#devotedskeletons cinematic universe

[your-talos-is-problematic]

My suit :(

My tophat :(

What's next, My company??!

Ughh. Fine. If you’re going to be so picky.

🎩👔👠

I saved your life, you know. You could at least thank me.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

(..I am back. I may not be on like every day but I'm here. Love you)

Please send help there is a bunch of crotch goblins roaming the halls, Tolvoc.

(BEAR! Yaaaay! <3 <3!)

Sorry, Corporate. Breeding season for the bone sentries.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

...*Corporate walks to Tolvoc, and hugs him*

Corporate. What in the here are you doing. You-

oh. oh! that feels… nice.

Thanks, Corporate. I’m sorry for yelling at you.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

...I can feel things now.. I need to find a dog...

Are they fluffy? What do they feel like?

Ummm… on Earth, yes. Very soft, very fluffy, very cute.

Here? They tend to… have three heads. And an above average number of teeth.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

I'm sorry for upsetting Tolvoc... I really didn't want to bother him! He was in a meeting, and I knew my geologist was in that quarter, but she never told me which room so i knocked.. -wallowing in self hatred-

Corporate… you’re fine. I got you a permit- turns out they have an exception for wizard’s curses. They must be pretty common.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

:D I've never had ice cream! How does one eat it?

With a spoon?

[your-talos-is-problematic]

...Elisa, I pissed him off. I fuckin pissed him off... I guess I could go back to the Cave..

Corporate, don’t go back to the Cave. Stay here until Tolvoc’s done at the DoHV. Eat your ice cream :)

[your-talos-is-problematic]

(Sorry if this went through, parently my phone ain't show me if it did or not-)

Elisa, what is crying? ...I don't know if I am currently experiencing it or not. Why is water falling from my eyes? I don't like it.

Corporate… that’s crying. You are feeling emotions. As humans do.

And, so it seems, Tolvoc is. I’m going to go check out what happened there, but I’ll give you some ice cream so you can wallow.

🍨

[your-talos-is-problematic]

I can at least head inside my room, right?

-sniffling, not sure how to deal with this-

Yes, Corporate. Let me get back to my meeting.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

...i just wanted to find my geologist. I knocked on doors and stuff, but I couldn't find her. I found a really cool rock and I wanted to see what it was and then I knocked on the wizards door and then he did this to me...

Corporate… don’t go knocking on doors in hell. not a good idea.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

...i didn't know there are wizards

(corporate for turned into a human :(, ))

...Help?

Yep that’s definitely skin. How in hell (literally) did that happen? Which of my wizards did you disturb, Corporate…

[your-talos-is-problematic]

>:(

-angry corporate noises-

Elisa told me to stop threatening the sentries with infernal smites so that’s probably why they haven’t been listening. How many pizzas do I have to make for them?

[your-talos-is-problematic]

-very angry skeleton rattleing-

I WILL CURSE THISE UPON THIS LAND, AND SELL THEIR SOULS TO THOSE ABOVE AND BELOW, IN ORDER FOR THEM TO REALIZE THAT I AM NOT AN INTRUDER!!!!

-more angry skeleton noises-

Who was it this time? I swear I told everyone who you were.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

One of the guards thought I was an intruder >:(

I made them bones :)

I would ask that you don’t dismantle my bone sentries again. They are quite expensive to pay. I’m going to have to give that guy at least five pizzas to repay him. I will make sure to inform them of your position.

[your-talos-is-problematic]

My Lizards :(

-sad skeleton noises-

Ooh anyways. I got shark bones :)

Sorry about your lizards but I did get a lot of tips that day because of them.

What do you typically do with the meat leftovers from the skeleton-making process? I’d be interested in purchasing it

[your-talos-is-problematic]

-casually walks on over, holding a plate of dead lizards-

My army 🥹.

It's time. 👍

:)

*pulls out a flamethrower*

Tolvoc and his friends are eating well tonight.