#didnt really do dirty talking (still barely do) so that explains why i described it as goofy cringe

[words-for-holland]

Happier (2) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Kate and Harrison question Y/N on why she really left Tom. Natalie and Harrison become Tom’s shoulder to cry on. Another message?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

A/N: By popular demand, Ive decided to continue Happier! Thank you for the support !

Traumatic

The only word that can describe Y/N and Tom’s experience after being apart for a whole week. The feeling where you wake up from an awful nightmare praying to never experience it again. The only difference, this was no nightmare. It was very much real.

Happiness and love were now just meaningless words for them. Days and nights can pass, but the emptiness in their hearts stayed. While Y/N had her fair share of reasons for being apart, Tom still couldnt understand. She had to have known that no matter what, Tom would always pick her. With the slightest ounce of hope, he’d text Y/N at least once a day to make sure she was okay. But each unanswered text brought a wave of disappointment.

“Hey mate...Cmon I know you’re waiting for her, but now’s not the time.” Harrison explained, his heart breaking for his best friend. “You need to give her the space she needs.”

“I just cant believe she really left me.” Tom muttered. His head hung low, hair an unruly mess, and his facial hair sprouting, but his eyes remained the same. Brown, puffy and welled up with tears. “All because of these stupid fucking rumors!” He yelled out in frustration throwing his phone at the closet. Tom sulked into the closet to grab his phone, right next to it was a small box that contained a promise he was going to make to her, had everything not gone all to shit.

“Shit...” Harrison muttered. “You were going to propose to her.” He knew Tom was bound to pop the question to Y/N, but he never thought he’d see the day that she would fall out and leave his best friend. Yet, it all seemed off. In the time he knew Y/N, she was never the one to give up, especially when it came to Tom.

“Yeah...I was going to ask on our anniversary next month. I love her...more than anything.” Tom confessed, staring at the diamond cut ring. “Before she left, she wished me happiness. Saying I’d be happier with Natalie, but i just don’t believe that.”

Harrison was about to open his mouth, when Natalie popped in their doorway, giving a small sympathetic smile. “Hey...I heard you two in the hallway. Is everything alright?” She asked.

“Mmm..Nat. I don’t think now’s the —”

“No it’s okay. She can come in.” Tom interrupted Harrison as he gestured Natalie to sit with them.

“Look. I know you’re upset by the whole thing, but you shouldn’t have to be.” She explained, her hand rubbing Tom’s for comfort. “She left you. For what? Because she couldn’t ignore a few comments about us...When there wasnt an us to begin with? She just didn’t care about you as much as you thought she did.”

“Yeah, but Natalie this is Y/N and Tom. The bond between them was supposed to be unbreakable. They’re practically soulmates.” Harrison argued. “It doesn’t mean that Y/N didnt care for him.”

“Look Im just saying if she really loved Tom with all her heart she wouldnt have left him because of me.” Natalie spoke out, flipping her dirty blonde hair to the side. She grabbed Tom’s hand again, and gently stroked soft circles. For Tom it felt good, but it wasn’t Y/N’s touch. Y/N would have traced squiggly lines on the top of his hand because it was less boring.

Harrison scoffed at her gesture. Sure he had known Natalie to be a flirt at times but never picked her to be the friend that got too friendly with another after a messy breakup. “I’ll be back. Have to make a call.” He muttered as he walked away from the most cringey and awkward situation a person has ever been in.

As Harrison made his call, Natalie scooted closer to Tom, leaning on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. “Tom...I know it hurts, but you have to believe she wasn’t right for you. There are so many girls out there that could treat you better.”

“What like you?” Tom rolled his eyes as he put the ring away.

“If you wanted me, yes I could. I’d handle your career and your personality better than anyone else. I dont want to seem forward but I always imagined you’d end up with me. Its silly but I wanted that with you, the whole romantic movie experience.” She explained, endlessy spilling out her idealistic fantasy with him.

Tom was shocked by what he heard. To him Natalie was just a friend he had known most of his life. Maybe there was one time he did have a slight crush on her but that was just it. It was an attraction and nothing more. He thought for a great deal, wondering if this was where it all went wrong. Maybe he should have listened to Y/N more. “Tom did you hear what I said?” Natalie spoke up again, this time threading her fingers on the nape of his neck.

Tom shrugged her off, as he shook his head. He couldnt do this right now, he needed to be alone. “Look lets deal with this another time. I just...I really need to run right now...alone.” Tom excused himself as he grabbed his airpods and quickly left the room. Truthfully he always hated running, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Meanwhile back in the States, Y/N still felt the affects of her heartbreak. She trudged through the New York apartment like a zombie with no purpose, waiting for someone to finish her off already. It wasn’t like she wanted to break it off, but it was the only logical solution at the time. The only problem, it built off a lifetime of regrets.

Kate watched Y/N from afar, the message she read still clouding her mind. Her best friend was terrible at keeping secrets, let alone she was always the first person Y/N would go to if she ever had one. She observed her very closely, waiting for Y/N to come to her.

Kate felt the usual vibrations of someone calling her phone. Again another unknown number? It was almost similar to the one Y/N had recieved. Maybe it was a robo-call or a psychotic fan, which if it was she’d have to talk with Tom about. A mental note she promised she would get too.

“Listen I dont know who you are, but if its the same person that sent my best friend a threatening message that she’s better off breaking up with her boyfriend...I swear to God I’ll fucking punch you in the face.” Kate threatened, her eyes glaring and fist balling up on the counter.

“Whoa...chill out. It’s me, Harrison. Im a friend of Tom’s.”

Kate looked up with surprise with a helpful pinch of embarassment and relief. “Oh. Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to know how Y/N’s holding up. I know she broke up with Tom, but something’s just not right about this. Has she told you anything?” Harrison confessed.

Kate shook her head as she continued to watch Y/N lie on the couch mindlessy scrolling through an already watched list on Netflix. “No. It’s like her soul left her body. I can barely get through to her.”

“Blimey, it’s the same with Tom. This is ridiculous, we should just get them together so they can talk about it.” Harrison groaned, thinking how stupid this all was. They could have saved each from the heartbreak and depression. “Are you sure there’s nothing she told you?”

