#cuz this is egghogs u know its about to get fucked up and sad baybee

[themetalvirus]

Hypothetically speaking (since with how deeply he's ingrained the whole "my dad can do no wrong" mentality, him leaving it is going to be damn near impossible), what would a redeemed Egghog Sonic look like? How drastically would his behavior and identity change, given he'd basically have to start from scratch with how viciously Eggman stunted him emotionally and mentally?

oh man oh man oh man when i first got this question it sparked so much inspiration i had to go downstairs and pace around for an hour

i usually am not a fan of AUs branching off of other AUs but... this was almost a thing! when i first started thinking about egghogs, i wasn't sure whether sonic would be doomed from the start or if he could somehow be strongarmed into changing. some of this comes from that era of the story where i was still figuring out how it would end... i just think it's interesting thinking about him being "redeemed". because he wouldn't start fighting for the side of good, he'd spend the rest of his life just trying to make sense of what happened to him.

one of the endings i came up with initially was him coming out of his triple-hyper form exhausted and injured. the intensity of his transformation collapsed eggman's lair around him. his brothers hustle over to help him and patch him up (despite him just trying to overwrite the universe). despite everything he's still family and they love him dearly. amy tries to walk over and help, but sonic growls at her animalistically, pupils pinning and ears flat on his head. it is a very clear nonverbal Don't Fucking Touch Me.

but she's the one with the first aid kit. so she has to kind of toss it over to the boys, and sonic seems incredibly apprehensive about accepting any help from amy, direct or indirect. he's wary of the supplies, but in his condition, he has no choice but to let his brothers patch him up with the enemy's gauze. they end up hauling him over to tails' place, and he is NOT happy about it. he says to amy directly that as soon as he gets the chance he is going to find her and kill her. shadow is like ok edgelord lets get you to the cot

i don't think sonic would start from scratch. he can't. he's been affected too deeply by his experiences. the process of him even accepting that eggman hurt him takes an agonizingly long time, and it's made worse by amy overstepping and trying to play therapist. she tells him over and over, your dad hurt you, you are traumatized, you've been abused, and he isn't in a place to hear that. it feels like accusations. it feels like she's telling him that he's wrong, his whole self, it's all wrong. it makes his anger flare up violently.

he thinks that he must have done something to deserve what eggman did, and even then, he can't accept that what eggman did was hurting him at all, let alone intended to hurt.

the bitterness of seeing his brothers thriving and happy without him feels even worse now that he's with them, experiencing what's been making them so happy. but he comes around, he starts participating in silly games and movie night and starts to sit down at dinner instead of hiding away to eat, and it's all to spend time with his bros.

they have to reintroduce him to other people slowly, like letting two cats sniff each other through a door and share meals on different sides of a grate. eating adjacent to amy or tails or knuckles or the chaotix, sitting safely between silver and shadow. playing split screen mario kart and letting tails watch. training together like old times, except they have to take turns with other members of the resistance. it breaks down sonic's tough shell little by little.

once sonic starts being (very cautiously) neutral instead of actively hostile, people start feeling more comfortable doing nice things for him. sending him memes, getting him surprise clown-related trinkets they know he'd love, maybe even getting him some new funky clothes because they thought of him. he doesn't know how to feel about this, doesn't know how to accept gestures like this, but shadow and silver have been through the same learning curve and help him through it. the strange feeling of belonging starts to grow stronger.

he starts to get more comfortable. he wasn't getting new hurts, but something was still making him ache.

i don't know what would do this, what would finally crack through that thick wall of self-protection and brainwashing, but there's a very sudden and abrupt realization that eggman hurt him. eggman was making him hurt. the thought of him made him upset. i imagine he would just cry. he would feel the weakest he's ever felt in his whole life, the most broken, the most small. maybe it's finally experiencing safety that makes him realize just how unsafe he was.

i truly don't think he'd be all gung-ho about being good. he'd just... i don't know. waste away in his room and feel Bad for a bunch of years. self-isolate to hell and back to avoid pain and thus cause his extroverted heart even more pain. then, i dunno, he'd run around and try to keep himself entertained, meet new people. but he wouldn't work to fix his mistakes like shadow and silver would; i don't think he'd ever take full responsibility for his actions. but he'd avoid being a fucked up little evil guy as to not hurt more people. and he would try his best not to think about his little "evil phase", put it out of mind. he's sonic. he suppresses, and he keeps barreling forward.

i think the best anyone could hope for is him just running around and seeing the world and going to carnivals and jumping out of planes and eating a bunch of food. not doing good, not saving people. just thrill seeking and self fulfillment without the violence or industrial expansion. he'd never fully emotionally mature, but he'd at least be happy and mostly harmless.

too bad that's not how he actually turns out.