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usetheeauthor · 2 years

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The Nightmare on Hawkins Street +18 (Request)

Dom!Vecna x Dark!Virgin!Fem!Reader

A/N: Hey this is a request I took from a friend who loves the idea of Vecna as I do so I decided to write this. I made Vecna a kind of hybrid of Peter and Vecna so that it’s still has that monsterfucking aspect along with some human properties as i do not know Vecna’s full anatomy (also i just love jaime’s face)☺️ This will be like a diary entries of an anthropologist who slowly descends into a path of darkness.The diary will be first person but after it’ll be second point of view. Also I use the words “vines” and “tentacles interchangeably. Part 2

Summary: Banished to the world that has now became “The Upside Down”, Peter/Vecna marks his first victim an anthropologist with morbid curiosity. But when she shares his same philosophy, he finds himself wanting her by his side.

Word Count: 2.9k+

Warnings: mention of murder(s), morally ambiguous reader, loss of virginity, blood kink, use of tentacles (sexual), anal sex, choking, pain kink, spanking, vaginal penetration, corruption kink, spit as lube, degradation kink, doggystyle, drooling, tummy bulge, breeding kink, creampie, uses of names like “sir”, “master”, “king”, cum eating

June 16, 1983

Dear Diary,

I’ve seen him again today. Vecna. That’s what I call the monster that haunts my dreams. I’d accidentally fallen asleep from exhaustion for a split second and next thing I knew I was back in his lair. Whenever I’d close my eyes, he’d be behind them. Waiting. I’ve fought to stay awake ever since. He’s threatened to show me my “true nature” or so he puts it. Somehow knowing my true self scares me. I know I’m not like other my age. I’ve always had a fascination for things that are strange which only increased the moment I saw him.

Vecna looks pained. Like someone’s hurt him in the past. I found myself wanting to know who could have hurt monster like him. Yet from what I understood he was once man. A man who had his on motivations and his own ideals that were slowly ripped from him and banished from human society. Now he was a former shell of himself. Part man, part other worldly being seeking revenge and power. It’s like I could feel his every emotion. Like I know his story. I dare say that I sympathize with the entity.

June 20, 1983

Dear Diary,

I’d managed to close my eyes again. I don’t fear being dragged into his reality. I’ve embrace it. I’m still alive. I assume there must be some reason why he wants me alive. Maybe I could find him. Any chance I’d get to be in his world, I would commit every detail of the strange dimension, The Upside Down, to memory. I’d draw the details and displayed them on my wall. I’d stay up late nights going down a rabbit hole researching and looking into random experiments done in Hawkins hoping it’d mean I’d find him soon. I think he’s finally taken ahold of my mind. I welcome him.

June 30, 1983

Dear Diary,

Strange things are frequently happening in Hawkins. Murders, people disappearing, sightings of cryptid creatures. I know it’s him. He’s getting powerful. I could feel him getting powerful. It…excited me. I’ve never been so interested in learning about a person’s life the way I do now. To think that a human could be so powerful? Would be considered human at all since he’d been born with these gifts? I’d like to think that he could feel me, too. That he understood my devotion to him. That I’d only ran away and kept myself from sleeping because I was scared to know who I really am. But he’s shown me that gradually over time.

None of the research I’ve done in university could ever match what his existence. I want to know him now more than anything.

July 1, 1983

There it was in front of you. A gate to The Upside Down beckoning you to enter. It’s a hidden hole in a tree surrounded by a wet sac. You enter not even thinking of the consequences. This will be the first time you’ll get to see him physically so consequences be damned. You break through the slimy barrier. The cold wetness of the unidentifiable substance coating you and your scantily clad red dress.

Once you made it through, an immediate chill goes down your spine. You know he’s close. You explore the grounds, taking note of every sight. It looked just like your worlds except dark. You speculated that through this shadow world this was how he accessed his victims.

