#dick dancing on the edge of 'does he know or am I paranoid'

[green-eyedfirework]

Dick undercover in a strip club as one of the dancers and he really was not expecting Slade Wilson to walk in.

[scottfuckingreed]

It’s a Pogue thing - JJ Maybank

NOT REQUESTED

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Warnings!: Swearing, drugs and alcohol, and SMUT!

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“Morning guys!” I beam as the boat comes to a steady stop at the edge of my front garden. It’s almost like a routine. More often than not we sail into an open set of water. Sometimes we fish, mostly we just simply do nothing. Pope extends his hand out to help me onto the boat. It strikes me sometimes that, although we are all the best of friends, it probably seems a strange mix of people to some people. We’re the scraps of the island. The ones who no one really acknowledges. Kiara and I would technically be Kooks. Both of our families have money but it doesn’t really mean shit. Everyone from ‘our end’ are airheads. They care about nothing and no one but themselves. Pope’s parents have worked their asses off, so they’re in a stable place. They don’t understand why Pope hangs with us, and sometimes I wonder the same thing. He has a real chance of getting out of this place. John B and JJ are childhood besties. Their upbringing is similar, except John B’s technically an orphan, and JJ’s father’s a piece of shit. But that’s just pogue life.

“Is your mum still out tonight?” JJ asks, making my head slowly turn towards him. Do I even need to ask? “I mean, yeah-” “Great! We’re throwing a party,” I raise my eyebrows. “Hahahahaha, definitely not.” The last time I had a party with these idiots, so much shit broke in my house. I’m not getting grounded again. “Come on Y/N! It’s summer. We could all use a party!” I roll my eyes at his words. I open my mouth to shut him down but John B lets out a cough. “Actually, Y/N, I agree.” Kiara looks just as confused as I do. His father’s been missing for almost a year. Recently he’s been looking more in depth, which I support to a certain extent, but it’s at on overload right now. I’m surprised a party would even be on his radar. “I need to talk to Sarah Cameron.”

Sarah Cameron. She’s like Kook royalty. I don’t think she’s too bad. A bit sheltered maybe, but her and Kiara have a history. So you can imagine the change in look on her face as he mentions her name. “She mentioned something that might help me figure out what’s happened with my father. Do you think she’d come?” Okay that makes sense. Ki’s face doesn’t change, and the rest of us just glance between each other. “I mean, probably... but I don’t really wanna hang-” “I just need to talk to her, then you can call the party off,” a smile - too shiny and wide - spreads across his face. John B’s always had this affect on people. He gets exactly what he wants.

As soon as I get home I scan my house. Anything fragile, valuable, or anything of the sort needs to be hidden. Vases, mini statues, ashtrays from holidays abroad. Things that make this house a home will be locked in an upstairs bedroom. I’d like to live this life a little longer.

So here I am; picking an outfit for a party I don’t wanna go to. A party that I’m apparently hosting! Since I’m not dressing for anybody, I go for a simple short black dress. It really resembles my mood. Almost as soon as I put it on, I hear my front door shut. I jog down the stairs, adjusting my boobs into their rightful positions to come face to face with my intruder.

“You should really announce yourself or something. I thought I was gonna get murdered,” in front of me stands JJ. His outfit consists of a pair of lovely beige shorts and a colourful shirt; left open to show off that torso of course. “I could kill you,” he flirts. His eyes immediately go to my cleavage. This is nothing new. I think he’d fuck a table if it gave him the right vibe. “Hey!” I snap my fingers at him. “My eyes are up here you know.” Before I go to kick him, he makes a very boyish comment of how I look sexy and whatnot. He wanders away into the kitchen, probably to raid my fridge before the party. Let’s get this over with.

More and more people start to gather in my house. In the Outer Banks, everyone kind of knows everybody. I don’t actually know all these people, but I’ve seen them around. I close my eyes for a second, before pouring a drink for myself into a classic red cup. “Are you okay?” Ki nudges me with a smile. Ki and I are very similar people. She probably doesn’t wanna be here either. She could leave, but I know she won’t. “I just realised I’m the host, and I don’t wanna be here,” I laugh it off and hold my drink up to her. “Cheers!” I add.

After about 2 and a half drinks, I’m really starting to feel this party. The music is average. It’s the ‘for everybody’ kind which means it’s majoritively overplayed and everybody more or less knows it word for word. Despite that, and despite the fact that I didn’t really want this party to happen, I drag Ki into the dance area and boogie with her. Well- I dance, she stares at me with a concerned look on her face. “The trick is you have to pretend you’re having a good time,” I giggle into her ear in a slightly tipsy tone. Although she shakes her head, I can see her trying to contain herself from moving to the music. I take her hand and spin myself into her. Her eyes give me the ‘can I go now’ look. Grunting, I give in. “Fine! Please if you see anyone doing or touching shit they’re not meant to, beat them!” I smile innocently after my words, and she scurries faster than she should. Damn. Am I that bad of a dancer?

Music vibrates the walls. It’s been almost 2 hours since the party started and it’s actually going quite smoothly. John B has asked every 5 seconds if Sarah’s here yet. I shush him with my finger. “I promise I will let you know when I see her. Honestly, you sound a bit obsessed with her...” I chuckle. “Hey!” I poke JJ on the arm. At this point, just call me mother. “Please don’t smoke that in here,” I gesture towards the spliff in his hands. “It’s a party Y/N! Relax!” With that, I snatch it out of his hands. His face grows serious. Confusion fades as I realise it’s not aimed at me. Both JJ’s and John B’s eyes stare at the group entering my house.

First in, Sarah. Like I said, I don’t really have a problem with Sarah. She comes across a bit self centred sometimes. That’s minor.

With her, her boyfriend Topper. Topper’s a dick but I think he’s harmless. He’s honestly a pussy.

And his best friend. Her brother. My ex boyfriend. Rafe.

