moklebutt

[didsomeonesayventus]

help me 6/10 of my top ten on spotify wrapped this year are on my alear playlist

[eleanor-devil]

Boruto: Sacrifices [Remade] | Chap.13 - What Matters Most

Written by: Eleanor-Devil & @mirage-05​​

Prologue | Chap.1 | Chap.2 | Chap.3 | Chap.4 | Chap.5 | Chap.6 | Chap.7 | Chap.8 | Chap.9 | Chap. 10 | Chap.11 | Chap.12 | Chap.13 - You’re here

The chill of the earliest hours of the day were gaining upon them as the large group made its way through the woods, as discreetly as possible. But no chill could've rivaled the one that was growing in Sasame's heart at that moment. She couldn't help the way in which her thoughts kept drifting to her husband. It had been twenty years since she had known Hideyoshi, they had met briefly before she left for her mission to find her cousin. He had always been honest, caring... Especially for those younger than him. And he had always been a man of honor... That was the trademark of the Oberatsu after all, their penchant for honor... Why would he attack a child? Was it possible... that she didn't get to know him at all...? "Mama?" The voice of her eldest, Kazuhiro, was enough to snap her out of it. The young boy was looking at her through worried dark brown irises. Sasame's sad eyes took a softer look. "Kazuhiro..." (1) "Are we... going to see my dad again...?" That was the question she had feared. The orange haired kunoichi closed her eyes for a moment as memories flooded her mind...

[Flashback] "I am begging you, you mustn't go!" The woman's eyes showed nothing but desperation as she watched her husband packing his weapons. The arrows, his small bow... And the truth that she could do nothing to stop him made her heart ache, so much so that it was almost unbearable... "This is a great honor. You should understand..." "What is a great honor?" Sasame almost cried out. "To build a village from the ashes of another? Where is the honor in that?" "Our village was destroyed, shunned, cursed... All because of that one cursed ninja who was pardoned for his crimes while we stayed aloof, fending for ourselves - barely..." "And blaming everyone else but ourselves for it!" the woman yelled. "We couldn't form a unity because each one of the clans are too egoistic to put personal matters aside and name a leader for the prosperity of Otogakure! Why should we go wage war on an innocent nation because of this?! Why can't we make allies out of them instead of enemies?!" "No, we suffer because of Orochimaru!" Hideyoshi spat, spinning around to look at her. "And if disrupting his peace meant attacking his former village, so be it! What did that so-called peace treaty bring upon us?! Otogakure was cast aside as if a useless doll - no one gave us a second thought!" "No one has to. We could solve all of our problems ourselves if we had enough backbone and a clever and selfless enough leader!" "That's enough." The man's voice was cold and hard. "You ordered Fuma out of this mission but the others all agreed to it." "And your leader hand-picked you and brainwashed you enough to repeat his own words to me. You can fool anyone but me - your heart is not entirely in this mission, either." Hideyoshi only avoided her gaze for a second, but when he looked back at her, his gaze was determined. "I know where my loyalties lie. Oto will be reformed, brought to glory. If it was to be on the blood of your friend, the Hokage..." His words were like a knife through her heart. "...so be it." Regaining her composure, Sasame straightened her back, her gaze and voice just as cold. "If you get out now... You can't come back as Fuma Sasame's husband." Hideyoshi stopped dead in his tracks as he reached to get out of the tent, and turned to look at her with sad, almost heart-broken eyes... And for a moment, Sasame couldn't even breathe as guilt and sadness washed upon her... [End of Flashback] Sasame opened her eyes with a tear, and saw Kazuhiro was still gazing at her carefully. "Mama..." "Kazuhiro, you have an important mission from now on." she mused softly, looking at the boy with a broken smile. "You are gonna have to take care of your brother and sister..." "He is not coming back..." the young boy stated, not as a question, just as a means of voicing the simple truth. "I'm afraid not, my dear child..." Sasame tried to control the trembling in her voice. "So you will be the one to fill his void... The best as you can..." As he nodded grimly, the woman was wondering how she was ever going to fill the void in her heart... ... The young woman knelt before the other two, who were finishing their preparations. "God dammit! They are here! There are twelve Konoha ninjas out there!" Hearing that, Suzume's heart skipped a beat, her eyes widening. That was what she had feared - although now to think of it, most likely what the Yoshida and the other clans planned when they left her with this punishment. She was a disgrace... If she could manage to go back unscathed, she would be allowed to have a clean slate. If not... It didn't really matter if she died here. She had just counted on the possibility that the Konoha ninjas wouldn't reach Oto this quickly. "Okay, we have to come up with a plan. This means four ninjas for each..." "Wait. Who told you we would be fighting?" The woman's head turned to her comrade. "What?" "They are here for you, not us." the second woman said matter-of-factly. "We are not gonna stand here and risk our skins." "Together we have a better chance against them!" Suzume spat, a fire burning in her eyes. "What makes you think they won't come after you if I don't make it out?!" "Then you better make sure to stop them. After all... that's the least you can do after how you failed so miserably." And with that, the two women sprinted towards the trees, leaving a horrified Suzume behind... ... The forest was quiet. Only sounds of nature waking up surrounded him as Konohamaru walked further into the clearing, his keen eyes searching everywhere, detecting every simple movement. Letting his breath out in one curt sigh, Konohamaru took another step forward... And came to a stop as he felt the sharp and cold tip of a kunai against his throat. "I assume you are looking for me." came the cold, unconcerned voice of a woman behind him. The young jounin didn't even think about it as instinct took over. In one quick motion, he dodged the blade, bent down on his knees and spun around to kick the woman's legs out from under her. Then he jumped back a little to put some distance between them and as the woman got up, he got his first glance of her. And he did take in all aspects of her appearance... Recording all of the details of this hated woman into his memory... from her black hair tucked back into the bandana of her protector with only two bangs falling before her eyes to the black eyes, black as coals... "Yoshida Suzume." he practically spat out her name, his voice filled with so much disgust. "I am here to exact justice on you for the crimes you committed against Konoha." His eyes narrowed. "And for harming my student." The woman chuckled. "Oooh, how touching... But for that..." There was a flash of light, and the next second the brunette looked, Suzume was no longer standing a few feet away from him. "...you have to catch me first." came her voice from above, from the canopy of trees. ... "Lord Sixth," Kakashi heard Kiba's voice in the ear piece. "We are closing in on them. What is our next..." Before he could finish, there was an explosion of a loud, high-pitched and ringing sound and Kakashi had to pull out the earpiece in the nick of time to protect his hearing. As the powerful blast died down slowly, the former Hokage brought the piece to his ear once again. "What is going on? Is everyone alright?" No sound came, only a weird buzzing. Cursing under his breath, he did a quick hand seal, and was suddenly surrounded by lightning... ... "You moron!" The woman ran to her friend. "I told you not to do it! You're still not an expert on sound blasts!" The woman on the ground tried to get up, but it was apparent that she wasn't doing a good job - her balance was too set off. "We needed to stop them - they were about to catch us!" Hearing a buzzing sound, the other looked up and around, gritting her teeth. Nothing could be seen, but she was sensing a powerful chakra... an insanely powerful chakra. "Good luck with that, you idiot! I'm out of here!" "What?!" the woman yelped, positively alarmed. "Wait!" But the former had already started to disappear through the trees. Clenching her jaw, the woman got to her feet, slowly, shakily... Her hands then moved to the crossed swords on her back, extracting two thin and long swords.

If it had to come down to a fight, they might as well have a taste of the Fujaku Hisho Shoken. (2)

... So that was how she wanted to play it, huh? He had made his plan as soon as she got lost between the trees. Without wasting any time, Konohamaru used a fire jutsu to create a huge fire wall in front of him, then punched the ground, which caused a whirlwind to be born. Using the air currents to his advantage, the jounin then sent the whirlwind, powered by the flames, directly to the cluster of trees. She wouldn't just stand around to get roasted. She would have to come down. Sure enough, he saw a flash of blue that probably meant she was using a water technique to meet the inferno. Light smoke began covering the area - which gave him a chance to prepare his second attack. Inhaling, the brunette let out a huge cloud of ashes from his mouth and then, jerking his head back to activate the trigger, he watched as flames instantly covered the area... A huge explosion went off, illuminating the dark sky. Konohamaru then took out eight shurikens, one in between each finger, and waited... "Geez, you're indeed going all out, aren't you?" Turning around quickly, he saw the woman for a moment before he threw half of the shurikens at her, but the next he looked, she wasn't there at all. "That kid must have really meant something to you." Turning to the second direction, Konohamaru threw the second group of the shurikens. Suzume tut tutted, her voice almost sounding like she was enjoying herself. "Now now, these rash actions won't do, will they?" "You bit-" "Hey, watch out that tongue. This is not how you talk to a lady." "News flash, I will never consider you a lady." "Hah. Guess I will have to show you, do I? Torpedo Nails!" When he heard that, the brunette jumped into the air and away from where he was just standing, just as small pieces of whatever weapon she was using embedded themselves into the ground. Not wanting to take any chances, Konohamaru put his hands together to create shadow clones. Precariously, three of the clones walked forward. As soon as they tried to take another step, though... They couldn't. Then hundreds of nails shot from the ground, and Konohamaru jumped behind a tree as the clones disappeared with a poof sound. Suzume had also hid herself behind a tree, hiding with the camouflage technique. Damn, this wouldn't do... She needed some extra help. ... Just before she used the swords to launch herself into the air, she saw someone, someone shrouded in a bright armor of lightning as it seemed, running into the clearing she had just been. Okay... lightning shouldn't be hard. Landing on a branch, the woman quickly did a set of hand signs, and then held her hands in a triangle, positioning them so that she could see the person in between them. "Curse Mandala!" she shouted, and her opponent came to a dead stop as a glowing green pyramid shape materialized around him, trapping him inside. Smirking, the woman began pulling her fingers closer. As the pyramid got tighter and tighter, though... Suddenly there was a poof sound, and the man was no longer there. "Excuse me," then came a drawl from behind her, and she immediately turned back, only to gaze into the face of a white haired man. "But I think you got the wrong one." Thinking quickly, the woman used the swords to slash at him, but next she saw, he was not there. Losing her already unsettled balance, she fell from the tree, but thanks to her wind cutter technique, she landed safely. "Passing Fang!" Without catching her breath properly, she saw something... a ferociously spinning something, which looked like a drill, heading to her way and raised her swords to counter it, but hard... it was so hard to maintain her ground like this... The power forced her to take a few steps, driving her back. Gritting her teeth, she tried her best to resist it... But it was futile. Not long after that, she felt the force of the technique throwing her back, like a rag doll, right into a rock. As she tried to get up, bringing a hand to her head, she heard the two men talking among themselves. "Are all of you okay, Kiba? What happened back there?" "It was nothing we couldn't handle, Lord Sixth, we were just caught unprepared for a second." Lord Sixth?! The woman's eyes widened. Did... a village leader... come seeking them out?! Well, shit. "That's right. I'm the Sixth Hokage, Hatake Kakashi, and it’s not possible you could escape judgement after attacking the Leaf." she heard the drawl once again as she straightened herself up. "It would be in your better interest if you surrender now without resistance..." "Well... I'm sorry, Rokudaime-sama," the woman said from between gritted teeth, emphasizing the last word sarcastically. "But I'm Kamiko from the Yoshida clan, and the Yoshida knows no such thing as surrender." She then brought her hands together to create balls of flame and threw them randomly towards the space between them, causing explosions and creating an opening for her to go into hiding. On Kakashi's signal, Kiba jumped towards the trees to take another place. "If you think you can run from us forever, think again." the former Hokage said, bringing his hands together to create lightning. Out of the charge came two hounds, who growled at him in recognition before running away. ... Suzume bit her thumb and let a bit of blood trail from the wound before slamming her hand on the ground, creating a black shape. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A huge, poisonous green and yellow snake erupted from the ground, coiling around itself before meeting her eyes. "Kessha, bury him to the ground!" Hissing once, the snake rose high into the air before slamming on the earth with a huge bang that shook almost the entire forest, and slid underground. Konohamaru had heard her move. Acting quickly, he also slammed his palm on the ground and yelled, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A huge monkey wearing a Konoha headband appeared in front of him, and as soon as he did, he yelled, "Jump!" Without hesitation the brunet did as he was told, and just when he jumped, a snake burst through the ground, baring his fangs at him. With a primeval shriek, the monkey transformed itself into a long, black and yellow staff and cloned itself right before Konohamaru landed, creating some sort of a prison wall in front of him. The snake's bared fangs collided with the many staffs that had made the wall, but the prison itself wasn't even shaken. At that time, the snake caught the eyes that were protruding from the staff, and its eyes widened. Without going for another attack, it slid back into the hole and disappeared from the view. The staff returned to its original size, releasing Konohamaru from where he was trapped, and the jounin held the staff in one hand in an attack pose while reaching for a kunai with the other. "Enma..." (3) "No words needed, boy. Better not let your guard down." the monkey king spoke from the staff. "We have faced this enemy before." ... The woman's eyes widened when she saw Kessha returning to her. "What do you think you are doing?! Keep attacking, he is not dead yet!" "Are you serious?!" the snake asked in a feminine voice, obviously furious and panicked. "You want me to fight with the fucking monkey king Enma?! Are you out of your mind?!" "So what?!" Suzume yelled, equally pissed off. "Stop being a hebiko (4), and finish them off!" ... "Wait, what do you mean we faced them before?" Konohamaru asked with a frown, thoroughly confused. "You remember back when you summoned me in the orphanage attack?" Enma's arm stretched out from the staff and he touched the adamantine with it, as if tapping his nose. "My nose never failed me. That snake the woman just used was one of those who were present in that attack." For a moment, the brunet didn't even know what to say. "W-what...?" "As you just heard it," the monkey said, glancing at him. "This woman was definitely involved in the attack against Konoha." Konohamaru's mind was reeling, so many questions and thoughts... What did this even mean? That the Sound was once again playing as Orochimaru's pioneers? Was there an even greater scheme behind all of these? Or... he didn't want to think of this, but he was a jounin and he was supposed to look at it from all angles, no matter how disturbing they might be... Was there a possibility... that the sannin wasn't involved in it... at all? He was lost in thought for a moment, he didn't notice the impending threat until Enma called out. "Watch out!" Looking up just in time, the brunette used the staff to ward off the lights, but one of them came too close to his arm, and he hissed in pain as something seared it. Then he heard the woman's high, cold laughter. "Uh oh, guess we just got busted, aren't we?" she said in a sing-song voice, which irritated the man even more. "You couldn't deny the mastermind behind the plan, though, admit it! You numb skulls didn't even suspect a thing!" "What the hell are you talking about?!" "Did you know it took us a lot of time to finally copy that damned curse seal so we can frame that bastard? It was no easy feat, and even harder to create three snakes all at once - just a couple of months ago I could only call forth two." "You..." words were failing him, he was so outraged. There was a whoosh sound right behind him then, and using the kunai he drew out earlier, he slashed, only to meet the air. “Oooh wait… did I see that blade somewhere before?” These words drew the young man’s gaze back to the kunai, and he did a double-take. He hadn’t even realized he pulled out the kunai he had gifted Mitsuki the one he found, still buzzing with lightning, on their way out of the village. His grip only tightened more on the blade as he heard the woman laughing once again, only her voice sounded from far away. "Wait, just answer me this... was that child in some way related to that snake bastard? I thought as much when he looked up at me... Was that the reason you guys kicked him out of the village? Wow, now even we couldn't have planned that!" "What does it matter if he is related to him or not?" Konohamaru yelled in rage, creating another set of clones. "He is still a child!" He then used the clones to throw shurikens towards the woman's voice from all directions. "Did you know that he begged for his life?" the woman then said, from right behind him. This time, his body acted before his mind. Lightning fast, he reached out to grab the woman's shoulder and flipped himself over her in one quick motion. As soon as he landed, still holding on to her, he threw her over himself, basically slamming her into the ground. Without giving her a chance to recover, grabbing the adamantine staff tightly, he brought the end of it, hard, to Suzume's head, seeing her eyes widening in shock. "Cranium crusher!" Just before the staff touched her, though, the woman had disappeared in a flash. The jounin stood there for a moment, enraged. How the fuck did that just happen?! A few feet away, crouched behind a rock, the Oto kunoichi brought a hand to her chest. That... had been close. ... Hearing the growls of the lightning beasts as they drew closer, Kamiko gritted her teeth, she had to do something about them - fast. Turning around, she once again used the swords to create powerful air blasts - slice after another slice - and sent them after the hounds. Easily dodging them, one of them came running at her, its fangs bared, at which the woman dug one of the swords to the ground, swinging around it and kicking the air currents at the creature's face. Although it stopped the hound, its lightning did catch her left foot and the woman cursed as she knelt on the ground, holding it. Damn, this was going to make things hard for her. Hearing a sound right then, Kamiko took a dozen shurikens and threw four of them randomly, towards the cardinal directions. She saw a ninja rushing towards her from one direction, and she pulled the strings attached to the shuriken to make it fly towards the enemy, but the weapon passed through him and the body disappeared. A clone... The real ninja then jumped her from a completely different direction, forcing her to get up, which caused pain to shout up through her left leg. She didn't have time to concentrate on it, though, as she saw the opponent's fist soaring towards her face. So he was going to rely on taijutsu, huh? Well, that was just fine with her. Gathering chakra to the tips of her fingers, she prepared to launch her attack. This was meant to cause the sound waves emitted by the body, the heartbeat for example, to respond to her chakra and make a pressure powerful enough to cause some serious damage. Bonus points if she managed to hit the enemy in the chest area. So they fought, but her opponent was good. It was apparent that he was very skilled, as he managed to dodge her every move. Her hand did come close to his body once or twice, but caused nothing more than a flinch. Just when she made another move, the ninja suddenly brought up his left arm and right leg and before she knew it, her arm was caught in between them. A crack was heard. Crying out loud from the pain, Kamiko fell on the ground, holding the broken arm. Seeing that the man was still advancing, she tried to reach one of the swords using her left arm... Out of nowhere, tiny wires wrapped around the sword and before she could touch it, the weapon broke into tiny pieces. Eyes widened in shock, she turned around herself to reach for the other, but before she could do that, a powerful blast of power sent her flying. Just when she was about to get up again, she felt something... a powerful, burning electric surge directed to her back, not piercing it, but its presence so threatening that she found it impossible to even take another step... "Chidori. A thousand birds." came the voice of the sixth behind her. "One hit and you will die the worst death... Suffering as your insides burned on with hundreds of volts." Feeling the kunoichi shiver before him, Kakashi continued in the same cold tone. "Surrender now. It's over." There was really nothing else she could do. Slowly, cursing under her breath for it... She raised her hands up. ... Suddenly hearing a buzz from his ear piece, Konohamaru concentrated on it, while his keen eyes searched everywhere for Suzume. "We are done here, Konohamaru. It's all up to you now." Hearing that, a big grin etched its way on his face. That was it... "Did you hear that?" he yelled towards the woman, although he knew that she probably didn't. "Your little friend is finished. You are all alone now!" "Oh. Just like how you left that kid alone?" came the woman's voice. "I know what you did. I know how you trapped him so we couldn't hear him!" "Bet you didn't know how he was crying when we were finished with him, though?" came her whisper from right behind him then, and for a moment... everything came to a stop as the jounin froze... literally froze. He didn't believe her other words from before... He knew Mitsuki would never beg for his life and he knew for sure that no matter what that woman believed, he wasn't sent away from Konoha, Lord Seventh would never allow that... But... he... was crying...? How deeply must he have been hurt - not just physically but emotionally too - after what he had gone through in the village...? And they could do nothing to stop it... He himself had failed as his sensei... "Boy look out!" he heard Enma's voice, but then it was too late. He hadn't noticed Suzume sneaking up behind him. There was an explosion and Konohamaru felt himself thrown into the air, with a burning pain in his back. He landed a few feet away, and brought a hand to his wounds as he tried to get up. Enma was beside him in a second, with a disapproving look on his face. "Didn't I tell you not to get distracted? Zoning out is the last thing you would want to do with someone like her around! Get a grip already!" "I-I know," the brunet mumbled. "I'm fine..." Then he once again heard the voice of the Lord Sixth coming from the earpiece, although his tone was harsher than before. "Konohamaru. If you are going to be careless, I will have to step in." Then his voice softened a little. "You have come this far this good. You wanted to fight her alone. Don't let me take this chance away from you now." Those... were just the words he needed. Closing his eyes, Konohamaru straightened himself and got up, forgetting about the pain for a moment to concentrate on ending this. Focusing on his chakra, he called upon a rasengan... A big one... and watched it as it got bigger... [Flashback] ...this... this was not happening... It felt like time had stopped, trapping Konohamaru inside his own personal hell as he watched, too shocked to even breathe, his student... passing away... right before his very eyes… What he wouldn't give to be dying in Mitsuki's place right now... He was too young... Just barely thirteen... He did not deserve this - he deserved to live!... "...Sh... Shall I announce the time...?" When he heard the nurse... all of a sudden, he snapped back to life. Without seeing eyes, he strode to the door and burst it open, rushing inside... Two of the nurses managed to barely stop him before he reached the bed, and Konohamaru tried to control his breathing as he looked at an unmoving Mitsuki. "Konohamaru-san, please..." one of the nurses mumbled, tearing up. "Mitsuki!" the jounin yelled, barely recognizing his own voice, filled with so many emotions. "You can do this, kiddo, don't give up! You are so much stronger than this! Come back to us!" "Konohamaru-san, please you have to step back...!" said one of the nurses, she barely had the strength to push back a man like Konohamaru and he was clearly not accepting his student's death but... there was nothing more they could do...! The kid... was gone... his heart didn't respond... "Tsunade-sama...?" murmured the second nurse, looking at the former Hokage. "Wait... wait just a second..." Sakura mumbled in Tsunade's place, her eyes still on the machine. "Sakura-san... It might be too much already..." One of the nurses warned her. "No... no, please... please don't give up on him... He's strong, he'll pull through... I'm begging you, please don't give up..." Konohamaru said, almost as if in a trance. "Let's just leave the child in peace..." another nurse said, her voice shaky. Tsunade snapped back to herself and hastily hushed the nurse, staring at Sakura. "Sakura-san..." But as the nurse was about to mumble the same words as before... a tiny but sudden sound erupted from the machine, causing everyone's eyes to immediately set at it. As the heart rate slowly, very slowly fell back to a steady rhythm, Sakura broke into a smile, and laughed softly, while tears fell down from her eyes. "You really do like your surprises, don't you?" she mused fondly, leaning over to kiss Mitsuki on the top of his head. A tear fell on the closed eye of the child. Tsunade smiled too, but it was a broken smile. "Really, kid... I'm not a young woman anymore, don't scare us like that..." Konohamaru was hit by such a huge wave of relief that he almost couldn't stand his ground. He brought his hand over his mouth as he began to softly cry himself. He didn't object this time as the nurse told him he should really wait outside, and silently retreated out of the room, his eyes on Mitsuki all the time. [End of Flashback] He heard a sliding sound, trees crushing as the giant snake once again made her way to him. His eyes, however, were locked on the woman, who stood behind the beast, a disgusting smirk all over her face... And Konohamaru stroke forward. He swung the adamantine staff towards the snake, enlarging the staff. Enma burst out at the end of it, wrapping his arms around the snake before he pierced her throat with his fangs. And before she could do anything... Konohamaru had grabbed the woman by her collar, slamming her into a tree... Suzume's eyes widened for one last time before the rasengan hit her chest with full force. It was over... ... Enma turned to his normal form as the other Konoha ninjas gathered around, all just silently looking at the brunet. The monkey king had a small smile on his face, his look both exasperated and proud. 'You have quite the grandson, Sarutobi...' he thought to himself. ... Dropping the woman's body to the ground, the jounin looked at her expressionlessly, feeling only... relieved... a whole... [Flashback] Konohamaru felt so proud of his students... The second round of the Chuunin exams was over, and they had managed excellent teamwork. Much better than what he expected, really, what with Boruto being Boruto... Speaking of which, he noticed two genins in his team were approached by their family, receiving cheers and congratulations, big smiles on their faces... and of course, Boruto had been in a gloating mode... The next thing he noticed was his third student... standing all by himself, a couple of feet away from them, just looking at his two teammates and their families with a small smile. And something about that bothered the young jounin. About how Mitsuki had no one to cheer for him, at least for that moment... Making his decision, he started walking towards him. The blue haired boy was surprised when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to gaze into the smiling face of his sensei. "Well done, kiddo, great job," Konohamaru said encouragingly. "I knew you guys would do it." And slowly, the boy's face broke into a full-on smile as well... [End of Flashback] 'Thank you... sensei...' Hearing the faint voice brought by the wind itself, the brunet's eyes widened for a moment. Before he knew it, he had fallen on his knees beside Suzume's body, his head bowed low as he started weeping softly, and the sun's first rays began seeping through the trees...        

