#dyn.: ethan & the miyagi fangs.
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taughtdefense · 6 months ago
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❝ I propose we raise our glasses—To everyone we’ve ever lost because of Cobra Kai. To the friends we couldn’t save, the family we couldn’t hold onto, and the parts of ourselves we’ll never get back because of what the philosophy took from us.
To the innocence we lost the moment this stopped being about karate and became a battle for survival, and our sense of selves. To the people we hurt along the way, the trust that Cobra Kai broke, and the scars that refuse to fade.
But also, to the strength we’ve found through it all. The bonds we’ve built. To the bonds we have that Cobra Kai can never destroy, and the lessons we’ve learned.
For every loss we’ve endured, we’ve gained something, too—a lesson, a memory, a reason to keep going.
Because, despite everything Cobra Kai has taken from us, it can’t take who we are or the strength we’ve found in each other.
So, here’s to what we’ve lost and to what we still have. We keep moving forward—together. ❞ — Ethan Wilson, 4x06.
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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ETHAN, ROBBY, & THE AGONY OF NOT ACTUALLY ONE SIDED PINING.
ethan wilson, 3x05 ( miyagi-do ) // troye sivan, running shoes // christa wolf // ? // ? // ? // ? // robby keene, 3x05 ( miyagi-do )
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taughtdefense · 6 months ago
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I'M A CAREFUL DRIVER. /// I'M A RECKLESS DRIVER.
a study in ethan being forced to watch his loved ones turn into different people under cobra kai's influence.
@taughtpain / @taughtranquility + @recurrere / @mskwtz
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taughtdefense · 1 year ago
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— HE LIKES A BOY, HE LIKES A BOY, HE LIKES A BOY, & I'M NOT THE BOY, I'M NOT— !
@taughtpain
( ft. @taughtmercy & @taughtranquility )
Cobra Kai episode canon: 3x08 ( The Good, The Bad, and the Badass )
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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ETHAN, ROBBY, & BETRAYAL AS A CONFIRMATION OF LOVE.
ethan wilson, 3x10 ( december 19 ) / alan foster, the fall / richard silken, the long and the short of it / comic by alisonzai on instagram / ? / f scott fitzgerald, the great gatsby / fall out boy, miss missing you / f scott fitzgerald, the great gatsby / ludovico carracci, the kiss of judas / robby keene, 3x10 ( december 19 )
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taughtdefense · 2 months ago
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@taughtpain @taughtmercy
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SEVERANCE 2.10 Cold Harbor
#what if i screamed#dyn.: taughtpain.#𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   /   (   𝘽𝘼𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘾����.   )   |   (   DYN.:   ROBBY   KEENE.   /   MIYAGI   CHAMPION.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTPAIN.#𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙀.   /   (   𝘿𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   )   |   (   DYN.:   SAM   LARUSSO.   /   MIYAGI   HEIR.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTMERCY.#𝙁𝙊𝘾𝙐𝙎.   /   (   𝙎𝙏𝙍𝙀𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙃.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIGUEL   DIAZ-WILSON.   /   MIYAGI   FANG   PATH.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTRANQUILITY.#𝙁𝙀𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔.   /   (   𝙏𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙎𝙏.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TORY   NICHOLS-WILSON.   /   COBRA   TEMPEST.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTCRUELTY.#𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙄𝘼𝙉.   /   (   𝘾𝙊𝙍𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI!OT5.   /   MIYAGI   DYNASTY.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#dyn.: taughtmercy.#dyn.: taughtranquility.#dyn.: taughtcruelty.#𝙈𝙊𝙉𝘼𝙍𝘾𝙃. / ( 𝘼𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉. ) | ( DYN.: CK!ETHKEENRY — CK!OT3. / COBRA ROYALTY. ) ⸻ COBRA!ETHAN.#𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙊𝙍. / ( 𝙍𝙀𝙂𝙄𝙈𝙀. ) | ( DYN.: CK!OT5. / COBRA EMPIRE. ) ⸻ COBRA!ETHAN.#𝙍𝙀𝙄𝙂𝙉. / ( 𝘿𝙊𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉. ) | ( DYN.: ROBBY KEENE. / KING COBRA. ) ⸻ TAUGHTPAIN.#𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍. / ( 𝘼𝙈𝘽𝙄𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉. ) | ( DYN.: SAM LARUSSO. / COBRA STRATEGIST. ) ⸻ TAUGHTMERCY.#𝘽𝙍𝙐𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙔. / ( 𝙒𝙍𝘼𝙏𝙃. ) | ( DYN.: TORY NICHOLS-WILSON. / QUEEN COBRA. ) ⸻ TAUGHTCRUELTY.#𝙎𝙏𝙍𝙄𝙆𝙀. / ( 𝙍𝙐𝙄𝙉. ) | ( DYN.: MIGUEL DIAZ-WILSON. / COBRA ENFORCER. ) — TAUGHTRANQUILITY.#dyn.: the ot5. ( taughtpain & taughtmercy & taughtcruelty & taughtranquility. )#// long post
