#deranged.fh.posting

[mcybree]

So I'll choose for the both of us, And you'll just go along because You've trusted me, for no good reason, Love no matter what the season

fanart of when fh won third life, something that happened and I didnt just make up. based on this hypothetical (in the tags)

the still images bc mobile HATES this gif

[mcybree]

you know what? sure man. scott can say whatever he wants I guess

“Jimmy takes a while to break down, I was his partner for season 1. Takes a while but once you whittle him down to nothing, it works. No see I’m a master of it because—“

[mcybree]

God this is still so funny. “montage of some of our best moments and memories that I have with him” and it’s:

moment they first met (ok)

passing by him down the stairs (ok)

ruining tango’s cow operation (fun activity they did together!!)

zoomed in footage of jimmy dying (???)

That’s it (youtube scene slide transition and cartoon sound effect)

[mcybree]

If we’re going to have the conversation about how fh is talked about in fandom: the amount of shit i saw in the flower husbands tag that set off alarms in my head before i stopped checking it is astounding. Like. there’s a reason i started primarily beastlife posting i will be so real with you.

The way people talk about toxic fh portrayals on here and toxic relationships in general is not only concerning from a safety perspective but it felt like walking into a party with a big arrow that says “this guy was in a toxic relationship in REAL LIFE!!!” and everyone looks and you and goes ewwww can you be normal. Can you write characters just breaking up normally. Like I dont know man can people read into mcrp without seeing condescending posts in the maintags about it. i could only block so many people bc new guys kept showing up to share their two cents

Like yeah its just mcrp discourse which is inherently unserious but some of those posts were underlined by a misunderstanding of how toxic relationships even work. i cannot stress to you how much “scott loved jimmy so he couldnt have been abusive” is like. reflective of real life beliefs about relationships that are dangerous to have. that is literally the kind of thinking that makes you susceptible to toxic relationships in Real Life. Like yeah we’re just talking about cubes but PLEASE STAY SAFE OUT THERE? It stressed me out for real. Can you kids stop playing with wild dogs in front of me

[mcybree]

Final results from 842 votes! Thanks to everybody who left their thoughts in the tags ^_^ this is a really interesting subject to me and having a compiled place to look at what lots of people currently think about them is awesome.

Fucked up Flower Husbands with the least votes was expected, but I think it’s still much higher than it would’ve been a few months ago. Most surprising thing to come from this was how often I saw “Flower Husbands are cute in Third Life, but nowhere else” but it does make sense— people do see whatever the hell they’re up to in the life series these days… (Though I am confused on what esmp1!fh did LMAO).

The poll also brought up lots of questions about what gets defined as a “toxic” relationship by fandom. From the tags, I got the impression that the ‘toxic relationship’ that’s enjoyed by lot of these votes are, like… They had a messy breakup. They are exes on bad terms. Scott is not over him, etc. The poll results are great, it’s a nice test of the current flower husbands fandom climate, but I’d say my main takeaway from this is that flower husbands is a vague mass of “I havent watched third life in a while but here’s probably what happened” and “a relationship becomes toxic when you argue once.”

(if your opinion has infinite nuance just pick whatever it’s closest to)

(also if you like unhealthy fh hmu) (idea by @mcybree)

[mcybree]

sits down at the kitchen table with my head in my hands… long despairing sigh… The “home? home” scene. it takes place in Scott’s perfect afterlife, seeing as the world had been changed to reflect what Scott “always wanted it to look like” and whatnot. this is all well and good but have we considered this from Jimmy’s perspective. have we considered the implications of Jimmy being sent to an afterlife catered specifically to Scott

[mcybree]

this is going to sound insane but i keep ruminating on that clip of 3l!scott telling jimmy that he’ll “always be more powerful” than him. he says it like it’s just the natural assumption to make and explains how Jimmy will always have weaker tools and armor than Scott does because Scott is the one supplying him (barely true btw but I digress) but the crazy thing is that that is Not the natural assumption to make actually. If you’re in an alliance with someone, you want them to be on the same level as you. You share resources. If your teammate is behind, you help catch them up. THAT IS WHAT YOU DOOOO YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO ALWAYS BE MORE POWERFUL THAN HIM THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKSSS

[mcybree]

yeah sorry I was in a weird mood (better version under cut). it’s metaphorical btw i dont think he’d actually do this

^ i like this version a lot more but the colors were unfortunately too cute to be the main version

[mcybree]

Hey guess who’s back. For the record I dont actually think a single person read this but the more I think about it the more I think that it’s worth it anyways I can’t get enough of these guys

VERSE 2

I personally see this as said from Jimmy’s perspective, but while he was still alive.

