#dont take this seriously idk fr pls bye

[starlighthan]

very small vent(?) idk i just wanna release it for a bit ever since i posted my new fic

it's seriously so hard to tell if ppl did not like my fic or they just forgot my existence here in stayblr 😭

just kidding, it's just past 12 hours since i posted my new fic ... i shouldn't demand for any reactions to it right away since it's pretty new

god i sometimes wonder if it was a good decision to take a break last month 🥲 the lack of response just makes me insecure istg idk if it was write to come back even since i still do think i suck at writing in general

idk too if ppl are not into my ideas or what but the amount of notes in my fics have been up and down and i seriously dont know what ppl can enjoy

this is a problem now right?? with the lack of feedback, i cant even tell what to write for readers so they can enjoy what i post :(( i also want to please those who've been reading too obviously

i hate to compare, but i feel so sad when i saw the other fics in the tags getting lots of notes already while i barely get 20 notes :((( jealousy is kicking in here ig dont mind me

ofc im working hard in what i write, but i noticed that fics would do well if ur a remembered author here who posts a lot of fics. and it didnt go well with me now obviously because i didnt post any work for almost 2 months. while i was active a few months ago, i still get a good amount of notes... it's very slow today bc i just came back

like i said, im getting back to writing so i hope my insecurity and disappointment goes away for a bit after writing more :(( ik i shouldnt depend on notes and feedback alone but i needed it so much so i can write more and improve (and i kinda use it for validation?? i do get back to readers' comments in my fics quite a lot)

i hope i'd get any comment for arbttb, even just a short one, in the next few days 🥲 i'd appreciate it seriously