#darika chokwithee

[planetkiimchi]

the hard choice | ready, set, love

featuring: day, almond, paper, son, valentine, chun (from thai drama “ready, set, love”)

word count: 1.4K words

warnings: spoilers for the drama (last episode), lots of angst.

summary — my take on the last episode of “ready, set, love” because i wish we knew what son was thinking at the end (and i really love them and can't let go yet).

"I'm not going."

Everyone stopped short in their tracks, gazes filled with questions that were too difficult to voice. Day stared at Almond, brows furrowed head cocked. Don't do this, her pleading gaze said.

Son didn't bother trying to dissuade Almond. He could see it in his brother's eyes—were they even brothers? For they were unrelated by blood, yet brought up together. Almond's jaw was dead set, but his eyes were filled with desperation. Don't make me choose, he implored Day.

Son fought the urge to cross his arms as he stared Almond down. Almond didn't spare him a single glance, but Valentine tugged on his arm, forcing him to look at her.

"Please come with us. I'm begging you."

"I... can't." Almond's voice broke, and Son saw the monster in him fighting desperately, the part of him that wanted to leave warring his his need to comply with the rules. Because even since they were kids, Almond had always been the law-abiding one, the oldest, the most responsible. The one who hated being late and always saw through their lies, who discouraged all of their rebellious acts.

Most people had a rebellious phase in their teenage years. Son definitely had had one, though not half as bad as Max’s. The latter had always felt the need to act up more than Son, always wanting to be the one in the spotlight. Butt it was difficult when the person he was fighting for attention with was the perfect, sought-after, dream son Son. Son was aware of Max’s attention-seeking tendencies, but he assumed that letting Max win would hurt his pride more than if he didn't win.

However, in all 28 years of his life—or at least the 25 of those years that Son had been alive for—Almond had never been rebellious. He was a follower of rules, and when he had agreed to Day's plan, Son had been rightfully suspicious.

"He's never been one to break the rules. He's the one that's the most likely to discourage us from breaking the law, yet he's choosing to join us now. Why?" Son had asked Day.

"Why do you have to be so pessimistic? Can’t you just be happy that your older brother is on our side?" Day had replied, and Son had dropped the subject.

Well, look at where that left them now; Valentine clinging onto Almond's sleeve while Day and Paper hovered near the door of the van.

"I know what you did." Valentine looked like she was about to cry, her eyes brimming with tears, but—admirably, if you asked Son—not a single drop slid down her cheek. "I know you told Jenny about our plan."

The look of betrayed hurt on Day's face gave Son the push he needed to speak. If Almond didn't want to go with them, that was his choice. Even if Valentine was upset, she was Day's friend, not Son's. He had no qualms about taking Paper and Day out and away from that hellhole if it meant leaving Almond behind. They were already leaving two brothers behind, what was one more? Son could live with that.

But betraying them all? Innocent, naïve Paper, who had initially refused to believe that his mother might have been forced to give him away to the Farm? Day, who'd never loved Almond the way he loved her, but had chosen him again and again, giving up her chance with Son so this plan of theirs could succeed? Valentine, who'd gotten shot and risked everything she had, just to get them all out, including Almond?

If Almond had betrayed all of them, Son would speak. For Paper and Day, who were too stunned to. To give a voice to the pain in their hearts.

"How could you betray us? I had my suspicions when you agreed, but I never thought you'd sell us out."

"Let's please just go, Val. Leave him," Day said, having regained her composure.

"No. I can't. Haven't you wondered why I refuse to leave Almond, even after knowing he betrayed us?" Valentine's voice cracked. "He's my brother." Turning to Almond, she continued, "So, please, come with us. Your mother is searching for you—she has been, for your entire life. Your mother wants to meet you. She's waiting for you. Our mother is waiting. Please, come with us."

Almond shook his head, almost like he was trying to convince himself that he couldn't possibly go. "No, I can't. The Farm is my home." With that one sentence, Almond shattered all the remaining, fragile hope Son had harboured in his heart, leaving nothing but shards of piercing hurt in its wake.

To Son, the Farm had always been a prison, the physical manifestation of the government that had stolen his parents from him. But to Almond, the Farm was a place of luxury, one that had provided for all his needs, the home in which he had gown up. It would be cruel to force him to go; but it would be crueller to make the rest of them stay.

Day wrapped her arm around Valentine. "He's made his choice, Val. We have to go." As she turned, sorrowful eyes meeting Almond's, Son realised that maybe he was the reason Almond didn't want to come. He might not want to come just for his brothers, but if Day had chosen him instead, it might just be enough to make him go. Perhaps the knowledge that the girl he liked was in love with his brother was too heavy a truth for Almond to face every waking second.

Yet, no matter what consequences it entailed, Son would choose Day, every time, over and over again. Perhaps it was selfish of him. But he had grown up in a space where he had to fight for what he wanted, and he definitely wanted Day.

He'd like to believe Day wanted him too.

Paper climbed into the van, Valentine following behind and collapsing in the seat beside him. The tears had long since flowed past the barriers of her eyelids, streaming silently down her face.

Son was the last one into the van. Moments before he shut the door, he turned to see Almond, meeting those gentle eyes that had accompanied him for practically his entire life. In a fit of spite, he slammed the doors in Almond's face, looking away. He never wanted to see his brother again.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Paper whispered, staring blankly past Day.

It really wasn't. Not when Almond had always been the best big brother there was, the one who comforted them when they were down, who had taught Max how to cook and read Son stories so he could sleep at night. Not when Almond and Jin were close, so close people sometimes forgot they weren't biologically related. Not when Almond was the only one there for Paper when he was distraught hearing about how corrupt the government really was. Steady, mature, responsible Almond. It was never supposed to end like that.

"Tell me, Chun, if he doesn't come, then is everything I've done in vain?" Valentine asked. It was a question Son would never have been able to answer.

"He made his choice, Val. You can't decide for him. You did what you could." If those words had come from Son, they wouldn't have been half as comforting as they were coming from Chun. But when Chun said it in his gentle, matter-of-fact tone, Valentine seemed to accept it, sniffing softly.

Son looked at his brother, and his other brother's biological sister. The best friend of the girl he loved. And, of course, Day. All of them, broken shells of people who'd just had a part of them ripped out and left behind, just because Almond couldn't bear to leave. People who had been willing to make sacrifices to escape, but not losing Almond. Not that, on top of everything else.

And now, Son's girls—for he had come to think of Valentine as his as well, by some odd familial extension—and his brother were right in front of him, hurting. Because of one selfish choice Almond had made.

Son promised that regardless of what was to come, he would never leave them like that. He could never.

In his heart, he swore it on his life.