Kate hesitated for a moment on whether she should answer. “Well... there may be one thing, but she didnt talk per say. It’s more of what I found.”

Harrison stood up, intrigued by her response. “Oh really what did you find?”.

Kate was about to answer until she hear a text go off on her phone.

Unknown:

I wouldnt say anything if I were you 😚

She squinted at the text when another popped up.

Unknown:

That is...if you want to keep your friendship with Y/N 🤫

“Uhh..it was nothing actually. Just found a wallpaper of her and Tom. She hasnt changed it since they broke up and she got a couple of messages......from Tom.” She lied haphazardly.

Harrison was confused and disappointed by her answers, knowing it led to nothing. While Kate was a great liar among all things, this wasn’t her best work. Of course it was all planned in hopes that Harrison, if he was really smart enough, could figure it out.

Harrison was not that smart, but he was a good lie detector, and that was all he needed to know something was definitely up and Natalie, although may be a good friend of his, became a prime suspect.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams

[strayficks]

EPHEMERAL 2 • JAEHYUN

Tysm for anons who had given me ideas!! and my asks is always open, feedback would be greatly appreciated ✊🥺💝

Part(s): 1 . 2 . 3

Genre: smut ✌

Pairings: bad boy!Jung Jaehyun × fem reader.

Jaehyun couldnt stop thinking about her. When Mark asked him what he was doing that night, he didnt say anything. He stayed vague and silent about it.

Maybe it’s the fact that he wants her to himself, or the fact that he always gets turned on everytime he thinks of her. Either way, Jaehyun found her interesting. When she left Jaehyun alone at the park, he watched her leave with nothing but confusion on his mind. Still, Jaehyun doesnt know her name yet.

He asked about her to Yukhei, he’s the last person Jaehyun trusted about telling things about her, but he’s the only person that knows about these things. To no avail, Yukhei doesnt recognize her. Jaehyun tried to describe her as best as possible. ‘Like.. this tall, she smokes, bold as fuck. Are you sure you dont know her?’ Jaehyun had asked Yukhei.

Yukhei stayed silent when he asked it, but when Yukhei asked him if she has her nose pierced, Jaehyun was esctatic. ‘Yeah, she’s my friend’s friend. Dont know her name. You definitely have a type, man.’ Does Jaehyun really? He had been on a couple relationships, but her? He had never met someone like her. So fascinating, so.. brave and alluring.

He cant stop thinking about her since she sucked him off at the park, sure, the sex was a bonus and all, but he’s hooked. Adamant on finding her again. But Jaehyun doesnt know what he’s going to do if he did meet her again. Probably have a nice little talk, or fuck her again until she came. The words rung in his head. ‘No’ she had said.

Jaehyun knew that was a lie the moment it came out her mouth. He rembered her legs being wobbly after he was out of her, the way her cunt tightened around his cock the same time he came. She’s a tease it seems. So when Yukhei told Jaehyun that there’s a party going on on friday, mentioning that his friend will come and the possibility that the pierced girl tag along, he was more than eager to meet her again.

“Fuck no!”

“Fuck yes! Look at yourselves.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes at your response. Your dress was the least conservative out of the group, even though it hugged every inch of your body as if it were a second skin, the girlsbdresses, however, consisted of much less fabric than yours. Ryunjin’s pink slip dress hugs her ass so well, and Jihyo’s little red number exposed so much cleavage you thought you were going to go blind if you stared too long.

Though they were barely covered, you had strange feeling that plenty of other girls at the party would be wearing much less.

The drive to the house was short, but the crowd to get into it went down the block and wrapped around the corner. There were a few cries as the the three of you entered the room. All eyes were on the three, well, mainly you and you know it. Some gazes are filled with lust and admiration, some filled with envy and jealousy. People dont affect you. In fact, their stares and whispers only made you more confident. You pulled your most charming smile, raised your chin and swayed your hips as you walked.

“I should’ve plucked your eyebrows if i knew this much people stare at you on a daily basis, Y/N.” Ryunjin snickered beside you as she nudged her shoulders with yours.

You fake a pained expression as you put a hand on your chest.

“How dare you! My eyebrows are better untouched!”

You felt Jihyo’s delicate hand squeeze your arm as she looked to a spot, a look on her face as she opened her mouth to speak.

“Fucking hell. It’s Hyunjin.”

That was when you saw him. Maybe you were hallucinating, but standing less than fifteen feet away with his arm around some random brunette and his eyes locked on you was the last person you wanted to see.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Jung Jaehyun like you hoped. You stood frozen as you watched Hwang Hyunjin shove the girl away, not noticing the dirty look you gave him in response. Even if he had noticed, he probably wouldn’t have cared. It wasn’t like he had a heart. Hyunjin had been the main reason behind your sudden change of look, your ‘bad girl’ nature.

Your one year of involvement with him had resulted in you being arrested for various crimes, nearly being expelled from yet another school, losing your virginity in the backseat of his Jeep, and ultimately getting your heart shattered when you found him sleeping with your supposed best friend. To put it lightly, Hwang Hyunjin had kind of ruined your life, and now here he was.

Dont get it wrong. You changed because you wanted to. You realized that you need to change, and you did. You turned into a butterfly and you were free without him. If you hadn’t dated him, you wouldnt be the person you are now, and somehow you were thankful. Because without him, you wouldnt be able to grow up and snap out of the fantasy that you dreamed of.

“At least i look fucking hot tonight.” You said nonchalantly, “Gonna get a drink, be right back.”

Every muscle in Jaehyun’s body seemed to relax upon entering the core of the party, realizing that maybe this was just what he needed.

Yuta noticed the change in mood and clapped a hand on his friend’s back before leading him over to get some drinks. For a long while the duo chatted and drank as they observed the guests who had made an appearance. He took a moment to admire the girls all around them, smirking as his eyes drifted over their bare limbs and glistening skin, but Yuta seemed to be too preoccupied staring at two to even notice the other girls that Jaehyun pointed out.

