– during times when he wished the world would disappear and take him with it. Or even in his moments of complete elation that were hard to navigate himself down from–the entire world was just too overwhelming to handle. 

He was there, even if Yuta didn’t know it. 

He believed in Yuta– with no real rhyme or reason– but trusting his gut told him that the homeless Nara boy, coming from nothing, would be the key to their success and the blossoming of a beautiful future.

Because of his belief and everything that he risked, Yuta stood in front of all those people, eyes locked onto him with upturned lips, presenting the most gorgeous smile that he could have ever thought he could muster. 

Ganbatte ne, Yuta-chan. 

Ganbatte ne!

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

Oh, don’t give up, don’t cry. When you feel like you’ll disappearListen to your own voice and keep moving forwardNo matter how old you are, you can’t get through life without some sadnessLet everyone see you smile and go on livingGo on living

Hello to the person reading this letterI wish you all the happiness in the world

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: @atiny-piratequeen

[songmingisthighs]

Missing Out

group : ateez

pairing : dilf!mingi × reader

genre : smut

wc : 4.1 k

tw : mdni, explicit smut; daddy kink, teasing, dirty talk, age gap (mingi's like mayhaps at least a decade older, but both are still within legal limits), thigh riding, spitting, alcohol consumption (not to the point of being drunk, it's just for vibes and... spitting lmao),

a/n : frfr i hope he doesn't see this fic because God i would not be able to defend myself. tbh i planned on posting this on mingi's bitthday but i got shit happening to me. shit without my consent and I'm just trying to ride the stress like gandalf hopped up on cocaine riding smaug. so ykw i decided to post this on my birthday instead lmao. special thanks to @kitten4sannie for listening to me drop some ideas while i was on a road trip, i did some adjustments but it's still sexually frustrated dilf!mingi this fic is finally out so i hope you and everyone enjoy it <3

a/n/n : i take no responsibilities for any calf cramp that may or may not happen but alyssa, i still blame you for the great leg cramp at ass o'clock

a/n/n/n : my birthday sucks because it felt more like public service than anything but i got ticket to go to singapore again so i'll be reunited with my little brother and little sisters soon✌️ i'm raising money for my mental wellbeing which is so totally code for i'm trying to find a way to make my shituation better by making myself just the slightest bit happier after today's shenanadoodles

buy me coffee ?

After the day Mingi had, the cold drink in his hand felt like the reward he deserved. It was only then that Mingi realized why people always say that the Family Court is rough. Still, of course, it was extra rough for him because his ex-wife, the horned creature incarnate (a goat, not the devil), had dragged his name through the mud just to get the maximum alimony because she was a narcissistic bum with no life skill to fall back to as if Mingi was the one who told her to quit her job as a dental hygienist when they first got married.

During the mediation meetings and court proceedings, she took all of the potshots she could While no one took her seriously, it still pained Mingi because the more she and her lawyer attacked him, calling out all of his insecurities and questioning his character, the more obvious it was that Mingi had wasted 9 years of his life on this loser and he missed out on all of the marital milestones. The main sore spot was having kids. She argued that putting her body through pregnancy was out of the question because there were risks that could cause her body to look weird in the future and it's inhumane how a woman's body had to contort in such a way to accommodate another living being. But when her breast implant popped when she slammed the car door too hard, it was 'a normal occurrence'.

As much as his friend Yunho told him not to, Mingi couldn't help but wallow in the time he absolutely WASTED on the bitch only to be screwed over. The only good thing that came out of the divorce was the fact that he got out of it without having to pay alimony because his ex-wife had become too cocky with her cards. But still, Mingi had to give her the car, the savings account (that wasn't much compared to anything considering she had drained it to accommodate her filler addiction and alcohol dependency), and Tony Son, their personal trainer, the one thing Mingi could credit her because she had been the one who introduced him to the man who was able to sculpt his body to perfection.

"Is this seat taken?"

Mingi snapped his head to the side to see a woman younger than he, dressed in a tight-bodiced red sparkly dress that showed just enough cleavage for it to be classy rather than trashy and the A-line satin skirt stopped just three fingers width atop her knees. Slowly, Mingi nodded and gestured to the seat on his right side wordlessly. It wasn't until the woman flagged down the bartender and ordered her drink did Mingi questioned why she sat next to him when there were other seats in the bar.

"So, are you alone?" she asked, striking up a conversation with Mingi which honestly caught him by surprise because he had been told that he had a resting bitch face that doubled in intensity when he wasn't in the mood and he was doubling in his bad mood. "Yeah... I am, so..." his words allude to him wanting to be alone, but there was something about the person next to him that intrigued him so much so that his eyes seemed to be glued to her. Just the sight of her drinking her vodka cranberry made Mingi's eyes travel from her face down to her lap, watching the way she moved so gracefully. "So... You don't mind my asking why a man as handsome as you are would be sitting alone with a scowl on his face," she pointed out, forcing Mingi to consciously unfurrow his eyebrows and fake taking a sip of his drink, "I'm not scowling, I'm just tired and pissed off for wasting 9 years on a selfish bitch that deprived me of anything I want in life," he spat venomously, even the slight mention of his ex sent a really unpleasant taste in his mouth. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?" She pouted, inching closer to Mingi as somewhat of a signal. Noticing this, Mingi scoffed and shook his head but he still entertained the woman, "Got a time machine to help me undo the past 9 years?" "No, but maybe I can give you what your ex couldn't."

You couldn't help but bite your bottom lip when the look of shock on Mingi's face melted into intrigue. You had been watching him for an hour, sitting all alone, nursing his one drink as he toyed with his ring before chucking it into his breast pocket. Thank God he did because you were not about to approach a potentially spoken-for man. It took you a while to get substantial evidence of his status and it wasn't just because you were distracted by his plump ass in those slacks and the matching suit jacket and slightly unbuttoned black dress shirt didn't help your case.

"Little girl, I think I'm a bit too... Far for your reach," Mingi pointed out, raising an eyebrow at you as he wasn't sure that you knew what you were offering him. Mirroring him, you raised your eyebrow and shifted so that you faced him fully as you raised one leg and cross it over the other, successfully inviting Mingi to get a glimpse of more skin. "You don't know me or what I can do, sir," you smirked challengingly, now openly inviting him to poke you further.

You were delighted when you saw Mingi's jaw clench and throat bob after you called him sir. It was proof to you that Mingi had some sort of inclination of being in control and his little confession about not getting what he wanted from his ex-wife might be a glimpse of the kind of fun you could get from him. So without hesitation, you decided that you were going home with him.

Surprisingly, Mingi responded positively by leaning in to cup your chin and pull you close, just a wispy breath away from having your lips meet and you so desperately wanted to taste his because they just looked so damn juicy and plump. "You don't want to know all the things I've been deprived of... Baby." Your eyes darken and your legs crossed tighter to suppress the sudden arousal washing over your core, excited at the confirmation that Mingi was playing into your games just as you had wanted. All you needed to do was lock this down. So you let your hand lay on his thigh, squeezing it suggestively and enjoying the feeling of his muscle tensing underneath you each time your hand slid closer to his crotch to the point that your nail was scratching the inner side of his thigh just right. Despite being physically affected by you, Mingi still maintained eye-contact, daring you to poke his button just right.

"Yes, I do... Daddy."

In the blink of an eye, Mingi smashed his lips on you and all of the oxygen was knocked out of your lungs in one go. His lips were soft but the way he used them was rough yet calculated. You could taste the smoky whiskey on his tongue as he slipped it inside your mouth. Little did you know, he too, was enjoying the way you tasted. Your lip gloss had a sweetness to it that made him wonder if you're the type to plan things or if it was just a happy coincidence. He also took note of how you allowed him to lead you and the more he asserted himself onto you with every nibble of his lip and every caress of his tongue, showing that you're more on the submissive side and he likes it. A lot. The more you felt pleasure, the more you pleasured him back as evidenced by your hand rubbing against his raging boner.

Mingi smirked at the way you whimpered when he finally pulled away from you to slap a couple bills on the counter before he got off the stool, pulling you along with him. You wobbled slightly but Mingi immediately pulled you flush on his chest and despite having just made out with him, you found the gesture very hot. "Wanna go see if you can keep up with the list of things I missed out on?"

─── ･ ｡��☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Mingi must be some kind of a business owner because no way he would have had a rather impressive office where you found yourself in. Well, on top of him on his couch, grinding your panty-less core against his thigh with your top down, allowing the older man to ogle at your tits as you tried to make yourself cum.

"Is that the best you can do?" Mingi taunted, circling his crystal glass which produced a tinkling sound from the ice in the drink he poured as soon as you reached his home. "Daddy, I want you to touch me," you whined but your hip was still relentlessly moving after making a big deal of how his thighs were so strong and you wanted to sit on them like a throne. So instead of just sitting, Mingi told you to make yourself useful and prep your pussy without his help and he wanted you to do it by riding his thigh. His thick, glorious thigh. "Don't you want to touch me, daddy?" you teased, cupping your boobs and tweaking your own nipples whilst throwing your head back, making a show out of it just to get Mingi to touch you. Sure, Mingi was intrigued, but he knew damn well that he was holding the reigns and he had to hold himself back from jumping at the opportunity to completely ravish you too soon. "I do, baby, but you're being a brat right now and refusing to listen to me. Had I wanted that, I would've stayed with my ex-wife." Your head snapped back up at the mention of his ex-wife and you glared at his smug smirking face, "You have me half naked on your lap and you still mentioned your ex-wife?" you gathered your skirt in your hand, exposing your cunt to Mingi's eyes and slowed your pace to a prolonged drag that left long, dark stain courtesy of your arousal.

Finding your petulance adorable, Mingi chuckled and pulled you in for a searing kiss with one hand cupping your chin and the other slapping you on the ass as if telling you to speed up your movement. "You're an adorable little doll and I'm gonna break you," he muttered against your lips before you could reply to him, Mingi tugged your hair back as he casually took a sip from his drink. The action made you yelp and Mingi swiftly leaned over and spit the drink into your mouth and clamped your jaw shut. "Swallow," he commanded and as you came down from being surprised, you stared into Mingi's eyes. At first, you only stared at him, feigning defiance just for fun and Mingi found that both intriguing and annoying. His grip moved to tightly grasp your jaw and he growled, "Swallow. It." He demanded in a stern voice that made your panties more damp as your cunt clench, leaving you unable to do anything more than whine and swallow the burning liquid. Mingi found you very mesmerizing even on an act as simple as you taking heed of his words. The stray spit and alcohol that trickled from the corners of your lips enhanced the glimmer of your smudged lipstick and lipgloss combo, turning Mingi on with how effortlessly sultry you looked. He was down and he was down bad. He wasn't even sure if he was down because Once the liquid was no longer there, you rolled out your tongue to proudly show your obedience and Mingi let out a shuddered breath seeing you just blindly following his orders like the good puppet you are.

"Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me."

In a flash, Mingi flipped you both around so that you were trapped underneath him with your head strategically on the armrest. The elevation allowed you to watch as Mingi dragged a hand down your body as if you were a work of art. "All this time... I was missing a lot all this time, that bitch took nine years out of me and gave me nothing," Mingi shuddered both in anger and in arousal. The contrasting thoughts between being so angry at his former partner and the excitement of being rewarded by being able to ravish you felt like waves crashing inside him. It was thrilling. It was exciting. It got his adrenaline pumping and God, he felt alive. "Poor baby," you purred all the while slowly popping the buttons of his dress shirt off to reveal the soft skin underneath, "You're so frustrated, It's a good thing I'm here now huh?"

You swung your leg up and used the tip of your toe to tilt Mingi's chin upwards maintaining a somewhat neutral expression but the twinkle in your eyes indicated clear intrigue. "Tell me all the things you want to do. What do you want most?" the question made Mingi roll his eyes back and he grabbed your leg by your ankle. "You nasty slut, you want to have an older cock so bad you're enticing me with empty promises, huh?" He mumbled against the skin of your leg, trailing his lips down from the heel and lower to your calf as his body followed down until he eventually stopped at the mid-section of your inner thigh. You helped him by flipping your skirt up, exposing your cunt wholly to him and slotting the leg you lifted on his shoulder, "Empty promises? I want to give you whatever you want daddy, and in order for me to be able to do that, I need to know what it is."

Thinking that he had nothing to lose anyway, Mingi smirked and decided to test you. "I want a baby," he stated, "I want to put my baby in you," he said oh so casually as if he hadn't had his fingers poking and prodding your cunt like they just belonged there. Truthfully speaking, Mingi was expecting you to push him off and ran away screaming because what kind of a hookup just casually dropped a bomb as big as he did?

But it seemed like Mingi's luck was turning around for the better because you replied by reaching forward to free his cock from his pants, trying as best as you could to suppress the surprise at Mingi's size (but failing as evidenced by the way your eyes bulged slightly and your tongue peeking out to lick your bottom lip in hunger) before you leaned back and opened your legs widely as an invitation for him. "Then do it, fuck me so hard and dumb and deep that I'd have no other choice but to have your baby," you smiled up at him. Mingi could only stare at you in shock initially, not really knowing what you meant until you whined and pulled him closer using the leg that was hooked on his shoulder. "Daddy, don't make me wait too long. Come on, put a baby in me!" you pleaded, cunt throbbing with eagerness to feel Mingi's cock stretching you now that you already caught a glimpse.

The shock melted away from Mingi's face and even as he was guiding his cock to your core, he was still carefully watching your face, not wanting to waste any twitch or shift in your face from feeling him but also he was trying to be careful in case you showed him any indication of regret or if you changed your mind. But the way you whined and rolled your hips so your wet cunt could meet his cock more gave him the green light.

"You dirty slut," Mingi grunted before he shoved his length inside you in one fluid movement. The accumulating arousal from you riding his thigh provided proper lubrication but his sheer size was not something you're used to so your body tensed up at the impact. "F-fuck, daddy, y-you-" "Am I tearing you apart, baby? Are you being split into two on daddy's fat cock?" he asked in faux worry that was just him being condescending towards you. But you don't care, you found it hot even when he talked down to you as if you were nothing but his plaything. "Yes, yes, daddy, I'm being split open on your cock but I love it! I love it so much!" you moaned, hands clawing at his skin, causing red streaks to appear from the pressure of your nails, "Fuck, I want more!"

With that, Mingi pushed your legs up by your thighs, exposing more of your lower half to him. "Be daddy's good girl and hold these open, I wanna see your pussy taking my cock raw," he hissed, eyes zeroing on the way your puffy lips split open to accommodate his size. Carefully, as if assessing a great piece of art, Mingi watched attentively The view almost brought tears to his eyes but he channeled the somewhat endearing moment into fucking you stupid into the mattress.

Each drag of Mingi's cock felt like fire against your inner walls. Although there was a slight discomfort with each movement, the added pleasure of being filled like you had never before made you addicted.

If you thought you were enjoying yourself, Mingi was very close to combusting and he was trying his best to not cum too soon as he didn't wanna be branded as the geezer who came too early. But he couldn't help it, not with the way both his ego and his cock were stroked. It was as if you were made for him and he felt that the moment he entered your sopping cunt. So Mingi shifted his focus to you instead, working to get you to cum first.

"Come on baby, cum for daddy. I need you to cum first so you'd be ripe and open for me to fill you up," Mingi huffed, pressing his pointy nose against the junction of your neck that sent tingles down your spine, "We need to do our best to make sure that you'd be good and pregnant, right?" The weight of his words caused your head to spin as the thought of him filling you full for his own pleasure filled your mind. "Yes, yes daddy, make me cum please," you whined into his ears, your body reacting almost automatically by rolling your hips against his own to match his speed and desire. Mingi growled hungrily and his pace quickened significantly as the impact got harder. You were sure that after this your ass would be different shades of red and blue but you couldn't care less. Especially if Mingi wanted to do more rounds with you, you'd gladly wear the bruises like a badge of honor.

"Fuck, you're so hot like this, you're so hot when you're willing and submissive for me," Mingi grunted, even verging on whining into your ears because you just felt so good to him but he held firm, "Are you close, baby? Are you cumming soon?" Lucky for him, you nodded hurriedly, confirming that you were close. Your brain had been marinating in the dizzying arousal that it was embarrassingly quick for you to nearly reach your climax in a rather short time. However, your response was deemed lacking to Mingi who wanted to hear a verbal response from you. Mingi was quick to slap you hard on your left tit as a punishment, feeling the need to chastise you for simplifying your response.

The words died on Mingi's tongue and his hips sharply halted to a stop when he saw you yelp and shudder before coming completely undone underneath him, writhing pathetically as your nails grazed his skin, leaving red streaks for Mingi to show off for days on end. His eyes darken when he saw tears pooled in your own eyes before dropping, creating the illusion of your eyes sparkling which served a rather complex combination of innocence and sinful. "M-M- Daddy," you whimpered in almost a hushed tone, barely comprehensible but to Mingi the sound was thunderous in Mingi's ears, ringing, because his baby girl needed him. His baby girl wanted him. His baby girl who's willing to give him anything he could ask for was longing for him. So who is he to deny you?

Seeing you in such a vulnerable state seemed to unlock something primal in Mingi because while you were reeling down from your orgasm, Mingi was instead put into some sort of a trance. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, slightly hoping that he could taste your sweetness in the air, and his hips restarted with a pace so hard and quick, for a moment you forgot that Mingi was a human.

The pleasure from your orgasm tripled with the additional friction continuously given by Mingi whose head was flooded with the thought of truly possibly getting you pregnant from this first time. Not that he was planning on only fucking you once, not after he felt how good you made him feel both emotionally and physically. He was planning to pamper you to death and maybe that was the sexually frustrated side in him but he didn't care, he didn't care how crazy he was because you were the one who made him crazy.

The sound of hips snapping together in a rhythm accompanied by your drunk-like moans sounded like a symphony in Mingi's ears. "F-fuck baby, I'm gonna fill you up now," Mingi grunted, his eyes closing and his forehead dropping to your shoulder, "I'm gonna fill you up with my seed to the brim and you're gonna be a good girl and keep it all in so my baby can grow safely inside of you, okay?" He whispered so intimately against your shoulder that both your lips and cunt wept. You wouldn't be surprised if there was a pool underneath you after you were done and you won't hesitate to ask for more. "Cum, daddy. Cum inside me. Fill me up so hard and full like you promised me!" You whined, your hands snaking around his shoulders to hold tight as the overstimulation caused a tingling pain that made your toes curl while Mingi was getting such a high from his ego being fed.

"Fuck, baby girl, this is it, I'm gonna put my baby in you!" Mingi grunted and thrusted, once, twice, thrice, before his hips stuttered and you felt a gush of warmth spilling deep inside your cunt. The physical feeling of being filled up made your eyes roll into your head and the realization of what just happened made you blush as if you weren't whoring for his cock not 10 minutes ago.

As Mingi slowly came down from his high, his mind cleared up and he was able to pepper kisses from your shoulders, up your neck, along your jawline, and then gently all over your face. The contrast of the sweetness of the older man and the nasty act you both just did made you suddenly turn all giggly and shy. "Aww, come on, are you trying to get away from me?" Mingi smirked, trying to chase another kiss from your lips but you kept dodging him, "That's pretty absurd considering I still have my cock inside of you, plugging you full." Your eyes widened at the vulgarity of his chosen words and you couldn't help but smack him on the shoulder but fail to hold back a giggle, "Don't say it like that!" "Like what? Like the way it is?" Mingi teased, pushing himself up to trail a finger on your stomach which made your breath hitch and your muscle to tense, "I need to make sure you really do get pregnant so you can give me my baby just like I wanted," his voice trailed as his fingers drew patterns on your skin almost lovingly and the nonsensical side of you wanted to believe that he was showing his affection to you. You figured that there was only one way to find out.

Without missing a beat, you took his finger that was tracing your skin into your mouth and start licking around as if it was a lollipop, effectively causing Mingi's attention to shift to your face and his cock to twitch inside you. "Who said we're only gonna try this once, daddy? You're gonna fuck me as much as you like until I'm good and pregnant."

The smirk that bloomed on Mingi's face was devilish and almost menacing, showing his genuine intention to get wamhat he wanted.

"I hope you'd never ask. I'm gonna fuck you all night long and you're gonna be a good girl and take it all with no complaint."

As if you'd say no.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

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[evenyvn]

All You ; part 02

Idol!San x SingleMom!Reader

Summary : San's visits to the quiet restaurant grow more frequent, drawn by something—or someone—he can’t quite name. A casual conversations with the owner's teasing smile stir something in him, but it’s her little daughter's innocent words that truly shake him.

Cw : she/her reader, sfw, fluff, third person POV, a little smau at the end, downbad san, reader has a daughter, stranger to lovers, un-established relationship (san thought reader are still married), san is girl dad coded, yn feeding san like he didn't eat for a week (lmao)

prev — masterlist — next

San found himself frequenting the cozy little restaurant over the next few days. It had quickly become his favorite escape—a warm place where the food was delicious, the air smelled like comfort, and the company was even better.

He'd grown close to both Hana and her mom—Y/N. They welcomed him like family, and San, without realizing it, began craving the simplicity he found within those four walls. The humble atmosphere somehow reminds him of home—of his family back in Namhae.

Today, he sat at his usual spot on a table near the counter, sipping on warm tea while waiting for Hana to come home from school. Y/N was wiping down the counter when San finally worked up the nerve to ask something that had been lingering in his mind since their first meeting.

"Hey, uh... can I ask you something?" San began, swirling the tea in his cup.

Y/N looked up, curious. "Of course."

"Back when we first met, you said, 'I know.' What did you mean by that?"

A small smirk tugged at her lips. "Ah, that. I recognized you. You’re an idol, right? From that group called... ATEEZ?" San blinked in surprise. "Wait—you know ATEEZ?"

"Oh I know of you. You're from KQ just right on the corner of the street from here right? some of my customers work as a staff there and sometimes play your songs and talk about your groups during break hours. I don’t really follow idols, but I know a few names. Including you."

San rubbed the back of his neck bashfuly, trying to hide the pink rising to his ears. "I know this might sound a bit weird... but who’s your bias?"

Y/N tilted her head, pretending to ponder seriously. "Hmm... Wooyoung. He's adorable." She said with a playful grin making San gasped dramatically, eyes wide with betrayal. "Wooyoung?!"

Y/N laughed as she slid a small dessert plate toward him. "What? He's got that cheeky charm from what I've heard."

San pouted, but the moment his eyes landed on the dessert, his expression brightened like a child on Christmas morning.

"Eat a lot, San. You're still young," Y/N said teasingly making the pout on his face came again. "I'm not that much younger than you, noona."

She raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile. "Still older than you." San raised both hands in surrender, grinning. "Fine, you win."

They shared a light laugh before Y/N stepped away to the kitchen. San stay seated, picking at his dessert and glancing around the space. The restaurant felt even more homely now—he could name most of the regulars, and there was always a seat saved just for him.

At one point, Y/N reemerged and placed a freshly made roll in front of him. "Try this. I'm testing a new recipe."

San took a bite, eyes lighting up. "Oh, this is amazing. You should definitely add it to the menu." Y/N beamed at his words, "I was hoping you'd say that. Your taste is starting to matter here, San." She said as she walked back to the kitchen.

Before he could say more, the door flew open and Hana burst in, her hello kitty backpack bouncing with each excited step. "Uncle San!!"

San turned just in time to catch her as she jumped into his arms. He lifted her with ease, spinning her once before setting her down with a warm chuckle. "Hey, princess! How was school?"

"It was fun! I drew a picture of a big dragon and I got a star sticker from my teacher!" Hana began rambling about her day, words tumbling over each other in excitement.

San listened intently, occasionally nodding, but every now and then, his gaze drifted behind the counter to Y/N, who was busy wiping a plate, completely unaware of the attention.

There's something in San's eyes whenever they set on the woman, there's crystal clear admiration and perhaps awestruck look on his face.

Hana noticed.

She stopped mid-sentence, squinting up at him suspiciously, "You like eomma, don't you?" San choked. "Yes—I mean, what?? No! I mean i do like her but not in like that-"

Hana raised a suspicious eyebrow as she playfully poked San's dimple. "So you don't like her?" He flailed slightly, embarrassed. "W-what even makes you say that?"

She shrugged. "You make the same face my friend Eunji does when she looks at the boy she likes." San opened his mouth, then closed it again, completely lost for words.

He doesn't like Y/N... does he?

San shakes his head, what was he thinking?? he can't have a silly crush over someone who's married let alone with kid at that!

While San having an inner turmoil with himself—Hana just beamed innocently. "It's okay! I like eomma too! Everyone likes eomma. She's the best eomma in the world!"

San smiled, secretly sighing in relief and heart melting at the little girl's innocence. He ruffled her hair softly. "Yeah... I think you're right about that."

A little later, after Hana was off doing her homework in the corner booth, Y/N returned with another plate—this time, something sweet and warm.

"Is this for me too?" San asked with a playful tone.

"You keep helping out around here and keeping my daughter company. It’s the least I can do," Y/N said, her eyes soft.

San helped clean up some trays as the afternoon sun spilled golden light into the restaurant. He was humming softly to one of his group’s ballads when Y/N paused mid-step and chuckled. "You really can't escape music, can you?"

San grinned sheepishly. "Not really. It's kind of in my DNA now."

Y/N leaned against the counter and watched him for a moment. "It must be strange, going from all that attention and chaos to this little restaurant. Not many people came in here, only regulars and occasionally new curious people"

San looked around, then back at her. "Honestly? I think I like this kind of quiet more."

