#cute enough to ignore the health code violations

[bugieeeee]

Forever thinking about how cute the sorry burger dog is like!!?

[intothespideyverses]

so I had a season 2b/3 predictions post in my drafts that’s been sitting there since the bar mitzvah episode but now that so many Things have happened I feel like I kinda need to redo it. funnily enough I predicted juffy (but it was one-sided), ham having a midlife crisis (although the midlife crisis was linked to ham having a health scare that caused him to try to ‘live every day like its his last’ and not ham being so Done with his family that he just leaves them for india) and the post also mentions tyrus and g*briel coming back (neither have been been confirmed yet but they’re very likely) so! here’s my New and Improved list of Season 3 Predictions/Ideas:

[Disclaimer: I doubt a lot of this will happen bc my mind automatically goes for the most melodramatic scenario. This is still disney channel and they’re too cowardly to go thru with like half of this tbh. also tw for minor abuse mention!]

The G*briel Plot

-g*be comes back and reminds bex of “””why she can never marry anyone””” just as bowie is about to bring up maybe getting back together again. the reason why they shot a wedding scene and the whole green screen thing is bc bex has a nightmare about marrying bowie but then everyone’s heads turn into gabe’s. the following is literally copy and pasted from the first post and tbh I don’t think things will happen this way anymore (I originally thought miranda wasn’t going to be a snake and that her and bowie would get married, leading bex to run back to g*briel so andi could have a father figure in her life again) but it’s still a p interesting plot I think so: g*be’s an abusive asshole. it’s still disney so I doubt they’d show that much but like…he’s very manipulative and he kisses bex really hard all the time in front of everyone and he’s super possessive, etc. he gives bex the silent treatment every time she hangs out with bowie and thus the whole “ask if they’re mad 3 times” thing and on the third time he always yells at her in front of andi. andi notices all of this and tells bowie but bowie thinks she’s just saying that to break bex/gabe up so she can get back with bowie. that is until he witnesses the tomfoolery himself when the couples are on a double date so bowie takes her aside and starts questioning her but bex lies and this whole ugly thing continues on for several episodes until bex and satan have one last fight that goes too far (he says something about andi probably) thats about to get physical and andi strolls in w/ a phone in her hand like 91 fucking 1 bitch. pack your bags ur going home rat! and he’s finally gone and andi tells bex that she doesn’t need another dad if it means bex puts herself thru that kinda torture. and they have another closure ceremony <3

The Divorce Plot

-ham decides to permanently travel the world. he probably comes back for an episode to get cece to sign them divorce papers. this starts a huge plotline that will probably get ignored after 2 episodes lbr here but we finally see cece SNAP bc the way she’s been behaving lately has definitely been leading up to that

-bex is going off the rails at this. she starts slacking at work and the business that caused the rift in her parents’ marriage in the first place is starting to fall apart. the light bill is going unpaid and bex is crumbling. she doesn’t want anyone to know so she makes andi stay at cece’s while she’s living in darkness. bowie visits one day and is like “tf happened to the lights” and bex has a breakdown. she tells him everything and bowie comforts her and offers to help (how? who the hell knows!). bex is so touched that she admits to having feelings for bowie still. bowie turns her down tho bc she’s in a rly emotional state and doesn’t want to take advantage of her. 

-andi eventually finds out what’s been going on and tells cece. cece is the last person bex wanted to know about cloud ten struggling, as cloud ten was the only thing keeping cece sane. they eventually have a heart-to-heart and bex/andi encourage cece to get some closure from ham

The Wandi Plot/Death of Jandi

-wandi rises. they resolve to just be friends at the end of season 2 but after a lot of things that I’ll mention later, andi realizes walker was the one for her :’). they paint a mural alongside cloud ten and cece makes some offhand comment about them becoming a painting duo, which they LOVE. they go around the town offering to paint on the walls of local businesses and it’s rly cute. god can you imagine the montages?? andi is in puppy love however we have like 5 episodes of her despairing over if walker even LIKES her anymore after months of just being friends. the roles are reversed and she’s the one doing all these things to get his attention. bc he’s not an oblivious Fool like jonah, walker picks up on this relatively fast and wandi is official!!

-that leads us to what will come of jandi? they perish of course. andi starts getting jealous of jonah hanging out with all these high school girls and naturally there’s more and more miscommunication and jonah whines about her friendship with walker etc etc etc just break up already god. andi eventually realizes that she’s just not feeling it and she puts her foot down to bex that he’s just not right for her!! bc tbh at this point the only reason she still fw jonah is bc of bex’s constant encouragement 

The Tyrus Plot

-tyrus happens obviously. if we ever actually get a real apology from tj (which I’m doubting at this point lol) this can happen smoothly. I kinda imagine tj trying to teach cyrus how to swim (swimming is definitely on cyrus’ list of things he can’t do) and the first time it happens tj is SO sure cyrus will be able to do it that he lets him go out on the deep end on his own and uh lmao ya boi almost drowns. buffy’s there and she saves him and she tells tj to stay away from cy bc hello he could’ve McDied and tj, crushed over the fact that cyrus could’ve met a watery grave, actually does what she says. cyrus tells buffy that it was his dumbass decision to go on the deep end tho, and tj didn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to do, so buffy relents. cyrus practices by himself and makes it his goal to learn how to swim in order to impress tj. he invites tj to the neighborhood pool one day as a surprise and he just like...cannonballs into the deep end (but he’s STILL not ready) and again almost fucking dies. tj saves him and he starts yelling at him a la titanic (”you’re SO stupid rose why’d ya do that huh???”) and then tj lets it slip that he would’ve mcfreaking lost it if something ever happened to cyrus bc “you mean a lot to me underdog” or w/e and during this whole rant cyrus realizes that he’s floating!! and he’s like yes bitch i did it im swimming! and tj’s so happy for him that he kisses him and cyrus almost drowns again from shock but it’s all good lol. maybe tj avoids him for a bit after the kiss bc cyrus’ reaction seemed like a rejection, but it wasn’t cyrus was honestly just shook to the core. 