“Damn,” Yuta murmured. “Those two get hotter every day.”

Jaehyun laughed. “Having fantasies about the those two again, Yuta?”

“How could I not? Doesn’t every guy fantasize about having a threesome?”

“Not really my thing.” Still, he gave Yuta a hard slap on the back.

“But if it’s yours…” Yuta’s grin was brilliant in the darkness

“Hell yes it is.” Soon he was shoving his half-full drink into Jaehyun’s hand and pushing away from the bar.

“If things go according to plan, don’t expect to see me for the rest of the night.” Considering the challenge, Jaehyun expected to see his friend back here in no time. Still, he wasn’t about to sit all night.

Decision made, Jeahyun stepped away from the safety of the bar and made his way into the crowd. It took a few moments to find a decent looking girl in a midriff-baring top, but soon he was pulling her close and joining the writhing mass of movement.

Sadly, it didn’t take long before he was bored again. He gently released the girl on his arm and threaded his way through the crowd again, searching for something a little more entertaining, but the passage of another twenty minutes and a handful of girls left him disappointed.

‘Where is she?’ He muttered to himself. As if on cue, Jaehyun was startled when Yukhei’s hand landed on his shoulder.

“That girl you were looking for? She’s here. Her friends told me just now.” He said, nodding to the two girls chatting with Yuta.

Jaehyun’s heart leaped when he saw her. How he hadn’t noticed the girl before was mystery, but now he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away. She was leaning against the far wall of the room, a drink in her hand and pure boredom plastered across her face. Her dress clung to her figure in all the right places. It wasn’t until she met his gaze that Jaehyun realized how long he had been staring, still attempting to place her.

Part of him was tempted to look away and pretend like he’d never seen her, but she glanced away before he could even try. He watched as she smirked and passed her empty drink off to nearby partygoer, and had to wonder if it was him she’d been looking at in the first place.

However, those doubts quickly faded when she began moving in his direction. Jaehyun took a hesitant step forward, but even that small shift had caused him to lose her in the crowd. It didn’t help that a new group of girls had surrounded him, each pressing themselves against him in half-assed hugs. He barely avoided being snagged by one of the girls’ black talons as he turned in the opposite direction, praying he’d be able to escape them unscathed.

Unfortunately, the move caused him to bump straight into a pissed-off Hwang Hyunjin

“Watch where you’re going, asshole,” Hyunjin snarled, that hideous lip-piercing glinting under the lights. In an instant Jaehyun’s mood went from vaguely content to sour, all because this sorry excuse for a human decided to open his mouth. So instead of letting him pass, Jaehyun squared his shoulders and stood his ground.

“I think you should leave,” he said, nodding towards the exit Hyunjin’s lips twitched into a sneer.

“Excuse me?”

“Just get the fuck out the party.”

“I’m not leaving,” Hyunjin replied, hitching his chin up in defiance.

“Not until my ex-girlfriend explains why she’s h-”

“I don’t give a damn about you, Hwang,” Jaehyun finally exploded, all traces of patience fleeing.

“Either you walk out that door right now and keep your dignity, or I call the boys and have them throw you out. Your choice.”

Hyunjin’s eyes flitted to something Jaehyun’s shoulder, but he didn’t take the bait to see what had captured Hyunjin’s attention. Instead he waited until the other boy scowled and turned sharply on his heel, stalking towards the exit.

A glance to his left revealed the girl he’d been staring at earlier dancing as if no one was watching with her arms high above her head as her hips swayed to the beat. It didn’t take much to convince himself to go over to her, hoping she could make his night better.

A few steps brought Jaehyun up behind her and he settled a hand on her waist, letting the other drift down to her hips. The girl glanced over her shoulder, offering Jaehyun a slow, unsurprised smile that made his stomach twist into knots.

“You showed him,” she teased, obviously referring to his run in with Hyunjin, her head falling back onto his shoulder He could smell the alcohol on her breath, but her softly drawled words brought a smile to his lips

“You came, you never told me you knew Yukhei.” he murmured, pulling her closer as the heavy bass line resounded in his chest.

Her response caused him to flirt with the notion that this could be Hyunjin’s ex-girlfriend, but the fact that her hips were now grinding against his own made any other concern that didn’t involve getting her into bed disappeared. Jaehyun lost track of time while they dancing.

The music was good, company, and the fact that they’d hardly exchanged any words was even better. The passage of what seemed like an eternity had brought and now jaehyun was finding it hard to move without stumbling or bumping into a neighboring person.

But seemed like the girl having the same problem. He was practically the only thing keeping her from going down in those heels, his arm wrapped possessively around her waist as her hips pressed hard against his.

“Come home with me,” Jaehyun whispered against her ear, hands sliding down her hips. The girl leaned back just enough to meet his eye.

“Why should I?”

“Because you want this as much as I do- and i want to make you cum.”

His hands were on her thighs now, fingers inching up under the material of her dress. It only took her a moment, but she grabbed his hand and smiled, taking a shaky step backward as she tugged on his hand.

“Then let’s go.” Hand in hand they stumbled out of the house and onto the sidewalk, her giggles echoing down the busy street.

When she realized she had no idea where she was going, Jaehyun took the lead and guided her another block or so down the street to the dormitory. Jaehyun felt her hand slip out of his once they were alone, before he even thought to question it, her mouth was on his and there was no more time for words. A shiver rolled down his spine as she pressed herself against him. The door slammed shut with enough force to shake the room as they staggered towards the bed, his fingers finally managing to snag the minuscule zipper of her dress and yank it down, though much to his chagrin it didn’t instantly pool at her feet.

Her throaty chuckle made it obvious that she was well aware of his annoyance, and the fact that she was doing nothing to help him out only made it worse.

Before he could even think to voice his displeasure, her lips were on his and they were suddenly falling onto the bed, soft pillows absorbing the shock of the fall.

Even though the actual impact hadn’t hurt, something sharp had scraped his cheek, and Jaehyun turned his head to break the kiss, swatting her hands away, he reached up to touch the small cut on his face, startled when he drew back to find blood on his fingers.