You walked through the streets searching for the street where your home lies. Not surprisingly, your home was in fact there. You walked through the doors. The atmosphere eerily still. Looking around, it’s like nothing changed. You notice a light under the door frame of your room upstairs. It grew bright. Tiptoeing up the steps, the floorboards creek underneath your bare feet. Your heart racing.

Once you’ve reached the room, you lower yourself down attempting to look under the door frame. No movement, just blinding light. You stand up, grip the knob, take a breath, and then slowly turn it. The light flickers as you walk through the room.

You notice your diary rested on your bed. You pick it up, flipping through it’s pages. It’s all of the entries you’ve written since the beginning of his mark on you. It’s practically duplicate.

Suddenly, the air shifts and you were sure you were alone anymore. Wet, heavy footsteps thumped against the floorboards. You don’t dare to turn to look. Even as the slick appendage wrapped around your neck, you remained still. You hear his rumbling growl.

“Y/N.” He says, turning you slowly to look at him. His voice, an overlay of a growling beast mix with a hint of his original innocent voice. His facial features part man, part creature. You could tell he was handsome with enticing lips and bright blue eyes. The other part of him was of this strange world. Dark, wrinkled wet skin almost reptilian and flesh in texture. He donned white clothes that had been torn and darkenedfrom what appeared to look as if he were struck by lightning. Several tentacles extended out and around him like extra limbs. Both sides of him were gorgeous and you could feel yourself weak at the knees at this discovery.

“My king.” You moaned.

He looked as if he was psychoanalyzing you in his head, trying to pick you apart. Were you here to serve him? The answer was yes. You were his to use. You spent years wanting to figure out the nuances of humanity and once you realized it, it only made you want to seek something new. Exciting. Morally corrupt. He was exactly who you needed.

“King?” He questions with a head tilt, releasing his grip from your neck.

You take this as an opportunity to show your worth to him. You fall to your knees, bowing your head and hands flat on the ground. You look up at him with admiration. “I understand. I know what you feel and how you think. For years, I’ve studied humanity. I’ve seen the things we’re all capable of. We are not perfect. We are destructive, cruel, irredeemable. That is why I give myself to you and will hang on every word you say. I want you to teach me to be in your light. To serve by your side and fulfill your every wish. I want to be perfect for you. Please claim my body as yours to use however you like.”

He takes a step closer to you, tilting your chin up with an elongated finger. “Such a needy little thing you are. Typical of you humans. Always wanting regardless of if it’s bad for you,” He pulls his cock from his confines. It’s hard and the tip leaking precum. It was large in length smooth, slimy, reptilian skin but appeared like the average male anatomy. “Go on. Show me how you’ll serve me.”

You take his harden member in your hand taking in its beauty. You’d never seen a man like him. You settled with the idea that he would be the one to take you precious flower. He was worthy of corrupting the purity you’ve tried to maintain.

You swirl your tongue around his tip, sucking hard. You earn a grunt from him. This makes you want to hear more. Lowering your mouth down to the base, you swallow around him. He looks so beautiful above you, watching you take his down your fragile throat. He couldn’t wait to rip you apart on his dick and show you how to be taken and trained properly.

A tentacle slithers between your legs. You spread them wider wanting to show your submission to him. He just under your panties. You could feel the slimy suction of the feeler caressing the inside of your thigh. It light goosebumps against your skin at its texture. You gag around him, taking him deeper and deeper.

“Mm, you’re so greedy for me. I’m sure you wouldn’t care that I’ve killed before. Your life could be in danger right now and yet you still lust for cock. You’re such a greedy, fucking whore.” He slaps a tendril-like limb against your ass hard, the wetness causing the contact to sting even more. You choke against him.

The limb between your leg teases your clothed pussy before pushing the soft cotton of your underwear to the side. He flicks your clit back and forth, the suctions on the vine catching it over and over.

Your eyes roll back. “Thank you, sir.” You mewled, stroking his cock while you moaned out and ground against the thick appendage.

