#doesnt help that like .. i hardly see fucking anyone sweat here

[tskumoyuuma]

anxiety is so stupid. been dreading n putting off doing this one stupid thing for literal months cause I'd never done it before. finally forced myself to do it today n it took like 10 minutes, most of it walking to n from the place. was shaking the entire time

[sainadazai]

"I Missed you sex" with Bokuto

As you sat outside your home in the patio chair that hardly cushioned you, waiting for the sound of his boisterous laughter, you couldn’t help but smile. It had been a whole week since he’d been away, and boy, no one ever told you how much you could miss someone. This had been the worst week of your life, because you hadn’t even prepared for the feeling of going to sleep without him, you never thought you’d have to. 

Now, of course, Kou was always a volleyball player, he left for small trips here and there throughout your relationship, but you’d gotten together after he sustained a sports injury, and was sent on hiatus. Never had you ever been more proud of being an athletic trainer and physical therapist than the day you met him. With his pouty face and casted up leg. Yet somehow the whole time he was with you that day was spent laughing hysterically. 

For the year and a half you’d been together, he hadn’t been to one traveling tournament, only practices and local games. He was always home by nine. So it's obvious how the past week had gone, but now it was finally over and you could sleep next to him again, touch those broad muscles and lay across his wide chest. You could kiss all over him, and feel the ecstasy that is his touch. 

Car revving is what makes your eyes focus in again, and you almost start to tear up when through the passenger window you can see his white hair poking up in all directions, a smile on his face as he barely focuses on driving, opting to stare straight into your eyes with the excitement of a child. 

He steps out of the car as you begin standing to go meet him, both of you are running at each other before you know it, interlocking all your limbs in a messy and aggressive hug. Legs wrap around his waist and when he finally feels that contact he’s been missing all week, he almost melts. 

“Hey..” you whisper, laughing a bit through it.

“Hey, Hey..” he speaks back, head tucked into your neck, loving that the two of you can greet each other that way again. 

“H-” you go to speak again, but he cuts you off with a gentle kiss. 

“Don't ruin it.” His hands squeeze at your waist, and his presence makes you break out in a giddy smile, the same one he’s wearing. 

“Love ya.” 

“Love ya. Oh! Did you clean our room while I was gone, because I so totally was gonna do it before I left, but then poof! I was on a plane and I was like Oh. My. God. Y/n is gonna be so mad, Im sorry ba-” 

“I did, c’mon Kou let's go inside..” you interrupt with a roll of your eyes. 

The two of you are happy. So pleased just to see each other again that you don't mention the underlying thoughts, and feelings. How having those hands around your waist, feeling how he is so big and towers over you, it made you dripping wet for him. How your breasts shoved right up against him, and that tiny little tank top you were wearing made him want to mark you up all over. The way you walked up the steps to your shared bedroom in those loose sweat shorts was causing him to drool, just at the sway of your hips. 

Koutarou and you didn't really have bedroom rules, there was a safeword just in case, but otherwise sex was simply recreational, it was about being close to eachother. So you weren’t afraid to pounce on him the second the bed came into your line of sight. 

Stripping your shirt off in the middle of the hall to reveal your breasts, nipples already hard both from him, and the cold air outside, then jumping on him. Your lips met his as he grasped your thighs and he bucked his hips subconsciously into you. 

The two of you just needed to feel each other, after a week of no form of touch from anyone, the only way to satiate the craving was to get as close to him as possible. You wanted him in you and on top of you, all around you if possible, everywhere. While he mostly associates touch with love, sex being the most intimate form of that, the more passion he puts into it is representative of how much he fucking loves you. Every part of you. The pleasure is just an added bonus. 

Thus it’s not unexpected when he slams you against the wall just by the open bedroom door, using it to push the two of you further together. Your back arches in contact with it and he uses that space to slit his hand in the dip of your back. 

Thick and wet kisses make their way from your mouth to your neck as his other hand grasps your left breast. He squeezes it in pulses, matching the in and out motion of his kiss, sliding his thumb over your nipple with each movement. A groan of his name falls from your wet lips when you first feel his hips grinding into yours, the much needed friction being given to you in just the right way. You could even feel how with each kiss and touch he was growing harder beneath those grey sweatpants. 

His low cut tank top exposed the sides of his chest, so you snuck your hands around and under to feel his flexing pecs, one making its way to his shoulder for grip. 