His eyes darted up to the girl straddling him, but her gaze was trained on the red-specked spiked ring on her finger. It took her a moment to put two and two together, but a sheepish grin spread over her face when she realized her jewelry had been the culprit.

“Sorry,” she murmured insincerely, slipping the ring off her finger and tossing it to the side as if it were a mere toy.

“Let me make it up to you.”

You met Jaehyun again. You were surprised but surely not disappointed. You chuckle to yourself, remembering Hyunjin’s face after he was kicked out by Jaehyun. You slid your bra off and exposed your breasts to him, you felt him slowly slide his hands up your waist, sending shivers through your body, until his hands cupped both your mounds. His eyes were completely trained on your peaks, watching them like they were more valuable than anything in the world.

“So you know Yukhei?” Without replying to your question, he leaned in and sucked one nipple into his mouth, causing you to gasp and arch your back. He flicked his tongue slowly against it, torturing you

“God,” you moaned, curling your toes when his teeth taunted your hard nipple, sharply biting into it, causing a zing of delicious pain to shoot through you.

“Ah, Jae..”

The flick of his tongue and the squeeze of his palm made moisture flow to your core and soak your already soaking panties. Beneath you, you could feel his erection growing, pressing against said core, almost as if it knew where it wanted to go all by itself. The suspense was killing you.

“Jaehyun,” you moaned again when he switched to your other breast, giving it the same amount of attention with his and teeth. Finally pulling away from you, kneeling above you as Jaehyun looked down at your underwear.

“Fuck, youre gorgeous,” He noted in a deep, aroused voice. His eyes lustfully trailed over your figure, your skin, down to the spot between your legs. You felt scorched.

“But I think I’m going to need to take it off you.”

“Only if you take off those, too,” you rebuffed and eyed his briefs where behind the cotton. You could see a very large bulge making a tent out of the fabric.

“Fair trade,” He said and then split his mouth into a panty dissolving smirk, before he begun tugging at his briefs.

You begun working on your panties as well, but had to stop when he stepped off the bed to discard his briefs, allowing your full view of his-ahem ‘Cock.’ Heart beating rapidly, you couldn’t help but stare. He was thick and gloriously erect, the head of him glistening with precum.

The heavy sac underneath was what thoroughly finished him off as being the biggest you had ever seen, you havent taken a good look when you first had sex with him at the park, but seeing him now, damn, He has such a beautiful cock.

You deftly stepped out of your panties and then walked up to Jaehyun again. You were now completely naked. His hands came around your legs and smoothed their way up to the rounds of your ass.

He cupped your butt like two delicious, juicy fruits and then squeezed them hard, causing a moan to rip from your throat. You grasped onto his shoulders for support and then let out a startled squeak when he ceased you and hurled you around on the bed. You landed flat on her back, and not one moment later, Jaehyun was on you.

“Jae, oh shit!” You gasped and then cried out a moan when he parted your legs and buried his face in your cunt.

A small scream rippled from your throat and you desperately clutched onto his shoulders as Jaehyun pushed his tongue into your core and made your stomach pool with heat. All your nerve endings seemed to meet when he moved up to your clit and flicked the sensitive bud before sucking it into his mouth, rolling it in between his teeth.

He lapped up all your juices while all you could do was writhe, scream, and pray that the sex-gods would show you mercy tonight, because this is going to be a wild one.

He suddenly flung your legs over his broad shoulders as you hazily opened your eyes from the ecstacy. The sound of the foil being ripped can be heard as he positioned himself in front of your entrance.

“You said you didnt cum? I wont hold back this time.” He stated. automatically cinching hips. His mouth found yours again, dominating you once more. She gripped onto his shoulders, dragging your fingers up through his hair.

And then in a wild thrust, he was inside you. You cried out, Jaehyun ramming into you hard and repeatedly. You hung onto him, your lips parting in hitched breaths. You clawed your nails down his chest, just like his teeth bit into your neck.

“Fuck, Jaehyun!” You hollered, throwing your head back, you couldn’t control your movements. He was hitting you so good, exploding stars started decorating your vision.

He felt so deep and so perfectly, long and thick inside you.His aggressiveness had you pining for him. Hard was the only way you wanted it. For now, anyway. Both your mouths found each other again and Jaehyun savored every part of you, the fast, furious strokes of his cock inside you quick. You could feel herself get close, you manage to corak out, letting him know what he’s doing to you.

“Jae… fuck, almost there, yes, oh fuck, yeeeees!” Jaehyun pounded into you grunting while you dipped your head deeper into his bed. Even then, high, pitchy sounds kept coming out of your mouth in short breaths as he fucked you into oblivion.

His fingers drilled into you breast, leaving more bruises as his hips and strokes finally pushed him over the edge well, joining you in your climax, his bldy going rigid as you felt the muted splurts of his cum inside you.

“Hey…maybe we can go get coffee sometime?” he offered, simply just trying to catch his breath. Sweat and bite marks covered both your bodies, scratches down Jaehyun’s back as well.

“I have to get back to my friends, they’re probably looking for me.” You said gruffly, an excuse just flung put of your mouth. Picking up your discarded clothing on the floor. Your voice was unattached, like you wanted it.

“Wait- at least tell me your name.” You pulled away from him, forcing him to let go of you. You then quickly put on your bra and dress, palming you panties in your hand while Jaehyun simply just stood there, trying to comprehend what just happened. You then ran a hand through your hair, straightening it, not regarding him with a look, for some reason. You looked like you were going to leave without saying anything at all. Jaehyun frowned.

“Wha- why…” The words froze on his tongue when your eyes met his. You quickly gave your panties to his open palm, covering it with yours as he grasped it tightly, a coy smirk on his plumb lips, the scratch on his cheek still apparent.

“It’s Y/N, I’ll see you around.” And then you stepped around him and slipped out of the room. Closing the door behind you.

