#dawninlatin fanfiction

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 20

A manorian High School AU

Words: 2,5k | AO3 Link | Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

cw: animal abuse, verbal abuse, violence, panic attack

I feel nervous in a way that can’t be named

I dreamt last night of a sign that read «The End of Love»

-Florence + The Machine, The End of Love

Dorian was normally against the concept of Sundays. Aside from being the most boring day of the week, Sundays always made him feel weirdly sad and anxious. Another weekend was coming to an end, and he hadn’t enjoyed it to the fullest, and then there was Monday, getting nearer and nearer, looming over him with all its responsibilities and assignments.

This Sunday, though, could last forever, and Dorian wouldn’t mind at all. 

He was cuddled up in bed, watching some trashy reality show. That in itself wasn’t unusual for him, but what made this Sunday so different was the fact that Manon was cuddled up with him, currently leaning against his chest and laughing from the show she «could watch for his sake but would need to bleach her eyes, ears and brain after being exposed to».

It was well past noon, but neither cared to get up just yet. They’d left the party at Aelin’s at an ungodly hour, after all, making it back to Dorian’s and sneaking in as quietly as possible to avoid waking his mother and brother.

«I wish this weekend could last forever,» Manon sighed after a while, twisting in his arms until they were face to face.

She looked breathtaking in that moment, Dorian thought, with her swollen lips and tousled hair, her golden eyes bright. Images from last night flashed through Dorian’s mind, and he felt himself harden at the memory of how her bare skin had felt against his.

Manon must have felt it too, judging by the way she now smirked and shifted a little, so that she was fully straddling him. Dorian let out a groan at the sudden friction, his cock going from half-hard to ready and aching in a matter of moments, and his hands moved to grip Manon’s hips, guiding her against him in a rhythm that had them both panting.

«We could just never leave my room? School can go fuck itself, for all I care» Dorian suggested with a shrug. Manon’s answering chuckle was quickly interrupted as Dorian brought his lips to hers in a hungry kiss, a gasp escaping her she tasted him. 

«Sounds like a great idea,» Manon managed to get out between kisses, still grinding against his hard cock. Dorian let a hand drift under the t-shirt she was wearing, his t-shirt, and moved it upwards, until he found one of her breasts. He brushed a finger against her peaked nipple, and Manon let out a low moan at the sensation.

Manon sat up, hands moving to lift the t-shirt over her head, and gods, the day Dorian died, he wanted this to be the last image he saw; Manon, sitting astride him, arms lifted and glorious tits on display, face flushed and moon-white hair falling down her back.

Sundays might not be so bad after all.

-

It was already dark outside, by the time Manon left Dorian’s, having spent all day cuddled up in bed, alternating between sleeping, mindlessly watching TV and exploring each other’s bodies. 

She’d even met Dorian’s mother, Georgina, which had been a surprisingly pleasant experience. They’d had to venture into the kitchen to get something to eat eventually, and Dorian had been sure they were home alone, from how quiet it was, but the moment they’d stepped out of his room, the front door had opened, his mother and brother back from wherever they’d been.

Dorian had assured her, earlier, that if they ran into his mom, she wouldn’t mind, but Manon still felt mortified as she stood there, hand-in-hand with Dorian, her cheeks bright red. She’d been wearing his shirt, for fuck’s sake! They might as well have had a blinking sign over their heads saying «We’ve spent all night having sex!»

Luckily, Dorian’s mother had been nice enough to not make any teasing comments (at least not while Manon was there, but she’d gotten a text from Dorian exactly one minute after she’d left, begging her to come back and save him). 

Instead, she’d pulled a blushing, mortified Manon into a warm hug, telling her how nice it was to finally meet this «friend» Dorian kept talking about. 

She’d been even more delighted when Dorian, just as blushing, had stammered out a «she’s my girlfriend, actually». The conversation had ended with Dorian’s mother insisting she come over for dinner some day, and Manon surprising herself by finding she actually wanted to.

All in all, it might have been the most embarrassing experience of her life, but it had also been kinda nice. It helped that Dorian was absolutely adorable when flustered.

As she walked home,Manon tried to think of the last time she’d had this lazy of a Sunday,  and quickly found that she couldn’t. It didn’t fill her with panic and restless energy, though, like it normally would have. A weekend like this was exactly what she’d needed, after a long, stressful week. Especially when next week would be just as bad, with her grandmother coming back and all. 

Merely thinking about it was enough to ruin Manon’s good mood. She’d be back to constantly walking on eggshells, constantly keeping her mask on, constantly lying to keep her grandmother pleased.

Only a few more months, Manon reminded herself. Then she’d be free.

Gods, if her grandmother had known what she’d been up to for the past day-

Manon smiled to herself as she thought back to last night, already looking forward to the next time she’d be home alone, but then she turned down her own street, her house becoming visible, and the smile quickly disappeared, along with any joy she felt, dread taking it’s place instead. 

The lights were on.

Could her grandmother have come home early? Manon’s heart raced at the possibility, especially when she had no idea of knowing how early.

As she got closer and closer, she tried to rationalize, tried to keep the panic at bay.

She could have forgotten to turn the lights off yesterday? But Manon knew that wasn’t the case. She never forgot.

Some small part of her hoped that Asterin had come back, and she pictured walking into the house, her cousin greeting her, asking her what she’d been up to, as if nothing had happened. They would make dinner together, like they’d used to, and when Asterin suggested they watch a movie together, Manon would finally say yes, forgetting her homework for once.

It was that delusional hope that drove her forward, kept the fear from consuming her, even if she deep down knew the truth already.

Because as she entered the house, as she stepped into the living room, it wasn’t Asterin greeting her.

Manon forced herself to look her grandmother in the eye, to seem as unbothered and unafraid as possible, as the elder woman demanded, «Where have you been? It’s late.»

«Just dancing, I forgot the time,» Manon hastily replied, the lie easily slipping off her tongue. It had become so rehearsed lately she didn’t even have to think, and she begged whatever higher power might listen that it would work this time as well.

But Manon realized, before her grandmother had even spoken, that it wouldn’t, from the way her grandmother’s eyes darkened. 

«You’ve been dancing since last night?»

Shit. 

This was the moment she’d been waiting for. Dreading.

Manon swallowed audibly, trying to come up with a good answer, something to get her out of this mess. «I-»

«Don’t even try lying to me, you ungrateful brat!»

Her heart was racing, and she was sure it would burst out of her chest at any moment, but all she could do was stand there and take the verbal beating that was sure to come. There was no way she could lie her way out of this, no plausible reason for why she’d been away all night.

«The moment I go out of town, you start acting like an irresponsible slut, is that it? You are nothing but a disappointment! I expected you to do better, be better, but then you go and whore yourself just like your mother and that pathetic cousin of yours, throwing away everything I have done for you!»

«I’m sorry,» Manon whispered, eyes locked on her feet as she wished for the ground to open and swallow her whole. The familiar feel of shame and panic filled her, like all the other times she’d stood before her grandmother like this. Frozen. Powerless. And this time, there was no way out of it.

Manon thought of the countless times she’d been in this exact position, apologizing for whatever wrongdoing had aggravated her grandmother this time, of how she time and time again pushed herself beyond her limits to please her, yet it was never enough, and suddenly found herself feeling angry, more than anything. 

The anger filled her veins, drowning out the fear and giving her courage. Enough courage for Manon to do something she’d never done before. 

Lifting her head and meeting her grandmother’s furious gaze, Manon spoke with a surprisingly calm voice, «If you’ve done such a good job at raising me, you should trust that I know what I’m doing. Having fun and being a teenager for one gods damned night doesn’t mean I’m throwing away my whole future.»

Her grandmother seethed, her expression shifting into something darker, something dangerous, but Manon must have lost her mind already, because she didn’t back down, didn’t cower, even as her grandmother yelled, «How dare you talk back to me?! You are nothing but a worthless piece of shit! I should-» 

But before she could continue her furious rant, she was interrupted by a loud yowling, Abraxos marching into the room at the worst possible moment.

And just like that, Manon’s heart stopped, her courage reduced to nothing as her grandmother’s hateful gaze slowly shifted from Manon to the cat. The woman tolerated his presence in the house at best, but for him to interrupt her like this, when she was already so angry…

Before Manon could react, her grandmother harshly grabbed Abraxos by the neck, yanking him up from the floor. The cat hissed and scrambled to get free, but her grandmother’s grip was too tight. Manon couldn’t breathe, this wasn’t happening-

«I never should have allowed this fucking creature into my house!» 

«STOP! Please, you’re hurting him!» Manon begged, her vision blurring from the tears gathering, threatening to spill over. 

Her grandmother’s eyes focused back on Manon as she screamed, Abraxos still being held in an iron grip, and the panic in his features shattered Manon’s heart into a million little pieces. She would never be able to forgive herself for this. 

«Please,» she tried once more, willing her voice to calm. «I’ll do better, I promise. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again! Please!» 

«Fine,» her grandmother spat out, and Manon let out a sigh of relief, hastily brushing away a stray tear that had managed to escape.

Manon had stupidly enough expected her grandmother to then gently put the cat back down, before continuing her rant, but that wasn’t what happened.

Instead Manon’s grandmother gave her a malicious smile, before she flung Abraxos at the nearest wall. Manon let out a cry as the cat hit the wall, then the floor, with a painfully loud thud. 

It was only a matter of seconds, but it felt like hours, where Manon’s heart stopped beating, where her lungs stopped breathing, where Abraxos lay on the floor, completely still.

Her mind had never been so quiet before, never been so loud. This wasn’t happening, she couldn’t lose-

Then the cat moved, scrambling out of the room. 

Manon trembled, completely paralyzed as she stared at the spot where Abraxos had just been. She registered her grandmother stalking closer, until she was right up in Manon’s face, registered the hissed «If you ever cross me again, I’ll make sure that pest doesn’t make it out alive», registered her grandmother then walking away, but Manon couldn’t bring herself to answer, to move.

All she could do was stare, and stare, and hope she woke up from this nightmare soon.

It wasn’t until she heard the door of her grandmother’s study slam shut that her body started moving, taking her to her room. Manon had no control over her movements, feeling as if she was viewing her body from the outside.

As soon as she’d crossed the threshold, she carefully closed the door behind her, then made her way towards the bed with robotic movements, slowly lying down on her side. 

He’s not dead, she repeated to herself, over and over again, as her breaths became more hurried, more shallow. He’s not dead, he’s okay, he’s notdeadhesokayhesokay-

Even in her panic, Manon could feel something warm settle against her, and it was this that finally broke her.

Between quiet sobs, she managed to whisper, «I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I didn’t mean to get you hurt. She’ll never hurt you again. I promise. I’m so sorry.» 

Tears blurred her vision, and she couldn’t fill her lungs properly, but she kept stroking the soft fur, kept apologizing, hoping he would understand. 

This had all been Manon’s fault. Abraxos had been home alone for 24 hours, and Manon had left him plenty of food, but of course he would want attention as soon as he heard someone in the house. She shouldn’t have stayed so long, shouldn’t have been there at all-

She was careless, stupid, worthless-

The tears kept falling and her body kept shaking. She tried to gather her thoughts, tried to come up with a plan, but her mind was utter chaos. Everything had gone so wrong in such little time. The only thing grounding her was the steady rise and fall of Abraxos’ chest, proof he was okay, proof he didn’t hate her for letting her grandmother-

She’d almost lost him today.

And had the rational part of her mind worked in that moment, she might have felt a little pathetic for being this attached to a pet, but Abraxos had been there since she was a child. In periods of her life, he’d been her only companion, her only comfort, while growing up under the roof of this monster. 

She’d almost lost him today.

Manon couldn’t let it happen again.

Even if it meant going back to spending every waking hour working to meet her grandmother’s expectations, going back to being careful, never stepping out of line.

She couldn’t risk anyone else getting caught up in this mess, getting hurt because of her. 

She only hoped he would understand, if not tomorrow, but some day, that this was for the best. Him hating her, was for the best.

Only for a few more months, she repeated to herself, like a mantra, through the hours of the night, until she finally fell asleep, Abraxos having settled on top of her chest.

A/N:

Where do I even start?

First of all, it feels good to be back with my yearly update of this fic (I wish I was joking, at this pace I'll finish my college degree before I finish this fic...) As usual, the chapter is posted in the middle of the night, no editing, half asleep-

Second, Abraxos, my boi, you'll get revenge, I promise!!! I'm so sorry and I love you<3<3<3 I was in high school when I outlined this fic, and remember thinking "This chapter will hurt to write but you can give your cat lots of cuddles after<3" What 16-year-old me didn't think was that it might take me a while to write (4 years), and that I would be moved out at that point, really far away from my cat *crying*

Anyways- Feel free to leave a comment, either here or on tumblr, even if it's just yelling at me:):):)

See you next year I guess

Taglist: @fireheartfaery @bookishwitchling @celestialend @darklingswhxore @onfma @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @rainbowcheetah512 @wishfulimaginings @dreamlandreader

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 19

A manorian High School AU

Words: 4,7k

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

cw: sexually explicit content

that's right guys, you're getting smut;););)

please excuse any mistakes though (and how bad the smut is) because it's 4am here, i just finished the longest chapter i've ever written, and i need to fucking sleep<3

You only get one night upon the shore

So dance like you’ve never danced before

And the dance floor is filling up with blood

But, oh, Lord, you’ve never been so in love

- Florence + The Machine, Mermaids

Dorian glanced at Manon for what was probably the hundredth time in the fifteen minutes they’d been sitting in the library, working on their homework together. 

She looked entirely consumed by her math problems, but Dorian knew her well enough by now to notice the tension in her jaw, how high her shoulders were. The whole day, really, she’d seemed…off.

He’d wanted to ask her about it earlier, but the whole day had been a whirlwind of catching up with friends he hadn’t seen for weeks, teachers bombarding them with fresh assignments, and just trying to stay awake after waking up so early again.

Now, though, things had calmed down at the end of the day, and Dorian finally asked, «Is everything alright?»

Manon didn’t even look up from her notebook, she just shrugged. «Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?»

To anyone else, she might have been convincing, but Dorian noted how hard she stared at the book in front of her, how her voice was a little too light.

«Are you sure? You just seem a little…tired today.»

She sighed, before finally looking up, meeting his eyes. Her own had dark circles underneath, giving further confirmation to Dorian’s worries. 

«I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and then I show up here and we get way more assignments than I had expected, and we’re not where we should be with the dance team, and-»

Manon halted, squeezing her eyes shut. «Sorry, you don’t wanna hear about all this.» 

The last words came out as a whisper, and she looked down at the table once more. Reaching over and taking her hand in his, Dorian said, «Don’t apologize, please. You can always talk to me.»

She didn’t answer, only stroked his hand once, twice. He could tell that there was something else on her mind, but Dorian knew when to stop pushing. They could talk about it later, when Manon was ready.

After a few moments, she gave him a teasing smile, glancing up at him. «As soon as I finish these math problems things will get ten times better. You don’t happen to be an expert on differential equations, do you?»

Dorian snorted. «I sit next to Aelin in that class, so I rarely have any idea what Mr. Kelley is talking about.»

«He’s the teacher who doesn’t give a shit, right?» Manon said with a chuckle, the she cringed. «I was lucky enough to get Mrs. Hughes for the second year in a row.»

«You have my deepest condolences,» Dorian said, putting a fist to his heart as he recalled countless horror stories from other students about the teacher. She loved giving huge assignments without warning and with way too little time to finish them, rarely gave anyone above a B- out of principle, and should have retired about twenty years ago.

Manon was laughing though, her eyes seeming a bit more alive. «I heard she actually got fired once, but they couldn’t get anyone else, so they had to rehire her.»

«This gives me a newfound admiration of Mr. Kelley, you know? He wants to be there as little as we do, and honestly, he’s so real for that.»

«Is it true that he just let someone sleep through an entire lesson once?»

Grinning, Dorian said, «Not just once. He believes that if someone doesn’t want to learn, then that’s not his problem, and if they’re not disturbing him, he doesn’t give a shit.»

«Ugh, why did you get all the fun teachers?» Manon fake-whined, rolling her eyes.

Dorian batted his lashes as he joked, «I guess someone as talented and good-looking as me simply deserve it.»

«Can you make out with a mirror somewhere else, please? I’m trying to do math here.» Manon gagged for emphasis, and then they both lost it, dissolving into giggles, homework forgotten. 

These study dates were fun, but they also had a habit of distracting each other so much they rarely got any work done. Not that Dorian minded, though.

«Hey, do you have any plans this Saturday?» Dorian asked when the laughter had died down, suddenly remembering another question he’d been meaning to ask.

Manon closed her book, giving up on the homework for now. Raising a single eyebrow, she replied, «Nope. I’m actually home alone this weekend.»

«Well so is Aelin, and she’s throwing a party, obviously,» Dorian smirked, remembering Aelin’s excited rambling from earlier that day:

«Those idiots has asked my cousin Aedion to ‘keep an eye on me’, so he’s obviously getting us booze and not saying a word about the party as long as he gets to join!»

«Would you perhaps like to go with me?» He gave Manon his best pleading eyes as he asked, hoping and praying she would say yes. When she didn’t answer, he added, «I promise it’ll be fun, and we can leave whenever you want.»

Humming, as if deep in thought, Manon stood up, walking over to Dorian’s side of the table. He pushed his chair out to stand up as well, but before he got the chance, she gracefully sat down on his lap, hands resting on his shoulders.

«I suppose I could…» Manon replied. «Would your friends even want me there?» The question was careful.

Dorian brought his hands to her back, going up and down in lazy strokes. That she even worried about this brought a stinging sensation to his chest. «Of course they would. They know I care about you, and I think you’ll get along pretty well, once you get to know each other.»

He actually worried a little, for the chaos that would unfold when Manon and Aelin eventually became friends and ganged up on the rest of them. He was mostly excited, though, because no doubt Chaol would be the one suffering the most. 

«How much have you told them about us?» Manon chewed on her lip as she asked, playing with his hair.

«That we’re friends, but also…more.» They still hadn’t defined whatever was between them, even if Dorian knew exactly what he wanted. He had known for a while though, he just needed to find the right moment to ask…

Fuck it…

Holding Manon’s gaze, her eyes like golden flames, he took a deep breath. «I would love to introduce you as my girlfriend, though?»

He’d known from the second he’d wanted to ask that there was a big chance she’d say no, but part of him had still hoped, and that hope grew as she smiled slightly.

Then she crashed her lips to his in a hungry kiss. While her hands cupped his face, his own traveled down her back until he got a good hold of her magnificent ass. Manon let out a low moan as he squeezed, and the sound sent a jolt of pleasure straight to his dick.

Her tongue pushed against his mouth, and he opened for her, yearning for the taste of her. 

Dorian wanted more, needed more, but then they both seemed to remember that they actually were in the middle of the school library, and even if they were alone right now, anyone could walk by and see them.

They managed to force themselves apart, and Dorian was surprised he could even speak, since he was in the midst of the single fucking hottest moment of his life, and all that. «Is that a yes, then?»

Her forehead resting against his, Manon breathed, «Yes, I’ll go to the party with you…as your girlfriend.»

A grin spread on Dorian’s face, one that was mirrored on Manon’s, and she let out a bright laugh, the sound of it the most wonderful Dorian had ever heard.

«Can’t wait,» he murmured back, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

«Me neither,» Manon replied, then she stood up, moving back to her own side.

Before Dorian could even register what was happening, she’d gathered up all her things, putting them in her bag. «What…why…» he stammered out.

Giving him a teasing look, Manon said, «We should probably leave before someone catches us and gives us detention. I also have to be home soon.» Her tone got more serious as she said that last part, and Dorian wished they could have stayed in this bubble forever.

He didn’t move, though, and when Manon was done packing, ready to leave, she asked, «Are you coming too?»

Dorian glanced down, then shifted, trying to hide the boner he was currently sporting. «I can not walk out in front of other people right now.» His face was burning as he said the words.

Manon looked confused for a few seconds, before she broke into a taunting smirk, throwing a pointed glance at his lap. «That sounds like your problem to deal with.»

Then she turned around and left, throwing a careless «Goodbye» over her shoulder. Dorian was sure she swung her hips as much as she did on purpose, knowing his eyes would stay locked on them (and her ass, let’s be real here) until she was out of sight, It certainly didn’t help his situation.

Oh, how he fucking needed it to be Saturday already.

-

When Manon had agreed to go to the party with Dorian, she had still been a little skeptical, but now, as she walked up to Aelin’s house, hand in hand with her boyfriend, she felt nothing but excitement.

Naturally, meeting and hanging out with his friends made her a little nervous, but she trusted Dorian, believed in him, when he said everything would be fine.

Already, it was filling up with people, the bass of some pop song pulsating out into the cold January night.

Dorian stopped right before the porch, turning towards Manon. «Ready?»

Letting out a foggy breath, Manon gave him a bright smile, reaching up on her toes to press a kiss to his mouth. «Lead the way,» she said, before Dorian brought his arm around her shoulders, tucking her in close.

Together, they entered the house, Dorian taking them right to a spacious kitchen, where Aelin, Chaol, and a few other people Manon recognized from school, were in the midst of an eager discussion.

Immediately, Aelin spotted them and leapt from where she was cozied up to Rowan Whitethorn. «You made it!» she exclaimed, throwing herself around Dorian. Manon didn’t really know what to do with herself, so she just stood there, giving Aelin an awkard hi once she was done embracing Dorian.

Manon had expected a short, somewhat friendly greeting in return, but Aelin had to be pretty drunk already, because to Manon’s great surprise, she threw her arms around her as well. Manon stiffened at first, unsure what to do, but then decided to just roll with it and return the hug. She threw a questioning look at Dorian, but he simply shrugged, giving her a warm smile.

«I’m so glad you wanted to come, too!» Aelin said as she took a step back. Then she turned towards Dorian again, pointing a finger at him. «It was about time you brought your girlfriend around!»

Dorian smirked in answer, and it quickly became clear that Aelin had said it as a taunt, having no idea that as of five days ago, they actually were official, because she went entirely still, then her eyes slowly widened, mouth gaping.