There’s a saying; dead things should stay buried, or something like that. That relationship should be 6 feet under, but times that by 10. I guess it was a ‘serious’ relationship. It lasted about a year. It was almost perfect at the beginning, that I can’t lie. As both of our families are respected, and very close anyway, it just seemed right. There was no disgust. He was accepted. I was accepted. We did everything a couple should; went on dates, were around each other 24/7, even did weekends away together. And we argued. The thing about Rafe is he’s an over thinker. He’s paranoid. When traits like that mix they can... make a monster. The last time he set his hands on me was about 4 months ago. I’ve avoided him like hell ever since.

“This is why I shouldn’t have a party,” I sigh. My eyes can’t seem to leave that area. It’s strange to see him. I don’t want him here. “Why’s he even here? He does have some balls,” John’s tone sounds somewhat impressed. I’m not. I’m not sure if my body is ready to cry, or laugh, or scream. Finally, I blink my eyes away, and set eyes on my two friends. Before I speak, JJ opens his mouth. “We can kick him out,” he assures me. The slight nudge on my shoulders by each boy is comforting. “It’s fine,” I sigh, taking JJ’s drink out of his hands. As much as I’d love to see Rafe get his ass kicked and thrown out, and I can promise you I would, this is my battle. I can’t avoid him forever. “Fuck,” I whisper, knowing what I’m about to do. I bring JJ’s cup up to my lips and tip the entire contents into my mouth. “Shit Y/N, I wouldn’t-” before he can warn me fully, I swallow. My eyes instantly water. “What the fuck!” I gasp at the disgusting taste. I’m sure a toilet would taste better than that. And yet, that concoction would be easier to digest than the conversation I’m about to have with Rafe.

The walk over felt somewhat unreal. As if, if this was a movie, my passionate walk would be in slow motion. Between the music and my racing heart, my dramatic ‘I am the main character’ strut was complete. If only I wasn’t totally shitting myself. A brave face Y/N. Just fake it.

And then I’m in front of them. Perhaps my slow motion moment wasn’t quite slow enough. It could’ve been everlasting for all I care. “Hey Sarah,” I smile. Her sympathetic smile is warming, but ultimately useless in this situation. I doubt Rafe told her the whole story, but I can imagine she knows too well what he can be like. Maybe he even made something up. I wouldn’t be surprised. She drifts away rather quickly. I don’t know what the deal is with her and John B, but I imagine Topper intends to watch her like a hawk. He’s that type of guy. Topper doesn’t even speak, just stands slightly behind as if he’s one of Rafe’s minions. To be honest that kind of describes him perfectly. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rafe just has him around to lick his ass. When I have to, I finally look at Rafe’s face. “What are you doing here?” I ask. My eyes scan everywhere on his face but his eyes. The thought of doing that makes me uncomfortable. “It’s a party Y/N,” the smirk on his face screams fuckboy. “Plus, I wanted to see you,” he raises his hand to my face, going to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. My hand forcefully bats his away, making a loud slap sound; even over the music. “I’ve missed you,” he leans closer so his shouting can quieten a little. My limbs instantly tense at his words. Somehow it makes me feel kind of sick thinking about it... thinking about us. The fact that it was a thing is just... “You need to leave Rafe,” my attempt to sound blunt and assertive is a massive fail. Instead my voice echoed in a wobble, making me sound weak and pathetic. “You don’t mean that, come on-” his hand wraps around my wrist, taking my back to a time I’ve tried desperately hard to forget. I pull my arm away once, but his grip holds too strong. As I go to pull away again, a pair of large hands push against Rafe’s chest. “What the fuck man?!” Topper’s voice erupts from Rafe’s shadow. A henchman fighting his duties. I turn to see JJ, red faced, standing with a threatening stance. “We don’t want no trouble JJ, my girl here is just being a tease,” Rafe’s tone is patronising. “Leave it, JJ,” my right hand gently squeezes his left shoulder. “Let’s get a drink, Topper,” I wanted him to leave, but I watch him walk towards my kitchen. I hate that he’s in my house, but at least he’s away from me. For now.

I fade away. Without full control, my body makes it’s way upstairs. Just to breathe for a second. Almost as soon as I drop my body onto my bed, the door reopens. Startling me, I come face to face with JJ. “Hey,” his voice rings soft. When he closes the door behind him, the music becomes muffled. Peaceful. I press my lips together into a forced smile. “Should I tell everyone to fuck off home?” He gestured towards the door. I shake my head, cracking a smile. “It’s fine. I just needed a minute away from... that,” his arm extends, a red cup at the very end. I screw my face up at the smell. “How do you drink this?” Just from sniffing it, I feel myself getting more and more tipsy. “If you need it, it goes down quite easily-” he pauses as I take it. “Plus I’m really cool and manly so.” “Ah, of course.” A big part of my body (probably my stomach and liver) starts screaming no. I have no idea what alcohol is in this cup. I know it’s a lot. After this cup, I will probably be more or less gone. A micro part of me says fuck it. That’s the part I listen to. The liquid burns down my throat, and yet it strangely goes down quite smoothly compared to the first.

“I am sorry about Rafe,” JJ has taken a seat next to me on my bed. Usually I’d banish people away from my room, but I feel like JJ saved me tonight. He’s a bit of a prick at times, and an absolute idiot, but I trust him. Maybe I trust him too much. “It was gonna happen at some point,” I shrug. “He’s such a pussy,” when I start laughing at JJ’s words, I realise that the alcohol may have sunk in. A hiccup escapes my mouth. “Fuck.” I whisper to myself as my smile fades. I’m an idiot to have ever gotten with him. Young and dumb maybe. “Hey...” JJ rests his hand on my knee and squeezes gently. My body, in my tipsy state, reacts to this motion is a strange way. Why did that just give me butterflies? He’s only comforting me. My eyes drift up to look at him properly. Is he... leaning in?

