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deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/12/2020 (LadBaby, Boris Johnson, Ed Sheeran)

It’s Boxing Day in the UK as I write this and I’m pretty tired but we still have to review those charts regardless, especially this chart as this is the Christmas chart – at least it’s being paraded around as such – and hence we have a Christmas #1. For the third year in a row, family vlogger, pseudo-comedian and amateur musician, not to be confused with DaBaby, Mark Ian Hoyle – more commonly known as “LadBaby”, has bagged the #1 for the holiday season. Every time I’ve covered the Christmas #1 it has been this guy and, yeah, I’m tired of it. At least this year he felt some stiff competition, and hey, the songs’ proceeds do go to charity. Oh, yeah, and this guy is the third act to have three Christmas #1s in a row, putting this nobody from Nottingham with a barebones Wikipedia page and a couple million YouTube subscribers on the level of the Beatles and Spice Girls. God, the UK Singles Chart never fails to amaze me. Anyway, that’s arguably not even the biggest story here so let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As I said before, this is the “Christmas week” so throughout the UK Top 75 there are a lot of holiday songs re-peaking or reaching new peaks, before dropping off entirely the next week. Let’s start as we always do by listing the drop-outs from the chart, of which there are quite a few notable ones. Most of our top 40 debuts from last week are gone, like Taylor Swift’s “champagne problems” and “no body, no crime” featuring HAIM, as well as “Show Out” by Kid Cudi, the late Pop Smoke and Skepta. We can also say goodbye to “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee, finally after 54 weeks and a surprise return earlier this month, in addition to other top 10 hits like “you broke me first” by Tate McRae, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio and “What You Know Bout Love” also by Pop Smoke, as well as some more minor hits like “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles and “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, but I can see almost all of these rebounding hard next week so I don’t think there’s much to worry about here. For fallers, since Christmas has really consumed everything about this chart this week, we have some big ones that’ll find themselves back in the top 10 or at least top 20 next week like “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19 (the first non-Christmas non-debut song to appear on the chart, by the way), “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix at #20, “Whoopty” by CJ at #22, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #28, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #31, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa at #35 alongside “Midnight Sky” also by Miley at #36, “willow” by Taylor Swift off the debut to #37, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #38 and “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy. We also have “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #43, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #45, even “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X at #49, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #54, “Loading” by Central Cee at #59, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #60, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #64, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #66, “Dynamite” by BTS at #67, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #72, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa with the biggest fall down to #73 and finally “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #74. To put the dominance of holiday music on the charts in perspective, if we take the songs that are not either explicitly Christmas-related or a clear Christmas #1 campaign (i.e. LadBaby), the song at #38 would be at #10 and our #1 would be “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19. “Whoopty” by CJ, that entered the top 10 last week and dropped to #22 this week, would be at #3. There are 11 songs in the top 40 that never made an effort to take advantage of the holiday season. When we get into some of our debuts, it’ll be even clearer how big Christmas is in British pop music. Anyway, let’s skim through our gains and returning entries, most of which are Christmas or Christmas-related. For returning entries, we have the comically awful “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud at #71, last year’s scam attempt at a Christmas #1, “River” by Ellie Goulding at #69, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole at #63 (which I’d appreciate more in the top 20 like it is in the US every year – this is a classic), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders at #62 (again, incredible song that deserves a higher holiday peak each year), “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love at #58, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #55, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #53 and for whatever reason, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper at #41. In terms of notable gains – and I stress notable, since a lot of higher-up Christmas songs had small gains but still good performance - we have “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #56, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #52, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Brett Eldredge and Meghan Trainor at #51, “Forever Young” by Becky Hill at #50 (both off of the debut), “Baby it’s Cold Outside” AGAIN by Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel at #47, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #46, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano at #44, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #42, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” AGAIN by Dean Martin at #39, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #34, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #33, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #32, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms at #27, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #26, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #25, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher at #24 (thanks to a Christmas #1 campaign that crashed and failed), “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #23, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #21, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #17, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #15, and finally, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber illegitimately notching a spot in the top 10 at #8. Finally, we can get onto the new arrivals, although something about this next one tells me that we won’t be in line for anything all that good.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “I’ll be Home” – Meghan Trainor

Produced by Meghan Trainor

...for Christmas. She’ll be home for Christmas. I guess she just can’t finish sentences, even though her cover art has the full title. Anyway, this is a 2014 original Christmas song that went nowhere except Sweden. It’s not anything like the Bing Crosby and wasn’t nearly as successful, mostly because it’s a jingly, inoffensive ballad tacked onto a silly Christmas EP that also features Fifth Harmony and Fiona Apple of all people – who probably should have charted her track instead – as well as the deluxe edition of that debut record Title that nobody liked. At least in this, she’s not going for a faux-retro style, or at least one that I can find the inspiration for, and is just singing over this oddly jaunty piano melody – which sounds pretty albeit bland – as well as some swells of strings and acoustic guitar that do work sonically. The content implies that Meghan Trainor is in contact with Santa Claus personally, and that he gave her the advice to be home with her lover this Christmas and... that’s why this charted, isn’t it? Well, it’s not her fault – it’s not a “stuck with u” moment, but it is dodgy that she decided to put this on her own Christmas record that was released in October of this year, which can’t seem unintentional. I’d be lying to say this isn’t a pretty little tune from Trainor and her voice does fit this instrumental, but a jazzy rendition from someone with a deeper, smoother voice, would work wonders with the content. Oh, and that Christmas record features guest appearances from both Earth, Wind & Fire and Seth MacFarlane, as well as her dad, because, you know, sure, 2020.