-cyrus lets tj know that he likes him too and they start dating. they definitely keep it a secret from the ghc for a while, probably until the midseason finale. maybe jonah finds out first and that’s how cyrus comes out to him and tells him that he used to have a crush on him too. jonah is flattered and cool w/ it. anyway at first tj doesn’t like going on rly public dates with cyrus, not bc he’s ashamed of him or anything, but bc he doesn’t want anyone to make fun of cyrus (he can take ugly remarks but he’d hulk out if anyone touched a hair on cyrus’ head). cyrus doesn’t care tho and the one time they go on a date, some kids from tj’s school (he’d be in high school by season 3 right?) start messing with them. tj does in fact hulk out but only when one of the demons says something about cyrus. cyrus hauls tj off the creep and they talk in private about not wanting to live in fear but also not wanting to get harassed everywhere they go. when cy tells andi, she tells them that maybe they’d be safer if they went on double dates with her and walker, and so that’s a thing and its cute

The Juffy Plot

-anyway by the season 3b, both wandi and tyrus are thriving. they all hang out a lot leaving buffy to feel like a fifth wheel. she hides it tho bc does she ever express her feelings? she soon finds out that jonah is feeling the same way, and he thinks andi and cyrus don’t rly want to hang out with him anymore. buffy starts inviting jonah to all their outings and anytime the two couples are on a double date or something, buffy and jonah decide to do something else together on their own. cyrus takes note of this and tries to push buffy to ask jonah out since they’re practically dating already but she refuses bc he’s still andi’s ex and that violates girl code or w/e. 

-she goes to bex for advice! but she uses a hypothetical situation instead and changes names. bex, unaware that she’s telling buffy to go after her daughter’s ex, tells her to follow her heart but keep it a secret. meanwhile, jonah is slowly but surely realizing his feelings for buffy, and goes to bowie for advice. bc jonah’s a fool, he doesn’t know buffy has any feelings for him whatsoever, and he asks bowie how he can make her see him That Way. bowie, recycling ideas, tells him to perform a song for her but to do it as if he was just practicing and wanted to see if she thought it was a good song. jonah also doesn’t tell bowie that this is all for buffy lol. 

-so jonah invites buffy to the record store to hang out while wandi and tyrus are doing wandi and tyrus things. he plays some song for her (chemistry perhaps?? i still haven’t heard it yet but if its as good as y’all say...) and buffy is all heart eyes!! until she assumes that he wrote that song for another girl. there’s more unnecessary tiptoeing and drama for an episode until jonah notices that there’s something Up with buffy (she started avoiding him) and demands to know what’s going on. she doesn’t feel like talking about fEeLiNgS so instead he challenges her to arm wrestle. if she wins, she has to fess up. buffy’s like “um?? so all I have to do is let you win” but jonah’s like “like you would ever do that lmao”. she almost lets him win but bc he starts taunting she slams his mf arm into the table!! she fesses up and jonah’s like :D bc duh bitch that song was for you this whole time. they keep it a secret bc of bex’s foolish advice but eventually cyrus finds out and tells them to tell andi. andi’s upset at first but she gets over it. the three couples live in harmony 

The High School Plot

-we see more of the high school now that jonah (and tj?? unless he has to repeat a grade which is seeming likely actually) are there. jonah, who’s used to being the big man on campus, gets bullied for liking frisbee so much and is shamed into doing a “real sport” instead. he hates it and is miserable. he puts on a good face for the ghc bc he doesn’t want them to know he’s struggling. it eventually all comes crashing down when he has another panic attack (the first one in a while after starting therapy WHICH HE BETTER). also we get a look at his home life, I hc that he’s adopted and has a lot of foster siblings that have a lot of their own issues, so he constantly downplays his own bc he doesn’t want to be a “burden” and be abandoned again

-amber becomes a part of the crew and hopefully maybe just maybe is a lesbian. she starts hanging out with a bunch of sapphic baddies. she and jonah become friends and they help each other with their respective mental illnesses 

-through jonah, buffy makes friends with the high school track lesbians <3 they adopt her. one of them tho is Evil and is jealous that some middle schooler is getting all of this attention from the captain so she tries to break buffy’s fucking leg akjhskjdhds I told y’all this was melodramatic 

das it. disney you can send my paycheck to [redacted] within 10-12 business days.

[lalainajanes]

80+98?

80 Green Eyed Epiphany + 98 Curses

On day four of Caroline’s visit to New Orleans  (she’d never been, despite numerous invitations), Klaus had been cursed.

That first morning he’d been supposed to meet her at a cafe. She’d predictably fallen in love with beignets, is working her way through all the top rated spots. Kind of driving Klaus crazy - he’s not short of opinions (on anything, ever) and doesn’t trust the taste levels of internet strangers - but Caroline wants to make up her own mind.

He’d complained but at least it had made her laugh.

She’d gotten a text just as she’d been leaving her hotel, a short message from Klaus saying a small problem had cropped up overnight and could she possibly swing by the compound?

She’d changed direction, picked up two coffees on her way, had reread Klaus’ text looking for a clue. Caroline had figured the lack of urgency meant the problem was relatively minor, no chances of death or large scale destruction.

She’d been kinda wrong about that.

Freya had answered her knock looking a little tired and a lot aggravated. Caroline had regretted not calling ahead and offering to pick up an extra coffee. She’s barely offered a greeting when Frey’s had sighed, appearing relieved, “Come on in, I’m glad you’re here. Klaus is being… well, Klaus.”

“Murdery and a pain in the ass?” Caroline had asked.

Freya had laughed and agreed and they’d both been on the receiving end of Klaus’ very best unimpressed glare when they’d joined him in Freya’s study. He hadn’t said anything even though Klaus did snippy excellently he always managed a flawless amount of bite, his accent and ridiculous confidence smoothing any hint of whininess.

Klaus staying silent, not even bothering with a greeting or a thank you when she’d set his coffee down, had been weird.