I stand up before he gets close. I rub my eyes frantically. Maybe I’m about to wake up from a nap or something. “I’m sorry... I just...” I breathe. The crazy thing is, I felt it too. My body is reacting in crazy ways right now. I think I’m turned on? By JJ? That’s something I never thought I’d say. I mean... he’s hot. I’m not blind. I guess I’ve never looked at him like that. But I am now. I’m looking at the blonde hair, and the jawline, and the smile. Okay, that’s enough. I’m just in shock of seeing Rafe again. That’s it: “Pogue on Pogue isnt allowed,” I state, mainly to myself. I need massively convincing right now. I need JJ to tell me that I got the wrong idea. Tell me it’s disgusting and I’m too much like a sister. We’re meant to be family. Come on Y/N! That’s gross! Before he says anything, he shrugs. That damn fucking shrug. In my state of mind, it’s attractive. “I don’t really care,” that’s it. I’m convinced. I needed him to say something else, but that’s ultimately the answer I hoped for. “Me neither.”

I practically jump onto him, straddling him and crashing my lips onto his. The softness, yet passion, against my lips is something I’m not sure I’ve ever felt. This should feel wrong. Only, as JJ’s hands smooth up and down my body before sitting on my waist, it couldn’t feel more right. Without a second thought, I glide my tongue into his mouth. I can sense it takes him by surprise. The most attractive moan escapes him, which I can imagine was not intentional. The kiss proceeds to get more and more intimate. Somehow we just move in sync. He slowly lays back, our lips not separating once before he’s fully beneath me. Maybe JJ was previously holding back, but a rush of ‘horny teenage boy’ suddenly rushes over him. Both hands go to my ass. As much as I don’t want to fall apart under his touch so fast, the immense pleasure radiates through my body. I break away from his kiss slightly and moan massively into his mouth.

We stop kissing for a second. Our heavy breaths bounce against each other. It’s a strange moment to be in. Was this always bound to happen at some point? “Should we stop?” Confusion hits as he speaks those words, and yet he proceeds to trail kisses down my neck. I push his head down onto the pillow with my right hand cupping his chin, bringing my face close enough to his that our noses are pretty much touching. “Do you want to?” I simple ask. I’d be almost offended by his words, but only if his hands weren’t grinding me down onto his crotch. Perhaps it’s a guilty conscience. We are both massively likely to regret this in the morning. We are also likely to get caught and get grief from our small circle of friends. They are good enough reasons to stop. They are good enough reasons for this to have never started to happen in the first place. They just don’t amount to one thing, and that’s that I want this right now. His head begins to move side to side. I can’t help but begin to smile massively. “Then shut up and fuck me.”

It was as if that was a jump start. JJ’s manly hands flip us over immediately. I let out a giggle as he begins to undo his shorts. The speed of the removal of both his shorts and boxers was impressive. They get thrown wherever they go. My eyes quickly glance at his penis, before looking back up to his eyes. I suck in my bottom lip before pulling him back down to kiss me again. This shouldn’t be this easy. His tongue slides back into my mouth, battling with mine for dominance, all too easily. I’m not even a little bit nervous... until I feel his fingertips glide up under my dress. He hooks his finger under the waist band of my thong and does nothing for too long. It might’ve only been seconds, but those seconds were some of the longest seconds of my life. He pulls them off ever so slowly. I was becoming a literal puddling mess beneath him.

He knows what he’s doing. He knows he has me wrapped around his finger right now. His tongue plays against mine skillfully; slow and passionate. He’s doing everything right. Once my underwear finally reaches my feet, I just can’t hold it back anymore. “Are you done teasing me now?” I practically beg. I’m soaked, a mess, and almost fully sober. If anything, I wanted this more now than I did when we started. My heart continues racing, but I stay composed and reach over into my bedside table. I rip it open. I simply hold his shaft with two fingers. JJ takes a deep breath in. Fuck. He watches my hand roll the condom down with his mouth slightly open. “Time to break some Pogue rules,” he whispers before lining himself up. I should not be this ready for this.

Even with just the tip, I could’ve come apart then and there. I haven’t had sex in months. Whether you believe me or not, I had not imagined it would to be JJ Maybank who I was going to break my ‘no boys’ commitment to myself with. When he begins inserting himself inside me, I realise this is actually happening. The slow, easy slide in had me in pieces. I was already moaning and he wasn’t even moving properly yet. He stops. “This-” I pause to steady my breath. My entire being is, dare I say it, excited. “This has to stay between us,” I compose myself. Although this is a one time thing, it has potential to ruin a hell of a lot. So, even as I wrap my legs around his body, we have to make this promise. “Scouts honour.” He brings his pinky up to me. Kissing the backs of our hands, it was sealed.

He starts pulling out slowly, making my jaw gradually open wider and wider. He pauses before pushing back in. His eyes lock with mine, and he smiles cheekily. I’m not certain what that smile means, but I can sure take a guess. There is a part of me that wants to stop. Nothing’s really happened yet. But no part of me actually wants to. When he pushes himself back inside me, my fingers spread into his hair. His lips land back on mine, my tongue swirls around his like it’s an everyday activity. I pull gently on his hair as he begins steadying a pace. “Shit,” I moan against his lips.

Fingertips glide across my thigh, tracing patterns and sending my stomach into spirals. I couldn’t hook my legs around him tighter if I tried. The wave of tremendous pleasure of each thrust was like a drug. Every time his body collided with mine I wanted more. I needed more. To feel this, in this moment, with JJ was wrong. So why doesn’t it feel that way? His lips leave mine slowly, tracing kisses across my cheek until his lips land near my ear. “You feel so fucking good,” the vibrations of a deep husky moan forces a moan out of me. His teeth latch around my ear lobe, sucking down before moving down to my neck.

The friskiness of JJ’s lips and tongue is like motivation. With strength I didn’t know I had, and confidence in myself I thought I’d lost, I push against JJ and flip us over. Lust fills his eyes. I just sit there, only for a second, actually liking the way JJ is looking at me. Yes, it’s because I’m straddling him half naked. It’s still nice. His hands squeeze the tops of both of my thighs as well as moving up to my hips... then my ass. It was as if he pressed fast forwards.

