#cowboyblogging

[anxiouscowboy]

The fact that Angel Eyes took the time to place one of his dead henchmen in a bed, write "See you soon, idiots" on a piece of paper, put said note on said dead henchman, and cover said dead henchman with a blanket for his enemies to dramatically uncover? CAMP.

[evilundead]

morosexualaizawa->yeehawmorgan

[andmaybegayer]

Watched The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) for the first time. I can finally comprehend some of @girlfriendsofthegalaxy​‘s #cowboyblogging.

I knew basically nothing about this going in aside from the score, which I first heard because there’s a version of Ecstasy of Gold in the Metallica S&M Album. I was thinking “oh hey it’s an Olden Times film it’ll be like 1.5-2 hours long” no it is three hours long.

Being three hours long is pretty good. Despite there being a lot happening (they go all OVER the place in this movie) each individual scene is very methodical and well paced and it never feels like you’re being rushed from place to place. Lots of extended scenes that just serve to rack up tension, which is a great effect.

(I know this is considered to be like, the best spaghetti western ever made so saying good things about it is a little <Griffin McElroy> Pretty Good Statue!)

Angel Eyes is a very clear-cut antagonist, and according to the actor’s wikipedia page his extremely hard looking nose meant that he basically always got cast as a villain, which is hilarious.

I’ve seen so many like, caricature characters standing in for Clint Eastwood in representations of westerns that I kinda forgot that he actually just looks like that.

When I saw them blow up the bridge I realized “oh, that’s not a model, they blew up a real bridge for that, holy shit” and then I went to look it up and they actually blew up a real bridge twice because the first time round the blast destroyed the cameras.

It occurs to me that trying to put this movie on TV would have been a nightmare for almost half a century. It’s shot in massive widescreen and while some shots are really drawn back long shots, a lot of it is incredibly tight closeups and zooms, which, good luck pan-and-scanning that in a way that doesn’t suck, or broadcast it in widescreen at like 250 lines of resolution.

They really do play that musical motif throughout the entire movie. It’s not like it was one thing that was blown up into an outsized cultural memory it actually plays basically all the time whenever no one is talking. Also The Ecstasy of Gold makes sense in context now but also belongs to a much less dramatic scene than it sounds like it should given I’ve been hyping it up in my head for over a decade.

And since I ended the Alien review with a cat pic, here you go

yee-haw (they never say that in the movie)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Top 10 reasons to wear a cool cowboy hat?

1. All the other dudes want it

2. Makes people underestimate how tall you are

3. Keeps you dry at the rodeo

4. Keeps the sun out of your eyes at high noon

5. You are a cowboy and you're cool.

6. All the other dudes respect you now because they think you're a badass

7. Nobody else wears a hat like that (or only wears it a little, or a little less)

8. Everyone you've ever talked to about hats has a lot of good cowboy hats opinions

9. I can't keep track of which is which, it's all the same hat

10. I'm a cowboy

more 10. It makes you look like one of those dudes who has no idea how to use his arms. You're like a little man playing the part of the strong, tough, dangerous, experienced man, but actually you don't have any idea how to use any of your tools. I'll be watching you. You're no cowboy.

[anxiouscowboy]

Someone please draw Angel Eyes as Hatsune Miku

[anxiouscowboy]

[anxiouscowboy]

If seasonal depression is kicking your ass, just remember that your blorbo also suffered from extreme mental and physical unwellness for like the entirety of their story and came out of it ten times hotter.

[anxiouscowboy]

angle eyes

[anxiouscowboy]

Joe from A Fistful of Dollars as a Sassy Teenage Girl Asthetic

The last Dollars Trilogy one🥲❤ I'm a little sad to have run out of TMWNN characters but que sera sera, I shall find more cowboys to teenage girl-ify!!

[anxiouscowboy]

I will never recover from the sheer emotional whiplash of seeing Lee Van Cleef play both the murderous, greedy rat bastard Angel Eyes AND COLONEL DOUGLAS MORTIMER aka the kindest, politest, gentlemanest gentleman in the wild west.

[anxiouscowboy]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Snow Headcanons

Bruh it snowed at my house and now I'm imagining how the boys would act experiencing snow for the first time.

Blondie - has the worst circulation of all time, gets cold and has to wear 3 sweaters under his poncho and ends up looking like a disgruntled marshmallow. He bought a matching earmuff/mitten combo but Tuco roasted him so he took them off.

Angel Eyes - 100% a Tik Tok man of destruction, kicks snowdrifts and throws icicles onto the pavement to watch them shatter to release The Rage. Hates snow shoveling with a purple passion and has to tunnel his way out of the house to get to his car.

Tuco - dude is LIVING for the snow. Catches snowflakes on his tongue, picks up handfuls of it and eats it, straight up dives into snowbanks, makes the gnarliest snowforts and snowmen and has an arsenal of snowballs that he uses to wage war upon his unsuspecting neighbors.

Blondie will waddle out to get the mail and Tuco will bean him in the face with a snowball, then duck and cover behind his snow fort because he knows full well what he's just unleashed. Angel Eyes appears from behind the fence and is subsequently caught in the crossfire and the snowball fight of the century ensues.

Bonus: at some point the trio calls a truce (Angel Eyes hit Tuco in the nose with an ice ball and Blondie fell down and couldn't get up because of all his layers) and they all go over to Blondie's house to drink hot cocoa and thaw out by the fire for a bit.

Bonus bonus: Blondie likes his hot cocoa with marshmallows, Angel Eyes likes his with whipped cream, and Tuco likes his with alcohol, marshmallows, whipped cream, chocolate syrup and sprinkles. The others are horrified. To each his own.

[anxiouscowboy]

*Tuco, drunk at a wedding, doing an immaculate cha cha slide.*

Blondie: You need water.

Tuco: What I NEED is for you to get FUNKY.

[anxiouscowboy]

Thinking about Tuco after Wallace's torture, how he's lying there on the table just bleeding and crying and giving up the one person who's ever given a shit about him to save his own hide, but for once there's no hatred, no malice in his words---he says Blondie's name like it's a prayer.

[anxiouscowboy]

Idk man I just realized that Manco and Mortimer have the exact same energy as Lightning McQueen and Doc Hudson

[anxiouscowboy]

M&M but they're sassy teenage girl asthetics

[anxiouscowboy]

Idk man I'm just thinking about how the Man With No Name would have absolutely loved Neko Atsume.