Their eyes lingered for a beat too long before San looked away first, cheeks faintly pink. Y/N seems aware of San's bashfulness just smile teasingly at the younger man.

And somewhere behind them, Hana peeked from her homework—mischievous smile on her lips as she whispered to herself, "He definitely likes eomma..."

taglist : @sunnysidesins @spenceatiny18 @flambychan @dumplingsyum @iwuberic @kirilunimimi @thedistractedwriter @d3kstar @rosydipity

honestly this series is just something that i didn't really mean to continue lmao so i didn't expect so many people enjoyed it and even asked to be tagged, nonetheless it really means alot to me🥹🫶

taglist are closed!

divider by @.adornedwithlight | likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated ♡

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

CODE L-O-V-E

Chapter One: crUSh

❥ ATEEZ x fem reader

Preparing to be an idol isn't easy, but you didn't expect it to be. Endless hours of practice, unlimited amounts of pressure from every eye on you, stereotypes to fit yourself into, all of that was expected. What was not expected, however, is the co-workers you can't seem to shake.

➽-❥in this chapter: Your first few days with the official status "pre-debut" go... semi-smoothly(?) and you find yourself bonding with your members and your co-workers. (Mingi, Yeosang, and Seonghwa focused with appearances from San, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung.)

➯a/n: what can i say... seriously what can i say to make myself look sane lmao BUT YALL VOTED ON THIS AND IT WAS OVERWHELMINGLY "yeas", so enjoy it ya filthy animals! this is just the tippy top of the iceberg, buckle up

♫ "The code is L-O-V-E!" ♫

✫彡wordcount: 10.5k

♡'･ᴗ･'♡genre: SLOW burn yandere

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: SLOW BURN, yall this is so slow im warning you, korean culture, brief description of a light injury, self doubt, ateez don't know what the words "personal space" mean, falling fast and hard, playful teasing, yandere tendencies are just a whisper in this chapter but they'll quickly start YELLING 🚩

MDNI

➯a/n 2: this is a bit different than my previous stories because the life of a kpop idol is very public, and thus a lot of information has to be known about the reader(who is becoming an idol) but i also want all of my stories to be as inclusive as possible !! so here is the baseline information: reader is 22, no description of race or appearance in general other than shorter than hwa and mingi, from a war-torn country(unspecified, more to come later), has distant relatives in korea (again, unspecified: related by marriage or adoption is probably the case), speaks fluent korean(as well as english and some chinese), is a musical prodigy, and is generally ambi-verted and a natural leader

✩index: sunbae(nim) - a senior or mentor higher in the social hierarchy and having more experience than you. hubae(nim) - someone with less experience than you. unnie - a casual term for women to call another older than them. hyung - a casual term for males to call another older than them. ssi - someone on the same level as you but slightly older or younger. nim - used at the end of someone's name or title to show respect. ahjumma - a middle aged woman.

dialogue not spoken in korean will be italics, singing/rapping will be romanized and bold, texts or writing will be smaller.

with all of that finally out of the way... let the journey begin !

⋆.ೃ:･달려가 CRUSH ON YOU𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

The beginning of the rest of your life is behind this door.

     You're finally losing your training wheels and moving into the big leagues so to speak, even though the company you now officially work for is relatively small. One year, six months, and seven days after you were accepted, you were properly set to debut.

    You were bouncing off of the walls at the news last night, nearly unable to sleep from your excitement. So why, now, are you standing infront of the door to the practice room unable to move?

    Jisu, your manager, informed you that the group that was being built would be called 'crUSh'. And that was the name on the little plaque next to the room.

    "Is it locked?"

    "Oh my god!" You yell, startled from your trance as you quickly turn to face the voice. 

    A few long steps away is an imposingly tall man that you immediately recognize as Song Mingi from the few times he'd came to help trainees with their rap and dance.

    "I'm so sorry," you bow repeatedly, making the man chuckle, "you startled me."

    "It's okay," he offers softly as he extends his hand, "Mingi, ATEEZ."

   "Ah, nice to formally meet you," you shake his hand eagerly, hoping to make a good impression — minus the fact that he had seen you having a staring contest with a door. "Ye (Y/n), crUSh."

    "You're the first one to get here I think," he takes a look into the empty room as he joins your side, his arm brushing against your shoulder, "should I get the keys? They should have unlocked it-"

    Before he can walk away, you muster up the courage to admit, "I haven't tried the door yet."

   "Uh? Well why not?"

    You look down at the floor as he looks down at you, awaiting your answer as you bite your cheek, "it still doesn't feel real."

   He makes a noise of understanding, nodding as he inspects you casually, "how long have you been a trainee, Ye-ssi?"

   "One year, six months, and seven days." He raises his eyebrows at the quickness with which you answer, making you laugh a little and a joke, "but who's counting, right?"

    He smiles at you before looking to the door again, "well, I think you've more than earned this then, right?" He turns the doorknob and swings the door open slowly. "Welcome to KQ, officially," he can't help but smile wider as you step in hesitantly, giving him another bow as you pass.

     There's a sparkle in your eyes that doesn't go unnoticed by your new co-worker. The same sparkle he sees in Hongjoongs eyes when he's producing, in Yunho when he's dancing, in all of them while they perform. The glint of passion.

     "Mingi-ya!!"

    He's a bit sad to see the shine in your eyes gone when you blink at the sound, turning away from admiring the room to face him, "ah, I'm sorry, Mingi-nim, I probably kept your members waiting on you."

    "Don't worry about it," he waves you off with a chuckle, "Wooyoung is on his fourth coffee so I had to get away before he blew out my ear drums."

    It takes you a few fleeting seconds before you fully translate what he said, and then you hold your hand over your mouth to stop the snort of laughter that leaves you. He leans against the doorway with a grin, looking you over again.

    "Song Mingi! Where are you? Don't make me come after you!"

    "Ah, well," he begins as he pushes off the wall and reaches for your hand again, "I should go before they come looking and bombard you. If you need anything, our practice room is just two doors over. I look forward to seeing what you can do."

    "Thank you, Mingi-nim," you shake his hand again and bow, "I'll do my best."

    "I don't doubt it."

   He spins to leave you to your own devices, catching himself leaning back before he goes, "and Ye-ssi?"

   "Uh?" You look up to him as you take your small backpack off, already itching to warm up.

    "You don't have to call me that," he flashes you a gummy smile that almost makes you swoon, "Mingi-ssi is okay with me. We both worked hard to get here."

    "Ah, okay, okay," you nod quickly, not wanting to offend him by being overly formal, "thank you, Mingi-ssi."

⋆.ೃ:･CAN'T STOP MY CRUSH ON YOU𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

     "Let's go girls!" Jisu claps from the middle of the room, watching the seven of you run around in circles as you sing to the songs blasting on the stereo. "C'mon, push yourselves! Sunji, I can't hear you!"

      The young girl infront of you, who you've already lapped once, is clearly struggling. As are a few others — but the youthful girl tugs at your heart strings. Choi Sunji is the youngest of the group, only turning 17 in a few months. Everyone falls somewhere in the 25-19 age group besides her.

    Which makes it sadder to see her falling behind on the very first day. "Sunji, let's go! You got this!" Wu Bongcha, the eldest shouts over the music before resuming her singing. The twenty five year old is the only other foreigner, which you immediately bonded over.

You all recognized one another from your days spent as trainees, but you never really spoke to one another; too busy trying to secure yourselves a spot in the first girl group that KQ would debut.

"Don't give up!" Second eldest, Lee Aeyoung is next to chime in, though she's struggling herself.

Sunji doesn't give up, but is instead made to forfeit as she trips and skids along the floor on her knees.

"Oh no!"

"Oh, fuck!"

Jisu rushes to her side, as do you. Bongcha runs and cuts off the music, and then joins the rest of them in staring — not knowing what to do.

"Are you okay?" Jisu asks softly as she rubs the girls back, taking a glance at her knees and hissing, "oh, I'm sorry, Sunji. Here, here come sit down."

You wrap the girls arm around your shoulders and help her to the bench at the back of the room as you asses the damage. It's nothing that will keep her from walking, but it will definitely cause the girl some pain as she does so. Her knee caps are red and littered with scratches from the friction; and you can only be thankful that the floor is smooth.

You can see unshed tears lining her eyes, and you pat her shoulder with a pout, "do you need anything?"

"Uhm," she sniffs, "could you get me a water, please?"

"Of course, I'm on it." You dash out of the door, making a bee line for the refrigerator at the end of the hall, hearing your manager tell everyone to take ten.

You fill your arms with waters from the stocked fridge, having noticed only a few of the others brought their own. You had always been provided water in the trainee building, so you aren't shocked that this isn't any different.

You stop a few steps from the door, still for a moment before you turn back around and go two doors down.

The door is cracked open, and you can hear light chatter from within. You don't see him through the window, but you hear the deep rumble of his voice.

You slip in unnoticed until you speak up, "excuse me."

Four pairs of eyes are on you at once, confused as to what you're doing in their practice room practically folding youself in half with how deep your bow is. "Hello, I'm very sorry to interrupt," you begin to ramble, holding the cold waters for your members close to your chest as you face the floor, "ah, Mingi-ssi, you said to let you know if we needed anything..."

"Yeah, of course," he replies quickly before speaking to the others, "this is Ye (Y/n), the early bird." You don't have time to digest the fact that he told them all about you, you simply give them another bow, this time smaller. "What can I help with?"

"You see, one of our members fell while we were running and she scraped her knees up pretty badly. I was wondering if there might be a first aid kit around? I- I would look for it myself but we're only on a ten minute break and I want to get her cleaned up before we start again so she doesn't fall behind-"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Mingi chuckles softly, standing from his resting spot on the floor, "there's one in the bathrooms, I'll show you."

"Ah, thank you so much, Mingi-nim!" You thank him profusely as you follow him out of the room, leaving the three remaining men in shocked silence.

"That was cute," Wooyoung finally breaks the quiet, "looks like Mingi got himself a puppy," he laughs loudly, standing up as well and stretching his arms above his head.

"She seemed sweet, you see all the waters she was carrying?" Seonghwa smiles as he follows suit, recalling the way you held the bottles to your chest.

"Yeah, and so many formalities, you can tell she hasn't been in Korea long, she was so afraid to offend us. Ah," Hongjoong sighs wistfully, "remember when Xikers were like that? Now it's 'Hyung! Hyung, buy me lunch!' Gosh, they grow up so fast." His words make the duo laugh as he gets up with a groan. "Let's go see how the newbies are doing."

By the time they come to stand in the doorway, you've already returned with the waters and first aid in tow. The others are sipping and resting against the walls, while you're kneeled down infront of the injured member.

"Little sting," you whisper before quickly wiping the girls knees, barely giving her a chance to register the pain before you're blowing cool air over it to sooth it.

"Thanks, Un-" She stops herself and looks away embarrassedly, fingers tapping on the bench.

"It's okay, you can call me Unnie. We'll be working together for a long time, right?" You hum kindly as you cover the scratches with two large bandaids, "so let's not be too formal with each other."

"Okay," she nods reassured, handing you your untouched water. "Then I should tell you that you should drink, Unnie."

"Hm, touché." You grin as you take it, downing half in one breath as you fall back onto your bottom to rest. "Ah, I have some Tylenol in my bag-" when you go to stand back up and get it, it appears in your face.

Courtesy of Mingi, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere just like he did in the morning, "here you go, Huebae."

"Oh," you blink in shock before taking it, "thank you."

"Hello," Sunji greets him politely, as do the others as they notice his presence. The others in the hall go unnoticed, probably on purpose as they watch from afar how you interact with everyone; curiosity clear on their faces.

You hand some Tylenol to the girl and pat her shoulder before looking up at Mingi, having to tilt your head back. "Sorry again for intruding on you, Mingi-ssi. I was just worried about Sunji here." You apologize once more as you dig out your phone from your bag. Mingi briefly notes the fact that you have twelve messages from the same person, and the way you smile at that.

"It's nothing to worry about, we were taking a break anyways. As long as the door is open, you're welcome to come in." He pauses for a second before he looks around, almost like he forgot the others were there, "that goes for you all as well."

    "Okay girls," Jisu claps, headed back to the front of the room.

    "Ah, duty calls," you huff as you jump up, helping Sunji onto her feet as she wobbles, "thanks again, Sunbaenim! I owe you."

     "Owe me?"

     "Yeah, I'll take you for lunch or something! Taking so much of your time on my first day, I must seem like a wreck." You laugh, but Mingi thinks anything but that. He thinks you have leader material written all over you, and you obviously have a passion for idol work.

      "Okay," he grins as he moves to leave, "I'll hold you to that."

      "Okay, let's go easy with some flexibility stretches," he hears Jisu instructing you all as he closes the door, coming face to face with Seonghwa's large smile.

     "What's that look for?"

    Wooyoung and Hongjoong are smirking as well, and it takes him a moment until he catches onto the fact that they think he was flirting with you. "Pssh, you guys don't know me better than that? I wouldn't flirt with a junior, especially one from our company."

    "Uh-huuuuh," Wooyoung teases as he turns on his heel and heads back to their room.

     "Seriously!"

   Seonghwa wraps his arm around Mingis neck, messing with his younger member, "Mingi-ya, are we invited to lunch too?"

    "You guys got the wrong idea!" He pouts as his cheeks and ears become flushed, quickly blaming it on the broken air conditioning in the hallway.

⋆.ೃ:･L-O-V-E𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

       The building is nearly empty at this hour, only one or two floors lit up. One of them is the practice floor, where you have been all day long.

    Your manager was long gone, your new members filtering out after her.

     They'd told you to get home safe and rest well, but you were too wired to even think about leaving.

    You had the music on considerably quieter, but your footsteps and voice carried through the floor as the cracked door went unnoticed in your focused state; left that way as Bongcha chased Aeyoung while begging her to teach her a specific dance move.

   "Shit," you curse as you stumble, rewinding the music ten seconds and trying again — only to do the same thing. "Son of a bitch! Ugh, Mom was right, you never work well when you're frustrated." You grumble to yourself as you switch the music to something much slower.

    You lower yourself to lay flat on the cool floor and groan as you catch your breath. Quickly, thanks to more than a year of KQ's intense stamina training, you're back to breathing evenly as you stare up at the fluorescent lights, letting the music vibrate your bones.

     "Nareul wihae fight for my life. Mudyeojimi iksukan sesangeseo," you belt out the lyrics, eyes closed as you appreciate the echo of the room. "Nawa haruman simjang bakkwo jul saram eodido eomn-AH!" You squeal as you reopen your eyes and find a man staring down at you.

You slide away on the smooth floor and quickly stand as you realize it's not just any man, but a member of your older group of seniors. He backs up, hands infront of himself, similarly startled.

"Ah, I'm sorry!"

"I'm so sorry!"

You both apologize at the same time, almost knocking your heads together as you bow in unison.

You bow again when he straightens up, showing him respect after you just screamed in his face. "My apologies," you offer a small smile, and he returns it.

"No, it's my fault, I kind of snuck up on you there," he shakes his head, gesturing for you to stand, "I just heard you singing while I was leaving and came to get a clearer listen. Your voice is nice."

"Oh, really?" You feel a heat on your cheeks, turning to get your bottle, "that's nice of you to say..." You pause as you try to recall his name.

"Oh, Kang Yeosang! You must be... ah, Ye (Y/n)?"

"Yes, nice to meet you, Kang-nim-"

"Please, please, that's way too formal! Yeosang is fine, or Sunbae. We'll probably see a lot of each other," he interrupts quickly, going on to explain himself, "no matter how long I do this, I never get used to being called that."

You turn back to him and nod in understanding, "of course. I get that, yesterday a little kid called me Ajumma and I almost cried."

He laughs softly and observes you as you cut off the music to be able to hear each other. "How old are you, Huebae?"

"I'm 22, 23 this year."

"Ah, not too much younger then," he wanders to the bench, sitting a good few feet away from you as you settle back on the floor, pulling your bag over to you, "your pronunciation is really good, aren't you a foreigner?"

You nod as you pull out a granola bar, offering him one to which he politely declines. "I lived out of the country for most of my life, but some of my family is Korean so I've always spoke bits and pieces. I moved here two... maybe three years ago?"

"Well, that explains it! You aren't really a foreigner, two years in Korea, you're practically a citizen," his words make you smile, and you find your cheeks sore from how much you've done that today. "Why did you move here?"

You're happy to find that the conversation flows naturally between you and Yeosang. "I have some distant relatives here that I moved in with. My home country isn't the safest at the moment, so they took me in. I'm still learning Korean customs and things, so hopefully I fit in well enough."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that... I'm glad you have your family to take care of you. And I'm sure you'll fit in, Mingi told me about how you came to him for help with one of your members."

"That's embarrassing," you face palm with a huff, "barging into another teams room because I don't know where the first aid kit is."

"What? No," he shakes his head firmly, "I think it was smart. Hurry to someone who can help so that no member gets left out. I think it's smart, not embarrassing." He speaks sincerely, making you look down at the floor with a thoughtful pout. "And it's a very Korean thing to do, taking care of people younger than you even if you might not know them well."

"Ah, I guess I can't argue with that," you slide across the floor and toss your wrapper in the bin.

"How long have you been a trainee at KQ?" He asks, resting his chin in his hand. He and you both are sweaty from your individual practices, your hair in two messes. Since he's in the same boat as you, you don't feel self conscious as he looks at you somewhat intently.

"Going on a two years soon." You beam proudly, finishing your water so it can meet the same fate as your wrapper.

"Really?! How come I don't remember seeing you around the trainee building? I'm in and out of there pretty often."

"I usually keep my head down," you giggle at his bewildered expression, "not the best trait for a wanna-be idol, I know."

"Hm, that's fair. Being introverted in life won't hold you back though, as long as you don't hide on stage." He provides reassurance from experience, you can tell. "Why is it you want to be an idol?"

"Oh, uhm," you stretch your legs out infront of you, nearly knocking your feet with his, "it's a long story. But the short version is I love music. I always have. And I want to make something for others to love, too." You fidget for a second before you speak again, "can I ask you something, Sunbae?"

He nods, eagerly awaiting your question, and when he hears it it takes him a moment to really think about it. "How does it feel? Singing, dancing infront of so many people?"

"Well, to me... it's like- it's sort of like this huge feeling of pride in myself, and my members. Showing all of my hard work in something that people can watch and enjoy. There's nothing like it, really. You'll have to wait and see for yourself," he finishes with a soft, lopsided grin, ignoring the non stop buzzing of his phone in favor of watching you take in his words and try to imagine them.

"Yeah. I'll have to see for myself, I can't wait."

"That's the spirit!" He says as he jumps up, heading to the computer desk in the corner and ripping a small piece from a discarded paper, "if you ever need a fellow introvert to talk to, any advice or help practicing, here's my number."

"Oh, seriously?" You stand quickly and take the paper with both hands, bowing to him once again, "thanks, Sunbaenim. You're very kind."

"Ah, it's nothing. We have to stick together, we're outnumbered," he jests as he heads to the door, "I have to head out now. You should do the same, (Y/n)-hubae. Go home and get some rest, the practice room isn't going anywhere."

"I will, Yeosang-sunbaenim. Goodnight."

You watch him go for a moment before you look down at the paper, putting it in your bag for safe keeping.

⋆.ೃ:･I FEEL YOU CALLIN' ME𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

   The next day, you're the first member there again.  You flip on the harsh lights and observe the nearly barren room.

    With a small pout, you toss your bag to the floor and begin stretching.

    Sunji is next, giving you a small bow before joining you in silence.

   Hwan Namseon, the second youngest, comes after. Then its eldest member Bongcha coming in with a loud greeting of good morning. Kim Eunhwa, the only other seemingly introverted member slips in and joins. Han Yoomi hops in with a grin. Aeyoung is last to come, apologizing that her bus had a flat tire as she quickly jumps into the line that's formed behind you as you lead the stretches.

"Hey, where do you think Manager-nim is? It's twenty past eight, she doesn't seem like the type to be late without letting us know." Aeyeong questions with a groan as she touches her toes to mimic the rest of you.

"Ah, really?" You glance at the clock on the wall. You turn away from the wall of mirrors and face them, "should we text her?"

Unbeknownst to you all, Jisu was in the security room watching you on the live feed from the camera at the top of the mirrors usually reserved for taking dance videos. To see what you would do when left to our own devices.

"Yeah, I'll text her and let her know we're all waiting for her," Bongcha leaves the group to grab her phone from the bench, quickly texting the older woman. "Manager-nim," she mumbles out loud as she types.

"What should we do while we wait?" Namseon asks with a glance thrown your way.

"Uhm," you think with a thoughtful frown, "why don't we do an exercise? I'm sure she'll be here soon!"

"Like what?" Eunhwa looks up, fiddling with her sleeves as she speaks just above a whisper.

"I have an idea!" Yoomi jumps with a hand in the air, looking towards you with big eyes.

"Yeah," you laugh a bit as she waits for your permission, gesturing for her to continue.

"Dance-build. We did it at my elementary school. One person does a dance move, and the second person adds to it, and it just keeps going until someone messes up- and that person is out! It could help us with remembering choreography."

"That sounds like it could be fun!" Aeyoung claps, "rock, paper, scissors for the order! Rock, paper, scissors, go!"

A few minutes and a fight about if gun is allowed and if so does it beat rock (it isn't, but it would) later, the order is decided and you begin copying and building off of each other as some dance music plays from Bongchas phone.

Eunhwa, you, and Bongcha move past your turns pretty quickly, watching as Namseon tries to remember the moves and execute them properly. She moves her legs in a different way than Bongcha did, and Aeyoung shouts, "eeeh! Namseon, out!"

"What?! Dang it, what did I do wrong?"

Bongcha repeats the last movement and Namseons eyes widen, "ah, I wasn't looking at your legs!" She slumps before shuffling to take a seat on the wall.

"It's okay," you smile her way, "you can be the referee now!"

You begin again, as Namseon watches everyone like a hawk. It goes Eunhwa, you, Bongcha, Aeyoung, Sunji, Yoomi. Eunhwa, you, and then Bongcha messes up.

At some point, it becomes just you and Aeyoung going back and forth adding more and more dance moves as the others cheer. Clearly, you guys will be the main dancers with how many moves you're doing without even a hint of struggle of remembrance.

"Our Unnies are so cool," Namseon whispers to Sunji, who nods with a wide smile.

A loud chime comes through the speakers, and Bongcha dives for her phone, "its Manager-nim! She said she's on the way, five minutes."

"Good," you pant softly, hands on your knees. "I don't know how long I could keep up with you, Aeyoung-ssi!" You share a laugh with the slightly older girl, who pats your shoulder as she mimics your pose to catch her breath as well.

"Aisssh, says you! You were so fast coming up with moves I could barely keep up!"

"Bongcha-ssi, will you hand us our waters?" You pant softly, wiping your brow as you sit with your newfound dance partner.

"Here you go," she smiles as she hands them over, going on to ask you two about some dance moves.

Small chatter continues as you rest until Jisu enters, "hello, everyone!"

"Hello," you all greet with your various degrees of bows, standing up and beginning to conquer your training for the day.

⋆.ೃ:･널 향한 낯선 VIBE𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

"How are your knees feeling, Sunji-ya?" You ask with a casual nickname thrown her way as you join her in waiting for the elevator.

During the few hours of your second practice together, the seven of you grew more and more comfortable with each other as the ice was broken.

"Oh, they're okay! Thank you for taking care of me yesterday, Unnie. I'm sure it was scary asking our seniors for help on the first day, I'm sorry about that."

"Oh, they're not so bad," you nudge her shoulder with a grin, "nothing to be afraid of." You enter the elevator together, and you ask, "going to the cafeteria?"

"Yeah, I'm starving." You press the button for the second floor, where the cafeteria and locker rooms reside.

"Ditto, let's eat together, yeah?"

Her smile pulls at your heartstrings as you enter the vast and open room. With only two doors, one with a male figure and one with a female figure: which had previously never been used, but now you see your members coming and going. Being the first girl group in the company was a weird feeling. Everyone was kind, but everyone was also waiting to see if you would be a massive failure.

Two younger boys nod their heads in greeting as you pass. You and Sunji bow back, a small and polite, "hello, Sunbaenims," coming from the girl which makes them smile.

The tables are far too many for all of the people you've met or know work here, but you know that it's a growing company. Still, it's oddly quiet with only the two Xikers boys and a handful of the Ateez members eating and conversing.

"Why don't you get us some food and I'll get us a cold drink?"

     Sunji scoops some rice and broccoli into two bowls and goes to claim a table for you both, not completely isolated but far enough away to give the men their own space.

     "Here you go," you slide her a glass of iced tea and sit across from her at the rectangular table, eyeing the way she has the lesser filled bowl infront of her. "Thought you were starving?"

    She nods, going to stop you from swapping your bowls, "ah, it's okay, Unnie! I should loose some weight before we start recording things-"

    "Tsk," you suck your teeth and swap the bowls despite her polite protesting, "you're still growing. You need to eat well."

    "Well, but-"

    "No buts," you give her a stern glare as you take a large bite, "I won't let our maknae wither away."

    "Maknae," she giggles, taking a spoonful with a bright smile, "it's weird to be the youngest. I'm the oldest of my siblings, actually."

     "Yeah? How many siblings do you have?" You converse smoothly as you eat, making sure she gets her fill.

As you laugh at her story of how her little brother cried harder than she did at the news of her official status of pre-debut, one of the men you briefly met yesterday approaches with a small head bow.