“What’s up?” Caroline had asked cautiously, taking in the mountain of opened spell books.

Freya had done the explaining.

A witch (they didn’t know which one) had placed a curse (the specifics of which were also unknown) on Klaus and his voice had been taken.

Caroline might have made a joke about The Little Mermaid. And had been horrified that neither Klaus nor Freya had seen the Disney movie. And they pretended to be so cultured and fancy, sheesh.

Klaus had grabbed her attention, handing her a sketchbook with a few scribbled (if one could call Klaus’ pretty handwriting such a thing) lines. He thought it best to get out of New Orleans for a bit, he was sorry to have to cut her tour short but would be happy to continue it at a later date. The final bit was a question asking her to leave with him.

Saying no hadn’t even crossed Caroline’s mind. Showing up in Klaus’ home base hadn’t been a casual move. In the decades since she’d reestablished contact. Fifty-three years ago she’d sent him an invitation to her college graduation. Klaus had shown up with a present this time, an airline voucher, and Caroline had accepted it, driven to Atlanta and taken the first available international flight out.

A decision she’s never regretted for a second.

At some point she’d taken to sending him postcards, quick little reviews of whatever city she’d just finished devouring jotted on the back. Caroline had taken to throwing herself kick ass birthday parties and Klaus had strolled in to her big four-oh.

She hadn’t minded and they’d split the bottle of champagne he’d brought. After that Klaus had popped up in person every couple of years. They’d stopped bothering to pretend they wouldn’t end up in bed together after their third not so coincidental meet up. They’d graduated from postcards to regular emails and occasional phone calls.

Caroline thinks she might be ready for something more but she hasn’t quite figured out how to say so.

She’d set the sketchbook down once she’d finished reading, Klaus had been watching her expectantly, just the slightest bit wary.  Very aware of their audience Caroline had kept it simple, “I’m in. Where are we going?”

Less than twenty-four hours later and they’re in New York. Since the goal was to lay low their staying at one of her homes. It’s only a one bedroom but the views are amazing. She watches Klaus closely as they walk in but he seems happy enough, making a close study of the art on the walls. She explains where she’d gotten them as he moves from piece to piece. For once her chatterbox tendencies are going to come in handy. They end up next to the windows, Klaus had shed his jacket, the sleeves of his t-shirt are pushed up. Caroline bumps her shoulder into his, “This is why I bought the place.”

The sun’s just beginning to set and she figures Klaus will appreciate the sight. When she hears his appreciative hum she forgets all about the changing sky. He’s turned to face her, face just as surprised. His mouth opens and no sound comes out. Klaus tries again, his jaw tensing in frustration. She reaches out instinctively, and when her hand touches his forearm words ring out, “...meddlesome bloody witches!”

Caroline assumes the words she’d missed had been creative death threats but she can’t bring herself to care. “Okay. Experiment time. Say something.”

“This place suits you, love. I can see why you chose it.”

Caroline beams. It was always nice to have her good taste appreciated. “Why thank you.” She takes two steps away from him, “How about now?”

Nothing.

He sighs, inaudibly, and Caroline reaches for his hand. His fingers thread through hers, squeezing. “While I see some perks to this loophole I imagine it’ll come with plenty of irritations.”

“Can everybody hear you if they touch you? Is it maybe just vampires? Maybe it’s just me?” Kind of a conceited thought but they’d been spending an awful lot of time together over the last few days. Maybe whatever he’d been whammied with had noticed. Magic could be tricky.

“We’ll have to test it. Irritating, like I said.”

He’s distinctly grumbly and Caroline finds herself smiling. “First step, call Freya. Maybe this news will help her out. Then we’ll go out and play scientists.”

“And the second step?”

Caroline grins, “Well, I want to shower off the plane germs. Wanna help?”

With that much skin on skin contact they should be able to hash out their plan of attack with minimal interruptions.

It doesn’t take long for Caroline to begin contemplating death and destruction. More death, if she’s being honest. Other people’s. They’d quickly found that Klaus could talk to anyone as long as he touched them. Plenty of people take the opportunity to touch him back.

And that’s where Caroline’s issues had begun.

She can’t really blame them. He’s an appealing package and the random humans they meet in restaurants and clubs don’t know the dimples and charm hide something dangerous.

Still, it’s driving her freaking nuts. She wants to slap away the hands that rest on his arm, shove in between Klaus and every person who pushes into his space. Had indulged in a brief but satisfying fantasy of ripping out the hair of the woman last night who’d feigned drunkenness and pressed her barely contained boobs all over him.

She’d all bit ripped his pants off when they’d gotten back to her place. Klaus hadn’t minded, had shoved her skirt up, had used his teeth to shred the front of her dress, and taken her against the door.

Tonight they’re going to see a play, are having drinks first. Her martini splashes over the rim, Caroline’s too vigorous stirring creating a tiny whirlpool. She groans, fumbling for a napkin, her eyes glued on Klaus across the room.

The bartender’s cute in a nerdy hipster kind of way, had blushed a little when Klaus had leaned in, grabbed his wrist and said something about his watch. The guy’s still a little flushed, leaning against the bar, mirroring Klaus’ pose. Their forearms are pressed together and he’s ignored the last two customers who tried to get service.

She’s tempted to go over there (maybe it would be a good deed? CuteNerd would regret getting fired because Klaus is distractingly hot) but she stays planted in her seat.

Caroline needs to claw back a little control because if she goes over there she might end up doing something that’ll get them kicked out.

It’s all adults in here but the things Caroline want to do probably violate health codes. Also, there’s always the risk someone would film it and having a sex tape on the internet is so not something Caroline’s into.

One just for her and Klaus? Sure, she’d be down.

Ugh. That train of thought so isn’t helping her control issue.

He glances over at her, brows furrowing and whatever he’d been saying trailing off. Caroline smiles but she knows it’s obviously fake because Klaus straightens, heading her way.

CuteNerd looks like someone’s kicked his puppy, poor thing.