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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❝ back for round two, i see, ethan. you're not worried about your friends witnessing our fight? ❞ terry hums, then narrows his eyes. ❝ don't worry, i'll make it quick. for robby's sake. ❞
the unbridled rage that flashes across ethan's face at the mention of his soulmate doesn't go unnoticed. ❝ i'm not afraid of you. i just want to kill you. ❞ he responds icily.
the boy that is standing in front of the group is vastly different from the one they know. it makes their heads spin. the expression on his face is utterly terrifying. no one has ever seen it on ethan's face before. for some reason, he doesn't feel like he's the same ethan wilson they know - the one who could barely block a punch during the training exercises with sensei toguchi. he's darker.
❝ oh? is that genuine bloodlust i'm detecting right now? ❞
❝ you have no fucking idea. ❞
❝ good. let's get started. ❞
A LEVIATHAN & AN ABOMINATION.
terry silver, 5x10 ( head of the snake ) / CONFUCIUS / ethan wilson, 5x10 ( head of the snake )
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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A conversation between @taughtranquility / @recurrere / Miguel Diaz, & Ethan Wilson, circa 4x05. This is canon for Ethan & my Miguel. Just imagine Miguel is sitting next to instead of Jeremiah, & Ethan instead of Johnny. Nadia & myself may reblog. This is part two. | Part one is here.
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Ethan shakes his head. His hands curl up into fists at his sides. "That’s just it, Miggy. I’m done caring. He’s a traitor of Miyagi-Do, like Nate said. If we hadn’t been friends prior to all of this, I don’t think I’d feel as half as angry as I do. He betrayed the trust I had in him, and ruined the friendship we had." He sighs softly, and his expression becomes more miserable as he continues speaking. "I should’ve never moved to the Valley in the first place. I wouldn’t be feeling like this. This was a mistake."
"Hey, no." Miguel interjects quickly. "Don’t think that. You’re only human. Burying your emotions like that isn’t healthy. And if it’s any consolation, I’m glad you moved here. I’m glad we met. You’re my best friend."
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His words are filled with sincerity, and Ethan finally looks over at him. Miguel meets Ethan's eyes. "…That’s the thing about betrayal, Ethan. It never comes from the enemy." He murmurs, reaching over to take his hand in his own. Ethan's caught off guard to see that his expression is filled with sympathy. It’s like he knows something. Something he won’t - HE CAN’T, HE REFUSES TO! - admit aloud.
The next exhalation of breath feels like it's forced from his lungs. Ethan's completely stunned into silence. His best friend’s words play on an agonizing loop in his head.
BETRAYAL NEVER COMES FROM THE ENEMY.
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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A conversation between @taughtranquility / @recurrere / Miguel Diaz, & Ethan Wilson, circa 4x05. This is canon for Ethan & my Miguel. Just imagine Miguel is sitting next to Ethan instead of Jeremiah, & Ethan instead of Johnny. Nadia & myself may reblog. This is part one. | Part two is here.
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Miguel sits down next to Ethan, looking at the taller boy in concern. Ethan has his earplugs in his ears, but his sunglasses are off for the moment. The case is sitting on the ground next to him. They're both sitting outside of Miguel's apartment, with their backs pressed against the wall next to the Diaz's apartment door. After causing two incidences, Ethan had abruptly abandoned Miyagi-Do practice early in a hurry. Miguel took it upon himself to go after his best friend, to make sure he was okay. It's something Ethan silently appreciates. He'd have done the same for Miguel, or Icarus, or Hawk.