«You ass! You have a girlfriend now and you didn’t tell me?! When did this happen? Give. Me. All. The. Details.» Aelin punctuated those last words by whacking his arm, Dorian twisting away, walking further into the kitchen, to escape the interrogation.

Manon took in the spectacle with a grin, feeling giddy and light, both at being referred to as Dorian’s girlfriend and at the warm welcome. Looking around, she met the eyes of Chaol, Dorian’s other best friend, who gave her a wry smile, then gestured towards Aelin and Dorian. «Good to see you, just help yourself to anything in the fridge while these two wrestle.»

-

They stayed in the kitchen for a while longer, chatting, drinking and laughing together, music blasting through the house as even more people arrived. Aelin had shrugged when Chaol asked, a simple «Aedion» being her only explanation. 

Happy to mostly observe the friendly banter, Manon stuck to Dorian’s side, taking the occasional sip from her second beer. She found herself relaxing more and more, and not only because of the alcohol. 

It was so nice to not worry about anything for once, to just be. No expectations, no demands. Manon needed this after the week she’d had, full of important assignments, tests, and…everything else churning in her mind. She’d promised herself not to think about that tonight, and she would keep that promise.

Instead, she leaned further into Dorian, snorting as he told the story of how him and Aelin had made a bet on how long they could keep a carton of milk hidden in their middle school classroom, and how in the end, it had smelled so bad they needed to have class in the library for three days.

«The best part is, we never even got caught,» Aelin stated proudly, high-fiving Dorian.

«I think putting you two in detention would have caused more trouble than it was worth,» Manon found herself replying, earning a slightly maniacal grin from Aelin. 

Dorian laughed, his whole body shaking against hers. «It would have been absolute chaos.»

«And you two would probably have found some way to pull me into it,» Chaol sighed, which made them all howl.

Soon after, Rowan announced he was going to see if Lorcan had showed up yet.

Aelin grimaced. «Ew, tell him to fuck off, will you?»

He knocked back his drink, then pressed a kiss to Aelin’s lips. «Anything for you, babe.»

Both Dorian and Chaol pretended to gag at the sight, but Aelin just blew Rowan a kiss as he left, then turned her attention back to the rest of the group.

«Anyone wanna play beer pong?»

-

Dorian and Chaol more or less got their asses kicked. Dorian had first tried to team up with Manon, but Aelin had protested, claiming that both him and Chaol sucked, and therefore she wanted to be on Manon’s team. Manon had just smirked, flipping them off over her shoulder as she joined Aelin.

It was a terrifying sight, really, but it was also everything he had wanted for tonight, to see Manon getting along with his friends, having fun, even. And after their massive win, Aelin had dragged her towards the dance floor, claiming they had to celebrate, and that this song was amazing!

Manon had easily followed, laughing the entire time.

«You two seem really good together,» Chaol now said from next to him, nodding towards the two girls.

Dorian smiled, savoring the warm, fuzzy feeling in his body. «Yeah, she is just…»

Everything, he wanted to say, but one look at Chaol told him that his best friend knew exactly what Dorian meant. 

Chaol’s expression softened. «It’s nice to finally see you so happy. If anyone deserves it, it’s you.»

«Thanks, man,» Dorian whispered back, suddenly getting emotional. Because he was happy.

He was so indescribably happy. 

Looking over at Manon only heightened the feeling. She was dancing with Aelin, and he could see that she definitely knew what she was doing, her lithe body moving smoothly in time with the music, but it was also something carefree over her, something relaxed. 

She looked luminous where she moved in the middle of the room, head tipped back in laughter even while she still danced, her hair cascading down her back, glowing in the low light. She was surrounded by dozens of people, but Dorian only saw her.

Then Manon turned around, her eyes locking with his, giving him a bright smile. Dorian wished he had taken a photograph of her in that exact moment, cheeks tinged with pink, golden eyes shining with joy, but he knew if he had, he would have never stopped looking at it.

All Dorian wanted was to close the distance between them and crush his lips against hers, then find somewhere they could be alone. He needed to feel her, taste her. 

Manon must have seen the hunger in his eyes, because her smile fell, replaced by something just as wanting, something intense, all-consuming. She motioned towards the dimly lit, less-crowded hallway, and Dorian gave her a confirming nod. 

He watched as Manon said something to Aelin, then left the room. Dorian made himself count to ten, before he made up some excuse to Chaol as well, then followed her. 

As soon as he stepped away from the crowd, into the more private hallway, Manon was on him, pulling him against her. Their lips met in a hungry kiss, tongue’s clashing, eager to taste one another. Dorian’s hands immediately went to her hair, the long strands like the softest silk against his fingers.

While Dorian slowly backed them towards the wall, Manon’s hands roamed up and down his chest, exploring. She hit the wall with a soft thud, her body flush with his.

Dorian sucked on her lower lip, which made Manon let out a low moan, the sound going straight to Dorian’s hardening cock. 

Needing a moment to breathe, Dorian forced himself to pull away. He braced his arms on either side of her head, both of them panting.

«Is there somewhere we can…» Manon began, chewing on her lip.

 It took everything in Dorian to not lean down and capture that lip between his own teeth. Instead he nodded, leading her towards what he knew was the guest room.

-

Manon needed to be as close to Dorian as possible right now. She had never been so sure of anything in her life.

Holding her hands in his, he led them up the stairs, and into an empty bedroom, door closing behind them and reducing the noise of the party to a low, thrumming heartbeat.

Her own heart was hammering right now, but not from nerves, only from pure need.

So Manon reached up, claiming Dorian’s mouth while pushing him towards the bed in the center of the room with hurried steps.

He sat down, pulling her with him so that her knees rested on either side of him.

Manon could feel his erection pressing against her core, the sensation sending a wave of pleasure through her. She rolled her hips once, drawing a groan out of Dorian, who started trailing kisses down her neck.

His hands moved beneath her shirt, slowly lifting it, and Manon found herself panting, «Just so you know, I haven’t done this before.»

He abruptly stopped, Manon mentally cursing herself for opening her stupid mouth. He looked up at her, his hungry expression replaced by that caring gaze she knew so well.

«It’s okay, we don’t have to-»

«I didn’t say I didn’t want to,» Manon interrupted, because she definitely wanted to have sex with him right now. It had been the only thing on her mind as she’d locked eyes with him across the room when she’d been dancing earlier. He’d been smiling from his conversation with Chaol, his deep blue eyes twinkling, his hair perfectly messy. Manon had wanted to brush her fingers through it, see how much more messy she could make it. Had wanted to feel his skin against hers with nothing between them.

Now, though, she felt herself blush under his attentive gaze.

«It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,» Dorian murmured, brushing a featherlight finger over her burning cheek.

Manon knew it was nothing to be embarrassed about. There weren’t that many opportunities to lose your virginity when you spent all your time at home, doing schoolwork, and she was fine with that, but being so unsure of what to do, what to say, was an unusual feeling for her, when she was so used to being in control all the time.

As if reading her thoughts, Dorian said, «If you tell me when something feels good, or when it doesn’t, and I’ll do the same, we’ll be fine. I promise.» He pressed a light kiss to her lips. «And we can stop at any moment if you need to.» Another kiss.

She had never felt so vulnerable before, but that was the thing about Dorian; being vulnerable with him never felt scary or overwhelming, it felt safe, good, even. It made her feel free.

So Manon reached down, taking the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head, before claiming Dorian’s mouth. His hands immediately went to her lace-covered breasts, fingers brushing over her hardening nipples.

Manon moaned in response, urging Dorian to take his own shirt off. The rest of their clothes soon followed, leaving them in only their underwear.

Then Dorian reached behind her to unclasp her bralette, freeing her small breasts. His mouth started trailing down her chest, and right before he reached one of her nipples, he looked up at her, asking, «Is this okay?»

«Uh-huh,» Manon nodded in answer, grinding against him as he finally brought his mouth to that nipple, sucking lightly on the rosy peak. Dorian was fully hard against her now, and Manon rolled her hips, needing more, more, more.

Dorian’s back hit the bed, pulling her with him, then he rolled them over so that he was on top. 

He cupped her breasts with his hands, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they then trailed down, down, stopping right before the line of her panties. Before he could even ask, Manon lifted her hips, urging him to take them off and just touch her already. She was burning from within.

Dorian obeyed with a smirk, then brought a single finger to her center, cursing when he found her to already be soaking wet. He stroked that finger up and down her slit, before he thrust it inside her. 

Manon moaned, rolling her hips in time with his strokes, her own hands palming him through his boxers.

That finger was soon joined by a second, and when Dorian started applying pressure to her clit, Manon quickly found herself cascading towards release.

«Dorian,» she moaned as she came undone on his fingers, her body going taut, then loose, Dorian’s fingers still stroking her through the entire thing. It was all too much and not nearly enough at the same time.

As she came down from her high, Dorian brought his hand up to his mouth, licking it clean. The sight had Manon ready to go again in seconds, and she reached into his boxers, pulling the length of him free.

She’d felt it earlier, that he was big, but her eyes still widened slightly at the sight of him, hard and ready. Dorian groaned as she stroked him once, twice. Meeting his sapphire blue eyes, she said, «I want you. Now.»

Dorian blinked, then leapt off her, discarding his boxers and picking up something from his jeans lying on the floor. Manon let out a low chuckle at his eagerness, but already, she craved the feel of his skin against hers again.

When he returned, Manon saw that the object he’d retrieved was a condom. He made quick work of putting it on, and when he was done, Manon reached up, grabbing his shoulders to pull him back down to her, their mouths meeting in a deep kiss.

She spread her legs to make room for him, and Dorian lined himself up with her core, but then he stopped.

«Are you sure?» Dorian asked one final time, his gaze so intense she couldn’t look away even if she’d wanted to.

«Yes,» Manon breathed, then he so slowly, so gently, pushed into her, all while stroking her clit.

Manon moaned at the sensation, at how he filled her, stretched her open. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t a feeling she was used to.

«You feel so good, you’re so good, Manon» Dorian groaned, and his words made her center throb in pleasure. She had never felt so full. 

He gave her a moment to adjust, but Manon soon found herself needing more friction, so when she wriggled her hips, he pulled out slightly before pushing in again. «Tell me if it hurts, right?» 

Manon nodded in answer, unable to form words right now.

Dorian soon found a slow, steady rhythm, and Manon started rolling her hips to meet his thrusts.

After a few moments, he stilled, though, and when he didn’t move, Manon asked in a breathless voice, «Why did you stop?»

«Just trying to make it last longer,» Dorian panted, burying his head in her neck.

Stroking up and down his back, Manon suggested surprisingly confidently, «Can I be on top?»

«Fuck yes,» Dorian mumbled against her skin, before he slowly pulled out of her and sat up, tugging her with him.

Manon could have cried at feeling so empty after being so full mere seconds ago, but it didn’t take long before her mouth was on Dorian’s again, and she fisted his cock, positioning him against her core.

They both groaned at the sensation as she gradually sank down on him, this position allowing him to go even deeper, hitting that sweet spot inside her.

She started moving up and down in a slow rhythm, one of Dorian’s hands going back to her clit, the other to her hip, helping in guiding her.

The deep strokes paired with the pressure on her clit made that blissful wave rise again, and Manon let her forehead fall to Dorian’s, her eyes landing on where they were joined.

It was the hottest fucking thing she had ever seen, and stroke by stroke, the wave rose, nearing the edge. 

Dorian was shaking beneath her, trying to hold back his own release. «Fuck, Manon.»

«I’m close,» Manon managed to choke out. She sank down on him one final time, right as Dorian pressed his thumb down on her clit, sucking on a sensitive spot on her neck.

She cried out as she came a second time, her whole body tightening. In her pleasure-haze, she was aware of Dorian’s rhythm faltering, him moaning her name against her neck as he joined her in that glorious release.

They clung to each other, staying as close as possible, as the world went quiet. Dorian brought a hand to her face, brushing her hair out of the way, and Manon gave him a soft smile, her body feeling wondrously calm. 

«Are you okay?» Dorian whispered, always caring about her wellbeing.

Manon pressed a featherlight kiss to his lips before she whispered back, «More than okay.»

-

Later, Manon lay cradled in Dorian’s arms, listening to his steady breathing.

She felt almost giddy, even if her eyelids were heavy, moments away from falling asleep.

Tonight had been probably the best night of her life, cliché as it was.

And it had made Manon realize what she’d missed out on, all this time. Not just the partying, but having friends, joking about anything, laughing, feeling so light and free and like she could just be, and no one would fault her for it.

She deserved to feel this way, deserved to be happy. And she deserved to be happy with Dorian. Because how could she go back to her old life, where all that mattered was living up to her grandmother’s impossible expectations, when she had finally learned what it was like to actually live?

Her grandmother could go and fuck herself, Manon decided. She only had a few months left before she could leave that house for good. And until then, she could pretend, she could be good, stay in line, but she refused to give up on all the good things in her life, refused to give up on Dorian.

Taglist: @fireheartfaery @bookishwitchling @gwynethhberdara @darklingswhxore @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @rainbowcheetah512 @mirubyjane @zoyalovesbooks @wishfulimaginings

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 18

A manorian High School AU

Words: 2,9k

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Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

TW: mentions of abuse, past death

Hold me down, I’m so tired now

Aim your arrow at the sky

Take me down, I’m too tired now

Leave me where I lie

-Florence + The Machine, Sky Full of Song

Manon’s heart was beating so hard and fast she was sure it would crack open her chest and escape at any moment. Closing the front door as quietly as she could, she prayed to whatever god might listen that her grandmother had gone to bed early.

«And where have you been?»

Fuck.

She didn’t know why she’d even hoped, since luck clearly hadn’t been on her side lately.

Willing herself to calm the fuck down, Manon stepped into the living room, a fake smile plastered on her face. «I was just dancing.»

The lie came automatically, one she’d used countless times by now. She needed to get through this interrogation quickly, so she could lock herself inside her room and let her growing panic rise up to the surface.

Because if her grandmother found out where she had actually been, who she had seen, the things she had learned…

Merely being in the same room as the woman made her feel physically ill, but Manon needed to keep it together, needed to pretend everything was normal until she could think properly through everything that had just been revealed. And tonight was not the time for that, not when it felt as if her head was about to explode.

«Dancing?» her grandmother asked with a look that told Manon she needed to be more convincing right now or she would face dire consequences. 

«Yeah. I needed to make sure this new choreography was perfect for practice tomorrow.» It was all bullshit, of course. Dance practice had been the last thing on her mind lately, and if it continued this way they would surely lose against Iskra and her team in a few months. Though that was the least of Manon’s problems.

«And the others are working just as hard?» 

Please, just keep it together a little longer, Manon begged herself, fighting the urge to scream.

«They are.» Because it didn’t matter if Manon did her very best. If the others on her team failed, that was also her responsibility. She could practically hear her grandmother saying something along the lines of «of course they fail when you lead them like that».

Her grandmother silently looked at her for several torturous seconds, and Manon was sure that this time her lies had gone too far, this time she hadn’t been convincing enough, this time she would get caught and her whole world would come crashing down.

Still, Manon forced herself to meet her grandmother’s cruel stare, hoping she couldn’t see how she was shaking slightly, her heart thundering in her chest.

«You have school tomorrow, don’t stay up too late,» her grandmother said at last, in a displeased tone. Then she turned on her heel and left the room, luckily quick enough to miss the way Manon’s whole body seemed to sigh in relief.

It took everything in Manon to remain calm as she walked down the hall, all the way to her room, because if she sprinted like she wanted to, if she slammed her door shut, if she let out the scream that had been building up for hours, her grandmother would know for sure.

Manon wasn’t fully convinced she was off the hook, but she was safe for now. At least it bought her a little time to figure out what the fuck to do. 

Finally inside her room, Manon closed the door and twisted the lock, before slowly sinking to the floor, gasping for breath. All because of that damn phone call a week ago…

-

«Hey, Manon. This is your father.»

It took a moment for the words to register, but when they did, Manon’s heart stopped. She would have thought it was just a prank, and not a very good one, had it not been for the emotion in that voice.

«…How?» The word came out so quietly she wasn’t sure he’d heard it, but his answer was fast.

«Your cousin, Asterin, contacted me a few weeks ago.»

Manon couldn’t believe what she was hearing. All her life, she’d been told her mother had gotten pregnant young, but died around the time she was born, while her father had wanted nothing to do with her from the very beginning. 

Someone surely had to be messing with her, but her gut feeling told her otherwise, and the fact that Asterin was behind it-

«I-,» she started, but didn’t know how to finish that sentence. What did you even say in a situation like this?

In the end, she went with: «I don’t even know your name.»

«Tristan Crochan.»

This was madness. Pure madness. 

The wise thing to do would be to just hang up, but Manon was frozen, stuck between wanting to pretend this had never happened, and wanting to hear what this  complete stranger had to say.

«Look,» he said, his voice cracking. «I know this must come as a big shock to you, and I’m so incredibly sorry for not being there, but I would love to explain everything whenever you’re ready for it.»

Manon almost scoffed, thinking that she could never be ready for that conversation, but then that same voice from earlier, the one that had urged her to just pick up the phone, urged her to say yes to this.

For her own sake, she needed to say yes to this.

-

In fact, she’d said yes to meet him, her father, at a café downtown only a week later. That was where she’d been, not at dance practice like she’d told her grandmother.

And now she was left feeling confused and shaken. Manon had no idea what to believe about anything anymore. Because the things Tristan had told her-

-

Manon looked around the café, trying to find the man that apparently was her father. It wasn’t too difficult, given that it was new year’s day, and the few other people there were all in groups. So she drew a deep breath, trying to calm herself, before she strode towards the man sitting all by himself in the back of the room.

She still couldn’t believe she was doing this. What if someone was messing with her? What if this was just a creepy stranger? Who even got a call from their basically non-existent father after eighteen years of nothing?

All doubt vanished, though, as she reached the table, the man standing up to greet her.

«Manon,» he whispered, his eyes lining with silver. 

Manon just stood there, unable to speak, unable to think. The man in front of her was slightly taller, seemingly in his mid-thirties, and he had short, light hair, though not as light as hers. What really caught her attention, though, were his eyes. Everything, from the shape to the color, was identical to her own. 

«Please, have a seat.» Tristan gestured awkwardly toward the other side of the table as he spoke, seeming just as nervous as she was.

They both sat down, but Manon still didn’t say anything. Even if she managed to think of something to say, she wasn’t sure if her voice would work right now. So she kept her gaze on the table, waiting for him to start.

«I’m sorry, I just-,» Tristen began, clearing his throat before he continued. «I thought you would look like her.»

Manon looked up at that, realizing he’d meant her mom.

«Sorry to disappoint,» she shrugged, deciding to wear her usual armor of cold and uncaring. She felt too vulnerable without.

But Tristan only let out a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his hair. «I’m not disappointed, just surprised. I didn’t think you’d look so much like….»

«You.»

«Yeah.»

«So you really are my father?» Manon hadn’t wanted to believe it, still fought against the truth, but she couldn’t ignore the apparent evidence.

Tristan swallowed once, face suddenly very serious. «I am. If you need a DNA-test to be sure-»

Interrupting him before he could finish, Manon said, «I don’t think that’s necessary. I believe you.»

Because this was all because of Asterin, Manon reminded herself, and her cousin wouldn’t have done it if she wasn’t completely certain. No matter how much she hated Manon right now.

«Okay,» he nodded, seeming slightly relieved.

Breaking the awkward silence, Manon asked about the one thing she needed to know. «Where have you been all this time?»

«That’s a very long and complicated story,» Tristan said, letting out a shaky breath.

Manon didn’t answer, simply gave him a look that said: «I have all the time in the world right now.»

«How much do you want to know?»

«Everything,» Manon breathed.

Tristan looked down, taking a few seconds to gather himself, before he started:

«I met your mom during my freshman year of college. We had a class together, and I was instantly drawn to her, because she was beautiful, yes, but also because she was the most kind, compassionate person I had ever met.»

Manon struggled to make this image match with the one she had of her mother from before, the image her grandmother had formed of a college drop-out who’d gotten knocked up by the wrong guy.

Weak and pathetic, just like your mother…

«It didn’t take long before we started dating and fell in love, and I’ll spare you the details, but two years later Lothian got pregnant. With you.

«We were only twenty at the time, but you were so wanted, Manon. So loved, even before you were born.»

He looked at her, eyes lined with silver, and the pain in his voice was like a knife to her heart. If she’d been so wanted, why had they both left her?

«A few weeks before you were supposed to be born, Lothian was driving home from her sister, and she got into an accident…»

Tristan closed his eyes as he whispered the next part. «She died that night.»

A tear escaped as he opened them again.

«I got a call from the hospital, but they’d called her mother too, and she’d gotten there first.»

Manon felt herself pale, dread pooling in her stomach. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what happened next.

«Lothian had cut all contact with her years before, yet they still called her…»

He got this distant look, as if he’d gone over this exact detail over and over again, to figure out where it all went wrong.

«When I got to the hospital, she was waiting for me. She told me that Lothian died in that car accident, that there was nothing to be done. And then…»

Manon wasn’t sure she was breathing. It seemed like it physically pained him to talk about this, but she needed to know. If she’d been lied to her entire life…

«When I asked about the baby, she said you’d died as well. I wanted to see you, if only to say goodbye, but they wouldn’t let me, claiming some bullshit about there not being proof I was family. I tried, I tried so hard, but they refused, they threatened to call security, and in the end, I had no choice but to leave. I lost everything that night.» He was openly crying now.

Trying to hide how badly her hands were shaking, Manon breathed at last, «You thought I was dead?»

Tristan nodded once, wiping away his tears. «For eighteen years, I’ve thought you were dead. And I never got to see you, never got to attend a funeral, never got to say goodbye.» 

Tristan glanced out the nearby window for a moment. «I reached a low point after that. I quit college and had to move back in with my parents for a while. I thought I’d never come back here.

«But then Asterin called me three weeks ago. She was just a baby the last time I saw her.» His voice was filled with hope now, and he looked back at her, smililing sadly as he said that last part.