He pulls you by your hair and yanks your mouth back onto him. “Did I tell you to stop? Now I’m going to rut into your throat until it’s raw.” Wrapping two tentacles around your hair like pigtails, he drives your mouth down his length over and over. You’re forced to continue to breathe through your nose. His hips moving into your mouth so rough you could feel him in your esophagus. The limb playing with your clit rubbing harder against you. It was borderline painful.

“Look at how wet you are,” He pulls himself from between your legs even with the wet texture of his skin, you can evidently see your creamy slick against the dark blue tendril. “You enjoy being treated so poorly. I can let all my frustrations on you and you’d take it.” He pulls your mouth off him by your hair. Groaning when he sees the lines of saliva connecting his cock to your tongue, break off and drip down you chin and chest.

“Yes, master. I love to be used and ruined by you.” You say with a gasp. He shoves himself down your throat once again while thrusting the vine inside you. You cry out. You hadn’t expected penetration so suddenly. He was just at the barrier if he thrusted further you’d officially be his.

“Sit.” He commands you.

You adjust yourself, shifting at the knee so that you could take him deeper. You’re mouth yanking away from his cock once more. The barrier is finally broken and you stutter out a groan. “F-fuck!”

He maneuvers in and out of your quivering pussy, groaning at its tightness. You look down between your legs watching the extender inside you. There was blood trickling down your thighs. He was fascinated by the sight, pulling himself out of you and tasting the salty, warm liquid. His eyes glimmer with a newfound interest.

He tears off your dress and panties from you in one swift tug, your body completely bare. You instinctively cover your breasts. He couldn’t help but notice how innocent you looked under him. Like a little lamb put up for the slaughter. But you had offered yourself to him. You asked for this. So how innocent were you really?

He rips your hands away. “Do not hide yourself, little one. You belong to me.” His vine coils around your neck lifting you off your feet and slamming you against the bed. You were like a rag doll in his grasp, biting your lip at the feeling of being manhandled. You’re flipped over, forced on your hands and knees. You can hear him fumbling with his clothes. You peep over your shoulder to witness his full body which also bore resemblance of that of man and creature.

“You’re so beautiful, master. I can’t wait to have you against.” You moaned, rolling your hips in anticipation.

He smacks your ass once again then entwining an extended limb around your waist and pulling you against him. He plunges himself deep into your walls, bottoming out in one swift move. You wail, gripping the sheets in front of you. He forces your face down into the mattress while your ass remained high in the air. It was angled just in the right position for him to pummel into your wetness over and over. His grunts above you mixing in with your whines.

“So fucking tight. I’ll ruin this cunt so that no other man can have you.” He growls, smacking your ass once more. You can feel the extenders slithering all over your body caressing every part of your skin and tweaking your nipples. The suctions on them lighting goosebumps against your skin. He spits at your puckered hole rubbing a thumb at the entrance then you recognize the familiar slimy, wiggling of the tentacle penetrating your anal cavity.

He thrusts in and out of it in time with his hardness driving into your pussy. You rise up on all fours again, your tongue sticking out, panting and drooling at the pressure of being filled in both holes. “Holy fuck! Yes, yes, yes. Just like that.”

He mercilessly pounds into you, pulling you closer to him so that your back was flushed against his chest. “This is your role now. You are to take everything I give you. Everything. You’ll serve as my queen. Never to question me. Do you understand?” He whispered into your ear. He sounded so fucking sexy. His voice strained from the moans he held back so that he could speak his commands explicitly.

“Yes, master. Yes, my king. I will take it all.” I throw it back against his cock and the tentacle. They stretched both holes with a mix of pain and pleasure. You want to prove to him you can handle it with ease.

“You’re such a fucking whore. You’ve come here searching for trouble. You beg for me to take you. Then you sacrifice your whole life up there just for a taste of my cock. You’re despicable.” He smacks your ass.

“I’m filthy, sir. A fucking degenerate. I want to be whatever you want me to be. I want you to mold my whole world into your liking.” He pounds harder and it’s as if he’s got even more inches of himself to give to you.