"Hey, Eth."
Ethan doesn't mind the nickname; Miguel is one of the people who can use it whenever he wants. Emma, Talia, Hawk, Charlie & Sam are the others. His parents, too, obviously. Ethan even gave Robby permission to use the nickname, too. Ethan has no interest in being within a ten mile radius of his ex-best friend anymore.
"...Hey." Is what Ethan mumbles instead. His voice is weak.
"Are you okay?"
The brunet scoffs lightly, crossing his arms over his chest. Like a light switch, his look of guilt is replaced with frustration. "Christ." He grumbles in exasperation, dragging a hand down his face. "Everyone keeps asking me that. I’m okay. Really."
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"You don’t have to do that, dude." Miguel begins quietly.
"Do what?" Ethan responds, keeping his tone flat, pretending like he doesn't know what Miguel is referring to. He's not stupid. Miguel knows he isn't. Still, though, the other boy sighs softly. This version of Ethan isn't the same one Miguel knows like the back of his hand. Understandably, he's concerned. Sometimes, he wishes his best friend didn't close himself off, like he's doing right now. Distance himself emotionally. It's something Miguel noticed he's been doing a lot, lately. It's some type of defense mechanism.
"Lie to me, so I don’t have to worry about you. You lashed out at Sensei LaRusso, dude. You hurt Icarus during sparring, too. Even though neither of those things are something you’d ever do if you weren’t hurting. I'm just... All of us are worried about you."
"I’ll apologize to both of them later." He laughs weakly, pushing a hand through his hair. The laugh sounds more like a sob. Miguel's heart breaks in his chest. He didn't realize how badly Ethan was hurting until this very second. He had a feeling that it was bad, but he didn't understand. It makes him angry. Angry at Robby, angry at Cobra Kai, & Kreese, & that new Sensei, Terry Silver. "I didn’t mean to hurt Icarus." Ethan whispers, his voice so small and so unlike him. It makes Miguel want to hug him. "I just seem to keep fucking up."
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Ethan sighs heavily, looking away from Miguel. His shoulders tremble with a sob he forces back. Miguel flinches. "I hate myself for getting so attached to people so quickly. I fucking hate the karate war. It’s only making everything worse."
"Icarus will be fine." He responds gently, placing a hand on Ethan's shoulder. Ethan still doesn't look at Miguel. "He’s tough. Emma & Charlie already forgave you for accidentally hurting their husband, I just know it. I'm sure he did, too. And you’re hurting. It’s normal for someone to lash out like that when they’re hurting. ...Robby hurt you by joining Cobra Kai, didn't he?"
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Ethan's next exhale dies somewhere in his chest, & he still refuses to make eye contact with Miguel, who doesn't look away from him. It looks like Ethan's been sucker-punched in the gut. He reaches up to fiddle absentmindedly with the earplugs in his ears. Miguel knows that that's a nervous habit. "...Yeah. I told him I was in his corner, and… and then he just spits in my face. Like that didn’t mean anything to him. Like… I don’t know. Like I... like I don’t mean anything to him." There are tears in Ethan’s eyes. He doesn’t blink them away. "…I fucking hate him."
Oh. ...Oh.
Miguel doesn't look away from Ethan, simply absorbing his words. As soon as he says he hates Robby, it seems like something clicks in his head - like a missing puzzle piece finally found its home. Ethan doesn't want to read his mind, fearing that the truth will crush him, so he doesn't. He gently bumps Ethan’s shoulder with his arm. The other boy doesn't look over at him, but he does blink rapidly, trying to make the tears go away by sheer force of will. It doesn't work. A few tears slip down Ethan's face. He makes no move to wipe them away.
