#durge: nilofynn

[litlunacy]

I really didn't expect to get so attached to Quil in the five minutes before Durge murdered her, but she really is just a sweetheart.

Like, she just wants to write love songs and maybe fall in love herself.

And I maybe feel like Durge will look back on this later and relate to that last part. Quil's clan wouldn't let her fall in love, Durge's shite dad-god makes them try to kill anyone they get too close to. Also the whole "what you want is irrelevant, make babies" bit (I really hate Bhaal for that one).

And for a little Durgetash thrown in, they might even wonder if Enver was their love that they kept all to themself. Because even if they felt it, I don't think they ever said it. And now they don't even remember it.

And now I made myself sad, so have a bonus of Fynn being traumatized by Quil's throat singing.

[litlunacy]

Fynn took over this interaction and I had nothin to do with it. My boy is...so fuckin touch-starved.

Look at his big ol' "oh no, my dream friend is sad" eyes. (Insight: Beneath the resilient veneer, a touch of fragility. He needs comfort.)

Fynn is catching feelings for every man who says a single kind word to him. Baby. Baby boy. My little murderbaby.

Had a bit of a crisis after this wondering if this meant he'd fuck the squid in act 3. Decided that, in canon? No. He'll be with Astarion (and maybe Halsin by that point too), and while Fynn def has feelings for him, he would absolutely insist on discussing it with his other partners first. Post-canon if they meet up again and hash it out a bit? Definitely. His elf lovers can watch too. Or join.

Which also made me realize that Fynn is absolutely letting the Emperor eat Orpheus. That's his friend. Weird squid friend, but still. Sorry Lae'zel.

[litlunacy]

This circlet serves absolutely no purpose on her, but it looks sooo good.

And it goes pretty well with the stag piercings too.

[litlunacy]

A miracle your brain functions at all. Well. That's...something.

Fynn was actually kinda enjoying the Underdark until now. Something homey about it that he couldn't quite place. And now he has to go sit under a mushroom in the fetal position for a few hours because pieces of his brain are actually missing.

Somebody get this man a warm weighted blanket, he's having a(nother) crisis.

[litlunacy]

Fynn: ...does that mean I can ask for a hug? Like, I know you wouldn't have a drink with me at the party, but I think I could use a hug. You look like you give nice hugs.

Nice to know I was right about Fynn thinking Sceleritas was a hallucination. Funny he still calls him one even though he has the physical proof of his existence right there on his shoulders (I love that cape. so much). But also, he really does need a hug, Halsin.

[litlunacy]

Fynn's having a good time at the tiefling party.

Bonus: my boy lookin like a snack all sweaty and covered in blood and leaves probably (too bad his hair covers most of the bite)

Bonus 2: Fynn looking extremely confused by many things. WTF is that nasty scarring on his lover's back. Why is it in Infernal. Why does he know what fucking Infernal looks like he barely knows his own name?? (cuz you ran a heist in the hells with your ex bf thats why)

[litlunacy]

I love Fynn's face in this shot.

Just the sheer WTF is This Thing energy. (To be fair, I would also like to know what the hell Sceleritas is, exactly.)

This is the face of a man 110% sure he's hallucinating now. On top of all the other shit.

[litlunacy]

Fynn: Uh...both? Like, I've got a raven familiar and can talk to animals, but yes there is also something very much Wrong with me.

Fynn: ...actually the only thing I know about drow is that I am one and everyone seems to hate me for it. Please don't hate me?

Fynn: Thanks? I think? Like, I'm trying. I don't know how well I'm succeeding, but I am trying.

Honestly Nilofynn caught a bit of whiplash in this conversation I think. Big bear turns into massive hunk of hot elf, is super polite and grateful, insults him to his face, and wheels right back around to a strange sort of polite again, trying to overlook Fynn's disturbing murderhobo-ness.

Thus begins Fynn's bumbling adventures in polyamory I suppose.

[litlunacy]

So begins my attempt to recruit Minthara on a good run. With her insulting me. Lovely start.

Now turn around so I can knock you unconscious and steal your armor. You'll thank me later, I swear.

[litlunacy]

Once again, the Astral lighting is fantastic. My boy looks so pretty in starlight.

Also, the Durge line here is really funny.

Everybody thinks you want to murder them because you have a habit of murdering people, Fynn. And he has watched you murder people for weeks. Presumably including the bard that you butchered and somehow managed to hide from everyone else.

Obviously Fynn didn't stab him, he likes him too much. Trusts him, even. The feeling might even be vaguely mutual.

[litlunacy]

So I’ve been contemplating Nilofynn’s fey patron again, still trying to get a feel for her. I’d wanted someone a little flighty, maybe a little silly, but also still a typical petty, possessive sorta fey creature. But I figured I’d do a little lore digging to see if there was a canon Archfey that I could use instead of making one up because I’m lazy like that. And uh…I got more than I bargained for. (Ramble-y thoughts ahead, including evil!AU thoughts. Yay!)

I never wanted his patron to be evil, so I was looking into the Seelie Court. And then I thought, wait, wouldn’t it be interesting if his patron was actually Titania, the Seelie Queen? Cuz like, you’d have to be either mad or super sure of yourself to go making a pact with a Bhaalspawn, right? An unpredictable murder machine? But then I thought, why the hell would she want one, especially with Bhaal’s Chosen, made from his own essence?