[showstopping-prince]

Grass suggested that I write down what I'd been experiencing, and it's been far too long since I took even a moment of time for myself. My magic has always been a mystery to me. Most all my life anyone I've talked to have said it was mere happenstance, that's why I'm a wild mage, that's simply wild magic. But it's more then that. I've always known it's more then that and I think I'm finally discovering what it is. It all started when I let grass into my body to summon and earth elemental to retrieve its heart. The instant he put my hand on it I was ripped from my body and taken... somewhere. I'm still not entire sure exactly where it is, but it feels like the center of everything. The very core of this plane. A dark room filled with crystalline colored doors with symbols, correlating to what I now can assume are the elemental plans, or some where far older and deeper. On my first time there after touching the heart I was a bit in shock i didnt move with much purpose other then finding out where i was, how and why. The door to what I assume was the plane of earth was cracked open and i stepped in not thinking much of it and seeing no other way out. Upon entering i was overwhelmed with the physical sensation of a sandstorm and a deep weighted pressure on my body, it simply felt jagged and hard, hot and cold at the same time. I've read about the elemental planes but this felt different then what was described. I've also been to the plane of water, at least part of it, and the sensation was nothing like this, leading me to believe it was more. The ground began to shift under me and I jumped back and found myself back in the dark room with the door shut in front of me.

I figured I should try another to see if I could find an exit and found myself drawn to the indigo door. Opening it and pushing onwards I found myself, deep underwater, with that same pressure weighing on me as before, but yet it felt like I was under heavy rainfall despite being submerged. Water filled my lungs but it didnt effect me at all. It was fully dark and as soon as I called out, a pair of burning indigo eyes open and I was thrust back into my body lying on the ground in an instant.

It felt exhilarating. I cant explain it any other way but being in that place made me feel... something? At the time I wasn't sure if it was good or bad but I now know I'm connected to this place somehow. Though I have no concrete proof, I feel it with my whole being that I had a place there. Continuing on with the days I eventually found that I could now understand primordial. It came somewhat slowly, but I could mostly understand the foreign language as if I had always known it. We eventually found the cone of power, it really needs a better name. All these relics do. That aside I'm not sure if the relic has some sort of pull to it, or it was simply my mages instincts that draw me to it, but I find its possibilities both frightening and boundless.

I dont even know how to begin to describe what followed made me feel. We were summoned across time and space to the dimension of Zaun, forced to participate in a sick game show for the entertainment of a being that called himself Mr. Dazzel. Through our time there we found the missing guide Masato, and even that basterd Hukko. Though after meeting him I can switch his name out with "those bitch ass pixies in the world plans" on my hit list. They had filed on us, and mine read "mislabled/unknown" on my fighting classification. I was confused at the time but now its beginning to make more sense now. With the help of Jellinda we were able to try and escape, ending with a confrontation with that dazzling whore. We won, obviously, and surprisingly thanks to Mr. Gray further adding to his infuriating mystery, and thanks to the cone we were able to all return home before the plane itself collapsed.

I recognized the face Jellinda made when arrived back on the material plane. Lost, broken, confused, and at the same time, numb. I wonder if this is how eglantine felt when she came across me long ago. I didnt have to wonder what it was like to have your entire life uprooted and destroyed in a second. It's happened to me more times then I can count, and I will see to it that shes taken care of properly.

Too much all happened at once. It always has, but especially now. I've rolled with the punches as best I can until now, i thought that i bared some sort of responsibility in all of this, but that's just the problem. We dont know what /this/ is hardly at all, and we've been traveling with MONTHS and still have no answers, and the others seem to just be okay with this? "When have we ever had a plan?" Chops said to me, and hes right. And I'm starting to think that my time with them has run its course, not that it ever seemed to have one. Then theres the added business of what to do with the damn cone. Apprently they would rather give the thing to another leader in a position of power, as if grey wasn't able to manipulate multiple city states to the brink of ruin with them already, but of course they all /trust/ agrafex as if hes not as easily swayed just because hes a dragon. Of course it's not safe to have with us but I would rather be the one to hold the weapon of mass destruction then a potential enemy, maybe I could even learn how to use it to help us, but at this point I want nothing to do with this mess anymore.

I'm so sick and tired putting my own feelings and my own life aside and on the line for what I thought was the greater good, but theres no point anymore. There never was. This entire journey has been a waste of time and the others dont have lives to live or people that care for them. They have no homes to return to, no lost loves to find, but I do, and this mess has wasted enough of my time. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to go back to the way things were. My carrier seems so trivial and far away now but it mattered to me, and it was something I had to sacrifice to bring about change. The infamy of what we did in galamond fell souly on my shoulders, weather they relize it or not, I was the one with the reputation to lose. Everyone has an opinion of me now, good and bad. The rumors of what we did and speculation of what happened ran rampant , and I could even exit the castle in our last month there without getting dirty or fearful looks. Not that they would understand even if I were to tell them. High and mighty as they are.

And yet as much as I yern for Galamond I yearn for my home with Miguel more then anything... not a day goes by that I dont think of his face or crave his touch, and I have been a fool to think I was doing the right thing by setting that aside. Fond as I may be for my friends the next chance I get I'm going to find him and I'm going to save him no matter the cost. No matter what power I will have to steal or tap into. I would blacken my soul and tear down the sky if it meant saving him. And I will.

[whitegirlconfessions]

My first time (Blacked)

(Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect the naughty)

They always say you will remember your firsts. Your first kiss, your first date, your first boyfriend, your first time. What they never tell you is you’ll always remember the first time you were blacked. Nobody prepared me for this. Nobody warned me of the long lasting effects from it. In fact, I was always told that it was something that should never be done. Before I get into my first time. Let me give you some background about myself.