--

A.N:

(1) Remember or note down these names. They are gonna be very important in the following projects. (2) You can search this and almost all of the technique names listed on this chapter on Narutopedia. (3) This Enma is the Enma who was Hiruzen's personal summon. We do not use Konohamaru's canon summons, the toad or the monkey, in our storyline. (4) This literally means snake child, but I used it here to mean "baby snake", as in Suzume telling Kessha to stop acting like a scared baby.

[actionnerdgamerlove]

Do You Want Me Now - Chapter 25: Beach Week, Part One

Find it on AO3

Many, many thanks to @laughingatlivedragons for her help with this chapter - Geralt's past vacations couldn't have happened without you, my love!

“Hey Geralt,” Jaskier called from the living room, “Are you a beach person?”

She heard him hum as he came out of the upstairs bathroom. She’d heard the shower shut off, and was waiting for him at the foot of the stairs.

“This isn’t a show, Jask,” Geralt growled (without any real heat in it) as he walked down the stairs, shirtless, toweling off his hair. “Maybe I should start selling tickets,” he rolled his eyes as he said it, but he was secretly delighted. Anytime Jaskier was home and able to catch him showering, she’d wait for him to come out, just to see him without a shirt on. (She usually waited downstairs in the living room, or the kitchen; she didn’t just hover outside of the bathroom.) She never said anything; just looked at him – and it was always the same look. She looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. No one had ever looked at Geralt like that before; not even when he was married.

“I mean, I do pay rent; is this not an amenity that’s included?” Larkin laughed, but then turned serious. “Geralt, for real though, if I’m making you uncomfortable, say the word, and it won’t happen again.”

“It’s fine,” he said while rolling his eyes, fondly. “I just – I figured the novelty would have worn off after six plus months, y’know?”

“NOPE! The effect of your physical beauty is just too compelling; I am powerless to resist.” Jask threw her hand over her forehead dramatically, leaning back.

“So, before we got sidetracked with your weird fascination with me,” the teasing note in Geralt’s voice made Larkin beam. “What’d you ask me?” he ended by throwing his towel over her head, enjoying the squawk and sputtering noises coming from under the towel. It had taken him a while to get used to the fact that Larkin just…rolled with stuff like that. He watched her pull the towel off her head, then point upstairs, then downstairs, asking him if he wanted it back in the bathroom, or down in the laundry. Geralt pointed upstairs; he’d just gotten it out. She took the stairs two at a time, and presumably hung it up on his hook in the bathroom.

Huh, he thought. Geralt wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he draped her in his towel, but return towel service was not it.

Larkin noticed the bewildered look on his face when she came back downstairs. “’Tis but a small price to pay, for the simple joy of letting me ogle you,”

“You’re weird,” he told her. Because she was. But he really liked it.

“Yep!” Larkin walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling out her phone. “Oh, so. Do you like the beach? Are you a beach person?”

Geralt felt like this was a trick question. “Why?” he asked, suspicious.

“Why do I get the feeling you think I’m going to try to do something mean, Geralt? Relax, sir. A friend of mine just said I could use her beach house for the summer, that’s all. I wanted to know if you wanted to go sometime.”

This has to be a trick, he thought. Who just doesn’tuse a beach house during the summer?

“Why isn’t she gonna use it?”

“She’s going on tour, she won’t be around. Shame, too, she’s a lot of fun.”

“Who is it?” Geralt asked, still skeptical.

“Taylor Swift,” Larkin said, like it was NBD.

Fucking WHAT.

*****

[White Wolf 6:30 PM]: Taylor Swift is lending Jask her beach house for the summer and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her.

[Eskel 6:30 PM]: Wait a minute. Taylor Swift wanted to know if you wanted to go with Jask, or Jask wanted to know if you wanted to go with Jask?

[White Wolf 6:31 PM]: Jask wanted to know if I wanted to go.

[Lambert 6:32 PM]: WAIT BACKUP. TAYLOR SWIFT? This is a joke, right?

[White Wolf 6:33 PM]: No joke, I made Jask show me the texts. Jask has a bunch of photos of the two of them together, apparently Jask stayed there for like a month last summer, before we met.

[Lambert 6:34 PM]: OH MY GOD, SHE DID. She said she was staying at a friend’s! She never said it was fucking Taylor Swift!

[White Wolf 6:34 PM]: Question still stands.

[Lambert 6:35 PM]: What was the question? Is there a question? You’re going, right? Is that the question? Do you not want to go? Why wouldn’t you go?

[Eskel 6:35 PM]: Seriously, Geralt – why wouldn’t you go?

[White Wolf 6:36 PM]: What’re we gonna do?

[Eskel 6:36 PM]: What do you do here?

[White Wolf 6:37 PM]: Nothing. Hangout. Go running. Cook. Watch movies.

[Lambert 6:38 PM]: I still can’t see you being ‘chill’, she is a literal miracle worker. Anyhoo. Do all that. At the BEACH.

[Eskel 6:39 PM]: Yes. Please go. Jas is asking you to go on a vacation, Ger. When was the last time you went on a vacation?

[White Wolf 6:40 PM]: Yen.

[Lambert 6:40 PM]: DEAR GOD PLEASE GO. I guarantee that Jas does vacations VERY differently. There won’t be an agenda every day. I promise.

*****

Geralt’s last vacation had been…intense. He and Yennefer had gone to Amsterdam for two weeks and to Geralt it had been…a LOT. Cities weren’t necessarily his favorite place in general, but throw in almost a million inhabitants, drugs and hookers EVERYWHERE, the waterworks, a literal shitton of bicycles and the mix of posh and historic – there was NOTHIING relaxing about that vacation.

It wasn’t a vacation, it was a trip. Lambert wasn’t exaggerating – Yen had actually come up with a written agenda every day, thinking it would appeal to the control freak in Geralt.

It did not. It actually made Geralt even more anxious, because it made him feel like there was a scheduled timetable they had to keep. And when Yen would dawdle, and throw off the timing of the agenda-

You can see how this did not appeal to Geralt AT ALL.

In general, his marriage to Yennefer had been intense on a level that was unsustainable for them both (hence the divorce) and he knew, he knew Jaskier was nothing like Yen, and would therefore probably vacation very differently.

But he was still kind of freaking out about it.

*****

Larkin could tell something was bothering her beloved Wolf. She’d asked him about going to the beach, and he’d just…avoided the question. That…was not Geralt’s style, AT ALL. She’d mentioned it to Lauren, her therapist, and Lauren had suggested that perhaps Geralt had had a bad vacation experience, once upon a time.

Larkin hadn’t thought of that.

Armed with this potential realization, Larkin attempted to bring it up once more.

“Geralt, would it be ok if I talked to you about maybe going to the beach again?” She asked one night as they were clearing dinner dishes. She watched his shoulders tense up.

Oh boy, she thought.

“Sure,” Geralt said, sounding utterly defeated.

Ok, WHAT THE FUCK, thought Larkin. Who hurt my Wolf with a VACATION?

“Geralt,” she started, watching him load the dishwasher, back to her, obviously uncomfortable. “You know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I can’t make you go. You won’t hurt my feelings if you say no.”

Geralt turned to face her, over the open dishwasher trays. “No, it’s not – that’s not-“ he took a breath. “Why me?”

Larkin was puzzled. “I don’t understand the question. You’re like my favorite person; I love spending time with you. I thought it might be a nice break from the farm, and school? If it being just the two of us makes you uncomfortable, I can invite-“

“Why would it being just the two of us make me uncomfortable? We live together, just the two of us.”

“Ok, so it’s not me that’s the problem.” Larkin was glad to get that sorted out; she’d worried she’d freaked him out by asking him alone.

“Of course you’re not the problem – you’re never a problem, Jask.” Geralt was looking at Larkin like she were speaking moon-man language.

“Is there a problem? Do you…not like vacations?”

“No, Jas, it’s not-“ he sighed. Larkin watched him push a lock of hair out of his eyes. “My last vacation was…not fantastic. It was very…structured. There was a written daily agenda. It was like a two-week long bad day.”

“Geralt, I don’t mean to be smart, but are you sure that was a vacation? That sounds like an extra circle of hell, to me.”

“It was.”

“Ok. So, knowing that, that isn’t really what I had in mind? I mean, if there’s stuff we want to do, we can talk about it before hand, and I don’t really think we’d need to write it down, but if you wanted to, I guess we could? Like, I’m not sure you’d really need to write down “go for a run” or “let’s go fishing”?

“Fishing?” Geralt’s ears perked up at that.

“Yeah, there’s a bunch of fun stuff we could do, if you want. There’s hiking trails, fishing, I think Taylor’s leaving me her boat, so there’s that-“

“A BOAT?”

Geralt was fully invested now. He left the dishwasher wide open and came to sit next to Jaskier on a barstool at the kitchen island.

“I mean, she is Taylor Swift. It’s a pretty sweet boat.”

“You know how to use it?”

“Yes, Geralt. Former Viscountess, remember? I got that angle covered,” Larkin said, smiling. “If you want, I’ll send you the address, and the website for the town. You can see all the stuff they have going on, it’s a really nice place – both the house and the town.”

“It’s not a city?”

“Oh, Lord, no. This place is the definition of laid-back small town. Lemme ask you this – what are your concerns, other than an agenda driven nightmare of anti-relaxation?”

Geralt snorted. That was exactly what he was worried about. “Lotta people, crowds, feeling cornered.”

“Ok. Can you give me one second to get my laptop? I have some photos I think might help.”

Larkin waited for Geralt to nod, and she hopped up and grabbed her laptop from the living room. She flipped it into tablet mode, and opened a photo album titled “Taylor – Beach – 1st year”.

“Ok, so, this is going to seem silly, but she sent me a video tour of her house, because I was nervous before going the first time.”

“How many times have you been there?” Geralt asked, sounding insanely curious.

“Last year was my third year. She hasn’t really changed much with the house since she took this video.”

Larkin pressed play, and the video showed Taylor, in all her blonde “girl-next-door” glory, starting outside a really nice-looking tan-clapboard-sided ridiculously big beach house, that looked like it was in the middle of fucking nowhere. She walked around the paved drive, showing the marshland across the road from the house, then walked up to the house, up the big front entry stairway, into a foyer the size of their living room. She continued the tour through what seemed like five separate living rooms, a massively well-equipped kitchen, several different dining areas, the 97 bedrooms, the outdoor living areas on the deck outside, and then the little walkway out to the private beach. Taylor did a 360-degree spin on the beach. There were no neighbors.

All in all, the video was thirty minutes long. There was a lot of goofy, silly good-friend stuff throughout; Taylor made up songs about the different rooms, she essentially sang the tour to Jaskier. She ended it by saying “I love you; I can’t wait to see you. We’ll have fun. I promise.”

Geralt looked at Larkin with a look she couldn’t translate. “Did you guys…date?”

“Huh? Oh, that. No. I met her shortly after the fallout of the Countess bullshit. I was…not okay. She was really kind, and a really good friend. She’s still a really good friend. No, we didn’t date.” Larkin smiled at the fond memories the video brought back. It had been a really shitty time, and Taylor, and that beach house made everything a lot less shitty.

“What did you guys do?”

“We sang a lot, we laid on the beach, we took walks, we ate – boy, did we eat, I tell you what that girl can EAT, Geralt; you wouldn’t think it to look at her but GOODNESS. It was great.”

“Why was it great?”

“It was just nice to be able to see her being herself, like, instead of the person society says she is; she wanted to eat, so she did. I did a lot of cooking while I was with her, it was fantastic. We went to the boardwalk a couple times, but we had to kind of lay low, because she’s a BIG DEAL. She has an aunt in town, Aunt Karen, so mostly the townsfolk are real chill about her being there, but sometimes the tourists are the WORST. We went out on the boat, we went fishing, and we slept a lot. Sometimes on the boat, sometimes on the beach. We got really tan.”

“That house has a lot of bedrooms,”

“Doesn’t it? To this day I haven’t slept in them all; it’s my mission in life to do that. I feel like the house keeps gaining extra bedrooms, so it’s always one step ahead of me.” Larkin turned to Geralt. “So, that’s kind of the extent of the excitement. It’s definitelynot crowded, unless you bring people with you. There’s a soundproof music room, so that’s cool. I think you’ll like that feature,” Larkin said with a smile.

“Hey!” Geralt said, sounding somewhat offended. “That was like, one time. Ok, maybe more than one time. But not a lot of times!”

“I’m kidding, big guy. You have been so gracious about my constant noise making, really. I tease.” Larkin considered the man next to her. “You know, you still haven’t answered my original question – do you even like going to the beach?”

“The way you describe ‘beach time’ is not the way I’ve experienced beach time in the past. Your way sounds much more enjoyable.”

“Did you have agendas for beach time, too?” Larkin was horrified someone would desecrate beach time that way.

“Kind of. It wasn’t relaxing, let’s say.”

“Wow. So, it’s like this. You wake up in the morning and want to go hiking? We do that. I wake up and want to lie on the beach for a while, and you don’t? I lie on the beach and you do whatever you want to do. We want to do something together? We figure it out, and do it. If there is a specific something happening on a specific day, that we want to hit? We work it in. There’s like, sightseeing we could do, but it’s not like ‘going to the oldest European city EVER and needing to see every piece of every shard of something someone really old carried from one place to another’ kind of sightseeing. There are a couple nature preserves in the area, and a lot of really good places for nature photos.”

“This sounds too good to be true.”

“Right? I am ridiculously lucky to have such a good friend. I wish she wasn’t going on tour for so long, I think you’d really like her. She’s super goofy, she’s a lot of fun.”

“What’s Renfri think of her?”

“Renfri LOVES HER. She gets heart eyes the entire time Taylor is anywhere in the vicinity. It’s hysterical.”

“Are they…a thing?”

“I’ve never asked, and neither of them has ever said. Taylor deserves privacy. I want them both to be happy. If that’s with each other, then I know they’ll have a good time.”

“So wait. You said she gave you this house for the summer – are you going to be there ALL summer?” Geralt asked. Larkin thought he sounded panicky.

“I, uh, hadn’t really thought about it. I still plan on paying rent, Geralt, it’s not like I’m moving out or anything,”

“I wasn’t worried about the rent, Lark,” Geralt said, making a face at her.

“Then what are you worried about?” Larkin asked, giving Geralt a concerned look.

“Three months is just…a long time,”

Larkin thought that wasn’t exactly what Geralt wanted to say. Larkin was pretty sure she heard “I’ll miss you,” instead. Now it was her turn to hum.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be there for three months straight, for sure. I do think I want to go before Taylor leaves, so I can see her for a couple days before she’s gone, and I’d like to spend some time with you there, and I think I want to get my brother and sister there for a couple days, too; obviously you’re welcome for that, if you want. They love you, they’d love to see you. Other than that, I don’t really have any ‘must-do’s’ other than maybe having everyone there at the same time? Do you think Eskel and Lambert would want to come? And Aiden? And maybe Triss?”

Yes, Geralt thought. But do I want them to come, is the question.