«I was so shocked to hear you were alive. And that you thought I’d left…that I didn’t want anything to do with you…»

Manon blinked furiously to keep her own tears at bay. She believed him, because this, it sounded exactly like a thing her grandmother would do, either to punish her own daughter, or to get a second chance to raise this twisted image she had of an heir or something. Manon felt sick at the mere thought of it.

«I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Manon. I should have done more.»

«I- I don’t know what to say right now,» Manon whispered, sounding out of breath. It was too much-

Tristan gave her a soft smile, and Manon flinched at how fatherly it felt.

«I understand how much of a shock this must be for you. I felt the exact same way, that’s why it took me a few weeks to call. I was so terrified…» He shook his head, letting the sentence remain unfinished.

Then Manon was hit with another shocking revelation.

«You also have a sister. Her name is Rhiannon. She’s four.»

She definitely wasn’t breathing now.

«I live about 45 minutes away, with Rhia and her mother, Hannah. It took me years after your mother-»

«You don’t have to justify it,» Manon interrupted, before he could make some sappy excuse about how he thought he’d never love someone again. She didn’t care. And this was all too much for her to process at once. «I don’t even know you.»

Tristan hid his disappointment well, saying, «I know. But I’d love to get to know you when you’re ready for it.»

She had a father. One who cared about her, who wanted to get to know her, and her grandmother had been lying to her for her entire life-

«My grandmother…» Manon began, not even realizing what she’d said until after she’d spoken.

«…are you safe with her?» He was hesitant to ask, and she couldn’t take the concern in those damn eyes that looked too much like her own.

No, she wasn’t fucking safe! Her grandmother was a psychopath, and Manon was an idiot to not realize it sooner, but she needed to process all of this on her own, needed some space to fucking think.

So she muttered a quick «yeah», unable to meet Tristan’s piercing gaze. 

None of them said anything after that, and the silence was killing her. Manon couldn’t do this anymore, she needed space, needed to breathe-

«I need some time,» she mumbled, before she abruptly stood up and bolted. She was half convinced her dad would come running after her, but thankfully he didn’t. So she simply left, a million thoughts rushing through her mind.

-

Sitting on her bedroom floor on the verge of a panic attack, Manon tried desperately to figure out a plan. 

Her grandmother would go on another «business trip» the next day, if that was even what she did whenever she left, so at least it gave Manon some time. 

Right now, though, all she could do was breathe.

What she really wanted to do was to call Asterin, to ask her why she’d searched for Manon’s father, why she’d contacted him. But in order for that conversation to happen, they first had to talk about the fact that Asterin had been right about their grandmother all along, and then Manon had to apologize, something she wasn’t ready for just yet.

She had to gather up the courage first.

And she had to deal with the whole fact that she had a father who’d believed she was dead for eighteen years all because of her grandmother. And she had a sister-

The mere thought made her dizzy. Stuff like this didn’t happen in real life, to real people-

Still, Manon knew it was true. She could feel it with her whole heart. 

It filled her with such rage and sorrow, to know her grandmother had robbed her of an entire childhood feeling loved and safe and happy. 

She thought of that little girl, who’d only wanted someone to hold her, to tell her they were proud of her, that they loved her. A tear escaped, then another, then another, until she was full-on sobbing.

Manon sobbed for the mother she’d lost.

For the father she’d been taken from.

For the childhood she never got to have.

For the monster her grandmother had made her into.

For the cousin she’d hurt so badly, whom she missed so badly.

And for the boy she loved, whom she was bound to hurt someday in the future.

Oh, how Manon wished Dorian was here right now, to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her everything would be alright.

She wanted to tell him everything, but she knew she couldn’t. It was all too complicated, too fucked up, and he didn’t deserve this mess, not when he’d been through so much of his own.

Manon would let herself pretend for a little longer though, would let herself keep this one good thing in her life, even if it couldn’t last.

Because soon, everything would come crashing down.

A/N: i have to admit, i'm a little relieved to have finished this chapter, as it was the one i thought would be the hardest to write...i'm still not sure whether i'm happy with how it turned out or not, but it's here, and that's good enough for now<3

also a big thank you to everyone who comments, it's such a huge motivation to keep writing!

Taglist: @fireheartfaery @bookishwitchling @gwynethhberdara @darklingswhxore @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @rainbowcheetah512 @mirubyjane @zoyalovesbooks​ @wishfulimaginings​

[dawninlatin]

Lab assistant in training

Part of the Manorian Teacher AU

Words: 2,4k

AO3 Link

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Summary: When their daughter gets sick, Manon has to take her to work.

«Shit! It’s seven already? I’ll go and wake Rhia before I leave.»

Manon hummed in agreement, taking a slow sip from her steaming cup of coffee, as Dorian hurried out of the kitchen. 

He was supposed to give a guest lecture at the local university today, and was already running late, though that was nothing out of the ordinary for the Blackbeak-Havilliard household. Manon, on the other hand, was busy arranging berries around a bunny-shaped pancake, to hopefully please their three-year-old daughter, who was known to be quite grumpy in the mornings.

She’d thought becoming a mother meant never sleeping in again, being woken up by an energetic toddler at the ass-crack of dawn every morning, but so far it had been the opposite; one of them had to carefully coax little Rhiannon out of her dear bed, and then it was at least half an hour of not making too loud noises or making inhumane demands such as «putting on your socks» or «brushing your teeth» as she made the effort to fully wake up.

They really were raising a teenager trapped in a toddler’s body.

Manon had just put the plate down on the table when Dorian reentered the kitchen. He was carrying a still-sleeping Rhia, her head resting on his shoulder. «I think she has a fever,» Dorian winced.

Worry immediately filling every inch of her, Manon stepped over to them, placing her hand on Rhia’s forehead. Dorian was right, she was a little warm. 

«Rhia? Honey, are you not feeling well?» Manon cooed, brushing a few strands of pale hair away from her daughter’s face. Rhia’s eyes remained closed, but she made a few incoherent noises, letting them know she was on her way to waking up, at least. 

The little girl whined at the loss of warmth as Dorian set her down on her chair, but she slowly blinked, then rubbed her eyes. Dorian carefully pushed the plate of breakfast towards her, and she obediently took a bite out of her pancake, staring out into nothing as she slowly chewed.

«Morning’s aren’t easy, huh?» Dorian chuckled, and Manon had to smile too as the only answer he got was a solemn «Uh-huh.»

Getting the thermometer from the bathroom, Manon measured her temperature to 100. It wasn’t too bad, but Rhia’s daycare had a strict sick-child-policy, and wouldn’t accept anyone with a temperature over 99,8.

Dorian turned towards Manon, then, face serious. «I’d stay home today, but this lecture has been planned for months. I can’t reschedule or cancel.» His concerned gaze told her he’d actually rather stay home with their sick child than hold the most important lecture of his career this far.

Eight years had passed, and Manon was still amazed by how much love and adoration she could feel for this man. Watching him become the greatest father in the world had only intensified those feelings.

«I’m not too busy today, I can work from home,» Manon offered, but she winced as she suddenly remembered her plan for today. «I need to be there for second period, though. My seniors have a big test later this week.» One she’d promised they’d spend today’s lesson preparing for.

Dorian frowned as he tried to come up with a solution. «I could ask Chaol to take her for the day?» Chaol was currently on paternity leave with his and Yrene’s second child, a six-moths-old baby boy named Theodore.

«No,» Manon started, shaking her head. «It’s probably just a light fever, but I don’t want Theo to catch it if it’s a virus. She can come with me for my lesson, and then we’ll go right back home.»

Drawing a breath, Dorian was about to say something more, but Manon stopped him. «Now you need to go, or you’ll be late.» To soothe him further, she placed a light kiss on his lips.

It lasted long enough, though, for a loud «Gwoss mommy!» to come from the kitchen table, and they both turned to find Rhia staring at them with a look of pure disgust on her face. 

Laughing, Dorian said, «Alright, now that you seem to be in your usual spirits, I can leave!» He stopped by Rhia on his way out to place a kiss on her head, in which she groaned and lightly swatted at him to make him leave.

Toddler-sized teenager indeed.

«Bye, my adorably grumpy girls!» Dorian waved as he left.

Grinning like a fool, Manon waved back, then shifted all her attention to Rhiannon.

«How do you feel about joining mommy for work today?»

«YES!» Leaving the table, half-eaten pancakes forgotten, Rhia started jumping up and down in excitement. «Can we make slime again?»

Manon chuckled as she remembered last time she’d brought Rhia to work. Trying to combine entertaining a toddler and teaching a bunch of teens chemistry, she’d landed on making slime. Pink, glittery slime.

Man, motherhood had really changed her.

«I’ll see what we can do, but you need to get dressed, then.»

Before she knew it, Rhia was barreling down the hallway towards her room, talking about how she had to wear her new tutu, because aunty Aelin had to see it.

Manon sent a quick text to Aelin, or Principal Galathynius as she’d been as of last August, to let her know she’d be bringing an assistant today, then followed Rhia, ready to bribe a three-year-old into not wearing a halloween costume in public in the month of May.

After barely avoiding a tantrum, Rhiannon and Manon had finally compromised on her tutu, but no fairy wings or tiara or kitten-shaped slippers that meowed for every step you took (Manon had sent Lorcan nasty glares at work for a full month after that «present»).

Speaking of cats, Rhia had also insisted Abraxos told her last night he wanted to come too.

To distract her from that idea, Manon picked up her daughter’s backpack and told her to pack a few toys she could play with throughout the day. 

Manon quickly got ready herself, packed her own bag, checked to see that Rhia hadn’t found any disturbingly noisy toys (nothing to worry about, the backpack was filled with a barbie doll, a plastic dinosaur, a Baby Yoda plushie, a puzzle, and a book about autotrophic organisms from Manon’s college days that Rhia had found and completely fallen in love with, even if she definitely couldn’t read advanced science textbooks yet). All in all, Manon had to admit she had the coolest kid in the world.

Then they were out the door, without a minute to spare.

-

By the time they made it to the high school where both Manon and Dorian worked, they were five minutes late. Manon tried urging Rhia to walk faster, but she was too busy jumping from tile to tile to notice. «Can you please hurry a little, Rhia?»

«No, mommy, they’re lava!» Rhia pointed to the lines in between all the tiles, and Manon had to suppress a sigh. Everything was lava these days.

«Can’t you put on lava shoes?»

«That’s not how it works.»

After what seemed like forever, they reached Manon’s classroom, where everyone was now waiting for her. Before she opened the door, she crouched in front of her daughter. «First, I have to teach a little, so you have to try and be quiet, okay?» Rhia nodded, face solemn. She was the spitting image of Manon, but when she made that face, she was all Dorian. 

«Maybe you can puzzle, or look in your book?» Rhia nodded once more, glancing at the door as she thought over something. Even with twenty students waiting for her, Manon gave Rhia the little time she needed to ask her question.

«Can I say hi to everyone?» Manon melted a little at the sweet, innocent question.

She’d gone soft. There was no doubting it now. And while not as scary as before, perhaps, her students would get quite the shock, as she was still known to be rather hostile. 

How her reputation had survived, was beyond her, though. Her relationship with Dorian had been known to everyone ever since they got busted over a fucking Zoom-call, and the fact that they had a kid together was no secret either. Still, almost every student, new and old, was slightly terrified of her.

Manon couldn’t blame it all on motherhood, though. She’d been a lost case from the moment she met Dorian. That bastard.

Smiling, she said to Rhia, «Of course you can say hi. Ready?»

Rhia nodded eagerly, and then Manon stood up and opened the door. 

«Sorry I’m late, I suddenly had to bring a little assistant with me today-» Manon turned to gesture towards Rhia, but the girl wasn’t right behind her.

No, Rhia was still standing in the hallway, halfway hidden behind the door, staring at all the teenagers with wide, frightened eyes. For as much attention as her daughter could crave at home, she could be quite shy around strangers.

Manon sighed, crouching down in front of her again with a soft smile on her face. «You can come inside, Rhia. I promise these people are very nice, even if they look a little scary.»

She couldn’t believe she was saying it out loud. She loved being a teacher, yes, but she never outright admitted it. The things you did for your own child, though…

Behind her, the classroom was eerily quiet, only interrupted by someone dropping their pencil.

Rhia didn’t budge, assurance or not, only stared at the floor. 

«Come,» Manon tried again, holding out her arms. Rhia hesitated for a moment, but then hurried into Manon’s safe embrace, hiding her face in her chest. 

«Did you not want to say hi to everyone?» The voice Manon spoke in was the softest, mildest she’d ever used in this classroom, but she didn’t have the time to overthink it as she walked over to the blackboard. Rhia had clearly changed her mind from earlier, because she only shook her head, burrowing further into her chest.

Maneuvering both their bags down onto her desk, Manon picked up a piece of chalk and said, «She’s a little shy, but give her a few moments and she’ll warm up, I promise.» She even smiled at her stunned students, a nervous, awkward smile. Then she turned towards the board and begun her lesson, her child still clinging to her like a koala. 

-

Manon had been right, Rhiannon had warmed up after a little while. An hour had gone by, and she’d already done her puzzle, «read» her book, drawn lots of little drawings on the lower part of the board, and was now sitting by Manon’s desk, humming to herself as she played with her barbie and her t-rex while Manon walked around helping her students with some tasks to practice for their test.

She was about to help a girl with calculating a concentration when she heard a pair of little feet running towards her, and before she knew it, Rhia was standing right next to her, holding up her barbie so Manon could help her put on a dress.

Accepting the barbie, Manon tried to ignore how the student she’d been about to help stared at her, as if she’d grown horns in the middle of the classroom. When she was done, Manon handed the doll back to Rhia, but the girl didn’t run back.

The look on her face told Manon she was about to ask her for something she couldn’t say no to, and of course Rhia didn’t disappoint.

«Mommyyyyy?»

«Yes, sweetheart?»

«Can we do it now? Pleaaaaaaaaase?»

Those big, blue puppy eyes were another thing Rhia had inherited from her father, and they were even harder to resist on a toddler.

Sighing, Manon nodded, then said something she’d never thought she’d say out loud in her classroom. «If anyone wants a break from studying, they can help us make slime.»

Rhia took off towards Manon’s desk, opening the main drawer and digging out the goggles she’d found earlier, when she searched through everything. She put them on, huge smile on her face, and Manon gave her a huge smile back, pulling up her phone to snap a picture to Dorian.

-

Later, they were in Manon’s office, Manon preparing tomorrow’s test while barbie now fought a war against t-rex. Rhia was talking to herself as she played, and it was the most adorable thing ever. 

Manon had planned to go home after her lesson, but Rhia seemed completely fine apart from her slight fever, and she didn’t seem to mind being here, so they’d stayed, Manon trying to get some more work done.

Someone knocked on the door, and Rhia shot up to answer it, eager as ever. 

«Aunty Yrene!»

«If it isn’t my favourite lab assistant!» 

Rhia beamed as Yrene Towers stepped into the office, leaning down to give her goddaughter a hug. 

As the toddler let go and skipped out into the empty teacher’s lounge, Yrene gave Manon a knowing smirk. «I had your seniors after lunch today, and they couldn’t shut up about how Ms. Blackbeak brought the most adorable kid with her and how she wouldn’t stop smiling and she even used the word sweetheart and I even think she gave us a compliment?!»

Manon rolled her eyes as hard as she could, yet her twitching lip gave her away.

«It’s all Dorian’s fault,» Manon said, but she was actually smiling now, looking at the wall behind her computer, filled with photos of Rhiannon, of Dorian, of all of them together, even one of Abraxos.

«Sure it is.» Yrene sat down in one of the chairs. «Why is it still Miss Blackbeak though?»

«Not this again! We live together, we’re engaged, we have a damn kid together! What more could you possibly want?» Yrene had been a strong supporter of their relationship from the very beginning. Before, even.

«At this point, I’m so invested I don’t think it’ll ever be enough.» Manon snorted as Yrene looked dreamily into the air.

«I’ll make you my maid of honor, or you can even officiate the wedding! We’ll name our sixth-born child after you! On our joint tombstone, it can say Courtesy of Yrene Towers on the bottom!»

«Okay, fine, I get it, I have a problem!»

As they kept joking, Manon could hear Dorian enter the teacher’s lounge, back from his lecture, by the way Rhia called, «Daddy! Don’t step there it’s lava!»

«Oh no! But you’re standing in it!»

«I have lava shoes, silly!»

Taglist: @fireheartfaery @bookishwitchling @gwynethhberdara @darklingswhxore @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @rainbowcheetah512 @mirubyjane @zoyalovesbooks​ 

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you want to be added!

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 14

A manorian high school AU

Words: 2,3k

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

tw: mentions of abuse. glee.

But I hear music

I feel the beat

And for a moment

When I'm dancing, I am free

-Florence + The Machine, Free

Manon stared at the blank document, hoping that maybe, just maybe, if she stared at it long enough, all the words would magically write themselves. 

It was Saturday, and she still hadn’t started on that damn history paper, which was due in no less than four days.

She had never been this late with anything, usually it would be handed in by now, but Manon was too stressed about everything else to be stressed about this. It was only two pages, anyway, and history was easy once she got started.

I wonder when that is gonna be…

Groaning, Manon slammed her laptop shut and turned on the TV instead. She would just do something else, and then inspiration would suddenly strike or the last-minute panic would work it’s magic.

If her grandmother had seen her now, slacking like this…

This is not how you get into college, Manon.

She cursed, and reopened her laptop. Hesitantly, she started on a headline. The…

«For fucks sake! Just pick something!» Manon scolded herself, willing her brain to focus. Abraxos shot her a look from the other end of the couch, probably wondering why she was yelling at herself like a crazy person. 

The…

The Cold War

There! Now she had something and Manon could take a well-earned phone break, knowing deep down she hadn’t accomplished shit. 

Her phone lit up as she pressed the home-button, and she was met with a picture of the dance team from a competition last year. Immediately, she latched onto the image of a grinning Asterin, her face so bright it was nearly glowing.

It was a huge contrast to the way she had looked the last time Manon had seen her.

With a sigh, Manon opened her latest message-thread with Asterin. She had lost count of how many times she’d opened this thread now, meaning to say something, anything, only to close it again. The last text had been sent before their grandmother had found out that Asterin was pregnant, and kicked her out.

Won’t make it to practice today:/ Talk when you get home?<3

It had only been weeks a few, yet it felt like years since Manon had come home to her cousin cooking dinner, or barging into Manon’s room, talking her into at least watching a movie since it was a Friday night, and school could wait another day.

God, Manon missed her cousin.

Her stomach churned with anxiety and guilt, worrying whether Asterin was okay or not, and she ached with longing, missing something she hadn’t even known she’d had. Not really.

All this pain, and still, that small, evil part of Manon was angry, too. Angry that Asterin had been so stupid when she knew the risks, knew what their grandmother was capable of. 

Before she had even written anything, Manon exited the thread. Her grandmother had made it clear what would happen if she so much as looked at Asterin, and Asterin had every right to never speak with Manon, ever again, after how she’d treated her.

Instead, she opened her thread with Dorian, already feeling a little better as she thought of talking with him, laughing with him, kissing him.

She knew it was stupid, knew this thing between them had an expiration date, not far into the future, but she wasn’t getting any work done anyway, and being with him was the only thing she could think of to make her feel just a little bit better. No matter how much these feelings scared her. 

So Manon sucked in a sharp breath, and typed: Do you want to hang out at my place today? 

After the text had been sent, she turned off her phone and threw it away, nearly hitting a grumpy Abraxos in the process.

«Sorry,» she grimaced, reaching over to pet him as her phone chimed once, twice, three times in a row.

Rolling her eyes, Manon picked it back up, not at all surprised, when she thought about it, that he had answered so fast, and so…enthusiastically. 

Dorian: Uhmmmm

Dorian: Is glee season three the best????

Manon had to smile a little even if she was very confused. As annoying as his rambling could be, it was also kinda cute.

Dorian: The answer is yes, if I wasn’t being clear enough:):)

Dorian: So what’s your super exclusive, super secret address?;)

Chuckling, Manon gave him her address, Dorian immediately replying with a Be there in 15<3.

-

«What’s up?» Dorian said as soon as Manon opened the door. He was leaning against the door frame, hair pulled down halfway over his eyes, looking down at her with smoldering eyes. He looked like the guy from literally every cheesy high school rom-com ever made.

«Oh my god, just get inside you idiot,» Manon answered, not sounding as annoyed as she’d intended to. 

Dorian shut the door behind him. «Yeah, no, I promise to never do that again.»

«Swear it, or I’ll make you leave again.» Manon met his eyes, and her death stare caved the moment he grinned at her. 

«I swear it on season three of glee,» Dorian said, voice solemn as he placed a hand over his heart.

Manon shook her head, but she was grinning now too, and then she turned and walked back into the living room. «I have no idea what that even means.»

«Don’t tell me you’ve never seen glee?» Dorian asked from behind her, apparently very shocked she’d never seen this show, or whatever it was.

«Uhm no, and judging by the look on your face, I’m not going to either.»

Manon prepared herself for the battle of wills she’d probably, okay certainly, lose in the end, but it never came.

Instead, Dorian gasped, and beelined towards where Abraxos was still laying on the couch. «Is this the famous Abraxos?!»

«Yeah, though he’s very shy around most people, especially strangers, so he’ll probably run and hide somewhere in any moment.»

Dorian still reached out to pet him, thus waking the cat from his slumber, but he didn’t run for his life, like Manon had expected. 

No, the tiny fucker purred louder than ever as soon as Dorian touched him, and when Dorian sat down next to the cat, he got up, walked the few steps onto Dorian’s lap, and stayed there.

Manon was sure she looked like an idiot as she stared down on the pair and simply gaped, but Dorian was too busy telling Abraxos how he was «the cutest cat in the whole world» to notice.

«He loves me!» Dorian exclaimed, looking annoyingly proud of himself.

«I wouldn’t be that happy, he also loves dead bugs.»

«Yeah right, you can just call me the cat whisperer from now on, because this handsome little man totally adores me.»

Abraxos purred even louder at that.

And no matter how much it annoyed her, the sight also made Manon feel all warm and tingly, easing her anxiety for now.

Still, later, when Dorian left for a moment to get a glass of water, Manon locked eyes with a smug Abraxos and mouthed traitor. 