#65 – “Gnat” – Eminem

Produced by d.a. got that dope

I can’t tell if I’m underestimating Christmas or overestimating Eminem when I say I expected an album bomb – or whatever that equivalent would be in the UK and our land of silly chart rules – from the deluxe edition of his pretty damn terrible album, Music to be Murdered By. This 3/10 trainwreck consists of two hours I’ll never get back of either great beats wasted by Eminem’s corny, stiff flows and painfully unlikeable delivery or obnoxious, unlistenable beats that are dated enough for Eminem to start going on his Relapse “killing women in funny accents” shtick, which was awful then and even worse now when he tries to replicate it. Marshall, you’re 48, and I know that you’re just “messing around” but if you’re going to treat the album as a cinematic masterpiece within the album and its thematic Alfred Hitchcock interludes, you have to understand that the audience will see it as that way as well, so you having fun and being painfully unfunny in the process over cutting-room-floor trap instrumentals cannot slide. At least Kamikaze had some genuine anger and dare I say some actual balls in how it tackled controversy and dissed everyone he could think of off the top of his head. The last record was angry and bitter, this one’s just tired and lazy, and that’s before we get into some of the ugliest bars, instrumentals and cadences Slim Shady’s ever put on record, which is especially present on “Gnat”, a lightweight trap banger with some acoustic guitars not dissimilar to those that would appear on a Lil Baby mixtape, complete with questionable bass mixing and really bad hooks. On the verses, he sends a death threat to Mike Pence, but on the chorus, his bars are “like COVID” because “you get them right off the bat”. I don’t know about you, but in 2020, I don’t want to hear Eminem harmonising with producer tags, making topical and insensitive pandemic references, or spitting sex bars with coughing ad-libs. Before the beat switch, his flows are some of the sloppiest and drawn-out he’s ever used, and yes, I’ll admit, that second beat is a lot better and Em kills it over that instrumental – but only for a brief moment before we have a third beat, which Eminem is pretty great over, especially with that sax and sweet piano keys overlaid with hard 808s and Eminem’s rapid-pace, quick fire flow... and then he raps the chorus again and I want the song to end as quickly as it started – thankfully, it does end rather abruptly. Just wasted potential all throughout – if that beat switch and flow was a guest verse on damn near anyone else’s record (Em has made tracks with Don Toliver of all people, and he could work), this could be great. For now, Em, you know Kris Kristofferson? I think you should Piss Pissofferson. Forever. Look that up, by the way, that’s a lyric on the record because of course it is.

#61 – “In the Bleak Midwinter” – Jamie Cullum

Produced by ???

I had only briefly heard the name “Jamie Cullum” before this, but he is an English jazz-pop singer and pianist who’s basically useless and uninteresting but, hey, at least he has a radio show on BBC Radio 2. Sure, I mean that might have been the reason that Amazon Music picked him up for an exclusive project for which this is the biggest single. It’s not on Spotify, it’s not even on Genius, and it’s barely on YouTube but since it is, I should tell you that this is his first charting single since 2009 and it’s a remarkably uninteresting rendition of a Christmas carol done a lot better by Jacob Collier – and that one’s on Spotify – so yeah, your sleepy piano arrangement and tone that makes you sound like Robbie Williams half the time and Beck the other, doesn’t interest me. Goodbye.

#30 – “Afterglow” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by PARISI, Fred Again and Ed Sheeran

If we inexplicably remove everything Christmas-related on the chart, Eminem’s “Gnat” would have debuted at #20, and this new track from Ed Sheeran, already stunted from being released on an unconventional day, would have hit #5. Regardless of chart position, Ed Sheeran’s back with his first solo single since Divide. Yes, I’m purposefully ignoring that collaborative project he put out in 2019 because as far as I know, it doesn’t exist. At the end of the year, when things are looking as if he could start touring again, Sheeran predictably releases his lead-off single. This song in particular is a heartfelt ballad from Ed to his wife, who he wishes to be there forever and even if they aren’t together at any moment, whether he’s touring or they separate for whatever reason, he’ll “hold on to the afterglow”. I won’t lie, it’s a really sweet and convincingly sold love song from Ed, even if it’s not anything new, it does feel like a different approach since he’s a newly-wed man now. Although I’m not a fan of this somewhat muddy mixing that somehow messes up just a guy and his acoustic guitar, making what should be a really pretty, ethereal and mellow track sound almost ugly, which doesn’t flatter Ed and his limited delivery at all, especially when he starts getting multi-tracked in the second verse and whooshing sound effects of strings pop up in the mix, and, yeah, it just sounds cheap and gross at this point, which is really a waste of incredible content and a great performance from Ed, who sells everything as well as he can. I understand how this is supposed to be down to Earth, so a perfect mix wouldn’t make sense, but if you’re going to make him harmonise with his own background vocals and even show signs of belting, give him some more grandiosity and go full out instead of restraining him so that it just sounds jarring. With a different mix this could be one of Ed’s best tracks since the melodies are on point, the song feels really heart-warming and sincere, especially coming from Ed to his wife, but we won’t get a remaster anytime soon, I imagine, so for now this is just pretty damn good. I love the cover art as well, painted by Ed himself, and released alongside the single as a bit of a Christmas gift to fans, as well as the start of what I’m pretty sure will be a promo cycle. If this is a good peek into what that album will sound like, it’s safe to say I’m more than excited than ever to hear from Ed Sheeran.

