#dude thinks he's ugly... silly goose

[cocomochicakes]

ASKING NON-BG3 FRIEND WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THE COMPANIONS

So I asked my friend, who has NEVER played BG3, what they think about the characters based on watching my gameplay and clips from TikTok and this is what they said:

ASTARION

Moody brat, except he’s really sweet sometimes? But still a brat. Very hungry and wants to use Tav as a capri sun. He’s also a chaotic goose. Goostarian.

KARLACH

BEST GIRL BEST GIRL BEST GIRL! Heart of gold (and metal…and fire…) She’s a bimbo Barbarian, what’s not to love???? Also her broken horn is so cool. She’s so punk, I just wanna kiss her so bad.

HALSIN

Big horny bear man. I guess the dick is bigger in bear form??? Can Tav even fit that inside them??? Everybody loves Astarian imitating Halsin “enjoying the freedom of nature’s gifts.” Idk, Halsin scares me for some reason…? Maybe it’s the horndog thing. Horn…bear…?

WYLL

Nobody talks about this guy, so I have no idea who he is. Just your average Joe warlock who just wants a cup of coffee, I guess. I think he’s a monster hunter, though? He and Astarian sass each other.

LAE'ZAEL

Frog lady with a tiny nose. She wants to be dominated by Tav. I used to think she was ugly, but I actually think she’s cool looking in her own way. Makes the silly “CHUHK” sound with her tongue. People ship her with Shadowheart…?

SHADOWHEART

EMO EMO EMO!! She comes across as bratty to me. I saw a little bit of her story, and I think it’s cool that she defied her god, but yeah. Sucks to be abandoned by Mommy.

GALE

I heard somebody say once the boy likes to mansplain, so Gale left a sour taste in my mouth after that. Uhhh people say he’s autistic, too? In my friend’s play through, he had electric boots and was standing in ankle-deep water, and then went on to talk about books or something…? Also he’s the guy you meet in the beginning and you can slap his hand. I think that’s funny. His god groomed him, though, so that’s no good. Um…yeah, I think Gale standing in water with electric boots talking about books kinda sums up his character for me.

MINTHARA

I thought she was the Drow with the tainted blood, but she’s not. To recruit her, you gotta kill kids, and is it worth it? Some might say yes. I say that we lose Karlach for it, so no. It’s cool that she thanks you for not killing her. Gotta be some good angst there. I feel like most people just kill the Tieflings without thinking, so she’s probably a second play through kind of character.

☆☆BONUS☆☆

JAHEIRA

My friend said she’s coded Hispanic, so now I just imagine her making tacos and burritos in camp for the crew. (Is that racist…? Is it racist if I think she scolds people by hitting them with her shoe?) Mom of the camp, as told by my friend. Elder milf mommy elf. She can hit me with her shoe and I’d thank her and put it back on for her, and I hate feet.

MINSC

Burly Barbarian-looking dude with…a hamster…? I admire the ability of BG3 to make a barbarian with a hamster named Boo, and also make him attractive enough that people would want to romance him. Can you romance him? I feel like BG3 is just a dating sim with extra steps, so he’s *gotta* be dateable, right? Idk, I’d recruit him. I wanna pet his hamster.

[arilynn170]

The Begin (2023)

Me (age 16) and my friend Poppy (age 19) are going to The Jackalope she tells me its a calm to get away from asshole boyfriend Brandon/Gabriel (40 year old) i left without him knowing...

Poppy Summers: You got your fake ID?

Me: Yep I always have it with me when we're doing stuff together.

Poppy: Why are you wearing a dress we're not going to a party or some club it's a bar plus there won't be guys that looks like Ryan Gosling or Harry Styles. There's ugly old fuckers there.

Me: I just like being cute.

Poppy: Well your always cute without the dress wear some like big t shirts and jeans.

Me: Welp to late.

Poppy: If you touched by old pedophile it's your fault.

(I roll my eyes I get in her car and made there it was empty in the bar)

Me: It's all for us.

Poppy: Hm... Weird... Usually there's like I don't know 5 or 10 people here.

Me: Really? Huh well this is my first time being in a bar.

Poppy: I know it's your first silly goose. Im going to get drinks

Me getting sleepy: Ok... I guess.... (Sleep on the table for a little bit I wake up by a tap on my back) I DON'T TOUCH MY BACK!