Klaus is sliding into the booth before she can figure out what to say. He grabs the hand she’s spilled her drink on, lifting it to his mouth. His lips wrap around her index finger, teeth scraping the pad.

So. Not. Fair.

“Are you…”

His question is lost when she surges into him. She balances herself with a hand on his chest, letting it slide up and curve around the back of his neck. His mouth is open, waiting for her, . His hands urge her closer. Caroline doesn’t kiss him like she’s asking permission.

She kisses him like he’s already hers.

[cutthecrxp]

Hands shoved into the pockets of her leather jacket, her boots landing with a smack with every step she skipped, Rita half-walked, half-jogged her way through the small town until she reached The Writer's Stop. She was neither a writer, nor was she stopping, but she'd promised Artie she'd grab him a coffee – ugh, how did he drink that stuff? – and figured a tea and a brownie for herself wouldn't go amiss while she was there.

Upon entering the coffee shop, she noticed it was fairly busy, the place buzzing with activity and the queue just about reaching the door. With a groan, she joined the end and started impatiently tapping her foot, hoping that the service was at least fast. She couldn't imagine how such a small town could keep producing such an endless array of people – new townsfolk cropping up on every corner each time Rita so much as blinked. Sighing, and hopping up onto her tiptoes, she craned her neck to look over the people in front of her, and pouted upon realising that she may as well just make herself at home, certain that the queue wouldn't be dispersing any time soon.

A cute blonde, who appeared to be the only one working on the tills today, didn't even seem to be checking her orders. With coffee machines rumbling away behind her, the toasters and microwaves all at work, she seemed to be quite content with her chin in her hand as she grinned, rather animatedly, staring wide eyed at the first customer in the queue, listening intently as they chatted away amongst themselves. Rita wouldn't usually mind, always happy enough to lose herself in conversation with pretty girls, but when she wasn't even the one getting in on any of the action it seemed wasted, and she was getting impatient.

Ugh, speaking of pretty blondes. As the minutes ticked by, Rita's mind began to wander, and she found herself lost in thoughts of Marie. Marie, pretty, blonde, sexy Marie. Damn it. Rita wasn't the type of person that would usually let herself get caught up with someone so... prim, and proper. Marie was exactly the kind of girl that Rita knew she should steer well clear of. Despite her gorgeous smile, and seemingly friendly disposition, she was trouble. Girls like that – the type with money, and wearing pretty pink dresses that Rita wouldn't be caught dead in – didn't go for people like Rita. They only used them as a pit stop on their way to something better. Rita had wasted her time over and over again with rich kids, usually just tossed aside and back onto the streets when they got bored of their 'experiment'.

Still, she couldn't help but keep thinking about that kiss. She'd just been harmlessly walking through Cherry Grove, minding her own business – okay, maybe she wasn't being quite as innocent as she claimed – when she'd bumped into Marie. She'd decided to be chill about it, figuring a little flirting here and there would do no harm – and, for a change, not the other kind of flirting, in which her fingers would dance inside the other girl's pockets to see what she could nab – when Marie had clasped her hand in her own, tugging her down the street and excitedly began pointing and squealing at the sight of a pair of heels. So as not to deter the girl, Rita had smiled and nodded eagerly, ignoring the unsettling feeling in her chest as she eyed the footwear. Not only were they something she figured Marie would look way hotter in than her, but there was no way she'd ever be able to even dream of affording them. Forcing a smile and training her eyes on the gorgeous blonde, and not the shoes, she'd been a little too relieved to hear her phone go off, only to be left startled when the blonde's goodbye had been a little... more friendly than Rita was used to.

And hey, listen, Rita was used to impromptu makeout sessions. She revelled in them. Grabbing a guy or a girl by the waist, pulling them in and eagerly pressing her mouth to their own, to their neck, and working their way down their body... it was just about the only thing Rita truly excelled in. She could make just about anyone squeal and moan at all the right times, her hands busying themselves in all the right places. But she hadn't expected that, not in a million years. And yet her own idiot brain couldn't stop thinking about that one, dumb kiss. It had probably meant nothing, and yet Rita found herself itching for a taste of more.

Snapped from her reverie, her head shot up when the other excitable blonde seemed to be ushering her forward. With a brief, dazed 'whaaa-?', Rita's eyes shot up and she sprung forward, regaining control and offering the girl a quick flutter of her eyelashes and a flirty smile.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, babe. Uhhh, can I get a tea, one of those awesome brownies that you guys do, and a coffee to go?”

The girl responded with such enthusiasm you'd almost think Rita had asked her for her hand in marriage, but so long as she got her order she didn't mind. Plus, she'd not asked her a million questions about her coffee, and hadn't spouted off a load of crap she hadn't understood about whether or not she wanted cinnamon, or a splash of coconut, or some other shit. Hell, if it wasn't good enough for Artie, he'd just have to deal.

While the barista busied herself away at the machines, her obscenely long hair – that Rita was almost sure had to be some kind of health code violation – trailing behind her, the New Yorker stuffed her hands back into her pocket so as to have the money ready to pay. She'd done enough waiting around that all she wanted now was to be gone. Pulling out a few measly coins, she frowned, and had just been about to dig further, when she felt a stirring behind her, and shot a quick glance back, only to find herself face-to-face with...

“Marie? Oh, uh... hey...” she flustered, before pulling herself together and offering the girl a warm, inviting smile. Admittedly, her following comment wasn't quite as nonchalant as she'd been aiming for. “Fancy seeing you here, huh?”

[duaneodavila]

Brill’s Blame

Steven Brill made his bones publishing a rag called “The American Lawyer.” It was nicknamed the American Liar within the bar, kind of the National Enquirer for lawyers. It was like the original, pre-SJW, version of Above The Law when David Lat was still in charge and it was viciously witty, except the American Lawyer wasn’t witty.