I move my body up to start thrusting onto him again, with his helping hands guiding back down. “Fuck JJ,” I moan, leaning forwards to bring my face close to his. My moans become more and more prominent between our kisses. The hands, that remain on my ass cheeks, remain strong and steady. The way he still controlled my body, even though I was on top, was such a turn on. I reach for the headboard. If there wasn’t a party going on downstairs I think everyone would be hearing us loud and clear. The bed starts making a rather persistent squeaking noise. I let out a laugh-moan when the headboards makes a ‘one time’ bang against the wall. I could tell, with the way I was grinding myself down onto him, he was close. What a relief!

“I’m so close,” I moan against his lips in a muffled whisper. Although my body grew tired, JJ continues helping my body thrust up and down. The knot in my stomach started to tighten. My heart rate increases quite a bit. “Fuck Y/N, you feel so good around me!” His fingers grow stronger against my hips as he came closer and closer to finishing. Even with his grip being quite forceful, all I could feel was an astonishing amount of pleasure flushing through my body. The release felt like a long time coming. Once I started to let go around him, it only took seconds for JJ to reach his climax too. With his help, we ride out our highs. I grow slower and slower, until both of our climaxes finished. My heart is racing. I lift my body with the last piece of energy I had. My sensitive core flinches as he pulls out from me once more. Collapsing onto him, I fall into the crevice on his arm all too well. “Shit,” I mumble. I don’t think it’ll actually sink in until tomorrow. I’m too scared to punch myself in case I don’t wake up. “That was... uh...” he doesn’t even need to finish his sentence. “I know.”

The next morning

I wake up in a strange yet awfully familiar place. The walls, the blanket, and the view outside my window are all home. The curtains weren’t drawn last night. When I roll over, there’s something that shouldn’t be familiar. I set eyes on a naked JJ sleeping soundly next to me. My eyes widen. I can’t help but sit up drastically fast. I first find my thong. As quietly as I can, I open a drawer beside my bed and rummage for a t shirt. I find one and put it on, only to turn and see JJ’s eyes staring my way.

“Morning sunshine,” he smirks. His bed hair sticks up in every direction. I notice his boxers across the room so I stand and throw them his way. I watch as his face changes, but the proud smirk on his face remains. “We fucked last night,” he chuckles, standing to put his boxers on. I press my top and bottom lips together. “Don’t look too impressed with yourself,” using the hairband around my wrist, I quickly whip my hair up into a ponytail. My legs make their way to stand next to the boy. “It was better than I’d imagined it,” he adds. I backhand him on the arm. “Hey!” His eyes are warming. This is when I realise that I don’t regret it. At least, not half as much as I thought I would. It’s not even awkward. Part of me automatically assumed it would be. “Right,” I clap my hands together. “Are you ready to clean a house?” I ask. His rolling eyes scream loudly. Before he can even protest, I butt in. “This is your party, your mess. You’re lucky I’m gonna help you!”

With each step down the stairs, more of my messy house is revealed to me. “If anything’s broken, you’re replacing it,” I warn him. Red cups, empty beer bottles, even clothing was scattered across the floor. I start imagining the way people probably started behaving when JJ and I went upstairs. What if people fucked on... well... anywhere?! “I think we should just go back upstairs,” JJ suggests. This is going to take so long to clean. I feel JJ’s hand slap against my ass. “It’s never happening again,” I say simply. Yes, it was pretty amazing. No, I do not regret it. No, it should never happen again because our friends will kill us. “Whatever you say babe.”

Click here if you’re interested in reading PART TWO

[vexie-chan]

Blue Eyes

“Are you secretly in love with me?”  It was just a joke...Jester was just trying to break the tension, to make everyone laugh. But now she can’t get his stupid blue eyes out of her head. What if Caleb really is in love with her? 

This got stuck in my head a few days ago, so I wrote it during a snowstorm at work today. I deeeeeeeeeefinitely don’t ship Widojest. 

I may revise and repost to Ao3 later. I haven’t decided yet. 

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Jester is a cleric, so she’s obviously good at reading pain. The pain that radiates from Caleb in waves is almost too much for her. It’s always there, but it’s so magnified right now. He just looks so overwhelmed and terrified and lost. And so, so very sad. He looks like a wild animal someone has backed into a corner. So Jester does what she always does. She cracks a joke to lighten the mood.

              “Are you secretly in love with me?” she asks, leaning in with a knowing smile. It’s not the first time she’s played that card—it’s not even the first time today that she’s played that card. She’s waiting for his look of surprise, that wide eyed, mouth-slightly-open face he makes when he doesn’t know how to respond to what she said. Or maybe his okay, let’s be serious face. Even—best case scenario—that smile that only she can get him to do, the one he wears when she hints that his books might not be dick-free. She’s expecting some sort of relief from the darkness that’s about to crush her friend.

She doesn’t expect the sudden, strange expression that crosses his face. He looks directly at her—into her. It’s only for a fraction of a moment, but his eyes meet hers and Jester feels as though she’s been shocked, like that night with the lightning ball thing. It’s like he’s cast some spell but she knows it’s not magic. It’s just Caleb’s bright blue eyes, staring back into hers. Did she know his eyes were blue? She feels like she did—she’s always thought his eyes were so pretty, like two jewels shining in a junk heap. But she doesn’t remember them being like this. The moment they meet her own, she feels herself being sucked in, pulled into pools of blue, drowning. And then his eyes close and he looks down. It’s like a lamp is put out, suddenly. It’s disorienting. Jester takes a breath like she’s just come up out of the water.

              What was that? She writes in her sketchpad later. The page above is filled with attempts to capture that moment, to capture those eyes, blue as the sky and as deep as a frozen lake. She can’t decide what it was she saw there—there’s that sadness that constantly hangs around Caleb like the coat he wears. But there was something else, too. Fear and hope and desperation and need and loneliness, all tangled together, but so deep. She draws his eyes over and over, trying to get the expression right and never quite catching it.

              Oh Jester…I’m glad you see good in me. This, she writes carefully, twining the words in a golden script through the sea of mournful blue eyes. When he’d said it in response to her little dance, he’d smiled then, even through the pain. It was small, but it was warm and true, like a little bit of sun peeking through stormclouds. She’d smiled back, though her heart still ached for him. There were a thousand things she wanted to say, to assure him that of course she saw good in him, but she didn’t. She’d just smiled.