Lawrence (age 26): Oh I'm really sorry...

Poppy: Are you ok Ari? Who are you?

Lawrence: Lawrence... You?

Poppy: Poppy, why you touch her back she has a scar on her back.

Lawrence: Look I'm really I...

Ren (age 21): Lawrence what's going on? (I look at the black and red hair woman that is next to the blonde hair girl)

(I look at Ren) Hi I'm Ariana Lynn

Poppy: I'm Poppy

Ren: Well hello Ariana and Poppy I'm Ren Hana. Me and my friend Lawrence are just about to get drinks for each other if you want I can buy y'all's drinks

(I fell in love with him I started blushing)

Poppy looked at Ariana: Ari, why you blushing found someone you like?

Me: Huh? Oh I'm just thinking about.... Justin Timberlake nudes... Yeah hahaha...

(Lawrence and Ren look at each other with confusion)

Ren clears his throat: I'm going to the drinks (Ren and Lawrence go get the drinks)

Poppy: Not going to lie Lawrence looks fine he seems chill

Me: Yeah I think I like Ren he's pretty nice and handsome... *Blushing more*

Poppy: You should cheat on Brandon for Ren, because I don't Brandon to keep on hurting you and make isolated

Me: I still love Brandon

Poppy groans

(Ren and Lawrence came with 4 cups whiskey)

Me and Poppy: Thank you

Ren: Yeah no problem *I look at Ariana*

(I took Lawrence drink and then Ren's and Poppy's)

(Ren was shocked and surprised) Oh wow...

Poppy: Really Ari?

Me: What I wanna have fun.

(Ren and Lawrence walk away from us and I hear them arguing)

Poppy: Wanna leave Ari?

Me: Yeah I'm ready to go to your place

(We go outside and then Lawrence come to us he seems upset me and Poppy looked at him and then each other)

Lawrence: .... Ren's path...split from mine...

Me: I'm sorry I guess...?

Poppy: Ari let's leave

(Lawrence then swing his fist at Poppy knocking Poppy out)

Me: Poppy! (I run to the alley I see a fox tail next to a trashcan I go to it, it was Ren)

Ren: Ariana, you ok?

Me: Please help me... He.. he... (I fall on the ground)

(Hours later, I woke up to a beautiful living room) Huh... Where am I?

Ren: Hey your awake, are you ok. This is my house by the way (Smiles at her)

Me: Oh cool, I see your just like me... A beastkin.. I'm a cat girl

Ren: Oh how cute I'm a fox boy...

Me: Oh nice, hey I need to go home

(Ren look at me and then clear his throat) I'm making food for us can you stay for a little bit longer?

Me: Oh ok... What you making fox dude

Ren: Well mashed potatoes, green peas and steak

Me: Do you have steak sauce

Ren: I'll check

Me: Ok (After he left the living room I tried to walk but I heard a chain rattle I look behind me I'm chained and there's a collar on my neck) What the fuck?!

(Ren comes back from the kitchen) Hey you okay? Oh you see the chain

Me: Why are you doing this?! Are you crazy or something?!

(Ren give me displeased look) Well I need a friend

Me: But that doesn't work chaining me like a  goddamn prisoner!

(Ren pull out a remote from his hoodie pocket and then push a button)

Me: AGH!!!! (Fall on the floor)

Ren: I'll be back to get the food

Me: YOUR A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH I'M 16!

Ren: I beg your pardon…? Your 16... Are you kidding me... Well why were you in the bar with that Poppy chick?

Me: Look I had a fake ID so I can get away from my abusive boyfriend

(Ren felt guilt and sadness he turned to me) Why didn't you leave him like break up with him and find someone now?

Me: If I do he'll kill me or sell me... He is a Mexican cartel leader... Has his own cartel... (Started to cry)

Ren: I was in that type of situation but I was kidnapped and but he wasn't a cartel leader he was a murderer and dark web person... You see the faded cuts on my body that's from him...

Me: Who?