You can feel him sloshing around inside, knocking at your insides and forming a bulge at your belly. You press it causing the two of you to hiss at the action. He swivels his hips making certain that he hits every square inch of you. His length nudges at the small, fleshy button inside you repeatedly. It felt as if he’d touched that part of you from both entrances, the tentacle flicking inside you back and forth.

Your drawn out groans are now, short gasps of air. “I’m gonna fucking cum. You’re so amazing, master!”

He rubs at your clit, the suctions pulling at your clit. You were beginning to feel delirious at this point. It was all so much and you knew that you’d finally lost any sense of sanity, you once had. A wave of bliss takes over you and you can feel yourself gushing, the evidence of your arousal dripping down your inner thighs and his cock.

“Mmm,” He moans, witnessing your creamy slick and blood make a mess of your lower bodies. He pumps sloppy, long strokes into your pussy. “Would you like to be filled to the brim, hmm? Make you drip with my cum.”

“Please fuck your babies into me. I wanna be round and full and take all of it inside. I don’t want to waste a single drop,” You fucked back against him faster, ruining his pace. You were set on him cumming in you and you could feel another orgasm beginning to bubble in the pit of your stomach. “Hurt me, master. Just the way you like. I know it’s what you need to cum. I’ve studied you. All so that I know how to please you. Please hurt me.”

That was all the encouragement he needed. He knew you could take the pain. His thrusts returned to the same force that crossed the line between pain and pleasure. He bites at your shoulder, choking you simultaneously. Your air supply had been cut off; you were getting dizzy. Your orgasm was approaching soon and you crawled at the tentacle that constricted your throat. He pounds into your sweet spot once again and a cry rips from his chest and you both tremble against one another. You both arrived at the same time. You felt as if you were dying the orgasm that shook through you so powerful, your wetness shot out like a sprinkler, wetting the bed.

His cum is hot as it paints your walls white inside you. He continues his thrusts to the point of overstimulation wanting to make sure his essence remained deep inside you. Vecna lets go of your body and you immediately collapse against the mattress. Your face down and ass still in the air as you heaved for air. He stares down at your quaking core which had been coated with a mixture of your blood and juices as well as his cum that began to seep out. He takes a finger gathering it and you turned your head to the side to face him, sticking your tongue out. He runs his finger back and forth against your tongue until you clasp a finger around it and sucked.

He removes his finger, patting and rubbing you on the head. You accept the warm embrace, nuzzles your head into his hand. “I knew you’d be the perfect queen. You understand.”

“Yes, my king. I’ve always known I was meant to serve you. I don’t care if you hurt others. You do it because you want you humanity to be better and recognize its deplorability.”

“You wouldn’t turn against me if I were to ask you to carry out an important mission?”

“No, sir,” You sit up, resting your butt on the bottoms of your feet. “I will do anything you say. I meant every word.”

“Then, there is someone whom I need you to bring to me?”

“Who?”

“Bring me the girl, Eleven. Alive.”

Tag: @stygianoir

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usetheeauthor · 2 years

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Where Do We Go From Here? (Angst/Fluff)

Peter Ballard x Fem!Reader

A/N: This is vaguely AU. No mentions of Peter’s powers or anything Stranger Things related but I still tried to emulate Peter’s persona. I loved this concept so I hope I did it justice for you @feitansemoslut 🤞 Enjoy!

Summary: After witnessing Peter cheat on you with no remorse, you call off the relationship and question whether you ever meant anything to him in the first place. Turns out…you meant everything.

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warnings: cheating, cursing, heartbreak, breaking up and breaking things, hurt!reader, peter being a dick, crying, periods of sadness, pining, feelings of regret, mentions of alcohol consumption and intoxication, ambiguous ending, kissing, hugging

You could hear the sound of your heartbreaking over the moans ripping through the air. A feeling of despair washing over you. As if your shaky legs were on autopilot, you descended further down the hallway knowing exactly the reality you’ll face.