              Sighing, Jester turns the page and begins writing to the Traveler.

              I know I should be thinking about Nott and her husband. I am—I really, really am. I want to make sure she’s okay and he’s safe. They deserve to be together and to be happy. I guess that’s my prayer—please watch over Yeza for us. It’s going to take a really big trick to get him home.

               But, Traveler, what if Caleb really is in love with me? I can’t stop thinking about that, either. I’m sorry if that makes me a bad person. But it’s stuck in my head and I can’t stop. I was only joking when I said it, but now that I’ve said it, what if it’s true? What if it’s not a joke? The way he looked at me…did you see? Traveler, what do I do?

              There’s a whisper of laughter in her ear.

              What do you wish to do? Your heart is yours to give. What about your green boy? Are you finished with him, or do you want both, now?

              Jester leans her head back against the wall.

              I don’t know. She writes, not wanting to speak out loud and disturb her sleeping roommates. I never thought about it before. Fjord is…complicated right now.

              Images of Avantika’s possessive, predatory smile float through her mind. That woman still makes her burn with anger. And Fjord has just been so…different. He’s a different person than she thought he was. Everything about him is complicated.

              But…Caleb? I guess…he’s always nice to me. He talks to me, sometimes. He doesn’t get mad if I draw in his books. He danced with me once. Sometimes he calls me Blueberry, which is pretty cute, I guess. But I don’t know…if it’s love? It’s not the same thing with Fjord, and it’s nothing like the books.

              Caleb is complicated in his own way. He’s always been kind to her. He’s a good friend, but he’s so sad all the time, and so rough. All walls and edges. It’s hard to imagine him being in love with anyone. Except…except for that time when they danced. He danced beautifully, just like a princely character from her books. Even though he was really drunk and he wasn’t really seeing her, he was a perfect gentleman. That night, she could see him being romantic. But with her? She tries to picture what it would be like to kiss him.

Closing her eyes, Jester feels the Traveler’s smile.

              It never is, my Jester. Love is…a little bit of chaos. Remember, it’s your choice. Always your choice. Have fun, whatever you choose.

              Jester closes her sketchbook and slides under the covers. She closes her eyes but only sees Caleb’s blue eyes looking at her.

                It’s two days later when she finally catches him alone. Two days of trying not to flinch whenever he looks at her, of biting her tongue whenever he speaks to her. Two days is two days too long. They’ve decided to stop for a rest. Caduceus makes them a partial cover into the stone wall of the tunnel, but moves some distance away to cook food while Caleb makes the bubble…they’ve found that it’s not good when smoke from the fire gets stuck in there. It makes for a very stinky night.

              The others decide to split up and do a little bit of scouting—one group a little bit ahead, one group checking behind to make sure they’re not being followed by anyone or anything. Fjord seems a little paranoid.

              “I’ll stay here with Caleb and Caduceus,” Jester says nonchalantly. “Just shout if anyone needs healing!”

              All three groups—team Base, Team Forward, and Team Backward repeat various forms of Be Careful to each other, then set about their tasks. Jester waits until she sees the shimmer of the bubble obscure Caleb before ducking inside.

              Was he always pretty? Jester can’t remember. He’s pretty here, sitting under the dim glow of his bubble, the warm light playing with the red highlights in his auburn hair. He looks up at her curiously. The blue eyes that have been haunting her dreams and appearing in her sketchbook search her face now. She’s distracted for a moment, her artist’s eye trying to see what she’s getting wrong in the shape of his eyes, why they’re not quite right. His stupid, sad blue eyes that won’t leave her alone.

              “Jester? Is everything all right?” Caleb asks, his quiet voice shaking her from her thoughts.

              “Yeah, everything’s great, Caleb!” Jester replies out of habit. That’s not necessarily true, she scolds herself.

              “Is there something you need?” Caleb says, tilting his head at her.

              Jester takes a deep breath. She’s never been nervous to ask Caleb anything before. Not since they had their misunderstanding the first time they’d gone to Zadash and he’d stormed away from her, smearing mud across his face. That seems like so long ago now. But now, Jester can’t seem to find the words. She kneels down in front of him, smoothing her skirt out around her. She takes her time, as if arranging her skirts is the most important task at the moment.

              “Caleb…I was just wondering…” she starts hesitantly, playing with the hem of her draping sleeves. They’re starting to fray. She’ll look as ragged as Caleb before too long.

              Caleb waits patiently, not speaking. He just watches her with his stupid blue eyes. Jester takes a deep breath, rolls her shoulders back, and plunges in.

              “The other day, I asked if you were secretly in love with me and you looked at me really weird. So now that it’s just you and me, I want to know for real. Are you in love with me?” she asks.

              Caleb’s breathing catches. She hears the hiss, as if she’s burned him. His jaw clenches and this time instead of looking at her, he looks through her. His face is set as if he’s been hurt in some way, like when he takes a hit in battle and doesn’t want to worry anyone. Jester reaches out for him, alarmed, but Caleb jerks away from her before she can touch him. For a moment, they just look at each other.

              “I--” Jester stammers. “I didn’t mean…”

              “I am sorry,” Caleb whispers, running his hands through his hair. “I was not expecting…”

              “No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t…mad or anything. It’s totally okay. You can’t help who you fall in love with. I just…I was just curious,” Jester says, looking down at her hands, clasped in her lap now.

              If she looks up, she would find Caleb watching her carefully, a war raging behind his eyes. She’s surprised when he speaks, voice soft and measured.

              “Jester, you are…one of the most amazing people I have ever met. From the moment I met you, I have been charmed by your joy and your creativity, amazed by your confidence, and delighted by your smile. You make the world a less awful place wherever you go, even for someone like me—which I never expected and am forever grateful for,” Caleb says. “You make everyone’s life better just for being there. Even my life is better with you in it.”

              Jester looks up at him, eyes shining.