(Ren started to tear up) His... His name is Strade... He kidnapped me when I was 19 I met him at a bar I started liking him and then I exited the bar he followed me without me knowing he than attack me and threatened me with a knife... I thought he was a nice person... But he has a dark personality...  After that he tortured me and raped me (cries) But in my heart he loved me because I didn't have anyone that cared about me.. but he did... But he got killed by the person he kidnapped and then both of them died... I should've had saved him... (Cries hard)

(I pull him and hug him)

(Ren hugs me back) I miss him

Me: I don't want to be rude or anything... But he's a bad person he doesn't loves you, he made you feel broken and now you have Stockholm syndrome and PTSD because of him... You should have someone better than him... But you can't trapped or chain a person for no reason your copying what he did to you chaining shocking me or anything awful you feel me...?

Ren: Your- your right... Why am I doing this to a girl like you... Fuck I don't want to be like him, I'm really sorry Adriana I mean Ariana, sorry... Do you hate me for doing this to you?

Me: No. You didn't kill me or anything but you shock me with collar

Ren: I'll take it off of you (Unchain you and take the shock collar off your neck)

Me: Thank you... If you want I'll give you my phone number if you like

Ren: You'll do that...? I can call and text you?

Me: Yes

(Ren hugs me)

Me: You deserve a friend I'll fix you ok I'll send you memes and stuff to me you happy

Ren: Thank you Ariana

(I leave his house)

(I hear the door open it was Ren)

Ren: Ariana you left your purse (walks to me)

I take it: Thanks Ren

(This took forever I was thinking and remembering the some of the lines from BTD2 I did this since July)

[obsessiveshayme]

I'm the anon who was saying Crosby could easily not know abt M@rio's court case and yeah, there's extremely solid reasoning for that: Sid was a child when it happened and even as a teen, the internet didn't exist in a way that he would think to use it to research older players' past court cases. Most people in hockey fandom didn't know about it until recently and other than that you'd have had to go hunting specifically for it since the only articles on it are from the time or archived. (cont)

Young athletes with anything like the kind of focus Crosby has on their future careers literally have no free time that isn’t spent being a carefree kid. I don’t think fans tend to grasp that. Go research what it takes for a kid to be developed into an NHL star. The fact is that, with M@rio and everyone around him doing everything possible to keep that court case from ever resurfacing, it would be nothing short of incredible for Crosby to have been told or happened upon the information. (cont)

The ugly side of professional sports is that when athletes start out young and promising they are all in some way indoctrinated and controlled. Guys like Theoren Fleury suffered it in the worst way, but that kind of psychological control over children happens even without the abuse being present. Crosby is the golden goose to most of the NHL and even apart from the fact that he won’t spend his little free time looking at tumblr or digging up dirt on players, it won’t even be something his mindIf people want to assign guilt to him then that’s their decision but thinking he automatically knows something that it took fans a long time to discover and still only a fraction of fandom to know about, is just silly. Abusers groom the people closest to them to never suspect let along believe anything that would lead them to the truth. People who say Crosby or any of M@rio’s protege’s share guilt with his crimes shows an absolute failure to understand the gravity of an abuser’s power.

Sorry to dump all that on you but I’ve got a real passionate spot when it comes to abuse in professional sports and seeing people dumbly thinking that people closest to a skillful abuser surely know all about it is kind of enraging. Especially when the latest campaigns have shown the public that these types of people groom everyone around them to unknowingly provide a shield. It’s so messed up to claim that everyone else is guilty of one abuser’s evil.

Dude, there were articles about in in 1992: https://www.upi.com/Archives/1992/11/13/Lemieux-reportedly-in-hotel-room-during-alleged-rape/4442721630800/ It could be found if people wanted to. The fandom didn’t know cause they don’t want to know. Mario is a GOD to the Pens. He “saved the team!!!!!” and he’s a hockey legend so that alone will make it so even if people did run across one of the many articles about it they would just not care. 

Hell, the fandom still doesn’t care. This great post: https://enter-remiges.tumblr.com/post/172047148266/mario-lemieux-in-fandom has a handful of notes. People still are putting sports over women. So, this is why I think this conversation needs to be bigger than just Sidney and Mario. It needs to be about the Pens fandom and Mario as well. 

No one is assigning blame to Sidney. People are just having a hard time putting the picture they have of him in their heads together with the guy that would stand beside a dude like Mario. However, I think that’s because his PR has done such a great job of making him a blank slate that people can project pretty much anything on him and that leads to people questioning when he’s not the person they thought he was. 