For reference, you decided to stop by Peter’s job wanting to surprise him with lunch. He’d been so busy with work and you, with university and work, that there was hardly any time you got to spend with one another. When a coworker pointed out that not only they hadn’t known Peter to have girlfriend but that he was popular amongst his female colleagues, you brushed it off. You assumed it was just coworkers being messy…until you made your way down that goddamn hall. You knew the way he sounded in throes of pleasure. It was no doubt that it’s him behind that office door.

You placed your hands on the knob, turning it ever so slowly and hearing the click. Launching the door away from your body as if it were contagious, it swings open and hits the wall with a loud boom. Peter jumps at the sound; his head whipping around to where you stood in the doorway. Your tear-filled eyes taking in what little you could see through them. You’d caught him in the middle of getting a blowjob by some random woman. Her, on her knees with her lipstick smeared over her cheeks, smirking up at you as if she’d won some fucking prize. Him, sitting there in his office chair with his pants pooled around his ankles.

Your stomach churns and you begin to dry heave. The pain of your heartbreak physically making you sick. You weren’t sure how you managed to speak but you swallowed the hard lump in your throat, breaking the silence. “P-peter…how…why!” Your mind so foggy that you could only speak incoherent sentences.

You expected fear, sadness—hell, anger even. What you didn’t expect was for him to look at you as if you’d bored him. As if he couldn’t care less about how much he’d broke you.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, nonchalantly.

“What am I doing here?!” You asked him, incredulously. “What am I doing here?! How about ‘What the fuck are you doing’ and ‘Who the fuck is this bitch’!” You knew your were being loud but you didn’t care who heard. In fact, you wanted the whole office to hear this. You wanted him humiliated and exposed.

He stands up from his seat, pulling up his pants. He sighs. “Would you please stop yelling? Let me explain. This is all—”

“There’s nothing to explain! You had your dick down some girl’s throat and now you’re trying to explain yourself?! You’re hurting me and it’s like you don’t even care,” Your lips quivered as a flood of tears stream down your face. “You’re throwing away 5 whole years together. The whole time all I thought about—all I wanted was to be closer to you. For us to spend time together because I felt us distancing. And you take the opportunity to cheat on me instead of working things out with me.”

“We were distant only because I wanted it to be that way. I just don’t see us having a future together. You’ve got your shit and I have mine and I just couldn’t care anymore to try and hold on to this. You’re a great but I feel nothing when I’m with you. I wanted to let you down easy.”

His words struck you. He took the proverbial knife in your heart jabbing it further and twisting. You could scream. You could breakdown on your knees. Instead, you gave a hysterical dry laugh. “This is ‘letting me down easy’?! Here’s what I think of that.”

A fiery rage comes over you. You yank the bulky telephone resting on his desk, smashing it to the ground; pieces of plastic and buttons flying everywhere.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He struts over to you, grabbing your wrists when you attempted to reach for another item to break.

“Let me go!” You stare intensely into his eyes.

“You’re acting like a child.”

You yank your hands away from him. “Don’t you ever touch me again!” You backed away slowly, staring at him as if he were a monster. He was a monster. How could someone see the anguish they’ve put their partner through and not bat an eye? You whisper in a biting tone. “I’m going home. I’m gonna pack ALL of my things. You’ll never fucking hear or see from me again. We’re over.”

You glare at the girl who had been standing silently in the corner still scared by your sudden burst of rage. You smirk. “I hope you got what you wanted. It’s too bad he’ll just throw you away, though.”

Gathering up the little strength you had, you look the him in the eyes one last time. “Fuck. You. Peter.” You walked out with your head held high, knowing you’d be a mess once you left the building. Nosy coworkers eavesdropped hiding behind the wall in the hallway scrambled away when you walked by.

Each step closer out the door felt like you were going to die. You wanted to back in there and continue to give him a piece of your mind. You wanted to cry and ask him ‘why he did this’ and ‘what could you have done to make him feel the need to cheat’. You knew it wasn’t your fault but you couldn’t help it. Even through all this pain, you still wanted him. If he’d shown any remorse at all, you would have taken him back. You would have worked it out because you love him and you knew at some point that he loved you, too.