-

The last thing Dorian had expected on this boring Saturday was a text from Manon, asking him to hang out, but he was very happy for it now. They were sprawled on her couch, halfway through the first episode of glee, and Dorian didn’t know what was more entertaining, watching the show itself, or watching Manon watch it.

«I don’t even have words,» Manon said for probably the fifth time in twenty minutes. He turned away from the TV to look at her, and had to smile at the look of pure disgust mixed with confusion on her face. 

«You could try and express your feelings through song instead.»

Manon shifted her eyes to him, her stare promising death if he made one more joke about spontaneously breaking out into song, and said, «This is the worst show I have watched in my whole life, I think. It’s even worse than Riverdale.» She shuddered as she said the last bit.

«But in a good way, right?» Dorian couldn’t help but tease her.

«Absolutely not,» Manon frowned, though she looked back at the TV.

«I bet you secretly loooove it,» Dorian kept going.

«I will throw a pillow at you.»

«Wouldn’t that distract you from your new favourite show?»

«I’m serious, I will throw it at you. I throw hard,» Manon threatened, but they were both laughing now, and she was so beautiful when she laughed, and they both leaned closer, and then their lips met, show forgotten, and Dorian could do this all day, and-

Manon was the first to draw back, panting slightly. Of course, they had to breathe, Dorian had forgotten. 

He swept his gaze over her flushed face, lingering on her lips, so pink and swollen.

Mere seconds later, he leaned forward again, tasting her sweet mouth, his hands finding her hair, stroking her cheeks, her arms, pulling her closer. He could feel her own hands clinging to him, exploring his back, his chest, moving lower…

«We should probably stop,» Manon whispered against his lips, but then she kissed him again, her tongue finding it’s way into his mouth, and nothing had ever tasted so good, felt so good, and he could feel his dick getting harder and harder, and then Manon let out a low moan, and they probably should stop, but-

A thud sounded, and Manon practically jumped to the other end of the couch. Dorian quickly sobered, looking around to find the source of the noise, but all he could see was Abraxos heading towards the kitchen. Why would that startle Manon so much?

Then it hit him. She’d asked him to hang out today, at her place, which meant that her grandmother, who was very strict, from what he’d gathered, probably wasn’t around.

He searched Manon’s face, and to his relief, saw that she’d relaxed a little, probably coming to the same conclusion as to where the sound came from as him. Carefully, he asked, «Is your grandmother coming home soon?»

It was as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over them both, but Manon shook her head, cringing slightly. «She’s on a business trip until Monday, but…»

When she never finished the sentence, Dorian tried again, «Would you be in a lot of trouble if she knew I was here right now?»

Something in her eyes darkened slightly, but he’d barely registered it before it was gone again, and she smiled. «No, no, don’t worry. By the way, how far have you gotten on that history paper?»

-

Later that day, Dorian was sitting in his room, writing some more on his history paper. They’d gotten started at Manon’s, after she’d so elegantly changed the subject to avoid talking about her grandmother. 

Dorian’s gut feeling told him he should have asked more. He still hadn’t gotten over that look on her face, or how scared she’d seemed when she thought someone had come home. Maybe he was overreacting, but he would ask her again the next time he saw her. She’d seemed okay for now, at least. 

When they’d gotten started on their papers together, they’d quickly returned to that easy, carefree chemistry Dorian had gotten so used to over the past few weeks, laughing and teasing each other. They’d even been surprisingly productive, and now Dorian only had a page left.

Before he got started on the next paragraph, he sent a quick text to Manon.

Dorian: Halfway done now. I believe I might actually finish it before deadline this time!

Dorian couldn’t help but smile at how quickly she replied, as if she’d been waiting for him to text her.

Manon: Who even are you?

Dorian: Some people call me the cat whisperer

That had easily been the highlight of his day, maybe even his week, Dorian thought, when Manon’s very shy cat had liked him instantly and refused to leave his side. He wished he’d gotten a picture of Manon’s face as the cat crawled into his lap.

Manon: Never heard of him.

Dorian: Ask Abraxos:)

Manon: [redacted]

Dorian laughed out loud at that, the sound echoing in his empty room. He truly hadn’t laughed as much as he did with Manon in ages. Of course, he had Aelin and Chaol, but he felt like Manon saw him in a way no one else did.

He could be both funny or happy and sad or anxious with her, and she never demanded or expected anything from him. He could talk to her about everything, serious or not, and she would understand. With Manon, he could just be.

Suddenly more serious, he sent her another text.

Dorian: I really enjoyed being with you today, you know

The typing bubbles appeared, disappeared, appeared again, for what felt like forever, until she answered.

Manon: Me too<3

It filled Dorian with a new kind of warmth. The words, the heart, all of it. 

He stepped away from the desk, history project abandoned, and fell down on his bed instead. Closing his eyes, Dorian let himself think for a moment, how grateful he was that he’d met Manon. 

For the first time in a long while, he believed that everything could actually be okay in the end.

And as his mom called from downstairs to say that dinner was ready, Dorian decided that he would come out to his parents. Tonight.

A/N: Surprised? Me too! It's been over a year since I updated this, so I'm excited to see if anyone even remembers it, but if you're constantly thinking; "man, I hope dawninlatin updates that manorian fic soon", here you go;);) I hope this fic still feels the same, even though it might be a bit more mature now (I was only 16 when I started writing it, after all), but it is difficult to get back into it after so long. I also try to not be repetitive with my writing, but that's nearly impossible when you write it chapter-by-chapter over such a long time, so bear with me.... Still not making any promises regarding finishing it, or a timeline etc. but I will say that I just finished high school and suddenly have a lot of time on my hands;) Feel free to leave a comment or reblog! Even though I suck at answering them, they mean the world to me<3<3<3

Taglist: @fireheartfaery @bookishwitchling @gwynethhberdara @darklingswhxore @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @rainbowcheetah512 @mirubyjane​

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you want to be added to any of them!

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 15

A manorian high school AU

Words: 2,8k

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia, coming-out ending badly

This chapter is a heavy one, since, as you've probably guessed from the previous chapter, Dorian comes out to his parents. It does not end well, and there are both homophobia and biphobia graphically described. I would like to state that I do not, under any circumstance, support this (I am bisexual myself), and Dorian's father will always be a villain in this story. If you worry that this chapter could trigger you, I advise you to either skip it entirely, or scroll down to the -, where the POV shifts to Manon's. Previous events will be discussed here, but not as graphic. If you struggle with some of the same things as Dorian, know that you are valid, you are loved, and you are never, ever alone. Stay safe, and have a happy pride month guys<3<3

And it’s breaking over me

A thousand miles down to the seabed

Found the place to rest my head

Never let me go, never let me go

-Florence + The Machine, Never Let Me Go

«Family dinner» was the usual, and Dorian was starting to rethink his decision from earlier. The only sounds that could be heard in the spacious dining room was a fork clinking against a plate, or Hollin chewing with his mouth open. 

His mom had poured herself a generous glass of wine before dinner even started, saying this kid keeps giving me headaches, because Hollin had thrown a tantrum when he couldn’t have pizza for dinner. 

Dorian’s father was scrolling on his phone, ignoring his family, and seemingly oblivious to the tense atmosphere in the room. Occasionally, he would make some snide comment about whatever «politically correct bullshit» he read on Facebook.

In other words, Dorian was moments away from losing it. 

He’d felt so great earlier, riding the high of just being in Manon Blackbeak’s presence, that he’d even decided he would come out to his parents, tonight.

Now, he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to form a single sound.

All he wanted was to finish his dinner and head back upstairs as fast as possible. Yet he kept trying to speak up, kept trying to find the words. He would open his mouth, willing his voice to just work, but it wouldn’t, and Dorian feared this attempt would end like all the others.

He felt angry, frustrated, but also pathetic. Why was it such a big deal to him? It wasn’t like he was the first bisexual person to ever walk the earth, and his parents probably wouldn’t even care, at best, and maybe he shouldn’t-

Dorian stopped himself before he finished that thought. Coming out was important to him, because while his sexuality didn’t define him, it was still a big part of him, and he was done tip-toeing around his own family, anxious they would somehow find out on their own.

Without thinking, Dorian stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. It had been so abrupt he even got his father’s attention, and the man was now staring at him, expecting him to leave the table.

But Dorian remained, completely frozen. 

His hands were clammy, and he could feel his heart racing. Now, he had to do it now. 

Before Dorian could even try to speak, his father asked in a bored voice, «Did you want anything, Dorian?» 

Dorian was just as tall as his father, taller, even, and the man was currently sitting down, for fuck’s sake, but right now he made Dorian feel smaller than ever. Insignificant.

«Yeah, I…» This was worse than imagined, and Dorian felt himself slowly beginning to panic. «I-»

Even his mom was staring at him now, her gaze more alert than it had been in a long, long time. There was a sort of desperation there, one Dorian couldn’t decipher.

He looked down at his hands, white-knuckled from gripping the back of the chair.

What were you thinking? he asked himself, ready to just turn on his heel and leave.

Then he remembered.

He remembered how Chaol had hugged him when he’d started sobbing after telling him, so relieved to have told just one important person in his life, remembered how Aelin had grinned, getting exited over the possibility of discussing «hot boys» with her best friend, proving that nothing between them had changed.

He remembered Manon. No judgement on her face, only curiosity and a soft smile she often wasn’t aware she was making.

Dorian drew a deep breath. He could do this. He would be okay, he had to be when he had his friends, had Manon. He could do this.

«I wanted to tell you something,» he began, once more looking at his father, whom now radiated impatience. Say it! Say it now!

«I’ve been trying to tell you for a while, actually…» 

Just rip off the band-aid, Dorian.

«I’m bisexual.»

It went quiet, even Hollin freezing momentarily, and the stillness was so loud Dorian worried it would choke him.

The first person to say something was his mother, to Dorian’s great surprise. «Dorian, you shouldn’t joke about this.» She was smiling stiffly, her voice light, but her eyes were still pleading, boring into him with a burning intensity. Unease spread in his body, and it confused him, seeing her so present, like she actually cared about something. Cared about him.

Shaking his head, Dorian stammered, «W-what? I’m not-»

But before he could finish, his father stood up slowly, his hard gaze sweeping over Dorian once. «Get out.»

The unease turned into a knife, stabbing him once, twice.

«Please-»

It was his mother again, and her words shocked Dorian to his core. His father quickly dragged him back to reality, though, and ice spread through him at the cruel words.

«If you’re gay, son, at least have the balls to fully admit it. Not this…What did you call it again? Bi-sexual bullshit. I can barely even stomach to look at you right now, the way you dare disrespect me like this. You can come back when you’ve decided to be a man. Now. Get. Out. Of. My. House!»

What unnerved Dorian the most, was how his voice stayed completely calm, cold, until those last words. Then his father picked up his wine-glass and chucked it into the wall behind Dorian, making him flinch as the glass broke into a thousand little pieces.

His mother stayed silent this time, and Dorian didn’t know which betrayal hurt the most.

Heart pounding, ears ringing, he turned and quietly left, avoiding the glass-shards on the floor. 

Dorian felt empty. Drained.

He’d expected himself to start sobbing the moment he was alone, but as the front-door shut behind him, the emptiness remained.

Was this what it was like to be in shock?

Lifting his phone, Dorian tried to debate his options, who to call, but the buzzing in his mind was too loud.

He was cold, too, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of his father’s words, or because it was November and he’d forgotten his jacket.

Instead of calling someone, Dorian started walking.

-

Manon had just settled under her blanket when someone knocked on her window.

She froze, breaths turning uneven. Asterin.

The last time Asterin had come knocking on her window, it had been the night before school started. She’d been at a party, and had been giggling as she’d laid down in Manon’s bed, telling her about Hunter for the first time.

So much had changed from that night. 

The knocking came again, and Manon realized she still hadn’t moved. She was afraid of what she would find on the other side, honestly, and what if her grandmother came home early, or found out in some other way?

Manon threw the blanket aside and got up, slowly walking towards the window. She couldn’t see anything, it was too dark, but she knew what she would find. Asterin, heartbroken or injured or-

She shouldn’t have trusted Hunter, Manon’d had a bad feeling from the start, and now Asterin was all alone, kicked out of their home, fucking pregnant.

But then Manon opened the window, and her heart stopped, because it wasn’t Asterin, it was Dorian.

Stepping back slightly, she took in the sight of him.

His eyes were wide, his face pale, but she couldn’t see that he was in pain in any way, and it didn’t look like he’d been crying. He was shivering though, and she noticed he was only wearing a thin sweater, outside, in November!

«Jesus Christ! Get inside before you freeze to death!» She stepped back even further to give him enough space to climb in, not knowing what to say or do.

Dorian didn’t say anything either, as he slowly climbed through the window, then slowly walked toward her bed in the middle of the room, then slowly slid down to the floor, sitting with his back against the bed.

And then he sat there, staring at a spot on the floor.

Hesitantly, Manon moved, crouching down in front of him, trying to meet his eyes. She felt sick with worry, trying to figure out what had made him like…this. 

«Dorian?» she tried carefully, but she got no reaction. Was he drunk? Had he taken drugs? Manon couldn’t make sense of it. He’d been fine when he left earlier. «What happened?» she then whispered, lifting a hand to his cheek, the touch featherlight.

That’s when he finally looked up at her, and Manon’s heart broke for the boy she had come to care so much for as his face crumpled almost in slow motion, and he broke down into choked sobs.

Pure instinct made her pull him into a tight hug, and Dorian simply buried his head between her neck and shoulder, breaths heaving as he wept. She could feel his tears soaking through her shirt at some point, but she didn’t mind.

Instead, she sat there, holding him and stroking his back, telling him to breathe, telling him it would be okay, until the sobs died down, and the world was once more quiet. Manon had no idea how long they sat there on the floor.

When Dorian lifted his head, Manon pulled away slightly to survey him. His eyes were read and puffy, and he looked exhausted, but at least he didn’t have that distant look anymore. It had terrified her to see him like that. 

«Are you cold?» Though Manon had no idea what she was doing, it was the most logic thing to ask him right now. He’d been outside without a jacket, after all, and by the looks of it, he’d walked all the way here, which meant he’d been outside for a long time.

Dorian looked at her for a moment, before answering. «Not anymore.»

They were both whispering, afraid to disturb the calm that had now fallen over them. 

«Would you like to sleep, then? You look tired…» Manon chewed her lip, looking down as she waited for his answer. He just nodded, but none of them moved.

It was madness to have a boy sleeping over, but her grandmother wasn’t coming home in another two days, anyway, and frankly…Manon didn’t care right now. Dorian was more important.

Things had changed. Manon knew that, but she hadn’t realized until that moment how much.

«You can take my bed, and I’ll, uh-»

Manon didn’t know what to say next. She had been about to offer taking Asterin’s old room for the night, but she’d gotten insecure, and hesitated. They hadn’t defined whatever was between them, but would it be so weird to share a bed when you’d been making out non-stop for weeks?

Not the moment to think about this! she chastised herself. Dorian needed to sleep, that was her mission.

Before she could overthink it any more, Dorian pulled her out of it, like he had read her mind or something. «Please, will you stay with me?»

He pressed his forehead to hers, and Manon nodded, before placing a soft kiss on his lips. 

Then she got up and started to move a few of the million pillows she had, off the bed, and onto the floor, so her double bed actually had room for two people. Dorian stood up too, limbs heavy with weariness. 

Their eyes met from across the room, and lingered on one another. Manon cleared her throat, her cheeks warming from what she was about to say next. «It’s okay if you wanna take off your pants. Sleeping in jeans can’t be comfortable.» 

«Trying to get me naked already, Blackbeak?» Manon nearly wept in relief at the bit of normality. His smirk didn’t fully convince her, but he was trying, he was making his usual jokes.

«I’ll go get you a glass of water while you-» she gestured vaguely in his direction, «-undress.» Then she left the room.

When she got back, glass in hand, Dorian was already under the covers, laying on his side, though not asleep yet. She placed the water on the nightstand on his side, then climbed in herself, noticing his pants discarded on the floor. 

Manon was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, so it wasn’t like they were naked, but it still felt awkward. The bed wasn’t so big they could go a whole night without brushing against one another.

They both shifted, now laying face-to-face, and then Dorian said, words so quiet they were barely audible, «I came out to my parents tonight.»

«Oh?» His words, the way he’d looked standing outside her window, made dread pool in her belly. She didn’t like where this was going…

«My father told me to get out.» A tear slipped down his cheek, and Manon lifted a trembling hand to brush it away. 

«Dorian…»

He then told her the rest of the cruel, hateful words his disgusting father had said, and how his mother had tried at first, but ultimately just stood there as his father kicked out his own son. Tears had been steadily running down his cheeks as he whispered, and by the time he was done, Manon had pulled him into another hug, wanting to strangle his father.

«What I can’t stop thinking about, though, is how she looked like she actually cared about me for a moment. Why didn’t she do more?»

The question made Manon nauseous. Was she much better? Hadn’t she let the same exact thing happen to Asterin?

«Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not like they have to know, right?»

At that, Manon pulled away abruptly. «This wasn’t your fault, Dorian.» Just like it hadn’t been Asterin’s fault.

«I know, I just-»

«No, if you don’t want to keep your sexuality a secret, you shouldn’t have to, and it fucking sucks that there are people like your father who doesn’t respect that. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.» Manon sounded angry, almost, but it was important to her that Dorian understood this.

Another tear landed on his cheek as he nodded, lips forming an almost-smile. «Thank you. And I’m sorry to bother you with my problems like this-»

Manon placed a finger on his lips this time, shushing him. «Don’t you dare. I’m glad you’re here. I wish it was under better circumstances, but I’m glad to have you here.»

Dorian didn’t answer her, but his eyes told her enough. I’m glad to be with you, too.

They both went quiet for a while, when Dorian suddenly said, «You know, this was not how I imagined us sharing a bed for the first time.» Manon could feel herself go bright red, thinking of what his words implied. He imagines us sharing a bed. She quickly shut that thought down, though, because now was not the time.

«Weren’t you tired?»

«Tell me something, to help me fall asleep.»

«Like what?»

«I don’t know…Tell me about your parents.»

Manon blew out a long breath, though she didn’t mind the question. After what he’d told her tonight, she owed him a bit of naked truth, and Manon even found that she wanted to open up to him. «There’s not really much to tell. My mom died when I was very, very little, and my dad has never been in the picture.»

«So it’s always been just you and your grandmother?» 

«Yeah.» And Asterin.

«Don’t you wonder what they were like?»

«I mean of course, but not really. They’re both practically strangers. My grandmother barely talks about my mom. She made a lot of bad choices, I think.» 

Dorian nodded, eyes closing.

Manon did wonder, though. She often wondered who she looked like the most, who she acted like the most, or if she was all her grandmother’s influence at this point. 

When she was little, she’d fantasized about what it would be like if she’d been raised by her mother and father instead.

Guilt struck her. Her grandmother had always made sure she’d had everything she needed, had kept her fed, clothed, made sure she had a roof over her head. Manon should be grateful for the sacrifices she’d made.

Yet her mind kept spinning, images forming of a soft voice asking her how her day had been, two proud faces smiling at her from the audience of a dance recital, a fridge covered in childish drawings and then tests, even if a bright red B adorned them. 

Manon tried to ignore the way her eyes stung as she found Dorian’s hand under the blanket, taking it in hers. 

The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was Dorian mouthing thank you, and Abraxos suddenly appearing, curling against them both at the foot of the bed.

A/N: This was a very heavy chapter to write, and I've been dreading it for a long time, knowing it would be difficult. Don't hesitate to let me know if there was anything you found offensive, hurtful, or just not okay. I'm always open to learn, and the good thing about fanfiction is that it can be edited anytime;) On another note, there are brighter times ahead (for a little while, at least), and next chapter revolves around a long-awaited conversation. A huge thank you to everyone who still reads even though I sorta neglected this baby...:)

Peace&Love Dawninlatin

Taglist: @fireheartfaery @bookishwitchling @gwynethhberdara @darklingswhxore @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @rainbowcheetah512 @mirubyjane @zoyalovesbooks​ 

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you’d like to be added!

[dawninlatin]

You talk in your sleep

A Nessian One Shot

Words: 974

AO3 Link

Masterlist

A/N: what's up my dudes?!

this complete shitshow of a fic was inspired by this wonderful tiktok (watch it, you won't regret it) https://vm.tiktok.com/JMYaoct/

also huge thanks to @/QueenAmidyen from AO3 and @caotica-e-quieta from Tumblr for requesting more Nessian<3 hope you like it even if i have no idea what i'm doing anymore:)

enjoy!

The two things Nesta Archeron valued most in life were her mate, Cassian, and sleeping. Nothing would ever beat the feeling of those strong arms of his wrapped around her, surrounded by heavy blankets and the soothing scent of her mate as she slept, her body finally relaxing after a long day.

Too bad Cassian was the most restless sleeper she had ever encountered.

During the nights, Nesta often found herself roused from her deep slumber by his ridiculous antics.

Cassian rarely stayed still, tossing and turning his enormous body to the point where, on multiple occaisions, Nesta had been slapped in the face by one of his massive wings.

Then there was the blanket-hogging. No matter how many blankets Nesta obtained, he always managed to gather them all into a tight ball and wrap his body around it, leaving Nesta exposed to the chilly temperature of the Illyrian Mountains.

At least he didn’t walk in his sleep, for Nesta wasn’t entirely sure if she would bother to go after him, should he choose to leave their bed.

Yet, the worst part wasn’t the tossing, or the blanket-hogging, it was the talking.

Practically every night, Nesta was woken up by her mate spewing some nonsense. Whether it was bits and pieces from what he was dreaming, or random words strung together, not even forming actual sentences.

One time, he’d let out a horrified gasp, frantically clinging to her like a frightened child. «What’s wrong?» Nesta had asked, trying to calm him.

Cassian had only tightened his grip around her, while slurring, «He’s here! He’s coming to get me!»

«What the fuck are you talking about? Who’s coming to get you?» she’d hissed back at her mate, just wanting to go back to sleep.

Lifting his head, he’d looked around the room , searching for this unknown threat. Then he’d leaned close to her ear, whispering, «Bryaxis! He’s here!»