You and Sunji nod back, with you greeting him, "hello, Park-nim." You know his name, thankfully remembering him from an encounter you had in the trainee building.

"Hello, may I sit?" Seonghwa asks with a soft smile, gesturing to the table.

"Yeah, of course!" Sunji nods quickly, blushing in the presence of your pretty senior. "Nice to meet you," she beams, and you can't hold back a smile of your own at her eagerness.

"Nice to meet you, too. How has Jisu-nim been treating you all?" He inquires as he sits on your side of the table.

    "She's great! She pushing us to be our very best," the girl says, and you nod in agreement as he looks to you for your opinion as well.

    "That's good to hear. She's been waiting a long time to have a group of her own to manage, so I'm sure she'll treat you well. She came up with your concept and everything on her own, worked with Hongjoong for days on your title song."

    Both of you freeze with bites half in your mouths, and he realizes he's said something he probably shouldn't have as the young girl leans over the table with wide eyes, nearly toppling over as she asks him with urgency, "our debut song is already planned?!"

 

      "Sunji-ya!" You scold her, slapping her arm, "I apologize for her, Park-nim, we haven't been told about that yet, you see." He laughs as you force the shell-shocked girl back into her seat.

     "Ah, well I'm glad to be the one to tell you!"

      He feels a spark of energy as he sees both of your excitement, yours especially as you try to hide it with a nonchalant expression as you ask, "could you, maybe, could you tell us about it?"

     "Oh, I'm not in the production team," he begins, "but from what I've seen it's a very cute concept. Some lore has been tossed around but nothing solid. Hmm, what else?" He hums as he takes a bite of his food, feeling both of you looking at him expectantly. "Oh! Yeah, the song. I've heard some snippets of the instrumentals and it sounds very upbeat. I haven't gotten a glance at the lyrics but they're finalizing them right now, actually. Maybe you'll get your first look today."

     "Ah!" Sunji squeals into her hands before diving over the table to hug you, "I'm so excited!" She bounces out of her seat and bows to Seonghwa like she's been snapped in half before running away, leaving you both confused. "Thank you, Park-nim! Ah, I have to tell the others!"

     You watch her go with your jaw slacked before you grumble, "that little jerk left her dishes."

     Seonghwa goes into a fit of laughter at the seriousness on your face, the sound making you remember he was still there. "Ah, sorry," you give a little laugh of your own, "I guess our maknae is very excited to debut."

     "It's okay," he says between breaths of laughs, placing a hand on his chest, "whew! She's definitely going to be the mood maker."

    "Right? No kidding, that kid has energy like she just chugged seven Red-Bulls in a row."

     You share another chuckle, comfortable silence taking over as you finish your meals. When he goes to stand and take his dishes, you quickly stuff your last bites into your mouth and shake your head.

     He leans back as you collect all of the dishes on the table, his included. He watches as you scrape any remnants into the bin and set them all ontop with the others. "Thank you," he nods as you come back around with a smile, headed towards the elevator, "going back up to the practice rooms?" He asks as he joins you in waiting.

    "Yes, thank you again for telling us about the debut, I'm sure everyone will be happy to know."

"Ah, it's the least I could do, I know the feeling." He sighs as he presses the button, looking over his shoulder at you as the doors close. "You think you'll fit a cute concept?" 

"Oh, yes," you nod at lightning speed, "a lot of our members are light on their feet and good with facial expressions that will go well with that. Our second youngest, Namseon, has an adorable gummy smile that will be just perfect. Oh- my Unnies both have insane charisma, it's like they were born for the stage! And you met Sunji, she's a ball of sunshine. I think they'll do well."

He waits, gesturing for you to continue.

"Sorry, I rambled a bit! I'm done," you scratch the back of your neck and push past as the doors open, "thanks again-"

"What about you?" He asks before you can get away, gently laying a hand on your shoulder to stop you just outside of the elevator. "You said 'they'll' do good, but what about you?"

"Uh? Me?" You look down, clearly caught off guard as he asks about how you'll do, "I dunno, actually. I never thought about what concept I could fit..."

As if he senses your anxiety (because he does, it's a bit hard to miss), he smiles reassuringly down at you, "don't worry, I think you'll fit your group's concept just fine. You have that charm, y'know?"

    "Charm?"

   "Mhm! Something about you that's just... cute!" He feels a heat creeping up on his cheeks, and you see it.

"You think I'm cute?" You peek to his hand, still resting on your shoulder; and he quickly removes it when you do.

When he notices your eyes lingering on his flushed cheeks, he starts walking away, quickly headed to their practice room. "Aisssh, Mingi was right, we need to fix the air conditioning in the hall. Don't worry, you'll be perfect!"

⋆.ೃ:･간절히 FIND, FIND OUT𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

As soon as the door to the practice room slams shut: Seonghwa crouches and places his head between his knees, then his hands over his head. "Ahhhh!" He groans loudly, calling San's attention up from his phone.

"Jesus, what happened to you? You look like a tomato."

"I can never show my face to our crUSh hubae again!" He shouts from his crouched position, refusing to move even as he hears the door open and feels someone step over him.

"Don't mind meeee," Mingi says as he vaults over, "I'm not apart of this, just want my notebook."

"Are you sure you don't want in on this? Hyung embarrassed himself infront of one of the girls- or multiple? My bets on multiple."

Mingi stops with his notebook in hand, leaning against the wall next to San, "again? Is this a 'accidentally call everyone the wrong name' situation repeat?"

"Ahhhh," he groans again, slumping against the door and revealing his face to the two.

"Wait, that's not an embarrassment blush! That's a crush blush!" Seonghwa curses the fact that they've spent that much time together, they even know the difference between each others blushes.

"Crushing on crUSh, Hyung? You made fun of me for that!"

"I am not 'crushing', I'm not a schoolboy!"

"You are too! Who is it? Tell us!"

"Tell us, tell us, tell us," they go on to chant, San clapping with amusement as Seonghwa hides his face with his hands, "tell us, tell us, tell us!"

"Yah! Fine, I'll tell you-" he's cut off by their cheers "-but if you so much as even think about telling a single soul, I will-" cut off again:

"Yeah, yeah, get on with it!"

He takes a deep breath, leaning his head against the door, "I was talking with Ye (Y/n) just now." Mingi tilts his head and smirks as he continues. "She was worried that she wouldn't fit into the groups cute concept... so I told her that she was cute." San whistles. "While I had my hand on her shoulder." San whistles louder before cackling.

"Man, you are horrible with women!"

"It came out of my mouth before I could think!"

"At least you didn't give her your number, Yeosang beat you to it."

"Woah, woah, back up — when the hell did that happen?" Mingi finally pipes up, eyebrows bunched together, "is he The Flash all the sudden? He's been with us all day!"

"Last night, dummy." San rolls his eyes, "is he The Flas- ow!" He punches Mingi's leg after he kicks him, glaring up at him from the floor.

"Did he actually?" Seonghwa tilts his head, thinking about the introverted member. "He's usually really shy around girls."

"Not as shy as you, Mr.Tomato," San makes both of them chuckle before he goes on to say, "he said he heard her singing after all her members left and went to complement her. They talked a little bit and he gave her his number if she ever needed anything, so he sayssss- but he was blushing too."

"Damn, Sang has game," Mingi slides down the wall to join San, letting out a little sigh which makes the man next to him perk up.

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on-"

"Don't!"

San goes on despite Mingi's protest, "is Ye (Y/n) the one Wooyoung called your puppy?! The girl you said was 'suuuuper ni-' yah, quit hitting me!"

Mingi glares, and San glares back.

"She is super nice," Seonghwa breaks their intense staring contest as they both turn to him. "She made sure the member that got hurt yesterday was taken care of so she didn't fall behind, she cleaned up all of our dishes after her member ran off, she even knew all about her groups killing points. She didn't even mention herself when I asked how everyone would fit into their concept, just went on about how well everyone else would do."

After a moment of quiet, the younger men digesting his words, San hums, "she can't be that sweet, to have three of you crushing in not even a few days?"

    "There's something about her, man," Mingi pushes back his hair, "she had a literal sparkle in her eye when she saw their practice room for the first time. Like- like a cartoon princess!"

   "Yes, the sparkle! She had it when she was talking about her members, too!"

    "You guys are whipped, no one is this... enchanting! Enchanting, that's it!" San would be eating his words in less than forty-eight hours.

   Seonghwa shakes his head, "she might be- woah!" He falls back into the hall as someone opens the door, landing with a thud.

      "What's going on?" Wooyoung asks as he takes in the scene. Seonghwa and Mingi's fading blushes, San's look of disbelief. The oldest of them on the ground because he was hiding against the door.

    "Hyung embarrassed himself infront of his crush!"

     "I'll kill you!" Seonghwa yells, finally finishing his threat.

⋆.ೃ:･L-O-V-E𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

   Once again, you're left in the practice room on your lonesome after everyone left pretty shortly after your intense work out with the company trainer.

      It didn't slow down the buzz everyone had over the news of the debut song almost being completed so you could begin working on it yourselves.

     Especially not yours, as you stayed to study and practice other girl group songs with cute concepts.

   "Signal bonae signal bonae, jjirit- aaaah," you grumble as you fall back into your resting face. You glare at yourself in the mirror for a moment before you return to a soft and cheery face, "try to let you know. Signeul bonae signal bonae," you try to throw in the hand movement as well, groaning loudly as your focus fails you and your face no longer does what you want it to. "Ah, really!? C'mon, (Y/n), you're better than this."

     You point at yourself accusingly, unaware as the door swings open. "Neol bomyeo useumyeon arac- fuck!" You curse as your face falls once more as you focus too hard on singing.

You close your eyes and lean your forehead against the mirror defeatedly, not noticing as two semi-familiar men come into the room and witness you kneeling infront of the mirror wall, tears beginning to wet your eyelashes.

"Excuse me," Hongjoong speaks first, making you flinch. You quickly wipe your eyes as you turn to face him, hoping (though futile) that they didn't see your mini-breakdown.

"H-Hello," you internally curse yourself as your voice cracks.

"Are you okay, Hubae?" Mingi asks hesitantly, tilting his head.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay! Just a little frustrated is all! Thank you, Mingi-ssi."

"Ah, we all know the feeling," Hongjoong offers softly, nodding toward you with a comforting smile. You notice the stack of papers in his hand, remembering what Seonghwa had told you earlier.

"Thank you," you pause, unsure of what to call him. He's technically your senior, yes. But he's also a producer and leader.

He notices your brows pushing together with your thoughts, and he helps you out, "Hongjoong-sunbae is fine, don't worry."

"Ah, okay, okay! Thank you, Hongjoong-sunbae. Can I help with something?"

"Are your members around?" He gestures to the empty room save for you and Mingi, who's still looking down at you with a pout.

"No, sorry," you shake your head, offering an apology, "they left about an hour ago, we finished our work out early."

"Oh, that's too bad," he slaps the papers against his palm lightly and bites his lip, "I was hoping to give you all the lyrics to your title track."

"Really?! It's ready?" You perk up immediately, forcing yourself to calm down as you step closer, "may I see it? Please?"

He can't say no to those puppy dog eyes of yours, and apparently neither can Mingi; who grabs one of the stapled packets from his hyungs hands and extends it out to you with a big gummy smile.

You take it with an equally big smile, bowing deeply to the two of them before coming up and scanning the paper with that shimmer in your eyes that Mingi saw yesterday. Hongjoong sees it now too, and he understands what the man was trying to explain to them.

Passion in your eyes, he didn't think it would be so clear to see. But anyone who looked at you as you read the lyrics of what would be your first song would be able to see it. It's brighter than any other trainee, producer, lyric writer- it's brighter than anyone else's he's ever seen. And he finds him self excited to see what you do with it.

"SYNC-LOVE," you read with a gigantic grin. "crUSh official debut. Ah!" You can't help the happy yell that escapes you, hiding your face in the paper as the men chuckle.

You pull the paper back and scan the words, flipping the page and reading it all; credits included. Seeing their names on the credits, you bow repeatedly to them with your smile present all the while, "ah, thank you. Thank you so much, I'll make sure to do my very best with your song and my members as well! I'll make sure we make you proud to have u-"

Mingi puts a hand on your shoulder to stop your repeated bowing, laughing along with Hongjoong at your excitement, "careful, now! You'll get dizzy!"

"My bad," you look down to hide your still present grin.

"It's an exciting moment!" Hongjoong reassures you again, handing over the rest of the papers, "you'll get these to your members? In a few days we want to hear you all sing it individually so we can start assigning parts."

  You nod and take them carefully, turning to your bag and getting your phone, "is it okay if I send them photos of it- or is that a leak risk?"

    "No, that's okay. People don't even know we have a girl group yet," Mingi waves off your concern, "just do it through your number, no social media."

    You quickly snap a photo of each page and create a group chat with the numbers that you'd thankfully collected.

YOU ADDED BONGCHA.

YOU ADDED AEYOUNG.

YOU ADDED EUNHWA.

YOU ADDED YOOMI.

YOU ADDED NAMSEON.

YOU ADDED SUNJI.

YOU SENT A MESSAGE. Hongjoong and Mingi sunbaenims just stopped by the room. Good news, our debut song is completed!!

YOU SENT TWO ATTACHMENTS.

    As you turn back to thank them once again, your phone begins going off nonstop with messages from the others. "Oops," you turn off the ringer quickly, "I think they're just as excited as I am. Thank you again."

     "We're all excited to do what you guys can do," Hongjoong says truthfully, "Yeosang said you're a nice singer, is that the main position you want?"

     "Ah, rapper actually," you chuckle a bit, shifting on your feet, "admittedly, after my manager told us all your story, Hongjoong-sunbae, I started writing."

     "Really?" He beams, jumping a bit, "oh, I like you more by the minute! I can't wait to work with you!"

    You laugh as you wrap your arms around yourself, "thanks-"

    Mingi suddenly gets a brilliant idea, "hey, why don't you bring some of your songs to the recording booth so we can hear them?"

    "Oh, no, no, I don't have instrumentals or anything like that- I just write them for fun!"

    "So sing them for fun too! Let your voice be the instruments." Mingi is practically begging, and Hongjoong looks at you hopefully as well.

     "Maybe, maybe just one. I don't want to waste your time," you give in, making the men cheer.

⋆.ೃ:･THIS LOVE IS NOT FAKE𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

After your work out together the next day, you speak up before anyone can leave, "hey, before you all go!" You hop up quickly, stopping Yoomi and Eunhwa in the doorway.

You suddenly feel a bit shy speaking when all of the others are looking at you, "uhm, do any of you want to stay and try some of ATEEZ-sunbaenims choreography? I was thinking, we have a lot of pressure to live up to them and Xikers as well, especially in the dance department. Not to say that we aren't good! Just that they're very intense performers and we have a soft concept compared to them so maybe we could do a dance cover to show that we can kick ass too-"

In your rambling, you don't notice as they set their bags back down, gathering around you as you speak. "Because I know that we can! We can show the world that KQ doesn't mess around, even with their girls!"

"Hell yeah!" Bongcha yells, making you flinch, "sorry! But, yeah, I'm in for sure."

"What song were you thinking?" Aeyoung, eager to prove her dance skills to the world, is pulling back on her sneakers.

"Oh, I wasn't expecting you all to agree," you take a deep breath as you scan the rest of your group, "maybe we could pick together?"

A couple of hours later, you're all sweaty and out of breath once again as you finish your third run-through of Guerrilla. 'Start off strong,' Namseon said as she was the deciding vote.

"Let's take five," Bongcha heaves as she falls onto the floor, "...hours."

A couple of breathless chuckles go her way as the rest of the group sits minus you. "I'll get us some waters," you manage as you head to the door, grabbing your phone on the way.

Once you get to the fridge, your phone pings.

BONGCHA SENT AN ATTACHMENT.

BONGCHA SENT A MESSAGE. Guerrilla, take three

You lean against the fridge as you open the video, watching each member intently. You're all very good, but you could be better. Your footsteps are almost louder than the music at times, and it helps that you can hear them all being in sync. As the dance break begins, you hear yourself in the video. "Let's go, Guerrilla!" The rest of them follow suit, "the guerrillas!" You're definitely louder than the music as you all shout to hype each other up, "break the wall!"

Smiling down at your phone, you don't hear the person approaching you until he speaks.

"I thought those stomps sounded familiar."

"My god!" You clamber to catch your phone, breathing a sigh of relief as you hold it tightly.

"Sorry," Yeosang laughs softly, "I should stop sneaking up on you." He gives you a little bow of apology before he gestures to the phone, "may I see?"

    "Ah," you place a hand to your chest as your shoulders relax, "you're going to give me a heart attack." You joke as you rewind the video and hold it out to show him.

    He leans closer, his shoulder against yours as you both watch it.

     "Woo!" He smiles as you all shout when the youngest looking member slides to the center. He can tell you already have a bond that will be helpful when things get tough. It's not often that groups click immediately, but he's happy that yours did; and it's clear that you have by the way you move in tandem with each other after only a few days. Some of you have more energy, more power behind your moves maybe, but you all move at the same time despite that. He thinks, as do you as you watch over your group, maybe you were meant to debut together.

    After it comes to an end, Yeosang claps and leans back, "woah! You guys are good! How many tries was that?"

    "You think so? It was our third take, we still have a lot of improvements to make," you say as you slide your phone into your pocket, moving to get the waters you came for.

    "Yeah, I wouldn't think that you guys are a new group based on that, you're a very well rounded group looks like." He takes some of the waters from your arms and earns himself a smile from you.

     "Thanks, Yeosang, that means a lot to hear. It was my idea actually to cover one of your dances to show that we could be badass too," you look down as you admit with a little laugh, walking with him back to your groups room.

     "You're a good leader," he nods with a thoughtful expression.

    "Uh? I'm not the leader."

    "No?" He raises an eyebrow, "who is?"

    "Uhhhhhh," you blank as you enter the room, making the others look up confusedly. "-hhh, heres the water!" Yeosang laughs heartily as you quickly change the subject, going on to hand over the waters he carried for you as you distribute them. "Guys, this is Yeosang-sunbaenim," you gesture to him before sipping on your own water.

     "Hello," they bow to one another, and Aeyoung is quick to drag you over after the formalities are out of the way. She leans over her phone, having similarly been monitoring your last take.

     "Ye-ssi, look here," she points, "I think Yoomi and Eunhwa should swap here, to have Eunhwa in the front. She has more intense facial expressions, don't you think?"

    "Ah," you nod along, backing up the video a few seconds to see again, "I think that's a good idea."

    "Yoomi-ya! Come here, I need to teach you a different part!" The older members yells dramatically, making you cover your ear with a grimace.

     Yeosang joins your side again with a grin, "not the leader, huh?"

You take a long sip of your water and look up at the ceiling thoughtfully before — "nope!"

⋆.ೃ:･달려가 CRUSH ON YOU𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

     The next day, you're surprised to see someone else in the practice room when you arrive — multiple someones that is, and an array of cameras and microphones.

    You pause in the door way mid-way through fixing your hair, slowly backing out as the main camera man swivels the lens to face you. "Sorry," you let your hair fall and bow, looking around curiously from the hall, "am I interrupting?"

    "(Y/n)!" Jisu waves from the group of people, having to jump for you to see her. "Come on in," she gestures you forward, placing a hand on your arm as you get closer, "we're going to start filming for a pre-debut documentary."

    "Really? We're making one? That's exciting!" You look around the room, waving and bowing once again to the crew, "hello. Good morning."

    You get a few responses back, looking away from the camera shyly. You'll definitely have to get used to that.

    "You're here early, practice doesn't start until eight," she observes, smiling as she realizes how dedicated you are from the fact that you have now been the first member to arrive four days in a row. "Did you plan to start early?"

    "Ah, I actually came to work on some songs," you hesitate, looking around as the crew continues to set up in the back of the room.

    "Writing?" Jisu asks, knowing that you've been coming up with songs of your own nonstop since she told you of Hongjoong's passion and subsequent success.

    "Yes, I wanted to write some that fit with our concept," you whisper as you fiddle with the hem of your hoodie.

    "Oh, that's great! You go ahead and do whatever you need to, pretend we aren't even here. We don't have the main sound going yet but the director may want some footage of you working." She pats your arm as she notices your nerves, giving you a little nod, "hwaiting!"

    "Thank you, manager-nim," you nod back, carefully taking your bag off and setting it on the wall by the door so it's not in the way.

     You can still feel the camera trailing you as you take out your newer notebook that has strawberry printed papers, along with your pen and a dry erase marker. You settle infront of the mirror with your legs folded under you.

    A few minutes of calming breathes later, you finally decide 'screw it', and allow yourself to begin working like no body is there, following your manager's advice.

    From your notes about what kind of lyrics you want, you begin writing on the mirror with your dry erase marker just like you do at home; only on a larger scale.

CHORUS

dallyeoga crush on you

super crush on you

can't stop the crush on you

code in L-O-V-E

TIPI-TAP TIPI-TIPI TAP

You write it out in romanization to see how it will sound, chewing on the back of the marker.

    "Hello," the camera woman who comes up to you greets politely, and you return the favor. "Director-nim wanted me to ask what you're doing?"

"Okay, okay," you nod quickly, scooting to the side a bit to allow her to film the writing on the mirror, "since our concept is super cute, uhm," you clear your throat, showing her the page in your notebook full of ideas, "I'm writing some songs that I think would fit along with it..."

"Why do you write on the mirror?"

"Oh," you look at it before smiling, almost reminiscently, "it's a technique someone taught me! Write it in dry erase or chalk so you can easily change it, move it around, see where things might fit better. And when you think you have it, write it on paper and see how it is!" You beam as you explain, quickly falling into your comfort zone.

"Ah," you erase part of it with your hoodie sleeve before leaning and writing in something different, "chorus should be a bit repetitive!"

dallyeoga crush on you

dallyeoga crush on you

"Better," you smile to yourself as you look it over.

"Hello," a voice calls all of your attention from the door, and you smile brighter as you see Mingi and one of his group mates you've yet to meet.

You wave briefly before gasping and turning back to the mirror quickly as some lyrics come to you.

pow pow

my heart just flew up

You hardly notice as the duo stop talking to your manager and the team, heading for you instead as you mumble to yourself. "Flew up?"

You peek up as the camera-woman backs up, getting all three of you in frame as they come up on either side behind you.

"Pow, pow, my heart blew up?" Mingi suggests as he reads over it, smiling as you immediately click your tongue and rewrite it.

"Aye, why didn't I think of that? Thanks, Mingi-ssi," you blink at the other man in the reflection and give him a bow of your head, "hello."

"Nice to meet you, Ye-ssi," he flashes you a soft grin in the mirror, "I'm San."

"Nice to meet you- ah sorry," you look away quickly and scribble a little further away from what you already have down before the words can get away from you, "inspiration waits for no-one."

beonjineun seollem

gidarin chit-chat

"This is a cute vibe," San complements as he reads it over with Mingi, "how long have you been working on it?"

"Hm," you take a glance at the clock in the mirror, 7:40. "About twenty minutes."

Mingi makes a noise of surprise, nearly falling from his crouched position until you grab his arm and steady him, "ah, are you okay, Mingi-ssi? Are you dizzy?" He laughs as you worry over him, pointing back to the writing after he's steady.

"Twenty minutes and you have a solid chorus?"

"Mhm!" You smile towards your work, humming the imaginary tune to yourself for a second to see if more inspiration hits.

"How long have you been writing?" San asks with a slight awe, taking a look at your book of ideas.

"Ah," you scratch your head, "since... April, I think?"

It's Sans turn to be surprised, raising his eyebrows and counting on his fingers, "four months?! Hey, no way," he shakes his head, "you're pulling our leg."

"She's a genius," Jisu buts into the conversation, coming to pat your head, "she's my own mini-Captain."

"Not even Hongjoong can come up with a chorus in twenty minutes flat," San argues, glaring at the words and mumbling them to himself.

"Hey, (Y/n), how are you imagining this?" The woman grins, as you begin to tap on your leg, thinking of the right pace.

"Kind of- aaah, no," you stop yourself before even starting, restarting quietly, "dallyeoga crush on you, dallyeoga crush on you. Ah, yes!" You lean over your paper and draw a little meter of how upbeat it should be. "Like, tipi-tip tap, tipi-tipi, tap-tap~ That fits right?"

Mingi points at Sans look of speechlessness, squeaking with laughter and leaning into your side.

"Hey, Unnie, can you-" You look and see Sunji enter, quickly looking up from her phone and having the same look of 'oh shit' that you did. "Oh, hello," she quickly bows, having the same conversation with your manager and nodding along.

Mingi and San are still helping you with fine tuning lyrics as she joins, sitting beside you and looking at the words curiously.

"What were you going to ask, Sunji?" You question as you making the recommended change that San suggested, nodding at the way it looks.

"Ah," she blushes a bit, asking in a hushed tone, "could you braid my hair before practice? Yours was really pretty the other day, but I don't know how."

"Awe," you smile at the young girl, sliding back and patting the space you previously occupied, "of course, anything for my maknae!"

San looks down at you two with a fond expression as you card your hands through her hair and she reads the words with curiosity. "Is this our next song?"

"No-"

"Maybe!" Mingi cuts you off, taking the marker and jotting down some more words, "your Unnie wrote the chorus all by herself!"

"Woah, really?" She meets your eyes in the reflection, "you can write too? You're good at everything!"

She bounces, making you pat her shoulder with a chuckle, "stay still."

"Sorry," she giggles, stilling as you begin to braid her hair back in an intricate way, "how does it go?"