              “You are in love with me,” she breathes.

              Caleb gives her his small, sad smile then.  He inclines his head.

              “I might have been, once. A very long time ago,” he admits. “But I’m afraid…I can’t. Not now.”

              Jester’s smile fades a little.

              “Why not? Is it because of that girl from your past? Astrid?” She asks, heart sinking. Will there always be someone else?

              Caleb shakes his head, though Jester sees the flash of pain flicker across his face at the mention of Astrid.

              “Nein…this is because of…of me,” he says slowly, eyes going out of focus again, but this time as if he’s trying to think of something.

              “If it’s just you, then why can’t you just change it?” Jester asks.

              Caleb laughs, dropping his face into his hands for a moment. He looks back up at her.

              “Ah, Jester. I told you that I was glad you see good in me. I want you to see that—maybe it’s selfish of me, but you…you can almost make me believe it,” he says. “But there are many things you do not know about me. I am not as good as you think I am. And there’s nothing—there’s not enough of me left to give to someone else anymore. Especially someone who deserves the whole world and more.” He holds out his hands helplessly. “I wish I had something to give you but I do not. I have nothing for you. I have nothing for anyone.”

              He’s so earnest and so dejected. But even as her heart breaks for him, Jester can’t help but feel warm. No one has ever said things like that to her.

              “Caleb I…I’m sure whatever you have would be enough,” she says, looking up at him. “I wouldn’t ask for the whole world, obviously. If we were to...you know. I would only want you, whatever there is of you. Maybe I could even help you find the rest of you.”

              “Nein, I am afraid not,” Caleb replies, shaking his head. “I was lost a long time ago, and I don’t think anything will ever fix that. I’m sorry, Jester, but I cannot give you what you are looking for.”

              Jester looks down at her hands again, tears pricking her eyes. Stupid, she chides herself. It’s not like you were in love with him. You just wanted to know if he was in love with you. This shouldn’t bother you like this.

              “Oh. I see,” she mumbles.

              Warm, rough fingers tilt her chin up. His stupid blue eyes are full of concern and regret, mouth pulled into a frown.  

              “I did not mean to hurt you,” he says softly. “I truly am sorry.”

              “I’m fine, really,” Jester lies, wiping at her eyes. “It’s just…not fair.”

              “I know,” Caleb says, voice dropping back to a whisper, his eyes lowering.

              Jester knows this face. He’s taking responsibility for all of this, adding it to his list of burdens like she adds things to the haversack. She thinks for a moment, then scoots forward so she can wrap her arms around him. Caleb lets out a small noise of protest.

              “Even if you can’t love me, I’m going to love you, okay, Caleb?” she says, not letting him go.

              “Jester…” Caleb starts doubtfully.

              “I’ll love you as a very good friend,” Jester interrupts, leaning back to smile at him, putting one hand on his face. For a moment, Caleb hesitates, then allows relief to soften his features. He gives her one of his rare, true smiles.

              “Good,” he says. “I treasure your friendship.”

              Jester’s smile widens. He should recognize her trickster’s grin, but he doesn’t. Caleb is caught off-guard when she leans in and plants a gentle kiss on his lips. It’s different from kissing Fjord. Fjord doesn’t have a beard. But Caleb’s lips are surprisingly soft, for all his roughness. He tastes like smoke and earth. But in an oddly good way. Jester stands, taking a step backward as Caleb’s face blushes to a deep red, one hand going to his lips, his eyes wide.  

              “And if you ever decide you do have something to give…we can talk again, okay?” Jester says. “I won’t bring it up again until you do. I promise.”

                             “I love you, Caleb,” she says, taking one last look at his blue eyes before ducking out of the bubble. She doesn’t wait to see if he says it back. His eyes won’t ever look the same to her, but they won’t haunt her anymore.

              As Jester wanders across the cavern to see if Caduceus needs help with dinner, she decides she likes blue eyes. Especially eyes as light as the sky and as deep as a frozen lake. Maybe someday, she’ll figure out how to break through the ice and warm Caleb up. After all, she is a cleric.

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Lap Dance With A Side Of Regret

Requested by Anon. Hope you enjoy it and I did it justice. Thank you for the request.

Happy Reading Dollies.

Warning Underage Drinking.

