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Leveraging the Six Degrees of Separation

Here's something you may not already know. The theory of six degrees of separation is one that was proposed in 1929 by a Hungarian writer. In a nutshell, it suggests that we are all connected to any one other person in the entire world by a chain of people we know, with at most five people in between them. Let's explore this possibility to see how you might know every celebrity, with at least five intermediaries.

You have a neighbor who is originally from Canada. (That's #1) His family owns a sign company and his mother is friends with another woman . That third woman is a teacher at the university. One of her students was a childhood friend of Angelina Jolie, the famous actress . That's five people between you and Angelina Jolie. You are #6, or #1, depending on whether you look at it from the front to the back or vice versa. Although this is just one hypothetical example among thousands that could be presented, the theory is certainly fascinating. We can never know if we truly have five people between knowing someone famous, unless we dig deep to explore the possibilities. In fact, living amidst an era of technology and social media, it's possible that our degrees of separation may even be less than six.

Leverage connections by identifying common friends

With tools in place on many of the bigger social networks, apps and communities online, you now have more power than ever to meet someone that could benefit you professionally. There's a "People You Might Know" box on LinkedIn; or "You Might Also Want to Follow" on Twitter. These tools help to identify common friends and decrease the assumptive six degrees of separation between you and them. This allows you to spot people with whom you share like-minded hobbies, talents, skills, or anything that can greatly enhance your connections. But how? Just knowing someone isn't really enough, unless you leverage those connections by reaching out to them. Give out a shout or write a personal note to someone if you're looking for something specific. For example, let's say you have a friend (of a friend) who is a fantastic graphic designer. You happen to be looking for revamping your personal website. Rather than advertising the job and starting to filter designers from scratch, you can ask to be introduced to that person through your friend.  This strategy can also work to get introductions, references or to make new friendships. Reinforcing relationships with your existing connections over time can only make them stronger. People like to do business with someone they know, and like. By communicating and reaching out to them, you are initiating a relationship. You will no longer be strangers. These can only lead to more opportunities, job offers, reviews, or whatever you need to strengthen your personal, academic or professional life. Networking is crucial for building connections and for eventually getting great opportunities.

How to increase your 'Power of Six'

One tip to using the six degrees of separation to your advantage is to be willing to give back. If you're asking to be introduced to someone, offer something in return. A lot of authors share reviews with each other to help build credibility on their work. A lot of business people share ideas or connections with each other to make introductions less awkward. The power of six is even more powerful than ever because of the online opportunities that are far reaching and plentiful. Just make sure your requests are not always one-sided.

On that note, when you offer to help someone you meet, it's best not to expect anything in return. In my experience, unselfish giving has always led to many more benefits than anything I've asked for. But don't be afraid to ask when you see someone in your network that might be able to help you, too. At its very essence, these social media opportunities and communities are there to build relationships, rapport and to help people from around the globe to connect with each other and build camaraderie.

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The Deception of First Impressions

People say that first impressions are critical in establishing the perception of a person or thing from the very instant of meeting. But are they, really?  I think first impressions can sometimes be dishonest, in a way. People are always on their best behavior when they are first introduced to someone new. And new products are like shiny, star-spangled gizmos that we can’t wait to get our hands on.  As soon as one product is introduced, it becomes seemingly obsolete by the next season. Whenever a new model hits the market, it’s sure to be even better and more spectacular than its predecessor.

My first impression is… let’s wait and see.

I’m not the type to hold a candle to first impressions. It is kind of like a first date. Both people are doing their best to impress the person sitting across from them. They brag about accomplishments, wear their finest clothes, fix up to look pretty, and maybe even squirt on just a smidge of something that smells wonderfully delicious. Just like a shiny new product that has been recently introduced to the public, people look their best when they go on a first date.

It’s much later on when you see them in their casual T-shirts or nerdy glasses, that they leave a more indelible impression on you. This is the part of them that you might grow to love and respect much more than their initial glass-like persona. Or, you’d even be surprised to find out that they are always looking topnotch, keeping you in a state of “constant awe”. 

This is why I prefer to make assumptions about a person after interacting with them a few times. Will they still wear their best clothes and sound as good as they did upon that first encounter? Will that shiny new gizmo still work as good as new after using it for a few weeks or months?  

The importance of long-term impressions.

It’s important to be genuine when you’re meeting new people. In this way, it’s easier to maintain the initial persona and image that attracted them to you in the first place. 

First impressions only weaken when the initial interaction turns out to be disingenuous, and this is when things can go awry. 

Let’s say, for example, that you just graduated from college. You’re hot-to-trot and ready to embark upon a new career within the field of your chosen profession. You've put in your hard work, years of studying and due diligence and finally made it.  Then you apply for forty positions around the country and find recruiters to help you get a job.  And nothing. Not one phone-call or email inquiry.  

Could it be the first impression you made with your resume? Possibly. Take a look at it and assess whether it represents you in the right manner. If you’re making yourself look like a super-hero on it, back it up with endeavors you have done to justify the claims. 

This applies in many other aspects. Landing new clients, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, or selling more products, for example. Many people don’t put as much precedence on first impressions anymore.  There’s the “wait and see” mentality, especially in a world where everybody claims to have the biggest, fastest, best, or most awesome thing since sliced bread.

It’s all about presentation. The way you present yourself now should be the same way you present yourself in three, six, nine months or even a year from now. Even after you land your dream job, you must maintain your persona. You have to stay fresh and up-to-date. Nobody wants a “dud” date or a “lemon” car or a product that fails.  So, rather than gearing up just to make that all-important first impression; instead strive towards making a lasting one.