Nesta’d had to stifle a laugh at the mention of the beast that was so seemingly terrifying that it made the Lord of Bloodshed himself go pale just by being mentioned. Instead, she merely patted Cassian on the shoulder, telling him, «Go back to sleep, love. I’ll keep you safe. Promise.»

«Okay,» was all he’d said, calming back down with a smile on his face, still clinging to Nesta.

She’d told this story to his brothers once, when it had just been the three of them. Azriel had started laughing so hard he nearly fell of his chair. Nesta had never seen the Shadowsinger so undone.

Rhys and Azriel had proceeded to tell her that they had shared a room with Cassian for fifteen years, so they had their fair share of amusing stories to tell as well.

As the night went on, they’d begun passing a bottle of whiskey around the room, exchanging stories of ridiculous things Cassian had said in his sleep. Everything from «In fact, I look delicious today!» to, «Must. Defeat. All. The. Bats.»

After that night, Nesta, Rhys and Azriel had formed a support group, of sorts, where they met monthly to share their struggles. And Nesta wasn’t the only one being kept up at night. Feyre, it seemed, could put any grown man to shame with her snoring.

Nesta had long ago settled with the fact that being woken up at night was simply a part of living with Cassian. They had tried to put an end to it, but nothing had worked so far.

Sleeping potions made his dreams more vivid and it became harder for Nesta to wake him up. Then Nesta had tried to sleep with a pair of earmuffs on, but they were very uncomfortable, and her adorable idiot of a mate had even had the audacity to take them off, just so he could tell her, «They sparkle, Nesta.» The last resort had been sleeping in separate rooms. She had lasted a full hour before she’d wrapped a blanket around herself and dragged her feet across the hall to Cassian’s room, curling up against him.

Tonight was one of the more restless nights, it seemed.

Laying on her side with her back to Cassian, she could hear him tossing and turning, frantically mumbling to himself.

«Have to go back-»

«How could you be such an idiot?»

«Hmmph»

She couldn’t fully make out his words, but Nesta figured it had to be important, judging by how upset he seemed. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she turned at last, ready to get it over with so she could go back to sleep.

It was dark around them, but she could make out Cassian’s form, and his hands, which were gesturing wildly.

«What’s the matter?» she whispered to him.

«The trees, Nesta, we forgot the trees!!» he grabbed her by the shoulders, his eyes wild and his voice frenzied.

She had no idea what he was talking about, and she told him as much.

«We have to go get them! How could I forget?»

Nesta still had no idea what he meant, but she decided to play along, telling him, «We’lll get them in the morning, Cassian. Now go to sleep.»

«Oh, okay,» he nodded, all serious.

Just as she thought he’d settled, he put his arms around her and mumbled, «You’re the best tree of them all.» She didn’t even have the time to ask him what the hell he was talking about before his breathing evened out and he was out like a light.

So Nesta only smiled to herself, at how annoyingly adorable her mate was.

And while there were nights like these, where his restless slumber disturbed her own, there were also the nights they spent wrapped around one another in deep, peaceful sleep, his warm body and  steady heartbeat keeping her calm and content.

Nesta wouldn’t  trade it for anything in the whole world.

[dawninlatin]

@ladywitchling I can’t give you Lorcan, but I can give you a teeny, tiny snippet of the Malide Christmas fic I’m working on<3 

«Are you sure you’re fine with being alone on Christmas?»

Manon couldn’t help but sigh, hoping that Asterin wouldn’t hear it through the phone. She appreciated her cousin’s worrying, but calling four times a day to check in was a bit excessive.

«Yes, Asterin.» She twisted in her office chair, opening her laptop. «It’s not as if we ever did anything special for Christmas anyway.» Manon glanced at the clock, then at the amount of unopened emails. It would be a while before she was done for the day, but she didn’t mind. It wasn’t as if anyone was at home waiting for her.

‘tis the damn season coming sometime before December 25th

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace snippet

To further motivate myself to finish Queen of Peace chapter 12 (it has words now! it’s a miracle!) I decided to share a ‘lil snippet:)

“Collecting himself, he let out a long breath before he, too, headed towards the door. To math, and the company of one Aelin Galathynius.

He was so screwed.”

[dawninlatin]

Haste

A Feysand Modern AU One Shot

Words: 4433

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Feyre comes back home after quitting college and breaking up with her boyfriend. During a night out, she starts seeing her friend Rhys in a new light. (Warning: There is some smut by the end)

The title comes from the song “Haste” by RY X, and if you wanna vibe, I suggest you go listen to it:)

A/N: Sorry for how long this note is, guess I had a lot to say, lol. This is actually the first fic I ever wrote, but I wanted to repost it, because I had only posted the AO3 link before, and wasn’t happy with that format. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my amazing followers and readers!<3 

When reading through this fic, there were so many things I wanted to change, (like, why did I think it was a good idea to have every other word written in italics?? And I’m so sorry for the cheesy dialogue and suuuuper long paragraphs...), but I decided to keep it as it was, because it shows how far I’ve come from that day in February where I sat up half the night writing, thinking that no one would ever read this, because my English wasn’t good enough, and my writing wasn’t good enough. 

Yet I still posted it, and the response I got was more than I ever expected! This, along with all the other response I’ve gotten on all my other fics, has helped me so much with my writing, but more importantly, has helped me become the person I am today. So thank you so much, to everyone who takes the time to read, to everyone who likes, and reblogs, and leaves comments, and keep encouraging me! Thank you to all you wonderful people I have gotten to know on this app, tumblr has become a second home for me! From the bottom of my heart, I love y’all!<3<3<3

This was not how Feyre had pictured her night. Had she been the one to decide, it would consist of greasy pizza, a bottle of tequila and some crappy rom-com. Feyre had gotten as far as scrolling through Netflix in search for one, when her best friend Mor walked in the door of the apartment and declared that Feyre better get her ass of that couch, take a fucking shower and put on some decent clothing, because they were going out.

Feyre hadn’t felt like she was in the right position to protest; it was Mor’s couch she’d been occupying for the past week after all. Had it been a week already? she wondered. A week since Feyre had finally broken up with her asshole boyfriend Tamlin and then jumped on a bus to California, because the only person in the world she wanted to be with then was Mor. She had felt the need to share this victory with the only person that could always make her feel better. Of course, the high had ended as soon as she stood on Mor’s doorstep, where she had taken one look at her best friend and turned into a sobbing mess. That was about how she had spent the following week as well. She didn’t want to cry over the bastard, but he had been part of her life for the past two years, and she had loved him. Once.

So instead of spending the night on Mor's couch, wallowing in self pity, Feyre now found herself standing in the middle of a dance club crowded with drunk, sweaty people, playing way too loud music - the blinking lights making her dizzy. She had borrowed one of Mor’s dresses - and though this was considered modest in Mor’s eyes - she found herself constantly pulling at the black fabric, not comfortable with how much thigh it showed off.

Feyre scanned the room, trying to find her friend, and as she was about to declare the task impossible, she eyed a red dress and a head of blond curls. Mor was elbowing her way through the crowd, drinks in hand, accompanied by two men Feyre recognized. The tall, muscular one with shoulder-length, dark hair and a cocky smirk was Cassian, and the slightly shorter one with a shy smile was Azriel.

As they approached her, Cassian went in for a one-armed hug. «It’s good to see you Feyre!» He grinned at her, and she found herself grinning back despite her unhappy mood earlier. She really had missed these people.

«Hi Feyre, you look well!» Feyre looked up to see Azriel smiling at her, accompanied by an awkward wave. He was more of the quiet, observing type of guy, but that was exactly what Feyre liked so much about him. He was quiet, yes, but the silence was never uncomfortable.

«You as well, Azriel.» She smiled back at him, then turned towards Mor, who handed her a drink.

«Don’t look so shy Feyre. You look amazing tonight!» Mor winked at her, then gestured to the rest of the club. «You should have seen all the guys eyeing you when we walked in. Actually…if you hadn’t been my best friend, and straight-» she made a disappointed face at that, which made their whole group laugh, including Feyre, «-I totally would have slept with you.» Feyre laughed even more at that, but Mor was right. She felt good tonight. Sexy, even. She felt something she hadn’t felt in a long way. She was excited for what the night - the future - would bring.

«I might not wanna sleep with you, but I think that brunette at the bar wants to.» Feyre nodded her head towards the young woman ogling her friend.

«Hell yes!» Mor exclaimed. She put her arms around Feyre and Azriel’s shoulders. «Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we’re gonna get laid!»

«Cheers to that!» Cassian laughed, lifting his drink. As Feyre sipped hers, she felt light, almost giddy, with excitement and joy. At the same moment, she noticed someone was missing from their small gathering. Rhys.

She couldn’t fathom how she hadn’t noticed before. Mor’s annoying cousin was difficult to ignore whenever he was present. The prick always teased, always came with innuendos, or witty remarks. He had the biggest ego Feyre had ever encountered. Still, Feyre found herself to be missing Rhysand’s snarky comments and their never-ending banter. Before she had time to stop herself, she spoke the sentence: «Hey guys, where’s Rhys?»

Cassian wiggled his eyebrows at her, but she chose to ignore him. «He’s coming later. Had to work overtime» Mor answered. Feyre nodded, before quickly switching the subject over to their plans for the rest of the summer.

-

As soon as they had some alcohol in their blood, Feyre and her small group of friends moved on to the dance floor. Feyre was jumping around, singing along to whatever song they were blasting, joking and laughing with Mor and Cassian, teasing Azriel for not wanting to join them. They looked like idiots, but they were happy idiots. She could feel the heavy bass in her whole body, along with her beating heart. She was so, so happy . Happier than all of last year combined. Hell, she hadn’t been this happy since high school, when she, Mor, Cassian, Azriel, even Rhys, had been together almost every day. Always laughing, joking. But that had been before Tamlin, and before she had been stupid enough to move halfway across the country for college.

Feyre scolded herself for thinking about Tamlin again. The point of tonight was to forget him. To have fun. And she was having fun, and she was happy. So happy that at any moment she could grow wings and disappear into the night. She had no worries. No worries of the home she had left behind, or college, or her ex-boyfriend, or what tomorrow would bring. She was here, now, and she felt fucking amazing.

Feyre heard Cassian greet someone, and turned just in time to meet a pair of shockingly blue eyes. Rhys. Her breath caught, her heart thundering in her chest, and she found herself not being able to look away. He held her gaze, refusing to be the first to break eye contact. Feyre didn’t know if it was the lights, the music, the alcohol, the warm summer night, still young and full of possibilities, or the feeling of finally being free, but it was as if she was seeing him for the first time.

Had he always been this handsome? she asked herself, taking in his lean, muscular form, his tight-fitting jeans, the white shirt opened just enough to show off the tattoos swirling across his chest. She stared at his sharp jawline, his soft lips, his eyes, so blue they were practically glowing, his dark, messy hair. Oh, how she wanted to run her fingers through his hair.

A cough from Mor made Feyre tear her eyes away at last. I must be drunker than I thought , she mused. This was Rhys she was thinking about. The man who annoyed her to no end. The man who was known for his many hook-ups and one night stands and flirts and just- argh.

«How nice of you to finally show up,» Cassian said as he threw an arm around Rhys’ shoulder and handed him a drink. Rhys made a comment that had Cassian roaring with laughter, but Feyre didn’t hear what it was, because Rhys was looking at her with such an intensity that it made her insides tingle. Stop it, she thought. You had a boyfriend just a week ago.

«Hey Feyre. It’s good to see you again.» Rhys smiled at her, but it wasn’t his usual cocky smirk. It almost looked a little sad. Feyre suddenly found the floor very interesting, not being able to keep herself from blushing or biting her lip. She could feel his eyes on her. Burning. Then Mor shouted «Who wants shots?», and the moment was over.

-

The night went on. They drank, they danced, they talked about college and hook-ups and high school. Feyre almost wanted to cry at the feeling of how familiar it all was. She had been afraid that her moving to Boston would change everything - and it had, for a little while - but she was back now, and everything was normal. Except for Rhys, maybe. Something had definitely changed between the two of them.

Gone was the teasing and never-ending banter. In its place was something brand new. They hadn’t said anything to one another except for pleasantries for the entirety of the evening, but Feyre caught him staring at her constantly, with this sad, longing look in his eyes. And to be honest, she hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off of him either.

Right now, they were all sitting at the bar, watching Cassian stick his tongue down the throat of some random blonde on the dance floor. Mor suddenly stood up, announcing she was gonna go try her luck with the woman she had been flirting with all night.

«Come on, Azriel. You’re gonna be my wingman.» His protest died on his lips as More pulled him after her.

All there was left, was Feyre and Rhys. Not able to meet each others eyes.

But Feyre was feeling brave this night. It might have been the alcohol, or the still-lingering high of having broken up with the asshole that had made her life miserable for the past year. She muttered a quiet «fuck it», downed her drink, stood up, and looked her friend straight in the eyes. «Do you wanna dance?»

Rhys’s face was lit up by a bright smile. «I thought you’d never ask, Feyre darling.» Her insides warmed at the familiar nickname, and she found herself smiling just as brightly. Rhys took her hand, leading her to the dance floor, where some old EDM shit was playing.

Feyre didn’t care about the bad music, or the bright lights, or the sweat coating her body. She was here with Rhys. His body was so close now, and she could smell his all-familiar scent of citrus and sea.

She lost track of how long they danced. None of them were any good at it, but they were laughing and having fun. Feyre felt 17 again, jumping around, sweaty and drunk, but happy. «God, I missed this!» she exclaimed, grinning at Rhys, just as the fast rhythms and heavy bass switched over to a slow ballad.

Hesitantly, Feyre glanced at Rhys, suddenly feeling shy and unsure. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question. She understood what he meant immediately, and nodded, biting her lip. Rhys stepped closer, and put his arms around her waist. She placed hers around his neck, swaying along with the music.

She looked at the man in front of her. Really looked at him this time. How had she not noticed before, how strikingly beautiful he was? His sharp angles, kissable lips, silky hair, the blue eyes she could get lost in if she stared for too long. Said eyes were taking in her just as intensely at the moment.

«You are so beautiful tonight, Feyre.» His voice was hoarse, laced with restraint. Feyre felt a longing, deep within herself. She wanted to tell him he was beautiful too, wanted to kiss him, wanted to cry, wanted to just leave, wanted to stay in his arms forever. She wanted to be his.  She did neither, couldn’t find the courage to do so.

Instead, she stepped closer, and pressed her forehead against his, feeling his strained breath against her lips. Everything around them disappeared. The world narrowing down to the two of them, together, forehead against forehead, in the midst of a warm night in June.

Then the song ended, and the moment was over. Feyre stepped back, but she continued to hold his gaze. Rhys looked towards the exit. «Come, I wanna show you something.» He grabbed her hand, and then he was leading her through the crowd. They walked past Mor, who muttered a «fucking finally!» that made them both chuckle.

Outside, they were surrounded by warm, summer air, a chill breeze running over their exposed skin. Rhys looked at Feyre with mischief in his eyes. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

«What exactly was it that you wanted to show me?» she asked, not being able to hide her curiosity.

«You’ll see, just trust me.» Rhys looked giddy with excitement. He was bouncing on his feet now. «Follow me, we don’t wanna miss it.» Then he started walking. Fast.

«Miss what?» Feyre shouted after him, but he didn’t answer. Rhys just kept on walking, and she struggled to keep up with him. «I have shorter legs than you, remember? And I’m currently in heals, which puts me at an unfair disadvantage.» He stopped a few steps ahead, an amused look on his face.

«We have to wait a few minutes now,» he announced, all serious. Feyre looked around where they were standing, a few blocks away from the club. The whole city was sleeping. The sight of the quiet, empty streets bewitching.

Then a bright, yellow bus stopped in front of them. Also empty. She followed Rhys onto it, confusion growing more and more. «The bus? Where exactly are we going?»

The puzzled look on Feyre's face made him chuckle. «I swear, the mystery will be worth it once we get there. Now, we could have walked, but then we would miss it.» He must have seen the question forming on her lips, because he raised a finger. «And no, I still won’t tell you what it is.»

She rolled her eyes and muttered a quiet «prick». The nickname made him laugh, and she laughed with him, because Feyre hadn’t called him that since high school. It had been way too long since they’d been together like this. Still, under all the joking and laughing, there was an unfamiliar tension that hadn’t been there before.

-

After only five minutes, Rhys announced that they had reached their destination. He stepped out onto the street, and led Feyre towards a beach. The sight in front of her was breathtaking. The dark waves crashing against the sand, the sky - the nearing dawn making it a deep pink - birds flying over their heads, and Rhys, who had taken off his shoes and started walking towards the ocean. Feyre followed him, slipping out of her heels. The moment she felt the familiar California sand under her toes again, she laughed with joy. A rich and warm sound she hadn’t made in forever.

Rhys, who was standing in the water now, looked up at her, the same bright smile on his face. He waved at her to hurry up, and she walked the final steps to him. The sea was warm, and the salty smell of it was amazing. It was home. She looked towards the horizon, where the sun barely had begun to rise. Then she looked up at Rhys again.

«The sunrise. That’s what you wanted to show me.»  Rhys only nodded, before looking ahead of them. Feyre took in the sight again, and she felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She wanted, no, she needed to paint.

Her thoughts were disturbed by Rhys, who was now sitting in the sand, jeans cuffed up to his knees. «Come sit with me, Feyre.» He patted the spot next to him.

Feyre stepped back and sat down, feeling the waves crash against her legs. She looked to Rhys, and said the only thing that could come to her mind with a playful smirk on her lips. «How did your dad take it when he found out his only son was gonna major in English, and not business?»

Rhys grimaced. «He was pissed at first, even threatened to write me out of his will, but he came around - eventually.» They chuckled at that, both knowing how angry Rhys’ father could get, but also how he always gave in when it came to his children. «How about you? How’s all the art stuff going?» Rhys asked, his eyebrows raised in question.

«Urgh,» Feyre cringed, «I dropped out in March, haven’t touched a paint brush since.» She should have been sad or ashamed when admitting that, but she felt good, knowing she had made the right choice. She had been miserable in Boston.

Rhys looked at her, concern lining his face. «That bad, huh?»

«What can I say? Boston sucked, and I would much rather be here, with you guys.» She grinned at him, and he grinned back.

«So you’re back for good now?» Feyre only nodded, turning back towards the rising sun.

The sight in front of her was hypnotizing. «I didn’t realize how much I’ve really missed home.» The words were out before she managed to think. Rhys only hummed quietly beside her. Seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Feyre turned towards him. His eyes were closed, a small smile on his lips. «What’s on your mind?» she wondered out loud.

Rhys opened his eyes then, and looked at her. «A thought for thought?» he suggested. She smiled at the reminder of the little game they used to play when they were younger. «I can begin,» he continued.

He looked towards the horizon again, taking a deep breath. «I’m thinking that when I walked into the club tonight, I was so happy to see you, because you were so happy. You were dancing and laughing and I thought that finally we had gotten our Feyre back. After you left for Boston, and after you met him, it was as if you disappeared.» Feyre tried to swallow the lump in her throat. He sounded wounded, almost. Did he really care about her that much?

«You visited, of course, but it was like a stranger had replaced you. You were a shell of who you once used to be. You stopped laughing, stopped making inappropriate jokes, and I missed you. God, I missed you so much.» Feyre felt like she might cry at his words, but she didn’t. All she did was stare ahead, and take his hand. She squeezed it, encouraging him to continue. He squeezed back.

«As I said, when I saw you tonight, I was sure we had gotten the old Feyre back. Mor told me what had happened in Boston - why you were back - and I was sure that everything would return to normal between us.» He took a break, clearly anxious of saying what was next.

«But everything isn’t back to normal. Something has changed. I can feel it, and I think you can too.» He looked at her now, that intense longing once again in his eyes. She met his gaze, and suddenly felt brave enough to say:

«I can feel the change too, yes, but I think it’s a good change.» Then she leaned in, and kissed him.

Rhys went completely still at first, and Feyre was afraid that she had misunderstood their conversation. Then he seemed to realize what was happening. He put one arm around her waist, the other tangling in her hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.

His lips tasted salty, she thought, but sweet at the same time. She could get drunk on him alone. Feyre was breathless, and dizzy, but she decided this was the best feeling in the world.

She was kissing Rhys.

He pressed his tongue against her lips, and she opened up for him, moaning at the sensation. She put her hands in his hair, slightly pulling at it. The silky strands feeling soft in her fingers.

Kissing Rhys was everything, but at the same time it was not enough. She needed more. Needed to be closer, needed to feel more of him. She pulled away slightly, breathless, heart thundering, blood rushing in her ears. Rhys looked at her, just as breathless, a hungry gleam in his eyes. «How far is it to your place?» He only smirked in answer.

Rhys stood up, picking Feyre up with him. She laughed as he almost dropped her, then she wrapped her legs around his waist. He didn’t walk far before they reached a small house. Rhys put her down, pulled a pair of keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the door.

Feyre marveled at the place as they stepped inside. It was small, but it was stunning. Large glass windows facing the ocean, green plants covering every available surface, and several over-filled bookshelves. She turned to look at Rhys, who had stopped in the doorway, staring at her taking in his place, surprise clearly written on her face. She took a step towards him. Then another. And another, until their mouths crashed together again.

Rhys moved his lips over her jaw, down her throat, her neck. Feyre moaned, struggling to get his shirt off fast enough, both minds clouded with lust and the haste to be as close together as possible. Skin to skin.

She finally managed to open the last button, pulling off the fabric. Feyre took in his muscled, tan chest and the many tattoos covering it. She leaned forward, and pressed her lips to the spot right above his heart. She could feel it hammering beneath his skin. She moved upwards, ghosting them over his collarbone, his neck, his throat, his jawline, then finally his lip.

Rhys grabbed her face, kissing her with such an intensity it made her dizzy. She was about to start fumbling with his belt when Rhys pulled away. «Are you sure you want this?» he asked, all out of breath, voice cracking, and Feyre would have thought his consideration and worry to be cute, had she not been so desperate to press her naked body against his. So she only nodded, and stepped back to pull her dress over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra.