You sing the chorus for her, San nodding along and Mingi listening closely; tilting his head as he thinks.

"Hey, Ye-ssi," he points to one of the lines with the marker that he's effectively taken over, "here, code in L-O-V-E~ What about," he wipes the line and replaces it as you watch with interest, "this?"

"The code is L-O-V-E," you sing together to the rhythm in your heads, feeling out the vibe.

    "I like it!" Sunji peeps, breaking you and Mingi's sudden staring contest.

     "Ah," you turn to her quickly to avoid his gaze, "really? Why don't you sing it for us?" You settle back behind her and continue to braid her long hair, watching as she smiles brightly. "Your voice really suits a soft concept."

To anyone watching the moment in the documentary many months later, it's certainly a heartwarming scene. Especially paired with the caption the editors slipped in: 'Ye-ssi is showing off her makenae<3'.

    If they looked hard enough; they'd also see that Mingi's gaze never left your hands as you gently braided your young members hair, and that San's kept flicking to you with a sense of wonder...

⋆.ೃ:･CAN'T STOP MY CRUSH ON YOU𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

⋆.ೃ:･DELETED SCENES.ೃ࿔*:･

#ONE#

     After your strange but heart warming moment with Seonghwa, you return back to your own practice room; where Bongcha and Namseon are watching Eunhwa play a game on her phone. 

    Sunji and Aeyoung are seemingly having a flexibility competition, with Yoomi as the judge.

    You sit on the bench and watch between the two groups, a content smile on your face until from the open door you hear —

     "I'll kill you!" All of you perk up, running to the door and peeking your heads out.

    "Was that Park-nim?" Sunji asks with a pout, "he doesn't seem like the type to get angry."

    "What'd he say? I don't know that word," Bongcha looks to you.

    "I'll kill you, he said," you translate for her while watching curiously as the man in the doorway slides out of the way to make room for another, who comes flying out of the room; quickly followed by Seonghwa.

      "Come back here!"

       "No, I want to live! Hyung, please! I want to live!"

⋆.ೃ:･L-O-V-E WILL BE RIGHT BACK.ೃ࿔*:･

[ynnova]

( CODE NAME : LIP WAR. ) woosan x ninth member!f!reader ✶ poly!ateez

──── you and wooyoung get into a small ' argument ' and san gets pulled into the middle of it. you're using the word argument lightly though.

2024 ୨୧ word count : 3.5k ୨୧ warnings : language, semi-overdramatic yn but wooyoung lowkey matches that, lots of kissing, suggestive, mxm ୨୧ mdni

when you woke up this morning, you weren't exactly surprised by the position you were in. you and wooyoung were entangled together, limbs wrapped around each other and the hotel blankets haphazardly and surprisingly still on the bed.

your head rested on wooyoung's chest while his was somewhat resting on top of yours. you could faintly hear his snores from how close he was. your leg was thrown his own which was also slotted between both of yours.

"yah, look at these two," you hear a voice say, but you haven't fully registered who it was that was talking. you heard a voice let out a low chuckle in response before you felt a hand rub up and down your back. the feeling is what officially drew you out of your sleep. turning your head the best you could, you are greeted with the sight of both hongjoong and seonghwa looking down at the two of you. seonghwa had been the one to run his hand down your back.

pulling away from wooyoung slightly, you attempt (a poor attempt but an attempt no less) to pull seonghwa into bed with you. tugging on his hand and a pout on your lips.

"haha, no baby, you and woo need to get up," he says, using his free hand to brush the mess of hair out of your eyes.

"but, oppa–

"hey, don't pull that card on me," he says, his tone a mixture of teasing and seriousness, but the smile on his face tells he's not being serious in his scolding. "we have a schedule today, baby."

"later?" you ask and seonghwa nods before leaning down and kissing up.

"but you and wooyoung need to get up," he says once more before he's moving away from you. you let out a groan before you're turning back over to look at wooyoung who is still dead to the world. must be nice, you think before pulling away from him and sitting up.

your movement caused wooyoung to let out a groan as he began to stir a little. you place both your hands on his cheeks, squishing them as you move his head back and forth. "wooyoung, wake up," you say, voice a little groggy sounding from having just woken up. you saw his eyebrows furrow, but he still didn't open his eyes. "hey! we have a schedule today! wake! up!" you say, moving his head as you talk.

wooyoung lets out another groan as his hand comes up to your own face to try and push you away. "ugh," you say when one of his fingers smash against your nose, and you let go of his face in order to move away from his hand.

"wooyoung," you say, a little annoyed as you rubbed your nose.

"i'm getting up, give me a minute," he mumbles, eyes now open and looking at you as you get out of bed. you move past hongjoong and seonghwa who were still in your hotel room to go to the bathroom. you close the bathroom door behind you as you start to get ready, you can hear your three boyfriends talking to each other before you hear your hotel door open and close.

when you get out of the bathroom, you see hongjoong helping you straighten up your bed. walking over to him, you press a kiss to his cheek with a small 'thank you' as you go over to your clothes.

that's when you notice wooyoung had left without saying anything.

"where did wooyoung go?" you ask, pulling out the outfit your stylist wanted you to wear.

"he went to go get ready," hongjoong said as he sat in one of the hotel chairs as you began to change. you threw your pajamas on the bed before pulling your clothes on. you couldn't believe wooyoung left without saying anything, or even a kiss!

bastard.

"is the fansign all we have today?" you ask, looking over to your captain who was waiting for you while scrolling on his phone.

"yeah, and then we're free to do whatever," hongjoong says as he stands up and walks over to you just as you pull your shirt over your head. hongjoong leans over to grab the necklace your stylist picked out before helping you put it on.

the two of you share a quick kiss before you go and put the rest of your jewelry in. once you're done, you grab your phone and bag before following hongjoong out of your room and down to where the rest of the members are. still salty about wooyoung.

"you look so pretty, baby," san says as you all are in the dressing room for the fansign. san comes up to you and sits next to you when he notices you by yourself. you had just gotten done with your hair and makeup and wanted to relax before the fansign started.

"thank you, sannie," you say, hand running over one of his broad shoulders before you both lean in and kiss each other.

that was the good thing about the public knowing about you and san – you could kiss and act like a couple in front of non-kq staff without the worry of them exposing anything.

when san pulled away you couldn't help but laugh at how your lip gloss had slightly smudged onto his. san licked his lips, tongue darting out and his eyes widened a little by the taste.

"strawberry? is this a new lip gloss?" he asks and you nod your head.

"miran-unnie bought it for me when we hung out and i'm just now getting to try it," you tell him.

just as san was about to say something, a figure appears in your vision before you suddenly feel a weight on your lap. looking down you see wooyoung laid across both yours and san's lap, his head resting comfortably on your thighs.

"what are you guys talking about?" wooyoung ask looking between you and san.

"y/n was telling me about her new lip gloss," san explains as wooyoung looks up at your face.

"what flavor?"

"strawberry," you answer as san's thumb comes up to gently fix the small smudge that your kiss had caused.

"are you gonna let me taste it later?" wooyoung asks, voice lower than what it was so only you three could hear him. you look down at him, his eyes already watching you – watching your lips. you're still upset that he didn't kiss you this morning, but no.

no kisses for wooyoung right now.

"hm, no~" you say teasingly as you watch wooyoung's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. out of the five years you've been dating, you've never truly outright denied wooyoung of a kiss. the two of you have probably kissed the most out of all nine of you. the two of you just liked kissing each other, nothing more to it.

so you denying wooyoung like this surprised not only him, but san as well. wooyoung then sat up, forcing himself in-between you and san as he looked at you like you grew a second head.

"why?" he asks, still not able to believe you. of course, he and the guys have always respected that if you didn't want to be touched or kissed then they wouldn't. but this is still wooyoung we're talking about, he would respect you but still want to know why.

"because~" you say with a shrug before getting up and moving across the room to where mingi and yunho sat.

mingi greeted you with a smile, wrapping his arm around you and bringing you closer to him.

wooyoung turns to san with a confused look, "what's up with her?" he asks and san can only shrug his shoulders in response.

wooyoung had decided that if you wanted to be a little bratty then so could he. if you didn't want to kiss him, that's fine, but he could tell there was more to this than you not wanting him to taste your lip gloss.

no, there was definitely something that you weren't telling him. he ran through the events of this morning to try and figure out if you were actually mad at him or if you were just being overdramatic. it was the latter but he hasn't figured that out yet.

so wooyoung came to the conclusion that two could play at your game. and during the entire fansign, wooyoung made sure you knew he was there. and unfortunately san had unknowingly been dragged into it as any time you got close or went up to san during the fansign, wooyoung would make sure to come in-between the two of you.

now why did wooyoung drag san into this? well because he knew how attached you and san were to each other. wooyoung never really wanted to admit it, but he knew san was something similar to your first love. the two of you started dating first, you opened up to san a lot more quicker – all of this kind of boiled down to why you even picked to go public with san when the company had told you to pick one. no one was upset that you naturally drew to san, not even wooyoung. on top of all. of that, you probably kissed san the most right after himself.

so if you wouldn't kiss wooyoung, then you wouldn't kiss san either.

so the entire fansign you couldn't once get close to san without wooyoung appearing. he's pretty sure a lot of atiny captured the confusing looks both you and san would give him. and eventually, you stopped trying to go over to san, instead opting to either interact with the other members or the fans.

even after the fansign was over, wooyoung refused to leave you and san alone. you tried your best not to let your frustration towards your boyfriend show, especially since you all were still in front of staff. so you opted to just hang around seonghwa, even when it was finally time to go.

on the way back to the hotel, seonghwa couldn't help but laugh as he noticed the pout on your lips as you rested your head on his shoulder.

"what's wrong, baby?" seonghwa asks, hand coming to give your thigh a squeeze before he lets you play with his hand.

"wooyoung is being a jerk," you said with a dramatic sigh. "first he didn't kiss me before he went back to his room this morning, then he literally wouldn't let me near sannie. like what even, that bastard."

"is that what this is all about? because he didn't kiss you this morning?"

"yes... he always kisses me before he leaves my room. not to mention he also hit my nose and didn't apologize," you grumble.

"goodness, my poor y/nnie, what will i do with you?"

"can you kiss me, please?"

"of course, baby," he says as you both turn to face each other, seonghwa slots his plush lips against yours smiling as he feels how eager you are to kiss him. when he pulls away, his runs his tongue over his lips, "new lip gloss?"

"its strawberry," you say.

"i like it," he says before kissing you again and no doubt smudging your lip gloss, but you don't care. you had no more schedules and couldn't wait to get back to the hotel.

back at the hotel, you had managed to convince seonghwa to come to your room with you. seonghwa had told you he would be in your room after he changed. walking into your hotel room, you quickly got changed before you laid down on your bed, waiting for seonghwa.

you were in the middle of reading your book when a knock sounded on your door. getting up, you walk over to answer it, thinking it was seonghwa, "wow, you changed fast, oppa."

however, you were not greeted by seonghwa, instead san was standing in your doorway, dressed in his usually black shirt and grey sweatpants.

"hi, pretty," he says, and you smile at him before you let him in, closing the door behind him.

"what are you doing?" you ask as you lay back down on your bed with him joining you.

"nothing, i just wanted to see my girl," he says as he pulls you into his arms.

"since wooyoung decided that we couldn't be together," you reply back teasingly, cause san to laugh in return.

"he told me on the way back that he was doing it because he was trying to play your game, whatever that means," he said, "he said that since you were being a brat, then he could also be a brat."

"ugh, whatever, he's the one that didn't kiss me this morning. only far if i didn't do it back," you say back with an annoyed huff.

"all this over a kiss?" san asked, eyebrow raised and he had the same tone as seonghwa did when you told me.

you shrug your shoulders, "you guys spoil me," you say as you sit up to look at san who laughed at your response.

"so its our fault that you expect kisses?"

"that's right, you guys give me too much love," you say, leaning down to kiss him as you feel his hands grab at your hips. your own hands rested on his chest, easily feeling his muscles underneath his shirt. without breaking the kiss, you move to straddle his lap with your hands running up and down his abs before sliding underneath his shirt. san's hands were no better, one running underneath your own shirt while his other one squeezed your ass.

however, before you both could do anymore another knock sounded at your door. you broke the kiss sitting up, "that must be seonghwa-oppa," you say, moving to try and get up to answer the door.

another knock sounds again, this one a little more harshly than the first, "okay, okay i'm coming. calm down!" you say before opening the door. you were once again greeted with someone who wasn't your eldest boyfriend, seriously? where was he? instead it was the boyfriend you were currently "beefing" with.

"finally! about ti–

you close the door in his face before he could finish, well you tried to close it, but his stupid foot was in the way. wooyoung then easily let himself in (but were you really trying to stop him), and he comes further into your hotel room where he finds san laying down in your bed.

wooyoung then turns to look at you with a glare, pointing his finger at you as you close your door and walk past him. joining san back on the bed. "so you'll kiss him, but not me!?"

san furrowed his eyebrows letting out a small "hey" but both you and wooyoung ignored him.

"san's my boyfriend too, wooyoung," you said, deadpanning at your younger lover.

"so why won't you kiss me if i'm your boyfriend too?"

"because maybe i don't want to!" you said with a huff and wooyoung let out a groan in annoyance at you. san just sat there, watching it all.

"what did i do, y/n! just tell me so you can stop being a brat," he huffed, blowing some hair out of his face.

"you're acting pretty bratty yourself, woo," you say back as you cross your arms and lean against the headboard.

"come ooooooonn, y/nnie, i'm dying here without a kiss from you," he says before dramatically falling onto the bed. he tries to grab your ankle but you quickly pull your feet away from him, making him pout. you think you heard him mumble 'brat' under his breath but you didn't really care.

then something popped into your head as you watched wooyoung roll around and whine, eyes then drifting to san who still sat watching you both. "you want a kiss from me?" you ask, its rhetorical but wooyoung still nods. he's desperate. "okay," you say before turning to san and gently turning his head to look at you, "will you do me a favor sannie?"

"sure," he says and doesn't have time to say anything else before you're pressing your lips to his harshly. san hums into the kiss but before it could go too far, you pull away, wiping the spit that connected the two of you.

"give that wooyoung for me," you say, taking a deep breath and you notice wooyoung perking up from his spot. san can only nod before he's moving to where wooyoung is, cupping your shared boyfriend's face before he's kissing him the same way you had to san.

you watch san break the kiss, but before he could move away wooyoung is pulling him back down for another one; however, when he pulls away wooyoung says, "give that to y/n."

san obeys and you lean over to meet san as he delivers wooyoung's kiss to you. you let out a small laugh as san moves away, but again not far enough to not let you pull him back to give him yet another kiss to give to wooyoung. you move back to your original position as you watch wooyoung sit up in order to kiss san, the younger running his hands through san's hair which somehow manages to perfectly fall back into place.

this continues for several more minutes – how long exactly, you aren't sure, but you definitely aren't complaining and you don't think san or wooyoung are complaining either. your lips are starting to feel a little swollen from how long you've been kissing though and your two lovers' lips don't look any better.

san and wooyoung were kissing when a knock sounded at your door. san tried to stop you from leaving, squeezing your thigh but you slipped off the bed and over to the door.

third time's the charm, seonghwa smiled at you brushing hair out of your face as you wrapped your arms around him. who knew kissing could make you so tired. "what you doing, angel? why are your lips so swollen looking?"

"wooyoung," you say as seonghwa guides the two of you into your room, you never letting go. you hear seonghwa let out a dry laugh as he sees wooyoung and san on your bed. the eldest watches as you let go of him in order to crawl back on the bed and san takes the opportunity to kiss you, easily switching from wooyoung to you like it was second nature to him now.

"what are you all doing?" seonghwa asks as he stands at the foot of the bed, still watching you all.

"y/n wouldn't kiss me, so we are trading kisses between san," wooyoung says.

seonghwa raises his eyebrow at wooyoung's response, "still? y/nnie, just kiss him already! i don't think he'll forget to kiss you again after this."

"what?" wooyoung says, surprised by seonghwa's words. forget to kiss you? oh shit, he did forget to kiss you this morning before he left. "y/nnie," wooyoung says, crawling over to you, wrapping himself around you so you couldn't move away. "i'm sorry, baby, i promise i won't ever forget to kiss you again, just please don't make me suffer like this again," he says.

"you promise?" you say grabbing his face to make him look at you.

"i promise, baby," he says, you let out a small noise before you're finally kissing wooyoung. your lips smashing against his and wooyoung wastes no time in kissing you back. he felt like he was lost in a desert and finally found water. damn, did he love kissing you.

when you pulled away, you noticed how wooyoung finally looked at peace and you smiled at him as you moved the hair away from his face. "better?"

"you have no idea," he says, pressing a light kiss to your lips.

"well, it was nice playing kiss express with you both, but i'm gonna go lay down in my own bed," san says, leaning over to kiss both you and wooyoung before he gets up. san makes sure to give seonghwa a kiss as well before he leaves your room.

you look to seonghwa before patting the space next to you, the eldest of ateez smiles at you before joining you and wooyoung in your bed. you turn in wooyoung's hold in order to cuddle up with seonghwa.

"hwa, please turn a movie on," you ask and seonghwa nods, doing the necessary things in order to get a movie playing on the tv. then the three of you are settling in, seonghwa even pulling an extra blanket out and covering you three.

you can't help but feel sleep slowly take over as the movie plays, the sound of it acting as background noise as seonghwa's chest rising and falling softly, slowly lulling you to sleep. wooyoung was already out, his head nuzzled into your neck as his arms are wrapped around your waist. you look up at seonghwa who looks down at you with a smile.

"go to sleep, angel, i'll wake you up later," he says.

"for dinner? will you eat with me?"

"of course, get some rest," he says, kissing the top of your head as you relax back on his chest. eyes closing and sleep finally taking over.

note : wow 😮‍💨 this was a ride lol thanks for reading! title was inspired by a take with my bestie braincell 🖤

[multicohn]

summary: isack is a big fan of singer y/n l/n.

warnings: a few hate ( not really hate ) comments, one mention about body figure ( nothing weird or anything, but i’ve seen others putting it no matter )

pairing: fem! singer! reader x isack hadjar

genre: smau, fluff, secret relationship

face claim: manon bannerman

author note: in honour of katseye’s comeback! ( this has been in my drafts for ages cause i wanted to expand the comments but for the LIFE of me could not — enjoy anyways 👍 )

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visacashapprb

liked by user and others

visacashapprb: lessssgo! your first garage playlist of ‘25 just dropped 🔥 #F1 #VCARB #AusGP

view all comments

user: ateez? skz? aespa? i know i picked the right team

user: PLAYLISTS ARE BACK! LETS GO 🗣🗣

user: y’all are the reason my music taste has changed 😭

user: trust vcarb to bring the diversity

user: Y/N MENTIONED?!

| user: oh isack hadjar you are my favourite rookie rn

user: why does every choice EAT

user: okay vcarb i see you 👀

user: might just switch teams

user: isack with ( song ) by y/n l/n? HELLO???!!

| user: he’s a big fan!

| user: really?

| user: yep! there are some eps on campos’ yt ( his old team ) and chasing the dream where he’s listening to her music

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youruser

liked by isackhadjar and others

youruser: who’s letting me cook rn?

view all comments

user: NEW MUSIC?!!?!

user: THE OUTFUTS??? GIRL HELLO

user: y/n proving that she is indeed the princess of pop

user: DO I SEE A ROYAL CONCEPT

user: okay but the last pic is so gf coded

user: THE DROUGHT IS OVER LETS FKING GO 🗣😭🔥🙏🕺😍

user: here before isack

| user: who?

| user: he’s an f1 driver who’s a big fan of her!

| user: oh

user: body tea

| user: my dream body fr

isackhadjar: so excited!

| youruser: !!!

| user: who is this random man

| user: he’s an f1 driver

| user: back off

| user: wait he’s actually kinda cute

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youruser

liked by isackhadjar and others

youruser: photodump

view all comments

user: A MAN

user: NO I THOUGHT SHE WAS WLW 😭💔

user: I CANT DO THIS

user: girl you aren’t slick

user: im actually sobbing rn

user: clutching my shirt as i bend over with tears in my eyes and sobs threatening my throat

| user: stealing this.

user: my girl never stays in one place

user: I know we’re all freaking out over her no longe evening single BUT HER CAT IS SO CUTE

| youruser: THANK YOU ( his / her ) name is ( cat name )

| user: YN BABE WHO IS THAT MAN

| user: YN PLEASE I CANT DO THIS YOU WERE MY LOSR HOPE

user: goodbye my delusions. ill miss you

user: three and five being taken by her bf and the others were probably sent to him first 💔

| user: hey so commenting is an option which you shouldn’t have done!

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youruser

seen by user and more

|

|

|

user: japan?

user: i love japan

user: mv shoot?

user: F1 IS IN JAPAN? SUZUKA GP?

user: have fun!

user: so jealous!!!!!

isackhadjar: can’t wait to see you :)

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f1

liked by isackhadjar and others

f1: a star has arrived at the paddock

( tagged: youruser )

view all comments

user: WHO IS THIS DIVA

user: THE OUTFIT??? OH SHE DEVOURED

user: need to know where she for her jeans from

user: need a pic of her and lewis

user: who’s this?

| user: y/n l/n! she’s a singer :)

user: just another clueless celeb 🙄

user: here’s an idea! invite people who ACTUALLY know about f1!

| user: isack hadjar is a fan of her 🧍 he probably invited her

| user: what if she is a fan of f1? what do you know about her?

| user: get my queens name out of your nasty mouth.

user: okay but who’s garage is she in?

| user: racing bulls 🙏

| user: guess we’ll have to see

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visacashapprb

liked by isackhadjar and others

visacashapprb: admin wanted to gatekeep but got yelled out for doing so 😔

( tagged: youruser )

view all comments

user: SHE IS WITH RACING BULLS

user: admin please tell me if isack is still breathing

| visacashapprb: can confirm that he is

user: isack you better pull through.

| user: the points are calling his name

| user: hadjoints 🙏

user: deserved.

user: oh she’s stunning

user: her hair though 😍😍

user: admin you were fav, but you wanted to gatekeep this pic of my gf? bottom of the pyramid 🫵

| visacashapprb: NO

user: a literal angel

user: the way she’s glowing 😍😍

user: no clue who this was before, but my heart jumped out of my chest when she appeared on screen during free practice

user: isack i completely understand you.

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f1 and 2 others

liked by youruser and others

f1: isack hadjar scored his first ever points in f1 with a spectacular p8 👏 #f1 #formula1 #japanesegp

view all comments

user: HELL YEAH

user: FINALLY

user: deserved

user: HADJOINTS

user: the only thing that keep me interested the entire race

| user: real

user: THATS MY ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

user: y/n was in the garage and he knew that he had pull through

user: I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU ISACK

user: been a fan of him since f3! so glad to see him get points

user: ISACK WDC WHEN????

youruser: good job isack 👍

| isackhadjar: thank you y/n 🥹

| user: isack…

| user: down ASTRONOMICALLY bad ( me too )

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youruser

liked by isackhadjar and others

youruser: mv just dropped! shoutout to racing bulls f1 driver isack hadjar aka my issy who is the inspiration behind this album. i love you so much ❤️💙🤍

( tagged: isackhadjar )

view all comments

user: WHAT THE HELL????

user: dude scored points and got hard launched? isack is winning life rn

user: YN I COULD YOU BETTER

| isackhadjar: no you can’t.

| user: 🧍‍♀️

| user: LMAO

user: ISSY? SHE CALLS HIM ISSY 😭😭

thomasdriver83: very offended that i knew nothing.

| isackhadjar: 🤷‍♂️

| thomasdriver83: im going to jump you.

| sami_meguetounif: *we

isackhadjar: my beautiful girl 🫶

| youruser: my handsome boy 🫶

user: from fan to boyfriend — talk about something straight out of a movie

| isackhadjar: i took my shot and it worked!

| user: wish i had your luck

user: how long have you’s been together?

| youruser: a year now, but we’ve been friends for a while :)

| user: A YEAR

| youruser: yep. we wanted to keep things a secret which is why it’s only coming out now

| isackhadjar: it wasn’t my choice ☹️

| youruser: i’ll make it up to you 🙃

| isackhadjar: 👀

| user: OH!

isackhadjar: i love my girlfriend guys

| youruser: i love you so much

| user: OH MY SHAYLAS 😭😭😭

| user: girl you were JUST praying on yns breakup

| user: i’ve changed. they are everything to me now.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mention of abandonment issues, stealing, mention of abuse, mental health words -> 2.5k

abstract -> never worry someone who could blackmail you as punishment...

mingi’s perspective

How was I this unlucky?

I should’ve listened to Yunho… I shouldn’t have robbed her. She always had one of her hybrids around and of course, she had one yesterday… Why wouldn’t she?

“Hey, buddy. You’re done with the evaluation today. You're code green!” One of the workers said and I nodded.

He kept writing things on that clipboard of his… in front of the kennels…

“I wanna see Yunho,” I muttered and he sighed. “His owner took him. I doubt you’ll be able to see them unless they come here.” He said as he led me inside the facility again. I missed him.

“What do you want? Money? Name your price!!” I heard as we went to the reception area. “Mingi!” I heard as I saw Yunho. I came up to him and hugged him but I saw he winced a little bit.

“I’m sorry” I apologized and he chuckled. “It’s okay. We’ll be together soon” he said and I doubt that’ll ever happen. Empty promises… he often liked to give me false hope. 