People forget that he was raised by hockey. That he was being courted by these dudes when he was just a teen. That he’s much different than the rest of us. He was being groomed to be a hockey superstar his whole life However, the thing is that even if he DID know I can see him not caring the way we do. I mean, it’s not like Mario ever hid his shitty ways. He said this about Billy Tibbits:

Here’s what team owner Mario Lemieux had to say about Tibbetts’ return to hockey: “I think that’s a great story. That kid faced so much adversity, did his time, came back after 31/2 years. To find himself in the NHL is a great accomplishment.”

This is after the dude got out of jail. What was he in jail for?

How nice for Billy Tibbetts that he got the chance to overcome his past and go on to a rewarding career with the Penguins. I wonder if the 15-year-old girl he raped in 1992 is doing as well.

Tibbetts was 17 at the time, living with his affluent family in Massachusetts. The girl got drunk at a party and passed out. She was taken behind a warehouse and sexually assaulted.

Tibbetts was charged with three counts of statutory rape – the victim was alleged to have been raped three different ways – and pleaded guilty to one count. The judge gave him a suspended sentence. Sixteen months later, he shot someone with a BB gun and wound up doing 39 months behind bars.

This was in 2001. This was “adversity” and it was a “great accomplishment” to Mario that the dude was back in the NHL. He has never once hid his shitty ways. If this is him in public than who knows how vile he is in private. 

[boyshoujo]

u don't even know me but u already kno me and my personality?? wow u must be a sorcerer.................. but im indeed problematic, and ummm i don't like filet o fish??? i hate her but we go to mcdonald's almost everyday and im forced to eat something so it's the only choice i have........ the meat and chicken at mcdonald's tastes like plastic but that damn fish tastes REAL!!! she isn't fake..............

yea Whatever….. a few days ago u told me that “filet of fish gives [you] emotional support” ???? but when i out u suddenly u hate her??? what’s the truth :/

what’s wrong with hadaka shitsuji???? its a funny game!!! don’t u like the main character tomoaki?? he’s the only good main character ive ever seen in my life and he’s a sadistic bitch??? i love sadistic binches cuz they are like me!!! i felt like “i” was in the game when i saw him, he killed everybody and i was proud of this ugly fuck cuz thats what i would do if i was in this game,,,,,,,,,, i would do more fucked up things than him but anyway, i don’t like fedoras!!!!! i just like that dude-

LFSJLKFSJKSF bceuacuse IT’s A BAD GAME!!!!!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually you remind me of tomoaki???? a lot???? gotta add that to ur callout list……………

-cuz he’s funny and btw he’s the one wearing a purple jacket and his name is hashizuka and that fake loser who is a cheap version of sergei is called junichi :/ and tbh i send u furry asks cuz ur the only one who accepts me for who i really am,,,,,,,,, like i sent some arcana blogs some asks about fucking a fictional goose and a donut kink and they just said “what the fuck” and ehh they’re so serious?? like chill its just a joke jfc sharon :/ i go to their pathetic edgy blogs and this is how they treat me???? i just wanted to cheer ur edgy ass up sharon don’t act like ur 70 dammit just accept a joke lol

LFKSKFSJK bicht i’m literally 0.00039 seconds into the game u rec’d and???? /?? ??? literally ALL of the guys r pathetic???? they go to a school called Charming Cherries lFKJLF AAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS does this mean the principal guy is a Veteran Cherry…………………..binch…. that’s Why he wears a fedora………………………………..i accidentally picked the annoying know-it-all guy so i’ll go for him first and then mayb try the ceo guy……dONUT KINK,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , > >>>???/ ??/ ?? ??? ?? no offense but i’d be like ???????????? GET OUTTA MY INBOX???????? HOW DARE U COME IN AND DISRESPECT MY BRAND LIKE THIS??? ?? ?? ?? ? ………….anyways i wanna hear about the donut kink LOLIKR!!!!!!! !  ! i hate people who r too serious………………………i mean…. im actually p serious Tbh but some people on this website can’t take jokes????? i saw a shitpost where this person was like “some of yall need 2 get mugged lol” and people were like “why do u want people to suffer so bad??? SHOULD I JUST DIE THEN!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!!!!” and im like …………… wtf chill Ashley lmao………

i feel like if i ever met u we would be the best friends ever?? actually i would be the one who’s crying cuz we both have the same taste?? ik a lot of characters like segrei and vincent so if u want me to tell u their names im gonna say it in another ask, and i like how u don’t judge me unlike all of my new friends ;^( i had a friend in middle school in 7 grade and i told her a lot of weird shit and she didn’t judge me??? she was a true friend indeed……………….