(Gif credit to @sweetpeaismylifenow

“You flirted with her”. You screamed as you walked out of Whyte Wyrm, throwing your hands in the air with frustration. “It was a little dance, that’s all”. Sweet Pea grabbed your arm for you to stop. “Bullshit, your dick was basically inside her”. “You’re just paranoid”. “And you’re just single”. “Bye Pea”. Sticking your middle finger up at him, walking off and getting in your car, speeding off. It had been two weeks since you had talked to Sweet Pea, you avoided him at school and at the bar. You made Fangs keep him away from you, you didnt want to see him but deep down you wanted to see him. You still loved him, you always will. He was your first love and your first time. Being together since you were fifteen years old. He was the ONE, well you thought until you saw him and some blonde bimbo grinding on the dance floor. “You have to talk to him, he’s miserable with out you”. Toni pleaded for you to even look at him in the hallway. “No, he knows we are together but then he goes and does blondie”. “They didn’t do anything, she wanted to but he stopped before things got heated”. You rolled your eyes. “It’s not happening, so stop your pouting”. “Whatever, you two are meant for each other”.  She got up and left. Maybe she was right, but you had to get him back.  So that night you dressed in a white tee with a black bra that pushed your boobs up perfectly, black cut up jeans that hugged your curves with your highest heel boots. Your make-up banging and hair in braids like Sweet Pea liked them. Strutting into Whyte Wyrm, your confidence through the roof.  Your leather Serpent jacket hanging on your shoulder as you went to the bar.  Ordering a shot of whiskey to just take the edge off of what you were about to do. You walked over to the stage, placing a cd into the radio. Looking at Sweet Pea as you bit your lip, he looked so good tonight, but you shook the thought from your head and put your eyes on FP Jones, your president. “Hey FP, would you like a dance”? Bending over, making sure your ass was in the air. He chuckled. “I heard what’s going on with you and Pea, so you think this will make him jealous”? “Hoping so, he’s probably going to get really mad, that’s how I want him”. You smirked, licking you lips, seductively “If he tries to kick my ass for this, you’re going to get punished”. “He’ll take care of that”. “Then get on with it then”. He grabbed your face, licking the tip of your nose, making you shiver. One of the older Serpents pressed play to the music. You ran your hands down your body, standing in between Fp’s legs, your hips swaying to the music. FP pulled you on his lap, your hands on his thighs as you grinded on him. Sweet Pea’s eyes never leaving you. Everyone around him, kind of stepped away quitly as they saw his fist ball up. He was pissed, but he didnt move, he just watched you give FP a lap dance. Laying back on FP’s body still moving to the music, you saw the same fucking blonde grab Sweet Pea’s hand taking him to the back where things happened in the dark. You knew it well with Sweet Pea so you knew what he was doing. You felt the pit of your stomach dropped with anger. How could he? “Go get him”. FP whispered in your ear. You shook your head. “He doesnt want me now”. “That boy loves you, if you dont go get him now, him and you will regret this forever”. FP pushed you off of him, clapping for you as you walked back to the back. Grabbing the door knob with your shaky hand, you peeked in. Hearing talking in the dark, you switched on the light. There sat Sweet Pea and the blonde just talking. “What do you want”? Sweet Pea sneared. “Nothing, I came to tell her that FP wanted her to finish the dance”. You went to close the door. “What you arent finishing it”? “No, I’m going home, I’ve had enough”. “Oh, couldn’t handle the heat”? “FP reminded me that if we do something stupid we both will regret it and right now I’m regreting it”. You turned your head, wiping a tear away. “Yeah me too, that’s why I’m talking to her, telling her that she was a mistake”. She got up and went to leave as she whispered in your ear. “He’s really sorry, so am I, no hard feelings”?  You nodded. Taking a seat beside Sweet Pea, he reached across the table taking your hand. “I’m sorry”. “I’m sorry too, I should have just kicked her ass and been done with it but instead I brought FP into our problems”. “Hey, it’s okay, to be honest, he looked very weirded out”. Sweet Pea chuckled. “Yeah I know, I’m a horrible dancer”. “No you’re a great dancer, I was mouthing to him that he was a dead man and I know where to hide the body cause he taught me everything”. Sweet Pea laughed loud. “Oh Pea, you mad man”. “I love you”. “I love you too, now come to Daddy”. Leading you to his lap, you straddled him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing his lips. You began to move your hips hard. Sweet Pea grunted, his hands went to your ass, kneeing and giving it a smack or two. “Fuck Princess”. Sweet Pea’s tongue danced in your mouth. “You like this Daddy”? You moved your hand down his chest to rub him through his jeans. Feeling him grow under your touch. “You know I do”. He stuck out his tongue, you sucked on it, making you both moan. Sweet Pea’s hand went to your breasts, pulling your shirt up, he pulled down your bra and attacked your nipple. “Damn, Pea”. His other hand went to unbutton your pants, he slide into your panties. His finger sliping inbetween your wet slit. Rubbing your clit with a steady pace. . “Oh fuck Pea”. You both were in the heat of the moment, you didnt see or hear Fangs open and shut the door so fast, shielding his eyes and running out like a little girl. “Shit”. You covered yourself, buttoning up your pants as Sweet Pea fixed your shirt. Your cheeks were red as blood, but you had to go out there.  Walking out people were clapping and had creepy little smiles on their faces. “You two back together now”? FP asked as the blonde sat with him. “Yeah so if any of you think you’ll be next for a dance, you’re dead wrong”. Sweet Pea yelled shaking his fist. “Hey Y/N”? FP got your attention. “What”? “You’re in trouble”. He shook his head and pointed to the blonde. He mouthed to you. “Why did you do this to me, she wont shut up”. You giggled. “Sorry, I owe you”. “Big time”. He took a sip of his beer, going back to “listening” to the blonde. Sweet Pea pulled you by the waist to him. “You ready to go home and be a good girl so we can finish what we started”? “Yes Daddy”. You kissed his lips, slightly pulling at his bottom lip, making him growl and throwing you over his shoulder, smacking your ass

[soulsxng--a]

★ fill in the questions as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse.

TAGGED BY:  @fourridersandaking

TAGGING: whoever wants to do it! I might do it with some of the other muses because it was pretty fun.

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

L: I’m Lerato.

J: JJ!

A: You can call me Aro. Why does he have to be here?

J: G-guys, you said you’d behave...

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

L: I believe I just told you...?

J: It’s Jawyr Ravi. I think I’m the only one out of the three of us with a last name.

A: Darrow. Or...in non-beast language, anyway.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? 

J: Um...it means “dauntless”, or “resolute” in Setian. My parents thought it suited me, but...I’m not so sure about that. I think it was more how they hoped I would turn out.

L: JJ...

A: *ruffles JJ’s hair* Did I ever tell you how I got my name?

J: *shakes head* I just know it’s Fae...

A: Mhm. The old witch that used to help me out before I became the Inari there named me Darrow after her old familiar...which was a cat.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

L: Single.

A: For good reason. Who in their right mind would--

L: I wouldn’t say too much more, Inari. We all know your relationship might end soon with how eager you little shifter is to throw himself into the mouths of trapped gods.

A: You fucker, talk about Lark one more time...!

J: *quickly moves between the two* Hey, enough! Don’t fight here!

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?

J: Lera and I are both death elements. Obviously he’s stronger than I am, though.

L: I suppose the other ability I’m known for is seal, rune, and ward making.

A: Yeah. We all noticed that when you attacked Ativere.

L: Oh, is that why you’re really mad at me...~?

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

L: Blue and black.

J: Amber.

A: Green.

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?

A&L: *both making faces of disgust* No way.

J: Hey, you agreed on something!

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

L: Biologically, no...

A: My older sister, Ayaka, and my niece, Smudge. I also have a...what do you all call it? A god daughter? We call her Syd.