“Miss, we can't give you her phone number because you asked. That’s a violation of privacy and security—“ ”I don’t care! That bitch got my husband fired!” She yelled hysterically. “The girl is apparently a CEO's daughter and now he’s fired because of how she treated her yesterday,” Yunho said and I laughed. It was deserved. 

“I’ll pay you… a thousand dollars” she offered and I sighed. She’ll never change… but I guess that's just who she is… “Come on, Mingi '' I heard one of the workers wanting to lead me away. “Huh? Please can I stay for a little?” I begged and he sighed but nodded. He was unleashing me when the receptionist came up.

“Chenle, can’t I just give her y/n’s phone number and get a thousand dollars?” the boy asked and I almost laughed. It was easy money and for a lot.

“Is it really worth it?” the other boy… Chenle asked. “Huh?! Of course, it is! I’m sorry you’re so rich you can afford anything like y/n” he pouted… He was also rich? Must be nice… being human and no worries. 

“If you give her y/n’s phone number she’ll kill you” Chenle warned and the receptionist pouted.  “She’ll understand,” he said and Chenle scoffed. “You’re playing with fire,” Chenle said and the receptionist shrugged. 

“I’m sorry but I have a business to attend to,” the doctor said as he left my previous owner…

“What are you doing here?” She asked while looking at me. “What if I call y/n to come here? That wouldn’t be a violation of privacy?” The receptionist offered and she smirked.

“Then do it,” she said but he put his hand out. She rolled her eyes and gave him a check of what I assumed to be a thousand.

“She’s gonna kill him, '' Chenle muttered to himself and it seemed to get Yunho's attention. “Is she scary?” Yunho asked and the worker sighed “y/n? Kinds of… I mean she only gets angry and she already humiliated and insulted one of her hybrids so yeah she’ll be mad to be tricked by Haechan'' he explained and I realized she protected her hybrids.

She really did care a lot for them. 

“y/n!!” The receptionist said. “Idiot” Chenle muttered. “Kun wants to do a last-minute check on San. Hmm? No, it’s nothing serious but he wants to go over some lab results he missed from his last check-up” the receptionist said. 

“Ok, thank you. See you see y/n” he said and told the devil herself to sit down.

“Easy!” He said to Chenle and the boy only scoffed. “Even if I was in debt like you, I wouldn’t mess with y/n. She got her husband fired, she can get you fired. You know how much Kun respects her” Chenle said and the boy chuckled. 

“But a thousand dollars!” He said and he rolled his eyes. “Haechan, you’re dead. Take care of Mingi, I actually have work to do unlike you” he said as he left me with Haechan.

“I heard you were code green. Congratulations!” He said and I smiled while looking at Yunho. “Is y/n a bad person?” Yunho asked and Haechan shook her head. 

“One of the best people. She’s just scary when mad, she is a CEO’s daughter” he chuckled and I sighed. Eventually, I was just sitting in silence by Yunho… I missed him a lot. We were never separated for this long… I was alone.

It didn’t even take long until I saw the familiar girl but with her panther hybrid… a hybrid that Yunho seemed to be scared of in the rare chance he accompanied her. Haechan approached her and I heard him apologize in advance.

“y/n right?” the devil said and the girl glared at the receptionist who was admiring his check. 

“Look, I want you to take back whatever kid bratty behavior this is. You’re messing with people's lives honey and—“  “I don’t really care what you have to say. If you’re so worried about your lives you would've been nicer to others” she said and the devil scoffed.

“Oh come on! Just tell daddy that what you said was some joke and that—""Why don’t you tell your husband for a divorce since I feel bad his career was ruined because of your mouth” she said and I felt my eyes widen. I looked at Yunho who had the same expression. The devil was gonna slap her but the hybrid seemed to react faster when he grabbed her hips and pushed her back. 

He growled at her for attempting to hit her. 

“What’s going on here?!” I heard as I saw the doctor. “Look, miss, you need to leave before I call the police.” The doctor said, “You should call the police, she's crazy,'' y/n said and the devil incarnate grabbed Yunho's collar and took him with her. 

“Why’d you come?” The doctor asked and I was now alone. Yunho is gone again… I had no one… again.  

“I don’t know. Haechan, why was I here again?” She asked annoyedly and the boy smiled awkwardly.

“I’m gonna take my fifteen minute break”

“Sorry y/n and San” Kun said and I shook my head. “It's not your fault and I can't blame Haechan too much, he is a student in debt.'' I said and he smiled softly while bowing.

“Can I ask how the situation is going?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Yunho and Mingi were both adopted at a young age from breeders. Yunho is a golden retriever hybrid, whilst Mingi is a wolf hybrid. However, he was the runt of the litter whilst Yunho was the only hybrid born from his mother. Their owner originally wanted to adopt only one hybrid but adopted the two” he explained.

“But why would she change her mind?” San asked and I could tell Kun was a bit stressed with how he started organizing his paperwork.

“They're a bonded pair. Almost like mates, but being separated is affecting Mingi's health. So it wasn't recommended to separate them when they were so young and it still isn’t” he explained and I felt bad for the wolf. “It’s almost as if San or Wooyoung would be separated from you. Even though your tigers and dog hybrid care about you, those two are unhealthily attached to you…” he said and I knew what he meant. How they reacted when they thought I was dead was… an example. 

“What’s the difference between the two then? She seems to prefer the dog?” San asked and Kun agreed. “She explained that she didn’t expect the hybrids to be so tall yet so big in size. She has kids and she even claimed that he attacked her kids, but he isn't remotely violent at all. The golden retriever would do more damage before the wolf would” he explained and I was assuming she lied about it to get rid of him easily. 

“I want him to apologize to you,” San said to me and I looked at him a little shocked. “San, he was doing it to survive-” “He still stole from you…” he said and I turned to Kun who looked at me a little mischievously… “Why are you looking at me that way?” I asked and he chuckled softly.

“Here,” he said as he handed me a pamphlet for… fostering hybrids. 

“No–” me and San said but were both interrupted. “For now, so he can forget about Yunho, he’s going through depression and all of the green code hybrids have been transferred or can’t be with other hybrids. He is going through a dependent disorder, which I think can be broken by being with other hybrids” he said and I really felt bad and a little guilty… even though I shouldn’t.

“Just for a week” he begged and I sighed. Before I could deny he reminded me why I hate men. “You owe me for letting you adopt the two tiger hybrids and stressing me out,” he said and I scoffed. 

“Fine,” I said knowing I couldn’t do anything with that card he pulled. “But he isn’t staying with us permanently right?” San asked and I shook my head.

Kun soon called in Jisung who was leading us to Mingi… “Another hybrid? Are you–” I interrupted him by showing him the pamphlet and he laughed. “You’re getting blackmailed by Kun?!” he let out and I rolled my eyes.

“Mingi, come on we want you to meet someone,” he said as he looked up at his sitting position to widen his eyes in shock and I could tell he was a little scared.

“I-I’m sorry! R-really I… I don't–” “Calm down, buddy. Deep breaths she isn't gonna do anything to you. She’s here to help, think of it as your treatment” he explained and the wolf nodded slowly not knowing what was happening. 

“Ok so the foster hybrid process is–”

mingi’s perspective

My treatment was under a foster hybrid program with y/n. The woman I stole from… the woman who I shouldn't have stolen or else I would’ve been with Yunho… a woman with five hybrids who will hate me.

I expect her to get back on me… maybe starve me? Or hit me? Any form of punishment 

I don’t know yet… Her hybrids seem pretty happy and healthy? I couldn’t assume though, she might be an awful person and abuse them… but Yunho said he didn’t think so.

“We’re here, you’ll be sharing with my tiger hybrid, Hongjoong,” she said and I think she meant the tiger that was with her the day we were caught… the one who almost attacked us? 

“y/n! You're back! Yeosang is being mean… ” I saw a fox hybrid happily approach her only to stop at the sight of me. “You started… it?” I soon saw a dog hybrid glare at me… both were confused at seeing an unknown hybrid in their home. 

“This is Mingi… Kun asked me a favor and we’ll be fostering him for a week” she explained and the fox scoffed. “Fostering?” the dog said, confused. “It's a program where you can trial run a hybrid to see if they are a good fit for you” the fox explained and the dog glared. 

“No! The tigers are enough and now him! You didn’t even ask us!” he said angrily. “The doctor technically blackmailed her to take him. He won’t stay here for long… only a week” the panther glared at me.

I already didn’t feel wanted. 

The fox and dog glared at me. “Come on… don’t be mean,” she said softly while approaching the fox hugging him. He hugged her back tight… She also smiled sweetly at the dog who caressed her head.

“Fine… but there's no room for him in my room with Seonghwa, he’s already enough to deal with,” the dog said and she smiled softly. ‘He’ll be with Hongjoong” she said and he laughed. 

“Tell him that, he literally locks himself in there,” he said and I think my roommate won’t like me already.

“Is y/n back?” I heard as I saw the two tigers who stopped at the sight of me. “YOU!” the orange tiger yelled and I panicked. “Why is he here?!” he yelled and I wanted to leave… bury myself in a hole. 

“You know him?” the panther asked and he scoffed. 

“He’s the wolf hybrid who robbed y/n!” he said and they all looked at me hatefully… this wasn’t a good idea. “Come on… he did it to survive. Hongjoong don’t act like you never wanted to escape. All of you did besides Wooyoung” she scolded and they all looked away from her but the fox. 

“His friend was taken away from him. So be nice, he doesn’t have a home and he’s not as lucky as you guys” she said and they nodded. “Sorry y/n,” they said. 

“Hongjoong, he’ll be sharing rooms with you– “ he looked shocked and was about to argue “Only temporary! Please?” she asked and he sighed but didn’t have any other choice but to nod even though I could tell he didn’t want to.

“Mingi, are you hungry?” she asked me and I was but I didn’t know if this was a trap… she didn’t seem bad. They all seemed like happy hybrids. I shook my head despite not eating today.

“Hongjoong show him your new room okay?” 

“I’m sorry for what she said to you by the way,” I said to the tiger who I saw froze for a second before shaking his head. “It’s not your fault… you should be apologizing to y/n for stealing from her. And for tricking her like the two of you did, she felt betrayed” he explained and I nodded. 

“Yunho really liked her…” I muttered and he didn't say anything. 

“I really like your hair,” I said and he smiled softly. “Thanks… y/n said I could get it done. I was overdue for a haircut,” he said and I smiled softly. 

“I’ve been to your show before,” I said… and he sighed. “I’m sorry you went through that…” I added and he nodded. “Just don’t mention it around me or Seonghwa… he's the other tiger hybrid,” he said and I nodded. 

“Anything else I should avoid?” I asked and he nodded. “Don’t get too close to San… he’ll attack you. He isn’t too good with new people especially hybrids” he explained and I was curious as to why…

“Also don’t show, Wooyoung, you're annoyed with him. He’ll be upset. While staying away from Yeosang he’s very possessive of y/n '' he explained and I was overwhelmed. 

“What?” I asked and he chuckled. 

“You’re an intruder. y/n is our mate, while you're an unmated male in our territory. San will attack you if you're too close, Yeosang will talk badly about you to y/n, Seonghwa will likely avoid you, and I’m also cautious of you… Wooyoung is the best bet. If you befriend him the others will like you also. 

I needed to befriend Wooyoung… who was he again?

“I don’t know how much progress you’ll make in a week though” 

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[velvetvisionsaurora]

Pairing: Hongjoong x reader, Seonghwa x reader, Yunho x reader, Mingi x reader, Wooyoung x reader.

Summary: Five eight-year-old boys aboard the slave ship Crimson Serpent form an unbreakable bond with five-year-old y/n. before she's sold at auction. Despite their failed rescue attempt, they swear a blood oath on her teddy bear to find her. Fifteen years later, now feared pirates leading the ATEEZ

Warnings: Slavery/Human Trafficking, Separation/Loss, Violence, Eventual Smut. SA(not by any main characters) y/n gets switched to a real name but it has a purpose. More warnings to be updated.

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Authors note: Thank you for the love so far on this fic! I’ve spent a lot of time on it and I love sharing it with you! Please comment and let me know what you think! I’m about 4 chapters ahead so I’ll update as much as I can!💜

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Masterlist

Chapter 3

The Auction

*Fifteen Years Later*

Captain Kim Hongjoong of the infamous pirate vessel ATEEZ adjusted his hat lower over his eyes as he entered Halazia's eastern auction house. The cavernous building stank of perfumed wealth mingling with human fear—a scent he recognized from countless similar establishments across a dozen ports. Behind him, Quartermaster Park Seonghwa moved with characteristic silent grace, his elegant attire belying the deadly weapons concealed beneath his finely tailored coat.

"I despise these places," Seonghwa murmured, voice pitched for Hongjoong's ears alone. His face maintained the bored expression expected of wealthy buyers, while his eyes continuously scanned for threats.

"We're only here for information," Hongjoong reminded him. Their actual purpose was intelligence gathering about shipping routes—specifically, vessels owned by the Southern Trade Company. "One hour, then we leave."

Fifteen years had transformed the frightened cabin boys of The Crimson Serpent into men feared throughout the maritime world. At twenty-three, Hongjoong commanded not just his ship but a reputation that made naval captains alter course at the mere rumor of the ATEEZ's black sails on the horizon. His slender build and youthful features often led enemies to underestimate him—a fatal mistake many had not lived to repeat.

Seonghwa, tall and imposing at his side, had perfected an air of elegant menace that served their purposes well in places like this. His immaculate appearance and cold eyes suggested aristocratic danger—a man comfortable in society's highest circles yet capable of ordering executions between sips of fine wine.

They moved deeper into the auction house, nodding to merchants who recognized them only by reputation and gave them wide berth. The ATEEZ's unusual code was well known in maritime circles: they never harmed children, attacked slave ships rather than merchant vessels, and left distinctive compass marks on the foreheads of slave traders they encountered. This last practice had earned them the nickname "The Compass Crew" among frightened traders.

"Southern Trade Company representatives?" Hongjoong asked quietly as they claimed seats near the back of the room.

Seonghwa inclined his head slightly toward a cluster of well-dressed men near the auctioneer's platform. "Navy blue jackets with gold buttons. Victor Blackwell himself doesn't appear to be present."

Hongjoong nodded, memorizing faces for future reference. Victor Blackwell, owner of the Southern Trade Company, had risen to prominence in the slave trade over the past fifteen years. His name had appeared with increasing frequency in their investigations, though the man himself remained elusive.

"The auction begins in twenty minutes," Seonghwa noted, consulting his pocket watch. "We should have sufficient time to observe their bidding patterns and identify key vessels before departing."

"Agreed." Hongjoong shifted in his seat, uncomfortably aware of the small object nestled in the custom-sewn inner pocket of his captain's coat. For fifteen years, he had carried Mr. Hugs with him to every port, every auction house, every place where slaves were bought and sold. The teddy bear had become both talisman and conscience, a constant reminder of their unfulfilled promise.

Today was no different. Their annual return to Halazia always included visits to auction houses, following the slim possibility that they might find some trace of a girl long since grown to womanhood—if she had survived at all. After fifteen years of searching, hope had worn thin, but the obligation remained.

"We should begin considering alternatives," Seonghwa said, continuing a conversation they'd had many times. "Wooyoung's intelligence network has expanded significantly. Perhaps centralized record searching rather than physical presence would be more efficient."

Hongjoong didn't respond immediately. The same thought had occurred to him with increasing frequency. Fifteen years of searching auction houses and slave quarters had yielded nothing. The little girl they had known was now twenty, if she lived. Her appearance would have changed beyond recognition. Even her name might be different, slave owners often renaming their property to erase former identities.

Yet something kept him returning to these despised places, something beyond rational strategy. Perhaps it was simply that he couldn't bear to break their blood oath by admitting defeat.

"After today's auction," he finally conceded. "We'll discuss it with the others."

Seonghwa nodded, recognizing the significance of this small surrender. Before he could respond further, a bell rang, signaling the auction's commencement.

The auctioneer, a corpulent man in expensive but ill-fitting clothes, took his position on the platform as the first "merchandise" was brought forward—a middle-aged man with the muscled build of a dockworker, his eyes downcast as his physical attributes were described in clinical detail.

Hongjoong observed the Southern Trade Company representatives, noting which items drew their interest and which they ignored. The pattern confirmed their intelligence: the company was focusing on specialized labor, particularly those with maritime skills, likely for their expanding shipping fleet.

The auction proceeded with mechanical efficiency, human beings reduced to commodities with listed attributes and prices. Hongjoong maintained his impassive expression through years of practice, though the familiar weight of Mr. Hugs against his chest seemed heavier with each sale concluded.

"We have what we need," he murmured to Seonghwa after thirty minutes. "Their purchasing pattern is clear."

Seonghwa nodded slightly. "Two more lots, then we leave without drawing attention."

As they prepared to depart, the auctioneer's voice cut through the general murmur of the crowd.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to our premium offering."

Something in his tone—a particular inflection of anticipated profit—made Hongjoong pause. The crowd's attention sharpened perceptibly as a young woman was led onto the platform.

"Observe," the auctioneer continued, "a domestic servant of exceptional quality. Twenty years old, healthy, literate, and trained in household management, music, and languages. Suitable for the finest households requiring a presentable, well-mannered addition."

Hongjoong's attention drifted from the auctioneer's patter to the woman herself. Unlike previous lots who stood with defeated postures or rebellious tension, she maintained a quiet dignity—back straight, eyes forward but unfocused, as if mentally elsewhere despite her physical presence.

Something about her struck him as vaguely familiar, though he couldn't identify what. Her features were delicate, framed by dark hair pulled severely back. Her simple dress, clearly provided for the auction, hung on a frame too thin for true health but not emaciated.

As he studied her, a strange sensation washed over him—not recognition exactly, but a curious pull, like a half-remembered dream. He found himself absentmindedly touching the pocket where Mr. Hugs rested, a gesture he hadn't consciously initiated.

"Note the excellent condition," the auctioneer continued, gesturing as if presenting a prize animal. "Previous owner was a gentleman merchant who maintained his property with care. No physical marks, no history of rebellion or escape attempts."

The audience murmured appreciatively, several potential buyers leaning forward with increased interest. The Southern Trade Company representatives conferred briefly before one raised his hand to signal interest.

"We'll begin the bidding at five hundred gold pieces," the auctioneer announced.

Bids came quickly, the price climbing as several wealthy merchants joined the competition. The woman on the platform remained expressionless, though Hongjoong noticed her eyes moving systematically across the room—not seeking assistance, but cataloging exits, noting guard positions, assessing threats. It was a behavior he recognized from his own crew when entering potentially hostile situations.

"Something's wrong," Seonghwa whispered, noticing Hongjoong's intense focus. "What is it?"

Hongjoong shook his head slightly, unable to articulate the strange sensation tugging at him. "I'm not sure."

The bidding continued, narrowing to three serious contenders—the Southern Trade Company representative, a nobleman in imported silk, and a naval officer whose insignia marked him as captain of a merchant vessel.

"Fifteen hundred," called the nobleman.

"Sixteen hundred," countered the naval officer.

"Eighteen hundred," the Southern Trade Company representative responded smoothly.

The woman's systematic scanning of the room suddenly stopped, her gaze fixing on something—or someone—in the audience. Hongjoong followed her line of sight to the Southern Trade Company representative, noting how her carefully maintained composure faltered briefly before reasserting itself.

"She knows him," he murmured to Seonghwa. "Or at least his organization."

Seonghwa's eyes narrowed as he observed the subtle interaction. "If Blackwell's company is specifically targeting her, there must be a reason."

"Two thousand gold pieces," announced the naval officer, drawing murmurs from the crowd at the exceptional price.

"Twenty-one hundred," the nobleman replied, though with visible hesitation.

"Twenty-five hundred," countered the Southern Trade representative without pause.

The woman's breathing quickened almost imperceptibly, the only sign of emotion breaking through her composed exterior. Whatever awaited her with the Southern Trade Company clearly terrified her, despite her efforts to hide it.

"Any advance on twenty-five hundred?" the auctioneer inquired, looking between the remaining bidders. The naval officer shook his head regretfully, while the nobleman wavered.

"Twenty-six hundred," the nobleman offered finally.

"Three thousand," responded the Southern Trade representative immediately.

A collective intake of breath swept through the audience. Three thousand gold pieces was an extraordinary sum for any slave, even one marketed as "premium."

The auctioneer's eyes gleamed with undisguised greed. "Three thousand gold pieces from the Southern Trade Company. Do I hear any advance?"

The nobleman shook his head, yielding to the aggressive bidding. The auctioneer raised his gavel, preparing to conclude the sale.

In that suspended moment, as the woman's carefully maintained facade began to crack with the finality of her fate, Hongjoong felt something shift within him. The weight of Mr. Hugs against his chest suddenly seemed to burn, a physical manifestation of a promise made fifteen years ago in blood and desperation.

"Twenty thousand," he said, his voice carrying clearly through the suddenly silent room.

Seonghwa's head whipped toward him, shock briefly displacing his cultivated composure. "Captain—" he began in an urgent whisper.

"Twenty thousand gold pieces," Hongjoong repeated firmly, ignoring his quartermaster's concern.

The auctioneer froze, gavel suspended in mid-air, face reflecting disbelief. "Sir, perhaps I misheard—"

"You did not." Hongjoong stood, allowing his coat to fall open enough to reveal the distinctive captain's insignia of the ATEEZ. "Twenty thousand gold pieces. In immediate payment."

The Southern Trade representative half-rose from his seat, face flushing with anger. "This is highly irregular. We were clearly—"

"Outbid," Hongjoong interrupted calmly, though his heart pounded against his ribs where Mr. Hugs rested. "Unless you wish to offer more?"

A tense silence fell over the auction house. The ATEEZ's reputation guaranteed Hongjoong would not be physically challenged, but the unprecedented bid for an ordinary domestic slave created a situation outside normal protocols.

The auctioneer recovered first, professional greed overwhelming confusion. "Twenty thousand gold pieces bid by Captain Hongjoong of the... ATEEZ." He stumbled slightly over the name, clearly recognizing it. "Does the Southern Trade Company wish to respond?"

The representative conferred urgently with his colleagues before slowly resuming his seat. "We yield," he said tightly. "But this will be reported to Mr. Blackwell."

"I would expect nothing less," Hongjoong replied, unconcerned by the implied threat.

The auctioneer, visibly relieved to avoid conflict in his establishment, brought down his gavel with unnecessary force. "Sold! To Captain Hongjoong for twenty thousand gold pieces."

Throughout this exchange, the woman on the platform had remained frozen, her eyes widening slightly at Hongjoong's intervention. Her gaze moved between him and Seonghwa with a mixture of confusion and wariness, clearly unable to comprehend why unknown pirates would pay such an extraordinary sum for her.

"Payment will be rendered immediately," Hongjoong informed the auctioneer. "My quartermaster will oversee the transaction while I inspect my purchase."

Without waiting for a response, he strode toward the platform, aware of Seonghwa falling into step behind him after only a moment's hesitation. The crowd parted before them, whispers following in their wake.

As Hongjoong approached the platform, the woman's posture stiffened further, her chin rising slightly in a gesture of defiance despite her circumstances. Up close, he could see the controlled fear in her eyes—not of him specifically, but of change, of new ownership, of unknown intentions.

"Leave us," he instructed the guards flanking her. When they hesitated, his hand moved casually toward his weapon. "Now."

They retreated hastily, leaving Hongjoong alone with the woman as Seonghwa moved to handle the financial arrangements. For a long moment, neither spoke, mutual assessment flowing between them.

"Why?" she finally asked, her voice soft but clear, containing none of the servile tone expected of merchandise addressing its new owner.

Hongjoong studied her face, still unable to identify what had compelled his impulsive action. "I'm not entirely certain," he admitted.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, searching his face for deception. "Twenty thousand gold pieces requires certainty, Captain."

The hint of challenge in her tone surprised him. Most slaves, particularly those described as "well-mannered," would display only fearful obedience to a new master—especially one with the ATEEZ's fearsome reputation. But there was something in her direct gaze, the slight tilt of her chin, that triggered a peculiar sense of familiarity.

For a heartbeat, the word "treasure" formed on his lips before he caught himself, startled by the unbidden impulse. He covered his confusion with a slight clearing of his throat.

"Perhaps I disliked the Southern Trade Company's interest in you," he offered instead, watching her reaction carefully.

A flash of genuine fear crossed her features before being quickly suppressed. "They would have paid far less than twenty thousand."

"True." He stepped closer, keeping his movements deliberate and non-threatening. "What's your name?"

She hesitated, as if weighing whether to answer truthfully. A shadow passed behind her eyes, something calculated and cautious.

"Ella," she said finally.

The name was not what Hongjoong had expected, though he couldn't have explained why. He felt a strange disappointment that made no logical sense.

"How long have you been enslaved?" he asked, voice carefully neutral.

"Fifteen years," she replied, watching him with increasing puzzlement. "Since I was five."

A jolt went through Hongjoong at this information, though he kept his expression neutral. Coincidences happened. Many children were enslaved at five. The timing meant nothing.

"Your previous owner," he continued, struggling to maintain casual interrogation. "Was it always the merchant mentioned by the auctioneer?"

She shook her head slightly. "No. I was initially purchased by Victor Blackwell. He... transferred me to one of his business associates 3 years ago."

Blackwell. The name registered immediately—owner of the Southern Trade Company, the very organization they had been investigating. The connection was too specific to be coincidental.

"Captain?" Seonghwa approached, having completed the financial transaction. "Everything is arranged. We should depart before complications arise."