When he pulls away from your neck he speaks, “Fuck, missed you so much baby, missed your taste,” before he’s back to eating up every inch of you. You feel a bit of a shock when he jumps a bit you position you higher against the wall, latching his mouth to your unattended breast, sucking your nipple in his mouth and rolling his tongue around it, before popping off. 

“Missed all of you..” 

You moan at the warmth of his mouth on your nipple, loving the way he fucking worships you. “Miss you too, Kou- fuck- so much.” 

The sound of his name unsteadily rolling off your tongue sets him off, he needs more of this, more of you. So the man seats his hands under your ass, still kissing all over your breasts, and walks the two of you into the room. 

He even giggles as he falls over you onto the bed, the contact on your back is soft, the bed you love, but only when he is here, doing things like this to you. Contact is lost for a mere second while he rises to throw his shirt to the side, you take the time to rush off your shorts and undies. No one ever looked at your naked form the way Kou does, it's like he’s finally seen heaven, his eyes roam over you not like you're a piece of meat, but more so a delicate dessert for him to savour. 

“God your perfect, everyone must be so fucking jealous of me,” 

“Trust me, they are ~” you rouse, hoping to get a bit of jealousy out of him, because he is already towering over you like the giant he is, may as well seal your fate. It's not that you want to have rough sex, more so you need an excuse for the small tears gathering in your eyes, just at the fact that you can feel him now.

You never thought you’d cry over something like this but you missed him so fucking much, words don't even begin to explain, that's why you two do this first. Words aren't enough, but this way, the both of you can show eachother how much you needed the other when they were gone. You can give each other pleasures that only you hold the keys too, and make them feel things they only feel for you. 

Heat shoots straight to your center when you look up to see him in front of you bare, cock hard and ready as he stands there like a greek god, posed and all. 

“Anyone jealous of what you get, then?” he asks, not because he doesnt fucking know they are, but because he loves seeing you confient, that's what he always gets from that question. 

Both of your arms stretch up to reach for him, wrapping loosely around his muscular neck, “Oh yeah, but you know your mine,” you smirk, glad to be so sure he was always faithful when he was gone. You never had to fear for that. 

“Damn right I am.” Kou mumbles before connecting your lips, using one hand to run down the side of your stomach down to your clit, then continuing to the gap of your legs, spreading you wider for him. The tips of his fingers trace your leg up and down gently, sending shivers through you, and making you moan into his mouth. Then, one finger slides through your folds to gain access to your hole. It smooths over the damp flesh for a bit, before sinking deep into you, the stretch feels heavenly, but he knows friction is what gets you. 

The finger inside you quickly begins thrusting in and out, angled so that it rubs on the underside of your hole on it's way out, and thrusts into your g-spot on re-entry. The movement has your body writhing. His lips are marking up your entire chest, taking turns on each breast and moaning against your skin. 

He could do just this forever, he loves the way your walls get wetter and wetter around his finger, and the cute face you make when he inserts another. He know how big he is, you've had to tell him before in the past so that he understand how much you need this prep. 

It's never an issue, though, because Kou loves pleasing you, gets off on it even. Sometimes he wonders if just watching you make those pretty faces and noises could make him cum. Not that he wants to today, because as much as he loves pleasing you, he misses the feeling of you wrapped around him. 

The feeling of your body beneath him, or on top of him, anywhere as long as he can feel the pulse of your cunt around him. 

"Baby please!! Please let me put it in, need to feel you" He whines, having made himself painfully hard just imagining being that close to you again. 

Little did he know how much you needed him to fill you up, wanted him to tower over you with his broad frame and pound into you. Wanted him to show you how badly he needed you, how he couldn't even get off without you anymore. 

"Oh God, just hurry up I need you, Kou." 

He takes the way your wriggling beneath him as a sign that you were close, he was too, embarrassingly so. Thus he hissed as he grabbed hold of his veiny and flushed cock to line it up with your cunt. 

The second he felt just a hint of uts warmth he groaned and rested all of his weight on his hips, not even noticing how he was practically prying you open. 

His eyes are closed to take in the feeling he missed so much, until he here's a whimper, and feels your arms wrap around him strongly. 

"What baby, are you okay? Is this okay?" He is so kind you even let out a chuckle at him. 

