#despite my extreme abandonment issues (i go thru the emotions of being left very very easily) —
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#im scared#because i have one person in my life who i actually........ feel like trusting#i believe their words. i believe that they wouldnt lie to me#despite my extreme abandonment issues (i go thru the emotions of being left very very easily) —#i didnt freak out when they were quiet for a bit bc i *felt* like they're someone who wouldnt do that to me#not without words or saying anything at all to me#but im scared bc i love and care for them so much#what if i do smth wrong? what if i drive them away? what if i say smth bad or what if they find out smth they dont like abt me#i like them so much i cant even imagine not having them in my life in one way or another forever :(((#and i feel like a lot of my feelings abt this has to do w my avpd. so it's hard to explain#basically im just scared of letting ppl close bc that never ends well#but i love them sm i just cant... idk it's all so scary. idk how to put it into words actually ://#or maybe... maybe it'll just happen again#bc what if. what if they'll leave me too. i cant not think abt that or be scared abt it bc what it
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