#dontletanyonejudgeyourbody

[manylayersingender]

For the #14 post, I would like to discuss body surveillance.

Body surveillance refers to a preoccupation with critically looking at and judging one's body against normative standards of attractiveness to determine what others might think of them. My mother does this to me whenever I am in Japan. Two years ago, during summer break, I went on a weekend getaway trip with my mother. In the hotel room, she told me that if I lost weight, I would look more beautiful and would not have difficulty finding a boyfriend. This is literally what my mother said to me, and I could not believe it for a while that my mother said it to my face. She also told me that I look better in jeans if I lose weight. She said she is just worrying about my health, but she definitely compares my body against the normative standard of attractiveness. She would never equate my looks with my chances of getting a boyfriend.

Because she has told me about these things for a few years now, I started saying the same thing to myself. This is very toxic and could be very harmful. I love my mother, but I hope she realizes how harmful what she said to me is, and I hope someday, I will be able to love myself and my body the way it is❤️