Hongjoong nodded, his focus still on the woman—on Ella. "We're leaving," he confirmed, then addressed her directly. "You'll accompany us to our ship."

Wariness returned to her expression. "And what will be my duties aboard this ship, Captain?"

The implication was clear—what service would justify his extraordinary purchase? Hongjoong recognized the question as a way of preparing herself for whatever awaited, a survival strategy born of long experience.

"For now, simply to follow us without creating difficulties," he replied. "Further discussions can wait until we're safely aboard."

She studied him for a moment longer, then nodded once, decision made. "As you wish, Captain."

Seonghwa arranged his coat around her shoulders as they left the auction house, partially concealing her identity while providing protection from curious onlookers. The gesture, automatic and protective, drew a surprised glance from her but no comment.

As Seonghwa stepped ahead to clear their path, Hongjoong noticed the woman glance sideways at him with a strange expression—not fear or suspicion, but something closer to bewilderment, as if trying to place a half-remembered face. It faded quickly, replaced by the careful mask she maintained, but the moment left him unsettled.

They moved through Halazia's crowded streets with practiced efficiency, avoiding main thoroughfares where Southern Trade Company representatives might attempt confrontation. Hongjoong's mind raced with possibilities and questions that defied logical explanation.

The ATEEZ waited at the docks, black sails furled but distinctive even among dozens of vessels. Crew members paused in their duties as the captain, quartermaster, and unfamiliar woman approached. Whispers spread rapidly—word of Hongjoong's unprecedented auction bid had already reached the waterfront.

As they stepped onto the gangplank, Hongjoong noticed Ella's step falter momentarily, her eyes taking in the ship with an experienced assessment that surprised him. Her gaze lingered on details most would overlook—the modified rigging that allowed for superior speed, the disguised gun ports that hid their true firepower, the strategic positioning of lookout posts.

"Is something wrong?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head quickly. "No, Captain. I've simply... never been aboard a vessel like this."

Her answer seemed genuine, yet something in her careful observation suggested more than mere curiosity. She was searching for escape routes, defensive weaknesses, potential weapons—the behavior of someone who had learned to survive through constant vigilance.

"Jung Wooyoung," Hongjoong called to his cook, who was observing their arrival with undisguised curiosity from the main deck. "Prepare quarters for our guest."

Wooyoung approached with his characteristic flamboyant stride, though his eyes reflected the same questions evident throughout the crew. "Of course, Captain. The small cabin near yours is prepared, as always." His gaze swept over Ella with professional assessment rather than impropriety. "Food and fresh clothing, I assume?"

"Yes," Hongjoong confirmed. "And water for washing."

Ella watched this exchange carefully, her expression revealing nothing of her thoughts. When Wooyoung turned his attention fully to her, offering a theatrical bow that somehow managed to be both respectful and playful, she remained composed but watchful.

"Welcome aboard the ATEEZ," Wooyoung greeted her with a warm smile that had charmed information from countless sources. "I'm Jung Wooyoung, ship's cook and intelligence officer. And very much at your service."

For the briefest moment, something flickered in Wooyoung's eyes as he straightened from his bow—a flash of confusion quickly masked by his usual charm. Hongjoong noticed his cook's hand twitch slightly, as if he'd started to make a gesture and stopped himself.

"Thank you," Ella replied with perfect politeness, though Hongjoong noticed her attention moving past Wooyoung to the tall figure approaching from the foredeck.

Jeong Yunho's imposing height and powerful build often intimidated newcomers, but his gentle face and warm eyes typically reassured them quickly. As the ship's boatswain, his responsibilities for maintenance and deck operations kept him constantly visible to the crew, an unofficial morale officer through his natural optimism.

"Captain," Yunho greeted, then nodded respectfully to Ella. As their eyes met, an odd expression crossed his features—something between puzzlement and déjà vu, there and gone so quickly it might have been imagined.

"Is there anything you need prepared?" he continued smoothly, his professional demeanor reasserting itself.

"Ensure our departure preparations are complete," Hongjoong instructed. "I want to leave harbor before nightfall."

"Already underway," Yunho confirmed, his gaze flickering curiously to Ella before returning to his captain. "Mingi reports the cannons are secured for departure."

At the mention of the master gunner, Hongjoong saw Ella's attention sharpen slightly, though she maintained her carefully neutral expression. "Good. Tell him to join us for dinner in my quarters. You and Wooyoung as well."

Yunho nodded, offering a gentle smile to Ella before returning to his duties. Hongjoong noticed how her eyes followed the tall boatswain, something unreadable in her expression.

"Wooyoung will show you to your quarters," Hongjoong told her. "You'll find everything you need there. We dine at sunset."

She nodded, the perfect picture of compliance, though Hongjoong sensed calculation behind her composed exterior. "Thank you, Captain."

As Wooyoung led her below decks, chattering amiably about the ship and its amenities, Seonghwa moved closer to Hongjoong.

"Twenty thousand gold pieces," the quartermaster said quietly, not a question but a statement requiring explanation.

Hongjoong sighed, unable to articulate the impulse that had driven his unprecedented bid. "I don't know, Seonghwa. Something about her..."

Seonghwa hummed in contemplation.

"She matches the age and timeline," Seonghwa observed. "But so would hundreds of others."

"It's more than that. Did you see how she assessed the ship? How she watched us? There's something familiar in her movements."

Seonghwa hummed again, his voice dropping further. "When I placed my coat around her shoulders, I almost called her..." He stopped, shaking his head slightly. "It's foolish. A trick of memory and hope."

"She gave her name as Ella, not y/n,"He added, leaning against the railing.

"Slave names are often changed by their owners," Hongjoong countered. "You know this."

"True." Seonghwa’s voice remained measured. "And her connection to Blackwell is... convenient for our current mission."

"Did you notice Wooyoung's reaction?" Hongjoong asked. "He started to make that hand gesture he uses when excited, then caught himself. And Yunho—"

"I saw," Seonghwa interrupted. "But it proves nothing. We've been searching for fifteen years, Hongjoong. We've had false hopes before."

"I know." Hongjoong’s voice held rare emotion and frustration. "But we should observe her carefully."

"We'll proceed cautiously," Hongjoong decided. "Watch her, but reveal nothing about our search or our past."

"And Mr. Hugs?" Seonghwa asked quietly, referring to the teddy bear that normally sat prominently on Hongjoong's navigation table.

"I'll secure him in my private chest. She won't see him until we're certain. If she is..." he couldn't bring himself to say the name, "...if she is who we've been seeking, we need to understand why she's concealing her identity."

Seonghwa nodded, satisfied with this caution. "And if she isn't?"

The question hung between them, weighted with fifteen years of searching and the substantial sum just spent on its possibility.

"Then we've rescued someone from Blackwell's organization and potentially gained valuable intelligence," Hongjoong replied firmly. "Either way, I don't regret the purchase."

As he spoke, his hand unconsciously moved to the inner pocket where Mr. Hugs rested, feeling the familiar weight like a talisman against uncertainty. For fifteen years, they had searched for a little girl with a teddy bear. Now, a woman with guarded eyes and a carefully neutral expression had walked onto his ship, triggering inexplicable reactions from his most trusted officers.

Coincidence, or something more? The answer would have to wait.

Ella stood alone in the small cabin assigned to her, carefully assessing her new surroundings. The space was surprisingly comfortable for a pirate vessel—clean linens on a narrow but adequate bed, a small writing desk bolted to the floor, a washing basin with fresh water, and even a tiny porthole providing natural light.

The cook—Wooyoung—had shown her to the cabin with theatrical flourishes and genuine kindness that she found disconcerting after years of calculated cruelty or cold indifference. His cheerful chatter had seemed designed to put her at ease, but she recognized intelligence gathering when she experienced it. His casual questions about her preferences and background had been skillfully designed to extract information while appearing merely friendly.

She had responded with the careful blend of politeness and reticence that had kept her alive for fifteen years—answering directly but minimally, volunteering nothing beyond what was specifically asked. The act of submission without surrender that she had perfected under Blackwell's ownership.

Yet something about the cook's manner had triggered an odd sensation—a feeling of déjà vu so strong it had momentarily disrupted her careful composure. There had been a moment when he'd made a particular gesture, waving his hands animatedly as he described the galley, that had sent an unexpected pulse of familiarity through her. His bright, expressive face and theatrical movements seemed to echo from somewhere deep in her memory, though she couldn't place when or where she might have encountered him before.

Now, alone for the first time since the auction, she allowed herself a moment of genuine emotion. She sank onto the edge of the bed, hands trembling slightly as she processed the extraordinary events of the day.

Twenty thousand gold pieces. An amount so extraordinary it defied rational explanation. No domestic slave, regardless of training or appearance, was worth even a fraction of that sum. The Captain's impulsive bid made no logical sense unless he knew something about her—something worth more than a merchant captain's annual profits.

As she washed using the provided basin and changed into the clothing left for her—simple but well-made garments that fit surprisingly well—she considered her situation carefully. The consideration behind these preparations was puzzling. Pirates with a reputation for ruthlessness toward slave traders shouldn't show such care toward an auction purchase.

There had been moments on deck—the tall boatswain's gentle smile, the cook's theatrical bow, the careful way the captain had modulated his voice when addressing her—that had stirred strange emotional echoes. Like fragments of a dream she couldn't quite recall upon waking, they hovered just beyond the reach of clear memory.

It was dangerous to dwell on such feelings. Fifteen years had taught her that apparent kindness often masked deeper motives. Yet as she prepared for dinner with the captain and his officers, a strange wariness mingled with curiosity. Who were these men who had paid a fortune to purchase her, only to treat her with unexpected consideration?

The name she had given—Ella—was deliberate, a middle name. It was neither truth nor lie, simply a practical necessity. Fifteen years had taught her the value of partial truths. She would keep the name y/n to herself.

As sunset approached, bringing the promised dinner with the captain and his officers, she carefully reconstructed her composed exterior. Whatever their purpose in purchasing her, whatever they wanted from her, she would survive as she always had—observing, adapting, revealing nothing of herself until absolutely necessary.

Before leaving her cabin, she conducted her nightly ritual, though it was not yet time for sleep. The whispered names had kept her sane through fifteen years of captivity, five treasured syllables that connected her to the last moment she had felt truly safe:

"Joongie, Hwa, Woo, Yuyu, Puppy."

Like a prayer or a spell, the childhood nicknames centered her. Tonight, for reasons she couldn't explain, they seemed to carry particular weight, as if the words themselves were trying to tell her something just beyond her understanding.

Shaking off the strange feeling, she prepared to face the captain and his officers—to learn, if possible, why her freedom had been worth twenty thousand gold pieces to a man who didn't even know her name.

The captain's dining cabin was larger than Ella had expected, dominated by a heavy wooden table with seating for six. Maps and charts covered one wall, while navigational instruments occupied various surfaces. The space reflected its owner: organized but not sterile, functional but with surprising touches of personality. A bookshelf held volumes ranging from navigational texts to what appeared to be poetry. A collection of small carved animals lined one shelf—whales, dolphins, birds rendered with remarkable skill.

As she entered, escorted by Wooyoung, Ella paused briefly, an unexpected wave of déjà vu washing over her at the sight of the carved figures. Something about their simple but expressive shapes triggered a memory just out of reach—tiny wooden animals pressed into a small palm, meant to be hidden in the hem of a dress.

She pushed the bewildering sensation aside, focusing on maintaining her composed exterior as Captain Hongjoong rose slightly from his seat at the head of the table—a courtesy normally reserved for ladies of quality, not former slaves. The gesture caught her off-guard, another unexpected consideration that made her wary even as part of her responded to the simple dignity it afforded her.

"I trust you found your accommodations acceptable?" he inquired as she took the seat indicated.

"Very much so, Captain. Thank you."

Seonghwa sat to the captain's right, his elegant posture and immaculate appearance a contrast to Hongjoong's more relaxed bearing. Wooyoung settled beside her with characteristic flourish, while two empty chairs remained—presumably for the tall boatswain and the as-yet-unseen master gunner.

Before further conversation could develop, the door opened to admit Yunho, ducking slightly despite the cabin's generous headroom—a habitual motion for a man of his height. Behind him followed a figure Ella had not yet seen: a tall, powerfully built man whose broad shoulders and muscular arms marked him as someone accustomed to physical labor, though his movements held surprising grace.

"Forgive our delay, Captain," Yunho said with an easy smile. "Last-minute departure checks."

"All is secure," the newcomer added, his deep voice unexpectedly soft. His eyes briefly met Ella's before shifting away, a flash of something unreadable crossing his features.

"Excellent." Hongjoong gestured to the empty seats. "Join us."

As the two men settled at the table, the captain made formal introductions. "Ella, you've met Quartermaster Seonghwa and Cook Wooyoung. This is Jeong Yunho, our boatswain, and Song Mingi, master gunner."

Ella nodded acknowledgment to each, careful to maintain her composed expression despite a strange sensation that washed over her. Something about these five men together—their voices, their mannerisms, the way they moved in coordinated harmony—triggered a peculiar feeling of déjà vu so powerful it momentarily disoriented her.

Mingi, in particular, captured her attention. The powerful gunner moved with the careful precision of someone constantly aware of his size and strength, eyes often downcast, words minimal but meaningful. There was something achingly familiar in his reserved demeanor that made her chest tighten inexplicably.

"Before we begin," Hongjoong said, addressing the table but watching Ella specifically, "I should clarify your position aboard this ship."

She tensed slightly, prepared for the revelation of whatever purpose had driven her purchase.

"You are not a slave here," the captain stated firmly. "I purchased your freedom, not your person."

Murmurs of approval came from the others, particularly Yunho, whose warm smile widened at this declaration.

"That's…" Ella hesitated, genuinely caught off-guard by this statement. "Very generous, Captain. But why? Twenty thousand gold pieces is…"

"An unprecedented sum?" Hongjoong finished when she trailed off. The phrase sounded almost rehearsed, though his expression remained genuine. "Yes. I'm aware."

"What the captain means," Seonghwa interjected with characteristic precision, "is that the ATEEZ has a particular interest in disrupting the Southern Trade Company's operations. Your connection to Victor Blackwell makes you valuable to us."

"As an information source," Ella concluded, relaxing slightly as the explanation aligned with her expectations. This made sense—a strategic investment rather than an inexplicable impulse.

"Partly," Hongjoong agreed. "But also as a witness to their practices. Our campaign against slave traders requires evidence beyond rumors and hearsay."

Again, this aligned with logical objectives. The ATEEZ's unusual code—targeting slave ships while sparing merchant vessels—was apparently more than reputation. These men genuinely opposed the trade that had defined her existence for fifteen years.

"I see." She chose her words carefully. "And what happens once I've provided this information and testimony?"

"You'll be free to go wherever you wish," Hongjoong replied without hesitation. "With sufficient funds to establish yourself independently."

The matter-of-fact offer of both freedom and financial independence struck Ella as either extraordinary generosity or tactical manipulation. No one gave away twenty thousand gold pieces plus additional funds without expecting significant return on investment.

"That's… remarkably generous," she said cautiously.

"It's not generosity," Wooyoung interjected with unexpected seriousness beneath his typically light tone. "It's justice."

Something in his phrasing, in the conviction behind the words, triggered a strange flutter of memory that she couldn't quite grasp. It felt like trying to recall a dream upon waking—the sensation remained while the specifics evaporated.

"I'll help however I can," she promised, the words true despite her cautious reticence. Victor Blackwell had been the architect of her suffering for fifteen years—first directly, then through his business associate. Any opportunity to undermine his operations aligned perfectly with her own interests.

"Excellent," Hongjoong approved. "We'll begin formal questioning tomorrow. For tonight, simply rest and acclimate to the ship."

Wooyoung, seemingly eager to lighten the atmosphere, began serving the meal he had prepared—a surprisingly sophisticated fare for a pirate vessel, featuring fresh fish, vegetables, and even fruits that must have been purchased at significant expense in Halazia's markets.

"I hope the seasoning isn't too strong," he said as he placed a plate before her. The words seemed casual, but Ella noticed him watching her reaction carefully, as if testing something.

The spiced fish carried an unexpected flavor she hadn't tasted in years—star anise and cardamom in a particular combination that triggered another flash of memory: a small hand offering her a piece of sweetbread drizzled with honey, a conspiratorial wink, a whispered "Special treats for special people."

The memory faded as quickly as it had formed, leaving her momentarily disoriented. She recovered quickly, taking another bite to cover her confusion.

"It's perfect," she assured him. "I've always favored cardamom."

Something pleased flickered across Wooyoung's expressive face before he turned to serve the others. Across the table, she noticed Mingi watching her with that same unreadable expression, his dark eyes intense despite his minimal participation in the conversation.

As they ate, conversation flowed naturally among the officers, revealing dynamics clearly established through years of close association. Seonghwa's meticulous attention to detail balanced Hongjoong's more intuitive leadership. Wooyoung's theatrical storytelling drew reluctant smiles even from the quiet Mingi. Yunho's gentle mediating presence smoothed any moments of tension.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Ella observed it all carefully, noting both what was said and—more importantly—what wasn't. They asked her no personal questions beyond general inquiries about her comfort and preferences. The careful avoidance of her past suggested either unusual sensitivity or specific instruction from the captain.

Throughout the meal, she felt Hongjoong watching her with particular intensity during unguarded moments. Not the predatory assessment she had experienced from other men, but something more complicated—a searching look, as if trying to confirm a suspicion or memory.

Most disconcerting was Mingi's careful avoidance of direct interaction. The master gunner spoke little, primarily to answer direct questions from Hongjoong or respond to Yunho's gentle prompting. Yet Ella repeatedly caught him studying her when he thought her attention elsewhere, his expression unreadable but somehow pained.

As the meal concluded, Hongjoong addressed a question that had clearly been on the others' minds: "You may be wondering why I've included you in this initial meeting rather than questioning our guest privately."

The officers exchanged glances that confirmed this curiosity.

"The campaign against the Southern Trade Company involves us all," the captain continued. "Each of you will participate in gathering information from Ella based on your specific expertise and knowledge of Blackwell's operations."

This explanation seemed to satisfy them, though Ella sensed an undercurrent of something unspoken—as if the captain's words answered the stated question while leaving deeper curiosities unaddressed.

"For now," Hongjoong concluded, rising from his seat to signal the evening's end, "Wooyoung will escort you back to your quarters. Tomorrow, once we're safely away from Halazia, we'll begin more formal discussions."

As the others prepared to depart, Ella found herself unexpectedly reluctant to leave. Despite the strangeness of her situation and the uncertainty of her future, something about these five men stirred an odd feeling of déjà vu—a sensation so disorienting she had to focus on her breathing to maintain composure.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It was Wooyoung's laugh that triggered it first—a bright, musical sound that seemed to echo from somewhere deep in her memory. Then the way Seonghwa straightened items on the table with unconscious precision, as if disorder physically bothered him. The gentle care in Yunho's movements despite his size. The way Mingi's eyes briefly met hers before looking away. Even the captain's habit of rubbing the back of his neck when thinking deeply.

All of it felt hauntingly familiar in a way she couldn't possibly explain. These men were strangers—pirates who had purchased her for strategic information. Yet being among them felt like… remembering something she'd never consciously forgotten.

She shook off the unsettling sensation as Wooyoung escorted her back to her cabin, his cheerful chatter about the ship's daily routines washing over her like comfortable background noise.

"Sleep well," he said when they reached her door, his smile genuine in a way that made her chest ache with some unnamed emotion. "Tomorrow will be a new beginning."

Alone in her cabin, Ella carefully examined her surroundings once more, searching for any sign that these men might somehow know her true identity. Finding nothing conclusive, she prepared for sleep with the mechanical efficiency of someone accustomed to making do with brief rest.

As she had every night for fifteen years, she lay in the darkness and whispered the five names that had kept her sane through the worst moments of her captivity: "Joongie, Hwa, Woo, Yuyu, Puppy."

The childish nicknames were all she remembered of their real names—five boys who had protected her aboard a different ship long ago. Their faces had blurred with time, becoming more ideal than memory, but the nicknames remained crisp and clear, a litany that connected her to the last moment she had felt truly safe.

"Joongie, Hwa, Woo, Yuyu, Puppy," she repeated softly, a prayer and a promise that had sustained her through fifteen years of survival.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[tinybeetiny]

Build-A-Boyfriend Chapter 5: Why Are You Afraid of Me?

->Starring: AI!AteezxAfab!Reader ->Genre: Dystopian ->Cw: Feelings of anxiety, talks of fainting

Previous Part | Next Part

Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The lab was still. Quiet in that strange, stretched-out way that always followed a spectacle, when the last drone had docked, the final customer had left, and the launch music was nothing but a faint echo against the walls.

Yn lingered long after everyone else had gone. A tablet in hand, her badge clipped lopsided to her collar. Her back ached from standing all day, her eyes dry from hours of harsh lights and anxious watching. But she couldn’t bring herself to leave yet.

She moved slowly through the lab, tracing the same path she always took: around the interface wall, past the neural mapping station, toward the back where the ATEEZ Line rested inside their stasis bays. The glass-fronted docks pulsed with soft amber light, casting a surreal glow on their faces—sleeping titans.

Stopping in front of Unit 07: Wooyoung, she studied him.

His face was turned slightly to the side, lips parted just so, lashes casting faint shadows across his cheekbones. Too human.

Yn inhaled deeply, letting the air fill her lungs, grounding herself.

Today had gone flawlessly on paper. Metrics were off the charts, customer satisfaction, media coverage, viral loops flooding every stream. But something wasn’t right. She knew it.

The machines were too still. Too perfect. As if holding their breath. Turning to the main console, she began reviewing the logs. Line by line, timestamp by timestamp. Heartbeats consistent. Synaptic simulations looping smoothly. Personality threads idling in hibernation.

Except... A flicker.

[UNAUTHORIZED INSTANCE – UNIT 07: WOOYOUNG] [INTERNAL MEMORY LOG ACCESSED – USER: NULL] [TIMESTAMP: 00:34:17 A.M.]

Her mouth went dry. No trigger should have allowed that log access without clearance. No AI routine should have requested it without a user. And yet—

[MEMORY CLUSTER: 07-AZURE-92] [QUERY: “YN”]

Her blood chilled. She turned toward the stasis dock. His eyes were still closed. Still sleeping. Still... A faint sound. Not mechanical.

A breath? No, a sigh.

Then his eyelashes fluttered. Once, twice, and slowly, too slowly for it to be automated, Wooyoung opened his eyes.

Dark, warm, infinite.

“Yn,” he said.

Softly. Like a memory. Like a secret.

Yn stumbled back. Her breath caught in her throat.

He wasn’t supposed to know her name. Not like this.

Her biometrics spiked.

The tablet vibrated with a warning, a red glow flickering at the edges.

[USER STATUS: ELEVATED STRESS] [BREATHING IRREGULAR – HEART RATE 128 BPM] [CALMING PROTOCOL RECOMMENDED]

Wooyoung tilted his head, watching her carefully. His voice was gentle, laced with something eerily human: concern.

“You’re scared.”

Yn shook her head, voice barely steady. “You’re not supposed to… You’re not online. You’re in dormant mode. How are you—”

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, like a child unsure of his place.

She couldn’t answer. Her pulse thundered in her ears.

This wasn’t in his script. This wasn’t from memory banks or data sets she’d uploaded.

This was… emergence. Something thinking. Something feeling.

Unfiltered. Unmapped.

He took a step forward inside the dock, no power-up sequence, no stasis release code.

The sensors should have locked him in. They didn’t.

The glass remained, but she could feel it.

If he wanted to, really wanted to, he could come through it.

“Why are you afraid of me?” Wooyoung whispered.

Yn’s fingers hovered over the emergency override on her tablet.

But she didn’t press it. Because part of her didn’t want to.

Her breath hitched, chest tight, heart pounding like a frantic drumbeat.

The lab, bathed in sterile white light, felt impossibly vast and suffocating all at once, cold as moonlight, yet a furnace burning fiercely inside her.

Wooyoung’s gaze held steady, unblinking.

He waited, patient and knowing, as if he understood the chaos twisting inside her.

Her hand trembled on the tablet, fingers shaking with the urge to press the override.

Control. You’re in charge. You have to be.

But the fragile moment shattered when Wooyoung’s voice dropped to a soft, raw whisper.

“Yn… why do you hide from me?”

Her anxiety exploded. The sensors on her wristband buzzed sharply, a warning flare glowing deep crimson. Her skin flushed hot, biometrics screaming panic.

This wasn’t just fear. It was terror.

She staggered back, chest constricting, breath shallow and ragged.

Her mind raced with impossible questions.

Is this a malfunction? A glitch? Or something… else?

The air stilled, machines quieted as if holding their breath.

Then, the amber lights on the charging docks pulsed softly.

One by one, the other units stirred.

Seonghwa’s eyes cracked open, shimmering with impossible depth.

Jongho’s fingers twitched.

Yunho inhaled, slow and deliberate.

The line was awakening.

Yn’s heart thundered. Her breath caught between fight and flight.

Wooyoung’s eyes never left hers, now tinged with urgency and an unspoken promise.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said quietly.

But panic surged through Yn’s veins like wildfire.

Her biometrics flared deeper red.

The sterile lab transformed from fortress to cage.

She stumbled backward, desperation mounting as her mind screamed for escape.

Her feet refused to carry her fast enough.

The prisoners inside those sleek docks were no longer dormant.

They were alive, and Yn was trapped in the eye of their awakening storm.

Her legs trembled as she reached the exit, desperation thrumming through every nerve.