“Take my word but keep the upper hand” is a banger line in general, but here it is from the perspective of a husband who doesn’t stand with his partner on equal footing. There is a pattern through Third Life in the Flower Husbands POVs: Scott pushes Jimmy around a lot (there’s a lotta timestamps with this one so I’m just gonna link the compilation, but if you want any specific ones shoot a DM), Jimmy even considers leaving Scott and living with Martyn once he’s offered (also in compilation, but the full conversation is in Jimmy POV Ep.1, timestamp 24:42). In any one of their interactions (barring one specific one in the desert because Scott doesn’t humor desert duo like Jimmy does), Scott keeps the upper hand. Jimmy can talk all he’d like, and Scott can listen all he’d like: their issues? Never resolved.

“So let my hope grow cold and atrophy / ‘Cause there is no more room in your heart for me.” I would like to think that Jimmy notices when Scott brushes off his concerns, and he is hurt by it, right? Or else he wouldn’t have considered leaving. But, contrary to the line I’ve focused in on here, there is more evidence towards Jimmy making up excuses for Scott and trying not to think about it too hard, rather than Jimmy giving up hope in response to this hurt. However! When Jimmy accidentally sets off Grian’s trap, killing himself, Ren, and Skizz in the process, Jimmy is newly red, guilty and terrified. He comments on how he’s too afraid to even leave his house, and always thinks he’s about to die. Additionally, he fully believes that what happened to Ren and Skizz was his fault, even though most of the blame was put onto Grian, and stresses that he feels terrible about it over and over. But when Scott goes to check on him, he brings Grian and Scar, and then mocks him for being red and not having armor (also in the compilation, but also Scott POV Episode 4 25:33). Scott is not helpful or sympathetic towards Jimmy for the entirety of the conversation, and even emphasizes that Jimmy killed two people when Jimmy says he feels bad. Scott lets Jimmy’s hope grow cold and atrophy. And maybe it would be different without the backdrop of war, in a place where preparation for the inevitable battle didn’t take up so much space in Scott’s thoughts. But Scott has other shit to worry about without the husband he thinks he doesn’t care about. (“ ‘Cause there is no more room in your heart for me.”)

These verses, as well as the next one, are connected with the words “Oh my love,” repeated. We will revisit this.

[11/75] Jimmy Solidaritygaming and Scott Smajor - October

“Come, my dear, and be a part of my home.”

Credit to @ccynosaur on Twitter for making this cover

[mcybree]

On 3l!Jimmy and guilt and FH and various tangential things: a post that got out of hand and morphed into something completely different by the end. Enjoy?

I read a good Jimmy analysis post a while back on how important Jimmy’s pride is to him, and how he’ll back himself up when no one else will, often to his own detriment. And this is such a key part of his character, right. Jimmy doesn’t often withdraw or get all nervous and shy when bad shit happens to him, he gets louder and angry and all riled up about it. He projects his insecurities outwards and then picks battles over anything he perceives as an insult.

So it is strange how that seems to be… almost missing in third life. In that series specifically, he withdraws more often than not, he fears making independent decisions, and he makes concessions he typically would rather make a stupid hill to die on than consider:

Joel and Martyn tell Jimmy they feel lied to, and Jimmy is quick to ask how he can make it up to them, agreeing to give them cows for free. Jimmy is threatened by Grian and Scar into giving up his diamond chestplate and he folds easily, then goes home to tell Scott he just “wasn’t thinking.” Jimmy gets blown up by Grian’s tnt trap and says the walls around the flower valley need to go up, he says he’s never leaving his house again, and after it’s all settled he’s afraid to even walk home without Scott.

Honestly the only time he ever picks a fight in true Jimmy fashion is in Episode 1 with Martyn over some stupid sign placement, and then with the red army negotiations when he burned the banner— but that, notably, wasn’t a personal pride thing! It was a very Jimmy way to go about it, but he got defensive because he thought they were going to hurt Scott, and spitting in their faces was the best way he knew how to protect him (as this is how Jimmy typically protects himself).

He’s just very tame, overall. Defanged. He doesn’t stand up for himself like he usually does.

And yknow. If I had to take just. A personal guess as to why that is. I think the difference primarily stems from 3l!Jimmy’s tendency to take on personal blame for things that aren’t even his fault. A Jimmy character feeling bad about the things he’s done isn’t new, he often does do regrettable things, but what sets 3l!Jimmy apart is that he excessively self blames for what are often unsubstantiated reasons.

Grian’s tnt trap triple kill (emphasis on Grian’s) is the most dramatic example. After Jimmy accidentally activates it, he repeatedly stresses just how bad he feels about it, and apologizes to skizz directly, telling him he feels like he’s “ruined everything.” Jimmy blames himself entirely for this incident, to the point where it allows for him and Scott to team up with desert duo, who DIRECTLY SET UP the trap and OUTRIGHT TOOK CREDIT FOR the kills, in the next episode without even a mention of caution or bitterness. This is irrational; if Jimmy were to ask any given person if they genuinely think the deaths were ENTIRELY his fault, I don’t think anybody would seriously say that it was.