"Feels so so good, I didn't even know i could miss someone as much as i missed you- ahh" 

Your words were sweet and he desperately wanted to hear more but with the way you were pulsing around him, he couldn't focus, he needed to get it all out before his mind would come down from the haze of pleasure. 

His thrusting was deep and slow, each movement pushing your whole body further up on the bed. His face was wrinkled up in concentration, but he made sure to focus on how your boobs bounced up and down with his strokes, and the way your mouth fell open with loud screams of his name. 

The pleasure and heat in the room were ever-growing, sweat starting to form on both of your torsos. Until finally a wave of pleasure ripped through you and you weren't sure whether to curl away from the feeling or move as close as possible to it. 

"Cuming-" 

"Me too-" he grasped the white blanket beneath you harshly as he came inside you. The warmth of his cum reminding you of how he was yours and you were his and this was home.

"You're never leaving for that long again." 

"Eh, I'm not sure, I mean if the sex is like that every time…" 

[hey-kids-want-some-avengers]

Can I have a one with steve where the reader did awful on a mission and feels bad about themself but instead of crying and being all mushy, she gets numb and doesnt want to talk about it and only comes out of her room to train (like really hard) and eat. Then steve trys to comfort her but fails and then one day she trains herself so tired that she couldnt make it back to her room so she went to steves room and sleeps with him and they talk then. Sorry if this is too specific but it would help me

Tough

A/N: here you go, love! I over-tagged just to be on the safe side, hope you enjoy! (Yes, yes I did write this story three different times)_____________________________________

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: language, canon typical violence, self blame, bad coping mechanisms, over training, exhaustion.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.

You stepped off the jet with the side of your face caked in blood and your clothes damp and torn. You couldn’t get any words to come out when Steve hurried to your side just minutes after your feet hit the ground, so you just kept walking. Adrenaline was still pumping through your system, body on high alert and your heart thudding loudly in your ears. Your hands were shaking at your side. You could hear Steve still, talking behind you, desperate and concerned but you couldn’t find it in you to care.

You walked inside, ignored the dirt you tracked in behind you, footfall heavy and sluggish. Your legs felt like led. You hardly even recognized yourself walking down the hall, or climbing in the elevator because your limbs were too tired to walk anymore than they had to. It all went by in slow motion, remembered in bits and pieces. It was dizzying and you’d only experienced this one other time when you’d let shock really set in.

You stepped out when the elevator doors slid open with a thudding sound. You made your way down the hall, took a left and unlocked your door despite your trembling body. You didn’t remember doing it once you were inside but suddenly, without your remembrance, you were perched on the end of your bed.

It was hard to focus, and you found yourself staring down at the carpeted floor for a long time before realizing there was still blood on your hands. It covered you face and clothes too. You’d almost forgotten. You forced yourself up again, movements stiff and slow as you gradually made it into your bathroom. The light was already on, makeup and your toothbrush, floss and other items scattered across your sink. You pushed them off onto the floor with the side of your arm, hardly reacting the the sound of it all clattering to the floor.

Carelessly, you turned on your faucet until the water was hot and steam was rising from the sink. You ignored the blood on the handle as you began to slowly wash the blood and dirt away, picking out tiny pieces of glass and gravel as you went. It stung, and the water burned your hands until your skin was tingling and bright red. Even after nearly half a bottle of soap and washing relentlessly you still saw blood in the cracks on your hands, could practically smell the metallic tinge of it. You grabbed your scrubby for your nails and began to scrub at your skin hard and fast under the spray of the water, you didn’t stop until it was raw, throbbing and cracked. You looked at your face, grabbing a washcloth and washing away the blood there too.

“Fuck,” you breathed, dropping your hands limply in the sink, the washcloth slipping behind the toilet. You stared down into the bowl of the sink for a long moment. Your stomach was grumbling in protest, almost aching from your lack of food. You hadn’t bothered to eat the entire way back, which had taken twice as long as it had meant to due to weather. You were dizzy, and wether it was from lack of sleep or food was anyone’s guess. You figured it was probably both.

You pulled your hands from the sink, shook them dry and grabbed a towel off the floor, using it to tiredly wipe the rest of the blood off the counter and faucet. It looked clean again, like it hadn’t ever been on your skin or your bathroom in the first place, but it still drummed at the back of your mind.