#5 – “Boris Johnson is a Fricking Jerk” – Kool & the Gang

Produced by ???

Okay, so the song’s calling Boris Johnson something stronger than a “fricking jerk”, and the song is decidedly not by soul legends Kool & the Gang, although I’d love for that to happen sometime. This is a family show, of course, so we have to take some liberties. This track originates from a comedian from Basildon, Essex of all places, and whilst we don’t know his name, the songwriting credit on Spotify is given to contemporary British poet Wayne Clements so maybe he’s behind this, who knows? Whether he is or not, I can tell you the history behind this comedian’s music, as he has been making crude short singles about controversial topics in British society and politics for a while, including some about Nick Clegg that charted, although never higher than #63. He retired in 2016 but after writing an autobiography, the guy’s back and he released a compilation of punk rock tracks, all of which are small and profane, with a “band” of puppets that I also can’t name. State-controlled Russian television networks – because, sure, again, it’s 2020 – say that he will start touring in 2021, mostly because he’s finally reached that mainstream audience with this family-friendly tune about Boris Johnson. Here’s how Vick Hope and Katie Thistleton introduced it live on air during the mid-week chart reveal.

Now at #19, we've got a track about Boris Johnson that has so many bad words in it, we can't play it on daytime Radio 1.

Ah, you cowards. Wait... Anyway, I’m pretty happy that the British public can stick it to Boris and the heartless Tories that follow him and currently rule the country, even if it is all a bloody stupid joke from an anonymous punk rocker. We can dig into Boris for his failures on Brexit, mishandling of the pandemic, disgraceful reality-star-esque personal life, that he wasn’t even born in the UK yet is basically a nationalist, his history of Islamophobic commentary, his crap excuses for journalism back in the 2000s or even his clown-nose, blonde bowl-cut “hair style” he adopts whilst addressing us on live television feeding us lies and misleading statements that turn into retcons the next time he has to address the nation, whether it be on Brexit or COVID-19 tiers and regulations, both of which are a confusing mess to both sides of Europe that exist to drift us away from where we should be going as a nation, and further into the realm of political party tribalism that we know absolutely does not work in the States and that we mock the Yanks for. We’re more than the sick man of Europe, we are the America of Europe. I guess you could say Ireland is our Canada, but we don’t even have a Mexico to make us look better, we just have other western, central and northern European countries that may be flawed but are far ahead of whatever the hell this shell of a union is in 2020, less than 80 years after the creation of our National Health Service. People will look to pundits and newsreaders like Piers Morgan, entertainers like Phillip Schofield, war veterans and charity-givers like Captain Tom Moore, and even politicians like Boris Johnson, as the “heroes” of Britain’s 2020 but it’s increasingly clear that absolutely no-one is a hero, and it’s the people’s right to be upset. Hence, nearly exactly a year after Boris Johnson cheated his way into power by smear campaigns and elitism, we have this song debuting at #5. Unfortunately, the song doesn’t go into any of that. It just repeats the title in an anthemic – and considerably agreeable – refrain that is an undeniable punk hook. The riffs and guitar work here isn’t of any interest, but the guy’s delivery is powerful and furious, so I’ll give the song credit: it’s not just correct but it’s really good, especially for a one minute runtime. He also released some satirical MIDI-level synth-pop remix with gross Christmas sleigh bells and hi-hat skitters, because, say it with me, it’s 2020. I wouldn’t recommend the album though, it overstays its welcome by the time you get to “Jesus Died of a Stranglewank”.

#1 – “Don’t Stop Me Eatin’” – LadBaby

Produced by who cares?

