#cryptonomicblah

[cryptonomica]

the fact that people’s “missed references” for the most recent dndads is *checks notes* napoleon dynamite, austin powers, borat, and pickle rick is aging me by thousands of years

[cryptonomica]

kabru making my boyfriend want to wear winged eyeliner #allidoiswin

[cryptonomica]

I really enjoyed joshua hutcherson 2hr wincing compilation how about you guys

[cryptonomica]

Are u guys ready for the most unhinged woman on the internet moment I’ve had yet

[cryptonomica]

I’m going on a TRAIN for the first time ever today

[cryptonomica]

See my dog boy

[cryptonomica]

WWJDD (what would John darnielle do)

[cryptonomica]

mountain goats makes songs for people who have to streetrace their stepdad home from the courthouse to claim ownership of the master bedroom in the restraining order

[cryptonomica]

Rico ree. Rico ree? Rico! Rico ree! Ree! EEEEEEAAAH! EHHHHHHH. EE. TWEEEP. TWEEP. iloveyou! hi ree! ri ri! Loveyou ri! *mickey mouse clubhouse theme song whistle*

(my impression of Rico trying to get my attention)

[cryptonomica]

2.1 oz of chicken

[cryptonomica]

hey, don’t cry. 28 million crows on planet earth, ok?

[cryptonomica]

I love to write a passive aggressive email and end it with a “Sincerely” like yes I meant that shit with my heart <3

[cryptonomica]

Rotating it in my mind obsessively until it gets here

[cryptonomica]

Apple Pay is the worst because first I’m jerking it next thing you know there’s a new strapon being sent to my house and I’m $60 broker

[cryptonomica]

i am gming for the first time with the game Magical Kitties Save the Day and by god i will have those magical kitties save the day.

[cryptonomica]

I just crushed the fuck outta my glasses so now I have a big cut on my leg and no glasses. well I do have glasses but they’re even dorkier and gayer than the first pair. LASIK IN LIKE 4 DAYS AT FKN LEAST