That seemed to be the end of Rhys' restraint. He took a step towards her, grabbed her under her thighs, and hoisted her up so she was sitting with her legs around his waist. Feyre moaned at the feeling of him pressing against her, hard and ready, and she felt a warm throbbing between her own legs.

Feyre let out a breathy «why the hell do you still have pants on?» that made Rhys chuckle. She felt the sound moving through his whole body. He walked across the room, laid her down on the bed and quickly got rid of his pants. Feyre almost drooled at the sight of his large cock. She reached out a hand and stroked him through the thin fabric of his boxers. Rhys groaned at the feeling, and leaned over her, placing his mouth on one of her nipples.

It felt exquisite. Rhys, his wandering hands, her body tingling with sensation, his hot mouth on her skin. She needed more, more, more. Feyre pulled his cock free, and he kicked of his underwear. One of his hands reached the band of her own panties, a finger dipping into her core, then slowly circling her clit.

It was too much and not enough and she needed more. Rhys slid off her underwear, and all of a sudden there was nothing between them. «Do you have a condom?» Feyre didn’t know how she managed to form words at this point, but he reached behind her and grabbed one. Feyre took it and rolled it on him, while his mouth explored every inch of her breasts, and his hand slowly stroked the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

Feyre needed him inside her, now. She lined his cock up with her entrance, then she looked him in the eyes. He took her hint, slowly, oh so slowly, pushing himself in, not breaking eye contact.

Feyre moaned at the feeling of him filling her, widening her. He was thick and warm and it felt amazing. She pulled his mouth to hers, and he pressed his tongue inside her, filling her in two places. He pulled out slightly, then pushed in to the hilt this time. Rhys groaned at the sensation, his hand still drawing circles over her clit.

It felt so good, she was seeing stars. The wave inside her rising and rising with no end as Rhys picked up his pace, slamming to the hilt and hitting that magic spot every. damn. time.

Words like more or faster or deeper filled the warm air around them. Rhys buried his head between her shoulder and neck, moaning her name. Feyre felt her pussy clench around him, nearing that sweet, sweet edge. «Rhys, I need to…»

He seemed to understand what she meant, because he went even faster, fingers pressing down against her clit, and fuck it felt so good! His eyes met her eyes, his forehead pressed against her forehead, and she felt his words as a breath against her lips. «Come, Feyre.»

Those words pushed her over the edge immediately, wave crashing over her like nothing ever had before. It lasted a lifetime. That sweet, unending pleasure. She clenched around him again and again, until he started losing control, losing rhythm, and at last he came with her, groaning.

When it was over, the world around them went quiet. The sun was shining through the curtains, a new day beginning, Rhys collapsed on top of Feyre, stroking her disheveled hair away from her face. «That was…» she didn’t know how to end that sentence. She wanted to stay here with him forever. Just the two of them. Skin to skin.

Rhys looked at her, amusement coloring his face. «Intense?» he suggested. Feyre chuckled, tapping her fingers against his chest. He pulled out, turned on his back, taking her with him, so that she lay on his chest, ear placed right over his heart.

«I was gonna go with best sex of my life, but intense works too I guess.» He laughed at that. A warm, loud laughter that she could feel in her whole body. He kissed the top of her head, and pulled a blanked over them.

As Feyre lay there, feeling Rhys draw slow circles on her back, listening to the waves, letting the steady beat of his heart and the sound of his even breaths lull her to sleep, she knew that nothing would ever be the same after this night. She felt almost electric with excitement over what the rest of the summer would bring. One thing she was sure of, Rhys would be part of it.

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 13

A manorian high school AU

Words: 2563

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Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

Oh, the queen of peace

Always does her best to please

But is it any use?

Somebody’s gotta lose

-Florence + The Machine, Queen of Peace

The music roared out of the speakers, and Manon moved her body to the rhythm, letting herself get lost in the upbeat tones. She had done this a dozen times by now, memorized this choreography weeks ago. 

But then she turned to the right, and it wasn’t Asterin dancing beside her - as it had always been - it was Sorrel. 

It startled her enough that she halted and messed up a few steps. Manon caught up with the others, but she was unable to pour her heart into it like she usually did. Her mind was too busy thinking about Asterin, worrying whether she was okay or not after their grandmother had kicked her out.

Manon had seen her at school a few times in the following weeks, but they hadn’t talked, and she doubted they would. Asterin probably hated her now, after all the horrible things Manon had said to her. 

Getting kicked out is the least you deserve after getting yourself knocked up by a boy who will leave at the first sign of some real responsibility. Don’t come crawling to me when you find yourself homeless and heartbroken. You’re off the dance team, by the way.

Manon hadn’t meant what she said, not really, but maybe this was for the better…

Her grandmother had made it very clear that she was not to talk with Asterin anymore, and Asterin avoiding her, hating her, made everything much easier.

Yet, if it made things easier, why did it also make her so sad? The house had been awfully quiet these weeks, so quiet it was near-stifling. Manon hadn’t realized how different, how empty, home would be without Asterin there.

Stop moping around you sad, pathetic fool!

Manon mentally scolded herself, forcing her attention back to the dancing. She couldn’t keep letting this distract her. Asterin was simply an obstacle who no longer stood in the way of her future.

Finishing the rest of the choreography, she ignored the desperate, disappointed voice inside her head that whispered; you’re beginning to sound like her.

When the music faded into nothing and her body stopped moving, Manon put on her usual mask of cold, calculating boredom and turned towards her team. She immediately knew something was up, as they were all looking at her as if they had something to say, but didn’t dare say it.

«What,» Manon said, more an order than a question. If they had all decided to gang up against her, she only wanted to get it over with. 

The girls exchanged wary glances, before Sorrel took a step forward and said, «We need Asterin on this choreo.» Manon was surprised when Vesta, who leaned against the wall with her arms crossed, stayed silent for once.

With a sigh, Manon answered Sorrel, «And why the hell do we need Asterin?» 

Yet again did they all look at each other, as if this was something they’d discussed behind her back. The icy feeling of betrayal snaked its way up Manon’s spine.

«Because it’s always been the thirteen of us. We’re off-balance without Asterin.» It was Ghislaine who spoke this time.

«You’ve said it yourself,» Briar shot in from the back of the room. «If just one of us is missing, the entire team falls apart!»

It was when Vesta finally opened her mouth that she snapped. «And you slipped up today, Manon. Several times!» 

«I have no idea what you’re talking about,» Manon hissed, clenching her fists so hard it hurt. «You have been distracted today, hell, you’ve been distracted, lazy and off-beat all week!»

«Because Asterin-» Vesta begun, but Manon didn’t let her finish.

«I don’t wanna hear another word about Asterin! It was her own stupidity that got her kicked off the team, and if you, all of you, don’t start working a bit harder, I won’t hesitate to replace you with someone else!»

The room was unbearably quiet when she was done talking, and Manon could hear her own heart thundering inside her chest. She had to stay calm, couldn’t let them see her fall apart, even if that was what she felt like doing right now. She was losing control, she was-

«I can talk to Asterin today if-»

«GET OUT!» 

Manon’s blood was boiling at the audacity of Vesta. Why couldn’t they understand that Asterin, with her carelessness, was jeopardizing everything they had worked towards? 

Her grandmother had been clear in her orders: everything had to be perfect, so they had to win nationals, which they couldn’t do when one of the teammates first of all didn’t bother showing up to half of the rehearsals, and second of all, would be heavily pregnant come spring.

When everyone had left, and Manon was alone once more, she didn’t let herself brood over the fight they’d just had, didn’t let herself recognize how awful this made her feel. She simply turned the music back on, and forgot.

She forgot everything she’d promised her grandmother, forgot the math test she’d butchered earlier today, forgot the fact that her whole dance team had probably just quit, forgot that she had no control over anything in her life anymore.

Yet as she kept moving her exhausted body, one thought remained. One of piercing blue eyes and soft lips.

And when she remembered that she had an actual date with him the next day, Manon smiled, despite everything.

-

«Why are you looking at me like that?»

How am I supposed to not look at you? Dorian wondered. Manon was radiant where she sat with her body leaned back, eyes closed, face tipped towards the sky. She was smiling softly, the autumn sun making her white-blonde hair glow.

Instead of telling her that, Dorian went with: «I’m just wondering what you’re thinking. You went quiet all of a sudden.»

She had. They’d been sitting here for hours now, under the huge oak tree in the park, eating and laughing and talking, but now she was silent, a calm, contemplating aura around her. 

Manon hummed in answer, before opening her eyes and twisting towards him. «I’m just…savoring the moment, I guess.» Her mouth quirked to the side, the movement making her nose scrunch, and Dorian had to let out a chuckle.

«Now who’s the cliché?» 

She’d been playfully mocking him for his picnic this whole time, even asking him if he was aware that they weren’t in every high school movie ever made. Dorian had begged to differ, telling her that the only reason it was a cliché, was because it worked.

And it did. After a while, Manon had reluctantly agreed that yes, maybe it was a little romantic. The admission had been accompanied by an eye-roll, of course, but what else could you expect?

«What time is it?» Manon asked after a moment. 

Dorian scrambled for his phone, finding it half-lodged under the picnic basket. «It’s almost 3pm,» he said, marveling over how much time had passed. He could spend all day like this, just talking about all and nothing with Manon. No matter what they discussed, she surprised him with her answers, whether it be a funny joke or an unusually deep thought, offering a new perspective on things. 

«I should head home soon,» she sighed, but Manon made no sign of getting up. Instead she laid down, Dorian joining her. «My grandmother will start to ask questions if I’m late.»

From what he’d gathered, Manon’s grandmother was very strict, especially when it came to boys, and Manon had told her she was studying at the library today. She rarely talked about her family, and whenever they touched on the subject, she quickly started talking about something else. Dorian knew not to ask questions, though. She would open up when and if she was ready, and those moments often came at the most unexpected times. 

«I had a lot of fun today, you know. Even if I still think you just googled date ideas and went with the first hit.» Dorian laughed at that, his stomach filling with what could only be described as butterflies. 

«Does that mean you would want to do it again?» They were lying on their backs, face to face, and all Dorian could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her.

It had been weeks since their kiss in the library, but they hadn’t been able to do it again. All they’d gotten was stolen moments in between classes and late-night texts, their busy schedules making sure of that. Until now, that was.

«I would love to,» Manon offered, answering his question. «But next time I decide what we’re doing.»

«Deal,» Dorian grinned, his eyes staying fixed on her lips as she spoke.

Moments passed, the tension between them tangible, and then Manon whispered, «Is it weird that I really wanna kiss you right now?»

That was all it took for Dorian to crash his lips into hers. 

The kiss was exploring at first, her lips so soft and so perfect. He’d thought about their moment in the library constantly in the past weeks, but his memory could never do it justice, he knew now. This was the real thing, the real Manon, and she was bewitching. No other word could describe the experience that was kissing her.

Dorian pulled her closer, and Manon placed her hands in his hair. He had to continuously remind himself that they were outside, in the middle of a park, and anyone could walk by at any moment.

Yet he couldn’t stop either. Their mouths had gone from searching to ravenous, both of them trying to get closer to the other. Manon nudged him with her tongue, and he opened up for her, the taste of her exquisite.

His blood heated, skin becoming incredibly tight all of a sudden. He could keep doing this forever.

But they had to pull apart at some point to simply just breathe. And they did.

Manon let her forehead rest against his as they both panted slightly, Dorian reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. «I really should go now,» she murmured against his lips, leaning in to kiss him once more. 

It was Dorian who pulled away this time, stroking her cheek. «I’ll see you later then.»

«Yeah,» she sighed, standing up in one smooth movement. The air around Dorian suddenly became unbearably cold. 

After Manon had picked up her jacket, ready to leave, she halted for a moment, and said, «I meant it when I said today was fun.» 

Then she leaned down to place a swift kiss on his cheek, stood back up and walked away, leaving him alone, all flustered. 

Dorian had to wait a moment before he could get up himself, because his pants had just become very tight. His face was burning at the fact, but he forced himself to think of dead puppies and his parents fighting and his gym teacher in those tiny shorts he insisted on wearing.

That last image was particularly horrifying, but it seemed to do the trick. Then, Dorian picked up his phone, only to find fifty new messages from Aelin in their group chat.

Sighing, he began to skim through the thread.

Aelin: Do you guys have plans for today?

Aelin: Rowan is busy

Aelin: And I’m bored

Aelin: Hellooooo

Chaol: I’m guessing I have plans now…

Aelin: I can actually hear how hard you’re sighing right now Chaol

Aelin: We’re seeing a movie today

Chaol: When?

Then there was a lot of planning back and forth, and both Chaol and Aelin trying to reach Dorian. The last message he got was a selfie of his best friends glaring at him, the text reading: Come hang out with us loser.

So Dorian stood, feeling lighter than ever, and began calling Aelin to hear where they were.

-

Stepping into the narrow hallway of her home, Manon carefully closed the door behind her, trying to stay as quiet as possible in case her grandmother was working. 

She hung her coat on the rack and turned her phone on silent. She rarely got any notifications, but that was before Dorian. Now they sent messages back and forth at all hours, most of it silly nonsense.

«Manon, is that you?» her grandmother called from the kitchen. Letting out a shaky breath, Manon made her facial expression that of someone who had studied in a library for hours and definitely hadn’t just made out with a hot boy.

Listen to yourself, you sound like some lovesick girl from those movies you hate so much, Manon mentally yelled, rolling her eyes at how annoying her internal monologue was becoming.

«Yeah, I’m back.» She stopped by the doorway to the kitchen on the way to her room, where her grandmother was sitting by the table, laptop open in front of her.

The woman glanced up at the clock on the wall, before looking back at Manon, her eyes searching. «You stayed at the library for a long time.»

Manon had to fight to stay fully still, to not flinch at her grandmothers words. She couldn’t know, could she? Putting on a fake smile, Manon said, «I just got into a really good workflow, didn’t wanna quit.»

Her breaths were getting faster, and she could feel the panic sneaking up on her.

Just keep it together until you’re alone! She always asks questions like these.

«I’m almost done with the history assignment,» she added to make sure her grandmother bought it. Even if it was all a lie. She hadn’t even started on the history paper.

«Good. I already made dinner, but there are some leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.» Her grandmother’s tone was pleasant, almost happy. She had to be in a good mood today, then. The whole thing felt deeply unsettling.

At least she was safe, for now.

«Thanks, but I’m not hungry. I’ll be in my room,» Manon said before turning and hurrying down the hall. Once she’d closed the door, she finally let out the breath of relief she’d benne holding, throwing away all pretense.

She couldn’t keep lying to her grandmother like this…

Not only did it make her feel awful, but the consequences would also be too great. She was putting her whole future at risk when she was acting like this, sneaking around and prioritizing boys over her schoolwork. 

Frustrated, she threw herself down on her bed, startling Abraxos who was sleeping on her pillow. Dorian made everything so much more complicated. Agreeing to go out with him had been a mistake. A huge, huge mistake.

Yet she’d felt better today, happier, than she’d had in a long time. She’d even managed to forget the catastrophe that was her dance team, if only for a few hours. And with this light, fluttery feeling, everything seemed more manageable. 

For now, she could do this, wanted to do this. The thought of not being with Dorian anymore… It didn’t feel right, and she was actually looking forward to Monday, when she would see him again.

She knew this, they, would have to end one way or another, but she couldn’t let go just yet.

A/N: That break really got longer than I anticipated...

It's been nearly a year now, since I first got the idea for this fic and started writing it, and here I was, believing I could be done with it by summer 2020. In all honesty, it feels like I posted chapter 12, blinked, and then 4 months had passed. But here it is, at least:) We have reached the halfway point, and a little progress is better than none. I'm still not making any promises regarding this fic, other than I will finish it, someday, whether that be in 2 months or 2 years. And to all of you who still read, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU SO MUCH<3<3 I could not have done it without you!

All the love, Aurora<3

Taglist: @fireheartdreamerstarborn @bookishwitchling @hellasblessed @kit-12 @onfma @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you want to be on any of them!

[dawninlatin]

We’re not getting a pet, love

Part of the Manorian Teacher AU

This was requested by @biaguiar11​. Sorry for taking so long, hope you like it:)

Words: 2307

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A/N: I would like to dedicate this fic to my cat, Chewbacca. Had you not been so adorable this morning, this piece of shit never would have existed. *tears up* I love you man<3<3

Also feel free to leave a comment, telling me what you think;)

«Come on!»

«No.»

«Manon, please.» Dorian tried his very best to make sad-puppy eyes at his girlfriend, pouting his lip, all of it to convince her that they simply had to get a cat.

«We’re not getting a cat, and if you send me one more GIF of cute kittens I will block you on all social media.» She was glaring at him from across the counter, and Dorian would be lying if he said it didn’t terrify him slightly.

They’d been having this discussion for weeks, but she wouldn’t budge. Dorian insisted that it was the natural step to take next in their relationship - they’d recently bought a house - and honestly, every home should have a cat.

Too bad Manon didn’t agree.

«But just imagine a teeny, tiny, adorable kitten curling up against you, with it’s tiny paws and tiny, little face.» The image was so adorable it made Dorian tear up a little.

Manon shook her head, giving him an annoyed look. «Kittens aren’t adorable. They’re cunning, vicious little creatures that will kill you in your sleep,» she said, shuddering.

«Don’t tell me the Manon Blackbeak is afraid of kittens?» 

«Pfft, I’m not afraid of kittens,» Manon claimed, but Dorian noticed the way she didn’t meet his eyes, the way she bit her lip. His girlfriend was many things, but a good liar was not one of them. 

Dorian was baffled. Even if he hated that word, it was the only way to truly describe how shocked he was at this admittance. She was the one who killed the spiders in their relationship, after all. «So getting a pet snake is fine with you, but you’re afraid of a cat?»

Last week, when they’d had the exact same argument, Manon had suggested that if he was so eager to get a pet, they could get a snake. He knew she’d said it just to shut him up, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he one day came home to them having a pet snake. The mere idea had him feeling a little sick. He’d told her as much then, but Manon had only grinned like a mad woman.

No way were they getting a snake.

«I’m done with this discussion,» was all she said before disappearing up the stairs.

Dorian wasn’t done though, and he stood up, trailing after her, all the way into their bedroom, where he found her putting away laundry. She always started cleaning when she was angry.

«Why can’t we get a cat?» he whined.

«I’m allergic,» she said, her words blunt. She didn’t even turn around to look at him, instead walking into the adjoining bathroom with a pile of clothes.

Flopping onto the bed, Dorian said, «We both know you’re not allergic.» He gave her a pointed stare as she reentered the room, stopping in the doorway.

«I just don’t understand why you absolutely have to get a cat.»

«I just don’t understand why you absolutely refuse to get a cat.» Dorian pouted once more, fluttering his eyelashes for extra effect.

Manon let out a long, annoyed sigh, but he knew her anger had faded based on the faint smile playing on her lips.

«Pets are a lot of work, Dorian. We’re busy enough as it is.»

This, at least, was an argument he had prepared for. «It isn’t. All you have to do is feed it twice a day, let it out when it has to pee and give it some love and attention. And you’re very good at the love and attention part!»

«But I have already decided that we’re not getting a cat.»

Turning so he lay on his stomach, he brought back the puppy eyes from earlier, and said, «But think of all the sad, lonely kittens at the animal shelter who doesn’t have anyone to love them…» Dorian pretended to wipe away a tear. Manon answered by giving him a deadly glare accompanied by her middle finger.

«Must you be so dramatic? I’m really dating a child…»

Dorian placed his head in his palms, kicking his legs just to further her point. «You love it when I’m dramatic.»

«I don’t,» Manon said, sitting down next to him.

«You do,» Dorian said, flicking her nose.

«Don’t boop me.»

«If we had a kitten I could boop them instead.»

Manon quickly stood up again, throwing her arms in the air as she let out a frustrated groan. «I’m not losing this argument!»

-

She had lost the argument.It was the only way to explain why she now found herself standing at the local animal shelter. 

Manon wanted to be mad, she really did, but Dorian was making it hard for her with his fawning over all the tiny, squeaking kittens.

«Oh, look at that one Manon. Isn’t it adorable?» 

No, they weren’t adorable, she wanted to say, eager to get it over with as soon as possible. They had come her straight after work, so she was tired, and hungry, and she didn’t even want to get a cat. This was all on Dorian.

But to be fair…he deserved this. Deserved to be happy. It was what had made her cave in the end, actually. 

Dorian had pouted his lips and made those puppy eyes for the billionth time and said, «Don’t you want me to be happy?» 

And truth be told…she would gladly endure a little ball of fur terrorizing their home if it meant the love of her life was happy.

Manon rolled her eyes at her own thoughts. Living with Dorian had made her soft…

Sensing her discomfort, Dorian placed a hand on her lower back, drawing her closer. He pressed a light kiss on her head before his attention shifted back to the small demons. 

But Manon couldn’t stay in here for much longer. Animals in cages, even if they were well cared for, and only here for a short while, had always made her uncomfortable, and the hall was too dark, too cramped, the walls coming closer, and then there was the gods-damned smell. Was this smell supposed to take permanent residence in her house from now on? She had to get out, had to get air-

«I’m sorry,» she mumbled to Dorian before heading towards the heavy door at the end of the hall. She’d nearly made it when a tiny squeak made her stop. 

She crouched down and peered into the dark cage. In one of the corners, she could make out a tiny, pitch-black kitten taking her in with big, sad eyes.

«What’s wrong with this one?» she asked the middle aged woman that had shown them around.

«He’s a fighter, that one,» the woman said, giving Manon a grim smile. 

«Born much smaller than the rest of the litter, so his mother abandoned him. When he came to us, he was so weak we didn’t think he would survive, but he fought with teeth and claws, and now he’s as healthy as any other cat.» She looked proud of the little black cat. «He still keeps to himself though, won’t go near the other cats, as afraid as he is. I swear he is even terrified of his own shadow.»

Hearing these words, Manon felt something strange settle deep inside, and she hardly had time to think before she announced to the room; «We want this one.»

Dorian, who’d made his way over to her, looked at the kitten, then back at Manon, and grinned. «If you say so.»

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

-

This was a horrible idea.