The entire way back you hadn’t even tried to sleep, and now you wanted nothing more, eyes tired and heavy. So you slipped out of your clothes with ease, deciding to stay only in your undergarments, curled into the dip in your mattress and buried yourself under your covers. It was hot, hidden under all of the blankets, but you didn’t have it in you to move and eventually you let your head sink into the soft pillow and you could almost, almost feel relaxed before you slumped into sleep.

In the end, you ended up sleeping for a little over four hours. It wasn’t enough, you’d woken up feeling almost more tired than before and there wasn’t a single muscle that didn’t ache. You found it hard to sleep though, images of blood hitting concrete floors and guns being cocked loudly echoed and replayed over, and over. You hadn’t ever failed so badly. You found yourself laying there tiredly for a long while before you decided on getting up and finding something to eat.

Throwing on a clean set of clothes and making it downstairs was easy. Forcing yourself to enter the large kitchen that you could hear conversation in, wasn’t. You didn’t want to talk, you didn’t want to even look at them, and you didn’t have enough energy to actually cook yourself a meal either. Despite it all, you entered the kitchen quietly and headed straight for the top left cupboard.

“Y/N, hey,” you heard Steve say the second after you entered. Most conversation had stopped and it was uncomfortably quiet. “Are you okay?”

You didn’t bother answering, you didn’t want to see the disappointment and worry on anyone’s face. You figured they probably knew what had happened by now, how they’d trusted you with this mission and how you’d thrown it into the gutter, bombed the entire thing and left a list of casualties a mile long in your wake. You didn’t want comfort, you didn’t want support. You wanted robbed left alone. You didn’t feel anything, you just felt numb and maybe a little determined through the waves of self hatred you couldn’t get rid of.

You grabbed an apple off the counter and a granola bar from the cupboard and turned to leave. “Not now,” you muttered on your way out. You heard Tony say something to Steve after you left but you couldn’t tell what, and you didn’t really care.

After that, you found what times the kitchen was empty and how to avoid running into anyone. It had become a strange kind of obsession, but it was what you needed. You waited until Natasha left the training room-she was always the last one out-and then you stayed in there for hours. You pushed and pushed yourself until your knuckles were bruised and your legs ached and you could hardly breathe.

Steve had tried to confront you several times since you’d gotten back. He was the only one too, you guessed either everyone else didn’t care or they knew you needed to be away. You dismissed him every time, worked harder at your punching bag, pretended not to hear him. You didn’t know why he cared so much anyways. You didn’t remember ever feeling this way before, constantly replaying all your mistakes, each victims name running through your head with every punch and kick. It was deafening and it drove you harder.

There had been a time, before your mission where you and Steve were close. You’d been getting closer, and at the time it had been the most important thing to you, but it wasn’t anymore, it just couldn’t be.

You continued like this for weeks. You didn’t pay attention to anyone else, or time, or if you were eating -and sleeping enough, you just worked as hard as you could physically handle. Eventually, you stopped waiting for Natasha to leave and went straight back to the corner and began training anyways. She asked if you were okay once or twice but you just avoided answering and made an excuse to work a little harder. You’d gone hand on hand with her a few times, no talking, just practicing and she’d ended it before you were even ready to be done every time. You noticed the muscle forming on your arms and calves, the way you could make it a hour without breaking a sweat and it made you feel good.

Sometimes you’d close your eyes after a particularly long run, the idea of taking it easy briefly fluttering through your head before you remembered the kids, the men and their wives, their animals, all dead, because of you, and you couldn’t let yourself take it easy after that, and risk that ever happening again.

A day later was the day that things finally snapped into place.

You headed for the kitchen, deciding on eating before training even though you’d woken up late. You’d started waking up at 5 every morning. Steve was already sitting at the booth when you entered.

“Y/N, can we talk?” He asked, swishing the contents of his coffee mug around. He was looking at you like a lost animal. He hadn’t wasted any time before asking, probably because he knew you’d want to escape as soon as possible.

You just started pulling out ingredients for a sandwich. You didn’t look at him or answer, you didn’t need this right now. You’d spent too much time building up this wall, you didn’t talk to anyone just incase it broke down, and if anyone could do that, it would be Steve. If the wall broke, your concentration would be gone and everyone would have died just for you to never become better.

“You need help, it’s okay, I understand,” Steve offered.

You snorted a little in fake amusement, your back to him so you didn’t have to see his reaction. You grabbed the bread and continued to make lunch, but he continued anyways.

