#drals/azandar

[yansurnummu]

my god... those old men are gay !!

[yansurnummu]

this was a sketch that kinda got away from me. I just love them so much :')

[yansurnummu]

going to a fancy party in necrom!

[yansurnummu]

To the Horrors I've Known and Loved

A story about change, parallels, and never being able to go home.

(Read on AO3. updates most Mondays. Warning for body horror themes, minor character death, fantasy weed smoking)

To the Horrors I've Known and Loved:

I often asked myself, if I could tell you one thing now, what would it be? The answer's changed a lot, over the years. 

Once there was a time where I cursed you. You took everything from me, and it made me so, so angry. I wanted to hurt you as you'd hurt me.

For a long time, I feared you. I was alone. I built walls for fear you might find me. And, oh, did I have a lot of time to build those walls into a bloody fortress. A prison of my own making.

Now… I'm not so sure. Grief is an odd thing. It sneaks up on you. Did you grieve for me that day? Or was I simply an obstacle in your path?

I thought I had done grieving long ago. But looking at you now, I realise I had been mourning something else entirely. An object, an idea, a place I could never see again. Some nebulous concept I wonder if I even really had in the first place.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is… even after everything that's happened, everything you did, everything I had to do; I forgive you. I do. Because I could have done the same. It would have been so easy. If anything, I should thank you. If you hadn't broken me, I would have ended up just like you. 

I look at you and I'm looking in a mirror. I see now that you and I are the same. The difference is in the fucking details.

[yansurnummu]

infinite archive shenanigans ft. drals as a cute & cuddly goat, and @tilliphont's serysi getting to be a bigger werewolf than her puny werewolf brother (my boy sadryn)

[yansurnummu]

modern au doodle because I just thought azandar would look cute in glasses :)

[yansurnummu]

a dps/healer relationship is actually something that can be SO romantic

[yansurnummu]

wait I figured out why I love their dynamic so much

[yansurnummu]

boyfriend jacket...

[yansurnummu]

anyways here's drals and his cat ears getting some luv <3 (nsfw)

[yansurnummu]

have a lil sketch i may or not finish :)

[yansurnummu]

wip. bringing in the new year with old man yaoi :)

[yansurnummu]

mods are asleep time to post azandar's tits

(some mild suggestive partial nudity below cut)

[yansurnummu]

ok I lied I'm gonna talk about it more

90% of the narrative changes I made to the necrom story in my fic are mostly because when put into the format of written word, they don't go over as well as they do within the context of the game (mostly stuff that boils down to fetch quests, or quests that rely heavily on game mechanics like combat & exploration) I wanted to keep the core ideas and essence because I did really love it! I have a real love for cosmic/eldritch horror and high fantasy and mystery, and I think they did a fantastic job of blending those elements together in a way that still felt very ESO. Some details I don't really vibe with and think they could've done better (why put such an emphasis on the dusksabers being vampires if you're not going to use that in any interesting way, for example)

Mostly what I think it boils down to is the kind of story I want to focus on vs the focus of the story in-game. Like I could go for a one-to-one novelisation, but frankly I would find that boring. In shifting the focus to drals and his self-discovery journey, I do feel like I've had to pair down on some other elements (having gadayn as more of a background character, cutting out meln's ghost and leaving him as a figure of drals' past) in order to keep the focus on drals' relationship with azandar and friendship with leramil. Also dialling back the world ending-ness of it and just having apocrypha and mora being the ones in danger, lowering the ultimate stakes but still giving them all a reason to be extremely invested in the Plot.

Haven't planned as far ahead as The Reveal yet, but honestly? I might leave out the whole ithelia thing and come up with some other big dangerous secret mora's hiding. Not because of anything against ithelia, but because it does end on that kind of cliffhanger and sense of impending doom, and I think I'd prefer it if I could just end the story there and allow the characters to rest after a bittersweet victory.

[yansurnummu]

I do really want to talk more about my fic and elaborate on some of my narrative choices but for some reason I just feel weird putting it in the ao3 notes or talking about it here unprompted

however I am biting chewing gnawing etc about the parallels between shelreni haunting drals' life vs azandar grieving something he could have had with martina and both of them being unable to move past it yet seeking comfort in each other

[yansurnummu]

uhhhhhhh here's this thing i've been sitting on half-finished for weeks (nsfw)