Well, obviously she offered up the contract while Bhaal was still dead. Duh. Tried to get in there while Bhaal had minimal influence, maybe turn Fynn to the light.

Like, she sees this young man full of so much life and with so much love to give and his affinity for nature and then wham the Urges take over and he murders his adoptive family. He’s broken. So she steps in and is like, ‘hey, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. I can help, you know. I have power. I can use that to help, to keep you calm, to keep you grounded, keep you you.’ Of course it doesn’t always work, and it never works when he falls in love, they always die, but he just can’t stop falling anyway, and Titania is there in the aftermath, giving comfort, consoling him and trying to figure out a way to help him. But she’s not as much of a match for the dead god of murder as she thought, and then Bhaal returns, and it’s worse, it’s so much worse, and Fynn gets darker and becomes the Chosen and she thinks she’s lost him. But then he falls in love with Gortash, and it’s a terrible decision, really, but it’s him, it’s that boy full of love she’s been trying to protect. She has hope.

And then he gets his brain whacked apart and tadpoled, and he forgets it all. Even her. But it’s an opportunity. He’s not the Chosen now, Bhall isn’t whispering directly in his ear, he doesn’t know the terrible things he’s done, the thing his father turned him into. She gets a do-over. She can save him this time. Which is why she refuses to answer any questions about his past. He thinks she’s stringing him along, but she’s really trying to steer him the right way, protect him from his past. And between her belief in him, and the rest of the gang’s belief in him, especially Astarion and Halsin, it works. He does resist his Urges, he does defy Bhaal, he does get his happily ever after with the men he loves and their gaggle of critters and orphans and vampire spawn horde. And it feels like the best pact she’s ever made.

But in my lore digging, I also read about the Raven Queen. Which, the raven has very much been Fynn’s symbol to me since the beginning. He’s mutliclassed into ranger and has a raven familiar. And the Raven Queen’s domain is in the Shadowfell, and she collects memories of loss and tragedy. What’s more tragic than a man forced to kill every person he’s ever loved? So what if she had gotten her claws on him first that day he murdered his family? What if she was constantly whispering even more darkness in his ear? Well, then he’d be a hexblade warlock for one thing, and also he’d end up getting the Slayer form and telling Shadowheart to kill the Nightsong. He’d return to his place as the Chosen of Bhaal. He’d let Astarion ascend. And Halsin would be stuck watching them both feed into the worst of each other, descending further and further into darkness while he can’t do a thing about it. But he can’t kill them either, because he loves them too much and once again blames himself for it all. A big old tragedy all around.

IDK if I’ll do this evil!AU playthrough, but boy am I feeling the vibes. I’d make myself feel terrible the whole while, but it might be fun? I don’t usually do full evil playthroughs in games, but something about this compels me. (Also knowing that it’d just be and AU and in canon they’re all together and happy and being their best selves)

[litlunacy]

He Who Was' bird is a right cunt, isn't it?

Never tried to talk with it before. Fynn definitely regrets it now. (Seriously though, as a Durge who has been Going Through It already, having this bitchy raven say everyone hates you and nobody will miss you when you're dead is, uh...it's something alright.)

[litlunacy]

We have finally recruited Minthara!

Somehow, I feel like she and Fynn are gonna get along just fine.

Now to put some fucking pants on her.

[litlunacy]

I love a fellow warlock's commentary on the act 2 Mizora nonsense when you're trying to negotiate Wyll out of his pact.

You've heard of this provision - better known as the 'You First' clause.

And the look on Fynn's face. The yeah yeah, I got your number bitch face.

Like, I don't think Fynn's Fae patron is anywhere as awful as Mizora (also, tbf, his shitty murdergod dad is 100000x worse than any patron anyway), but it's definitely something he and Wyll can commiserate about that most of the others really don't get. Fynn can't even remember why he made his pact, and his patron sure isn't sharing, but he can't even get her to tell him who he is! Which is really damn rude of her, honestly. (She's hoping to keep him out of Bhaal's clutches so she can get more out of this deal than she's been getting for the past century or so, but still not cool)

They just sit by the fire drinking and talking about how shitty patrons can be after this. Eventually pass out on top of each other in a drunken giggle fit. It's quite a night.

[litlunacy]

I will never get over Silly Shadowheart.

She's just goofin with her bestie. Yanno, trying to lighten up the mood in all this cursed shadow bs. The joke is awful, but her making it is just so freakin cute.

still sad i missed it on Tem's run, cuz they hated each other until like act 3 and Tem just made a potion or something with it idk

[litlunacy]

His face. His fucking face! He's just...really? I can have a hug? Please.

Boy definitely got the sniffles right about now.

You're loved. You're doing great. Everyone will be so proud of you.

Look, he knows these are programmed words and they aren't even meant for him, but they still hit like a gut punch. Fynn's just shaking in this robot's arms trying not to let his companions know he's crying (look, Gale would understand, but Lae'zel? no way. and he sure as shit doesn't want Astarion to notice, he wants the pretty elf to like him).

It's not a hug from either of the men he wanted, but fuck he needed it.