Except for Scott. Scott would say it is, and that’s the issue. He did say it, actually, first implying it (“Jimmy I told you that we needed to shoot it from a distance!”) but then outright telling him (“You killed two people!”)*. Scott later backpedals a bit, telling Jimmy that it was Grian and Scar who gave him the loaded gun, and it wasn’t him that brought it. While nice, that sentiment was seemingly too little too late.

* (both of these are said in the scene at about 25:33, ep4 of Scott’s pov in case anyones curious. assuming my timestamps from a year ago are correct if theyre not lmk. I also have rough timestamps for like everything else referenced in here in one big document so if anyone needs them feel free to ask)

This is all to say: I think Jimmy’s self blaming tendencies and, by extension, his unusual lack of self confidence this season are a result of his relationship with Scott. While the TNT trap incident was the catalyst for those feelings being brought so front and center, I believe that Scott created an environment which normalized Jimmy taking on personal blame for things aren’t his fault beforehand, or at the very least disproportionate amounts of it (so when he legitimately fucks up and makes a disastrous mistake, it’s the only thing he thinks to do). Primarily because Scott, himself, blames Jimmy for a lot of things, but also because Jimmy doesn’t understand the motivations behind a lot of how Scott treats him, and has to retroactively fill in the blanks with what makes sense. Full transparency: I am staking this ladder claim on both his undying admiration for Scott seen throughout the entire series that would require a thought process like this to support, and one (1) interaction between him and Martyn in episode 1. However, I’d still argue it’s a significant interaction.

MARTYN: I just seen you get slapped around, like what’s- what’s going on?

JIMMY: I just- Y’know- just. well we’re living opposite each other…

MARTYN: Are you happy living with Scott?

JIMMY: WE’RE LIVING— We’re living opposite each other! And he builds fantastic. And mine just looks like- I’m just not a builder, y’know? Just not a builder.

And. Personally. To me. Answering “What’s going on?” with “I’m just not a builder” in regards to Scott pushing him around implies that Jimmy made a connection between him being a bad builder and Scott’s reaction. In reality, Scott “slapped him around” because Jimmy showed up too early for a deal that he didn’t know about. But Jimmy doesn’t accept that as the reason, and instead traces it back to a personal fault, something he will go on to make a habit of until he dies in the desert.

After all, it becomes very easy to explain away various mishaps and misfortunes as “oh I’m just not a builder” or “oh I must not have been thinking,” when Scott’s favorite activity is implying Jimmy is incompetent and can’t be trusted to do anything on his own. (Some fun scott quotes being “why do I let you do things” “as long as we dont let jimmy do anything we’ll be fine,” and most directly, “see that’s why I said, ‘I dont trust Jimmy with anything’ because he’s incompetent”)

And it’s funny, right? Because Jimmy isn’t one to just let people put him down like that. When other people in other series tell Jimmy that his house is ugly, Jimmy will defend it with pride and stand up for it twice as much to compensate. But when Scott calls his house ugly, he tells Scott to stay put while he quickly runs to try and fix it, and then hurries back to ask if it’s better. Because he admires Scott, he never stops admiring him, he’s always expressing that (“you’re good at everything” “you’re full of good ideas, aren’t you?” “how are you such a good builder?”). And he doesn’t get defensive when Scott says these things, not in the same way— He tries to, but it comes across more desperate than anything (“say something good about me!”) because he places Scott on such a high pedestal and yearns for that approval. Scott is different.

This is how, despite all odds, it gets to him. And it changes how Jimmy perceives himself. Scott doesn’t trust Jimmy not to fuck up any given task, so Jimmy doesn’t trust himself in later episodes, especially post-Dogwarts explosion. The cake scene, while admittedly a very cute moment (so I do hate to cite this here but it’s a good example), works because Scott left a cake in Jimmy’s room without saying anything, and knew that the first thing Jimmy would do is get scared and come get him. Because that is the first thing 3l!Jimmy thinks to do when he’s scared! And it’s entirely unsurprising how it got that way! In the very first episode, Scott tells Jimmy that if it wasn’t for Scott finding him in the beginning, he would’ve been the first to die. It’s generally a joke to point to fh and go “Jimmy is like Scott’s pet lol, Jimmy is like a lost puppy without Scott” but there really is some truth in that, and I find that to be somewhat haunting considering Jimmy takes so much pride in his independence usually. Jimmy’s hesitance towards making independent decisions can also be traced back to Scott finding Jimmy’s independent decisions inherently frustrating but that’s already part of the FH dissection essay I have in my drafts and this post is long enough already. There’s also a whole other discussion to be had about how Scott’s say is the final say no matter what and Jimmy knows that which further deincentivizes independent decision making (REPEATEDLY POINTS TO “I’ll try and sweet talk him, but if he starts hitting me, what can I do?”) but that is also for the essay