“What about Renfri?” he said instead, noticing that she hadn’t mentioned her best friend.

“Oh, obviously Renfri would be invited at some point. But she’s already gone with me before. I’ll talk to you before I go, Geralt, it’s not like I’m just gonna up and leave without saying anything,” she paused. “And hopefully, you’d be willing to come with me, at least once,”

“Lemme think about it. I see my therapist tomorrow, I want to talk to him first. I’m serious, Larkin, I really will think about it. I do want to go, it’s just – beforetimes.

“Beforetimes.” She nodded, sadly. Larkin knew exactly what he meant.

*****

Geralt was almost able to predict exactly what Frank, his therapist, was going to say.

“So, let’s break this down. You’re afraid of two things. You’re afraid of going on vacation because vacations with Yennefer were not enjoyable for you, and you’re afraid future vacations will also be not enjoyable. But you’re also afraid of Larkin being away for an extended amount of time. Are those both accurate statements?”

“Yes.” Geralt wanted to argue about the use of the word ‘afraid’ but knew it was pointless because he was, in fact, afraid.

“Let’s start with the overall vacation idea, because I think that one might be a little easier to navigate.”

“Not every vacation is going to be like a Yennefer vacation.”

“You’re getting pretty good at this, maybe we should switch chairs,” Frank said, making Geralt smirk. He really liked his therapist. He’d been seeing Frank for four years; Frank had taken over when his last therapist had retired. He’d liked his last therapist, too; he’d gotten pretty lucky that way. Frank was real. He used examples from real life to illustrate and make parallels. He understood PTSD. He understood Geralt’s limits, and didn’t push – too hard. He called Geralt on his bullshit, in a gentle and professional way. He was a really good therapist.

“You said Larkin gave you an idea of what vacationing at this specific location, specifically with her, would be like. Correct?”

“Yes.”

“And what did she make it sound like?”

“Perfect.”

“Ok. Do you trust Larkin?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s honest. Because she’s down to Earth. Because she cares about me.”

“Do you think anything she said about this beach house, or spending time with her there, is made up, or embellished?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I gotta tell you, I’m really skeptical that she knows Taylor Swift.”

“I’m telling you, Frank, I saw the video. Taylor Swift made Jas a half an hour video five years ago singing her way through this fucking humongous gorgeous beach house. She used Jaskier’s name several times in the video. She told Jas she loved her at the end of it. There are pictures of the two of them together at this house, and other places. Jas has text messages on her phone from her.”

“Well, those could just be made up,”

“Frank. I know you googled Larkin. She’s not making this up. If anything, the HOUSE is made up, but it’s not, because there are pictures of her and Renfri, and Taylor Swift all on the couches and at tables together.”

“You have a fascinating roommate.”

“Yep.”

“Back to the vacation idea. So. How certain are you that Jaskier is telling the truth about the laid-back beach vacation of which she speaks?”

“99.9% certain.”

“And the .1%?”

“It sounds too good to be true.”

“Face it, Geralt, a lot of Jaskier sounds too good to be true, but it isn’t, because you’ve lived with her now for what, over six months?”

“Yep.”

“And there are parts of Jaskier that are NOT too good to be true, correct?” Frank asked, giving Geralt A LOOK.

“Yes.”

“But you still like living with her?”

“I do.”

“I think that brings us to our second point.”

“Joy.”

“Geralt. You knew we’d get here eventually. So. You don’t like the idea of Jaskier being gone for three months straight. How come?”

“I just…don’t want her to be gone that long. That’s a long time.”

“Ok, Geralt, I feel that it is my place to remind you that you’re safe here, you know that, and it’s ok to have feelings, here and everywhere else. Care to delve in to that last bit a little deeper?”

“I’ll miss her.”

“There you go.” Frank paused. “Ok, I’m going to ask, and I won’t push about this one. Why will you miss her?”

Geralt sighed. Yep, he thought. This is the problem.

“I love her.”

“Oh, shit!” Frank exclaimed, his face a mask of surprise. Geralt had never actually seen Frank look really, actually surprised. “I honestly thought that one was gonna take longer.”

Geralt just stared at him.

“Oh, come on, Geralt. I am not your brothers; I’m not going to bust your balls over this but even still. It has been obvious to me for quite a while, and especially since that fucking wedding what the actual fuck is wrong with her family- I apologize. That was inappropriate. Accurate, but inappropriate. Anyway. It’s been fairly obvious for quite a while that you care about her deeply. That’s all I’m gonna say. You pay me to notice things. So I noticed. Mazel Tov, man. For what it’s worth, from what you’ve told me about her, you guys are a very good fit. You’ve both dealt with some really serious shit together in the time you’ve known one another, and you’ve handled it well, both separately, and together. So, good luck, if you decide to move things in a more romantic direction. In my nonprofessional opinion, I think that will be received very well.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Geralt was feeling kind of bewildered, both from admitting OUT LOUD that he loved his roommate in the ‘Yeah, I’d kind of like to get married to you,’ way; but also that his therapist already knew about it, and thought his chances of success were high.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Finding out the truth about Freddie; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Here we go with the next chapter, now I hope you got your tissues ready cause I swear people, these next few chapters are gonna be heavy. Now in this one there is an insane amount of fluff first but then as the story goes on, YEESH! I’ll say this I HATED writing a portion of this chapter cause I was CRYING!!!

Also in the near future I may do a sorta HC type thing because there is one additional surprise that’s in this chapter (it’s nothing bad trust me) but I may just do that instead of making another fic of it. But I hope you all enjoy this part as much as you enjoyed the previous. And look out for the next and final update coming in just a few.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@platawnic​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@kairosfreddie​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@naturalswifty89​

@starswin​

@bohemiansweede​

@5sos-wdw​

@labessieisallama​

@isabella-bby​

@dj-lowkey​

_______________________________________________________________

*December 15th, 1990*

It was like any other day in holiday home of Montreux.  I was getting the place ready for the boys to stay while they got some work done. Brian wouldn’t tell me much but just the fact that the press were really hounding on Freddie lately. Now I have heard that there had been rumors that Freddie was sick but of what I had no idea.

The boys refused to tell me every time I asked. The last time I had seen Freddie and the guys in the public view was when they won the award for best band of the 1980’s.  

And I’ll definitely say that something did look wrong with him, he was so thin and pale it was like I wasn’t even looking at the same person.  But a walking corpse.  I checked the clock really quick and said to myself.

“Okay Jack should be back with them any minute. Their flight was supposed to have come in a half hour ago. That is if there had been no delay. But there shouldn’t have been otherwise he’d call me. Okay bedrooms have been assigned, dinner’s just about done, and the twins are upstairs napping. Susan will drop Kelly back home after the playdate with Amy, okay I think that’s everything.”

Soon I heard two separate barks from upstairs on the balcony.  I knew that it was Sammy our 3 year old golden retriever and Bucky our 6 year old German Shepherd, sounding the alarm that company had arrived.  I smiled and raced towards the door and opened it to reveal the guys coming out of the cars.

I smiled widely and raced towards them not helping myself to an ecstatic squeal that came out of my mouth.

“Ahh her royal majesties have finally arrived!” As the first person I tackled in a hug was Brian.  Seeing me coming at him, he immediately was ready as he picked me up and spun me around making me laugh as I said.

“Oh you guys look at you all!” He set me down as I brought Deacy in for the next hug.  He pecked my cheek and embraced me back and as I hugged Roger and Fred at the same time I said, “Oh it’s been too long, I’ve missed my boys soo much. Oi,” I separated from them and gathered them together so that I could scold them like the mother I was, “Just because you four are now some hotshot band of the 80’s doesn’t mean you can forget about the people who most love you four. I worry about you guys I expect a call every now and then.”

“You know we check in on you love.” Said Roger. I grinned at him and said.

“Yeah I know but still. I don’t want you four to forget about little ol me.”

“Darling it’s impossible to forget about you.” Said Freddie.

“Hey you guys hungry? I’ve made cornbread and chilly.” I asked.

“Wait did I just hear cornbread and chilly?” Jack suddenly came into the group circle making us laugh and I said.

“Yes darling, it’s in the stove, should be done about now.” I took the guys inside the house and as they got a good view of the house from the inside Deacy said.

“Wow (y/n), your home is beautiful.”

“Thanks Deacy, the perfect vacation home for three kids. But oh lord the sleepovers that will happen in the future. It’ll fit an entire classroom.” I teased the last part.

“Speaking of which where are the little ankle biters at?” asked Roger.

“Well the twins are upstairs taking their afternoon nap, and Kelly is at a friend’s place. Should be back around 5-10 minutes or so.”

“How have they been doing?” asked Brian.

“Well the twins just had their 18month checkup about a month ago. Everything’s all healthy, Jack Jr. grew another 3inches. And Georgie gained 3 extra pounds.” Deacy whistled and said.

“Seems you’ve got a weed on your hands with Jack.”

“Tell me about it, by the time the boy’s in junior high, he’ll probably be as tall as an NBA player.” They looked at me confused and that’s when I stated, “Basketball player.” To which they nodded in understandment.

“And how’s the little nightingale?” asked Freddie.

“She’s been good. Really liking her kindergarten class, her teacher says she’s the smartest little girl she’s ever seen.”

“And we wouldn’t expect nothing less, she’s like her mother in every sense, shape and form.” Roger praised as he gave me a fatherly peck on the temple.  I playfully shoved him and said.

“But I know she’ll be excited to see you all. She doesn’t even know you guys are coming.”

“My, my you are a sneaky mother lion aren’t yah dear?” teased Freddie.

“I do my best Fred. Okay so let me show you all to your rooms so you can set your stuff down and then we can have dinner.” I then led the boys up the stairs.

But as I reached the top I began to notice that Fred seemed to be struggling immensely.  

I walked back down towards him and took his luggage and he looked at me and I smiled softly, hoping that I wasn’t crossing any boundaries.

“Thank you darling.” He said with a nod and I nodded back to him and tried to help him up the stairs but he refused telling me that he got it under control.

“Okay Freddie this room is yours,”

“Thank you darling.” He said as he set himself down on the bed and for the first time since arriving I saw him truly become relaxed. I set his stuff down at his bedside and said to him.

“I’ll let you know when dinner’s finally ready.” He thanked me once more and that’s when we all heard barking coming down the hall.

Bucky had entered Freddie’s room and trotted right up towards him.

“Hi Bucky!” Freddie said trying to sound enthusiastically but that’s when Bucky started to bark at him and not in the happy way.  He almost sounded alarmed or defensive.  I walked up towards him telling him as I ruffled his fur.

“What is wrong with you yah rotter? It’s just Freddie.”

“Oh I think my outfit just smells like Delilah that’s all.”

“I am so sorry Freddie he’s never acted this way before to anyone.” I apologized.

“No apologizes necessary darling.” He assured me. I knelt down to Bucky’s height and he sniffed under my chin whimpering and grunting as I scowled him.

“What’s the matter with you huh? It’s like you smelled something bad on him.” Bucky let out a couple more barks before a whistle was heard and Bucky went trotting over to Roger who began to pet him.  “Again Fred I’m so sorry about this, hopefully Sammy will be nicer for the both of them. You just get yourself situated and I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

“No need to hover over me like a mama bear darling, I’ll be fine.” I just grinned at him and left his room and took the rest of band members of Queen to their rooms.

Deacy and Roger had rooms that were next door to each other’s while Brian’s room was just across from the master bedroom.

Once the guys got settled in, Jack had gotten the table set up and now everyone was gathered around the table ready to eat. I set the food down and I heard Roger say.

“Ahh about time, at least this will be better than airplane food.”

“Oh (y/n) this smells absolutely delicious.” Complimented Brian.

“Thank you boys, and please help yourselves to as much as you want.”  We all then dug into our dinner.

“So how far did you say the studio was from here?” asked Freddie.

“It’s literally 20 minutes from here. Can’t miss it, it’s a beautiful building. I’m actually about to do some recording myself there tomorrow for my next album.”

“Mind telling us about it?” asked Roger.

“Oh no, no, no, no, no you cheeky devils. You’ll have to wait till it hits the shelves. I’m not spilling a single detail.”

“Ahh come on love, we tell each other everything in regard to work.” Said Brian.

“Nope, not gonna get anything outta me.” I said as I took a spoonful of chilly into my mouth.  The front door soon opened and shut as we all heard a tiny little girl’s voice call out.

“Hi mummy!”

“There she is.” Proclaimed Deacy.  Soon coming around the corner at 5 years old now with my (h/c) locks that went past her shoulders and (e/c) eyes that shined like little gems was my dear little Kelly.

“Uncle Deacy!” She raced over to Deacy who picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he said.

“How’s my favorite niece doing? Ohh you’re getting so big.”

“I see how it is Kelly, you go to Deacy but ignore the rest of us.” Freddie taunted.

“No Uncle Freddie, I never forget about you!” Kelly whined.  Freddie grinned at her and said.

“I know you wouldn’t. Now come give your uncle Freddie a kiss my little nightingale.” Kelly got out of Deacy’s lap and went over to Freddie who picked her up and kissed both her cheeks.  I noticed that Freddie was straining to pick her up, he tried to hide it but I could see it in his face as he picked her up.

“And what of my hug and kiss Kelly?” Brian asked. She giggled and Freddie passed her over to Brian.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed Brian’s cheek.  I picked up Jack Jr. from his booster seat while Jack took Daniel.  Brian gave Kelly her Eskimo kiss before kissing her forehead which made her giggle.

“Where’s papa Roger?” she asked innocently.  I turned to Roger who went to grab another beer can to see his goddaughter being held in Brian’s arms.  I grinned at him as he said as he set his beer down.

“Why don’t you turn around and find out.” Kelly immediately turned around and raced towards Roger who got down to her height and picked her up under her arms holding her close to his chest which caused the whole room to erupt with soft laughs.

Just like me, Kelly’s always favored Roger out of the guys.  Thankfully Roger took the role of godfather to a whole new level.  Anytime I needed advice with Kelly, he was always there day or night.  He adored Kelly with all his heart and like he did with me, he treated Kelly like his own child and gave her the entire world.

“You happy to see your uncles and your god papa sweetie?” asked Jack.

“I’m very happy.” Roger hugged her close to him and repeatedly kissed Kelly’s cheek making her giggle and squirm in his arms.

“And get this poppet, your uncles and godfather will be staying here with us for a while whilst they get some work done.” I told her.  Her eyes lit up and she turned to Roger and asked him.

“Really?”

“That’s right love, hope you won’t get too sick of us like your mother does.” Roger teased.

“No I miss you guys!” She said as she hugged Roger’s neck and buried her face into it which made all of us laugh.  Roger kissed her head and set back down in his seat while I got a bowl ready for Kelly.  Once I set it down, she whined out, “Aww mummy, I don’t like chilly though!”

“Sorry darling but you’re gonna have to expand your eating habits. Just try a couple of bites.” I told her.  She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest pouting.

“Ahh come on now lovey, listen to your mummy and try at least a spoonful.” Said Roger as he gave her the puppy dog eyes but Kelly still refused.

“Okay then, I guess that means I’ll have to give the extra ice cream sandwiches to one of the guys then.” I started off.  It was then Kelly perked up and said.

“Wait! Wait! I want an ice cream sandwich!” I smirked knowing that I had her right where I wanted her.  I knelt down in front of her and said to her.

“Then you’ve got to eat your chilly.” She whined as she looked between her bowl and me.  “It’s either that or not dessert monkey.” She then finally gave in and reached for her spoon and took a bite of the chilly.  “That’s my girl.” I kissed the top of her head as Roger said.

“You’re so bad with her.”

“Well I did learn from the best,” I pecked his cheek and went to grab the ice cream sandwiches from the freezer.

The rest of the night was spent catching up with the guys and eating our dessert.  Kelly was coloring in her coloring book while the boys were playing with their blocks at the center of the living room.

“So how have you two adjusted to dealing with 3 kids now?” asked Brian.

“It’s a struggle at times, but we’re happy to have our boys.” I said.

“Jack Jr. is an angel from heaven, Georgie however is a little devil in disguise. Jack Jr. clears his plate like a gentleman, Georgie on the other hand will just scatter his food down to the floor. Like the other day they were eating cheerios and he goes shoving the cheerios onto the ground, but what he does next is that he just looks at me like this,” Jack then made a ‘stare-down’ face as he said, “Like he’s saying, ‘I know you’re gonna pick that up’.” Which got the guys laughing.

“Trust me Jack, I went through the same thing with Robert when he was first born. But eventually he grew out of it, hopefully it’ll be the same with Georgie.” Said Deacy.

“Let’s hope so, I don’t think I can raise a mini-Jensen.” Jack groaned which made us laugh again.

As the night drew darker, Kelly who was now leaning against her godfather yawned and that’s when Roger said.

“Seems like someone had a long day today.” I stood up to take her upstairs but he stopped me and said, “It’s fine love, I’ll take her up. You take care of those boys of yours.”

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yeah it’ll be fine.” Roger then slowly picked Kelly up without trying to wake her up and took her up to her room.  

God she looked so cute leaning up against Roger like that, reminds me of me at that age when my real father would take me up to bed after I had fallen asleep doing something.

“It is getting rather late. I think we should all be in bed by now, we want to get as early of a start recording as we can.” Stated Freddie.

“Agreed.” Brian spoke up.  It was then decided that we all turned in for the night.  Jack and I put the twins in their nursery jointed right next door to the master bedroom and I said goodnight to the three queens and they bid us a goodnight back.  Jack and I unfolded the sheets and got into bed.

“How long do you think you’ll be staying in the studio for?”

“I’m hoping to plan just 9 hours, but I can’t make any promises. Plus with the guys here, they may need me. Hope that isn’t any trouble for you.”

“No, no it’s fine. It’s been awhile since you’ve got to work with the boys, they might need you back with them.”

“Yeah they are lost without me.” We kissed each other and then snuggled up for the night.

*3rd Person POV*

While everyone was getting situated into bed, Roger finally arrived at Kelly’s room and walked over to her bed.  He gently set her down and just before he could cover her up, she moaned and opened her eyes and said.

“Papa Roger?” Roger looked up at her and smiled and said.

“Hey you, I thought you’d gone to dreamland by now.”

“I couldn’t with you and uncle Deacy, uncle Brian and uncle Freddie here. I’m too excited to sleep now.”

“Oh really?” She nodded but then Roger took notice that she had the same sad look that she inherited from her mother. “What is it lovey?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can say it.” She responded solemnly as she looked down away from Roger.  Roger looked at his goddaughter as said.

“Kelly, you know that if something’s bothering you, you know you can always tell me anything, right?” She nodded hesitantly and that’s when Roger lifted her chin up and said as he sat down at her bedside and extended his arm out, “C’mere darling.” Kelly crawled up onto Roger’s lap and gripped onto his shirt and fiddled with it.

Roger adjusted her so that she was fully sitting on his lap and wrapped his arms around her back keeping her steady as he allowed her head to rest against his chest over his heart, much like he did with her mother.

“Talking about it will help you feel better, so come on little lioness, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Kelly fiddled with Roger’s shirt a bit more before finally saying as she looked up at Roger with this (e/c) eyes that she got from her mother.

“Is uncle Freddie okay?”

At this point Roger didn’t even know what to tell her.  He had hoped that Kelly wouldn’t notice the change in Freddie due to his AIDS but he knew he had been fooling himself.  

She was after all the daughter of (Y/n) Kline, the cleverest girl he had ever met.

“I—didn’t want to say anything to mummy at dinner because I was afraid she’d get sad. I didn’t want her to be sad.” Roger stroked Kelly’s hair and said to her.

“You definitely have your mother’s cleverness thank god for that.” He first teased which made both him and even Kelly laugh. “Listen darling; your uncle Freddie he’s—he’s just trying out a new look. He hopes that it will help him look younger to fit in with the new ongoing crowd of fans. That’s all.”

“Well I don’t like it. He looks sick, can’t mummy help him feel better? I want the old uncle Freddie back.” Roger brushed some strands of her long hair out of her face and said.