I was born in a small Southern town. Like in most southern states, there were plenty of black people around. Some nice people, some..not so much. When you’re young you don’t see thing in certain ways. As you get older though things become clearer.  I was a good girl growing up. My parents southern princess. A cute dirty blonde haired girl that loved dresses, boots, horses, camping and being outdoors. All my friends were white in school. Its not that I was racist, I didn’t know what racism really was. It just seemed that I had more in common with white kids. I was a Southern Baptist, showed up early for Sunday school. Everyone in our church was white, most of the people my age were fellow classmates at my school. We just all blended well. There were quite a few black kids in my school. I wasn’t mean or rude to them. Id talk, laugh, cut up and be friendly but we just weren’t friends. Why? I don’t know. Nothing was wrong with any of them. They were really nice kids. Not trouble makers or thugs. Fast forwarding as I grew up my looks and body developed more and I started getting more attention from guys both white and black guys. I never dated a black guy before. My parents would lose their lid. My parents are good people. They will do anything for you, regardless of color. Ive seen them help white people, hispanic people and yes even black people in times of needs. However there was just something that made them say no when it came to their white daughter. The “N word” was dropped a few times in my house by my parents. It never seemed to be directed towards any certain individual but maybe seeing something on TV would spark the reaction. I have to admit, I have said the word myself. So with all the attraction of course I dated a few boys throughout Jr High and into high school. All of this is really irrelevant because I know what you’re all reading for. So lets just jump ahead....

The night it happened I had been dating my boyfriend at the time (Tommy) for about 7 months. He was truly a nice guy but also still a hormone filled teenage boy. He was 17 and I was 16. I had had sex with 2 other boys previously. Tommy knew, maybe thats why he liked me...maybe not..I dont really know. He never made any hints or advancements about sex until about 6 months into dating. I liked Tommy. He was a really cute boy and came from a really great family but I had felt so heart broken after being with the past two boys that I was just scared to be with anyone again. Tommy started to get more persistent about getting together and I just had to keep telling him no. 

One Friday night after a football game we were invited over to a classmates house. Their parents were out of town for the weekend so they were going to throw a little party. Tommy & I showed up a little later then everyone else. After the game we stopped and had a late dinner and then made phone calls giving our parents excuses as to why we wouldn’t be home. I had changed from my jeans into a skirt & heels that I had hidden in Tommy’s car (I liked to dress mature for dates but my parents usually made me change before going out so we had to hide clothes for me to wear haha). While at the party Tommy brought up now would be a good time for us to hook up for the first time. We had a way to be alone and could slip away easily into one of the bedrooms. I still stood firm on my stance. I “loved” Tommy but I just didnt want to do that again. We got into a little argument and just decided to walk away from each other for a little bit. He went to hang out with some of his friends and I went with some of mine. After a little while Tommy approached me again and asked me to go upstairs with him. I asked him why and he said “because I want you...everyone else you’ve dated has had you...I want you too”....I was stunned when he said this. At the time he said this I didnt know if he meant it the way I was taking it. Did my boyfriend just call me a whore? Taken aback I tried to explain to him that I wanted to be with him and I didnt care about the other guys any more but I just wasnt ready yet. The time will come and when it does he will be the first one to know and that it will all be worth the wait. Then he said something that broke my heart. “You’ll spread your legs for everyone else but seem to have no problems keeping them closed for a guy who’s good to you.” As the tears started to roll down my cheeks, he just walked away from me and eventually left the party. I was totally crushed as I tried to casually find my way to somewhere private where I could crawl up in a ball and just die. 

I ended up in one of the bedrooms closets. It was a small walk in but private enough where I would be alone. I guess my sobbing was louder then I expected as I was heard from the hallway by another boy from school. Marcus was 18, a senior. Tall athletic type. He wasnt a typical jock. He was a really nice guy to everyone and was a really good student. He was the type of guy who you wanted to take home to your parents....if your parents were ok with you bringing home a black guy. Marcus found me sitting in the floor and sat down with me. He asked me what was wrong and after telling him I didnt want to talk about it he eventually broke me and I reluctantly started telling him the story. I knew who Marcus was but I probably havent said 5 words to him in school. Seniors just never seemed to talk much to underclassmen. After telling him everything, Marcus slid over closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer against him. He told me there’s nothing he could say or do to make me feel better but it never hurts to just have someone there while you cried. I leaned against his shoulder/chest for what seemed like forever crying and crying until i couldnt breath. Once my tears dried up a bit Marcus started joking with me and making me laugh. It was a nice feeling going from my world crashing to being able to laugh. As I leaned up to wipe the rest of the tears away I made the comment about looking like a raccoon from my make up. Marcus reached over wiping around my eyes cleaning them up the best he could with his thumb and looked me in the eyes and told me that I was beautiful. My heart fluttered. I just went from a boy I loved telling me I was a whore to a guy I barely knew telling me I was beautiful. The compliments he gave me were so flattering. I couldnt believe this handsome black athlete was spending his party time in a closet with a crying wreck of a white girl. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and told him thank you for everything tonight. I left the closet to go find Tommy and eventually discovered he had left. This night was just getting better. My bf calls me a whore and then leaves me at a party with no ride. I was ready to go home but nobody else was leaving and I didnt want to make anyone else take me. After walking around for a bit I decided I just wanted to be alone and I would just go back to that closet and crash until morning. I went back upstairs and opened the closet door. When I did Marcus was still sitting in the floor. I looked at him confused and he smiled and looked up at me. I asked him laughing why he was still sitting in the closet alone. He smiled and told me that it still smelled like me and he liked the way I smelled. I cant describe what it was I felt but I just knelt down beside him, leaned in with my hand on his face and kissed him on the lips. I couldnt believe it as it was happening but I was kissing my first black guy. I had never had any desires to do this before but this guy was treating me how I wanted my boyfriend to treat me. I felt Marcus hands move to my waist as he pulled me away. He looked up and asked me why I did that. I told him because I wanted to and I leaned back in and kissed him again. He again broke my kiss. He smiled at me and gave me more compliments but told me that if I wasnt ready to sleep with my boyfriend then why was I coming on to him. His hands never left my hips as I could feel his fingers reluctantly squeezing my body. I smiled at him and told him that sex with Tommy is suppose to be meaningful. I wanted it to be special and important. He gave me a laugh and asked, “so whats sex with me suppose to be?”...After a brief pause and gave him a smile and said “fun?”.... Looking back I it doesnt make sense why you would have meaningless sex with a guy you dont really know but wont with your boyfriend but when your emotions are a wreck. You make decisions you could regret later on. This wasnt one of them.