“I’m here to help, you don’t need to lock it up. I know what that does, it’s not good, it’s not healthy,” Steve pressed, sliding his chair out and standing. Part of you had hoped if you were rude he’d just give up. You finished your sandwich before he made it over to you, and you slapped it on a plate and turned to leave.

“No,” you muttered, leaving to eat on your way down the hall. You glanced behind yourself briefly as you left, and Steve was still standing there, watching you leave. He didn’t even look hurt, which was the worst part, he looked patient.

It was already later than you had wanted when you entered the training room. You’d spent too much time eating and wasting time in the kitchen, sleeping, and you went straight for the punching bag the second you closed the door behind you.

You swung your first punch, connecting with the bag hard. You remembered a young girl, now motherless because of you. You remembered the building that had exploded, the main point of your mission laying inside of it. You recalled screams from bellow before the entire building was engulfed in smoke.

The air was thick, intoxicated with smoke and dust from the gravel, every breath causing a fit of hacking and wheezing. All vision was nearly useless, clouds of grey and black blocking anything even a foot ahead. The building was shaking, walls crumbling while you lay on your back, air sucked from your lungs, head pounding, and your ears ringing deafeningly. Your stomach was turning, vision a blur and your body shaking. It wasn’t something you could just forget.

I can take this one on my own, sit this one out, guys.

You brought your leg up with a high kick, repeating the reaction several times. You worked on beating the punching bag for a good forty minutes before you dropped to push ups.

You continued like this for hours, between benching, weights and sit ups. You ran the track twice, worked one of the indoor courses, and pushed your scores. You hadn’t trained this hard since coming back and your muscles were on fire. Your knees were sore and mildly from kneeling while doing a course, and your knuckles were scratched and bruising from the intensity of your punches without any gloves.

You felt exhausted and dehydrated, head swimming and your body sticky with sweat. It felt hard to walk and stay balanced just from how shaky your legs were. It was late now too, well past dark, maybe eleven or even later. The lights outside the training room were already off, you would usually be in bed by now. Tonight felt different though, like something had snapped. You didn’t feel that same hardness inside your chest, that emotionless void. Instead, you felt tired, physically and mentally, and you regretted everything you’d spat at Steve, and you regret the mission, and training so hard and sleeping so little.

You locked up the room as quick as you could get yourself to, and left on shaky legs. Your heart felt loud in your ears and you couldn’t help but hug your arms around your chest. It felt tight and awful, and kind of familiar, panic maybe. You made it up a flight of stairs before you forced yourself to sit at the top, leaning against the wall. You could hardly focus and your legs didn’t want to support your climb. You figured it was punishment for working too hard and eating too little.

The only way you could see was from the dull light shinning in from the windows, reflecting off the floors and walls. You stayed there for a good ten minutes, watching shadows pass from car lights tiredly before you could feel yourself slumping back against the wall. You got up again, despite the struggle in it, but you didn’t head up the next flight of stairs, you turned down the hall instead and headed slowly towards Steve’s room. You tried not to think about it so you couldn’t stop yourself, instead you just mindlessly continued forward until you were standing outside his door, hand hovering a inch away from the wood.

You hesitated before drumming your fist against it, the lights off under the crack in the door. There wasn’t any way to tell if he was awake or not, but part of you, a selfish part of you didn’t really care. You knocked again, a little softer than you’d meant but the door swung open a minute later anyways.

Steve stood in the doorway, looking confused and tired. His hair was a little messy, sticking up in the back. There were circles under his eyes and a hint of stubble, he looked kind of domestic, it was odd and comforting at the same time. You guessed he’d been asleep but he didn’t say anything. “Y/N?” He said slowly, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do.

You stared at your feet and took a deep breath. You hadn’t considered what you’d actually say assuming he answered his door, which you guessed you’d been counting on. You swallowed thickly and opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to get past the dryness in your throat. “I need help,” you mumbled finally. Your voice came out in a croak, but you guessed it was from not using it much.

Steve frowned at you, but it was sympathetic and he stepped to the side to let you enter his room. “Okay, come on,” he said softly and you wandered in with the last of your energy.

You owed him an apology, more than one and more than just words, but your head was pounding and you couldn’t get yourself to say it without breaking down in tears.

“I’m so tired,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair with a shaking hand. Steve put an arm around you for support and lead you towards the bed, despite your half-assed protests to just slump against the wall.