“Maybe, if your mum will allow it.”

“She always helps me whenever I feel sick.” She said softly.

“She is a good nurse isn’t she?” Roger asked remembering all the times that she’s helped him and the guys whenever they partied too hard and were completely shitfaced by morning when they were forced to record.  After teasing them, mainly him of course, she’d then have medicine, water and crackers to help settle their stomachs.

Kelly nodded but still looked sad.  If there was one thing Roger knew when it came to his best girls, whether it was the Kline girls or even his own daughter, it was to never let them go to bed sad.  With a mischievous gleam appearing in his eyes and a cunning grin coming across his face, Roger proceeded to try and get Kelly to laugh.  First he playfully pinched her nose as he said.

“I’ve got you nose.” Which made Kelly giggle as she tried to escape her godfather’s embrace.  As she now fell back onto her bed, it allowed Roger to grab her ankle and lift her foot in the air as he said, “Got your toes!”

“Papa Roger, stop! I’m too big for nose and toes!” She laughed.  This was a playful game that Roger not only played with his own daughter but with Kelly as well to get them to be happy again.

“Uh-oh, you’re missing a toe. Alright you little ankle bitter, where’s that missing toe?”

“I’m not missing a toe.” Kelly cried out.

“Oh yes you are, see. One, two, three, four.” He said counting her toes skipping over her middle toe.  “Now where you keeping that toe at young lady?”

“I don’t have it anywhere.”

“Ah-ah better tell the truth, or I’m gonna tickle it out of yah.” He then dived down and began tickling Kelly’s stomach.  The two of them laughing as Roger kept Kelly close to him as he tickled her, not allowing her to escape an inch away from him. Kelly tried as best as she could to roll away from him but Roger always brought her back close to him, she tried to push his hand away but it wouldn’t budge.

When she was nothing but pure smiles and no more trace of sadness was in her eyes, Roger ceased his tickle attack and scooted her up so that her head was now resting on her pillow.

“Okay lovey, time for bed.” He tucked her in and stroked the top of her head, brushing away the bangs that fell down over her eyes.  “Now don’t you worry about your uncle Freddie okay? He always bounces back up, and I know he will from this.” Roger lied.

He hated to lie to Kelly but he had no choice. She was too young to understand and he didn’t want this to affect her badly by telling her that her uncle was going to die soon.

He refused to allow Kelly to be told that right away, especially if it was from him and not from her own parents.

Plus he knew Freddie would never forgive him had his favorite niece been told he was so sick.

“Okay.” Kelly said softly.

“That’s my girl.” Roger kissed her forehead and whispered, “Goodnight my love.”

“G’night.” Kelly whispered before finally closing her eyes and went back to sleep.  Roger stayed by her bedside for a few moments stroking her head gingerly before finally decided to head to his own room and went to sleep himself.

As he lay down on his bed, a single tear fell down his face.

*My POV*

As the next year came around; the boys continued to stay at the house, balancing work and spending time with their niece and nephews.  I’ve really began to notice the signs of Freddie not doing so well.

Some nights he would lose his appetite and not want anything to eat.  There was also the signs of him struggling to get out of bed in the mornings and even walk up and down the stairs.  One day there was even an accident where he fell and broke his ankle.  Also both Sammy and Bucky would just bark at Freddie anytime he would pass them, they even went as much as to avoid him at all times which they had never done before since we had gotten them.

I was really starting to get scared for Freddie’s sake because Kelly was starting to ask questions.  She told me that she and Rog had a talk about it but he told her not to worry about it.  So I would go up to either Brian or Rog since anytime Freddie was brought up, Deacy wouldn’t even speak and the two of them would tell me not to worry and that Fred was just trying something out, or he went to the gym after their rehearsals.

I was currently sitting on one of my chairs by the back entrance going over a new song for my upcoming album.  Doing some rewrites and trying to make the song work better when I heard Freddie’s voice coming down the hallway.

I put my feet up and lowered myself further down the chair hiding myself from view as I heard Freddie say.

“Just tell the press to bugger off and not say a word that I am here with (Y/n) and Jack. I refuse to let the Klines get involve with this Jim darling. If they ask, just tell them I’m in Japan recording…..I know, I miss you too my husband. I’ll call you later tonight, bye-bye my love.” I then heard Fred sigh heavily and heard him enter the living room as he said to himself. “God this is fucking ridiculous. Now they’ve got to pull my beloved Rock Angel into this, she doesn’t deserve this torture either.”

Finally I had had enough, I poked out from behind the chair which caused Freddie to jump backward as I said to him.

“Care to confess your sins there, Mr. Mercury?”

“Bloody hell (Y/n) don’t scare me like that.” He said as he rubbed his chest.  I set my notebook down and stood before him saying.

“Well that’s rich coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You Fred. If anyone’s scaring anybody here is you that’s scaring me. Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to talk to me about?” He remained silent and just stared at me with wide eyes.  I raised my brow at him and proceeded to say as I circled around him, “Like; why Bucky and Sammy won’t come near you without barking up a storm? Or why your appetites changed? Not to mention this weight loss, the fact that you can barely walk some days without help, not to mention the phone conversation I just heard about me getting involved with something you don’t want me a part of. Fred I’m really worried about you.”

I now stood face to face with him by the end of my rant and that’s when Freddie told me.

“(Y/n) I—I’m just going through some personal things that’s all my dear.” I looked at him suspiciously and said.

“Okay,” I sighed heavily as I dragged my hands through my hair as I said, “God if I didn’t know any better I’d say it’s almost as if you—” I stopped as I looked at him.  I then shook my head and said, “No. No way. I’m going straight to the worst case scenario.” I turned around and walked away.

“What scenario would that be darling?” Freddie asked me.  I turned back around toward him and said to him trying to play it off.

“Nothing, nothing Fred forget I even said anything.” As I turned back around to walk away it was then Freddie dropped the bombshell.

“Because only a clever girl like you could decipher….when one has AIDS.”

I froze in my spot.

I slowly turned around and looked at Freddie. I have heard about the AIDS crisis that had been breaking out worldwide.  It was unlike anything I had ever heard of, and it was strongly affected the gay community.  Already Jack had lost some old friends from this disease but never did I—oh my god.

I slowly walked towards Fred finally putting two and two together as I choked out his name.  He looked at me with solemn eyes and said the four most gravest and heartbreaking words I will ever hear in my entire life.

“I’m afraid so darling.”

My eyes grew wide, my heart sunk and I almost collapsed to the ground in tears.  I held my hands to my mouth trying to hide my shocked expression but tears quickly filled my eyes.

“Oi Fred!” Roger’s voice called out.  He came up from the back entrance and stood beside Freddie and said to him, “Fred, Brian and Deacy managed to figure out the problem for the song, we want to run it by you.” It was then Roger turned to look at me.  I sniffled and couldn’t help as a tear fell down my face.  “(Y/n) what’s wrong?”

Even in his weak and frail state, Freddie still had that strength in his eyes that told me to not cry and be strong.  I snapped out of my state and choked out as I tried to do what Freddie was telling me to do.

“Wha? No, nothing’s wrong dad. I’m only just picturing Freddie the way he’d want me to right now. The day I first met him…..Me sitting at the piano and him trying to get me to sing another song…..” I couldn’t help a sob that came out as I choked out again as I held my arms out, “Can I please hug him?”

I walked up towards Fred and gave him a hug as I wept hysterically.  Crying into his shoulder while he rocked me back and forth rubbing my back trying to comfort me as I wept.

“Oh god no! Not you…..” I felt him kiss my temple and that’s when I felt his embrace and backed away as I choked out. “Okay I’m going to go calm down, then tonight. You and me. Garden. Because we need to have a serious talk about this okay? Okay?” I wiped my tears away before rushing out of the living room and upstairs to my bedroom.

*3rd Person POV*

Roger who was completely baffled by what he just saw turned to Freddie who turned to him solemnly and he confessed.

“I told her.” Roger sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

“How did she find out?”

“She’s clever that lion cub of yours. She put two and two together without even having to say it. Plus she was hiding when I was on the phone with Jim. Already the press back home are spilling rumors that our beloved Rock Angel is aware of my AIDS and is keeping me in hiding.”

“Those fucking wankers.” Roger sneered.  He then looked toward the direction where (y/n) had gone and tried to go after her but Freddie stopped him and said.

“Leave her be Rog. Give her time to calm down, and like she said I will talk with her. This has to be between me and her.” Roger nodded and the two men went back to work.

As agreed, the sun set and (y/n) was currently out in the gardens sitting on the pergola swing set with a vodka bottle in her hands. It was a full size bottle but the content inside was almost empty.

*My POV*

My mind maybe fuzzy from dousing vodka most of the afternoon, but I was still sober enough to go to the garden and get on the pergola waiting for Freddie to get here.  

I can’t believe this is happening. It’s—it’s like a bad dream or something.  Please God don’t let this be real.

“Knock, knock.” I looked up and there stood Freddie. I gestured for him to sit down and he did as I said.  I refused to look up at him because I knew I would break down, shitfaced or not. “Never did take you for drinking so early darling.” Freddie tried to lighten up the mood.

I spoke not a word.  Everything was dead silent except for the crickets chirping.

“How long has everyone known?” my tone was completely broken.  I heard him sigh and he confessed.

“I told Miami shortly after I was diagnoses in ’86. The boys didn’t find out three years after Miami found out.”  I shut my eyes as tears fell down my face not believing this.

“So this whole time you all knew about this? And you didn’t bother to let me in on it?!” I snapped as I finally turned towards him.  Tears stinging my eyes and threatening to come down.

“Darling I just wanted to keep this to myself. I wanted to protect the ones I loved most closest to me from being told this illness. Not even my family knows about this yet.” I looked at him, seeing the strength in his eyes behind his frail face.  “I thought by not telling you, I would be sparing you this heartache. But I should’ve guessed I couldn’t hide anything from you this long. You’re just too clever my darling.” He gently stroked my cheek with his index finger wiping away the tearstains from my face.

I turned away from him and just looked down at my feet as I muttered brokenly.

“I did this to you.”

“What?” I sniffled and said.

“I did this to you Fred.” He looked at me confused and said.

“My rock angel that’s ridiculous, how could you have done any of this?” Finally setting the vodka down, I wiped my tears away from both my eyes and sniffled as I confessed and looked directly at him.

“Do you remember a few months before my wedding? Shortly after you and the boys shot the ‘I want to break free’ video?” Freddie looked at me solemnly and said.

“You mean the day I said those horrible, nasty things about you? I wish I could forget that day but it happened.”

“I told you that I wished that you were struck down in the worst possible way……and now here you are with the worst thing anyone could ever have!” I sobbed out.  Covering my eyes with my hand, shutting them trying to keep any more tears from spilling out.  “I did this to you Fred…..I did this…..”

“That’s bullshit darling!” he exclaimed.  I felt him take my hand that was at my side as he said, “(Y/n), my rock angel look at me,” I was hesitant but I turned towards him, looking like a sad, pathetic drunken woman but Freddie didn’t care.

He stroked some of my hair out of my face tucking it behind my ear as he said.

“Now you listen to me darling; no one is to blame here. You are not to blame for this, the one person responsible for this is me. I was reckless, stupid, and gave too shits about what I was doing. I might’ve known the risks but I didn’t give a fuck about it. My moto was ‘I’m doing everything with everyone’ and not once considered what the result would be. But never, ever think that this was your fault, because it wasn’t. I don’t blame you; the boys don’t blame you; no one blames you.” I looked at Freddie with teary eyes and choked out in a faint voice that it almost appeared like a whisper.

“But why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“As I said I wanted to protect you darling. You were finally booming in your career just as we were. I didn’t want anything to drag you down. You didn’t deserve to be distracted by an old aging queen like me.” That managed to get a laugh out of me.  “See, there’s my darling rock angel.” He wiped the tears away and I fully turned towards him.

He cupped my face into his hands and he looked straight into my eyes as he said in a more serious tone.

“Now I’m going to tell you exactly what you told the lads and I when we first found out about your parents; I don’t want you to fuss about it or frown about it, but above all don’t bore me with any sympathy. Because that’s just seconds wasted, seconds that can be used making music, which is all what I want to do with the time I have left. And you need to do the same, can you promise me that darling?” I sniffled and croaked out.

“I’ll try.”

“No dear, you either will or you won’t. Now give me the right answer.” His voice stern which made me flinch a bit but I knew it wasn’t out of anger at me directly.

“I promise.” I vowed to him.  He nodded softly and said.

“That’s my Rock Angel, now no more tears darling, okay?” I nodded and that’s when he brought me into his embrace and I hugged him back as tightly as I could but kept it gentle so that I wouldn’t cause him any pain.

I remained in his arms for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Fred invited me along to the recording studio.  Since I had completed my album, he thought it would be best for me to come over and see him record this one song that he had been working on with the guys.

He wouldn’t tell me much about it, just to come along and even bring Kelly along so that she could see it too.  

Once we had arrived at the studio, I held Kelly’s hand in mine and that’s when she asked me.

“Do you think you and uncle Freddie could sing the pressure song after they’re done?”

“Maybe, but don’t count on anything okay Kelly? Your Uncle needs to rest his voice.” I entered the studio and was greeted by some of the technicians and office workers who pointed me in the direction of where the boys were.

When we reached the room, I saw Freddie put down a vodka bottle as he proclaimed to Brian who was sitting right beside him.

“I’ll fucking do it, darling!”

“Language Freddie, there is a child present in the room.” I exclaimed as I covered Kelly’s ears.  The boys all turned toward me and that’s when Freddie said.

“So sorry dear.” I just shook my head at him as I grinned and that’s when Kelly raced up towards Freddie.  He picked her up and set him on his lap and she asked him.

“You going to do a new song uncle Freddie?”

“Indeed I am my little nightingale, care to watch?” She nodded enthusiastically and that’s when Brian took a hold of Kelly and set her in is lap while Fred slowly got up from his chair and walked into the recording booth.  I took Freddie’s seat and Roger came over and stood over me while Deacy was in the back isolated but still kept his eyes on Fred.

“Okay this is ‘the Show must go on’ take 1.” Brian spoke into the mic. “You ready Fred?”

“Yes Brian dear, let’s do it.” I then heard the track beginning to start.  It was a powerful beat that already struck a chord in me and as it decrescendo, Freddie began to sing.

Play video

Even with as frail and ill that he looked, a man that was practically a walking corpse right before my eyes, his voice still held such power.  Sure not as much as he once had, but Fred didn’t allow his AIDS to stop him from working, he kept at it.

Once the first chorus hit and his voice hit that falsetto I couldn’t help but have my breath literally be taken out from my body as I just stared at him.  The lyrics were truly about Freddie and his struggles with this illness but he still knew and kept up with his famed phrase ‘The Show must go on’ no matter what.

And he sure as hell proved that on that day to me.

I could only stare at him in pure awe throughout the whole recording.  To nail the notes he needed on just the first take, only someone like Freddie Mercury could do that.  And I was damn proud to not only call him my idol, but my family.

At the very last note he hit with such raw power, I felt a shiver run up my spine as my eyes refused to leave him and I may or may not have been aware of it, but a few tears had fallen down my face.

By the end of the song, I heard Kelly say.

“Mummy you’re crying.” I turned to her and felt my cheek and could feel the wetness of the tears in my face.

“They’re happy tears my love.” I assured her as I wiped them away and saw Fred looking right at me.  I pressed the mic button and said.  “Killed it as always Fred.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can do it again.” Which caused me and the guys to choke out a laugh.

The following day at just before dawn, we were all at the airport and the guys were waiting for their private jet to take them back to London after doing a successful recording.

“You sure we can’t tempt you all to stay for a few more days?” asked Jack.

“No Jack darling we’ve taken up too much of your time. It’s time we were headed home.” Said Freddie. Jack nodded and that’s when Deacy spoke up.

“Thank you both for allowing us to stay in your lovely home.”

“Anytime Deacy, beats having to stay at a hotel or some rundown home the studio sometimes provides.” I said.

“Must you guys really leave?” Kelly asked as she leaned against her father’s shoulder looking toward her uncles and godfather sadly.

“Afraid so love, but don’t worry. You’ll be coming to see us soon.” Roger assured her as he lightly bopped her nose.

“How soon?” she asked.

“Faster than you think little one.” Brian answered her as he stroked down her hair before leaned down and giving her a kiss goodbye.  The rest of the guys soon followed and we all hugged and kissed each other goodbye as their jet soon landed.

The boys grabbed their luggage and they left to get on the plane.  They waved bye to us one final time and we waved back before they finally disappeared.

“I hope next time we see Freddie this fall he at least gets better. He looked so frail and ill; do you know what’s wrong with him (Y/n)?” I didn’t turn to face Jack but I immediately responded.

“I have no idea; they wouldn’t tell me anything.” I hated to lie but I made a promise to Fred.  He made me swear to him that Jack and Kelly didn’t need to know about his illness because he didn’t want anyone else besides me to know now.

So I vowed to him that I’d keep his secret, and I did. From mid-February till late November I kept Freddie’s secret.

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Burying Baby pt 1

Okay so I’ve got… Oof. I got a lot of updates. I hope y’all are ready for some spam.

Just… dear lord if I think about it too much I’m gonna cry again. 

Okay. Just start typing, Wei Ying. We’re gonna have to document everything because I don’t want to forget a moment.

So I think I last mentioned that we were going to bury Baby so I may as well start from where I left off huh? This will be another long update so I’ll split it up. Bear with me, kay?

Okay so let me gather my thoughts. Lan Zhan and I were waiting to go to Lan Xichen’s to bury Baby and I secretly painted that picture for him while he was dealing with whatever else needed to be done for the buns that day. Or something. I was kinda in the ZONE so I didn’t really pay attention to what he was doing beyond listening for him to come back in case I needed to hide the picture before it was done. 

I really debated on whether or not I wanted to give it to him. He was so torn up about this little baby bunny. I     was too, if I’m perfectly honest. This was.. This was new for me. Painting that picture was like facing my grief. Normally I just… look the other way. Pretend it didn’t happen. Laugh.

But with Lan Zhan there. I just… I couldn’t ignore this. Maybe that’s healthy? Facing your problems and properly grieving. I just… I don’t know what would happen if I faced everything….

 I’ve always kinda thought that if I faced anything I would have to face everything and I’d go insane. Because.. Well… There’s a lot to unpack there and I’m not ready for that. I know it’s there. I can feel it. 

I think I’ve been conditioned to forget things. Well I don’t know that it’s actually even forgetting really. It’s like there’s a like… block or wall or something that keeps me from some things. I can feel them there but it’s like some memories are behind a paywall or something. It’s just what I had to do. Keeps me sane. Keeps me going. Keeps me smiling.  I think I know it’s bad for me but by the time I had enough presence of mind to really do anything about it I think it was too late. 

I don’t really remember things well from before I was 10. That’s when the Jiangs took me in. For the next 8 years anyway. I think it was a political move or something. Look at this kind family taking in this poor orphan boy. So once I was old enough I was “encouraged to move out and seek my own fortunes’. By that I mean I was kicked on my ass by my foster mother while they told the world I moved out of my own will. 

But.. where was I.. Oh yeah. Just I figured out that maybe I don’t have to tear down the whole wall at once. Maybe I don’t have to drown?? Maybe I can just open a small door. If I can find a key. And I can take out a little piece at a time. That…. Maybe I can do that? I’m sorry I’m not making sense. Just after this weekend with Lan Zhan… 

Okay I’ll get to that when I get to that. Ugh. 

I should just scrap this whole thing and start over. Oh well. 

Fuck

Okay

OKAYYY

So we went to Lan Xichen’s with Baby. That’s what I’m talking about. 

Initially I think Lan Zhan was trying to get me not to come? Or maybe he was just saying I didn’t have to. Like giving me an out. But I couldn’t leave him alone. His eyes looked just so heart broken. And so I insisted. Maybe I was out of place? Probably. But in the end I think he was glad I came along. I think Lan Zhan must have been alone a lot. I don’t want him to be alone if I can help it. (Have I said that before? I think so. Too bad. I’m saying it again.