When they’d first gotten home, the cat with them, Manon had gone straight to the shower, leaving Dorian to take care of it all.  

Once she emerged from the bathroom, nearly an hour later, Dorian was still sitting on the floor, and the cat was still inside the cardboard box they had carried him in. 

Apparently, Dorian had tried everything he could think of to coax the kitten out of his hiding spot, but he remained in the corner, curled up into a quivering ball. 

It wasn’t until he had spotted Manon, looking over the edge, that he had let out a high-pitched meow, making his way out of the box on stumbling feet.

«Him,» she tried explaining, pointing to Dorian, as the cat made his way towards her, «Go to him.» But the cat either didn’t understand, or he simply didn’t care, stopping right in front of her.

«I’m not your mother,» she told the creature, voice frantic. It was sitting on the floor, staring at her with big, yellow eyes. It blinked once, and Manon jumped off the floor.

«Okay, that cat is giving me the creeps, so I’ll leave you to it, I have work to do.» 

Dorian’s answering chuckle followed her into the kitchen, where she started making a much needed cup of coffee. She opened the cabinet and pulled out her favorite mug. The one shaped like a t-rex.

A yelp escaped her as she turned around to find the tiny, black kitten sitting right in front of her, head tilted slightly. «Holy sh-»

«I think he likes you,» Dorian said, appearing in the doorway. He was wearing his usual smug expression. 

«Nope, I can’t do it,» Manon said, taking a step forward. The cat followed, trailing her like a shadow. 

Deciding to distract him, Manon walked over to his bowls and stood there, waiting, until he began eating. Once she’d made sure he wouldn’t fall into his water bowl and drown, Manon hauled ass all the way to her study on the second floor, leaving Dorian with the horrid beast he had wanted so badly.

As the door shut behind her, she let out a sigh of relief. If the cat somehow managed to reach her now, she was moving out. He could just have the house.

Manon began to work, needing to plan her classes for tomorrow. She tried to focus on her task, but more often than not, her mind wandered off to what she was missing out on downstairs.

She truly didn’t care for the creature, but what if he was scared? Would he be able to settle in their home? He had been treated so horribly…had been so alone. Would he get the love and care he needed from them?

Cursing her boyfriend for putting her in this situation, Manon grabbed her laptop and dragged herself back down to the living room. 

What she didn’t expect to find was the house all quiet, Dorian sitting on the couch with a book, the cat nowhere to be seen. «Where is he?» she whispered carefully.

«Under the couch, sleeping. I think he likes dark corners.»

«Hm,» was all Manon said, sitting next to him. She opened her laptop once more and tried to focus on her work.

«Are you okay?» Dorian asked, and as she turned to look at him, she found concern softening his features.

She sighed. «Yes. I’ll get used to it…eventually.» She didn’t sound entirely convinced, but Dorian released a breath of relief.

«You know I love you, right?» Dorian asked, before standing up and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

«Yeah, and I love you,» she whispered back, pulling him down so his lips could meet hers.

As they broke apart, Dorian headed towards the stairs, announcing, «I’m taking a shower, won’t be long.»

Manon sunk further into the couch, fighting to stay awake. She just had to finish up her work-

A high-pitched meow interrupted her, and she looked down to find their cat trying to climb onto the couch, his claws imbedded deep into the fabric. «Not the couch,» Manon groaned softly, but there was no real reprimand in her voice. 

The kitten struggled to pull his tiny body onto the piece of furniture, and when he finally succeeded, Manon reached over to pet his little head. The movement felt awkward, but the cat’s eyes widened, and he quickly climbed onto Manon’s chest, before settling there, right over her heart. 

Manon’s whole body stiffened at first, nervous for what the beast would do next, but he only began purring, pressing his small paws against her chest. «Fine,» Manon whispered, giving in at last. She placed her laptop on the table, simply letting herself relax.

She began stroking him, and he answered by purring even louder.

«What a big day you must’ve had,» Manon said to the small cat. «I can’t imagine how scary it must be to move into such a big house with two strangers.»

He probably couldn’t understand her, but she kept going anyway.

«This is your home from now on. We’ll give you love and care, and I promise we won’t abandon you.» The kitten looked at her with those big eyes of his, meowing once. It made Manon’s heart feel all warm and fuzzy.

«We need to give you a name, too. Dorian wanted Batman, you know, since you’re all black, but one, that is the most uncreative, unoriginal name I have ever heard, and two, all the other cats will bully you for it, and we can’t have any of that, can we?» She gave him a serious look. «So I refused, you can thank me later.»

But Batman or not, the cat still needed a name. Manon searched her memory for anything that could fit. It had to be unique, and badass, and- 

«Abraxos.»

The cat lifted his head, staring at her.

«Your name is Abraxos,» Manon decided, marveling at how right it felt.

After that, he settled down, curling into a ball once more. Before Manon knew it, Abraxos was asleep, and at the small, warm weight on her chest, at the sound of him snoring softly, Manon smiled, knowing she already loved this cat very, very much.

[dawninlatin]

Tell me a story

Part of the Manorian Teacher AU. This one takes place only months after “Online classes are the worst. 

Words: 2676

AO3 Link

Link to my masterlist and the other parts of the Teacher AU

A/N: It feels so good to write for this AU again, and this part might just be my favourite yet, so I hope you enjoy it<3 

Feel free to leave a comment or some constructive criticism or whatever;)

I also am aware that the timeline in this AU doesn't make sense, but it's summer and I have forgotten math, so we'll just ignore that:))

Peace&Love<3 -Dawninlatin

It was on a warm July evening that Manon Blackbeak declared to no one in particular that she was done being pregnant.

Only moments later, her asshole of a boyfriend decided to crush all her hopes and dreams by walking into their bedroom and saying, «You still have three months left, babe.»

Not deeming him worthy of a verbal response, Manon instead grabbed the nearest pillow and hurled it across the room with full force, not that it was much these days. Gods, she was so tired.

The pillow didn’t even make it all the way to Dorian, instead it landed with a weak thump by his feet, and Manon let out a frustrated sigh as he made his way over to her, taking the pillow with him and placing it back with the many, many others.

Manon was nestled on their bed, amongst the horde of pillows, all of them meticulously placed to create the perfect position, the only way she could sleep with a two pound human being inhabiting her body.

«Don’t worry, those three months will be over before you know it,» Dorian tried to comfort, picking up a discarded t-shirt and pulling it over his bare chest. His inky black hair was still wet from the shower he’d just had.

«That’s easy for you to say,» Manon mumbled, crossing her arms.

Something in her expression made Dorian pause, a guilty look on his face. «You’re right, it is easy for me to say. How are you?» He sat down on the bed, and Manon took in the pleasant smell of men’s soap.

«Exhausted,» she sighed, rubbing her swollen belly. Manon didn’t know how she could take three more months of a constantly bloated and aching body. Already she felt as if she could burst at any moment, and bigger would she get. None of her clothes fit, so she had simply taken to just wearing Dorian’s. Then there was the fact that she had to pee every ten minutes, and she still got nauseous, even if she was far past her first trimester, and no matter what she ate, she was kept up half the night by heartburn.

Yet the physical exhaustion was nothing compared to the emotional fatigue. All the hormones heightening her every emotion, and it completely drained her. She got incredibly angry and frustrated by the littlest things, and she cried. All. The. Damn. Time.

The fact that they were in the middle of a pandemic, and that the world was falling apart around her didn’t exactly help. Manon didn’t take well to spending all her days cooped up in their small house. She wanted to go out and do something. Instead she spent all her days inside, watching crappy TV, trying to ignore how helpless she felt.

Manon truly envied Dorian’s ability to sit down with a book and wholly disappear in it. Sometimes he stayed in that bubble of his for hours, paying no mind to the world around him.

All of this felt like some sick, twisted, alternate reality where everything was well on its way to hell. And for her part, it had began with a positive pregnancy test.

The baby had been a shock to them both. After feeling sick for a few weeks, Manon had taken a test just to rule it out. She hadn’t expected to find two pink lines staring back at her. Kids had never been part of her ideal future, but as she saw the positive test, as she saw how excited Dorian got, no matter how much he tried to hide his joy, she couldn’t stop picturing them as a family. Couldn’t stop picturing a small child with Dorian’s blue eyes and inky black curls and irresistible charm. Deep down, she wanted them to share this together. And Dorian would make a great father. Manon on the other hand…

Quarantining made it even harder for Manon to deal with her pregnancy. How was she supposed to enjoy this, supposed to create a bond with her unborn child when all her time was spent inside, isolated, silently panicking over the state of the country? She didn’t get to stroll around shops, buying cute baby clothes, didn’t get to visit friends and family, sharing this journey with them. Manon had been to one ultrasound, and Dorian hadn’t even been allowed with her. The worst of it all was that she felt like a selfish, whining bitch for being sad about it all.

Now that summer vacation had started, she didn’t have work to look forward to either. As a science teacher, there was nothing she was more passionate about than her job. A few weeks back, she’d had to say goodbye to her graduating seniors over a fucking video call. It had taken all of her stubbornness and unrelenting will-power to not burst into tears in front of them. They didn’t know she was currently a hormone-filled mess. Gods, how she would miss those brilliant young minds that annoyed her to no end. She’d never tell them that, of course. She had a reputation to uphold after all.

But without the distraction of her work, she’d had to take up other hobbies to busy herself. Yesterday, Manon had cried her way through an entire season of ‘Our Planet’ while knitting a blanket for their baby. Knitting, of all things! It had quickly become an obsession, and truth be told, she was excellent at it, but it was something Manon had never imagined she’d be filling her time with. Maybe this was what they called nesting?

Her thoughts were interrupted as she noticed Dorian moving down the bed and settling with his head next to her belly. He had a book in his hand, one he’d pulled out from their crowded bookshelf. It was thin with a picture of a sweet-looking dragon on the front. Manon also noticed how old and worn-out it was, the spine barely binding it together.

Dorian cleared his throat, turning to the first page, and Manon let out a confused chuckle. «What are you doing?»

«That weird pregnancy app I downloaded told me that our baby can register sounds from outside now, so I’m reading them a bedtime story.» He looked at her as if it was obvious that’s what he was doing. Then he turned his head back towards her belly, his voice turning high-pitched. «And you better get used to it, dude…or dudette, ‘cuz I’m gonna read you a story every night from now on.»

Manon tried to control her laughter, but his baby-talk, mixed with the ridiculous look on his face made it very hard to hold it in. She laughed even more as he kept going. «But if I’m gonna read to you, your mommy needs to stop laughing at me! Yes she does!»

Hearing herself referred to as someones ‘mommy’ made her chest tighten uncomfortably, but no matter how wrong it sounded, she ignored it for now. For Dorian’s sake. Instead, she chose to mask her fear and doubt with flirty banter, as usual. «If you’re spending the entire evening in my lap, you might as well go a little lower and put that mouth of yours to good use.»

«MANON!» he chastised, playing the perfect role of a disappointed parent. Dorian placed both his hands on her belly, as if covering a pair of ears, and said in a hushed voice, «There are children present!»

Chuckling, Manon answered, «That’s not what you said last night when you-»

«CHAPTER 1!»

As she beheld the exaggerated look of shock and horror on his face, Manon failed to hold in her cackling laughter any longer.

-

Manon had closed her eyes long ago, simply enjoying the sound of Dorian reading one of his favourite books to their unborn child.

He was a natural at storytelling, his tone eager, making up different voices for each character, giving life to it. Manon knew he would make an excellent father. Could already picture him with their child, reading them books, tucking them into bed at night, soothing them after a nightmare.

Whenever she tried to picture herself as a mother, the only image coming to her mind was the image of her grandmother, the woman that had raised her, the woman that had made Manon’s childhood a living hell. Who was she trying to fool? She knew nothing about motherhood!

As she kept spiraling, tears began to sting in her eyes. Manon tried to stop them to no avail. She sniffled, and the noise got Dorian’s attention. Turning his head, he found her shaking with silent sobs.

«Manon? What’s wrong?» He rushed to her side, the book completely forgotten. He pulled her to him, stroking up and down her arms, and the loving gesture only made her cry harder.

«Talk to me, love,» he whispered against her hair.

But how could she? How could she possibly express everything she was feeling? All the fear and doubt. And Dorian was so excited, Manon didn’t have the heart to take that joy away from him by telling him how she really felt about all of it.

Instead, she voiced the one question that had been playing at the front of her mind for months now. «Do you think I’ll be a good mom?»

«Oh, Manon.»

Her breaths came in choking gasps, and no matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn’t get enough air.

«Breathe,» Dorian tried to soothe, running his hands up and down her back in long, calming strokes. Manon let her forehead fall to his shoulder, clutching his shirt.

«I just-» she began, but she didn’t know what came next. Drawing a ragged breath, she tried again, «I have no idea what I’m doing! Like, do you know all the ways a baby can die? You hold it wrong and it breaks! And I have no idea how to be a mother! None! Everyone says they’ll be different than their own parents, but in the end they end up the same, and I know I will be just like my grandmother! I can’t do this! I can’t-» Her words turned into a heartbreaking sob.

«Look at me,» Dorian said, taking her face in his hands. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks, wiping away her tears only for more to follow. «Do you think I will be just like my father?»

His question took her by surprise, enough that she regained some control over her breathing. «Of course not!» Manon blurted out, wiping her eyes. «You’re nothing like him!»

«Exactly, and you’re nothing like your grandmother,» Dorian said firmly. Manon started shaking her head, but he grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.

«I know you’ll be a great mom.» She was about to protest, but Dorian beat her to it. «You’ll make our child feel so safe, and loved, and supported, no matter what.»

«Dorian-» Her words died on her tongue as she saw how he looked at her, his eyes shining with love and adoration.

«You wanna know how I know that?» He pressed a kiss to her temple. «Because that’s how you make me feel, every single day.»

Dorian laid down, pulling her with him so that she lay with her head on his chest, feeling his heart beat, a steady rhythm that grounded her. Tears kept streaming down her cheeks, but her breathing had gone slow and even.

Manon broke the silence by whispering, «I’m so lucky to have you.» Dorian hummed in response.

They nearly fell asleep like that, until Manon suddenly spoke, her cracked voice startling Dorian in the process. «Will you keep reading? I wanna know how the story ends.»

This brought a huge grin to his face, and Dorian gladly slid back down to her belly, kissing it once, before picking up his discarded book. Manon settled back against her pillows while he skimmed to the right page.

Dorian cleared his throat once more, and picked up where he left, telling the story about a small, brave dragon that would much rather spend his days in fields of flowers than fighting wars.

-

«The end,» Dorian finished at last, a yawn escaping Manon’s lips.

«I liked this one,» Manon whispered. «You’re a great storyteller.» Dorian closed the book and sat up, a strange look on his face.

His eyes softened, and he said, «It’s not done yet.»

Manon’s face shifted into a confused expression, but Dorian didn’t explain further, simply placed the book on the nightstand, taking her in with burning intensity.

Outside, it had gone dark, the only source of light being the string lights that hung from the ceiling. They cast a soft, golden glow over the room, making Dorian look ethereal. He drew a ragged breath, before speaking, his voice quiet, «And as the lost man finished telling his story, he looked down at the love of his life, her white hair shining like liquid moonlight, her golden eyes glowing brighter than any star. He laid down next to her, face to face, took her hand in his, and asked, his heart ever so hopeful, ‘Will you marry me?’»

Manon couldn’t believe this was happening, her eyes widening in shock. Not pulling her gaze away from Dorian’s, the man she loved more than she could fathom, could ever put into words, she managed to choke out, «You- You’re asking me to marry you?»

«I am,» he whispered back, brushing a few loose strands of hair away from her face. «Wait a second, will you,» he blurted out, turning towards his nightstand and opening the drawer. «I actually have a ring,» he continued while rummaging around for it, his voice frantic.

«Got it,» Dorian said, facing her again. He inhaled once more, bracing himself. «I’ve had this ring for a while actually. I bought it straight after our first date, because I knew, already then, that there were no one else I’d want to spend my life with. You’re the love of my life, Manon. You’re my best friend, my equal, my everything, and I would be honored if I would also be able to call you my wife.»

How much love could a heart take before it would burst? Manon wondered to herself.

Flustered, Dorian kept talking, kept rambling, and damn her if it wasn’t the most adorable thing she had ever witnessed. «I had planned this big proposal with a candle lit dinner and roses and every other cliché ever invented, and you deserve so much more than this,» he gestured to them, to their bedroom, «but I couldn’t wait any longer, and-»

«No, it’s perfect,» Manon interrupted, shaking her head in disbelief as she took in the gorgeous ring. It was a thin, golden band with a simple, turquoise stone. It was really just perfect, all of it. Yes, she was in her - no, actually his - worn out pajamas, her hair pulled into a messy bun, her face bare, without any makeup, but it was perfect. She couldn’t have imagined it any different.

«Is that a yes then?» Dorian asked, his voice full of hope.

«Yes,» Manon laughed, and at the enormous grin appearing on her fiancé’s face, she burst into tears. «Those damn hormones,» she managed to choke out in between sobs, letting out an incredulous laughter.

Though this time it wasn’t purely the hormones’ fault. She had never felt so loved, and she knew Dorian felt the same way, because his own eyes were also lined with silver, mirroring her own.

After he put the ring on her finger, she pulled him into a tight embrace, pressing her lips to his. As they laid there, Manon took Dorian’s hand, placing it on her belly, where their child, their baby, had begun kicking ferociously. He gasped as he felt the fluttering kicks, and she couldn’t help but smile at the look of awe on his face. How right it felt, to be three. A family. Manon marveled over the feeling, something settling deep inside her.

Maybe the future wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace - chapter 10

A Manorian High School AU

Words: 4150

AO3 Link

Masterlist

TW: Descriptions of violence and abuse

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

A/N: Hello!

First, I would like to say that I am very sorry for taking a long, but necessary break from this fic. Turns out my mental health doesn't like doing nothing for two months straight...Please accept my apology in form of this long-as-fuck chapter:)

Secondly, this chapter is far from perfect, but I have to admit, I'm kinda proud of myself with this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:)

Lastly, thank you so much to everyone who likes, shares, reblogs reads, comments etc. I couldn't have continued this fic without you<3

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I know that you’re hiding

I know there’s a part of you that I just cannot reach

You don’t have to let me in

-Florence + The Machine, Hiding

«Asterin, stop.»

Manon’s cousin turned at the angry tone, stopping on her way out the door. She was schooling her features into the usual look of ignorant bliss, and it annoyed Manon to no end. How the hell could she pretend to be so calm when the world was turned upside down three weeks ago?

«What?» Asterin replied, smiling as if everything was fine. Manon pretended not to see how the smile faltered slightly, how Asterin’s jaw visibly tightened, her breath quickening. A crack in the perfect foundation.

Crossing her arms, Manon leaned against the wall, giving her cousin a glare. «We need to talk,» Manon said, her voice demanding.

She couldn’t believe how three weeks had passed, and they still hadn’t talked about the fact that Asterin had been knocked up by her boyfriend. The morning after finding out the news, Manon had woken up to an empty house and a note from Asterin saying she was at Hunter’s. The following three weeks Asterin had managed to never stay in the same room as Manon for long enough to have a proper conversation. It was infuriating.

«Talk about what?» Astrerin replied, a sickening look of confusion on her face.

«You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.»

«That’s not your problem to worry about.» Asterin was about to pick up her bag and head out the door once more, but Manon managed to slam it shut in time, blocking her cousin’s path.

«It became my problem the second you asked me to hide it from our grandmother,» Manon hissed at her. «You can’t just come into my room in the middle of the night, crying, and tell me that you’re pregnant, for then to pretend nothing happened!»

Asterin still faced the door, avoiding Manon’s eyes. «I am dealing with it,» she whispered, finally turning around.

Manon’s anger faded a little at the look of utter defeat on her cousin’s face. Her whole body sagged against the closed door, silver lining her eyes.

«Do you-» Manon hesitated, letting out a long sigh, «Do you need me to go with you? To the appointment?»

«What appointment?» The confusion on Asterin’s face was real this time.

«The abortion?»

Manon might as well have slapped her cousin by the way her head shot up, eyes narrowed, mouth formed into a tight line, hands balled into fists.

«You’re not keeping it, are you? Are you insane?!» Manon yelled. She couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation.

«That’s none of your business,» Asterin said, voice cold. And the way she was staring down Manon…she had never felt so small.

«You’re seventeen!» Manon was certain her cousin had actually lost her mind. She couldn’t be serious about this. A baby…they were still, technically, children themselves. And if their grandmother found out, when their grandmother found out…

Shaking her head, Asterin said, «So? And for the millionth time, this isn’t your problem. I can-»

«It is my problem when you expect me to lie to our grandmother every day! It is my problem when I have to explain why you’re hurling your guts up every morning, or why you’re never around anymore! Do you want me to keep lying when your belly gets all round? Or when you have an actual, living baby to take care of?»

Manon was screaming now, but she didn’t care.

«You’re not gonna tell her, are you?» Asterin looked scared, and Manon could see that she was shaking a little. Manon was shaking too, but not with fear.

«I-» Manon began, groaning in frustration. «I just don’t know what you think is gonna happen? You’ll just have a baby at seventeen and then you and Hunter and your baby will be a happy little family? That’s not how the world works.»

Asterin was tapping her foot against the floor, clearly pissed. «My mom was only seventeen when she had me.»

«And you see how well that went…How long has it been since she called you, Asterin?»

The words slipped from her mouth before she had time to think. It was a low blow, and Manon knew it. Unlike Manon, Asterin actually knew her mother, had lived with her for eight years, until the woman one day just dropped Asterin off at her grandmother’s house. In the beginning, she often called, even visited, but Manon had no idea when Asterin had last heard from her mother. It wasn’t something they talked about.

Her cousin’s eyes were focused on the floor, and when she finally looked up, her expression cold and empty, it sent a chill down Manon’s spine.

«I’m gonna go now, before I say something I’ll regret.» Asterin’s voice was devoid of any emotion.

«And where are you going?» Manon breathed.

«To be with my boyfriend, who actually cares about how I feel.»

Manon tried calling after her, but Asterin was out the door in a heartbeat, nearly slamming it in Manon’s face.

