#dgmw i like romancing astarion but as a completely separate idea this is hilarious

[aerois]

I need a BG3 AU where shortly before turning vampire and losing most of his memories, Astarion fathers a child but never finds out (because, yknow, memory loss).

200 odd years later he’s just barely resisted slitting the throat of some poor youth outside a Nautiloid ship crash only to have said youth, upon hearing his name, practically screech:

“Astarion? Wait… Astarion Acunin? …YOU’RE MY DAD?!”