“I know, it’s okay, lets just get you in bed, yeah?” Steve said carefully, watching you with large, worried eyes. You hated when he looked like that, but he’d never made that look at you before, especially not because of you.

“Yeah,” you nodded, leaning into his side as he pulled the blankets further back and helped you into bed. You could tell you were where Steve had been sleeping, the pillow dipped and the spot still warm with his body heat. He pulled the duvet up over your shoulders and gently pushed your hair from your face before heading around the other side of the bed. “Steve?” You asked quietly, staring up at the ceiling. It was hardly any brighter in here than the rest of the tower after he clicked the lamp off.

You could see him look at you out of the corner of your eye. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” you sighed, curling your knees into your chest. You closed your eyes, letting your aching shoulders slump when you felt the bed dip under Steve’s weight as he climbed in next to you. The added body heat made your eyes heavier and your head sluggish.

Steve hummed a soft laugh and pressed himself against you, an arm gently draping over your body. “You’re welcome, I wish you’d let me do this before though,” he teased lightly, causing a vague smile to form on your lips.

“I know, but I couldn’t, I should have asked for help and I shouldn’t have done what I did,” you started, squeezing your eyes tightly.

“Shh, just relax. It’s okay now, alright?” Steve said kindly, running his hand up and down your body soothingly.

You nodded again in response and scooted a tiny bit closer to him, sharing body heat and letting your head focus on his fingers gently massaging your muscles before you fell asleep.

You slept the rest of the night without waking up. You didn’t stir much and when you finally opened your eyes, you were still warm and sated with sleep. There was light pouring in through his open window and you glanced at your side to look at Steve. He was still sound asleep, body half slumped over you and his mouth hanging open. You smiled a little and let yourself lay there, relaxed and in and out of sleep until he shifted beside you and yawned against your shoulder.

“Hey,” he mumbled, his voice just a low grumble. He was radiating heat and it felt wonderful.

You curled into his side in response, burying your hands in his shirt. “Hey,” you forced out, voice quivering.

“You okay?”

You shook your head and he pulled you closer, calming the small tremble in your limbs.

“You know, it wasn’t your fault,” Steve yawned, his voice oddly soothing, especially with his gravely, sleepy tone to it. He smoothed his hand over your shoulder, gently working the knots out of your muscles. You stayed quiet, focusing on a wrinkle in the sheets instead of Steve. It made it a little more bearable. “People make mistakes, we all have, as a team included.”

“I killed people,” you responded quietly, slotting your foot between his legs to keep it warm. You’d somehow abandoned your socks in the bed at some point in the night, and Steve seemed to be an endless supply of heat and you were taking full advantage of it. “Good, innocent, normal people. Victims. My victims.”

Steve hushed you with a soft kiss. It wasn’t anything pushy, or anything besides a feather light, comforting kiss. You pulled back as he did so you could look at him. “I know, and I know what it’s like, all of the guilt and that feeling inside your stomach like you should’ve done better- I know, god, I know, but you can’t continue to do this to yourself.”

“I’m trying to do better,” you offered back pathetically, watching his expression turn gradually more understanding. You wondered if he was thinking of the train right now, even after all this time.

“You need to take care of yourself, I’ll help, because you aren’t doing it on your own. You’re a good person, and you do a good job here, with all of us, it was one bad mission.”

“It costed lives,” you reminded tiredly.

“Y/N, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. Come eat with everyone else, train like everyone else, eat and sleep like you should. It’s the best thing you can do, believe me.” Steve sighed softly and ran a hand over his face. “You’ve learned enough from this mistake already.”

You stayed quiet for a while, looking at Steve because you still felt entirely exhausted and it was a little hard to believe Steve was here after everything you’d been putting him through. You figured, logically that he was so sympathetic and understanding because he knew what it felt like more than anyone did. “Okay, I will,” you said quietly, trying to keep the sting of tears in your eyes.

Steve smiled at you, happy and confident. “Thank you. I’ll be here, every step of the way, okay?”

You smiled a little, nodding. “Okay,” you snuggled closer, wrapping your arms around him like he was doing to you. He nuzzled his nose against your neck and you played with his hair a little, and it all felt so natural. You both lay like that, silently for a long time before you even considered breaking the silence. “Hey, Steve?”

“Mm?” Steve hummed sleepily.