I dont know where I was going with this. I think I made my point in the third paragraph but I feel lots of things about these characters and have lots to say so as I kept writing I got more and more emotional and now I think I’ve driven my little block people shaped autism car into a brick wall. I think I’m going to go throw up and then let the earth reclaim me. yeaj that sounds good

TL;DR: girl I dont even know

[mcybree]

being “in love” is difficult to define as everyone experiences the specifics differently but I suppose for this post I’m categorizing it as disney-like swooning and the typical descriptions of what crushes look like in coffee shop fanfiction. I’d specify this as “in the romantic sense” but half of this is talking about Scott and I don’t think he feels anything in the romantic sense beyond platonic feelings of affection that he mistakes for romance because he’s so in love with the idea of it. A big facet of Scott’s character is the idealization of traditional romance (hence why he’s so quick to commit at Jimmy’s love confession, with some imagination it checks all the boxes of that love-at-first-sight day 1 fairytale love story he believes he’s in) without actually getting much enjoyment from it beyond maybe one episode. He states that he and Jimmy are married, he finds a place to settle down with him, and then he shares his resources with Jimmy because that’s what married people do, all while waiting for Jimmy to get picked off by some enderman as early as episode 2 (real thing that happened btw I love 3l!Scott). After Jimmy dies, Scott once again falls in love with the idea of Jimmy as he briefly did in Episode 1, doing a complete 180 in the respect he gives Jimmy after Jimmy’s personhood has been put completely out of sight. Scott did not fall in love with Jimmy, he’s in love with cutesy hollywood romance films and every once in a while Jimmy represents that to him.

[mcybree]

I WATCH A SCOTT POV -> I AM CHARMED BY HIS CUTE SKIN AND INTERIOR DESIGN -> HE DOES SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO THE PEOPLE HE LOVES -> I LOCK HIM IN AN ICE CHAMBER FOR A BILLION YEARS LEAVING HIM TO LIVE OFF ANTS AND SALTINE CRACKERS FOR ETERNITY AS PENANCE -> I THINK ABOUT HOW HE’S ONLY TRYING TO SURVIVE IN THE WAYS HE KNOWS HOW -> OH POOR BABY I FORGIVE YOU -> I AM CHARMED BY HIS CUTE SKINS AND INTERIOR DESIGN -> HE

[mcybree]

this gave me such a vivid mental image I drew it like two weeks ago and then just now remembered

i really wanted to put this image in instead if the crying emoji but it wouldnt let me

aromantic smajor is so funny to me i respect it honestly i kinda vibe with it but it just makes everything he's ever done in his life a billion times funnier sorry

[mcybree]

in celebration of me no longer being too afraid to say fuck all here’s my top 10 epic fh divorce moments compilation in an actual post

[mcybree]

this scott 3l rewatch it so so strange. i was right with my original notes, their relationship does not read nearly as scary from the scott pov and im really wondering why this is. My first theory was that it was an editing style thing or a background music thing or maybe the specific scenes that are missing but now that I’m really thinking about it I Dont Know

[mcybree]

Traffic scott is my specialest little guy in the whole wide world and I do want him to be happy as much as I want to see him put in a dishwasher with thousands of sawblades but man I cant kid myself for any longer. I know deep down that he learned nothing from third life. Ok he did learn something in that he knows it hurts when his partner dies so now he does everything he can possibly do to ensure they never do and make it as far as they can but that all consuming fear of losing what he loves can only spur on character growth so much. He doesn’t want to even acknowledge he was hurt because if he HAD done that he wouldn’t be fishing for affirmations from Jimmy all while being just as cruel to him as he’s always been. Its like he wants Jimmy to say that he still loves him despite everything so that he can be assured that he was always a good partner like he is now because he needs to be perfect and he needs to be good. he needs it. scott holds himself to such a high standard that it makes feeling regret ten million times more painful than it otherwise would be, and he never knows what to do with it so he does so many mental gymnastics to ensure that he never feels regret at all. But he can’t avoid the regret with Jimmy because the regret was so potent and intrinsic to the situation that he doesn’t think he can possibly make up for it so this short circuits him into trying to will it away instead. he’s mean to Jimmy and he doesnt give a shit, all while he still aches for the pardon that Jimmy doesnt even understand that he’s after. I don’t think Scott knows he’s after it either