Brill, a baby boomer, explains in Time magazine why it’s all boomers’ fault (though not his) and why government should chew the Millennials food and gently, lovingly put it in their mouth so they don’t starve. After all, if government does not tie their shoes, wipe their cute little tushy, they will fail. Who is this “they”? The 90% of America who has been frozen out of success by the evil 10%, who has built a “moat” around their success to keep the riff raff out.

The protected overmatched, overran and paralyzed the government. The unprotected were left even further behind. And in many cases, the work was done by a generation of smart, hungry strivers who benefited from one of the most American values of all: meritocracy.

The evil boomers succeeded, per Brill, because they were smarter, swifter, more conniving than others. They created the meritocracy. It’s not that they didn’t earn it, but that once they earned it, the protected it by seizing control of the government to freeze everyone else out.

This is not to say that all is rotten in the United States. There are more opportunities available today for women, nonwhites and other minorities than ever. There are miracles happening daily in the nation’s laboratories, on the campuses of its world-class colleges and universities, in the offices of companies creating software for robots and medical diagnostics, in concert halls and on Broadway stages, and at joyous ceremonies swearing in proud new citizens.

This is an important paragraph, not merely because it reflects the values Brill finds miraculous, but because it reflects his obliviousness to the obvious significance of the values he extols.

Yet key measures of the nation’s public engagement, satisfaction and confidence – voter turnout, knowledge of public-policy issues, faith that the next generation will fare better than the current one, and respect for basic institutions, especially the government – are far below what they were 50 years ago, and in many cases have reached near historic lows.

It is difficult to argue that the cynicism is misplaced. From matters small – there are an average of 657 water-main breaks a day, for example – to large, it is clear that the country has gone into a tailspin over the last half-century, when John F. Kennedy’s New Frontier was about seizing the future, not trying to survive the present.

For some, the irony would be searing. Not for Brill, who is blind to cause and effect, and blind to his own blindness. He fails to grasp how the allocation of scarce resources from infrastructure to social engineering leaves our water mains, bridges, highways at risk. He refuses to connect the dots between an educational system that requires every new student to take gender studies but not English or history, Critical Theory but not math or physics.

Robotics and artificial intelligence are miracles, indeed, but they come at a cost, the jobs that would otherwise be available to those poor, helpless kids for whom Brill cries. The political ignorance that permeates a generation spoon-fed their ideology, who knows every detail about the life of Kim Kardashian, but can’t name the three branches of government, may well be tainted by cynicism. They’ve been taught it’s all evil and they can’t win, so why bother trying?

Beyond that, too few basic services seem to work as they should. America’s airports are an embarrassment, and a modern air-traffic control system is more than 25 years behind its original schedule. The power grid, roads and rails are crumbling, pushing the U.S. far down international rankings for infrastructure quality. Despite spending more on health care and K-12 education per capita than most other developed countries, health care outcomes and student achievement also rank in the middle or worse globally. Among the 35 OECD countries, American children rank 30th in math proficiency and 19th in science.

Brill’s refusal to connect the very dots he sets out is the prelude to the real culprit.

For too many, the present is hard enough. Income inequality has soared: inflation-adjusted middle-class wages have been nearly frozen for the last four decades, while earnings of the top 1% have nearly tripled. The recovery from the crash of 2008 – which saw banks and bankers bailed out while millions lost their homes, savings and jobs – was reserved almost exclusively for the wealthiest. Their incomes in the three years following the crash went up by nearly a third, while the bottom 99% saw an uptick of less than half of 1%. Only a democracy and an economy that has discarded its basic mission of holding the community together, or failed at it, would produce those results.

The reason “millions lost their homes, savings and jobs” in the crash of 2008 wasn’t because the 1% was greedy, but because everyone was greedy. It was a real estate bubble, where people bought properties they couldn’t afford in the belief they could sell them in a couple years, as their teaser mortgage rate was about to convert into a fixed rate they couldn’t pay, and they would pocket the difference. It worked well for a few years until it didn’t.

The impetus for the crash was junk securities based on untenable mortgages. The junk securities represented fraud and greed. So too did the untenable mortgages. People earning $50,000 per year couldn’t pay monthly mortgages of $5,000. This wasn’t a mystery, but a calculated risk. They lost. It was a wild ride while it lasted, but no house of cards can stand forever.

Does this present a huge societal problem of income inequality? Well sure, just as the false but inspirational story about Henry Ford building a car that his factory workers could afford to buy. If there aren’t jobs, isn’t income, isn’t a goal to which young people aspire, then we’re doomed to crash again. Eventually the money will run dry to buy disposable iToys or advertise on Google. Long term economic existence will cut into short term profits, but requires an attention span of more than eight seconds.

Brill has a solution, that a benevolent Big Brother will take care of us.

 The unprotected need the government to provide good public schools so that their children have a chance to advance. They need a level competitive playing field for their small businesses, a fair shake in consumer disputes and a realistic shot at justice in the courts. They need the government to provide a safety net to ensure that their families have access to good health care, that no one goes hungry when shifts in the economy or temporary setbacks take away their jobs and that they get help to rebuild after a hurricane or other disaster. They need the government to ensure a safe workplace and a living minimum wage. They need mass-transit systems that work and call centers at Social Security offices that don’t produce busy signals. They need the government to keep the political system fair and protect it from domination by those who can give politicians the most money. They need the government to provide fair labor laws and to promote an economy and a tax code that tempers the extremes of income inequality and makes economic opportunity more than an empty cliché.

What’s preventing this Utopia from happening?

But there is a theme that threads through and ties together all the strands: many of the most talented, driven Americans used what makes America great–the First Amendment, due process, financial and legal ingenuity, free markets and free trade, meritocracy, even democracy itself–to chase the American Dream. And they won it, for themselves.

“War is peace”, “Freedom is slavery” and “Ignorance is strength.” Blame the meritocracy and the government will take care of you. If you can’t trust the American Liar, who can you trust?

