#don’t mind me I’m just glorifying witch menopause over here

[spooning-pluto]

Grey (a Snape x wife!reader oneshot)

Summary: After a rough day for you, Snape discovers your first grey hair. Back in the day it used to be you who talked some confidence into him, but suddenly your roles switch. Set in a Snape lives au.

Warnings: none, just pure fluff

Notes: This is a lot of dialogue with big monologues in between. Writing this I imagined Snape to be in his early 50s, the reader in her late 40s, but their ages are not specifically mentioned in here.

“Earlier I didn’t even ask you how your day was, I’m really sorry about that,” Severus said as you slipped underneath your duvet to join him in bed. It was true, he has not asked about your day over dinner, but you didn’t care since he was well distracted by a big change his editor wanted to do in Severus’ manuscript of the new second year potions textbook. “No big deal. I know how important that textbook is to you and I absolutely love how passionate you get about it, so don’t worry, okay?” you replied, crossing your legs and leaning against the headboard.

He only disapprovingly waved his hand and cleared his throat. “Would you mind telling me about your day now?” He was impatient to make up for what he thought was a mistake he made. You couldn’t help but smile a little at this character trait of his. “You look... exhausted today,” he added, his voice laced by a bit of concern.

“To be honest, I am”, you deeply sighed,” And not just a bit. When I went into the grocery store today it was jam-packed, it took me almost two hours to get everything from my list and there wasn’t even that much on it. After I’ve brought the groceries home I sat at the café for almost an hour until Narcissa finally arrived. Turns out she was shopping for a birthday gift for Scorpius but couldn’t find anything she thought he would like, because she – as she admitted to herself – doesn’t even really know what he likes. I felt pity for her so I recommended her that book we wanted to get him -”

You stopped your flow of speech as you realised that getting him that exact book was actually Severus’ idea and you suddenly felt guilty for giving it away. “Was that okay?” you timidly asked. He looked at you with his eyes wide open and quickly nodded, urging you to go on. “Well, that left us with no birthday gift for Scorpius and me with another task for today. First I scanned every bookshop around the area for something I have not yet seen on his shelves yet and wasn’t very successful, as you can imagine. Until I had an idea. I apparated to London and got him a childrens’ encyclopaedia at a muggle bookshop. And then I apparated home to you to help you with-” Your own yawning put a more dramatic ending to your story than you had intended.

“Oh love”, Severus said, his brows furrowed, taking your hands in his, “I wish I could have accompanied you for at least half of your day. I really am so sorry for letting you run all of those errands for both of us today. Can I - can I do something for you now? Do you want to take a bath, shall I give you a massage – anything, just say the word.” You merely shrugged your shoulders and replied “Stopping to fuss over this and cuddling me will do, Sev.”

He softly laughed as he let go of your hands and wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer. He moved to kiss the crown of your head but briefly stopped mid movement, then he continued like nothing had happened. A few years back you would probably not even have noticed that something had stopped him in his tracks, but over the course of your relationship, and later marriage, you have gotten used to almost all of his movements. And that one you just witnessed was odd.

“Is everything alright?” you asked. “Yes,” was his only answer, his bright smile detectable in his voice. Carefully he ran his index finger from your hairline towards your ear. Abruptly you jerked your head up to look at him, causing him to draw his hand away again. “What are you doing?” you asked, with more urgency in your voice than before.

“You’ve got a grey hair,” he stated plainly, his rare expression of pure enthusiasm still not leaving his face. “Wow”, you sarcastically commented, “I wouldn’t be surprised if I got that one today.” Snape looked into your eyes for a moment, regarding your reaction, his bright smile faded into a mildly concerned frown. “You really are not the slightest bit excited, are you?” he then asked.

“Counter question – why on earth are you? Is it that satisfying to you to watch your wife grow old right in front of you?” It stung his heart to see how insecure you were about this. First he wasn’t sure how to phrase what he wanted to say without hurting you any further, but he decided to go for it anyway. “Look at this”, he said, holding his left hand so close to your face you had to acknowledge it, “I wouldn’t have this ring if I didn’t sign up for you watching me grow old and vice versa. It’s going to happen to both of us and is certainly nothing we should be afraid of. So actually, yes, I am looking forward to it.” You let out one loud breath, an attempted laugh that got stuck in your throat, as tears threatened to fall. Suddenly it felt terrible to be so scared of something he was so kind and positive about.