We were quiet on the ride over. I was too lost in my own brooding to speak really, but I put a hand on Lan Zhan’s to assure him I was there if he needed to talk or anything. 

I thought more about my parents. Well wondered about them anyway. I… I don’t even know what their names were. Though I suppose dad’s name must have been “Wei’ or else where did my name come from? Though… I suppose I might have been adopted into a family of “Wei”s. I don’t remember. I know I was bounced around a lot. And I know some of those homes weren’t… they shouldn’t have had their own children let alone the poor kids stuck in the system. I know that much at least.  Ah well.. In any case I’ve accepted that I’ll probably never know anything about my family. If I had one. I don’t know if they died or if they just didn’t want me. I don’t know how I got into the system. I just know I ended up with the Jiangs eventually and now I’m here. 

Maybe… if I’m good can I have a new family? One that will stay? That wants me?

That’s probably too much to wish for. I should just be happy with what I have now. 

UGH BRAIN! We’re here to tell a story! I know I said I’d open the doors but not NOW I’m busy!

Anyway. We ot to Lan Xichen’s place. It’s really big and the yard is huge! He was waiting for us on the porch and for a moment I forgot he was the actual devil. (Okay he’s not. He’s super nice but still). 

We got in and just… his house is so CLEAN. Is it a Lan thing? Or just them? Like I felt like a slob just being on the front porch. But Lan Xichen said I didn’t have to take off my shoes??? That he’d clean up any dirt???

Like what am I supposed to do with that??? Is it more rude to keep my shoes on or off?????????

So I just did my best to be as clean as possible. I don’t know. It’s so stupid to stress out about but.. Ugh.

Well Lan Zhan went ahead but Lan Xichen pulled me aside a bit to talk to me. 

He thanked me for being there with Lan Zhan. Like I would have wanted to be anywhere else? We didn’t talk long though because I was here for Lan Zhan. It seems Lan Zhan had gone off to get things to dig with. He must come here a lot? Because he just knew where all the things he needed were. Well that makes sense. They’re brothers after all. And Lan Xichen doesn’t live that far away.  I like to think that the two of them visit each other a lot. They seem close like that. 

Makes me miss Jiang Cheng and Shijie. 

[tcswritings]

family ties.

Malachy. The O’Connells have to face the worst moments of their lives.

(...)

So, the day was July 22nd 2016 and it was, I dunno, the later part of the evening. Mal was working late and it happened on his way home. His car got hit by a truck on the drivers’ side. The truck driver didn’t pay attention, he was tired after a long week and fell asleep momentarily. It’s not a real consolation but Mal didn’t suffer, in fact he didn’t even realise what was happening. He just saw the huge lights, so close to him, and then nothing.  

Chloe was at home, tidying up the house a bit and getting slightly mad at her hubby for not coming home at the time he promised. He wanted to bring their dinner after all. She checked her watch, only to check it again five minutes later and she had been doing that the entire evening. Sam was staying at a friend’s house and Rory wasn’t feeling well so he already went to sleep.

“Screw you, O’Connell. You could at least give me a damn call?!” she murmured to herself. “Instead you’re making me starve, I can’t believe it. You’re so not gonna get laid tonight.” She stopped and scratched her head. “Who am I even talking to? My god, I’m going insane.” Chloe scoffed at herself, and she grabbed her book and was just about to make herself comfy on her couch when her phone buzzed.

“There you go.” she sighed, reaching for her phone. It wasn’t Malachy, though. It was Sarah who didn’t even bother to wait for Chloe to say anything.

“This is it, Chloe. Ye can tell yer dear husband that I’ve had it with him.”

“Sarah.” Chloe answered reluctantly and she frowned. “What’s goin’ on?”

“He didn’t even call, he just didn’t show up. He promised to stop by at seven and now it’s almost ten. Not that he didn’t even bother to call us, he won’t pick up his phone either. Tell him to get lost, that’s not how ye treat your ma and pa?!”

“Sarah-”

“Look, it’s not that I don’t get that people at a certain age rather spend time with their significant other,” - she emphasised those last few words and Chloe smiled to herself at the mocking tone of it -, “than their parents but dammit, I gave birth to this little fucker! Twenty-one hours of labor and I’m not even worth a call?!”

Despite Sarah’s rage that she, being a mother herself, could very well understand, Chloe had to chuckle. “I’m sorry. He’s a despicable human being and I’m gonna tell him.”

“Tell him he’s an ungrateful little shit, too.”

“Of course. Will do once he gets home, I promise.”

“Wait, what? He isn’t even home yet?”

“Nah, I was just about-”

The doorbell rang. Still holding the cell phone to her ear, Chloe hurried to the entrance hall. Peeking through the door’s window, she saw two men clad in dark blue uniforms. “Sarah, I’m sorry, I’m gonna call you back, okay?” she mumbled into the phone, startled at the sight of the two Gardai on her front porch. Chloe put her phone in her pocket and then she opened the door.

To this day, she can’t really recall that particular evening. Looking back, it felt like she left her body in that moment and watched the events of the evening through someone else’s eyes and with a certain distance. There was a lot of “We’re sorry.” and “Do you need us to do anything else, Mrs O’Connell?” and she remembers this really insane moment when her only thought was that Malachy was supposed to get them dinner and that she was still starving.

She felt a bit like what she supposed a robot to feel like - she merely functioned and did what had to be done. She woke up Rory and called the parents of the friend Sam was staying at, giving them a quick update on what happened and that she’d appreciate it if they could help Sam to get ready so she can pick him up in about twenty minutes.

She also called Sarah back, asking her to tell Declan and Orla and she called Kieran on his cell phone before she made her way to the hospital to see her husband for what she feared would be the last time.

***************

Sarah just stood there, frozen on the spot, not quite believing what her daughter in law had just told her. She dropped her phone on the couch, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

This could not be true. It was impossible.

“Sarah. Darling, what is it?” Sean asked again, sounding alarmed and squeezing his wife’s upper arm a little, to make her snap back to reality.

“Malachy. There was-” Sarah took another breath. “There was - he had an accident.”

Sean felt his guts turn to ice. “An accident. Dear lord. But he’s… he’s alright, isn’t he?” He could feel his voice shaking.

“We have to get going, Sean, and we have to get a hold of Orla and Declan. I mean, where are these two, anyway?” Sarah hissed and hastily looked for her phone, remembering that she had just dropped it on the couch a minute ago. “Chloe was about to call Kieran just now and-”

“Sarah.” Sean insisted and grabbed his wife by her shoulders. “Sarah, darling, talk to me. Is Malachy alright?”

Sarah looked her husband in the eyes and that was when Sean knew. He just knew by seeing his wife’s expression. He nodded and swallowed.

“Where did they take him?” he merely asked.

“University hospital.”

Sean nodded again and he was about to go and get his things when Sarah held him back.

“Sean? Our boy is there. In some dark and cold room. All alone.” she said sternly, but her voice cracked. Sean could tell she was fighting hard to hold it all back.

He couldn’t help but admire her.

“Not for very much longer.” Sean assured his wife.  “We’ll be there in less than ten minutes. You call the twins, I’ll get everything ready and I’ll wait outside in the car for you.”

Sarah nodded, touching Sean’s cheek.

“Hurry.”

***************

Kieran sat at his desk in the bureau and he had been battling a few stacks of paper for a while. It has been an unusually quiet day at the bureau and he had spent all day here, catching up on a few things and doing some dreaded paperwork.

“Fuckin’ Friday night and I got nothin’ better to do than this. That’s it, I’m officially pathetic.” he murmured, highlighting another line in that report in front of him.

“I’m impressed by your work ethic. It’s not like you have to do this? Everyone else went home already. Not you though?” his new colleague, Evelyn, responded cheerfully.

Kieran looked up from his paper and gave her a dry laugh. “Yeah, rub it in. I like that.”

“Nah I didn’t mean it in a weird way?”

“This isn’t about work ethic, it’s really just about me having nothin’ else to do today.” Kieran replied wearily.

“Aw, come on, I can’t believe that a guy like you doesn’t have someone waitin’ for him somewhere.”

“You’re not makin’ this any better, Ev.” Highlighting another line at the bottom of his paper, Kieran now lazily turned the page. He frowned. “This is bullshit, I don’t even know what I’m reading here.” he mumbled and tossed the paper a few inches away from him.

“Wow, you’re crabby today. It sounds like there is someone after all, though?”

“No, that’s not what I said? There isn’t.” Kieran sighed. “I mean, not… not really.”

Evelyn put her pen away and leaned back in her chair. “Do tell. And don’t even try to change the subject… I’ve studied human behaviour long enough to be able to tell that somethin’s been weighing on your mind for a while and I’ve been in love long enough to link that particular circumstance to what you just said.” she concluded with a firm nod.

Kieran raised an eyebrow. “You… only talk so you can listen to yourself talkin’, right?”

“Sometimes, yeah. Not this time, though. Come on, tell me about it. Who is she? Or he?”

Kieran gave her another sigh but the prospect of just talking to someone unrelated about it actually was strangely tempting.

“It’s not like it matters anyway. She’s… in Boston, y’know. And I’m here. Doin’ fuckin’ paperwork on a Friday night.”

“Boston, huh? How would you end up with a girl in Boston anyway?”

“We didn’t end up - I just, I dunno, I go there a few times a year. Great city. Met her years ago already and, well-”

Kieran’s phone started buzzing. Startled by the sound of it, he looked at the caller’s ID.

“Chloe?” he muttered, confused.

“So her name’s Chloe?” Evelyn asked.

Kieran made a little gesture with his hand to shut Evelyn off and he picked up his phone. He didn’t really know where the feeling came from but having his sister in law call him at eleven in the night was highly unusual and he felt his stomach turn.

“Chloe? Yeah, of course it’s me… what is it?”

Evelyn watched Kieran’s expression turning to stone. “Uh-oh.” she thought.

“How… when?” Kieran let out a heavy breath. “I’m at work. I’ll be there - no I’ll be there, okay? I’ll be there in a few hours. Chloe, listen - I’ll be there. I’ll get into my car in five seconds and I’ll be there. There’s no way I’m stayin’ here, alright? Gimme a few hours. Okay. Okay! We’re wasting time… yeah, okay. Do what you gotta do, tell the others that I’m on my way, okay? Yeah. I will. Bye.”

“Oh my god, what was that?” Evelyn asked carefully.

“I gotta go. I can’t explain. I, I - I gotta go, Ev. I’m sorry.” Kieran stammered, grabbing together his belongings and without any further word, he left the office.

“Of course…” she nodded. “Go! Wherever you go, drive carefully?” she called after him.

“Oh, the irony.” Kieran thought to himself while he was rushing out of the building. He felt his heart racing while he ran to the bureau’s parking lot and when he eventually got to his car, he flung its door open, threw his jacket on the passengers’ seat and got into the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Fag. Now.” he thought and frantically searched the pockets of his jacket for the little package, as well as the glovebox. He couldn’t find anything.

“Oh fuckin’ HELL, it was there earlier?!” Kieran cursed to himself and he felt devastation, anger and helplessness rising up inside him. He slumped back into the driver’s seat in frustration and realised only now that he was shaking like a leaf. He gripped the steering wheel with both of his hands. “Focus, O’Connell. Calm down. You can’t go anywhere like this.” he thought to himself. Taking a few firm breaths, he calmed down enough to remember that he had put his cigarettes into the pocket of his jeans. He shifted a bit on the seat and pulled them out, opening the car’s door again.

Kieran lit the cigarette up and took a first pull, inhaling deeply. His breath was still shaky. Leaning back into the seat again, he closed his eyes and swallowed down a sob. He was in no way ready for this. He wasn’t ready to start the engine, to leave Dublin, to enter a world that Malachy O’Connell was no longer a part of. If he just stayed here, in his car, in the parking lot, he could just pretend for another little while that it wasn’t true. It was a childish thought, he knew it. Childish but very, very tempting.

A few minutes later Kieran had gathered himself together enough to take the dreaded way home. He left his best friend Rachel a text message, “Won’t be home for a few days. I’ll call you as soon as I can.” and left the parking lot, driving off into the unknown.

***************

“Alright, lads and ladies - last call for today!” Rosamund called. The pub was already empty, except for a few older guys sitting in the corner at the window and her young (and secret favourite) guests who had occupied the seats at the bar around her.

“Nah, way too soon!” Mick exclaimed indignantly. “Discussion ain’t over yet, no one goes anywhere until we settled this.”

“What did he say?” Rosamund hissed, turning to Orla and Jessie. “I swear, any time this kid opens his mouth I only hear gibberish!”

“Don’t look at me.” Jessie held up her hands in defense, “I don’t speak O’Loughlin. She does, though.” She pointed to Orla.

Orla nodded enthusiastically. “I do and I don’t quite believe I’m sayin’ this but he has a point.”

“I love how y’all talkin’ about me as if I wasn’t there.” Declan now chimed in. “I’ll have another half pint, Rose. Please.”

“How polite.” Rosamund chuckled. “Samantha likes ‘em polite.”

“Not you, too. Gosh! Stop talking about me already?”

“As if you don’t like being talked about?” Jessie scoffed.

“When I’m not there, sure?! You guys are discussing my love life-”

“Lack thereof.” Mick interrupted.

“- or the lack thereof while I am here, though.” Declan now turned to his best friend, crossing his arms. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, which side are you on after all?”

“On yours! Always was, always will be. I say - ask her out. I mean, where’s the harm in tryin’ after all? She likes ya.”

“I can’t ask a woman out who’s ten years older. Besides, I don’t even like her… y’know, that way but for some reason no one believes me anyway. Thanks.” he added when Rosamund handed him his half pint. “Also, she has a kid.”

“So do you.” Orla frowned.

“That’s different.”

“How’s that different?”

Rolling his eyes, Declan groaned, as if Orla was just dense for missing his point. “It just is.”

“Aw man, we all just want you to be happy, Dipso.” Jessie laughed and she reached out to pat Declan’s cheek but he was having none of it and briskly pushed her hand away.

“Now ya made him mad, Jess.” Mick said, just lighting himself another cigarette, when all of a sudden his phone in front of him started buzzing. “What the fuck. Not now.” he murmured and picked the phone up. Turning away from the group a bit, he looked at the caller’s ID, frowned a little and answered the call.

“I’m not mad, I’m not frustrated and I am not in love, alright?” Declan went on. “It’s about time you guys get that into your heads. Can’t we just make fun of someone else now? Look, Mick’s talking to someone on the phone. Let’s tease him. I hope it’s the concert lady from two weeks ago, that would have teasing potential.”

“Actually…it’s for you.” Mick had just turned around on his seat again, looking clearly confused. “Any of you two.” He looked at Declan, then at Orla, holding his phone out to them. “It’s Sarah and she sounds upset.”

Not quite understanding the situation, Declan made a face. “What? Sarah? Our mother Sarah?”

“Aye.” Mick gave a little nod, looking at the phone and up again, indicating that Declan should take it.

“What the-”

“Take it already.” Orla urged him.

“Okay, okay.” Declan took the phone and held it up to his ear. “Ma, what’s up? Don’t have my phone with me today, sorry. So, you wanna take part in the discussion about my poor love life? You’re gonna love it, it’s- what? Come again? … oh my god.” He looked up at Orla, waving her over to him.

“What’s going on?” Orla whispered impatiently but Declan only pulled her closer to his side, gripping her upper arm tightly. “Ow, Dec, what-”

“No, we’re on our way. Yeah. No, we’ll get a cab or somethin’, ya’ll stay where you are. Yeah, see you in a bit.” He hung up and gave Mick his phone back. He then turned to his sister, reaching up and holding her face in both of his hands. “We gotta go. Now.”

“Declan, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” Orla inquired, already feeling slightly nauseous.

“Mal had an accident… earlier this evening.” Declan’s voice broke and breathed out. “He - he didn’t make it.” It almost sounded like a question.

“What?” Orla muttered, her voice soft, and she looked at her brother, utterly confused, her blue eyes huge and Declan’s heart broke a little further at the sight of her expression.

“Cab me arse, I’ll drive.” Mick took a last pull of his cigarette and flicked it away. “C’mon!” he called, already making his way outside the pub.

“You want me to- I don’t know what to say, I-” Jessie stammered, looking like she got hit by a freight train and she was at a clear loss at what to do now. “I should probably pay our tab, though, I mean, we can’t just-”

“You kids leave. Screw the tab.” Rosamund interrupted her. “Just go! I’m closing NOW.” she called into the direction where the older guys were still sitting. “The three of you get out already! I mean it, forget the tab!”

“Let’s go. C’mon.” Declan nudged Orla, who just kept wiping her silent tears away, and took Jessie’s hand and they all followed Mick outside.

He drove them to the hospital, and no one said a single word. Declan and Orla had taken the backseat, holding on to each other and Jessie had taken the passengers’ seat, reaching out her hand (in a rather uncomfortable way but she didn’t care) to Declan and Orla behind her who both had taken it. She looked over to Mick who just seemed to concentrate on the traffic but she knew he was shaken. She would take care of him once they dropped the twins off at the hospital.

When they did, Orla turned around one last time, sniffing slightly. “Thank you. I’ll call you guys once I- once I can.”

“Go!” Jessie hushed her and her and Mick watched the two hurrying into the building.

********************************************

So, that’s how everyone got notified and the hospital got filled with O’Connells and they all were in this really weird state in which you can’t really wrap your head around what had just happened. They all knew it was huge but none of them could even begin to think of the impact the incident would have on their lives.

Everyone was tired and worn out and just there, trying to keep going, supporting each other, not really knowing where else to go and not really knowing what they were waiting for either since there was nothing that could be done for Malachy. None of them really wanted to leave him there all alone just yet, though, and if that meant that they had to stay in that hospital corridor until someone would finally tell them to go, they would do it. The nurses on the floor were really nice and understanding, though, providing them a free room with a few beds so at least Chloe, Sam and Rory could get a bit of rest.

Declan didn’t say a single word the entire night, he just responded by nodding or shaking his head but apart from that, his mind was somewhere else, far from everyone else. Orla couldn’t stop crying, the sleeves of her shirt were soaked and she made sure to get a hug every ten or so minutes. Kieran was busy functioning, just like Chloe. He was the one who talked to the nurses and who even joked with them, not really knowing how to channel his emotions. He even felt strangely alright and he didn’t know at this point that it would hit him a few days later, without mercy and with full force, at work in the restroom.

They all experienced for the first time what it feels like when there’s absolutely nothing left to say. It’s what all of them had in common that night, each of them dealing with it in their very own way.

At some point they all decided that it was time to leave, though. Sarah and Sean accompanied Chloe and the boys home and stayed with them and Kieran took the twins to his parents’ house.

“I don’t wanna sleep in my old room. I don’t wanna sleep at all. Not yet.”

It was the first thing Declan had said ever since he got the news. He kicked off his shoes in the hallway and went straight to the living room, starting to take the cushions off the furniture, throwing them right in front of the fireplace.

“What are you doing?” Orla asked, confused, once again sniffing a little. She felt a bit better but the tears just kept coming back and she no longer cared about hiding them.

Kieran had picked up Declan’s thoughts, though, and he smiled. “Come on.” He gently took Orla’s arm and took her with him. He went over to the large cupboard and pulled a few drawers open. He took out a blanket and tossed it at her. “Catch!”

“Have you two lost your mind?” she asked, barely catching the blanket she now saw flying into her direction. “HEY!”

“Maybe we have lost our minds.” Declan began and gave his sister a surprise hug from behind. “This is a bit of a tough situation though and I know you know what those call for.”

“A contemplation castle!” Orla gasped, finally getting what her brothers were up to.

“That was the idea.”