“Did you just kiss me a minute ago?”

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt4

Catch up here>>> PartOne , PartTwo , PartThree

Word Count: 2,161

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Dean and Sam both startle at your sudden outburst and back away slowly. You begin to sob as you stay seated on the floor

“All I ever wanted him is to stop, thats all I asked for is to stop but he didnt, he kept going and never stopped” You say as you let out a shaky breath at the same time sobbing, you begin to let loose and have your legs fall to the floor.

Dean sees that as a sign to move closer to you and when he sees you dont resist he takes you into his arms and holds you while you sob against his chest.

“At the restaurant or in your dream?” Sam asks while he wipes the tears away from your face along with the sweat from your forehead while Dean still has his hold on you.

You sit there motionless and just feeling tired to do anything or even say a single word. You sleep in the embrace of your brothers arms and when he is ready to place you back on your bed

“Sleep with me please” You say in a hushed tone sounding so little pleading with one of your brothers to sleep with you for the night just like when you were just a pup after having a nightmare.

“Sure thing kiddo, sure thing” Dean says while he lifts you and places you on the bed, after he crawls in next to you still has his arms around you.

He kisses the top of your head while nodding to Sam he has you for the night and he turns to kiss you at the top of your head as well.

“Night baby girl, love you” Sam says while you mumble sweet nothings back knowing all to well that he didnt hear you.

Sam walks away from the both of you and walks out to close the door behind him, you sleep soundlessly without having a single dream as you know Dean is the one who is sleeping with you to keep the monsters at bay.

“Michael what are you going to do man?” Benny asks him while he goes around the restaurant to see if there are still anything left behind from his employees.

“I dont know Benny, the way she felt and looked so completely terrified to even look at me” He says looking to Benny feeling completely helpless.

“Give her some time, Im pretty sure that she scented you to as well. In the mean time she will be ok since she has two alpha brothers to keep an eye on her” Benny says from the kitchen putting a few things away.

“Doesnt Dick know that he is going to be in a shit load of trouble after all of this?” He asks looking to Benny while he comes back into the dining area where Michael is seated near by the kitchen.

“Dick is Dick you should know that, he doesnt think like that. He was raised in a

traditional home full of Alphas and Betas thinking that they can do whatever they want with an Omega and they think of them as nothing other than a hole to fuck” Benny looks to Michael and feels extremely uncomfortable talking about a person like that but thats how he thinks of Richard Roman and his family.

“Thank god he isnt in office or else this town would go down in flames” He says looking away from Benny and looking out into the empty streets of Kamloops.

“Thats what Im most grateful for and very damn happy your father is in office with his beliefs in Omega rights. Speaking of Omega how is Castiel these days? I havent seen him in a while” Benny asks while getting away from the topic of Dick and into more of a neutral conversation.

“Castiel has been good but he hardly goes anywhere. Mother fears for him knowing how some people are around here and I do to but I am willing to hang out with him since we are more closer even after” Michael cuts himself from going any further about talking about his family and Benny knows all to well what has happened over the past couple of years with the Cuthberts.

A couple of years ago after Castiel presented as Omega after one of his heats he decided it would be a good idea to meet up with friends in the square. What ended up happening was he got taken from the streets of Kamloops and taken to a warehouse found himself tied to a chair.

He was well enough to get his phone from his pocket to text Lucifer who is their older brother, an emergency text and mentioned he was in some warehouse. Luc knew where to find his baby brother after reminding Castiel to turn on the GPS on his phone. 

Michael was away in school during the time he got abducted. Lucifer took matters into his own hands to save his brother from his abductees, he climbed the fire escape to get into the warehouse surveyed the area to make sure no one was around to spot him.

When he got to the room Castiel was being tied up in, he heard three sets of foots steps coming towards him. He unlocked the door with the bobby pins he had in his pockets, opened the door to close it behind him, Castiel wasnt aware his older brother was in the room now. He went straight for Castiel and undid the rope that bound him to the chair as fast as he could to get them both out of the warehouse. He woke up and began to resist Lucifer.

“Hey hey its me Im going to get us out of here” He says to his baby brother and luckily he complies to his response. Right when he undid the very last rope is when the three men came walking into the room, Lucifer threw Castiel to the side of the room while the three men attacked him.