Marcus pulled me on top of him as I positioned myself and straddled his lap. His hands explored my body as I kissed him almost lovingly. Each time his fingers found a new spot he would squeeze my body and I would moan into his mouth. My skirt was hiked up and bunched around my hips so I could straddle him. My thong still tucked tightly up my ass. His hands moved up to take my shirt. Breaking our kiss just long enough for my top to go over my head before our lips were together again. I was almost a C cup at 16 so I had a nice chest on me. As our kiss grew longer I felt his hands run slowly up my back and with ease my bra was unclasped. I had to laugh to myself in my head. All the boys that have struggled taking my bra off and this guy just did it with ease. Like he knew his way around the female body. 

He pushed me away a bit as my perky young breasts were freed. He leaned in with his mouth and began sucking gently on my nipples. His hands were all over my body and his mouth was sucking and licking on my nipples. He made them so hard and erect. I was getting so turned on. I looked down and saw his dark lips on my white breasts and a fire was turned on inside of me. Before switching to my other nipple I took the break to reach down and help him out of his shirt...oh my God this man was an adonis. He wasnt like overly huge and muscular but he was just toned and fit. He smiled at me as I ran my fingers over his chest and arms. He was such a specimen. My fingers traced along his body as they rippled over his abs. He laughed as I smiled and asked me what was wrong? I shook my head and told him I had never been with a boy like him before. He laughed and asked “you mean fit?” and I nodded replying “yes....and black”. I reached down and started to undo his belt and he grabbed my hands to stop me. I looked at him confused as he smiled and said “you first”. I quickly got to my feet, pushing my bunched up skirt down my legs. I could see his eyes all over me and they locked right to the lace of my thong. My fingers hooked the waist as I slowly pulled them down before stepping out of them. Standing naked in front of Marcus he took me in as he brought me back down on the floor with him. Laying me on my back as he moved to my feet, looking down at me smiling. I couldnt believe what I was doing but my legs parted for him, exposing myself t him. Sure I had sex before, 2 guys maybe 5 times total...but I still had a great looking tight little pussy. Not to brag but I knew what was between my legs was something special when I heard Marcus let out a sigh of pleasure. He started to lean down between my thighs but my hand stopped him. Not yet I told him as I raised up and my hands found his belt. Pulling it loose as I looked up at him smiling. A smirk on his face as he said “You really never been with a black guy?”.....I smiled shaking my head and told him no as I unfastened his jeans, unzipping the fly and slipping my hand inside. 

As soon as my fingers felt it my head snapped up and looked at him. “OH FUCK” I said as he started to laugh. I pulled and pulled until this thick piece of meat was hanging out of the fly of his jeans. I stared in awe at the size of this thing. Dont get me wrong, he wasnt a porn start but semi hard he was already bigger then all my boyfriends..including Tommy. What absolutely amazed me was the thickness of this thing. I wrapped my fingers around it to give it a gentle tug and my fingers wouldnt even touch. He worked his jeans off as he stayed on his knees. I completely forgot about him wanting to go down on me as I adjusted myself onto my hands and knees and leaned down and wrapped my lips around him. I felt his cock start to grow as my tongue made contact with it. His hand found its way to the back of my head. Pulling my dirty blonde hair back from my face as he let out a moan. My lips started moved up and down his long thick black cock. Each time I went down he would let out a moan. I had never given a blowjob with my eyes open before, I know that might sound strange however I couldnt not look and watch. I loved seeing my pink lips slide down his black shaft. Every time I watched it disappear into my mouth I could feel him throb as well as feel my panties soaking wet and clinging to me. My head bobbed slow...and then fast. Working as much of his cock as I could. Id twist my mouth around and get a glimpse of his big, low hanging balls. Ive always heard the racist terms describing black men. Greasy, smelly whatever....but none of them ever described this. This was heaven...this was DELICIOUS! I bobbed my head faster, making sure my tongue found that thick vein on his underside. I worked his cock lovingly. I could feel him throbbing inside my mouth. Each slurp made his swinging balls tighter and tighter. When his balls stopped swinging and hanging and that sack was nice and tight...I knew he was ready. My mouth slide up around the head as i sucked just the head nice and slow. I felt his fingers tightly grip on my head and heard him say I was about to make him cum. Without warning I felt that hot black shoot from his cock and onto the top of my mouth. Then another and another. His cock throbbed each time he shot a load into my mouth. My mouth quickly filled and I started swallowing his thick load. He was just like I imagined. His cum was delicious. He tasted amazing. Was his because he was black? Was it his diet? Who cares!?!  I wanted to feed from his love pipe for the rest of my life!

I finished him off, or so I thought in my mouth and raised up onto my knees with him. Smiling as I wiped his mouth getting his approval. I told him that was the most delicious blowjob Ive ever given. I told him I hated swallowing because it just taste so salty but he tasted so good. Thats when I realized I had ruined this whole thing. I made him cum and cum hard and a lot. I apologized telling him I was sorry. He was confused asking me what i was apologizing for. I said “I know you wanted to have sex with me but I made you cum”....he laughed and said “so?” I never had anyone cum before and could still keep going but before I could explain that I thought we were finished I looked down and his saliva shined black cock was still rock hard, sticking out towards me with a long string of cum dangling from the head. Seeing him ready for me again I felt like the odds were against me. You dont have a condom do you? I never bought condoms before. I always left it up for the guy but I dont think he was planning on having sex tonight. He shook his head and told me no, asking if he really needed one. I looked down at his cock. I had never been taken bareback before. Mainly because I wasnt on birth control but I wanted this. I shook my head no and began to turn around on my hands and knees. Positioning myself for him as I looked back over my shoulder and told him to not cum inside of me. He positioned himself behind me, smiling as he slapping his cock against my wet pussy lips. I waited for him to agree but he never did. Instead he slid his cock nice and slow into me. Parting my tight pussy lips his thick black cock suck into me like perfection. Its like his cock was perfectly sculpted to fit inside of my white pussy.