Copyright © 2007-2018 Simple Justice NY, LLC This feed is for personal, non-commercial and Newstex use only. The use of this feed anywhere else violates copyright. If this content is not in your news reader, it means the page you are viewing infringes copyright. (Digital Fingerprint: 51981395c77d7762065ca2c084b63e47) Brill’s Blame republished via Simple Justice

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Recently, Mommy-bloggers paid by the organic industry have been hitting the scientific and corporate communities quite hard, with fear campaigns and if you love your children guilt trips. Even Hollywood stars are reading from the Organic is what good mothers do script.

Ordinarily, eco-religious feel-good pulp from the privileged classes is better left ignored ¦ until mainstream media pick up on them and the marketing managers at large food and restaurant corporations begin to bow to FoodBabeArmy email campaigns.

When I read a rather weak, low-ball piece in Mamavation (Changing Lives One Mom at a Time) called The top 10 reasons to feed your family organic, I thought: This is nonsense (albeit, made to make people feel good about themselves). It challenged me to come up with some reasons not to feed your family organic and to make the point further I used the pro-organic campaigner s approach - like emotional blackmail, such as Are you a good mother?"

Here are the Top 20 Reasons Not to Feed your Family Organic:

Too expensive and poor quality Why is organic food more expensive? Is it just because Whole Foods have spotted a vulnerable, rich market niche of aging Baby Boomers afraid of dying and willing to happily dispose of their income to rampant price gougers who help fund the scaremongering? Given the average lower yields from organic farming, the higher risk of crop failure tends to be priced into the market. Others would say organic has become a green designer label but this seems to contradict the second element, that organic is of a lower quality.Many pesticides are used to keep produce looking good and edible and preventing them from rotting on the branches. Food is emotional so for many, quality in appearance is important. Organic shoppers have other emotional stimuli which allow them to look beyond the inferior quality. I, myself, use no pesticides on the apples I grow at home and when I eat them, I core and slice them to get the wormy parts out. I accept that as part of my produce but I would not pay for such poor quality in a store.

Promotes child labor in Africa This is an endemic issue in many African subsistence farming communities. See an ILO report that breaks down child labour in Africa according to gender and type of farming. The logic is quite clear. Only 5.4% of European agricultural land use is organic, while the market for organic is growing much faster. African family farms are organic by default (due to the high cost of pesticides and fertilisers as well as pressure from EU import/export regulators to deny African agriculture the benefits of using modern technologies like GMOs).While the focus of child labour in Africa has largely been on cocoa production from West Africa, the inability of Europe to be able to feed itself (due to an absurd reliance on medieval agricultural technologies) has led to an increase of African organic agricultural exports. The organi-gurus seem content in denying this correlation when they choose organic, pretending they are not actually supporting those little hands that are manually pulling out the weeds and breaking off pest-ridden leaves rather than going to school. They argue to choose local, but you just can t grow enough locally to meet demand.

Organic uses more land with lower yields, reducing biodiversity Loss of natural habitat, according to the UN, is one of the greatest threats to biodiversity. Depending on the crop and the region, organic farming tends to yield between 19-60% less than conventional farming (see a list of recent academic studies).I know that many organic lobbying organisations like IFOAM are trying to juice the numbers with their own studies (or the cute claim that more weeds are better for biodiversity), but the point is that organic yields are significantly lower in the best of situations and can be catastrophically lower during years with high pest outbreaks. If we were to convert all farms to organic, we would have to do two things prepare for less food (the organic lobby is trying to bring in the food waste trickas the answer) or plough under more meadows and forests. With a growing global population, it would be advisable to rely on technology rather than eco-religion. Higher yields on less land, allowing for larger habitat restoration, seems to me a better solution.

The organic industry uses unethical lobbying tactics In the Risk-Monger blogs, I have been cataloguing a long litany of organic industry funding of questionable activist science, non-transparent funding of food gurus and scaremongeringand the outright witch-hunts that I could only describe as Neo-McCarthyism. If ever there were lobbyists who should be ashamed of their practices and code violations, it would be those acting on behalf of the organic food industry.

Pesticides approved for organic farming are toxic to bees One very common misperception is that organic food contains no pesticides. Of course they do, otherwise organic farmers would grow food only to feed the insects and remediate the soil. In most countries, pesticides are permitted in organic farming if they come from a natural source (and thus not of a synthetic origin). In some cases, these natural substances can be synthetically manufactured although it depends from one country s standard to another s. In order to combat pest infestations, fungus and mould, organic pesticides need to be toxic (another point the organic industry lobby has not been very forthcoming on).

The eco-version of the naturalist fallacy assumes that anything natural is benign and acceptable, but many organic-approved pesticides are far worse for the environment that the well-tested synthetic substances. Pyrethrins, sulphates, nicotine ¦ are all meant to kill, and being of a natural source does not mean they are harmless to the environment.

I did a blog earlier this year where I looked at how two organic pesticides (Rotenone and Azadirachtin) were extremely toxic to bees and how the organic lobby was fighting to keep them on the market (see Reason 4).

Pesticides approved for organic farming are toxic to humans There are two ways to explain this. As in Reason 5, pesticides derived from a natural source are also toxic, in some cases much less tested because we rarely test natural chemicals. Rotenone, a nasty organic farming pesticide, has been clearly linked to Parkinson s disease. I cannot begin to underline all of the health risks from ingesting pyrethrins.

More interesting perhaps is the level of toxicity of naturally occurring pesticides, toxins and carcinogens that evolution has brought about. Bruce Ames has highlighted the difference of the health risk from exposure to naturally occurring pesticides as opposed to the much more benign exposure we risk from synthetic pesticides. Have a look at Ames articleand ask yourself what all of the fuss is about.

About 99.9 percent of the chemicals humans ingest are natural. The amounts of synthetic pesticide residues in plant food are insignificant compared to the amount of natural pesticides produced by plants themselves. Of all dietary pesticides that humans eat, 99.99 percent are natural: they are chemicals produced by plants to defend themselves against fungi, insects, and other animal predators.

I keep reminding myself that Ames was the darling of the environmental movement in the 1970s.

