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Good Old Days
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I said before that their life, particularly Martenstep's was similar to that of an adult in an educational kid show--he's knowledgeable and still an adult, but his life is like a happier, more peaceful version of the world.
He and Cricketfur also lived in a VERY peaceful era of the Clans. There was no battle since at least since he became an apprentice (not with their Clan at least), there was still lots of food even in Leaf-bare, and anyone who died was either sick for a long time or an elder (no sudden or unexpected deaths until Cricketfur).
So now being in the Dark Forest....it's definitely a very drastic change. Not just the environment, but the cats themselves. It's like taking a character from a kid show and putting them in a horror movie.
Of course, since he never did anything wrong and is not rejected by StarClan, he can join the Stars whenever he wishes, but he doesn't want to. Being with his brother again is worth all of that.
Besides, now he has kits, as does Cricketfur. He wouldn't give them up for anything, but he does often think about that old life, and what it would be like if he was still there but with his kits. Say, to clarify, he wonders what it would be like to still live there, with his brother safe and sound, and with the kits they have now, just adopted in life.
But he also questions himself. Does he really want to go back there because it was so peaceful?
Or does he want to go back to when that was his reality, before he knew what was really going on, before he knew that his sweet innocent brother was a murderer?
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Bonus them now with their kits! (Needlepaw [Martenstep's daughter] and Crisppaw/oak [Cricketfur's son]). Pineazure is probably off to the side a bit.
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Base: Warriors Sleeping F2U Base (ex in desc) by KingoftheKraken on DeviantArt
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