I can’t get mad at this lazy “parody” of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” about sausage rolls, or even its Ronan Keating remix, which is LadBaby doing a favour to Ronan Keating, if anything. Sure, my blood boils with the idea that this incompetent Internet personality from the East Midlands – which I think I’m sadly also able to describe myself as – got the #1 over Mariah Carey, or even that Boris Johnson diss track, but it’s going to the Trussell Trust and it’s ultimately an inoffensive, vaguely happy track that even gets the vegans involved. I, for one, prefer “Boris Johnson is a Sausage Roll”, a version of our #5 you can – and should – play on the radio even after Christmas. I don’t have anything more to say about this guy so piss off, LadBaby, you can’t even get the album cover right to the song you’re parodying, thrice in a row.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is definitely going to the Somethings for “Boris Johnson is a Something Something”, with an Honourable Mention to Ed Sheeran’s “Afterglow”. I can’t bring myself to give a charity single Worst of the Week so I’ll spare LadBaby the honour and grant it to Jamie Cullum for his greedy Amazon exclusive trite, with a Dishonourable Mention for “Gnat” by Eminem, for just being wasted potential all across the board. Next week, everything Christmas-related will be gone and we’ll get a bunch of returns and hopefully some new, interesting returning entries. We might even get the impact of Playboi Carti’s long-anticipated album – and I hope so because it’s fantastic – but that’s wishful thinking. Anyways, I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Here’s our top 10:

Thank you for reading. You can follow me @cactusinthebank for more rambling about pop music and occasionally politics, and I’ll see you next year.

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tuseriesdetv · 5 years

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Noticias de series de la semana: Más 'Pose'

Renovaciones

FX ha renovado Pose por una tercera temporada

Paramount ha renovado Yellowstone por una tercera temporada

truTV ha renovado I'm Sorry por una tercera temporada

truTV ha renovado Tacoma FD por una segunda temporada

Netflix ha renovado The Rain por una tercera y última temporada

ITV ha renovado Cold Feet por una novena temporada

Netflix ha renovado Siempre bruja por una segunda temporada

Cancelaciones

Netflix ha cancelado Chambers tras su primera temporada

Movistar+ ha cancelado Instinto tras su primera temporada

Otras noticias

La quinta y última temporada de Lucifer tendrá diez episodios.

National Geographic estudia convertir The Hot Zone en una antología.

Lisa Emery (Darlene) y Janet McTeer (Helen) serán regulares en la tercera temporada de Ozark.

Incorporaciones y fichajes

Julie Andrews (Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music) pondrá voz a Lady Whistledown, narradora de la adaptación para Netflix de las novelas de Julia Queen sobre la poderosa familia Bridgerton. Escrita por Chris Van Dusen (Scandal, Grey's Anatomy) y producida por Shonda Rhimes (Grey's Anatomy, Scandal), es una lectura feminista de la Inglaterra del Período Regencia (1811-1820).

Demi Moore (Ghost, G.I. Jane), Kylie Bunbury (When They See Us, Pitch), Hannah John-Kamen (Killjoys, Black Mirror), Sen Mitsuji (Origin), Joseph Morgan (The Originals, The Vampire Diaries) y Nina Sosanya (Killing Eve, Good Omens) se unen a Brave New World. Moore será Linda, la madre de John (Alden Ehrenreich).

Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl, State of the Union) será Moiraine en Wheel of Time.

Whoopi Goldberg (Sister Act, Ghost), James Marsden (Westworld, X-Men), Amber Heard (Aquaman, The Danish Girl), Greg Kinnear (Little Miss Sunshine, As Good as It Gets), Odessa Young (Assassination Nation) y Henry Zaga (Trinkets, 13 Reasons Why) están en conversaciones para protagonizar The Stand. Serán Madre Abigail, inmune al virus y líder de los supervivientes que dice ser profeta de Dios; Stu Redman, inmune al virus y líder de supervivientes; Nadine Cross, profesora y virgen que cree que su destino es estar al lado del malvado Randall Flagg; Glen Bateman, un profesor con artritis que se une a Stu en su viaje para conocer a Abigail; Frannie Goldsmith, una mujer embarazada que se enamora de Stu; y Nick Andros, un joven timador sordomudo con un parche en el ojo.

Josh Holloway (Lost, Colony) será recurrente en la tercera temporada de Yellowstone como Roarke Carter, un gerente de fondos de inversión con planes ambiciosos en Montana.

Jennifer Morrison (Once Upon a Time, House M.D.) se une como recurrente a la cuarta temporada de This Is Us. No se conocen más detalles.

Jamie Chung (The Gifted, Once Upon a Time), Jordan Patrick Smith (Vikings, Neighbours), Jamie Neumann (The Deuce, Jessica Jones), Erica Tazel (Justified, The Good Fight) y Mac Brandt (Kingdom, Arrested Development) se unen como recurrentes a Lovecraft Country. Abbey Lee (Mad Max: Fury Road) sustituye a Elizabeth Debicki en el papel de Christina Braithwhite, la hija del líder de una orden secreta conocida como 'Sons of Adam'.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Saved by the Bell, Franklin & Bash) será el padre de Bow en Mixed-ish sustituyendo a Anders Holm, que interpretó al personaje en el episodio de Black-ish que servía como presentación de la serie.

Drew Van Acker (Devious Maids, Pretty Little Liars) será Aqualad en la segunda temporada de Titans.

Christine Elise, que interpretó a Emily Valentine en Beverly Hills, 90210, también participará en BH90210.

Sarah Lancashire (Happy Valley, Kiri), Joanna Scanlan (Getting On, No Offence), Sidse Babett Knudsen (Borgen, Westworld), Mark Lewis Jones (National Treasure, Stella) y Genevieve Barr (Press, The Fades) protagonizarán The Light, última parte de la trilogía de Jack Thorne para Channel 4 que forman también National Treasure y Kiri.

