#dissonance go WHEEEE

[jawhole]

rust cohle for a guy who sees no point in existence you sure serve cunt an awful lot

[madeofsplinters]

Playlist Notes: “Strike Me Down; I Am Unarmed”

Continuing my series - I’m gonna write “liner notes” for all my fic playlists eventually.

Listen along: [Spotify | YouTube]

Fic for this playlist is “Strike Me Down; I Am Unarmed” on AO3. If you haven’t read the fic, be aware this does not work as a general character playlist for Vader or Tarkin (or Daala, who also gets a few songs); it’s specifically a playlist describing the events of this particular AU fic.

Halestorm - The Reckoning

You made a mess outta me Where do I begin? You'll pay for your sins

We don't ever see Vader killing Palpatine onscreen in this story, but this story is all about Vader having killed Palpatine, so I couldn't resist starting with my favorite Revenge Song...

Billie Eilish - bellyache

My V is for Vendetta Thought that I'd feel better

The story actually begins with Vader waking up in his tank, beginning to recover from the injuries he sustained mid-revenge. His triumph hasn't fully sunk in, and he's confused, ill, and generally a mess. Wasn’t this big, dramatic revenge supposed to solve everything?

Billie Eilish - you should see me in a crown

Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one

It's a total gimme! It's on everyone and their dog's villain playlist already! Am I putting it on my villain playlist anyway? Heck YES. (In my original brainstorming notes for this story, when it talks about Tarkin having to wear Imperial robes now instead of his military uniform, it literally just says "you should see me in a crown dot gif")

Poppy - Fill the Crown

You can be anyone you want to be You can be free, you can be free

This is the song for the earlier chapters of the story, where Vader is blundering around trying to figure out how to be Emperor, while knowing in the back of his mind that Emperor and Sith Master is not actually what he wants to be. The sheer cognitive dissonance of this song is lovely - one voice promising a bright, happy future, much like Tarkin's optimistic view of what's in store for Vader now, while the other one meanders in and out promising atrocities and pain.

DIAMANTE - Sleepwalking

I feel you in my dreams You're everywhere, you won't go easily

Vader, dreaming of Palpatine's ghost.

laye - likefck

Wantin' you is evil When it's hard to have you here

This song is about the loneliness of a long-distance relationship with a wealthy, powerful, neglectful man. I heard it at just the right (wrong?) time, so now it's Daala's song, while she’s exiled to the Maw Cluster and waiting for a word from Tarkin. (But of course, in this fic, she isn't going to stay there...)

Icon For Hire - Supposed to Be

I fear now There's not much left of me When you take the sick away Who am I supposed to be?

The sheer dissonance of Vader trying to be Emperor inevitably leads to a mental breakdown. Now that Palpatine is gone, the natural impulse is to recover somehow from the things Palpatine did to him. But when evil and sickness are as thoroughly baked into someone's life as they are into Vader's, what does recovery even look like? Where do you begin?

Evanescence - Imperfection

I'm gonna save you from it Together we'll outrun it Just don't give into the fear

Tarkin comforting Vader during his mental breakdown, promising they'll fight the ghost that haunts him together. This song is probably too effusive and out of character for Tarkin but I just love it so much. (Spotify informs me that it was my #1 most-listened-to song during the hellyear of 2020.) That little growl on the "don't you dare surrender" in the last chorus. Fuck yes. Fave.

Beth Crowley - Empire

So fear me or love me It's all the same

This song was supposed to be about Game of Thrones, but too bad, it's mine now and it's Tarkin's song (as he sorts through Palpatine's effects and resolves to be an even better Emperor than his predecessor.)

Little Mix - Monster In Me

Why don't we kill each other slowly? What can I say? Baby, what can I do? The monster in me loves the monster in you

Most of these songs give a particular character's perspective at a particular time, but this one is the theme song of the whole, sad, evil polycule. <3

Halsey - Strange Love

And everybody wants to know 'bout how it felt to hear you scream They know you walk like you're a god, they can't believe I made you weak

This song works pretty well for Daala processing some thoughts about Tarkin, the secrecy and scandal and power imbalance of their relationship now that it's become something they can talk about in public, and what she does or doesn't owe to anyone involved.

DIAMANTE - Ghost Myself

If I could build a fire and burn down my life That would be the one thing I got right

Vader's suicidal ideation, set to a catchy beat. ("Ghost," used as a verb here, is already suppoesd to be a pun but considering the role of Palpatine's ghost in this story, it's now a triple entendre. Wheeee.)

In This Moment - The Beginning - Interlude

I am the moon and the sun that you bask in I am the name written on your grave

Just a creepy little overture as the characters approach Exegol and prepare to deal with whatever spooky Sith Ghost bullshit they find there. Vader’s ghost, whispering to him.

Delain - Masters of Destiny

I am the dreamer I roll the dice and I'm alive My hands aren't tied

This song and the next two make sort of a trio in my head, all intertwined with each other, all taking place at almost entirely the same moment, or at least in the same scene. In terms of what order Vader figures things out in the story, maybe it should go later; but in terms of making the trio work musically, when I listen to it in order, it goes first. This song is Vader feeling trapped by destiny and by the plans that have been made for him, only to finally realize he isn't trapped at all.

Beast In Black - Unlimited Sin

Swallowed by blind rage Once pure, now bloodstained Evil flows through your black veins

This is, obviously, The Palpatine Song. (UnLiMiTeD pOwEr!!111) It's goofy as fuck. It makes me giggle and bounce around. It almost doesn't belong in this playlist because of how goofy it is. But, even if Palps himself turns out to be really and truly dead, this is the part of the story where Vader comes face to face with his legacy and his impact on Vader's life. And I think the goofiness... sort of works, in a weird way. Even when he is rightfully dead and gone from the narrative, chances are good, Sheev Palpatine is still cackling at you.

In This Moment - Roots

I'm stronger than I ever knew I'm strong because of you

"Songs where women thank their abusers for toughening them up" is an entire genre and I have extremely mixed feelings about it, but In This Moment's approach is sufficiently ambivalent and angry that it works for me. This is Vader coming to terms with his feelings about Palpatine. He'll never not be someone who was shaped by what Palpatine did to him, even with Palpatine dead. But he can claim a strength and a freedom and even a defiance within that.

Lauren Jauregui - Invisible Chains

Keep running, on my way, I can see the light Got a hundred miles left and I'm feeling like I might stay alive

Closing credits. This is a song about working through trauma and mental illness and at last finding a glimmer of hope, and it's the soft little heart of this story. That last cry of "I already saved myself," like it's a revelation to the singer as well as the listener. God I just love it.