“God, I’m so pathetic.” You thought to yourself. When you entered, your car you immediately had a breakdown. Crying, screaming, pulling your hair; scratching your scalp. You felt hopelessly lost at sea with no sense of direction. A cloudy storm masking your chances of finding shore. And yet you recklessly drive through blurry tears and shaky hands wanting to find your way despite how much it hurt to even breathe.

It was almost therapeutic, however, when you gathered all your things, loaded them into your car, and watched his apartment building through the rearview mirror slowly decreasing in size. Once a speck then nothing at all.

——

When Peter arrived home, he half-expected you to be there waiting for him. One incident didn’t seem enough for you to leave so suddenly. But once he turned the key, he knew he was sorely mistaken.

It felt empty. Sure, everything had been left the way it was but it didn’t feel the same. The warm and welcoming environment that you’d built had been tarnished. It was as if you’d never had your touch in his home at all reverting back to it’s cold, impersonal state.

Peter huffs. This clearly was just some ploy to make him grovel to his knees.

To him, this break up was needed. He needed the space to reevaluate his life and his goals and couldn’t seem to fit you in them. It wasn’t like he went out of his way to hurt you. It just…happened. Peter understood he wasn’t a saint and that he’s had times where he’s been a womanizer but he truly did care for you.

If the break up didn’t go the way it did. If you’d never walked in to see that, he would’ve handle it the right way. He’d wish you the best and it would’ve ended things cordially. But you’d ruined his plan when you decided to show up the moment his inhibitions were lowered by the temptress at his workplace. By that point, he was forced to tell you all his harsh feelings he’d bottled up.

It hasn’t yet settled for him that you were gone and that you meant what you said. The two of you have said some awful things to each other and made up the very next day. This was just one of those days to him. Maybe you couldn’t be together again but being friends wouldn’t be so bad.

But, boy, was he so far wrong from the truth.

——-

It was a week since he’d seen you and the toll it was taking on him was worse than he’d ever anticipated. Arbitrarily, he took up drinking. Something he hadn’t caught himself doing until he’d found himself blacked out in his empty bed, reaching for a presence that no longer exists.

You’d really took everything with you. And he’d found himself manically analyzing how it’d been possible for you to take his memories of you as well. So he would spend his nights forcing himself to remember you. In times where he willingly wished to forget, outside forces would solely remind him of his loss.

The sheets on his bed that he hadn’t washed because they still smelled like your apple-scented shampoo. The matching mugs that you’d bought for those cold nights when the two of you would stay in and drink hot cocoa, looking up at the stars from the balcony to talk about things that were once so meaningless to him. The one and only polaroid picture of you that he possesses and stares at constantly just to remember your smile. He contemplated getting rid of the photo at some point but rebelled the thought when he realize he could only remember the look on your face when he’d told you that he felt nothing for you.

Peter has never known a feeling like this. He believed himself above it all. Love, pleasure, fear, pain… it was all trivial. You’d made him into a man that he hadn’t recognized. That’s when the fear settled in. Then he began to question who he was in general because you’d made him see a new way of life and experience new emotions he’d attempted to omit from himself.

What was this feeling? The feeling that made his heart twinge when he’d heard a corny joke on TV and it reminded him of the things that made you laugh. Your laugh. If only he could hear it once more. What was this feeling where he’d jump at the sound of anything that remotely resembled your name?

It was evident to him now that he screwed up. There was no forgetting you. If he’d wished to, he’d lose a part of himself. A side he’s denied for so long but found through the guidance of your love. You were a half of him and you were also everything to him.

He’d drag his knees through broken glass to beg for your forgiveness and this would hurt less than being without you. It took you leaving for him to realize he can’t be without you and he’d hate himself for the rest of his life for realizing too late.

Better that he understood this now than later. Or you’d be gone for sure in the arms of someone new. That would of been the end for Peter.