Eric Ladin (The Killing, Impulse), Patrick Fischler (Lost, Happy!), Nora Zehetner (Heroes, Designated Survivor), Eloise Mumford (Chicago Fire, Fifty Shades Freed), Shannon Lucio (Prison Break, True Blood) y Josh Cooke (Hart of Dixie, Dexter) protagonizarán The Right Stuff junto a Patrick J. Adams, Jake McDorman, Joe Dempsie, Aaron Staton, Michel Trotter, Micah Stock y James Lafferty, que serán los siete astronautas del equipo Mercury.

Michelle Forbes (The Killing, True Blood), Patrick Fugit (Outcast, Almost Famous), Michael Gaston (The Man in the High Castle, The Leftovers), Tess Haubrich (Pine Gap, Alien: Covenant) y Shruti Haasan se unen a Treadstone.

Himesh Patel (Yesterday, The Luminaries) se une a Avenue 5. Será Jordan Hatwal, un joven comediante al que ofrecen una estancia de ocho semanas en el crucero galáctico alrededor de Saturno.

Sarah Parish (Broadchurch, Trollied) sustituye a Kim Cattrall en The Cockfields.

Derek Luke (13 Reasons Why, God Friended Me), Max Martini (Crisis, Revenge), Paola Nuñez (The Son) y Joel Allen (Never Goin' Back) se unen como regulares a la segunda temporada de The Purge.

Matt Letscher (The Flash, The Carrie Diaries) y Brittany Batcheider (The Alienist) serán recurrentes en The Angel of Darkness, secuela de The Alienist, como William Randolph Hearst, titán de los periódicos; y Joanna, sobrina de Cyrus Montrose (Robert Wisdom).

Elaine Hendrix (Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll, Joan of Arcadia), Silas Weir Mitchell (Grimm, Prison Break), Brett Rice (Sully, Super 8), Autry Haydon-Wilson (Interrogation) y John Marshall Jones (Bosch, Hart of Dixie) se unen como recurrentes a Paradise Lost.

Josh Hamilton (13 Reasons Why, American Horror Story), Kerry Condon (Better Call Saul, Roma) y Louisa Krause (The Girlfriend Experience, Billions) se unen como recurrentes a la séptima temporada de Ray Donovan.

Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Iron Fist) y Jessica Frances Dukes (Jessica Jones) se unen como regulares a la tercera temporada de Ozark. Serán Ben, hermano de Wendy (Laura Linney); y Maya Miller, agente del FBI. Joseph Sikora (Power, Banshee) y Felix Solis (The Good Wife, The Following) serán recurrentes como Frank Cosgrove Jr., hijo de Cosgrove (John Bedford Lloyd); y Omar Navarro, líder del segundo cártel más grande de México.

Pósters

Nuevas series

HBO encarga ocho episodios de Industry. Creada y escrita por Konrad Kay y Mickey Down (You, Me & The Apocalypse) y dirigida y producida por Lena Dunham (Girls), trata sobre dos veinteañeros ambiciosos que tratan de asegurar su futuro en el mundo de las finanzas internacionales.

Netflix ha encargado seis episodios de una continuación de la trilogía cinematográfica escandinava Snabba Cash, basadas en las novelas de Jens Lapidus. Desarrollada y producida por Lapidus, abogado penalista y escritor, y Oskar Söderlund (The Fat and the Angry, Greyzone), nos mostrará un ambiente donde la sed de dinero y estatus es mayor que nunca y la jet set empresarial y el mundo criminal han colisionado y son más brutales, caóticos y despiadados, diez años después de los acontecimientos ocurridos en las películas protagonizadas por Joel Kinnaman.

BBC One ha encargado seis episodios de King Gary, sobre un matrimonio de los suburbios que quiere impresionar a los vecinos y estar a la altura del padre de él (Simon Day; The Fast Show, The Life of Rock with Brian Pern). Protagonizada por Tom Davis (Murder in Successville, Plebs), Laura Checkley (Wanderlust, Detectorists), Camille Coduri (Doctor Who, Him & Her), Neil Maskell (Humans, Utopia), Romesh Ranganathan (The Reluctant Landlord), Dustin Demri-Burns (Sick Note, GameFace), Lisa McGrillis (Mum, No Offence), Mim Shaikh (Informer) y Emma Sidi (W1A). Creada por Davis (Murder in Successville) y James De Frond (Murder in Successville).

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones), John Magaro (The Umbrella Academy), Lola Kirke (Mozart in the Jungle), Ben Schnetzer (The Truth About the Harry Quebert Affair, Pride), Jonathan Pryce (Game of Thrones) y Judd Hirsch (Numb3rs, Superior Donuts) protagonizarán el piloto Gone Hollywood, centrado en un grupo de agentes de talentos que dejan sus empresas para crear las suyas propias en 1980, para FX.

BET encarga The Oval, sobre el nuevo Presidente de Estados Unidos (Ed Quinn, One Day at a Time), su mujer (Kron Moore, Stargirl) y sus hijos Gayle (Paige Hurd; Everybody Hates Chris, Hawaii Five-0) y Jason (Daniel Croix Henderson), que ponen buena cara en público pero tienen problemas en casa. Escrita, dirigida y producida por Tyler Perry (The Haves and the Have Nots, The Paynes).