You looked up at him, finally looking into his eyes again, swallowed and whispered “thank you” so quietly that it made you feel even worse. It made you feel bad for not even being able to phrase your feelings properly. And as he pulled you into himself once again you couldn’t keep a few stray tears from rolling down your cheeks.

“It actually isn’t the first one. I plucked the actual first one out maybe two weeks ago,” you admitted rather to his neck than to him after a few moments of silence, you couldn’t bear looking him in the eye. “Age is something I always thought is so far from us that I never gave it a second thought – but now that I am sweating constantly, my skin becomes sort of loose and I apparently grow grey hair – it’s so real all of a sudden. I am just - so afraid of soon not being attractive to you any more, of being an undesirable, dull, wrinkly, old lady, that I couldn’t find the courage to tell you about my first grey hair to you or even show it to you. Instead I chose to pretend I didn’t see it either. I know that that’s stupid.”

“It is not”, he explained, drawing tiny patterns on your back with his fingers, “I know what it is like to feel like you’re aesthetically not pleasing enough for your partner. And I also know how long it takes for one to believe their partner when they say that that’s nowhere true. But if I am honest, a part of me is also relieved that it seems that I can now repay the confidence lessons you taught me all those years ago.”

He pulled away a bit to look at your face, relieved that your silent crying had come to a halt. You blinked a few times as you looked up at him, then you smiled softly. “Would you do me the honours?” you asked shyly. Once again he took both of your hands in his and began to quietly tell you things that sounded like he was prepared to say them for years.

“You are the most beautiful creature on this earth to me, but others are aware of that, too. For example when I’m out shopping with you, other men often tell me how lucky I am to have you when I am waiting for you in front of the changing cubicles. Or remember Lupin’s and Black’s reactions to finding out about us? It was something like ‘how did Snape bag her’ both times. They didn’t even know how brilliant, kind and intelligent you are yet, they all say that just about your appearance. And those comments only increase with the time we are together. You still have that muggle bias that makes you believe grey hair and wrinkles are unattractive, while actually they just show that you’ve lived, that you laugh frequently and that there is a huge personality behind that pretty face. And, Y/N, you’re a witch. If anything makes a witch even more powerful than she was before, then it’s her looks matching up to the wisdom she has.”

He tenderly wiped away some of your once again falling tears with his thumb and gave you a few moments to collect yourself. Just as tenderly he then kissed your cheek, his lips lingering there for a short instant before he continued praising you. “In the following years I will get to see a new kind of beauty on you, a kind of beauty that will suit you amazingly well. So please, Y/N, let your body unfold it’s true magic that it has been building up and working on your whole life. I can’t wait to see it.” A slight blush replaced the streaks of fallen tears on your cheeks as you tried to come up with anything to reply. But you were too choked up with emotion to give a verbal response, instead you just leaned towards him, the side of your nose brushing his before your lips met in a chaste but loving kiss.

A moment later you combed through his thick, still completely raven black hair as you looked into his nearly as dark eyes. “I think your hair will never turn grey, Sev,” you sighed, half sarcastically, half in earnest. “It does seem that way right now”, he gave in, “but I am not immune to ageing either. Sometimes my bones crack so loudly you ask me if I’m alright. From the other room.” With the laughter you both shared after this remark of his, all of your fears were gone.

“And besides that,” Severus slid a hand down his torso, following it with his gaze, “I’m gaining weight. Nothing I’m necessarily proud of, but that’s what happens, I guess.” You joined your hand to the one of his that was resting on his stomach, caressing the back of it with your thumb. “But I really like that! It makes you look as cuddly and soft as you have always been on the inside.”

“See? And your grey hair makes you look as wise and brilliant as you have always been.”

“Yes, I see.”

Later, after you have turned off all the lights and cuddled into Severus’ side, ready to fall asleep, he whispered into your ear “If you should really feel terrible with it and not feel comfortable in your own skin any more, you know that there are potions that temporarily return the hair’s colour. If it would make you happier, I would brew them for you, but still I ask you not to take them. I’ll think you’re beautiful no matter what colour your hair has.”

“Don’t worry”, you answered, “I won’t ask for them. I’m not that afraid of ageing any more, as long as I know that you are by my side, with all your cracking bones and your bit of tummy fat. I love you so much, Severus.”

“I love you even more. Now sleep well, you deserve rest after a day like this, my love,” he said, kissing the spot where he memorised his now most cherished hair of yours.