He gave it his all when he was fighting off the three alpha's and yelled to Castiel to get out of the warehouse as fast as he could without turning back but he was hesitant to leave his older beloved brother behind. When one of the men were about to come for Castiel is when he kicked him in the groin, he got up as fast as he could to run out of the room and down the hall to run out of the warehouse.

When he got outside and ran straight for Lucifer's car is when he got in, started it and drove away. He made it just minutes away from the warehouse and called the police to let them know what had happened. When the police arrived at the scene they only made one arrest while the other two made a run for it, one of the officers brought back Castiel to identify a body and to his shock it was his brother Lucifer.

He felt completely numb at the sight in front of him, when the paramedics took his lifeless form away from him is when he frantically pulled away from the officer to see his brother again to make sure he was only sleeping but the officer held him and repeatedly told him he is gone and he died saving him. Castiel couldnt help but feel it was all his fault his older brother wasnt with him anymore, blamed his biology for the cause of his brothers death and everything else he blamed himself for.

If he had just stayed home like his brother said in the beginning until the scent of his heat went away than none of this would have happened. He would have been going home with his brother but that wasnt going to happen. All throughout the years he has spent so many of them locked away in his room replaying the events over and over again. If he wasnt in his room he would be locked away in his brothers old room going through all of his belongings even at times his parents would find him wearing his clothes but would never say anything to him.  

When Michael came home and saw how Castiel was he so badly wanted to take him away from the guilt and have everything unto him but he would always tell him

“I dont want you to carry around this guilt, this hate” He didnt like how his brother was until he brought up the idea of having him move with him to Portland, at first Chuck and Naomi werent so keen on the idea of having their youngest son moving away from home.

Until it was Chuck who decided it would be a great idea for Castiel to be away from home for a while and stop thinking about the death of his brother and son. After two years Michael has graduated from his construction program while Castiel went for a graphic design program and finished the program online.

“You should bring him by sometimes, would like to see him” Benny says looking to him with a smile on his face.

“Yeah Im pretty sure he would like that” He says looking away from Benny to take a sip from his coffee which almost reminded him of you but wasnt fresh enough.

“Now about this girl, you sure she is your true mate? Dont get me wrong Im pretty sure she is a delight but what about Anna?” Benny asks as he comes back to the table after he locked the front entrance and turned on the closed sign.

“I will deal with Anna, she always said how much she believed in true mates. She told me once she will let me go if mine ever came along but that was years ago when she told me that” He says putting his cup of coffee down.

“Thats what I mean, look you got to talk to her and at the same time get the new girls name at least and see what will take from there. I am rootin for ya Michael really I am but deal with the most obvious before anyone gets hurt. Alright?” Benny says to him and they both get up from the table to walk through the kitchen to exit the back of the restaurant to head home for the night.

“The girls name is Y/n Winchester, her brother Sam introduced himself along with her after I got rid of Dick” Michael says looking to Benny.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I hope she reports his ass, I am pretty sure everyone else will come forward when they hear about this” Benny says while finishing off his coffee and Michael does the same.

Michael needed to get a lot of things out of the way before he could even see you again. He got into his truck to head home to Anna who is a Beta he met in college,  he really thought he was going to marry her to spend the rest of his life with her until he saw you and that all changed once he caught your scent.

He got out of his truck to walk up the drive to get to the door to unlock it and go inside the house. He went to the kitchen to grab himself a beer from the fridge when he heard Anna coming down the stairs.

“Hey, its after midnight. Benny have you throw out a customer again?” She asks coming to him to give him a peck to his lips.

“Yeah, Dick was being a dick of course. He groped this woman as she was walking in with her brothers an Omega. She was so deathly afraid to even look at me she stood hidden behind her brother Sam” Michael says walking away from Anna to sit at the table.

“Did she call the police? Or did anyone call the police?” She asks following the same as Michael did to the table.

“No, no one called the police, and I dont know if she did when they got home.” said Michael

“I could just feel the fear she was giving off, I just wanted to move her brother out of the way and comfort her until she stopped shaking or at least until the fear went away” He continues

Anna looks surprised to even hear what he is saying. They both end the conversation and head up the stairs to the room that they share and get to bed.

Dean is the one who rises early, he looks to your sleeping form all curled up beside him

“So cute just like when you were four” He whispers as he gets up from the bed, you heard what he had said and that brought a smile to your face once he walked out of the room. He meets Sam in the hallway