Netflix encarga ocho episodios de The Healing Powers of Dude, comedia centrada en un niño de 11 años con ansiedad y un perro llamado Dude. Protagonizada por Tom Everett Scott (I'm Sorry, 13 Reasons Why), Larisa Oleynik (3rd Rock from The Sun, Pretty Little Liars), Laurel Emory (Heartstrings), Mauricio Lara (Teachers), Sophie Jaewon Kim y Jace Chapman. Creada y producida por Erica Spates (Victorious) y Sam Littenberg-Weisberg (Victorious) y basada en su propia experiencia con la ansiedad.

Fechas

Another Life llega a Netflix el 25 de julio

La tercera temporada de Dear White People llega a Netflix el 2 de agosto

Our Boys se estrena en HBO el 12 de agosto

On Becoming a God in Central Florida se estrena en Showtime el 25 de agosto

Bluff City Law se estrena en NBC el 23 de septiembre

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: 03/01

Last week, there were 10 songs on the UK Top 40 chart that were not holiday or Christmas singles, and this week, there are two, and by two, I mean these are really technicalities, since depending on however you define a Christmas song, there could also be no Christmas songs whatsoever on this chart. The week after the Christmas songs on all charts, especially the UK Singles Chart and Billboard Hot 100 (Where “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey dropped out entirely from #1), are chaotic, so much so that I think once again I’ll have to eschew tradition and change the format up a bit, because I’m not starting with the top 10; rather I’m starting with the drop-outs, which as you can expect will be mostly Christmas songs. So, with no further ado...

Holiday Dropouts

Okay, so first of all, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey is out from #2, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is out from #3, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is out from #4, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens is out from #6, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid is out from #7, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John is out from #8, “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Legend is out from #9, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard is out from #10, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is out from #11, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande is out from #13, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis is out from #15, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia is out from #17, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is out from #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is out from #19, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson is out from #21, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry is out from #22, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is out from #24, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams is out from #25, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber is out from #27, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Boys Choir or something to that effect is out from #28, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay is out from #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms is out from #30, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby is out from #31, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé is out from #32, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Home is out from #33, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes is out from #34, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 is out from #35, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is out from #37 and “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Dean Martin is out from #39. Obviously, all of the Christmas songs from outside of the top 40 are gone too, with one exception. That won’t be the last Christmas song I mention this episode but I’m glad to finally be done with these. Here’s the top 10.

Top 10

Obviously, the highest-charting song from last week excluding any Christmas songs, and the only non-holiday song in the top 10 last week, is up four spaces to #1, and hence technically the first #1 hit of 2020. It’s “Own It” by Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy, becoming Stormzy’s third #1, Sheeran’s ninth and obviously Burna Boy’s first. Congratulations, guys, it was inevitable.

Now eight of the ten songs that survived last week are all in the top 10, with the other two scattered around the top 20. Returning to the runner-up spot is Lewis Capaldi’s “Before You Go” up 10 spaces to number-two.

Dua Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now”, unfortunately not seeing much chance at hitting #1 at this stage, is up 11 spaces to number-three. I know these massive climbs look important but they are really not actually worth much note at all since it’s just a result of managing through the Christmas blockade.

Up 12 spots to number-four is “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas.

Rebounding to number-five is the former #1 “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I up 15 spaces to number-five.

Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is also in the top 10 at number-six, as it is up 16 positions this week.

Entering the top 10 for the first time is Harry Styles’ “Adore You”, up 19 spaces to number-seven and becoming Styles’ third entry in the top 10.

Our remaining leftover from last week, excluding the Stormzy songs outside of the top 10, “Pump it Up” by Endor reaches the top 10 for the first time up a whopping 28 spaces to number-eight, which may just be one of our biggest one-week climbs ever. It’s Endor’s first top 10, but I predict he won’t get many more in all honesty. We’ll see though.

Since everything else is a new arrival, returning entry or random Stormzy song that climbed, we have a lot of new peaks this week, including “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson, which returns at number-nine, becoming Jones’ sixth top 10 and Henderson’s fourth.

Finally, rounding off the top 10, we have “Lose You to Love Me”, returning to the top 10 at #10 as a re-entry to the top 40.

Climbers

Well, we only have two climbers for songs that were here last week, outside of the top 10, and they’re both Stormzy: “Vossi Bop” is seemingly making a second run, up 28 spaces to #12, and “Audacity” featuring Headie One is up 22 spaces to #16.

Fallers

Ellie Goulding’s cover of Joni Mitchell’s “River” fell immensely from its false #1 spot last week, because it is down 27 spots to #28, which is an unfortunate loss but should make it obvious that label politics are the only thing that got this to #1.