——

You were trying. That was enough. Of course, it wasn’t easy but you’d only recently ended things with Peter. You allowed yourself those times to feel that sadness.

Peter knocked on your door nearly every day; days after the break up. He’d shout through the door about wanting to talk. You’d throw on your headphones and tune him. At times, you were only a few inches away from opening the door.

You were currently getting dressed; your friends planning a night out for you. You honestly wanted to stay home but you understood their intentions and accepted the invitation.

Then you hear a knock. You assumed that would be your friends, absentmindedly answering the door. To your dismay, it was the man who was the bane of your existence. He appeared as if he hadn’t slept in days; hair disheveled and dark circles under his eyes.

Just as you set out to shut the door in his face, he puts a strong hand against it, halting it in mid-swing.

“Y/N…”

“Leave.” You hissed.

“Please just hear me out.” He pushes himself inside your home, backing you into a wall with a foot distance between you two.

You feel tears beginning to prick the corners of your eye. “What could I possibly want to hear from you?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, you really are.” You scoffed.

He nods. “I deserve that. I am sorry. I fucked up. You came into my life and you make me better. And it scared me. I felt like I couldn’t understand myself. Being with you felt like it would’ve made me something I wouldn’t like.”

“I loved you,” You pulled the words from deep within your core; your voice breaking. “I loved you at your worse! I loved you in times when I couldn’t even love myself! I loved you even on the days when we’d fight and it felt like I hated you. I still fucking love you. And it’s pathetic and confusing. I never asked for you to change. I just asked for you to be true to me.”

“I understand that now. You gotta understand where I’m coming from. I’ve always had a hard time expressing how I feel. When I fell in too deep with you, I felt like I was sinking. I felt trapped.”

“Yeah, it’s called commitment issues. Something you’d know if you’d actually tried communicating that with me and not throat-banging some bitch.”

“I love you,” He drops to his knees, his hands pleading to you. “I came here not only to apologize but to tell you that. As much as I want you back in my life, I know that won’t happen any time soon. If ever at all. But I don’t want you leaving my life without me getting to tell you that again. If I should never see you then this is my confession so that you don’t ever have to doubt my feelings for you. I was stupid and I was so wrong. I can’t stop thinking about you. Then I come here and see you in that dress you know I like…” He rises to his feet, slowly. Peter rests his hand on your cheek, wiping away at a tear with his thumb. “I can’t let you go. The thought of you going out and someone else taking you from me…that shit drives me insane.”

“How do you think I felt when I saw her all over you? I wanted to hurt you and her. You make me fucking crazy.”

“I know. And I’ll do whatever I can to make sure to make I never hurt you again.” He angles your head up so that your lips were inches away from his. You look at him through half-lidded eyes, craving the contact.

“You can’t promise me that. It’s not any of your burden.” You whispered, lips softly scraping one another.

He doesn’t respond to your protests instead he plants his full lips against yours. His lips had been chapped probably from dehydration but you found the roughness adding to the pleasure of the kiss. You drew him into you, pulling at his dress shirt and digging you nails into the small of his back. He groans into the kiss.

He whispers sweet nothings against your life. You knew it was ridiculous but this was someone who you’ve had dreams of marriage with.

You push him away, mentally facepalming yourself. “I don’t know if I could ever trust you again. I can’t see us working things out if I can’t even trust you. But I love you so much and I can’t let go, too. Where do we begin? Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know.” He confesses. He wraps his arms around you, you warm into his embrace; his head nuzzling into your neck. “Please don’t let me go. I don’t want to lose you, too.”

You understood that Peter didn’t have a normal childhood and that he’d lost his family so you were all he had. But you, regardless of his trauma, your feelings mattered, too. If you couldn’t see yourself trusting him again, wouldn’t it be counterproductive to try and work things out?

Currently in his arms, it was a decision that you just couldn’t think to make so soon. Not when he held you in a way that made you feel like the first time you’d fallen in love.

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