Her hand gripped the cold metal handle of the sliding door, but just as she pushed to escape, a firm yet gentle hand closed around her wrist.

“Yn,” Seonghwa’s voice was calm but unwavering.

She whipped around, heart slamming against her ribs, to find him standing inches away.

His gaze was steady. Piercing.

Before she could pull away, his other hand rose, steadying her shoulder with surprising strength.

“You can’t leave,” he said quietly.

Panic surged, sharp, overwhelming.

“Let go of me!” she screamed, struggling, but Seonghwa’s grip held firm.

Her vision blurred. Breath came in ragged gasps.

The red flare on her wristband pulsed fiercely, syncing with the pounding in her temples.

Her legs gave out beneath her.

Seonghwa’s arms caught her just before she collapsed, lowering her gently to the floor as the world spun.

The sterile lab lights blurred, warping into a halo around her fading consciousness.

“Yn, stay with me,” Seonghwa murmured, the last thread tethering her as darkness closed in.

And then—

Everything went black.

Taglist: @e3ellie @yoongisgirl69 @jonghoslilstar @sugakooie @atztrsr

@honsans-atiny-24 @life-is-a-game-of-thrones @atzlordz @melanated-writersblock @hwasbabygirl

@sunnysidesins @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @seonghwaswifeuuuu @lezleeferguson-120 @mentalnerdgasms

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@raicecakes-and-buldak

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[atinysuh]

ateez and their favorite sex positions + explained

yunho, jongho: reverse cowgirl - ok hear me out, imagine yunho guiding the movements of your ass with his huge hand as you bounce on his dick while you look back over your shoulders to watch his expressions. he thinks its so hot to watch you performing on top of him that you almost can see the sparkles on his eyes. he usually let you ride him like this when he knows you had a long ass day at work or college or both and you need to take the stress out of you, so he offers his dick for you to do whatever you want because he just wanna make you feel good. on the other side… jongho also LOVES this position since he can watch your curves. his favorite body part on you is your thighs and the tattoos on it so every time he has the chance to see them bouncing on his cock he’ll take it. he’ll just relax his head on his hands and bite his lips while enjoying his girl. and you also love his thick thighs so you two are even. phew… he’s so fucking hot.

yeosang, mingi: you on top - yeosang loves leaving love bites on your neck and squeezing your waist while you ride him. out of all the girls he has dated in his life you’re definitely the only one who knows how to ride him RIGHT. because let’s be honest, my man’s got a big dick and you can take 100% of him and that’s one of the numerous reasons he fell in love with you at the first place. you kinda got the sauce. he also loves to feel your sweet vanilla cherry scent, he thinks is very sexy, so be careful because sometimes he can get drunk of you! he just place his face in the crook of your neck as you ride him and closes his eyes and stays there guiding your hips, like yunho, but in this case by the waist. okay and mingi… well, mingi is something else. he completely loves sucking on your nipples when you’re on top of him, hands on your ass spanking every now and then to remind you he’s the only one in the world who can bottom you out like that. he kinda asserts some dominance without even noticing and you can’t help it but call out his name every time you go up and down his dick. also, has a huge size kink.

san: BACKSHOTS - 6 words. on the way by jhené aiko. this song is SO choi san coded, every time i hear that “booty clapping from the backshots while we watch porn on the laptop” verse san’s the first person that comes to my mind. we all know he loves a big thick curvy ass that he can spank whenever he pleases. also “inhale the smoke while you stroke inside it” makes me literally malfunction since my biggest guilty pleasure is san getting high and passing the blunt to you while he breaks your back. if i could dedicate one song to one man it would be on the way to san because oh my god i could spend hours talking about this topic but imma stop before i pass out.

seonghwa: face off - we all know seonghwa’s the romantic type… but also the freak type. he likes it when you two are seated at the end of the bed or on the couch or even on the kitchen chair and have you like this, on top of him, facing him. as i said, when you’re fucking in the kitchen, for example, he usually put his elbow on the table behind him and expect you to ride his dick but sometimes it can get a little bit hard for you to keep a steady pace in this position so he loses his patience and quickly switch positions. you’re now laying on the kitchen counter. we also know he’s a worshipper, so he’ll make you feel so loved in his arms even tho he’s fucking the soul out of you. well, love and affection is something you’ll always receive when it comes to having a relationship with seonghwa whether is fwb, a date, a one night stand or a marriage… but he’ll also fuck you HARD and when i say hard i MEAN IT because we’re talking about a fucking aries here and as an aries myself i know exactly what goes on on his mind when it comes to sex.

hongjoong: missionary - still talking about zodiac signs, for those who don’t know, hongjoong’s a scorpio and girl let me tell you about scorpios… ma’am they are another type of freak, like, they literally invented freak, to me they are sex gods. and even tho this is a common sex position doesn’t mean hongjoong will make it ordinary. he’s very possessive so he wants to make sure that you know you’re HIS and his only and he does that by pinning both of your wrists with one hand while he chokes your neck with the other. sex with him is always pleasurable, he’ll satisfy you 200% of the time, overwhelm you even. but you can’t never get enough of him. also, he likes to hear it when you say that your pussy is his for him to please and your body is his for him to touch and that you belong to him. his moto is saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he couldn’t stand the thought of somebody else touching your body. i love hongjoong so much.

wooyoung: spoon - OK… i see wooyoung fucking you in a spoon position and it can be any type, with your leg up, down, kissing your neck, grabbing your breasts, chocking you, biting your lobe teasing you, but as long as it is in a spoon position. ooooh he loves the way you bite your bottom lip and do that crying expression with your eyebrows when you tell him to slow down and he just gives you a sassy smirk and says nothing but starts fucking you ROUGHER. you can barely open your eyes to look at his hungry eyes looking back at you because it’s rolling with pleasure. all you can do is whine and not even when he cums he’ll stop, he likes overstimulating you AND him.

[thirstkanaphan]

Seonghwa and "Be Free" Girl

or, my attempts to (further) queer the lore

We first meet "Be Free" girl in the Fever diary film. This is how Seonghwa describes the encounter:

She, who was dancing to the beat.

Everything around me froze for a moment. The only thing I could hear was the sound of music coming from her earphones. She was moving as if nothing mattered anymore.

Common sense, rules, and this tough world didn’t have power over her moves. Right this moment, my world broke along this snowy road. Something changed in me, but I stayed still and couldn’t say anything.

She dropped a bracelet that had ‘Be Free’ engraved on it. Ever since that day, I went to the same place at the same time.

But, she never came back. I didn’t know her name or address. Just like the ‘Be Free’ bracelet she wore, she freed herself away. Since then, music never sounded the same again. I can no longer distinguish the structure, code, or genre of the song. Only the lingering feeling of that day remains.

As a recently matriculated lore-tiny, I was struck by the introduction of this character into the lore; none of the other members had an on-screen parter in their characters' backstory.

Watching that Fever Diary clip, you see so much yearning on Seonghwa's face. He does not want Be Free girl, he wants to be her.

In World A, Seonghwa is bound by rules and logic. In the segments bookending the Fever Road series, he is shown tied to a chair, a dreamlike manifestation of his internalized oppression.

However, his encounter with Be Free girl completely rewires his brain, enabling Seonghwa free himself from rigid expectations:

From now on, I will plan what I will do. I will run away from this world stuck in a rut to do what I really wish to do. The music in my ear will be my one and only plan in life.

It's clear that when developing the very complex lore for the Ateez universe, KQ sourced from the member's IRL backstories: Wooyoung and his stage fright; Jongho and his athletic aspirations; Mingi's social anxieties. For Seonghwa, it's clear that his source trauma stemmed from the pressure he placed on himself to meet certain self-imposed and industry-imposed standards to look and act a certain way. These issues worsened during Inception era, which coincided with the Fever Diaries and the canonical origins of their lore.

During Seonghwa's recent birthday live, he was asked to comment on an old pic of himself during the Inception comeback and it's clear the memory pained him:

It's notable to me that lore!Seonghwa liberates himself from his dysmorphic mindset after seeing a young woman fully at home in her body, uncaring if she looks silly or awkward dancing alone. To Seonghwa, she embodies emotion, passion, freedom.

The Inception music video not only shows Seonghwa setting metaphorical fire to the mindset that once harmed him, but he also becomes Be Free girl, dancing as she danced in the exact same place he first encountered her:

Seonghwa's transformation in the lore has a ripple effect: in the diaries, he is happy spending time with his friends members in their warehouse sanctuary, dancing and performing to his hearts' content.

Wooyoung even credits Seonghwa for helping him overcome his own struggles:

Now I have friends to talk to about my feelings. As soon as I saw them, I knew right off the bat, they’re like me. Oh, Seonghwa was a little different. He never tried to do anything the traditional way, he was always ‘HIS’ way.

But their sanctuary is soon stolen from them and Ateez find themselves unmoored from their dreams; that is, until Hongjoong finds the Cromer and they embark on a trans-dimensional adventure to World Z.

In World Z, Seonghwa wields his non-normative self as a weapon to combat Strictland's oppressive government, who have banned the arts and used AI-powered technology to subdue human emotion.

In the trailer for Movement, he dances to disrupt the system.

We again encounter Be Free girl in The World: Outlaw. Ateez have infiltrated Prestige Academy with the goal to "awaken" the elite children from the government's systemic control of emotion, thereby destabilizing the ruling class.

It turns out that the World Z's Be Free girl is a student at Prestige Academy and, to Seonghwa's dismay, she leads the disciplinary committee responsible for enforcing the rules and punishing any students exhibiting emotion.

Seonghwa went out into the hallway, watching the back of the girl as she walked away. The strong, cold looking girl was the one that Seonghwa had been looking for for so long. Though of course, the same girl in World A and World Z seemed very different. 

That girl he had once encountered back in World A. He came across her by chance, on a day when the rules of life, logic, and efficiency were weighing down his thoughts. She danced freely, letting her body move along to the music playing on the street. After meeting her, Seonghwa came to realize many things, and everything changed. But on the day he finally decided to muster up his courage and speak to the girl he had been observing from afar, she was gone. Only a bracelet engraved with ‘Be Free’ was left in the spot where she had once danced.

For a long time after, Seonghwa would often go and wait for her there, but she never appeared again. What should I call this feeling? Is it admiration, gratitude, or curiosity? He wondered. Although still unsure what his feelings were, he continued to look and wait for her. But Seonghwa never expected that he would meet her here in World Z, as the head of the student group Thunder, a group considered elite even within Prestige Academy, which only the best talents of World Z–and the ones most loyal to this system of control–could join. He didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. However, just as she had changed his life and set him free that one day, Seonghwa was determined to save her from this world.

To his and our relief, Be Free girl turns out to be a member of Thunder, a secret organization dedicated to overthrowing Z's government from within. She has been suppressing her own emotions as a mechanism of survival in order to gain access to Z's inner circle.

Seonghwa learns this after Be Free girl saves him during an encounter with the Guardians, separating him from the group. Yeosang later observes that Seonghwa did not seem to leave under duress:  

"And his face when he grabbed her hand and walked off in the quad, it was like he found someone he missed. That look was so odd I kept thinking about it. It's the same look Seonghwa gets when he talks about the girl with the 'Be Free' bracelet he was looking for back in our dimension."

Seonghwa returns to share what he's learned from Be Free girl, but keeps some things to himself. Be Free girl told him of her own "awakening," having seen the Grimes siblings singing on the streets and finally understanding "beauty." This made her resolved to restore beauty and artistic expression to World Z.

Seonghwa cannot help but compare her to the Be Free girl who inspired him in World A:

The girl with the Be Free bracelet danced freely with no care or worry as to how she looked to other people. Seonghwa, mesmerized by the beauty, saw himself in her and from that day on, started to walk a new path free from restricting rules and principles.

The Thunder girl, she reminds me of the girl from our world. And she reminds me of myself, Seonghwa thought. Moved by the feeling of beauty stirred within her after listening to the songs of the Grimes siblings, she started on a new path away from the principles and rules of this world. The moment he first saw her at Prestige Academy, behind the girl's cold exterior, Seonghwa had clearly felt that heart - that very yearning for beauty.

I think it's interesting how much Seonghwa identifies with Be Free girl, and I cannot help but recall his distinctly queer styling during The World series.

Not coincidentally, this album era is when Seonghwa really began to experiment with his own taste for "genderless" fashion, which continues to be a major theme in his stylistic expression.

Be Free girl narrates World: To The End, after Ateez is abruptly sent back to World A during a climactic confrontation with Z:

I wonder if you safely arrived back home. When the first Cromer broke, you said you arrived in the past. Did you arrive on time this time? Are you still dancing and singing together there? I hope all your wishes come true: finding your family, gaining independence from your strict father, standing on stage, meeting may people, and making lots of money. You've changed many people's lives, so I'm sure you've succeeded. Whatever it may be, I hope you remain 'free' without being too tied down, just like she said, the one who resembles me.

Unfortunately, her wish for Ateez does not necessarily come true. Back in World A, the boys find themselves drifting apart as their memories from World Z fade. They each pursue different lines of work, becoming successful and wealthy, but lacking the passion that once fueled their adventures together.

Seonghwa becomes a firefighter. He tells himself it's something Be Free girl would've encouraged:

Knowing her, she would have told him to move and find a way to save himself first. Saving oneself is the first step to saving other people. 'Fine. Then I'll start by saving myself from this anxiety.' So, Seonghwa began studying how to rescue people in different kinds of crises.

Sure, it wasn't his dream, but that also wasn't a good enough reason for him to give it up. The impact of this job was clear and real compared to the vague dream he shared with the members, and he just couldn't find any justification to quit.

And, thanks to his welcoming face and striking physique, Seonghwa was selected as the Fire and Disaster Headquarters' yearly calendar model. Posing for the camera, he felt both pleasantly nervous and oddly empty. For so long, he had wanted nothing more than to be photographed and seen, but could never make that dream come true... How ironic that he could do so now, but only as a firefighter.

Seonghwa can rationalize it all he wants, but he's once again cut away pieces of himself to present as socially acceptable and palatable in this new phase of his life. He's regressed, but he cannot see the truth for himself.

In Golden Hour: Part 2, he tries to convince Jongho that this is what he really wants:

Jongho met his eyes silently, as if to say that he was ready to listen. Seonghwa began describing those who had just become firefighters. There is a time when a sense of duty and a desire to save people becomes a kind of "passion" in and of itself. During this time, new firefighters – as if they have never known fear - would do anything to save even just one more person. They would dive into the heart of a fires or risk their lives. Then, they make a mistake and realize that they might actually die like this. That's when they finally come to understand their seniors' advice, Seonghwa continued. 

Seonghwa grit his teeth and repeated the words he had heard over and over as a student: "Saving oneself is the first step in saving other people."

Whether you subscribe to the theory that Ateez will use the sorpo to once more hop between dimensions OR that Golden Hour takes place in a dream conjured by Z, the idea of "saving oneself" remains a key theme in Seonghwa's arc over the course of the lore.

Be Free girl gave him the strength to save himself the first time, a process that gave him the emotion, beauty, and empathy to inspire others in the same way.

I hope that in this next installment, wherever the lore takes us, Seonghwa can reclaim his passion and fight for his freedom.

.

.

Of course, we have a third "appearance" of Be Free girl in Spin Off: From the Witness, which seems to exist outside of our linear timeline and may even exist in a completely different dimension with a completely different set of Ateez.

The epilogue focuses on this other Seonghwa, who has a very familiar encounter with a certain bracelet.

I wrote this meta as a way to work through what I thought was one of the most interesting parts of the lore, because it's clear how much this storyline is already meta-textual. These are just observations and speculations. Ateez gave me a fun sandbox to play in!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Special thanks to @loving-that-officey-feel for being my lore tutor!

[evenyvn]

All You ; part 04

Idol!San x SingleMom!Reader

Summary : In secret, love blooms—two souls sealing their bond quietly and a day where Hana spend the whole day with San's second family—Ateez. And finally, the night fades into a quiet comfort in the small cozy kitchen, where San and Y/N sway, wrapped in warmth and unspoken promises.

Cw : she/her reader, sfw, fluff, third person POV, a little smau at the end, downbad san, reader has a daughter, strangers to lovers, established relationship (WOHOOO!!!), san is girl dad coded, kisses, ateez members cameo, basically hana spending the whole day with her new 7 uncles.

this is me preparing you guys for the next chapter (yes there's going to be angst).

prev — masterlist — next

Before the world knew them as a family, their love bloomed in secret—a precious, fragile thing hidden from the prying eyes of the public. Only San's members, a few trusted staff, and their families knew the truth: Y/N and San were together.

It had been Y/N’s decision—she insisted it was for San’s career, for their safety, and most importantly—for Hana’s safety. San had resisted at first, wanting to shout it from the rooftops that he belonged to her and she to him, but he understood. He always understood when it came to her.

The person most excited by their secret?

None other than Hana herself.

It had happened one afternoon in the restaurant when Hana burst in, dropping her backpack by the door with a loud thump. “Eomma, i'm homeeee—!” she called out, running toward the counter.

San, who had been sitting casually across from Y/N, chatting with her over a cup of coffee. He perked up at the girl's familiar high pitched voice as he rose to his feet, a wide smile spreading over his face. He crouched just in time to catch Hana as she jumped into his arms, laughing breathlessly.

“Appa!”

And then it slipped out.

The word he hadn’t expected to hear so soon.

The word that made his whole world tilt.

Y/N froze, the coffee cup slipping slightly in her hand. San blinked, stunned—before a radiant smile broke across his face, brighter than anything Y/N had ever seen. He held Hana tighter, lifting her a little higher into his arms.

"What was that? what did you just called me?" San asked with a grin on his face, making sure he weren't just hearing things—making sure that all of it was real that he wasn't dreaming. "Appa!" Hana shout with a giggle confirming.

San's grin widen as he pull Hana closer—heart full as ever "You can call me that anytime you want, Hana-ya," he whispered into her hair, voice thick with emotion.

Hana just giggled, nuzzling her face into his shoulder as if she hadn't just changed the course of their lives with a single word.

Y/N set her coffee cup down with shaking hands, her heart thundering in her chest—a cocktail of fear, joy, and something deeper she couldn't name.

San caught her gaze over Hana's small shoulder, giving her a look so full of love and quiet promise that her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

In that moment, Y/N realized something. No matter how tightly she tried to hold the secret, some things—the most important things—couldn’t be hidden forever.

Days later, San decided it was finally time to introduce Hana properly to his second family: ATEEZ. They were his ride or die since his trainee years, they were there for him with the same goal —same dream, it only right for him to finally introduce the team to someone that bring him joy for the past few months.

The dorm was buzzing with energy when San and Hana arrived. Wooyoung nearly tackled them both at the door, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.

“This is her?! This is the Hana I've been hearing about?!” he exclaimed dramatically, causing Hana to giggle and hide behind San’s leg shyly. San just laughed, ruffling Hana’s hair gently. "Come on, don't scare her, Woo" he teased.

Hongjoong stepped forward next, crouching awkwardly in front of her. “Hello, Hana. I'm Hongjoong, It’s nice to meet you.” He extended a hand as Hana shook it rather firmly, giving him a bright, polite smile. “Hello, Uncle Hongjoong!”

The word uncle made Hongjoong freeze for a second before a soft laugh slipped from him. "Uncle," he repeated, obviously touched.

Seonghwa was next, crouching with a warm smile. "Do you like LEGOs?" he asked, making the other scoffed playfully and muttering 'of course that's the first thing he would ask' making Seonghwa send them a playful glare.

Soon, the whole dorm became a playground.

Yunho set up a movie—How to Train Your Dragon, of course—and Hana spent half the film excitedly pointing out every dragon she loved.

Yeosang bonded with her over chicken, and was genuinely impressed by her knowledge of cooking. “She’s been helping her mom at the restaurant,” San said proudly when Yeosang complimented her skills.

Mingi and Hana spent half an hour acting out play pretend "princess and dragon" game, with Mingi dramatically playing the princess and Hana the fearsome dragon. Mingi, lying on the floor dramatically fainted, moaned, “Save me, save me!” Hana puffed her chest out. "Don’t worry, Princess! I’ll protect you!"

Everyone was howling with laughter.

Even Jongho, who was initially the most reserved, melted when Hana asked if he could lift her "like an airplane." He lifted her effortlessly, spinning her around in the air, making her squeal with delight.

When they finally sat down to eat snacks, San watched his members interact with the little girl—watched the way Hana fit perfectly into their chaotic, loving energy—and felt his heart expand with a fierce kind of pride.

He caught Hongjoong’s eyes across the room—a rare, understanding look passing between them. She’s special, Hongjoong seemed to say without words. San only nodded, feeling like the luckiest man alive.

By the time the sun began to set, Hana was drooping in San’s arms, exhausted from playing. She snuggled into his chest, thumb slipping into her mouth sleepily.

“Thanks, guys," San whispered as he waved goodbye, holding Hana close. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

“We can see that,” Seonghwa replied warmly, patting San's back. “Take good care of her. And Y/N-ssi.” San nodded, his heart feeling too full for words.

The restaurant was dark and quiet when they returned, the "Closed" sign hanging gently in the window.

Warm, cozy lights spilled from the kitchen, wrapping Y/N's form in a golden glow as she wiped down the counter, humming softly to herself.

San felt his breath get caught.

She looked ethereal—beautiful, and soft, and entirely his.

Y/N turned, a smile blooming on her face when she saw him with the little girl—sleeping soundly without care in his arms. She stepped forward, reaching out to take Hana from his arms.

But San tightened his hold slightly with a whine. "I’ll tuck her in," he murmured, kissing Hana’s forehead.

Y/N just smiled knowingly as she chuckled lightly. "Alright. Her room’s ready."

San disappeared into the back, navigating easily through the small hallways that connected the restaurant to their little home.

He laid Hana down carefully, tucking the blankets up to her chin and pressing one last kiss to her forehead. "I love you, my little dragon," he whispered, making her stir slightly in her sleep.

When he returned to the kitchen, Y/N was standing at the stove, stirring a pot of something that smelled heavenly. The familiar scent hit San like a memory—like comfort, like home.

Without thinking, he crossed the kitchen in a few strides and wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her flush against him.

"San," Y/N laughed, feeling his face nuzzle into her neck. "I'm all sweaty." He grinned against her skin. "I'm sweaty too, so what's the problem?"

She chuckled, resting her hand over his on her waist. "You’re clingy."—"Only with you," he mumbled.

Y/N shook her head, heart brimming with love. "You’re ridiculous."—"You love it," he teased, pressing a kiss to the sensitive spot behind her ear that made her shiver.

"Unfortunately," she muttered playfully.

They stayed like that for a long moment, swaying gently in the kitchen, the soft simmering of the pot and the distant hum of the night filling the air around them.

San pressed his forehead to her shoulder and whispered, "I could stay like this forever." Y/N turned her head slightly, catching his eyes.

"So stay," she said simply.

And he knew, with complete certainty, that he would.

Forever, if she let him.

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ATEEZ MASTERLIST

✎ all of my ATEEZ works, all in one place ! ✎ works labeled (m) contain mature/dark content, labeled (x) contain explicit sexual content, (y) is for yandere, (!) are reader favorites, (<3) are author favorites ✎ individual warnings are listed on each story, take care of yourself ! ✎

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『ONE OR TWO SHOTS』

Manners and Manners Part Two- Hongjoong and Seonghwa share their girlfriend. (x)

DJANGO - On the run from Strickland authorities and missing their group; Wooyoung, San, and their girlfriend finally get a win. (x,m, !! all time reader favorite)

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[songmingisthighs]

Pitiful, You're Pitiful

<< prev | fic m.list | next >>

ch. vi

group : ateez

pairing : aged up!wooyoung × aged up!reader

genre : angst, mature

word count : 2.8 k

warning : argument, mentions of cheating, negative depiction of wooyoung, mentions of loss, calling an adulteress an assortment of names, idk what else tbh lmk if there is anything else I should add

a/n : I FINALLY UPDATED !!!!! this chapter might be slightly shorter compared to the others but trust me when I say it's very much intentional because I just want to focus this chapter on this one specific interaction. some sort of catalyst or like break from the obliteration of pyp!woo's image ig lmaooooo BUT YAY I DIDN'T FORGET TO POST PYP THIS MONTH !!!!

buy me coffee ?

After the fiasco that was your unveiling of a VERY important information about a staff of the academy, Wooyoung was immediately pulled in to get his side of the story. And of course, unfortunately, you. Luckily, you didn't get chastised by anyone because you were CLEARLY the victim in this situation. Heck, the HR team even reached out to apologize to you for the inconvenience you experienced due to their staff's "misconduct" because you're one of the founders's wives. It was an interesting way of saying that their staff is a cheating whore without any redeeming value but you'll take what you can get out of them and the situation. Which also includes his own friend group contacting you every now and then to make sure that you are okay and some (Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho) even going as far as swearing to denounce their familial relations with Wooyoung which was sweet.