Returning Entries

Before the new arrivals, we will have to book-end our Christmas season with our returning entries, the songs that weathered the Christmas storm but are back in full force afterwards, claiming some form of victory, I suppose. Okay, so “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd is back at #11, “Falling” by Trevor Daniel is at #14, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is at #15, “Watermelon Sugar” and “Lights Up” by Harry Styles are back at #17 and #18 respectively, “Into the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA, from the Frozen II soundtrack and hence a song I’m counting as our second Christmas single still on the chart, has returned to #19, alongside seemingly its polar opposite, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One back at #20. “Memories” by Maroon 5 is back at #21, “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen at #22, “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean making its way back to #23, “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi unfortunately returning at #24, “Heartless” by the Weeknd is back at #25, “bad guy” by Billie Eilish shows up completely out of the blue at #26 and “Lucid Dreams” by the late Juice WRLD has returned once again at #27. “Better Half of Me” by Tom Walker is back at #30, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill is back at #31, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B is back at #32, “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is at #34, “hot girl summer” by blackbear is at #35, “Circles” by Post Malone is at #36, “Must Be” by J Hus is at #37 and finally, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus of all songs is back at #38. Now for our new arrivals, which much like right before we had to fend off the Christmas songs, it’s just a couple of viral trap-rap hits.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “The Box” – Roddy Ricch

Produced by 30 Roc – Peaked at #3 in the US

Roddy Ricch is a Californian rapper who is one of the newest crop of rising Auto-Tune-fuelled sing-rappers like Lil Tjay, Polo G, et cetera, although Roddy takes more influence from Young Thug, and you can definitely tell, in fact as a pretty big fan of Young Thug at least since recently, Roddy comes off as a bit of a rip-off or discount version at times, since I sense a lack of variation and honestly a lack of any true “weird” lines or oddities that make Thugger stand out as much. Roddy, or as BBC has mistakenly called him in his first UK Top 40 hit, “Roddy Rich”, has inflections that just seem awfully standard. That’s why I was excited when I heard “The Box”, from his debut studio album, because it starts with a muffled brass loop under strings and Roddy meekly repeating in his falsetto, “eee-err”, and it continues throughout most of the song, even when the beat actually kicks in. The beat is actually pretty weird too, with a reversed 808 bass that just comes in sporadically instead of a normal 808 bass. It’s really odd and really strange but it works because Roddy embraces it, with a fluid flow that switches inflection and delivery constantly, keeping with no motif or theme for more than four bars. He also attempts the very Young Thug method of making a punchline by saying a normal, somewhat funny line and then pausing for a beat or two, just to come back by saying, “Mm” or “Yeah”. The beat ends in a very cool way too, with the brass and strings loop playing without any percussion, until it reverses and the song ends with the rubbery reversed 808. It sounds really atmospheric and a lot better than how it sounds from my description. Roddy also says a lot of nonsense here that’s actually pretty funny, like how he’s supposedly a 2020 presidential candidate? Also, Roddy, Aaliyah’s dead, I mean, she looked great whilst alive, but if you have a “b**** that’s looking like Aaliyah”, chances are she’s not a model, or at least not anymore. A bit of a morbid point to end on, but this song is pretty fun. I still prefer “Ballin’” though.

#39 – “No Idea” – Don Toliver

Produced by WondaGurl and Cubeatz – Peaked at #25 in Canada and #43 in the US

Don Toliver is a rapper and singer from Texas who is signed to Travis Scott’s Cactus Jack imprint and featured on their debut compilation album, JACKBOYS, which made several appearances outside of the UK Top 40 this week, but none within our little range, but we do have this viral TikTok-propelled hit, “No Idea”, which is often considered his breakout single, and his first UK Top 40 hit. I find Don Toliver mostly tolerable, although I didn’t particularly like him on “GANG GANG” or “CAN’T SAY”. I would describe this song as pretty forgettable, actually, despite the admittedly interesting and pretty flute loop, which is immediately and abruptly drowned out by the vocals, drenched in way too many levels of ugly reverb and Auto-Tune. Yeah, Toliver sounds pretty awful here, and he’s just clearly ripping off his mentor Travis Scott with some of his inflections and even the YAH! ad-lib. The bass mastering is questionable and the song seems to have an aimless structure, with Toliver just breezing through lyric after lyric with no substance or content to speak of, and even a bridge for him to just ad-lib over the beat for about half a minute. The falsetto part is borderline unlistenable, especially when all of the overdubs and multi-tracks start clipping, even though that might be intentional. Yeah, no, this is garbage, as expected.

#33 – “No Denying” – J Hus

Produced by TobiShyBoy

J Hus has released a second single from his upcoming album after “Must Be”, which if you remember I absolutely loved, and we all know him by now and I told his story and legal issues last time, so no needless pre-amble this time. It’s J Hus’ ninth UK Top 40 hit and, to no surprise, it’s pretty good. It starts with this intense string loop, with some brass and a rowdy tone, building up for the beat drop, where J Hus abandons his mellow mumbling for raspy and aggressive spitting over a drill beat, and it’s pretty intense, as well as just sounding great, with some sweet 808 rolls, although the transitions between chorus and verse feel increasingly abrupt, even if the drill beat is added to the chorus after the first time. J Hus’ content isn’t any interesting this time around, either, and I think that’s why it hasn’t debuted that high. The second verse is just kind of boring, and the slightly off-beat chorus soon loses its lustre. I wish I liked this more, and there are things I like about it, especially the instrumental, but I’m not sure Hus did it any justice this time around. I still enjoy his casual bars that pay no mind to careless gang violence because I just think they’re pretty funny, especially when he treats killing someone in response to racial abuse like a normal weekday in the second verse, but this song does pretty much nothing for me past the first verse.