They had done that as kids in the past every so often. Whenever something happened that needed a bit of thinking or whenever they had to come up with a plan for whatever the issue was or whenever they were just sad or moody, Orla and Declan had built themselves a pillow fort. Teenage Kieran had often lovingly mocked their forts, “Don’t bother looking for Orla and Declan, they’re stuck in contemplation castle.”, but he had found himself sitting with the two sometimes, bringing them sweets and, as their older, more experienced brother, trying to give some insight on the situation they were facing. His troubled seventeen year old self even sat in one of their forts all alone for a little while, after the twins had already left it. He didn’t really believe it but he hoped that the fort would have a reassuring effect on him as well and to this day he feels that it somehow did.

So the three grown up O’Connell siblings built themselves what would probably be their last fort and they crawled into it, laying down next to each other, Orla in the middle. She took her brothers’ hands and they would just lay there and talk nonsense and share silly anecdotes, even laughing heartily at things every so often.

“You know what? We’re all gonna have terrible back aches when we wake up tomorrow.” Orla said eventually. “Ugh, I already feel it.”

“I know. I don’t mind.” Kieran replied.

“Me neither.” Declan agreed.

None of them dared to speak on what they all had in their minds in this very moment, though: that this was probably their last cheerful moment together for a long while and that their backaches would be nothing compared to their heartaches.

When Sarah and Sean came home the next morning and found their three grown up kids peacefully sleeping next to each other on the living room’s floor, Sarah burst out crying. She was incredibly touched to see what the three had done and she was proud to be their mom and at the same time it had just hit her that it would never ever be like this again. Their lives had just been shaken to the core and they all would get pulled back into reality really soon. Sean held his sobbing wife close to him but she recovered pretty quickly.

“I don’t know how, darling, but we’ll make this.” Sean whispered into her ear, standing behind her and gently rubbing her upper arms.

“Sean O’Connell, the cheerful optimist.” Sarah smiled wearily, not knowing at this point whether she really believed him.

“Cheerful? Not so much, I’m afraid.”

They stood there for a moment, silently, letting their words sink in.

“I want everyone here today, Sean.” Sarah now suggested, reaching for the coffee can.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m gonna make coffee and then we wake up the kids. We can all rest a bit but I want everyone to come over to our house today. Chloe and the boys - oh, we should probably call Father Moore - “

“Sarah, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Sean interrupted her and shook his head. “This hardly calls for a party after all-”

“Oh don’t gimme that crap now, O’Connell.” Sarah snapped. “Ya think I don’t know what just happened? This ain’t gonna be a party? Ya think I’m gonna shout it from the rooftops? Ya think I’m gonna invite old widow Clarke and her fucking little shit of a barking mutt?”

“You… better not?”

“I want Chloe and the boys here. Father Moore, if he can make it. Jessica and Michael. Lauren and Ash. They all deserve to be here, Sean. I don’t wanna pretend to have a jolly good time, I want the whole family around. I am not ready to deal with this on my own yet.” Sarah could feel her voice shaking again.

“You won’t have to?”

“Ye know what I mean.” Sarah pouted and crossed her arms.

If the situation hadn’t been so tense, Sean would have laughed at his wife’s reaction. It wasn’t funny at all, though, and he chose his next words carefully. “I’m not saying we can’t do this, I just don’t want to watch you denying-”

“One last day. That’s all I ask for.”

“One last day?”

“I mean, Kieran has to go back to Dublin anyway, he can’t just stay here for weeks, to support his ma and pa. I want one last day before the lights go off, Sean.”

Knowing too well what his wife was referring to, Sean nodded eventually. “Go and make coffee. I’ll wake the mob.”

***

[aion-rsa]

Game of Thrones: 24 Book Characters Not in the Show

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Game of Thrones Season 8 is nearly here, but with it, the number of characters from George R.R. Martin's novels who've been skipped grows.

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Feature

Books

Marc Buxton

Game of Thrones

Apr 3, 2019

HBO

George R.R. Martin

A Song of Ice and Fire

Game of Thrones Season 8

So, you thought HBO’s Game of Thrones had a ton of characters, huh? For seven seasons now, fans of HBO’s epic have gotten out their scorecards to keep track of all the Starks, Lannisters, Tullys, Wildlings, Greyjoys, Boltons, Freys, and the rest of the residents of Westeros.

But believe it or not Game of Thrones fans (and any “A Song of Ice and Fire” reader will attest to this), there have been a metric ton of George R.R. Martin characters that have not yet popped up on the series, despite appearing in the novels’ corresponding events. That’s right; there is a legion of fighters, rogues, small folk, lords, and ladies that never got that chance to realize that the HBO night is dark and full of highly rated terror.

Whether showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss wanted to tighten the narrative or to simplify things (HA!) for the hourlong installments of Game of Thrones is not for us to say. But we can attest that in some cases, TV fans have missed out on some pretty fascinating players of the Seven Kingdoms and beyond. So join us as we delve into the literary world of “A Song of Ice and Fire,” and present to you some conspicuously absent Game of Thrones characters. But be warned, this article is dark and filled with spoilers, so if you want to stay blissfully ignorant, sound the retreat now, my dear Summer child.

Strong Belwas

One of the most notable exclusions on TV’s Game of Thrones is the gigantic gladiator Strong Belwas. He was sent by Illyrio Mopatis (the dude that originally arranged the marriage of Daenerys to Khal Drogo) to be Daenerys’ new bodyguard. With Belwas came an old squire named Arstan Whitebeard, who turned out to be Barristan Selmy in disguise (hence his literary introduction to Dany).

So, the show kept the Selmy angle but jettisoned Belwas, which is a damn shame because the gigantic pit fighter provides some awesome comic relief to the otherwise usually terse Daenerys in Meereen scenes. When Daenerys arrives in Meereen in season 4 of Game of Thrones, the city sends out its champion to face Khaleesi’s chosen warrior. In the show, Daenerys chooses Daario Naharis to be her champion, but in the book, she does not want to risk the handsome rogue. Nor does she want to choose her trusted advisors Selmy or Jorah Mormont, so she selects Belwas, figuring that if Meereen’s champion defeats a former slave like Belwas, there will be no glory in it.

read more: Game of Thrones Season 8 - Everything We Know

Daenerys needn’t have worried; Belwas drew the champion out by taking a gigantic dump in front of the city of Meereen (I’m not kidding) and then easily dispatches his opponent. Other than killing, all Belwas really does is eat. He is fiercely loyal to his Khaleesi and can often be seen by her side wearing his signature tiny vest and genie pants. Many fans were disappointed by Belwas’ exclusion, because I think many fans secretly wanted to see a giant gladiator in genie pants poop in front of a majestic city.

Fan image by sprrow.

Victarion Greyjoy

One of the major subplots of the books not to make it in the television series is the full saga of the Greyjoy family while they vie for control of the Iron Islands following Balon Greyjoy’s death. Euron eventually showed up, but in a truncated introduction that awkwardly combined him and Victarion.

Victarion is, in the books, the bravest of the Greyjoy siblings who are trying to win the kingship of the Iron Islands. He is a skilled sailor and a natural born leader. One of the highlights of A Feast for Crows is the Kingsmoot held to name a new king of the Iron Islands. In truth, Victarion would probably be the most suitable king, but his conniving brother Euron Greyjoy wins the day, much as he does against Yara in the series. Victarion hates Euron but supports his claim out of loyalty to his family.

read more: Game of Thrones Season 8 Predictions and Theories

This is where things get interesting: Euron demands that Victarion sail across the Narrow Sea and offer a proposal of marriage to none other than the Mother of Dragons herself--an aspect that was only teased and then discarded in the series.  At this point in the books though, Victarion has grown disgusted with Euron’s cruelty and plans to woo Daenerys himself. This kicks of an adventure in A Dance with Dragons where Victarion meets a Red Priest of R’hllor who informs the Greyjoy that there is a way to bind Daenerys’ dragons to his will. So in the books, this non-TV character actually becomes a threat or perhaps a potential ally to the Silver Queen.

Image by Matt Olson.

Big Walder and Little Walder Frey

Big Walder Frey and Little Walder Frey were two of the Frey family that dwelled in Winterfell. When Catelyn and Robb Stark treated with the Freys to allow Robb’s army to ford the Crossing at the Twins, the senior Frey included the fostering of Little Walder at Winterfell. He was accompanied by Big Walder, and the two became friends with Rickon Stark.

Bran, Jojen Reed, and Meera Reed did not take kindly to these two Freys as both were brutish bullies. Little Walder is the larger of the pair, but both were skilled fighters who enjoyed pushing others around. The two can be seen as a bit of foreshadowing of the cruel nature of the Freys, something Robb and Catelyn would soon discover at the Red Wedding. The two Walders are also a good example of why “A Song of Ice and Fire” is insanely confusing: there are three characters with the exact same name featured in prominent roles. Maybe, that’s why Martin takes so long writing these books? He confuses himself.

Later on in the novels, Little Walder becomes a squire to Ramsay Bolton, which cannot be fun at all. Fans of the show must be content with just one Walder Frey.

Left and Right

Erryk and Arryk, or “Left and Right,” are the loyal bodyguards of Lady Olenna Tyrell, the Queen of Thorns. They are heavily armed brutes that are fiercely loyal to their Lady. On the other hand, the Queen of Thorns can’t be bothered to remember her guards’ names so she just refers to them as Left and Right. These two warriors are a reminder just how dangerous Lady Olenna could be despite her advanced age. If you mess with this rose, Lady Olenna has two giant pricks to make sure you bleed. On TV, the Queen of Thorns does her own pricking.

Jeyne Westerling

Jeyne Westerling has never appeared on TV, nor will she because her part in the drama, that of Robb Stark’s wife, was usurped by Talisa Maegyr.

Unlike poor Talisa, Jeyne does not attend the Red Wedding and is still alive deep into the books. While Benioff and Weiss gave Talisa a fascinating backstory, and a memorable character arc, Jeyne was kind of just a plot point—a reason that Robb does not marry one of Walder Frey’s daughters.

Robb meets Jeyne after he suffers a minor wound during a battle and takes refuge in her family’s small castle. The Westerlings are Lannister bannermen, so Robb basically takes them hostage, but Jeyne is kind to the King in the North and takes deep pity on him when he finds out that Theon Greyjoy “killed” his brothers Bran and Rickon at Winterfell.

Jeyne is a devoted and simple woman who loves Robb unconditionally but is overwhelmed by the conflict around her. When Robb died, Jeyne went into a deep mourning and is ordered by the Lannisters not to marry for two years, lest people thing she produced an heir with the fallen boy king. It’s hard to imagine the Red Wedding being worse than it was in the books, but slaughtering a pregnant Talisa (poor Ned Junior) to kick off the carnage was a much more brutal fate than that suffered by Robb Stark’s literary wife.

Image by Kurotsuta Murasaki.

Edric Storm

There were certainly many of Robert Baratheon’s bastards to go around in the “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels. Edric Storm was one such by-blow who lived first at Storm’s End and later on Dragonstone, the land ruled by Stannis Baratheon.

On television, the story of Edric was folded into that of Gendry since Arya’s blacksmith buddy became the all-purpose Baratheon bastard. In the books, Edric went through roughly the same ordeal that Gendry did on the series: he was tortured by the Red Witch Melisandre, who leeched him and used his blood to curse Kings Robb Stark, Joffrey Baratheon, and Balon Greyjoy; Like television’s Gendry, Edric was saved from being burned by the Red Witch thanks to Ser Davos Seaworth, the Onion Knight.

But to simplify things, Benioff and Weiss made Gendry and Edric one, but in the world of the books, Edric stands as a testament to the mighty libido of King Robert Baratheon.

Image by Xtreme1992.

Vargo Hoat

On HBO, Vargo Hoat was ostensibly replaced by the evil Locke, the vicious mercenary who dared to cut off the hand of the Kingslayer. As fans know, Locke then forced Brienne of Tarth to fight a giant bear in a pit. Locke was every inch the thug and bully that Hoat was in the book, but Hoat suffers a much darker fate than his TV counterpart. Yeah, Locke’s television demise was violent (a Bran-possessed Hodor nearly popped his evil head off), but it pales in comparison to the bodily atrocity that was inflicted on Hoat.

read more: Ranking All the Game of Thrones Villains

In the book, Hoat tries to rape Brienne before feeding her to the bear, but the tough as nails Brienne bit his ear off. Hoat’s wound festers and he becomes delirious but is still determined to hold the Keep of Herrenhal. When the Mountain Gregor Clegane arrives to take the keep back for Tywin Lannister, Clegane finds the delirious and defiant Hoat. The Mountain orders his men to slowly slice pieces of Hoat’s body away and bandage the wounds so the mercenary lives through the horrific ordeal. The Mountain then feeds the pieces to Hoat and the other prisoners, and makes sure that his captive lives to suffer for many days.

Being crushed by Hodor is no day at the beach, but the Mountain made sure that Hoat’s book death was one of the most brutal and disturbing in ASOIAF’s history.

Image by Joel Chaim Holtzman.

Dale, Allard, and Maric Seaworth

In Game of Thrones, Matthos Seaworth, the beloved son of Ser Davos, the Onion Knight, dies in the battle of the Black Water in a furious storm of wildfire. In the books, namely in A Clash of Kings, Davos is the sire of four sons who died in Tyrion Lannister’s wildfire trap. The literary deaths of his four boys were almost too much for Davos to bear, but the ever-loyal Onion Knight continues to fight in his sons’ memory despite his tremendous loss.

Patchface

Patchface is one of the most chilling characters introduced in A Clash of Kings. Patchface (or Patches) was once a famed jester, known far and wide in the Seven Kingdoms. The famous fool was on his way to Dragonstone to entertain the young Baratheon children when his ship broke up, killing all aboard. Except for Patchface that is, who washed ashore days later hopelessly insane and babbling about undead creatures and ancient evils that live in the waters. So the humorless Stannis grew up with a mad fool who babbled about the things down below.

This adds to the cold and emotionless nature of Stannis Baratheon, who never learned to laugh because his childhood fool went mad. Patchface has his face tattooed in motley and can barely function, but he is a constant companion to Stannis’ daughter, the deformed Princess Shireen who still can find humor in the ravings of a madman. But not on Game of Thrones, where the things down below go unmentioned because there is no mad Patchface to sing their tale.

Image by jesterry.

Jinglebell (Aegon Frey)

Speaking of jesters, in the books, Jingebell was the grandson of Walder Fey. He was a mentally disabled young man who entertained his guests in his fool’s motley at the Red Wedding. When the carnage began, Catelyn Stark grabbed Jinglebell and put her knife to his throat, begging the elder Frey to spare Robb’s life. Walder says that he would gladly trade a half-wit grandson for the life of Robb Stark. As Robb is slaughtered, Catelyn cuts the cognitively impaired jester’s throat.

It was a moment of pure, emotionless rage for Catelyn Stark and was a clue of things to come for the Lady of Riverrun. But in the television series, Catelyn threatened one of Frey’s young wives and cut her throat when Robb is killed. I guess Game of Thrones has something against jesters as both Jinglebell and Patchface, memorable fools both, were left out of the show.

Image by Morgan King.

Lady Stoneheart

One of the most unforgettable moments in A Storm of Swords and the whole “A Song of Fire and Ice series” is the epilogue reveal of Lady Stoneheart. In the final chapter of A Storm of Swords, a cravenly member of the Frey family gets abducted by the Brotherhood Without Banners, the group of freedom fighters led by Beric Dondarion. Beric is conspicuous by his absence, but the rest of the Brotherhood is present and led by a cloaked figure. The cloaked figure passes sentence on the Frey and pulls its hood back revealing the ruined, dead face of Lady Catelyn Stark! Calling herself Lady Stoneheart, Catelyn now has to hold her ravaged throat together to speak and is completely devoid of humanity or emotion.

read more: Game of Thrones - 9 Book Changes That Were an Improvement

She has become the most vengeful and bloodthirsty character in the Game of Thrones saga, and is a threat to anyone whom Catelyn Stark once deemed an enemy. Benioff and Weiss have chosem not to spring Lady Stoneheart on us, which has divided fans ever since.

Image by Zippo514.

Reek (First of His Name)

Fans saw the transformation of Theon Greyjoy to Reek in Game of Thrones season 3, but TV fans might not be aware that Theon was not the first Reek to be featured in the novels.

In A Clash of Kings, it was revealed that Ramsay Snow, the bastard of Bolton once terrorized the North, raping and pillaging with his murderous companion, an odorous monster named Reek. The residents of the North thought that Reek was arrested and imprisoned in Winterfell, but the Bastard of Bolton still roamed the countryside. When Theon Greyjoy takes Winterfell and is in danger of being slaughtered by Stark bannermen, Theon frees Reek who promises to bring Ramsay Snow and his men to aid Greyjoy. When Reek returns, it is revealed that he was actually Ramsay Snow the whole time.

The newly revealed Ramsay betrays and imprisons Theon, and Greyjoy’s torturous road begins. The original Reek disguised himself as Ramsay and sacrificed himself so the bastard could live. All that is known about the original Reek was that he smells like excrement and is a vicious killer. Whether he was tortured and transformed into Reek like Theon, or whether Theon’s transformation into Reek is a tribute to Ramsay’s first Reek, has not been revealed. But what is known is that the legend of Reek began the story of the Bastard of Bolton. The TV series simplified Ramsay’s story and made Theon the first Reek and Game of Thrones’ version of Gollum.

Arianne Martell

Arianne Martell, the sister of Oberyn Martell, is the central Dornish character after Oberyn’s shocking death at the hands of the Mountain. Arianne is stunningly beautiful and a young woman who has great ambition. She was originally going to be married to Viserys Targaryen, Daenerys’ weasel brother, but Khal Drogo’s golden crown put an end to all that.

read more: Game of Thrones Season 8 - Who Lives and Who Dies

Arianne is horrified by Oberyn’s violent death and plots revenge using Cersei’s daughter Princess Myrcella in a complex power play that results in many startling Dornish secrets being revealed. After Oberyn’s death, George R.R. Martin’s Dornish subplot centers on Arianne, so it was a bit of a surprise that Game of Thrones shifted much of her storyline in a broad sense to Oberyn’s consort Ellaria Sand. But the looseness of a bastard replacing the role of a highborn is one of many indications that the writing around Dorne left something to be desired in Game of Thrones Season 5.

Image by Arys Oakheart.

Aurane Waters

Aurane Waters fought for Stannis Baratheon, but is pardoned after he bent the knee to King Joffrey after the Battle of the Blackwater. Soon, Aurane becomes a favorite of one Cersei Lannister, who makes him admiral of the King’s fleet. He soon joins the Small Counsel of King Tommen and becomes a major player in King’s Landing. Waters takes part in many of Cersei’s machinations but has yet to join the king’s court on television. It appears some of his functions were transferred over to Euron Greyjoy in season 7 of the TV series.

Onsey, Osmund, and Osfryd Kettleblack

Aurane Waters is not the only consort of Cersei Lannister to not make the television series.

Osney, Osmund, and Osfryd Kettleblack are three ambitious brothers and sellswords (turned supposed knights) who are used in Cersei's machinations to disgrace her courtier enemies. They are the main chess pieces in a game between two ambitious queens and are a major part of the courtly intrigue in King's Landing. When things go pear-shaped for Cersei, the Kettleblacks were a major part of her fall from grace. The show opted to go for a less 1:1 comparison between Cersei's scheme against Margaery Tyrell and England's Anne Boleyn, which was much more visible in the books as we detailed here. Instead of creating false witnesses of alleged lovers of the young queen, Cersei merely roped Margaery into Loras Tyrell's trial as a gay man (which is also different from how he is villified by Cersei in the books, as well as how he is disposed of by the ruthless Queen Mother).

Image by Pojypojy.

Jeyne Poole

Jeyne Poole was Sansa Stark’s best friend when she lived in Winterfell. Think of Jeyne and Sansa as the Westerosi version of Heathers. With Sansa, Jeyne took great pleasure in mocking Arya Stark and was a major part of Sansa’s more innocent (if less endearing) days. Jeyne Poole returns as part of Ramsay Bolton’s grand plan for Winterfell and is forced to endure Ramsay’s heinous predilections when she marries Ramsay under the false identity of Arya Stark. Jeyne Poole’s fate is not a happy one, much like how Ramsay treats Sansa in Game of Thrones, albeit with more graphic cruelty in the novel. Last we saw Jeyen, she and Theon are making a desperate escape from Winterfell, much like Sansa and Theon did at the end of season 5.

