#did he sit in front of csm listening to the cadence of his voice and looking at the cloth of his suit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pennyserenade · 9 months

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saw a post that said “do you think jesus, the son of a carpenter, smelt the wood of the cross and temporarily thought of home” and i started thinking about mulder and all those little girls in paper hearts and their nightgowns and their little cherub faces so full of a life they didn’t get to live long enough. and when he found out that one little girl wasn’t samantha, he still said “it’s someone though” and it broke his heart just as if it were, because he was thinking of home—of a kid sister with a pink nightgown he couldn’t exactly recall and pigtails and wide eyed innocence who needed him just as bad as the girls in his dream. the cloth fabric of their nightgowns and the mystery of what had been in the palm of his hand might as well have been a nail that hung him up to a past he would never escape.

#misc.#but i also think this could be said about his relationship to bill mulder #did he sit in front of csm listening to the cadence of his voice and looking at the cloth of his suit #watching his smoke cigarette after cigarette and think briefly of happy summers and his father in the office #eating his sunflower seeds beneath the glow of a desk lab #did he sit in his own basement office alone feeling lost and angry and restless #and thinking of the man who raised him? of the tiredness in his eyes and the way the sunflower seeds cracked between his teeth #did he think of home ?

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