#29 – “No Cellular Site” – D-Block Europe

Produced by Kyle Junior

Now, here we go. Here is some interesting stuff: D-Block Europe. Young Adz and Dirtbike LB, two of the funniest rappers from the United Kingdom, of course, by complete freak accident and pure incompetence. They released a mixtape (their third of 2019) in late December and it seems to have just been swept under the rug for the most part as it seems like a rushed, boring tracklist. It’s got one feature and it’s not a big one at all, so this is the single, seemingly, probably because it’s got a video and for no other reason. This is the one people decided to watch the video for, and conveniently early in the tracklist. It’s their seventh UK Top 40 hit and curiously, I actually quite liked their last song with DigDat, “New Dior”, and maybe these guys have genuinely improved. Yeah, no, not really. They’ve abandoned the guitar, instead going for a gross MIDI flute that barely passes as a melody and allows for a bunch of silence in the beat. It’s just really empty and refuses to develop or build up to anything, even when the beat comes in. The beat is garbage but the men themselves haven’t changed. Young Adz is still the lead here, with his signature mumbling in the intro and handling the hook as well. I think his new ad-lib is a breathy “gyehr”. His flow switches in the first verse but it doesn’t sound natural or organic, and he trails off at the end of the bar, with a weird, vocodered ad-lib that just repeats the last line failing to fill up empty space. The chorus sounds really freaking awkward as well, especially as the verse ends not with an ad-lib but with reverb-heavy humming, before the chorus comes in and the beat can’t decide if it wants to come in or not, so it’s just hi-hats, a gross 808 and murmuring ad-libs for a while. Dirtbike LB’s verse is mixed in a completely different way, but the beat drowns it and a beeping flatline starts playing under his attempt at a soulful melody in the second half of the verse and it sounds pretty heartfelt, detailing his mother’s plight when he went to hospital for a drug overdose. Too bad it has no relation to anything else here, and Young Adz has a second verse for some reason as well. I have no idea why the last chorus sounds like it was recorded through the telephone, or why the song ends with the flute MIDI literally cutting off before the note ends. The lyrics here are terrible as always, but have those same odd, janky quirks they always do. Young Adz has codeine swimming inside him, doesn’t know if the “famous hoe” in his car is from Geordie Shore or Love Island, and saw a gun and sold cocaine before his virginity was taken, because that’s info we need to know. Of course, I appreciate the body positivity in the chorus, I suppose. This song is oddly focused on mothers as well, as he told the person he’s selling drugs to, to not tell his parents, and also draws the line when you start pouring champagne on your Rolex. Sure. Also this line is really funny to me for some reason:

I cannot deny that a [gnarly dude] need drugs

#13 – “My Oh My” – Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby

Produced by Frank Dukes and Louis Bell

Our last song is the single from Cabello’s second album, Romance, in which she experienced a severe sophomore slump critically and commercially, mostly because there is not a single track on the album that is enjoyable. It is possibly one of the worst albums of last year, just out of sheer disregard for both quality and trying to be unique. It is a generic heap of nothingness, and for whatever reason, it has DaBaby on it (He’s the only feature apart from Shawn Mendes). It’s Cabello’s twelfth UK Top 40 hit, and surprisingly enough, the first entry for North Carolina trap-rapper DaBaby, who I have talked about here before. He’s funny, charismatic and raunchy but can get very samey and sometimes his feature verses are just awkward, including this one. The song starts with some eerie, quirky vintage synths that sound pretty cool, but the horn section just punches in and I hear in the distance, a manic Camila Cabello obnoxiously laughing, and I’m immediately pulled out of whatever this is. It’s almost quite overwhelming actually, because a lot happens at the same time. Cabello’s voice is squeaky as either, the backing vocals are Auto-Tuned badly and add so much unnecessary vibrato that it sounds mildly off-key at times. The percussion is awfully mixed, with the trap beat, especially the 808s and kick drums being at the front of the mix, which makes no sense. It’s stiff, awkward and not sexy at all, mostly because Cabello sounds like she’s in pain 90% of the time, and I’m not for kinkshaming but off-key gang vocals aren’t hot. DaBaby’s “Let’s go” sounds so sad and tired, so you can tell from the post-chorus that he doesn’t want to be here, and yeah, his verse proves this. Apparently he’s “going Bieber”. Sure. This sucks.

Conclusion

I’ve got to say, not a great week, but the transition weeks between years are often a bit like this. Best of the Week is going to “The Box” by Roddy Ricch, with an honourable mention towards “No Denying” by J Hus. Worst of the Week goes to “No Idea” by Don Toliver and D-Block Europe don’t escape free, as they get the dishonourable mention for “No Cellular Site”. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank, I’ll see you next week.

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

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