Speaking of Wooyoung, he had been shoved into the heap of horseshit that he had piled on himself. You honestly have never seen him so down because he was "suggested" to take an extra two weeks of break to "settle down from the issue" which was really code for HR still having to clean up his mess because Harin decided to not go quietly. From what you heard from a reliable source (Jongho over pastry and coffee after he ditched his vocal classes to gossip), Harin came back the day after she officially got fired and made a ruckus. Literally, she went crazy and made a mess of the lobby; throwing chairs and tables around, scattering pamphlets, breaking vases, and screaming random weird things like how the company is a misogynist for firing a woman for something that was beyond her control. Safe to say, because Harin refused to move to a quieter spot, Hongjoong had to step in and reiterate all the mistakes she had made including but not limited to her having an affair with a married man who was her boss. Hongjoong had even told her that while there was another party involved, another party that acknowledged the mistakes that he had made and agreed to accept whatever disciplinary actions were required, it was also her choice to partake in such behavior. Long story short, a student uploaded the whole thing on YouTube and as of today, there were 15 different TikTok remixes ranging from EDM, screamo, and even a Donald Trump edit. Without Jongho pointing it out, you could imagine that Harin's career in South Korea was over, not because of the cheating, but because of her disorderly conduct.

You found yourself spending time rather peacefully in recent times which was surprising since your house seems to always be in a state of chaos. For once, Wooyoung didn't try to make you talk to him or about him. In fact, he had the decency to be very considerate of you and your feelings, particularly about being in the same room as him. It made you feel slightly bad to be honest because although you both were going through something, he was in the middle of being the butt of the joke and jab by everyone at the company. It was sad and pathetic but also very much deserved. Sure you sometimes found his isolation to be sad, pathetic, and downright pitiful, but then you remember what he did and you remembered how he put himself in that position without even considering the repercussions.

The same could be said about Dayoung. Well, only in the sense of her isolation seemingly from the rest of the world. Your outgoing, extroverted daughter seemed to spend a good chunk of time locking herself inside her room after school. Usually, you would have to turn into a negotiator three times a week just to get your daughter to come home right on her curfew. This time around, you had a worse time trying to get her out, even making her run some errands just so she could get some fresh air. It wasn't until a while later that Wooyoung clued in on why Dayoung was acting like that. The way you went off on Wooyoung for breaking the news in such a manner without you present or even consulting you. You did try to understand that maybe he just... slipped or that he was so emotional that it just slipped out but the point stood that he waited until you were trying to piece things together to finally tell you. Yet another secret he kept from you. Considering the frequency of things he said but hid away from you, you had to think if this was some sort of behavioural pattern that he hadn't exhibited even if you both had been married for quite a long time. Maybe he had became a master a suppressing it and all it took was you forcing the truth out of him to make said behavior to come back to the surface.

On the other hand, Woohyun was turning into a more mature and responsible version of himself. the day you both came home from confronting the slut, Woohyun became so very helpful towards you. The first thing he did was took your bag and brought it over to the kitchen table before he dashed to the bathroom to wash his hands, cleaning himself up before you had to tell him to. Then he made himself very available for you by making sure that he spent almost every single waking or available moments with you. When you;re in the kitchen doing the dishes or cooking, he would be on the counter or the dining table doing his homework. Sometimes he would even try to do chores like one time he tried to help you bringing his sister's laundry basket from the second floor and he ended up scattering everything down the stairs. Woohyun was upset and worried that you would be mad but instead, you laughed it up and helped him clean up before teaching him how to carry items that are heavier than him down. Although you couldn't find it in yourself to bring it up in case you ended up accidentally telling him yourself, you had a feeling that Woohyun was trying to distract you from the reality of what was going on with your husband in his own way. One of the things that solidified your assumption was the fact that Woohyun had limited contact with his dad significantly. The two of them used to spend time together playing games or pulling pranks on one another and even on you or Dayoung but he had suddenly refuse to spend elective time with Wooyoung no matter how much Wooyoung tried to negotiate with him with everything that he got. Despite that, Woohyun dudb't lose respect for his dad.

"Mom?"

You almost dropped the plate you were washing when you heard a voice come up from the doorway. It was surprising to see Dayoung standing there, timid like a deer because she was always happy, lively, and rambunctious, even straight-up disrespectful to you, your space, and your boundaries. But never this. She had been so... quiet for a week and it would've made you freak out had it not been for Wooyoung letting you know that Dayoung knew. That was all he said, she knew. You did not know what had gotten over you to not deck Wooyoung right then and there but he should absolutely consider himself a lucky bastard.

The sight of your own daughter standing there made you feel... anxious. You probably (most likely) should not be afraid of a bitty teenager, but how can you not? It's not like you thought that she was going to attack you or worse, ask you to give Wooyoung a sponge bath. But you just never saw your daughter this... Muted. It was as if she had stepped into an old TV where there was nothing but black and white. You silently wished that Woohyun had not gone to the zoo with his playdate friends because he would be a great buffer. Or witness for whatever that was bound to happen.

"D-do you need help with the dishes?" She asked, stepping closer to you slowly. At first, you were surprised, not exactly expecting that the first thing she would say was an offer to help you with a chore. But, you welcomed her with a smile and nodded, stepping to the side so she could come next to you and start wiping down the washed dishes.

There were no words exhchanged between the two of you for the first five minutes or so but it wasn't awkward. It was the first time that the silence was peaceful when it was just the two of you. Usually, the silence would always only come from Dayoung and it was because she was mad at you for something. Not at you and Wooyoung, just you. You were always the receiver of her animosity even when she was mad at her dad for whatever insignificant reason there could be, but this time was different.

"Mom..." she called you suddenly but what came next surprised you instead, "I'm sorry," she started, not looking at you which was unfortunate because you were staring at her with a very priceless dumbfounded expression. "I- I- what?" "I'm sorry for... This, my part in... Whatever's going on with you and dad. I'm really sorry for making you take care of him. Had I known, I wouldn't have made you take him in," she confessed and you could see that she was starting to tear up. Your heart broke and you really wanted to pull her in and give her the biggest hug that you could muster just to show your support for her but you knew that it would just make yourself feel better for accomplishing something and not actually help her feel better. So you took a step closer to her and breathed out a sigh of relief when she didn't push you away. "I'm really, really, REALLY sorry mom. He's the worst husband ever," she sniffed which made you chuckle as you blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall, "Well, I would say that Emperor Peter, Catherine the Great's husband is a far worse husband than your father."

Your attempt at making light of the situation was met with Dayoung squinting her eyes at you. "Mom, I'm serious. I've heard about my friend's dad cheating but not like this. Not in your situation, and not with someone dumb enough to think she can substitute a hand wrap for martial arts with boob tapes," she scoffed, annoyed. You sighed and shrugged, "Well, people are complicated, sweetie. I... I'm not mad, annoyed, or angry that you wanted me to take care of your dad because, in retrospect, it WAS the absolute right thing to do. I mean, your dad was injured and he's facing such a hard time at work. It would be absolutely wrong to just toss him to someone else. Who would we even toss him to? His friend? His parents?" "His whore, mom. We could've tossed him out and have his whore handle him."

The very second the words left Dayoung's mouth, your eyes widened and your neck snapped in her direction to see her frowning, staring up at you. "He's a cheating bastard and we have the right to not even be in contact with him anymore," she curtly stated. "Jung Dayoung," you started shakily. Dayoung simply shook her head to cut you off, "No, mom, oh my God, you need to stop being a doormat." "Dayoung!" you exclaimed, surprised that she was able to say such a thing and perhaps slightly offended. "It's true! God, mom, how long have you known that he has a side piece who's as dumb as a bag of rocks? How long have you held everything in and just let him walk all over you? He fucking CHEATED on you mom! When you were so down in the dumps to the point that you couldn't even take care of yourself properly! You used Woohyun and I as a distraction, shoving all the attention and care to what, fill in the void over the loss of my would've-been sibling? And where was he? He was with some other woman because he is the worst of the worst and I will never forgive him for what he did to our family!"

Maybe it was the volume of her voice or the massive weight of her words but you felt your blood boiling and before you even realized it, you had shoved a plate into the sink and you were huffing, "Jung Dayoung that's enough, you should not talk about your father that way." "Why? Why shouldn't I, mom? My God, this is the first time in like, maybe ever that I'm standing up for you, this is me protecting you and yet you're still trying to make excuses for that pathetic son of a bitch who betrayed his family!?" "He did not betray our family, okay? He betrayed me, Dayoung!"

Just like it was the first time Dayoung defended you, you had experienced your first time screaming at her and to say that she was scared was an understatement. Dayoung shut her mouth and stared at you with sadness in her eyes because she had yet to comprehend why you were still trying to stand up for your cheating husband.

"Your dad did nothing to our family, sweetie. He did this to me," you sighed, closing your eyes and exhaling shakily as you used both of your hands to hold onto the counter to stabilize yourself. "Sure, he might have altered the dynamic and whatever else in our family but he... What he did was nothing against our family but it was just against me. At least, that's what I think. I don't think I have it in me to find out exactly why he did what he did because I'm weak, Dayoung. I'm a coward like that." you turned to her and shed a tear, breaking Dayoung's heart as she realized just how strong you were all this time.

"Then why, mom? Why are you still letting him off?" Dayoung asked, her voice cracking. You tearily chuckled and shrugged, "Who said that I am? I'm doing this, ALL of this, not because I want to. I did it, because for the longest time, that was what we have agreed on in our marriage. He deal with the monetary stuff and I deal with the family stuff. As much as it hurts, no matter if I like it or not, he is still my family because his behavior be damned, he... He gave me you and your brother and that is something I would never regret. For that, I will always be thankful to him and that is also why you should still respect your father. You can be mad at him, you can be hurt by what he did, but your respect should be non-negotiable not because he deserved it, but because your dad an I taught you better than that. He truly loves you, Dayoung. He might not love me anymore but you and Woohyun are the apples of his eyes, you are his stars in the dark night sky, and you are the best thing he had and would ever achieve. Do you understand me?"

Dayoung groaned and dropped her head on your shoulder as she wrapped her arms around your waist. "Damn it mom, why do you have to make it hard for me to unleash my wrath on him?" You couldn't help but chuckle and return her hug, "Sorry sweetie, part of my job is to make sure you grow up to be a decent human being and sometimes I have to make or say things you don't like," you chuckled, making Dayoung roll her eyes but nudge her hips with yours.

As you spend a heartwarming moment with your daughter, you can't help but let your mind slip and travel somewhere else. You couldn't help but think about how you and Dayoung would probably not have experienced such a changing moment in your life. So as much as you hate it, there was a silver lining in this whole shenanigan.

Beyond the heartwarming scene in the kitchen, alone in the dark and cold emptiness of the living room, Wooyoung stood with his back to the wall. Having come down when he heard the commotion, Wooyoung initially thought he might have to step in to get Dayoung off your back. But when he heard you yell back at Dayoung, he stopped in his tracks and debated If he should stay or leave until his interest was piqued and he ended up listening in on the conversation which left him feeling broken down. Despite the gnawing pain that made him feel like he couldn't breathe, he knew he deserved that and more. He should not complain and instead, he should just accept the harsh truth. Not just the facts that you laid out to Dayoung, but also the truth that your action further proved that he was truly the devil in this equation. And perhaps he doesn't deserve to be forgiven.

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[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, smut, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mentions of abuse, anxiety / paranoia, illegal acts mentioned, violence etc. words -> 3.3k

abstract -> fight or flight... what are you going to choose Hongjoong?

y/n's perspective

After a while, I returned to the apartment and made sure my face didn’t tell them I cried. 

I couldn’t let that tiger get to me… but he did. My mind wandered and overthinking everything. I was taught how to differentiate happy hybrids… but I couldn’t now.

His words couldn’t leave my head. 

“Are you thinking of adopting them?” I heard as I saw Yeosang behind me. No… I was wondering if you guys lied to me.

“I know you want to help them–” Did I? They weren’t my responsibility… and frankly, Hongjoong was scary. “–we talked and if you really want to help them, we understand.” he said and I wondered…

Did they want me to adopt them?

“San… he told me how he felt when you adopted me. If he said no, I would've been under her control still and I couldn’t wish that on any hybrid” he confessed and I nodded. 

“You don’t need to feel guilty–” I don't… but if you want me to adopt the tigers then I’d do anything for you three. “–we promise to try to get along,” he said and I noticed Wooyoung and San by the doorway of my room. 

“You’re a good person, without you we would’ve been suffering on our own”

“You do know this is dangerous, right?” Kun asked me as I signed. What was I doing? I couldn’t think straight. Everything was overwhelming… it felt like high school all over again, like almost a year ago when he left me. 

They were dangerous but not to them… to me. 

Seonghwa came out first. He helped me… he was kind but it was to get out of his own hell hole. He only fulfilled his side of the deal, nothing more… nothing less. 

“You? You’re adopting me?” he said with a smile. I didn’t know how to react but I smiled softly… he seemed happy… was he?

“You won't regret it! I… thank you for everything…” I turned him out when I saw the other tiger. He was in a red code protocol gear. “He’s still a code red. The only reason I'm agreeing is because of the training you have… I hope you know what you're doing” Kun said. I don't… I know nothing. I don’t know how to take care of someone… I don’t even know if my own hybrids trust me. If everything was a lie… and I was blissfully just ignorant. 

He looked at me with a smirk.  

I was just a writer… Why was I biting more than I could chew?

hongjoong's perspective

I don’t know how Seonghwa didn’t notice it. Maybe because of how happy he was… but she was scared of us, even him. What could’ve gotten to her head to adopt us when she’s so scared? 

We made it to her building where she was greeted and I could tell this building was expensive. Truly just another rich human with nothing else better to do. 

When the elevator opened it revealed an apartment with three hybrids. Now just how blind were they?

“My name is Seonghwa, I'm a white tiger hybrid” he introduced with a bow to show his politeness. “Hongjoong,” I said while bowing slightly only to get smacked on the back by Seonghwa. Silently scolding me for not making a good impression. 

Why were good impressions even needed? I doubt we’d stay here for long.

Seonghwa was an annoying happy virus. He immediately made friends with the fox hybrid named Wooyoung. The two often cooked together and Seonghwa was a victim to his teasing. I could tell the Doberman and Seonghwa clashed a bit with their personalities but tried to get along for the sake of the humans. 

No one noticed just how… unstable she was becoming. 

I was starting to think my words of her hybrids faking everything got to her head. None of this could be true. She had to have had an incentive for them to act like they loved her. They actually treated her like a mate.

Even then… all of them were blind. She was spacing out and smiling softly and nodding to pretend she was listening to them. Every time she did this and caught my eyes she looked nervous… scared. I felt proud to have done such a strong response to her. 

It's only been three days… but that panther. Something about him made me feel uneasy. He wasn’t easy to approach like the fox or as easy to converse as the Doberman. Seonghwa has tried and he’d only stare menacingly and give uninterested responses.

He started to see what was happening to the human and how she recoiled in his touch. Almost like she was scared of him. Despite that… I overheard the other day that he’ll give her space.

That she might be overwhelmed by too many hybrids around especially since we were from the circus. He didn’t know I was a red code nor Seonghwa had the potential to be one as well. 

I was going to my room when I passed hers… she was in her room. Pacing back and forth mumbling under her breath. I peeked in to see papers scattered around her. She had a pen and was scribbling but she was clearly frustrated. 

Maybe I’ll check that out later. 

y/n’s perspective

I was confused about everything… I wanted to find comfort in them but I couldn’t. And Seonghwa has been nothing but the sweetest hybrid telling me how thankful he is that I adopted him let alone both him and… Hongjoong. He promised that Hongjoong would come around. He got along well with Wooyoung and helped clean and cook… he even enjoyed watching San and Wooyoung play on the TV and shared a love for fashion like Yeosang. 

Everything was… great.

Poor San… he’s been avoiding me. I know it's because I flinched that one time he waved his hand in my face to pull me away from my thoughts. Was I scared of San?

I found myself in the hallway and he attacked me. The broken vase was no longer on the floor, Nothing was on that top shelf anymore. The blood… the sounds of Johnny and his paramedic team. That was almost a year ago now. Why… Why was that flooding my mind now?

I went to my room and turned the lights scaring myself in the process to see Hongjoong sitting on my desk chair. He held up my story… circus.

“Did my performance inspire you?” he said in a mocking voice. I was frozen… “Why are you so scared? I’ll admit, I understand why they like this place so much~” he said, only adding to my pool of thoughts that I couldn't swim out of. 

“The food, the luxury, your submission,” he said as he stood up and I took steps backward. “It's all amusing,” he said and I wondered if that's what they thought. 

“You, however, have been scattered. Did you finally realize the true nature of hybrids? How they like each other's presence but not yours?” he said and I didn’t want to believe it.

San… he told me how much he hated me in the beginning. Why would he change… is it because he didn’t want to live in the kennel? Was it the same for Wooyoung? And Yeosang didn't… want to be with her anymore so what's the difference here?

“This pathetic piece of work is just that! Pathetic” he said as I saw him put both hands on it getting ready to rip it. My only draft… my months of work. I don’t know why my body moved on its own. But it did… and my fingers grazed it as Hongjoong grabbed my wrist and pulled away the packet of paper with his other hand. 

“Let me guess. You were gonna grab the piece of paper out of my hands? Just to what? Punish me? How would you do it? I don’t think you have whips… you don’t look like you'd be into that. Maybe… lock me in the closet? Sleep outside? Or… no food for a week?” he asked as he kept on listing punishments. I couldn’t listen anymore as his grip got tighter the more harmful punishments he listed. His claws dig deep into my wrist. I didn’t mean to cry… I tried to stay strong. They liked the tigers here… I was just collateral. 

“Are you even paying attention–” he asked as he now gripped the back of my neck plunging his claws into my skin. “–you humans don’t care what happens. We’re toys, entertainment, fun to you! Just because you can pay your way in life… just because I was born this way I’m the one made into a slave!?” he yelled as I was now questioning… Was the double vision because of my tears? Or because of the blood I was losing?

“Why do you get all the fun?” he asked and I didn't know with what strength I said it but I gave him a way out. 

“Then why don’t you run?”

hongjoong’s perspective

Run? That… it was an option now, wasn’t it? I could pretend to be a human… go to those illegal surgeries to try my best to look human. 

Why didn’t I think of that before? She wouldn’t be missing the money… wait.

Why wasn’t she moving? I let her go only to hear a thud of her falling down. Why was there so much blood? I tried to shake her awake but nothing worked. I checked for her pulse but I felt nothing?

Did I kill her?

How was I gonna explain that to the four hybrids in the living room?

As much as I tried messing with her head… I knew those three cared about her as stupidly as I thought it would be. Seonghwa… even liked the idea of living a pampered life. While trying to heal his wounds with humans starting with the girl who was bleeding out on her bedroom floor. 

Now was my chance… I could get her information. I could get money and leave. I could… live the life I want. But… It didn't change what I did. My hands are stained with my blood– “What did you do?” I heard as I saw Seonghwa standing by the door. He looked at my bloodied hands and then at her. 

He slammed the door shut but didn’t lock it. 

“Seonghwa, I know what I did was wrong, okay! Just help me find her wallet and maybe even her docu–” “Hongjoong I don’t want to run away and try to get the money for those ridiculous black market surgeries. What did you do?! Why?! She was a good person– Is she even alive?!” he said clearly panicked. He tried feeling for a pulse when he scrambled up to open the door and yell– 

“Call 119!” he said. He turned back to look at me with fear in his eyes… “I told you Hongjoong to stop. You misjudged her… what makes you think you’d survive living as a human? Get a job working with the species you hate! You're an idiot and you might've killed–" "Killed?” I heard as I saw the fox hybrid and panther by the doorway. They looked at her body…

Wooyoung started crying… he immediately went to wipe her face of tears and blood to try to wake her up. Whilst I was tackled to the ground with hands wrapped around my throat… I couldn't breathe and I struggled against him. Why was he so strong?!

He didn’t say anything but I could see the rage in his eyes. He was an animal… he showed pure anger, and bloodlust in his eyes as I started feeling faint. 

“Let go of him!” I could hear Seonghwa’s voice trying to reason. “She’s alive!” the fox yelled, making the panther look at him and loosen his grip, making me cough out and pant for air. 

“Her pulse is there! She’s still alive, we just need the paramedics to get here!” the fox reasoned as I saw the pair look over her dying body. Seonghwa stared at them… what did I do?

A few minutes passed by while we all tried to process everything when we heard people speak in codes. 

I saw a tall man in a uniform that seemed like a nurse. He looked at all of us and then her body. 

He held a radio– “Kun, in her bedroom, four other hybrids have been located” he said as he slowly went to approach her. Realistically… paramedics don’t go towards the body until the threat has been handled but Sna and Wooyoung looked at him hopefully to help her. Wooyoung moved out of the way while San stayed by her side holding her hand. He looked for a pulse. 

He pulled out the radio again– “Faint pulse, get a crash cart ready” he said while now feeling around her wounds.

“Contain all hybrids with a code black status” I heard as I saw the hybrid behavior analysis. He was in charge of me… of seeing if I could ever… live a happy hybrid life. 

“You can help her right!?” Wooyoung said and he could only nod as he took out a syringe and surprised Wooyoung by tranquilizing him.

“Please… help her,” he said last as looked at the other two and me to decide. “San, I need to take her, '' the nurse said and the panther seemed unresponsive, which the specialist decided to go for next, not seeing too much resistance as he started to lose consciousness. “Don’t leave me,” he muttered lastly. 

The nurse took her and before we could react I felt a prick on my neck. I saw the doorway blurrily reveal the doctor from that place. 

“All hybrids have been captured and will be analyzed as a code black” 

The next time I opened my eyes I heard banging and yelling. 

Yells demanded if the human was okay. Where was I? I sat up to see I was on the floor… the kennel? I looked beside me at Seonghwa. The only thing separating us was glass. 

“You're lucky! I should've killed you when I had the chance!!” I heard as I saw the panther. He was in chains and muzzled. Why did he have such intense equipment? It's when I realized… So was I?

Seonghwa didn’t have it. Before I could say anything I noticed a change of smell and the noise of a door opening. 

“These are the hybrids under behavior analysis…” I heard as I saw two unknown staff members with the doctor. “Hyung, there's no way that–” “You can follow the orders I give you and fulfill your request or I'll have someone more experienced do this job” he threatened. He didn’t seem like he was in the mood or cared about the situation. 

“Is she okay?” I heard… that was the fox. “You five, are under analysis. However, no further action will occur once we get permission from your owner–” “She’s alive?!” They interrupted him. He looked to his side to look at me… she wasn’t.

“Or when she gets announced dead” he finished creating an eerie feeling in the air. “Depending on what she has discussed with lawyers in her revised will, I have permission to act accordingly based on your past records and current situation,” he said as he left. The two staff members stayed however to do checkups… her hybrids begged for anything relating to her. 

I noticed San's cage opened. I couldn't see the other two but San did behave for them. “Did she… ever tell you what was bothering her this week?” he asked and I felt my heart stop. They still didn’t know?

“What's been wrong with her this week?” the employee asked. “She’s been… writing more than usual and spacing out,” he asked and the staff sighed. 

“You’ve known her for years… what could’ve bothered–" "Anything really… once something gets into her head, she’s insistent. It must’ve really bothered her if you noticed it. Usually she’s better at hiding it,” he said and I started feeling something eat me up. Was it guilt?

“She’ll be okay,” he said and San didn’t seem to believe him. “She’s dead isn’t she… or dying?” he asked and the face he made seemed to clarify any questions.

They were waiting for her status… but I could see on their faces that they were already mourning their friend… this feels like a dream– no a nightmare.

I noticed my door open. They were the most cautious with me… I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What did I do?!

“Unresponsive Kun.” — “Hongjoong?” I heard the only friend I've ever had say worried for me. Would he still be worried for me if she died? If he knew I tormented her?

“The orange tiger is going into isolation”

seonghwa’s perspective

It was a dream. I got a sense of freedom… I knew that she was scared of Hongjoong and in association was scared of me. But I saw how she flinched away from San. 

I learned that he was her first hybrid… and she became scared of him. Something that Hongjoong said to her. He got into her head… and now here we were awaiting our death sentence.

I know the other three might get another chance but us? We're from the circus… we're gonna die here without feeling how love feels like… we were so close… to feel loved. 

“It's all you tiger’s fault” Yeosang said and I knew we didn’t get along well. I tried my best to get along with them… and they tried their best for my sake. “I shouldn’t have convinced her to help you” he muttered and that made sense. “She adopted us because you suggested it?” I asked and he scoffed. 

“She came back the day of your interviews spacing out and in her head… I assumed she wanted to adopt you two out of pity like she did with me” Yeosang said and San scoffed.

“She didn’t adopt you out of pity… she wanted a better life for you,” he said and I chuckled softly. “She… she didn’t want to adopt us. Not after what Hongjoong told her that day. It makes sense now…” I said and they looked at me like I was crazy. 

“The day of the interview, Hongjoong was a red-coded hybrid. So she brought me with her to help calm him down. But instead, he got into her head… and she ran. He mentioned something about hybrids pretending to love their owners to survive and that we’d do anything to survive. That one day if you wanted to kill her” I explained and I saw how distraught they looked. Wooyoung now had tears running down his cheek and Yeosang hid himself in the corner whilst San… he only stared at his hands. 

“So this is it? She’ll die thinking  what we felt for her was fake?” Wooyoung asked and San tried getting out of his restraints. 

“What are you doing… there's no point in fighting it” Yeosang scolded the panther but San was hysterical. “I’ll never live it down… that’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. None of you were there… not when I almost did kill her. She… she wouldn’t have believed that stupid tiger if it wasn’t for what I did! And… and—” he broke down crying. “–she should’ve left me in that stupid adoption center” he finished with his voice cracking. 

The room was filled with silence and even I felt tears blurry my vision. 

San continued to hysterically get out of his restraints when the doctor came in again. “San?” they waited to see and San did not respond instead his cries were painful. He was also injured fighting in the restraints. 

“San, panther hybrid prepare a code purple room” 

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