They couldn’t keep going like this. It was driving her crazy, the hiding, the lying, the tiptoeing. All of it, just to postpone the inevitable.

Because their grandmother was bound to find out at some point, and when she did, all hell would break loose. Manon could feel it, the wave of impending doom, coming closer and closer.

What was Asterin thinking? She was ruining her life. Everything their grandmother had done for them, to make sure they got into college, to make sure they didn’t end up like their own mothers - one of them dead and the other doing god knows what - and Asterin was throwing it all away.

Letting out another groan of frustration, Manon slammed her fists against the wall, head following suit. How could she? How could Asterin put them in this situation?

All the stress and guilt and worrying was eating her alive. She’d stopped sleeping at night, couldn’t focus at dance practice anymore, could barely keep up with her classes.

She had also began avoiding Dorian. Had outright ghosted him from the moment Asterin crawled into her bed, crying.

Thinking about it, she had been acting a lot like Asterin, with the way she refused to talk to him, never staying in the same room as Dorian for long enough to have a proper conversation.

It had been a mistake, all of it. The texting, the hanging out, the fucking playlist!

He’d stopped texting her about a week ago. Picking up her phone, Manon began scrolling through the thread.

Manon: Here’s the playlist. It’s best enjoyed if you listen to it in the right order.

Dorian: Sorry for not replying til now but I heard through the entire thing and fine you were right I hadn’t heard any of it before and yes you do have fantastic taste in music pls send me more!!!!!

Dorian: Are u awake?

Dorian: I listened to your playlist again…Damn you have good taste in music;)

Dorian: You left the classroom so quick today I didn’t have the time to talk to you, wanna get lunch?

Dorian: I really liked that playlist….

Dorian: Can we talk? Whenever you’re available…

Dorian: Have I done something wrong?

Dorian: Pls just answer me…

Dorian: I’m gonna stop texting you now, but I’m here if you ever wanna talk about what the fuck is going on…

Manon felt awful for avoiding him like this, not even giving him an explanation, but her life was a complete mess, and it was better to end things before Dorian realized it too. It would hurt less that way.

But Manon thought about him often. Missed him, even. She tried not to think about what it might mean.

Footsteps sounded outside, and thinking it was Asterin, Manon whirled around to confront her cousin once more, only to be met by the stern eyes of her grandmother.

The surprise must have been written on Manon’s face, because the woman in front of her said, «Expecting someone else?»

«No, I was just surprised. I thought you were coming home tomorrow,» Manon said, quickly shaking her head.

Her grandmother looked her over, always searching, assessing, judging. «And how have things been going while I was away?»

Plastering a reassuring smile on her face, Manon replied, «Good. The usual. I got an A on that history test I told you about.»

«Hm,» was her grandmothers only response, Manon’s smile faltering. «And the dancing?»

Manon swallowed, looking at her feet. «Getting there.»

«That is not good enough, and you know it, Manon.» She still didn’t look at her grandmother.

«I know, I’ll do better, I promise. It’s just…school has been very stressful lately.»

«That is not an acceptable excuse.»

«Yes, grandmother. I’ll do better.» Her heart was racing, palms sweaty.

«LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!» Flinching, Manon lifted her head, focusing her eyes on the wall beside her grandmother, unable to meet the furious stare.

The woman stormed over to where Manon was standing, grabbing her chin so hard Manon was sure it would bruise. Manon finally willed her eyes to meet those of her grandmother.

«Pathetic, utterly pathetic,» her grandmother said, voice low. She clicked her tongue, and let go of Manon.

«I will go into my office now, and when I come back out, you better be out of sight.»

And with that, she was gone, her office door slamming shut.

Bringing her arms around herself to stop the shaking, Manon couldn’t help the sigh of relief escaping her lips.

At least she hadn’t asked about Asterin.

-

Standing in front of Aelin’s house, Dorian had no idea how he’d actually gotten there. All he knew, was that he couldn’t take more of his parents’ fighting, that he had to get out, had to rant about it to someone.

The past three weeks had been stressful, to say the least. His parents were fighting more than ever and the load of homework, tests and assignments they were given at school seemed to never end.

Then there was Manon…Out of the blue, she’d stopped talking to him, stopped responding to his texts, making sure they never stayed in the same room for long.

He had tried catching up with her after class, had tried approaching her in the hallway, but he’d been unsuccessful. At least until today.

«Can we talk?»

Manon startled, turning around to find Dorian leaning against the lockers.

«I’m late for class,» she mumbled, eyes on the floor.

«Bullshit,» Dorian said, crossing his arms. «Class starts in 15 minutes.»

«I can’t-» Manon began, but she never finished, instead turning around once more to leave him.

Fuck, Dorian thought, chasing her through the hallway like some stalker.

«Manon! Wait!» he called after her, trying to keep up with her fast pace. She finally stopped right before the door to their classroom, tapping her foot impatiently.

«Can we just talk? Please.» She still didn’t look at him.

Dorian sighed, trying to meet her gaze. «Did I do something wrong?»

«No,» she whispered, the word barely audible. Manon looked up, but her eyes still didn’t meet his.

She looked tired, dark circles framing those golden eyes. And they weren’t their usual, glowing color today, more like a dulled version of it.

Unease settled deep in Dorian’s stomach. Carefully, he asked, «Did something happen?»

«What makes you think that?» she asked hurriedly, her tone angry. Her eyes finally met his, shooting him a deadly glare.

Before Dorian had the chance to explain, Manon said, «I don’t have time to play friends with you, which I told you, so please stop bothering me, and leave me the fuck alone!»

Dorian couldn’t move, could only stare as she turned around and walked away.

He had known for a while what he felt for her. Had known he wanted to be more than just friends. Had hoped they could be more than friends.

But Dorian just stood there, leaning against the wall, and watched that hope disappear into the crowd along with a white ponytail.

That conversation was maybe the biggest reason why he was now knocking on Aelin’s door. Dorian desperately needed advice, the kind only Aelin could give.

«Dorian! What are you doing here?»

Lost in his brooding, Dorian hadn’t noticed Aelin opening the door. She made her way over to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

Drawing apart, Dorian saw that she was wearing her boots and jacket. «You’re on your way out, aren’t you?»

Aelin shook her head, her eyes worried as she took in his somber state. «I was gonna meet Rowan, but I think you need me more right now.»

Dorian was about to protest, but Aelin beat him to it. «He’ll understand.»

With that, he followed her inside, escaping the chilly autumn wind. There was no point in arguing with his friend, she was the most stubborn person he knew.

Dragging him into the kitchen, Aelin asked, «Is it an ‘eat ice cream and cry’ kind of crisis you’re having?»

«I think so,» he said, but Aelin was already digging through the freezer, not bothering to wait for an answer.

«Dorian! Haven’t seen you in a while,» Evalin Ashryver Galathynius said as she made her way into the kitchen, cheery as ever.

«Weren’t you gonna see Rowan?» Aelin’s mom asked her daughter while pouring herself a glass of wine.

«Change of plans,» Aelin shrugged.

«Good. I missed having Dorian around.» As she said that, she squeezed his shoulder, the gesture so motherly Dorian had to try very hard not to cry.

He had always been jealous of how affectionate Aelin’s parents were, so unlike his own.

«Is school busy these days?» Aelin gave him a warning glare, as if to say, «Don’t answer that! She’ll never stop talking!»

Dorian looked Aelin straight in the eye as he smirked and said, «Very.»

Evelin leaned against the counter, sipping her drink. «Ugh, you kids have so much pressure these days.» Aelin rolled her eyes.

«I mean it, when I was in high school-,»

«Here she goes…» Aelin said, low enough for only Dorian to hear.

«I can’t remember us ever sitting up half the night with homework. We got to be wild teenagers, you know, your dad and I-»

«Okay, we don’t wanna hear about you and dad, bye mom!» Aelin said as she bolted out of the room, grabbing Dorian’s hand and pulling him with her.

«Wait!» Evalin called after them. The pair turned to see her holding the bottle of wine.

«If you promise to not tell your father, you can have what’s left of this.» Aelin’s mother winked at the wicked grin appearing on her daughter’s face.

Aelin snatched the bottle, yelling «THANKS MOM YOU’RE THE BEST!» while making her way towards her room. Dorian followed suit, shutting the door.

«So, spill,» Aelin said, flinging herself down on the bed.

«I don’t know, it’s just been a lot, lately,» Dorian sighed, not knowing where to even begin.

«Your parents fighting again?»

That was one of the things he loved the most about Aelin. She always seemed to know what he was thinking, voicing the difficult words so he didn’t have to do it himself.

He let his head fall into his hands, groaning. «I know it’s awful, but sometimes I wish they would just get divorced.»

Aelin gave him a grim smile, passing him the wine bottle. Dorian took a sip, grimacing at the bitter taste.

Searching him with her gaze, Aelin said quietly, «But that’s not the only thing on your mind, is it?» Damn her, and her ability to see right through him.

Dorian took a deep breath, before saying, «I made a new friend…»

«A friend, huh?» Aelin gave him a knowing smile, and Dorian could feel his cheeks turning pink.

«Yes, a friend,» he said, punctuating the last word. «We’ve been hanging out a lot, and for a while it was all great, but then she suddenly stopped talking to me and I don’t know why.»

Hard as it was, it felt good to let it all out.

«Wait, you said she? Is it someone I know,» Aelin asked, raising an eyebrow. Dorian tried handing her the wine, but she shook her head, giving him a look that said, You need it more than I do.

Dorian thought about it for a long second, debating whether he should tell Aelin the truth or not. He recalled her words from earlier, «I had PE with her last year, and I swear to god, she has the emotional range of a teaspoon.»

Remembering that comment, he suddenly felt a wave of anger rush through him. Aelin had been wrong. In fact, he was certain Manon felt more than most people.

When he didn’t answer, Aelin pushed further, «Is it someone from school?»

«It’s Manon Blackbeak,» he mumbled, words barely audible.

But Aelin had heard him, because she jumped up, a look of utter disbelief on her face. «You’ve been hanging out with MANON BLACKBEAK!?!?»

«Do you have to yell?» Dorian whispered, but Aelin didn’t hear him.

«HOW?!» she yelled even louder, throwing her arms in the air.

Giving her a glare, Dorian said, «If you please calm down, I’ll tell you everything.»

And he did, from the very beginning. Dorian told her about the project, about the bantering, about the hanging out, about the playlist, all of it, and Aelin stayed unusually still the entire time.

When he was done, she looked up at him and said, «She does seem like the person to do just that. Letting you think you’re friends and then just cut you out.»

«But you don’t know her,» Dorian tried. Aelin merely gave him a pointed look that said, And you do?

Dorian shrugged. «She didn’t seem like herself earlier today. Something was bothering her…But who knows, maybe she simply learned how much of a socially awkward loser I actually am and decided I wasn’t worth it.»

He had no idea where that last part came from, but it felt good to say it out loud.

«Oh, Dorian! Don’t you ever think that,» Aelin told him, shaking her head. «You’re literally one of the most amazing people I know, and anyone who gets to have you as their friend is the luckiest person in the world.» She was all serious, stern, even.

Holding back the tears gathering in his eyes, Dorian pulled Aelin into a tight hug. «Thank you,» he whispered.

«No problem. And if something was bothering her, I’m sure she’ll come talk to you again when she’s ready.» Aelin bit her lip, hesitating. «Are you sure you’re just friends?»

«Yes,» Dorian exhaled. «But-»

«But you wish you were more.»

He could only nod.

They stayed silent for a moment, before Aelin spoke once more. «You know, I only have guy friends, so I’m pretty shit at giving advice on things like this.»

They were lying in opposite ends of the bed now, facing one another. «I think you did pretty good,» Dorian said to reassure her.

«I still need to get some girl friends I think. I tried ranting to Chaol the other day about the trials and tribulations of living with a bitchy uterus, and I have never seen someone leave a room so fast.»

Dorian brought out his signature smirk, saying, «You can talk to me about your period any day, Aelin.»

Aelin stuck out her tongue in response, and for the first time in many, many days, Dorian laughed.

-

Manon opened the text from Asterin once more, reading the words.

Won’t make it to practice today:/ Talk when you get home?<3

Looking at it, she couldn’t t help but feel a little bad for how she’d acted earlier. They could discuss this in a civilized manner, hopefully coming to a solution that didn’t involve their grandmother in any way.

Manon shivered at the memory of a hand grabbing her cheek. She’d been right, it had bruised, and she’d had to wake up half an hour earlier today to cover it up with makeup.

A knot formed in her stomach. How could she think such things of her grandmother, who only wanted the best for her?

Surrounded by darkness, she made her way towards the house, the air cold around her. Fall had finally settled over their small town.

As she made the final steps towards the door, she wondered why the lights were off. Surely Asterin would be up, waiting for her?

Unable to shake off the feeling of unease, Manon carefully opened the door. «Asterin?» she called into the darkness.

Her bag landed on the floor with a thud, the sound echoing through the room.

«Do you have something you want to tell me?»

Manon jumped at the sound of her grandmother, turning on the lights to reveal her sitting in the living room.

Her heart started racing at the quiet rage coming from the woman. Her brows were slightly furrowed, eyes glowing with fury, her mouth forming a tight line. Judging by how calm she was, Manon knew she was pissed.

«N-no, grandmother,» Manon stammered, looking at her feet.

Her grandmother stood up, slowly making her way towards Manon. «Don’t. Fucking. Lie.» she spat, her voice shaking with anger.

The slap hit her before she had time to react, her cheek stinging at the contact. Manon could feel blood slowly starting to trickle, but she didn’t dare move, didn’t so much as breathe.

«How long have you known?» Manon still didn’t move, only stared at the wall in front of her, completely paralyzed. She must have found out…Manon had to find Asterin, had to make sure she was okay…

«HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?!»

Quickly shaking her head, Manon tried to think of a way to get her grandmother to calm down, tried to find the right words. «I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,» she breathed.

The sound of her grandmother’s cold laugh filled the empty house, followed by the sound of her palm against Manon’s other cheek. Her head jerked to the side, staying there.

Her grandmother leaned in close, and Manon closed her eyes as she felt a warm breath on her face. «I have done everything for the two of you,» she hissed, «and this is how you thank me?! Going behind my back, lying and deceiving. You should be glad you’re not on the street right now, like that whore of a cousin you have.» She made a face of disgust.

«I’m sorry,» Manon whispered, as her grandmother took a step back.

«Here is what’s going to happen,» the woman said. «From now on, if you make so much as a single mistake, I’ll kick you out. Your grades, your dancing, everything, will be perfect. Understand?»

Manon nodded, lowering her head.

«And that slut…She’s off the dance team, and if I hear you talk to her, so much as look at her, I’ll make you regret it. Am I being clear?»

Manon nodded again.

«AM I BEING CLEAR?!» Trying her best not to flinch at the raised voice, Manon managed to stammer, «Y-yes g-grandmother.»

Her grandmother clicked her tongue, shaking her head. «I truly thought you could be different from your mother, better. How wrong I was.»

The words stung almost as much as her cheeks.

«Now go to your room, I don’t think I can stomach looking at you anymore.»

«Yes grandmother,» she said obediently, hurrying down the hall.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Manon’s shaking body fell to the floor.

Around her, in her head, everywhere, it was going too fast, too much. The rush of blood, the way her lungs couldn’t get enough air no matter how hard she tried, the throbbing of her cheeks, the echoing of her grandmother’s disappointed words.

I truly thought you could be different from your mother, better. How wrong I was.

She had to be better, had to do better, had to-

Manon forced her breathing into an even rhythm. She had to stay focused from now on. No more distractions.

Manon didn’t notice how she’d stopped shaking, didn’t noticed the blood crusted on her cheek, didn’t notice the stillness of the world, didn’t notice how Abraxos placed his head in her lap, looking up at her with sad eyes.

She had no idea if minutes or hours or days had passed as she reached over to the headphones carelessly slung on the floor. Putting them on and pressing play, Manon drifted away to that distant place of hers, disappearing, dissolving. If only for a little while.

Lay me down

Let the only sound

Be the overflow

Pockets full of stone

-Florence + The Machine, What The Water Gave Me

[dawninlatin]

I never thought you’d be the fussing type

Part 4 of the Manorian Teacher AU (you can find the other parts here)

Words: 1177

AO3 Link

Summary: Dorian gets sick, so Manon takes care of him. This is all fluff<3

The last person Dorian expected to find knocking on his door at 9pm, a stormy November evening was Manon. The only time he’d heard from her today had been through a text, asking why he wasn’t at work. Dorian had answered that he was sick, which he really was.

His head wouldn’t stop pounding, he was burning with fever, even just the slightest movement sent bolts of pain through his body, and every five minutes it sounded as if he was coughing up a lung. Having the flu was an absolute nightmare. Therefore, he’d been forced to stay home and instead spend his day switching between sleeping and watching trashy daytime TV.

Manon had replied to his text, but not with the usual are you okay? or asking if he needed anything, or just a hope you feel better soon<3 No, she had simply written Ok. with a period and all.

Dorian wasn’t surprised, she didn’t seem like the type to play nurse, which was why he couldn’t help but look a little shocked when she showed up at his door, a worried look on her beautiful face. She had changed from her usual work attire to loose pants and a soft cotton shirt, her long, white hair pulled up in a messy bun. She was also carrying two bags, filled with what looked like groceries.

«You look like shit,» she pointed out, stepping into his apartment.

He laughed at her comment, but immediately regretted it when it sent him into a coughing fit so violent he had to grip the doorframe to stay upright. «I feel like shit,» he managed to croak out once the coughing had subdued.

Manon stepped closer and put her palm against his forehead. «Gods, you’re burning up!» She moved her hand to stroke his cheek, and Dorian savored the touch of her cold hand. Her brow furrowed as she tried to assess his condition. «And you’re pale, you should go and lay down.»

With that, she grabbed the grocery bags and drifted into the kitchen. Dorian didn’t dare disobey, so he dragged his aching body back to the couch. He listened as the woman he could now proudly call his girlfriend - as of two weeks ago - stuffed various foods into his fridge.

They had been dating for months now, and two weeks ago, when he’d asked her to go to a party with him, he had also asked if he could introduce her as his girlfriend. Manon’s whole body had tensed at the question, and Dorian had begun to worry if he’d just made a huge mistake, if he’d moved too fast and read the signals wrong, if he’d managed to fuck it all up. But as he was about to brush it away and tell her to just forget it, she had looked into his eyes - her molten gold meeting his sapphire blue - traced her thumb along his lower lip and said, «Only if you’ll let me call you my boyfriend.» After that, they had made love. It hadn’t just been sex, Dorian knew there was a difference now.

Said girlfriend interrupted his thoughts by peeking her head through the doorway, asking if he’d eaten anything today. When Dorian said he’d eaten some leftover cake from the fridge, she shook her head, saying that he needed to eat proper food if he wanted to get well. Then she let out an exasperated sigh, before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Was she fussing? The thought made him feel all warm and cozy, despite the flu barreling its way through his body.

A few minutes later, Manon emerged from the kitchen, carrying a bowl of steaming soup that would have smelled delicious if he still had a sense of smell. She sat it down in front of him, before grabbing the thick blanket discarded at the floor. «You should eat, you’ll feel better.» Then she tucked the blanket around his body and sat down next to him.

«I never thought you’d be the fussing type,» he said, his attempt at looking smug interrupted by a violent cough. Manon quickly handed him a glass of water, urging him to drink it.

«Just eat your soup.»

-

After practically spoon-feeding him the soup, which tasted delicious by the way, Manon motioned for him to put his head in her lap. She begun stroking his hair, and kept stroking it through several episodes of some sitcom playing on the TV.

The motion almost lulled him to sleep, but Dorian willed himself to stay awake for a little longer, gazing up at the woman who made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. Manon smiled faintly, and Dorian decided at that moment that he never wanted to be with anyone else.

«Thank you,» he whispered, his voice almost gone due to a very sore throat. «It means a lot to me, that you came here tonight.» He closed his eyes, relishing the touch of her delicate fingers.

«I didn’t want you to be alone like this,» she whispered back. Dorian opened his eyes again, and saw that she was gesturing towards his feverish body. «And,» she begun, taking a deep breath, «I found myself missing you today.»

At hearing her words, knowing that she’d missed him today, a strange, but very good feeling coursed through him. He had missed her too, today. «You should go to bed, sleep it off,» Manon said, her voice quiet, the howling sound of the wind filling the otherwise quiet apartment.

Dorian hummed in response as her fingers kept stroking his hair.

«Is it okay if I stay here tonight?» his girlfriend asked, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. Dorian pushed her away, before her lips could meet his skin.

She looked confused, almost betrayed, so he quickly explained himself, «There’s nothing I want more than for you to stay, but I don’t want you to get sick too.»

Manon only snorted, looking at him as if he was an adorable little kitten. «Don’t worry, I won’t get sick.» He raised an eyebrow, a protest ready on his lips, but he was interrupted. «I haven’t been properly sick in years, I’ll be fine.»

It was Dorian’s turn to reach up and kiss her then, so grateful to have found this brilliant woman who kept surprising him over and over again. «Lets go to bed, then.»

-

That night, something between them had changed, Manon thought. The whole situation had felt so domestic. The way she’d made him dinner, how they had brushed their teeth together, how they had spent the night wrapped in one another’s arms, Manon lying awake, listening to his breathing, checking if his fever had gotten any worse.

There had been nothing sexual with the way they slept, their limbs tangled together, yet it was one of the most intimate nights she had ever experienced.

And as she woke up a few days later, her body burning with fever, her head pounding mercilessly, she couldn’t help but think that it had been worth it.

A/N: I should study for my math exam, but I just had to write this!

Thank you so much to everyone who comments and reblogs and give kudos etc!!! You have no idea how much it means to me<3

Peace&Love<3 -Dawninlatin

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace - Masterlist

A manorian high school AU

Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn't let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

AO3 Link

Playlist

Read it here:

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5 • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 • Chapter 10 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 12 • Chapter 13 • Chapter 14 • Chapter 15 • Chapter 16 • Chapter 17 • Chapter 18 • Chapter 19

To be continued...