#dawn.personal

[blueprint-han]

you don’t have to read any of this if you don’t want to, okay? this is just some advice.

i just came across one of your posts and read through your hashtags. this might be personal but i just wanted to say a couple of things.

family isn’t always going to be supportive with depression because they usually don’t accept it so easily. i know that from experience along with being caught with sh. i was told i was a disappointment to the family & should’ve just stopped being me. family can be the reason why your life is so hectic & tiring, but i don’t want to assume. you mentioned that getting work done was difficult, right? take it easy on yourself and breathe. i want you to know that you’ve done so well already. you’re strong okay? you got this and i believe in you. dawn, take things slow. do what you can & do not pressure yourself to go any faster. sometimes you need to sit down and tell yourself what you have to get done. write in a journal and express your feelings & goals you wish to accomplish. do not listen to family because they will bring you down. ignore every negative words and focus on the positive. here i’ll give you one, you’ve made it so far in life & you’re able to express how you feel. that is so amazing. i’m sending this anonymously because i want you to realize that people you don’t know care about you so much. keep it up, sweetheart ❤️

:( thank you for this bub. :( I'm at a loss for words rn, but your support means a lot. :( <3 ily ♡🥺 have a nice day 💕

[blueprint-han]

Hey Dawn, ngl I feel the same right now, actually, I've been feeling like that for the past few years. I only have have a few good days then the rest feel different shades of darkness… saying more stuff in your asks doesn't feel right but just know that you're not alone and I know you're strong, strong enough to pull through, even if you can't see any light now, but I assure you there is one. Just please PLEASE hold on.

I feel you. It just feels worse because I feel stupid for thinking that my mom would understand me and try to help me. All she did was make it worse. Thank you for sending me this, it means a lot. ♡ ily ♡

[blueprint-han]

If you have one, maybe use an ice pack or slightly wet a cloth and put it on your forehead. It's not a lot but it may help a little bit. Take care Dawn ~ 🐧

I don't have an ice pack but we did run the ac a bit so it felt nice :( zmznsj this turned into a whole rant so I'm gonna leave a tw for self harm mention/suicide mention

idk these days are just super exhausting since I have one class after the other and I have to squeeze in my studies for two different exams in between that and I'm lagging behind the syllabus of a whole ass year. It's just so exhausting and I feel like cracking under the pressure because I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with my studies and all I can imagine in my mind is those disappointed stares from all my relatives when I don't get a good rank in my engineering entrance. I don't feel like studying and if I tell that to my mom she's gonna start screaming at me that she's done everything she could and now I'm just lazy. But it's just hard to do anything when my depression keeps getting worse at the slightest aggregation and my mom just doesn't want to accept that her daughter can have depression and can't seem to get her head out of her ass that depression doesn't make me a mental patient. Idk it's just hopeless and whenever I fall into these breakdowns I remember all the mean stuff she's said to me and didn't even apologise for. I remember that time she told me that me telling her I felt suicidal was me baiting her to get her to give me attention.

And by the time I'm done with all of these things I'm so burned out that I can't even bring myself to study with the same intensity I used to. And then I question if maybe I'm the one who's being too much and making my mental health a big deal. Idk it's just stuff is too much rn and the way my mom behaves at literally anythjng that goes against her wishes is fucking scarring. And ik people say hey don't let her words get to u but it's just so, so hard to do that since she's the only one with me right now. It's hard to isolate myself from her even the slightest when she's the only one I have and I just,,, gah it's too much to handle. Idk snsjsjjs sorry for ranting :( I'm sorry if this was too much I hope u have a nice day penguin bub 🥺💕

[blueprint-han]

hi, love. as someone who used to si, I just want to say that i��m so proud of you for taking the first steps to stop. i know how difficult and scary it is, but you’ve got this. each day it gets easier and easier. stay safe, and know that you are loved. 🖤

Thank you love 🥺💝 it's pretty hard but I have to put an end to it before it gets too far. 😔 This support surely makes me feel a lot better 🥺💞

[blueprint-han]

please stay strong dawn! you’re such a lovely person with such a powerful voice, along with such moving stories, that it would be a shame to lose an amazing person like you. please keep fighting for us, a lot of us wouldn’t be able to cope if we lost you, and that’s nothing but the truth <3

Thank you, dear. This feels nice to hear after the one hell of a bad day I've had today, and I'm sorry if I've worried anyone with my posts. I can't think straight right now, but I'll assure people I'm doing okay. A little hurt physically and mentally, but I'm fine. I hope I'll stay fine. Because right now the things I wanna do to myself aren't very positive.

[blueprint-han]

Hey, I saw your post and noticed that you mentioned self harm. I'm not gonna tell you not to or anything like that, because as someone else who's been through that I know it doesnt really help. But I'm glad you were at least able to vent on here, and if there is something you can do that will help prevent you from harming yourself please do.

If you havent, try something like ice on the arm. If that doesn't work, try distracting yourself. Anything that you think could work. I know it's not easy, and it may not work, but if you CAN prevent yourself from doing it again then that would be great because you seem really amazing and don't deserve to be in such a painful situation

Pls remember we all love and support you, and I have faith that you'll be able to get through this somehow <3

Thank you love :( it means a lot <3 I kinda wish I never did it, because it feels like a continuous spiral of wanting do harm over and over again :( but I'm coping now sjzbhdjd I'm doing good now !! I love all of u too 🥺💕

[blueprint-han]

i agree with the anon who gave the advice. a lot of the time, we can’t help but see all the things we need to do and it’s so easy to get overwhelmed and feel any shred of motivation slip through our fingers. sometimes you just have to make little tiny goals that get you through the day. for example, something that i’m gonna start doing is make little tasks for myself that help me feel accomplished, such as “make someone smile today”, “go for a walk today”, “treat myself to something i’ve been craving”. it can be the most mundane things but it gives you something to look forward to in every day. i don’t know if this is something you’d be interested in but i thought i’d share. you’re so strong dawn and i believe wholeheartedly that you’ll get through this. as they say: the night is always darkest before the dawn (hehe see what i did there?)

Imsksksjs awh that tinie pun in the end made me smile 🥺💖

But yeah, you're totally right :( I've realised it's better to try to improve myself than to look for help, because for sure I'm not gonna get it any time soon. :(

Thank you for this! :(

[blueprint-han]

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↠ dawn, she/her, female, 17. ↠ biases felix, hyunjin and chan. ↠ this blog’s content is fully sfw, if you feel any content I post or reblog is against this claim, I urge you to immediately let me know, with manners. I may not be fully knowing and might make a mistake, so pls note that you are fully free to let me know if I post something wrong. I post writing on this blog, and gif on my blog @yunaevis. ↠ another fair warning is that I am often depressed and use my blog to vent (as said in the tags part but I’ll say it here too). So keep that in mind when you follow me. There will be depressive rants in the tags more often than not, and it’s just my way of coping. If you want to follow me but don’t want to see this depressive content on your dash, block the tag that I’ve mentioned in the tags section. ↠ I can say wrong stuff from time to time, and will appreciate it when people correct me on it. You can do this by sending an ask or dm, I don’t mind. ↠ longer about that I really encourage you to read because it has the dni rules and more info about me.

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[blueprint-han]

Dawnie, you okay? ~ 🐧

That's a hard question to answer honestly I'll rant about it in the tags if that's okay