#don't touch me i'm feral

[write-nerdy-to-me]

i have my lucifer meta i’ve been working on for ages (see: connecting dots like charlie day and feeling FERAL), but now all i can think about are roman gods and two faces aND THE STAFF.

[coffeeshib]

KARA SAVING HER WOMAN OMG PLEASE

[write-nerdy-to-me]

@myinfinitevariety​ and i are cONNECTING THE DOTS. WE’RE CONNECTING THEM.

[write-nerdy-to-me]

i'm just thinking about becky, the writers/fans insert, and chuck, the network insert, and how becky was making spn hers and chuck viewed the boys as the same men as they were at the beginning of the story, and how this all relates to the later spn era, breaking from the ~mold, and the network (and singer, really) still advertising spn as "two brothers." chuck was stuck. he couldn't see the boys anymore (he didn't know how he was gonna get to his ending, but he knew where he was going), and that's the thing, isn't it. becky viewed them as more than just characters; she wanted them to sit and talk and do laundry -- they were important to her. but chuck only viewed them as his playthings, something to manipulate, their feelings be damned because he wanted the story to go this way. chuck pushed becky aside and wrote his version. "no one even mentions cas." when the boys didn't do as he wanted, when they broke away from what chuck had in mind, he said, "time to start cancelling shows."

in this essay, i will--

[write-nerdy-to-me]

uh, i’m sorry for the post addition i’m about to drop

[write-nerdy-to-me]

nothing makes this bitch more feral than 13x01-06, aka dean’s widower grief arc. like!! that shit is LOADED with how much dean cares about cas!! the first episode dean prays to G O D to bring back cas, and he loses FAITH! CAS!! is dean’s FAITH!!! i’M!!! and then!! dean’s all, “i just need a damn win!” and who’s his win? his BIG WIN?? CAS!! he just loves cas so much i’m--

[write-nerdy-to-me]

when your kid brother keeps poking and prodding at you to expose your trauma that you’ve actively protecc’d said kid brother from his entire life, and so you just avoid it and Don’t Talk About Stuff because you don’t want to burden him with that shit -- won’t burden him. also when you’ve gone basically your whole life believing that your needs come last to your kid brother’s, so you develop these issues revolving around your self-worth and you start to believe you’re poison and undeserving. (and, rather, you confide in your husband, your partner, and talking to him is so easy because he’s only ever made you feel worthy.) in this essay i will--

[write-nerdy-to-me]

@curioussubjects sent me something cursed and i’m like, well fuck, guess i gotta make another deranged meta post.

[write-nerdy-to-me]

what ep are those beers in ? whats the significance of red and blue? is is a matrix ref ? haha i just wanna also go feral over the beer but i dont know what they mean

jdskldsjl hi, nonnie. okay so, these beers that live in my mind rent free are from 15x20 -- specifically, when sam is mourning and in dean’s room by himself. he looks off to the side and we focus on this.

two bottles. under L A M P. (noticeably, lots of things in dean’s room are paired off, but that’s a different feral ramble.)

now the colors. we all associate dean with the color green, right? BUT in 13x16 we get this line: “look, red is my color!” and we all know cas’ color is blue; been there, done that, drank that beer.

in unhinged conclusion: red and blue, that's destiel, baby!!

[write-nerdy-to-me]

IT’S UNHINGED FERAL HOUR, MY DUDES.

NO ONE. HAS EVER. TOLD CASTIEL. THAT HE IS LOVED. MY BOY DESERVED TO HAVE SOMEONE -- ANYONE, EVEN HIS SON -- TELL HIM THAT HE’S LOVED, THAT HE’S APPRECIATED, THAT HE’S WORTH MORE THAN WHAT HE CAN DO. THAT HE’S MORE TO THE WINCHESTERS THAN A TOOL. HE DESERVED TO HEAR THAT HE’S LOVED FROM THE MAN HE LOVES. FUCK.

[write-nerdy-to-me]

M I S S  M E, YOU COWARDS. (tweets)

[write-nerdy-to-me]

I'M FEELING FERAL IN THIS RADIO SHED TONIGHT, MY DUDES