Image by JeynePooleEsp.

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GoT Afterthoughts 7x03 The Queen's Justice (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

I’m sorry for the delay, but ffs this is LONG! Well ...now we know that this week's episode title was def. referring to Cersei, let's get to it. 

We begin this week with foreboding music -Jon and Davos riding the crashing waves onto the shores of Dragonstone -which I still highly prefer the exterior to the interior -though, I suppose it fits the "mood". Little bit of banter between the boys, and after a friendly introduction and a smiling face, Missandei asks for their weapons. A skeptical and non-to-pleased looking Jon obeys, then turns to watch warily while the Dothraki take their rowboat as well. Okay Gendry, you can row up at any time now ...we may need you as the getaway boat. 

So they proceed up the long winding staircase (which has more steps than Dany does titles) and not even a full 3 minutes into the episode, Sansa is already brought up in conversation. I'm dead serious - 02:30 minute mark on the dot. I actually only know this, because at this particular moment, I paused the DVR to grab a snack -but I like how in what is supposed to be such a J/D-centric episode (er-meh-gerd they're finally meeting!!!), Sansa takes precedence. Good call D&D ...I see what you did there. 

Now about that conversation -is it odd that Tyrion would bring up Sansa in passing conversation with Jon? No, not at all -she is a connection that they both share, but ....

T: Sansa, I hear she's alive and well? 

J: She is. 

T: Does she miss me terribly? (clearly he's attempting a bit of a joke here). 

J: *silence as he stares down at Tyrion like he damn well better explain himself*

T: *looks over his shoulder, to see that Jon is not amused, quickly explains* A sham marriage, never consummated. 

J: I didn't ask. 

T: Well it was, it wasn't. Anyway, she's much smarter than she lets on.

J: She's starting to let on. 

T: Good. 

So, what exactly was the point of this conversation? If Tyrion just wanted to know if Sansa was well, and the narrative wanted to establish how clever Sansa is, they could have done that without all that "missing me and marriage sham and unconsummated" banter in between. We as an audience already know all of these things, so how does that little nugget of information help in furthering the narrative? To put it quite simply -it doesn't. Again ..I see you D&D, I see exactly what you did there. 

A bit more banter between the boys -Tyrion's ironic statement about Starks not faring well in the South, as to which Jon replies that he's not a Stark (shut up baby, yes you fucking are!) and BOOM! Cue: Drogon swooping down over the crowd, and Jon and Davos hitting the deck like a bunch of dropped wet rocks. You will NEVER convince me that was coincidence. Dany is in full control of her Dragons now, and that was a total (cheap) intimidation tactic. 

PS: Jon is wearing leggings! Show me tha booty! 

Cut to Varys and Melisandre perched high above on a cliff and watching the welcoming committee march up the guests. Varys prods her on why she won't greet them considering she spoke so highly of Jon Snow. She replies with how she's "brought fire and ice together and she's done her part" -I believe this is a deliberate misdirection from the writers. We already know that Jon is fire and ice on his own -the characters do not, and you know the dark ship is going wild over this line right now, but don't any of you pay it any mind. It's like a magicians trick -slight of hand ..look over there, while we do this over here. 

Varys still has a healthy skepticism of this religion and these priestesses -and I'm still 1100000% with him. Melisandre is going back to Volantis (spelled right??) it seems -but will return to die -just like Varys. Ohhhh prophetic. And damn but these red witches get under his skin! Why???? I must know!

Poor Jonny-boy walking into the throne room looks nervous AS HELL, with the Mad Kings daughter perched on that wiggy-ass throne, and half of Dany's face is bathed in shadows, and she's once again cloaked in all black -shadows, darkness = symbolism at its finest folks. Hiding ones face half in shadow is a popular trope to emphasize that someone has a "sinister side" , and wearing all black is also a trope - "evil wears black." 

Now, for arguments sake (and because I like to play devils advocate -the Nights Watch also wear all black, and Jon did too -however, Dany's wardrobe went from bright white (innocence and purity) to black upon coming to Westeros.  

So as Missandei rambles off all 101 of Dany's titles (like I swear they do this purposely to annoy us at this point), Davos shoots back with "This is Jon Snow and he's King of the North". (See this juxtaposition they just shoved RIGHT IN OUR FACES???). LMAO -by the way, I just fucking adore Davos! He is a damn precious dewdrop, and I will fight you if you say otherwise! 

D: You are here to bend the knee?

J: I am not. 

Who else screeched with glee here? Huh? Huh? 

Bend the knee. Bend the knee. BEND THE KNEE. 

I'm not going to rehash this entire exchange, but a few important things that stuck out to me: 

Jon's primary focus is "us", "we" -he's concerned about saving people.   

Dany's primary focus is "Me, me, me!!"  

 It is interesting how she asked that the father's sins not be passed onto the daughter -reminiscent of Jon's own words regarding the Karstark and Umber children. I wonder if this is a sort of foreshadowing that by not being more wary of Dany's Targ temper, it just may bite him in the ass later.   

 Also Dany is a hypocrite. "Don't blame me for my ancestors -blah blah blah, but bend the knee because of my ancestors." Sigh.   

I'm insanely curious why Jon didn't want Davos to tell them he'd been resurrected -or why Melisandre left that little tidbit out too??? 

 Jon is now essentially Dany's prisoner.  

Dany's narcissism is growing by the day. I can't believe people don't understand what GRRM (D&D) are deliberately doing with her character! This is an actual quote: "Do you know what kept me standing all those years in exile? Faith. Not in any god, not in myths, and legends. In myself. Daenerys Targaryen. The world hadn’t seen a dragon in centuries, until my children were born. The Dothraki hadn’t crossed the sea, any sea. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms. And I will."  

Varys delivers the news that Dany's  fleet is gone, and then Theon is fished from the sea by his people. And let me slip in here that if you're one of the people bashing Theon for jumping overboard because he so clearly suffers from PTSD -you're a shit, and you need to stop. That's not something that just suddenly disappears ...he will struggle with that for whatever is left of his life. He's gonna rescue Yara ...I just know it. 

Now we're in Kings Landing and Euron is parading Yara and the Sand Snakes through the city. Like, I'm so torn, because I hate this dude, but I also kinda love him? His teasing of Jamie is PRICELESS, if not highly inappropriate. It's also pretty clear to me that Cersei has no intent on marrying him. In typical Cersei fashion, she'll keep him at arms length while she uses him, and then dispose of him when he wears out his usefulness -clever girl that she is. 

And now we're in the dungeon where the Sand Snakes are chained -after a bit of tormenting them, she takes Tyene the same way they took her daughter -with a kiss of death. As a mother, I truly feel for Cersei here as she talks about Mrycella -for both of these mothers actually. Say what you will about Cersei, but Lena is a fucking GODDESS! She owns this role so well. Like, I can't stand Cersei, and yet, I literally cheer for her sometimes. One thing is for certain -people better stop underestimating her ruthlessness. And my God, the Sand Snakes -magnificent acting with no dialogue!

After a romantic romp with her dear brother (and damn, Jamie has a sweet ass), she boldly allows the servant to see them together -she's queen now, and apparently has no more fucks to give. It's time for the Lannister's to pay their debts, and she's off to meet with a rep. of the Iron Bank. Using the sharp negotiation skills she inherited from Tywin, and the same "foreign invader/mad Kings daughter" approach that she used to sway the Lords, it appears she gets what she wants and the Iron Bank will extend her the credit she needs - "gold wins wars." 

We jump back to Dragonstone, where our brooding prisoner/hero is staring forlornly at the sea. He's a Northern fool who didn't listen (to Sansa). Tyrion tries to appeal to Jon's good side, and talks up Dany a bit, while simultaneously trying to help him. He's looking to strike an alliance -"use each other to further your own needs approach", and after a somewhat comical conversation with Dany (thank God because we need a bit of levity surrounding her scenes) -he urges her to let Jon mine the dragon glass. I think Tyrion does truly believe Jon is telling the truth. The knife in the heart comment comes up again -and again, I wonder why Jon didn't want them to know about his resurrection -but clearly, it's important because it was brought up again. 

Now Jon approaches Dany who's gazing off towards the sea and watching her Dragons soaring in the distance. Sounds kinda romantic, right? Well not really, as during most of this conversation they stood facing opposite directions, barely making eye contact -save for a few moments. Shipping goggles are fully affixed here, but compare this to the way Jon and Sansa are always staring into each other's eyes (usually in softly lit rooms). Just sayin'. 

Jon comments on Dany's Dragons, and she tells them that she named them for her brothers -Viserys and Rhaegar. This made me smile. And what I find so amusing about this, is just a few nights ago, I had a Nonny send me an ask referring to the general audience possibly forgetting that Rhaegar (Jon's daddy dearest) was Dany's brother --well, there you have it, Nonny, the narrative just delivered your reminder. Heh heh heh. ;)   I don't think that Dany believes Jon about the WW/NK yet (and really, we can't fault her) but he is getting his dragon glass, and in the meantime, it keeps Jon hanging around -more time to woo him to their side. 

And we head North to Winterfell (finally) to see that the Sass QitN is pretty freaking good at this ruling stuff. Like really, did we ever have any doubts? She's preparing for the enemy coming from both sides, because she's clever as hell (and I'm so proud of her!!!). Can't-take-a-hint Lord Creepyfinger is at it again -whispering in her ear with his creepy-creep-ness, and our girl once again, deliciously puts him in his place. Look, this constant talk of Cersei with Sansa, and the fact that she's lived and learned from her -plus this emphasis on how well she's taken up the helm at "ruling" and caring for her people, all while Tyrion, Jon and LF are all saying how smart she is ...I'm really starting to get the feeling that Sansa is THAT queen. Ya know -the one from Cersei's prophecy ...  

"You'll be queen, for a time. Then comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear." 

I usually try not to get tin foilish in my recaps, but this is the Jonsa edition after all, so bear with me. Sansa has literally learned from the master of ruthlessness, and I truly believe all this emphasis on that this season, is setting up the fact that Sansa will be the only one clever enough to see through Cersei's scheming, won't underestimate her, and in fact, be the one to bring her down. Sansa, if not indirectly, could be linked to all of Cersei's children's deaths (all she holds dear): 

She was betrothed to Joffrey, who after he cruelly tortured her for a time, discarded her for Margaery. Being the clever old bird that she was, Olenna got Sansa to open up about Joffrey's cruelty, which ultimately led to his death.  

Thrusting Sansa into a marriage with Tyrion who then were both accused by Cersei of murdering Joffrey. Sansa escapes due to LF's scheming, leading to Tyrion's trial by combat with Oberyn as his champion. When he is killed by the Mountain, Ellaria exacts revenge on the Lannisters by killing Mrycella.   

Due to Joffrey's death, Tommon becomes king, and takes his brothers widow for a wife -the same family responsible for Joffrey's death -who only murdered him because Sansa confirmed his cruelness. Tommon falls hopelessly in love with Margaery, and upon her death, commits suicide.   

It's also important to note, that Cersei is technically the one to blame for the deaths of all of her children, although she will never see it that way. While I was studying up on this prophecy, I also stumbled onto this from one of the book wiki sites:

When will I marry the prince?

Cersei is talking about Prince Rhaegar, whom Tywin Lannister intended to offer her to for marriage. Maggy tells Cersei that she will never marry the prince, but will marry the king. This foreshadows King Aerys refusing Tywin’s offer, Robert’s Rebellion, and Cersei eventually marrying Robert Baratheon after he is crowned king.

I just find highly coincidental that Cersei was almost wed to a Targaryen prince (and Jon Snow's father, to boot), and if we're all correct in our assumptions that Jonsa is in fact endgame (it is, by the way) then Sansa will take that from her, too. Which also strangely ties Sansa to -going from in the beginning of the story, wanting the prince who was actually a bastard, to getting the bastard who is actually a prince. Just sayin' ....

Okay, back to the show. 

Bran has arrived at Winterfell! I repeat BRAN HAS ARRIVED AT WINTERFELL!! And we are treated to yet another beautiful Stark reunion -minus "the nuzzle" -I repeat MINUS THE NUZZLE!! 

They are catching up in the Godswood, and the first thing out of Sansa's mouth (when she's in what she perceives is a safe space, and she's allowed to be vulnerable) is "I wish Jon were here". Ship them or not, there's a reason that they both mentioned each other in this episode -if only to remind us (the general audience) that they are, indeed, on each other's minds. 

Bran is quite emotionless, and I guess I get it. He needs to disconnect and emerge himself completely in this whole 3-eyed Raven deal, because the NK is coming, and he doesn't have much time to hone his powers. In light of their reunion, the writers chose to have him bring up the horrors Sansa suffered at the hands of Ramsey Bolton -to prove his power. I've seen some speculate that this was in fact Bran seeing a future Sansa wedding, and this very well may be, as he admitted himself that it all comes to him in bits. Part of me REALLY wants to believe that, but I think this had more to do with choosing something that would shake Sansa enough to know that what he says is true (cuz come on, he does seem a bit eccentric and cray, peeps). Or maybe it's both? Take it for what you will. 

Jorah has been successfully cured of his greyscale, and he is off to find his Dragon queen -and just ffs, I ship them so hard !!! They (Jorah/Sam) will meet again -although, I hope it's not on different sides of the battlefield. *cough* Targbowl. 

Sam doesn't get rewarded, but you can def. see that the Archmaester IS proud of him. Oh my heart! 

And we're back to Dany's war room. Two allies are down, her armada is gone. She wants to take her Dragons and go burn Euron's fleet -oh, I'm so shocked! But, her wise council talks her out of it, and Tyrion narrates the scene of Casterly rock being taken, while quoting his bro, Bron (like -I can't wait for these two to reunite). The siege is successful .....or is it? Well, NO -because Cersei is a BOSS! 

Euron has effectively taken out the rest of Dany's ships, and trapped GW and the remaining Unsullied at Casterly Rock (which by the way, is gorgeous, and it's about time we see it) -with limited supplies, and no one to come to their aid, they will likely die. 

So where is the rest of the Lannister army? Capturing High Garden, of course (and now Cersei will have their riches, as well). The battle scenes are skipped, and we see Jamie seek out Lady Olenna, who admits to being outsmarted. She warns Jamie that Cersei will be the death of him, and calls Joffrey a cunt (lmao, I love her), before swigging down the poison Jamie offers her. And right before the credits roll, she SAVAGELY admits to Jamie that she was behind Joffrey's murder, and she wants Cersei to know that. Daaaaaammmmmnnn!

And that concludes my Afterthoughts  ...see you next week. 

Oh, and Jonsa is endgame -spread the word. 

[aspenxlee]

first interactions.

first texts.

[21:39, 26/5/2018] Aspen: so... john, right?

[21:39, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's aspen!!! 😊

[21:39, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i saw you earlier today i hope you still remember me, maybe?

[21:41, 26/5/2018] John: aspen from 8th grade aspen??????????????????

[21:43, 26/5/2018] Aspen: ... yeah~ st pauls high school?

[21:43, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i saw you earlier today

[21:44, 26/5/2018] Aspen: asked your sister for your number

[21:44, 26/5/2018] Aspen: ... sorry, actually

[21:44, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i didn't know if you'd remember me and wendy did~

[21:46, 26/5/2018] John: yeah???????? mate it’s been qUITE a while

[21:46, 26/5/2018] John: no problem, really

[21:46, 26/5/2018] John: i have a great memory, don’t worry 😎

[21:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: six years, actually~

[21:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: well you also have great hair

[21:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: so there's that

[21:50, 26/5/2018] John: look who’s talking about hair

[21:51, 26/5/2018] John: a whole lot of hair, actually

[21:51, 26/5/2018] John: man it’s surreal

[21:51, 26/5/2018] Aspen: pretty long, huh?

[21:52, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm saving it so i can donate it~

[21:52, 26/5/2018] Aspen: the fact that is been so long? YES

[21:52, 26/5/2018] John: i thought it was just for the aesthetics

[21:53, 26/5/2018] John: but that’s sweet~

[21:53, 26/5/2018] John: YES and also the length of your hair

[21:53, 26/5/2018] John: mesmerizing

[21:53, 26/5/2018] John: you look good with it

[21:55, 26/5/2018] Aspen: well also that

[21:55, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm fool of aesthetics

[21:55, 26/5/2018] Aspen: oh my gidsorry

[21:55, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i meant full*

[21:55, 26/5/2018] Aspen: omg sorry my corrector

[21:56, 26/5/2018] Aspen: well you also look very good, john

[21:56, 26/5/2018] Aspen: the dots on your face: ��

[21:58, 26/5/2018] John: please call me johnny

[21:58, 26/5/2018] John: only the teachers call me john

[21:59, 26/5/2018] John: it’s too full of formalities

[22:00, 26/5/2018] Aspen: oh

[22:00, 26/5/2018] Aspen: oh... yeah... johnny~

[22:00, 26/5/2018] Aspen: that sounds WAY better

[22:01, 26/5/2018] Aspen: am i being too formal?

[22:01, 26/5/2018] Aspen: SORRY

[22:01, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm actually very nervous

[22:01, 26/5/2018] John: i just giggled

[22:02, 26/5/2018] Aspen: and since i don't have a nickname, you can still call me aspen?

[22:02, 26/5/2018] Aspen: BUT IT'S ALRIGHT

[22:02, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you must look pretty cute right now then 😊

[22:02, 26/5/2018] John: nah, mate, don’t worry

[22:03, 26/5/2018] John: i can call you aspirine if you want

[22:03, 26/5/2018] John: that was lame

[22:03, 26/5/2018] John: i’m sorry

[22:04, 26/5/2018] Aspen: ... very lame

[22:04, 26/5/2018] Aspen: but it's okay

[22:04, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i actually laughed at that

[22:04, 26/5/2018] Aspen: ÇASLKJDHFJDK

[22:04, 26/5/2018] John: 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

[22:07, 26/5/2018] Aspen: so you have bad jokes AND cute dots?

[22:07, 26/5/2018] Aspen: where have you been all this time, johnny?

[22:08, 26/5/2018] John: are you kidding me? i’m the king of bad jokes

[22:08, 26/5/2018] John: that’s i lie, my dad is the king

[22:08, 26/5/2018] John: i’m the prince

[22:09, 26/5/2018] John: trying to not be swallowed by paparazzi i guess

[22:10, 26/5/2018] Aspen: ... your dad and mum are like very famous, right?

[22:10, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's kinda insane

[22:10, 26/5/2018] Aspen: sorry you had to deal with the media so early, johnny

[22:10, 26/5/2018] Aspen: that must suck :|

[22:11, 26/5/2018] John: yeah, mum is a model

[22:11, 26/5/2018] John: and they went viral online

[22:11, 26/5/2018] John: so yeah

[22:11, 26/5/2018] John: no one ever said that to me

[22:11, 26/5/2018] John: sometimes, but i’m used to it

[22:12, 26/5/2018] Aspen: your mum is so pretty

[22:12, 26/5/2018] Aspen: (with all due respect obviously)

[22:12, 26/5/2018] Aspen: but she's gorgeous!!!!

[22:13, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i mean nice genetics

[22:13, 26/5/2018] John: I KNOW RIGHT

[22:13, 26/5/2018] Aspen: well it's the truth :( that must suck

[22:13, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you're very young~

[22:13, 26/5/2018] John: well thanks 😎

[22:15, 26/5/2018] John: i mean, mum and dad are all for privacy, but sometimes we can’t avoid, you know

[22:15, 26/5/2018] John: but it’s fine, really

[22:15, 26/5/2018] John: thanks

[22:16, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i wish i could say i do know but hey it's not my speech place, i don't know anything about spotlights and paparazzi...