Research shows no difference, at all, in taste, health or safety This one gets to the organi-gurus the most, especially as taste is an emotional sentiment and thus based on purely anecdotal perception. But in blind taste-tests, time and time again, people could not spot the difference. As far as health and safetyissues are concerned, people will believe what they want to believe, but any studies not done by the organic industry lobby simply cannot ground that in evidence.As religion, it is fine to believe that, but don t call it science.

Higher tillage releases more CO2 There is a lot of debate among conventional farmers on whether no-till farming is better (I grew up on a disking farm!), but given that organic farmers do not use herbicides, they need to till the land more frequently to control weeds. This of course consumes more tractor fuel (although we want to believe organic farmers use solar-powered tractors), but also, increased tillage separates microorganisms in the soil, releasing them into the atmosphere (see a list of studies on carbon challenges for organic farming).I am going to get into the emissions from cow manure in another point, but few would argue with me that more CO2 is emitted per production unit from organic tillage than from conventional farming (no matter how scary organic industry lobbyists try to portray the factory farm).

Anti-GMO / anti-pesticide research is based on poor activist science Last year I coined the term activist science to describe a research malpractice. A traditional scientist gathers the evidence and draws a conclusion.An activist scientist starts with the conclusion and searches for evidence. In the last year we have seen, and I have exposed, some very ethically challenged activist science accepted into the mainstream, including scandals around the neonicotinoid /bee health research, the IARC glyphosate debacleand of course, the celebrated Séralini study. All of these were funded or influenced by organisations tied to the organic industry (see reason 4).

One year of pesticide residues is less toxic than one cup of coffee Once again, back to Bruce Ames (although he is in his 80s, someone should introduce him to the FoodBabe!). In an interview over 20 years ago, he stated:

A cup of coffee is filled with chemicals. They ve identified a thousand chemicals in a cup of coffee. But we only found 22 that have been tested in animal cancer tests out of this thousand. And of those, 17 are carcinogens. There are 10 milligrams of known carcinogens in a cup of coffee and that s more carcinogens than you re likely to get from pesticide residues for a year!

But I like coffee! The point is that the risk from synthetic pesticides at the maximum residue exposure levels is practically meaningless. It is no surprise that caffeine is ten times more toxic than glyphosate a lot of other natural chemicals are far more toxic but the organi-gurus are too busy scaring us to make us get this point.

One little addendum to make today s anti-pesticide campaign seem even more ridiculous: Ames made this statement 21 years ago, so considering that synthetic pesticides were much more toxic then than they are today, we might need to radically revise Ames comparison downwards (perhaps to the equivalent of a sip of coffee today).

GMOs save lives In September, the BBC entered the debate on whether the genetic modification of human embryos should be allowed. They made the argument quite clear, GM saves lives. Anyone who takes medicines every day or injects insulin to fight diabetes with the hope of enjoying more good quality years appreciates the achievements of biotechnology.

Plant biology is no different, no matter how the opportunists try to scare it up with the M word or calling them chemicals. We have a technology that can increase food supply, reduce hunger, fight diseases like Vitamin A Deficiency that kills half a million children a year, and neo-Luddites are going around shouting slogans, destroying test fields and spreading falsehoods in their witch-hunts. History will look back and scoff at this period (which I call the Age of Stupid).

The most ridiculous element of the organic lobby s big jump into the GMO debate is that GM technology is a tool for reducing both organic and conventional pesticide use. It should be welcomed as a scientific advance for organic farming. Instead they have created a fiction, to milk the anti-Monsanto crusade, that GMOs lead to more pesticide use, and that glyphosate causes all sorts of diseases. It does not. A shameful pack of Luddites with blood on their hands.

Hormone scaremongering is overplayed There has been a lot of fear about conventionally farmed livestock being given growth hormones and for many, the amount of hormones does not matter, but rather that it is not natural and hence is not supposed to be there. The organic industry lobby uses this chapter of the naturalist fallacy to get nervous consumers to act against conventional livestock farming, but the numbers are so ridiculously insignificant as to make this argument embarrassingly overplayed. See a clear example comparing levels of hormones in beef compared to potatoes, peas and cabbage. If you choose to eat beef and you are concerned about hormones, then stop eating ¦ everything!

This of course is nowhere even on the scale when one considers the level of endocrine disruptors found naturally in coffee, soybeans and chick peas (and we are not even talking about hormones from birth control pills and HRTs flushed into the water systems). See a useful table that puts stupid into its place.

Higher levels of pollutants in groundwater found from organic fertilisers Organic farmers only use cow, pig and poultry manure and other natural composts to fertilise their fields. This runs off into surface and groundwater, increasing nitrate and acidic levels which can have enormous consequences on local ecosystems. See an EPA supported study. As organic farming increases to meet the growing demand, are we prepared for the onslaught to the environment? As well, creating a larger market for livestock manure at a time when we need to reduce meat consumption is counter-productive to our goal of reducing CO2 emissions to combat climate change.

Conventional farmers have the option to use synthetic fertilisers which, when used precisely, are more efficient for direct nutrient management, emitting far fewer pollutants and reducing CO2 emissions. It is pure madness to reject this technology just because it is not natural, given the dire environmental consequences organic fertilisers are causing. And yet the organic lobby continues to tout the environmental benefits of their medieval farming practices.

Organic farming has led to serious E. coli outbreaks and fatalities The over-emphasis on cow manure in organic farming has led to many serious human health crises, including most importantly, E. coli outbreaks due to fecal contamination from manure. In the US, E. coli affects thousands each year in everything from mild stomach discomfort to fatalities particularly among the vulnerable, elderly and disabled.A study comparing organic and conventionally farmed vegetables found E. coli traces on 10% of organic but only 2% of conventionally farmed vegetables. Indeed, bacteria are natural and organic consumers need to understand that natural is not always desirable. The worst recent case of E. coli occurred in Germany in 2011. The public panic and regulatory mismanagement created headlines during an outbreak that affected almost 4000 consumers, 800 with long-term illnesses, killing 53. Months later, after so many conventional farmers were falsely put under suspicion and had lost markets and international exports, the source of the outbreak was found to be an organic sprout farm (growing produce directly in fresh cow manure).