I felt his hand slide around my hips. His fingers hooked my hip bones as he began to pull me back to him while thrusting forward. My head sank into my hands as I leaned on my elbows. It was long before my moans were loudly filling the closet. Marcus wasnt like any other boy I had been with before. Not just physically either. Marcus knew what he was doing and my body responded. With each thrust, each squeeze. Everything he did my body reacted to. If there was a pace that needed to be set, he set it. If there was a spot that needed to be hit, he hit it. Before I knew it a screaming groan filled the closet as I exploded all over him. My God this guy made me cum in the matter of minutes. Im so use to the poor stroke game of white boys that I have to play with my clit and hope I get off before they do. Here I am cumming like never before on this black guys cock and he just tightens his grip and fucks me through it. One of his hands found its way to my long dirty blonde hair. Wrapping it around his fist as he pulled my head back and fucked me harder. “How do you like it?” he asked me. I told him I loved it...He smacked my ass hard and said “no, how do you like to be fucked?”.....I never had anyone ask me that before. Sex was always so vanilla and boring. Suck his dick till its hard, lay back, spread legs and lay there till he cums. His hand again came across my ass. He wanted an answer. The only thing I could think of was Tommy calling me a whore. I blurted back out to him, “fuck me like a whore” ....his hand again smacked my ass “fuck you like Tommys whore?” he asked...my pussy was throbbing I was going to cum again on his cock. “Im your whore...fuck me like Im your whore”

He pushed my head down into a pile of clothes in the floor. Forcing my back into the “perfect arch”...He held my head down and pounded my tight little pussy from behind until my legs started shaking and I exploded again cumming all over his cock. Squealing with pleasure, never having a 2nd orgasm before in my life. His cock just keep pumping my pussy. With each thrust I could feel my juices running down my thighs. i adjusted my head the best I could to look back under me and between my legs. My thighs were slick and shiny. Every time his cock thrust in you could see a stream of pussy juice run down my legs. My pussy had room for only one thing...Marcus. I watched in awe and ecstasy as his cock thrust in and out of my pussy. His balls slapping up onto my clit. He was easily twice the size of the two boys I had been with and I was able to take every inch of him. 

It wasnt long before I was cumming for a third time. I had never cum 3 times in a night...I dont think I had cum 3 times in 3 days before. He was fucking me like a whore and I was loving it. Ive never cum so hard. Im pretty sure I had to bring eyes back as they were starting to roll in the back of my head. When I looked down again I could see his balls tightening again. I could still taste him in my mouth. He heard me tell him to pull out right? He’s going to get close and pull out and cum in my mouth again and I can swallow it once more. I felt his fingers digging deeper into me. His strokes long, deep and powerful but slowing down. I look at his balls again and they’re not moving. His sack is hugging them tight and I look back over my shoulder and see him looking at me, he’s there....and he’s not leaving. I cant stop him...I wont stop him...I dont want him to stop. I look him in the eyes...he’s ready and I tell him “cum inside me!” The room is filled with his groan, quickly followed by my moans as I feel his big black cock exploding inside of me. I can feel spurt after spurt inside me. He buries himself as deep as he can, using me to drain his balls. There wont be a 3rd round. He’s emptying his sack inside me. Im taking every drop. He pulls back and gives a few more thrusts releasing the last few drops. Finishing himself off inside of me. 

I crash to the floor on my stomach. He falls on top of me. His cock buried in my pussy as we both pant heavily gasping for breaths. Im in heaven. For meaningless sex nothing has ever felt better physically or emotionally then this. I feel his cock slowly retracting from me until he slides out. I feel him gush out of me. I filled...Im filled full! Marcus pulls my hair to the side, kissing me behind the ear and says “you’ll take care of that right?” Take care of it I think to myself, Im 16...you just shot the biggest load in the history of mankind into my pussy. Im not on birth control. Im going to get pregnant...with a BLACK baby. My parents will disown me. My church isnt going to let me back in the doors...Im ruined!....but my body nor mouth can connect the thoughts in my head. I simply nod and moan out “yes” to him. He uses my thigh to clean his cock, stands up dressing himself leaning down kissing me on the back of the head one final time and leaves me laying in the middle of the closet floor. I wasnt committed to black men just yet. This was my first. Are they all like this? If so then Tommy was right. I am a whore. Im a whore for black men.

I fell asleep in the floor. I woke up a mess. Pulling my thighs apart looked like a grilled cheese made with swiss chees...how’s that for an image? I found a towel in the nearby bathroom and wiped myself as clean as possible. I still had 2 problem. I needed a ride home....and I needed to take care of what Marcus just did. I texted Tommy and apologized for our fight. I told him i was wrong and he was right. Maybe I was a whore but if I was going to sleep with my other boyfriends then I should sleep with him too. I knew this is what he wanted to hear. I told him I was still at the party and didnt have a way home. If he would come get me, he could have me. I asked how much money he had on him and he asked if I wanted him to stop and get condoms first. I told him no, I wanted him to enjoy me like he should have. I was going to take him bare and let him cum inside of me....only if he promised to get the morning after pill for me. Without hesitation, Tommy agreed. Tommy picked me up about 45mins later. We went back to his parents house (who were gone). I told him how horny I was as he wasted no time getting me into his bedroom. His dick was so hard I didnt need to give him a blowjob to get him ready. Once my clothes were off he was 5 inches into me pounding away. This wasnt exciting me at all. This was awful. If it wasnt for Marcus still inside of me, my pussy would be as dry as sand right not for Tommy...But he loved it. Less then 10mins Tommy was done. Laying on his back gasping mumbling about how great it was. It was hard to pretend to have enjoyed it but I put on a good act until I got him dressed again and out the door. Tommy took me to the pharmacy and paid for my morning after pill. He watched me take it saying “I dont want to get you pregnant”...I couldnt help but to reply “I dont want you to get me pregnant either”....he didnt get it obviously. 

I learned so much in that 24 hours. I discovered Tommy was a complete tool, black men are amazing in bed...or closet floors. I also learned that you can easily sucker a white boy into doing anything for you with the promise of pussy.

I broke up with Tommy 3 days later. Im 18 now and Ive yet to have sex with a white boy since that day. Believe me, you all will soon learn all about my adventures!