[22:16, 26/5/2018] Aspen: no problem mate

[22:17, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i mean we don't know each other that much

[22:17, 26/5/2018] Aspen: but you can talk to me about it if you want to :)

[22:17, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's always nice to have a friend, i guess?

[22:19, 26/5/2018] John: friends, yes!!!

[22:20, 26/5/2018] John: let’s change that

[22:20, 26/5/2018] John: we don’t see each other since 8th grade

[22:21, 26/5/2018] John: it’s like meeting a new person

[22:21, 26/5/2018] John: lots of things can change in six fucking years

[22:22, 26/5/2018] Aspen: well we definitely should!!!

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: although i'm pretty sure i'm not as exciting as you are, kasai oh~

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: but hey

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i can always try

[22:23, 26/5/2018] John: what do you mean by that

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: are you into coffee? we can drink some cover~

[22:23, 26/5/2018] John: i’m average

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: coffee*

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: omv

[22:23, 26/5/2018] Aspen: omg

[22:23, 26/5/2018] John: i swear

[22:24, 26/5/2018] John: i love coffee

[22:24, 26/5/2018] Aspen: sorry about the typos im very nervous

[22:24, 26/5/2018] John: why?

[22:25, 26/5/2018] John: do i make you nervous?~ 😏

[22:25, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you're actually very tall and not at all average

[22:25, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you're pretty

[22:25, 26/5/2018] Aspen: apparently you do, johnnie 😊

[22:25, 26/5/2018] Aspen: we could drink some coffee tomorrow if you want to?

[22:26, 26/5/2018] John: thanks, i got it from my dad~

[22:27, 26/5/2018] John: coffee tomorrow sounds great

[22:27, 26/5/2018] Aspen: your dad do look very tall

[22:27, 26/5/2018] Aspen: especially when he's with your mum in pictures

[22:28, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's so cute~

[22:28, 26/5/2018] John: but i swear i’m average

[22:28, 26/5/2018] John: not that famous boy stereotype

[22:29, 26/5/2018] John: mate, my mum is actually tiny

[22:29, 26/5/2018] John: amd my day

[22:29, 26/5/2018] John: is a lam post

[22:29, 26/5/2018] John: i’m literally average

[22:30, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you're not at all any stereotype~

[22:30, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm just saying

[22:30, 26/5/2018] Aspen: that you're a great deal, kasai oh~

[22:30, 26/5/2018] Aspen: the pretty boy of the uk

[22:31, 26/5/2018] Aspen: uk is not wrong

[22:33, 26/5/2018] John: do you always talk so sweetly?

[22:35, 26/5/2018] Aspen: am I talking sweetly? I guess I should beg you a pardon? 😊

[22:36, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's indeed the way I talk, johnnie~

[22:38, 26/5/2018] John: no you shouldn’t, it’s just

[22:38, 26/5/2018] John: sweet

[22:38, 26/5/2018] John: you’re the sweetest

[22:40, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you're pretty cute yourself~

[22:40, 26/5/2018] Aspen: as i've said before

[22:40, 26/5/2018] Aspen: your hair is nice

[22:40, 26/5/2018] Aspen: and your dots are 💖

[22:40, 26/5/2018] Aspen: pretty boy~

[22:42, 26/5/2018] John: again look who’s talking abOUT HAIR

[22:43, 26/5/2018] John: are you looking into a mirror?

[22:45, 26/5/2018] Aspen: WELL????????? your hair is GORGEOUS

[22:45, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm actually looking at your profile picture~

[22:45, 26/5/2018] John: YOUR IS FLAWLESS??????

[22:46, 26/5/2018] Aspen: why tHANK YOU lovely~

[22:46, 26/5/2018] Aspen: pretty boy~~

[22:47, 26/5/2018] John: that was smooth as fuck

[22:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: well what can I say 😉

[22:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: hehehe

[22:54, 26/5/2018] John: stahp i’ll blush

[22:55, 26/5/2018] John: hey what’s your major?

[22:56, 26/5/2018] Aspen: oh so you blush, kasai oh?

[22:56, 26/5/2018] Aspen: now THAT'S very cute

[22:57, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm in my second semester of architecture~

[22:57, 26/5/2018] Aspen: wbu?

[23:12, 26/5/2018] John: i might~

[23:12, 26/5/2018] John: oh wow

[23:12, 26/5/2018] John: that’s so classy

[23:12, 26/5/2018] John: i’ll start on editorial production

[23:43, 26/5/2018] Aspen: cute~

[23:43, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i'm classy?????? you're on editorial production and I'M fancy?

[23:44, 26/5/2018] Aspen: that sounds very exciting~!!

[23:45, 26/5/2018] Aspen: and i'm a little ahead of you, did you had a relax year?

[23:45, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it must be very tiring to be always you know on the spotlight

[23:45, 26/5/2018] John: uh, architecture????????? fancy???????? as fuck??????

[23:46, 26/5/2018] John: i did, me and my sister took a year to rest and think about what we wanted to do and stuff

[23:48, 26/5/2018] Aspen: editorial production?????????

[23:48, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i mean you go lad

[23:48, 26/5/2018] Aspen: that sounds awesome~

[23:48, 26/5/2018] Aspen: and what did you decide, after all????? is uni really for you guys?

[23:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i mean is really (i beg your pardon) a pain in the ass to always study but hey

[23:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: why not am I rigbt

[23:49, 26/5/2018] Aspen: right

[23:49, 26/5/2018] John: we wanted to give it a shot

[23:50, 26/5/2018] John: you don’t need to apologize everytime you curse, i do it very often

[23:50, 26/5/2018] John: so

[23:50, 26/5/2018] John: no worries

[23:54, 26/5/2018] Aspen: welcome then

[23:54, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's living hell

[23:54, 26/5/2018] Aspen: oh no johnnie it's not that

[23:54, 26/5/2018] Aspen: it's just i don't curse very often myself

[23:54, 26/5/2018] Aspen: so it's pretty weird to i dunno do it?

[23:56, 26/5/2018] John: i heard the a lot actually

[23:57, 26/5/2018] John: you’re actually that sweet, dear lord

[23:58, 26/5/2018] Aspen: aw daaamn

[23:58, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i did hope to be the first one to welcome around

[23:58, 26/5/2018] Aspen: i can only hope to show you some news about uni but who knows~

[23:59, 26/5/2018] Aspen: you're way too kind, kasai oh~

[00:02, 27/5/2018] John: you can, whenever you want~

[00:03, 27/5/2018] John: i only speak the truth

[00:04, 27/5/2018] Aspen: after coffee, perhaps? I supposed no one showed you the greenhouse?

[00:04, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i know some biology fellows and maybe they will let us in

[00:05, 27/5/2018] Aspen: suppose* WHAT IS IT WITH THE TYPOS

[00:07, 27/5/2018] John: i swear i didn’t even notice that

[00:09, 27/5/2018] John: i’d love to see the greenhouse

[09:19, 27/5/2018] Aspen: thanks johnnie i feel much better about my typos and the fact that i'm awkward~

[09:20, 27/5/2018] Aspen: but you do make me nervous

[09:20, 27/5/2018] Aspen: so... today after a coffee? i can take you there 😊

[11:09, 27/5/2018] John: you’re not awkward, aspirin, don’t worry

[11:09, 27/5/2018] John: whY Do I mAkE YoU nErVOUS? i’m really average

[11:10, 27/5/2018] John: below average, even

[11:10, 27/5/2018] John: that’s what she said

[11:10, 27/5/2018] John: jk, i’m trash and i’m sorry

[11:12, 27/5/2018] John: see, i’m the awkward one

[11:12, 27/5/2018] John: but, sure!!! afternoon coffee sounds nice!

[11:13, 27/5/2018] Aspen: ... so we kept the aspirin part... NICE

[11:13, 27/5/2018] Aspen: APPARENTLY YOU DO

[11:14, 27/5/2018] Aspen: listen sir i'm a environment worrier so that means that i'll have to take the trash out. is 3 pm good for you?

[11:15, 27/5/2018] John: we did 😎👌🏻

[11:15, 27/5/2018] John: WHY CAN’T I MAKE YOU LAUGH INSTEAD?

[11:16, 27/5/2018] John: did you

[11:16, 27/5/2018] John: well that’s was really smooth

[11:17, 27/5/2018] John: how many smooth moves until now? is this the second or the third????????

[11:19, 27/5/2018] Aspen: WELL YOU DO THAT ALSO

[11:19, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i'd say that you make me soft all the time

[11:19, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well 😉

[11:19, 27/5/2018] Aspen: the environment worries me, kasai oh~

[11:20, 27/5/2018] Aspen: is 3pm good for you? 😉

[11:20, 27/5/2018] Aspen: lost count i can't concentrate that much while talking to you 🙊

[11:20, 27/5/2018] John: fuck i didn’t answer before, sorry 😩 3pm is great

[11:21, 27/5/2018] John: YES!!!!!!

[11:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: AKSJSGAKSG CUTE

[11:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: where do i pick you up, johnnie?

[11:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: are you at the campus?

[11:22, 27/5/2018] John: ok i’m pretty sure this is the third smooth move in this conversation

[11:23, 27/5/2018] John: my ego

[11:23, 27/5/2018] John: could be higher than my dad’s

[11:23, 27/5/2018] John: and that is huge

[11:23, 27/5/2018] John: yeeeeep

[11:23, 27/5/2018] John: unfortunately not sharing a room w my sister, but still at the campus

[11:24, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well i'm pretty good myself, but it's all on you 😉

[11:24, 27/5/2018] Aspen: ... aw daaaaamn

[11:25, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well i don't mind high egos

[11:25, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i can feed your ego sometimes

[11:25, 27/5/2018] Aspen: I don't mind

[11:25, 27/5/2018] John: don’t play with dangerous big dinosaurs

[11:25, 27/5/2018] Aspen: awe that sounds awful :(

[11:26, 27/5/2018] John: i know right

[11:26, 27/5/2018] John: a terrible death

[11:26, 27/5/2018] John: splitting me ad my twin

[11:26, 27/5/2018] John: and

[11:27, 27/5/2018] John: fucking tupo

[11:27, 27/5/2018] John: tYPO

[11:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: does it bite? i also don't mind that

[11:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: heteronormative rules

[11:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: we all been there

[11:28, 27/5/2018] Aspen: splitting lads and lassies

[11:28, 27/5/2018] John: kinky 👌🏻

[11:28, 27/5/2018] Aspen: thinking they'll stop everyone from having sex and stuff but ??????? you guys are siblings

[11:28, 27/5/2018] John: unfORTUNATLY

[11:28, 27/5/2018] Aspen: that's ridiculous

[11:29, 27/5/2018] John: that is the biggest lie they ever believed in

[11:30, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well uk also thinks that things have gender so there's also that am I right

[11:30, 27/5/2018] Aspen: too many lies

[11:31, 27/5/2018] John: finally someone who understands what my family thINKS

[11:33, 27/5/2018] Aspen: it should be universal but unfORTUNATELY there are that kind of people

[11:33, 27/5/2018] Aspen: and

[11:33, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well

[11:35, 27/5/2018] John: [sighs]

[11:36, 27/5/2018] John: did you know once my parents went to school because my lil brother wanted to wear a skirt

[11:36, 27/5/2018] John: the uniform skirt

[11:36, 27/5/2018] John: and they wouldn’t let him

[11:36, 27/5/2018] John: the next day me and my sister

[11:36, 27/5/2018] John: switched uniforms

[11:37, 27/5/2018] John: idk we were talking about heteronormative things and i just thought it was a nice story

[11:37, 27/5/2018] Aspen: oh my god that's the cutest thing i've ever read

[11:37, 27/5/2018] Aspen: honestly

[11:38, 27/5/2018] Aspen: how come are you real

[11:38, 27/5/2018] Aspen: the 2 of you

[11:38, 27/5/2018] Aspen: that's absolutely amazing i wish people were more like you, john kasai oh~

[11:38, 27/5/2018] John: they thE SCHOOL I MEANT

[11:39, 27/5/2018] Aspen: WELL I IMAGINED TH AT

[11:39, 27/5/2018] Aspen: your parents are amazing

[11:40, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i wouldn't think of them not letting him wear it...

[11:41, 27/5/2018] John: thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Oh

[11:41, 27/5/2018] John: GOOD I WAS SCARED FOR A BUT

[11:41, 27/5/2018] John: they would never

[11:41, 27/5/2018] John: and they were mAD

[11:41, 27/5/2018] John: but

[11:41, 27/5/2018] John: politely mad

[11:44, 27/5/2018] Aspen: birds and bees? 😉

[11:44, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well we're all british

[11:44, 27/5/2018] Aspen: and asian

[11:44, 27/5/2018] Aspen: we're polite

[11:44, 27/5/2018] Aspen: but you know it's better if we don't mess it up?

[11:44, 27/5/2018] Aspen: hehehe

[11:45, 27/5/2018] John: precisely

[11:46, 27/5/2018] John: thank god

[11:46, 27/5/2018] John: even bETTER

[11:47, 27/5/2018] John: i mean, i’m all for politeness but i can punch an asshole when my sister doesn’t do it first

[11:54, 27/5/2018] Aspen: oh i don't believe in violence myself but i'm glad you can do it before me hehe

[11:54, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i'm more of a words person

[11:54, 27/5/2018] Aspen: but hey

[11:55, 27/5/2018] Aspen: maybe we can help each other?

[11:58, 27/5/2018] John: i’m always here to help \o/

[11:58, 27/5/2018] John: i’ll only do it if Wendy is not fast enough

[11:58, 27/5/2018] John: which she is

[11:59, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well so i'll be very careful around you

[11:59, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i don't want to test your sister's punch out

[11:59, 27/5/2018] Aspen: or her patience lmao

[12:00, 27/5/2018] John: mate, it hurts

[12:00, 27/5/2018] John: been there, got hit

[12:00, 27/5/2018] John: if i ever show up with a bruise on my arm

[12:00, 27/5/2018] John: i took a punch

[12:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: ...

[12:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well

[12:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: so now i feel intimidated but hey

[12:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: you can show me the bruise... for scientific reasons...

[12:27, 27/5/2018] John: oh don’t

[12:27, 27/5/2018] John: it was probably as a joke

[12:28, 27/5/2018] John: she doesn’t punch dudes people for no reason

[12:28, 27/5/2018] John: for science of course~

[13:06, 27/5/2018] Aspen: ... the punch?

[13:07, 27/5/2018] Aspen: omg still intimidated

[13:07, 27/5/2018] Aspen: but don't worry, pretty boy, there won't be punches

[13:07, 27/5/2018] Aspen: (i hope so)

[13:07, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i'm very into science 😊

[13:08, 27/5/2018] John: she does that to people, it’s a normal reaction

[13:09, 27/5/2018] John: i thought you were into drawing and planning places 😏

[13:10, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well she's also very pretty that must intimidate people as well

[13:10, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i'm also very eclectic, if you want to know 😊

[13:10, 27/5/2018] Aspen: how would i say no to body studies?

[13:11, 27/5/2018] John: ......you have a point

[13:11, 27/5/2018] John: of course she’s pretty, she’s my twin sister 😎

[13:12, 27/5/2018] Aspen: there you go 😉

[13:12, 27/5/2018] Aspen: touché

[13:12, 27/5/2018] Aspen: as I said

[13:13, 27/5/2018] Aspen: you guys have great genetics

[13:13, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i don't really remember your little brother but i'm pretty sure he's also part of the genetics team

[13:14, 27/5/2018] John: MIKE IS THE PRETTIEST

[13:14, 27/5/2018] John: jk i am

[13:14, 27/5/2018] John: but he’s the sweetest

[13:14, 27/5/2018] John: jk that’s me as well

[13:16, 27/5/2018] Aspen: alright now I see the dinosaur ego

[13:16, 27/5/2018] Aspen: got it

[13:18, 27/5/2018] John: that was just a little part of it

[13:21, 27/5/2018] Aspen: can't really blame you

[13:21, 27/5/2018] Aspen: if i were you of have a dinosaur ego as well hehe

[13:22, 27/5/2018] John: don’t feed the dinosaurs kids

[13:22, 27/5/2018] John: they might come back for more

[13:23, 27/5/2018] Aspen: as I said I don't mind the dinosaur~

[13:23, 27/5/2018] Aspen: neither the dinosaur's bite~

[13:26, 27/5/2018] John: mate you’re adorable

[13:26, 27/5/2018] John: do you talk like that in person too??????

[13:29, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well I hope to surprise you a lot yet, kasai oh~

[13:29, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i indeed talk like that in person

[13:29, 27/5/2018] Aspen: are you this cute in person as well?

[13:30, 27/5/2018] John: nah, i’m more silly in person

[13:31, 27/5/2018] Aspen: oh god i'm doomed

[13:31, 27/5/2018] Aspen: don't send me kpop memes what if you discover some dark side of me........

[13:33, 27/5/2018] John: don’t worry we’re all kpoo trash in the kasai oh family

[13:33, 27/5/2018] John: kPOP

[13:33, 27/5/2018] John: KPOP

[13:35, 27/5/2018] Aspen: kpoo

[13:35, 27/5/2018] Aspen: loved it

[13:35, 27/5/2018] Aspen: 10/10 name

[13:35, 27/5/2018] Aspen: well good to know i'm also kpop trash

[13:37, 27/5/2018] John: yAAY

[13:38, 27/5/2018] Aspen: but don't let me talk too much about it, i get too excited...

[13:40, 27/5/2018] John: ok, we’ll leave the kpopper talk for when we talk in perdon~

[13:40, 27/5/2018] John: person

[13:40, 27/5/2018] John: what’s with the typos

[13:40, 27/5/2018] John: fuck

[13:41, 27/5/2018] Aspen: that's a good plan, kasai oh~

[13:41, 27/5/2018] Aspen: are you also nervous? 😊

[13:45, 27/5/2018] John: i might

[13:46, 27/5/2018] John: i never uhm did this

[13:47, 27/5/2018] Aspen: ... what? you never went to the greenhouse?

[13:47, 27/5/2018] Aspen: it's okay, i can show you around so you don't get lost 😊

[13:48, 27/5/2018] John: ........yeah

[13:54, 27/5/2018] Aspen: you won't get lost, i promise you

[13:54, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i can hold your hand if it helps~

[13:57, 27/5/2018] John: pinky promise?

[13:57, 27/5/2018] John: you can if you want to c:

[14:03, 27/5/2018] Aspen: the pinkiest of the promises~

[14:03, 27/5/2018] Aspen: good... hehe...

[14:11, 27/5/2018] John: good

[14:12, 27/5/2018] John: if you break it your pinky will fall off

[14:16, 27/5/2018] Aspen: oh no that must suck i'd hate that

[14:16, 27/5/2018] Aspen: there won't be any pinkies falling off...

[14:17, 27/5/2018] Aspen: i'm gonna get ready~

[14:21, 27/5/2018] John: good~

[14:21, 27/5/2018] John: shIT ITS 14:22

[14:22, 27/5/2018] Aspen: YUP

[14:23, 27/5/2018] Aspen: but i won't take long

[14:23, 27/5/2018] Aspen: at 3pm im at your door~

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: NO

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: INWAD TALKING ABOUT MYSELF

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: I WAS

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: SHIT

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: OK

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: I’LL BE READY

[14:26, 27/5/2018] John: no worries at all

[14:26, 27/5/2018] Aspen: NO WAIT

[14:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: IT'S OKAT

[14:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: OKAY

[14:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: I CAN PICK YOU UP AT FOUR

[14:27, 27/5/2018] Aspen: IT'S ALRIGHT TAKE YOUR TIME

[14:29, 27/5/2018] John: NO

[14:29, 27/5/2018] John: WET SET IT AT 3PM

[14:29, 27/5/2018] John: I’LL BE READY AT 3PM

[14:29, 27/5/2018] Aspen: I DON'T MIND JOHNNIE

[14:30, 27/5/2018] Aspen: do you want at least 30 minutes? think you can get yourself ready in half an hour?????

[14:38, 27/5/2018] John: of coURSE I CAN