J: It’s just me, my dad, and uncle Fei if we’re just doing by blood.

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

J: My dad has Koda, but I’m allergic to her, so I can’t spend much time with her.

L: Thaneros, though I don’t really think of him as a pet.

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

A: Him. *glares at Lera*

L: Hypocrites. *smiles coldly back at Aro*

J: *sighs, shaking his head*

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

J: Yeah! I like to go for jogs in the morning, before work. I like listening to comedy routines, and I go out with Aelia to drink and dance sometimes, too.

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

L&A: *look over at JJ*

J: Why are you looking at me? We all have...!

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?

L&A: *continue to look over at JJ*

J: Well, yeah, I’m a--

A: Outside of work.

L: They were going to die, anyway. They don’t count.

J: *long pause before finally giving a stiff little nod* Next question?

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

A: A fox. Some people say it’s hard to tell if I’m a fox or a wolf because of my coloring, but the tails should make it pretty obvious, shouldn’t it...?

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.

J: I tend to panic when I mess something up. And I take on too much at once, which...causes me to mess things up more often.

A: I’m secretive. If someone asks about me, I tend to talk, without really saying much of anything.

L: ...

A: Oh no, you better say something. You’re about as far as you get from perfect, Death Dealer.

L: Fine. I’ve been told I can become rather paranoid concerning people I care about.

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?

L: No.

A: Hmm...I looked up to Rhys, I guess. Don’t think that counts, though.

J: I look up to my dad. Well, most of the time, anyway. He does some stuff I don’t agree with.

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

J: I think Lera’s demi, and Aro’s pan. I’m bisexual.

L: You’ve had sex with Sef before, so I’ve heard.

J: Th-that’s...that wasn’t...that w-w-was for Kele, we weren’t really having sex with each other...!

A: Can’t tell if he’s turning red because he’s embarrassed or angry...~

J: Hush...! Okay, I...I guess I might be pan, I don’t know...!

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

A: None of us do.

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?

A: Technically, I already am married. 

J: But would you ever want kids with Lark?

A: ...! I-I...we haven’t really...*clears his throat, running a hand through his hair*

J: Now who’s turning red?

L: I would like both, though I’m not going to go seeking anyone out...

A: Seriously? You want a family?

L: Got a problem with that?

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?

A: I don’t know if I would call them fans, but I have a few followers, and a lot of people pray to me, so...

J: I don’t have any, no.

L: A few, but I’m not entirely sure why.

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

J: Being alone? Or...or maybe failure? I’m not really sure.

A: I’m afraid of a lot of things; it’d be hard to pick what I’m most afraid of!

L: Death. I’m an only-life, so I don’t get a reincarnation after this.

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

J: I tend to go with a more relaxed look, I guess? I have a ton of different shoes I like to wear, too.

A: Hmm...I like to look a bit dressier, I suppose?

L: I don’t really have a set style. Haven’t been back long enough to figure one out.

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

All: Yes.

J: *laughing* Oh, wait...did you mean romantically?

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?

A: I suppose JJ and I would be upper-middle? That one is a bum.

L: Hardly. Though I suppose I would be considered lower-class, since I don’t use modern currency.

J: He doesn’t really understand it, yet~

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

A: I have a lot of friends. Close friends...maybe 5 or 6?

J: Like...3?

L: What’s the point of considering someone a friend if they’re not going to be close to you...?

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?

J: It sounds really good about now...

A: Blueberry is my favorite.

J: Oooh, make it blueberry cheesecake, and I’m game.

A: Does cheesecake even count as a pie?

J: It does now!

27. FAVORITE DRINK?

J: Coffee!

A: Hmm...maybe sake? Whiskey’s good too, though. The demon brew; that stuff is amazing.

L: I agree with JJ, coffee is fantastic.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?

A: Ativere.

J: Favorite place? Uhh...home, I guess. Around my family and my friends.

L: Anywhere but the Crypts...*makes a face*

A: Obviously you need to go back there, since you didn’t learn your lesson the first damn time. *dodges aside as Lera flicks a few energy-made knives in his direction* That’s it--!

J: Hey...! I said no fighting here...!

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?

A: Of course.

J: There is someone, yeah...I don’t know if it’ll work out or not though, we’ve only been on one date.

A: That doesn’t sound like Kele. Does Jas know?

J: No, and he doesn’t need to just yet!

31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE?

L: Depends on my form. Ten inches in this form, seven in my other.

A: Eleven. Or...I don’t know, probably around nine if the knot doesn’t fit?

J: L-like six...? Seven? What’s the point of this question?

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

J: The ocean, but that’s probably just because there’s one right by where I live.

A: Probably. I prefer rivers, since I used to live close to one, but a lake is fine, too.

L: No preference, really. 

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?

L: I don’t really have one.

J: Just for sex, or for a relationship? I guess I usually have a preference for blondes...

A: Really? I’ve always been more into brunettes. I usually prefer them to be smaller than me too.

34. ANY FETISHES?

J: Knife-play is kind of nice...a-and sensory deprivation?

A: *wrinkles his nose* I feel like I didn’t need to know that about you, JJ. I’m never going to be able to look your dad in the eyes again! *Aro and JJ laugh* Anyway, biting and scenting is pretty big for me. I like people to know what’s mine.

J: Oh, and kissing! Definitely kissing.

L: Kissing? I guess I agree with that. Breath-play, hair pulling, and edging are always good, too.

A: Okay, I definitely didn’t need to know that about you...

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

A: Dominant top, usually.

L: It depends on my partner and how I’m feeling. 

A: Have you even had more than one?

L: Just because I’ve never made a habit of offering myself to anybody that looks my way like you do, doesn’t mean I’ve only had one partner.

A: *getting up, rolling up his sleeves* Fuck this, I’m going to kill him if he keeps this up.

L: Good luck with that, Inari. If you were capable of killing me, you would have done it in Ativere.

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?

J: *standing between Lera and Aro to hold them apart* Probably indoors? C-can we maybe...cut this short?

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?

A&L: Yes!