give me more sergei characters 👏👏👏👏 also DW im deFINITELY JUDGING YOU LMAO but im amused and laughing at the same time?? sometimes u send me asks and im like ???? ????? ? ?? ?? ?? ? ? ????????wtf lmao ? ??? ?

im sure if we talked more ur gonna find out that we’re literally friend-mates= 2 lonely binches who got the same taste in fictional character and idk but we would be the best bff’s ever tbh?? ur the friend who i have been searching for years?? everyone finds my thirst and my “weeaboo” ass (although im not a fuckin weeaboo im just thirsty for fictional characters!!) too weird and they always say “u can’t take ANYTHING seriously!!” like?? im 5???? why should i take anything seriously?? im not 70??

gfgfg bicth? i don’t even know anything about you, how can we be friends!!!!! WHO ARE YOU!! ! !! ! we should make a Lonely Bitch club but the requirements to enter are: do u play otome? would u body slam lucio into the pavement??? would u fuck the goth fish from finding nemo?? r u a thirsty ho????

i thought u would say “she’s a thot lol” and u would agree with me that she’s a thot??? if we didn’t know each other im trying to know her??? im trying to be friends with her????? how am i going to be friends with her if i didn’t talk to her?? fuck that shitty book??? im more important???? im sure she can read that damn book at her home and not in school!!!!!!! she should study like the rest of us………. and she shouldn’t study HER book!!!!!!!!!!!!

JKSJLSJKSJF i just realized, all of my friendships w/ virgos happened bc they woULDNT STOP TALKING/BOTHERING ME LOL this is why i love virgos…………. ur like stray cats that just never stop meowing until u let them in……maybe u should bother her more FKLSJFKJFS and she’ll finally crack

if i ever tried to read a book it should have pictures in it cuz i don’t want to imagine all that shit by myself!!!!!!! just add a fucking picture jfc…………….. i was exactly like that when i was a kid and im still the same??? i haven’t changed much tbh and im glad???? im glad i still have that silly trait of mine lol 

no offense but READ?????????? imagining things is fun??????????????? books r so much fun????????? wtf???rn im reading a book about some ugly french guy from the 18th century with a Superhuman sense of smell who kills girls to make The Ultimate Perfume or whatever?? im barely like 50 pages in, but he killed his first girl?? and literally shoved his nose up her ass?? it was wild?????? books r wild??????

we’re going to study about christopher columbus this year and his ugly face is in my book???? like bitch why u gotta curse my book with ur disgusting face???? im going to roast this bitch when we get to his part in the book and everyone is going to ask me: “binch y are u angry???” and im like “why don’t u do some fuckin research sharon abt this ugly fuck and then ur going to understand why im angry” like get out of my book u lil bitch!!!!!!! that dam book is cursed now!!!!!!!

👏👏👏 END HIm

I LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER TOO!!!!! im just kidding but what’s ur favorite season???? mine is winter cuz uhhhh its winter???? everyone who hates winter is canceled??? lucio loves summer and is canceled????

fall-winter???? bc halloween…….. and american thanksgiving is fucked up bc it essentially celebrates the genocide of native americans but tbh……..i love turkey…… (we eat roast turkey and mashed potatoes n pumpkin pie n stuff for thanksgiving)also i just love it when the weather gets colder??? i get to dress up??? and be fashionable??? when it’s hot, all i wear are t shirts and shorts which is Boring it doesn’t snow where i live though lmao and it’s typically warm year-round where i live :/ winter is the only time i get to pull out all my cute sweaters and jackets but some winters only get cold for 2 weeks lmao :—–/

so you’re american right???? which means u have halloween rn??? or does it start on 31 if im not mistaken???? sadly we don’t have halloween here……………………………………………. they consider it “an event where people worship satan” here lmao

halloween is only one day (31st) SKJKSJ

i think its hot if batman would ever judge me

KSJKFSJFKLJFSK i;m gonna frame this ask Bye