Organic food causes increased cancer susceptibility If you want to prevent cancer, eat at least five servings of fruit and vegetables per day! We hear this often but what does it mean in an economy or region where a significant part of the population cannot afford to buy five fresh servings? Organic is a luxury brand for the wealthy or aspiring populations (why Hollywood celebrities have jumped onto the Bash conventional farming bandwagon).Organic has no health benefits (outside of psychological) see reason 7 but rather, by artificially interfering with the agricultural marketplace and campaigning to handcuff conventional farming , the organic lobby is putting price pressure on the availability of fresh fruit and vegetables. While this does not affect the arrogant, affluent FoodBabes of the world, it denies a significant part of the population from access to cancer-fighting micronutrients.Bruce Ames did a study on this, finding that the lowest 20% income bracket in the US had the highest cancer rates. Excluding lifestyle issues like smoking, diet and the lack of access to fruit and vegetables was the highest contributing factor to cancers. Ames conclusion is to increase access to fruit and vegetables for the poorest population.

I just think all this business of organic food is nonsense basically. We should be eating more fruits and vegetables, so the main way to do that is to make them cheaper. Anything that makes fruits and vegetables more expensive may increase cancer.

Animals suffer when denied medicine This is the barbaric face of the organic lobby. Fearing the overuse of antibiotics in livestock management, organic activists like the FoodBabe are demanding that large retail and restaurant business source only drug-free meat. Animals, like people, get sick, and when a child is suffering from an illness, most parents would want to ease that suffering with medicines (including antibiotics if serious). So too with animals. That organic requirements or standards in many countries forbid such interventions means animals will suffer for some rich person s narrow self-indulgence in steak purity. Let Vani Hari raise her own cows and pigs.

Bottom line, if you choose organic because you think it is healthier and better for the environment, what the hell are you even doing eating meat??? The hypocrisy of the watermelon-type environmentalists is outrageous. If people want to eat and enjoy meat, that is perfectly fine. Just don t go about drawing lines where you are better than others because of your organic pretentiousness.

Reduction in agricultural yields creates more global food insecurity This is a no-brainer and perhaps the strongest reason we should prevent the selfish endeavour of encouraging organic farming. With a growing global population, yields per hectare need to be going up, not down. We have had the good fortune of not having any significant crop failures in the last few years there has been little impact on global food reserves. But as more extreme weather conditions are expected in the coming decade, the idea that we can be complacent about food production levels is troubling.

Besides weather and disease outbreaks, there are also man-made stresses that play havoc with global food security. A decade ago, environmentalists had pushed for increased biofuels production and as agriculture recalibrated for the new energy opportunities, food stocks decreased dramatically, prices soared and many poor economies faced crises. I have argued that the Arab Spring phenomenon was due to the fall-out from the food price increases that had affected most middle and lower income countries at that time.

Rising demand for lower-yielding organic food production will irresponsibly add stress to the global food production levels. The organic lobby s reply is smug and cynical: there is no problem, we just need to reduce food waste ( ¦ and lower population levels). But here is an issue to ponder. Consider tomorrow what would happen if Coca-Cola bowed to activist pressure and committed to sourcing only organic, non-GMOs. It would be impossible to produce sufficient maize for this one global client and prices in poor countries would go through the roof. What a great victory that would be!

Organic accentuates social exclusion Organic is just one piece of a nasty fabric I have referred to as the economic injustice of environmentalism. The Green Movement has influenced policies to help the rich, aristocratic class do well at the cost of the poor, working class.Whether it is subsidies for solar panels (paid in the form of higher rates on those who could not afford panels) or electric cars, the affluent do not think about the consequences of their actions on the poorer classes. As prices increase on food and choices go down, will the FoodBabe feel sorry for those without? As Vivienne Westwood said: poor people should eat less so they can afford organic food.

Exporting anti-technology ideologies on poor economies is immoral Many of the angrier comments I have read on the Risk-Monger Facebook page have been narrow and locally based. My critics only buy locally, don t worry how their food demands affect global food security, they shun large global food companies, and expect that everyone in the world will do just fine making the same food decisions they make in their isolated economic wonderland. But putting organic, anti-GMO demands on poor, developing countries is immoral.I have lashed out regularly at Greenpeace for its environmental colonialism and attacks on the capacity of developing countries to try to have access to modern food technologies. Their campaigns against Golden Rice exemplify the moral vacancy of that horrid organisation.

Organic campaigns create an unfair prejudice of conventional farmers Pro-organic groups like Pesticides Action Network or Friends of the Earth are trying to portray conventional farmers as industrial farming or faceless factory farms. They have created a public villain, indiscriminately pouring chemicals down the throat of Mother Nature, mistreating poor animals and not caring about nature or our health, but only big, Monsanto-sized profits.This is contrasted by the saintly, bucolic image of the organic farmer, who loves the land, is concerned for our health and earns just enough to support his children who will lovingly take over the homestead some day. I have given examples in what I refer to as the vulgar vilification of farmers, and as someone who grew up on a small family farm, I resent the arrogance of these cosmopolitan zealots.

Food is a very personal, and very emotional issue for each individual. Concerns multiply when, as parents, we struggle with decisions that affect those precious to us. I totally get that, so I do not expect you to agree with all 20 of these reasons. But if you accept even 5 of the 20 reasons, then you should reconsider your position before you decide to share or retweet some feel-good argument from someone paid by the organic food industry.

You are perfectly free to choose to eat organic if that makes you feel good and you can afford it or live with the consequences and contradictions that is why we have religion. But if you want to influence others to do the same, then you have to address these 20 points, not with feelings, anecdotes and stories, but with facts. It would be more intellectually honest to realise flaws in arguments than to continue to push bad ideas that have enormous consequences for the sake of fundamentalist purity.