"I don’t think you really mean that." Miguel murmurs, keeping his tone as soothing as he can manage. "And I don’t think Robby's fully himself, anymore. It’s something Cobra Kai does. It turns you into some dark, empty version of yourself. Look at what I did to Robby during the first All Valley. During the school fight, too." Ethan sighs softly, grimacing. He remembers both incidents vividly. Sometimes he wishes he didn't. Miguel still feels so incredibly guilty over that. "If I could take everything back, I would. I know that he & I haven’t ever seen eye to eye with each other, but… you can’t give up on him. I won't let you."
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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ETHAN WILSON, SAM LARUSSO, & THEIR FRIENDSHIP DURING SEASON 1 ( part one / ? )
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taughtdefense · 4 months ago
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tags under the cut, ft tags for: @taughtpain , @taughtcruelty , @taughtmercy , @taughtranquility , @taughtcruelty , @taughthumanity , @vipersunion , @teachesdiscipline , @opponentcompel , @mskwtz (miya.gi verse)
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𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔𝙍.   )   |   MAIN   VERSE.   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔𝙍.   )   |   MAIN   VERSE.   (   IN   CHARACTER.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔𝙍.   )   |   MAIN   VERSE.   (   POST   SERIES.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙄𝘼𝙉.   /   (   𝘾𝙊𝙍𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI!OT5.   /   MIYAGI   DYNASTY.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙎𝙔𝙉𝙀𝙍𝙂𝙔.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI!SAMETHROBBY.   /   MIYAGI   TRIUMVIRATE.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝙐𝙉𝙄𝙏𝙔.   /   (   𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙎.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI-FANG.   /   MIYAGI-FANG   CONCORD.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   /   (   𝙇𝙀𝙂𝘼𝘾𝙔.   )   |   (   DYN.:   WILSON   FAMILY.   /   THE   WILSON   LEGACY.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.
𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   /   (   𝘽𝘼𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   ROBBY   KEENE.   /   MIYAGI   CHAMPION.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTPAIN.
𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙀.   /   (   𝘿𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   )   |   (   DYN.:   SAM   LARUSSO.   /   MIYAGI   HEIR.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTMERCY.
𝙁𝙊𝘾𝙐𝙎.   /   (   𝙎𝙏𝙍𝙀𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙃.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIGUEL   DIAZ-WILSON.   /   MIYAGI   FANG   PATH.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTRANQUILITY.
𝙁𝙀𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔.   /   (   𝙏𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙎𝙏.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TORY   NICHOLS-WILSON.   /   COBRA   TEMPEST.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTCRUELTY.
𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙋.   /   (   𝙑𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿.   )   |   (   DYN.:   WADE   WILSON.   /   MIYAGI   SENTINEL.   )   ⸻   TEACHESDISCIPLINE.
𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏.   /   (   𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙉.   )   |   (   DYN.:   VANESSA   CARLYSLE-WILSON.   /   MIYAGI   HAVEN.   )   ⸻   TEACHESDISCIPLINE.
𝘽𝙇𝘼𝘿𝙀.   /   (   𝙀𝘿𝙂𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TALIA   WALKER.   /   COBRA   FANG.   )   ⸻   VIPERSUNION.
𝘽𝙊𝙉𝘿.   /   (   𝙇𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏.   )   |   (   DYN.:   HENRY   &   HARPER   WILSON.   /   WILSON   TWINS.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTHUMANITY.
𝙇𝙀𝙑𝙄𝘼𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉.   /   (   𝙄𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙐𝙈.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TERRY   SILVER.   /   COBRA   PUPPETMASTER.   )   ⸻   OPPONENTCOMPEL.
𝙋𝙃𝙊𝙀𝙉𝙄𝙓.   /   (   𝙍𝙀𝘽𝙄𝙍𝙏𝙃.   )   |   (   DYN.:   HAWK   MOSKOWITZ.   /   RENEWED   WARRIOR.   )   ⸻   MSKWTZ.
#𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔𝙍.   )   |   MAIN   VERSE.   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔𝙍.   )   |   MAIN   VERSE.   (   IN   CHARACTER.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔𝙍.   )   |   MAIN   VERSE.   (   POST   SERIES.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙄𝘼𝙉.   /   (   𝘾𝙊𝙍𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI!OT5.   /   MIYAGI   DYNASTY.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙍.   /   (   𝙎𝙔𝙉𝙀𝙍𝙂𝙔.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI!SAMETHROBBY.   /   MIYAGI   TRIUMVIRATE.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝙐𝙉𝙄𝙏𝙔.   /   (   𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙎.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIYAGI-FANG.   /   MIYAGI-FANG   CONCORD.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   /   (   𝙇𝙀𝙂𝘼𝘾𝙔.   )   |   (   DYN.:   WILSON   FAMILY.   /   THE   WILSON   LEGACY.   )   ⸻   MIYAGI!ETHAN.#𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   /   (   𝘽𝘼𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   ROBBY   KEENE.   /   MIYAGI   CHAMPION.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTPAIN.#𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙀.   /   (   𝘿𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉.   )   |   (   DYN.:   SAM   LARUSSO.   /   MIYAGI   HEIR.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTMERCY.#𝙁𝙊𝘾𝙐𝙎.   /   (   𝙎𝙏𝙍𝙀𝙉𝙂𝙏𝙃.   )   |   (   DYN.:   MIGUEL   DIAZ-WILSON.   /   MIYAGI   FANG   PATH.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTRANQUILITY.#𝙁𝙀𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔.   /   (   𝙏𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙎𝙏.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TORY   NICHOLS-WILSON.   /   COBRA   TEMPEST.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTCRUELTY.#𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙋.   /   (   𝙑𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿.   )   |   (   DYN.:   WADE   WILSON.   /   MIYAGI   SENTINEL.   )   ⸻   TEACHESDISCIPLINE.#𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏. / ( 𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙉. ) | ( DYN.: VANESSA CARLYSLE-WILSON. / MIYAGI HAVEN. ) ⸻ TEACHESDISCIPLINE.#𝘽𝙇𝘼𝘿𝙀.   /   (   𝙀𝘿𝙂𝙀.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TALIA   WALKER.   /   COBRA   FANG.   )   ⸻   VIPERSUNION.#𝘽𝙊𝙉𝘿.   /   (   𝙇𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏.   )   |   (   DYN.:   HENRY   &   HARPER   WILSON.   /   WILSON   TWINS.   )   ⸻   TAUGHTHUMANITY.#𝙇𝙀𝙑𝙄𝘼𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉.   /   (   𝙄𝙈𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙐𝙈.   )   |   (   DYN.:   TERRY   SILVER.   /   COBRA   PUPPETMASTER.   )   ⸻   OPPONENTCOMPEL.#𝙋𝙃𝙊𝙀𝙉𝙄𝙓.   /   (   𝙍𝙀𝘽𝙄𝙍𝙏𝙃.   )   |   (   DYN.:   HAWK   MOSKOWITZ.   /   RENEWED   WARRIOR.   )   ⸻   MSKWTZ.#ooc. / mia speaks.#// long post#this took me like 6 hours
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taughtdefense · 8 months ago
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post 4x08/pre 4x09 headcanon
or: in a moment of desperation, ethan records a final voicemail to @taughtpain , assuming he won’t walk away from his confrontation with @opponentcompel alive.
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❝ I LOVE YOU, IT’S RUINING MY LIFE. ❞ /// ❝ YOU’RE CONFUSED & I’M UPSET, BUT WE NEVER TALK ABOUT IT. ❞
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ethan stares at the burner phone in his hand, the glow from the screen lighting up his face in the dark. his thumb hovers over the call button, his stomach twisting in knots. he’s been avoiding this for so long—this conversation, this truth. maybe that’s what got him here in the first place.
he wishes it didn’t feel like goodbye. but after everything, maybe that’s what it has to be.
he dials robby’s number, his breath shaky, knowing full well he’s going to voicemail, either because of the unknown number or because of how late it is right now. the pain in his chest is suffocating, a weight that has been building for months, maybe years. it started when robby joined cobra kai, but ethan knows it goes deeper than that. his breakdown didn’t happen overnight. it’s been a slow burn, starting with every time he pushed his friends away. every time he chose auryn over them.
his voice breaks as soon as the voicemail tone beeps, but he forces himself to speak anyway. he needs to get this out, even if robby never hears it. even if he just deletes the voicemail without ever hearing it, he has to try.
“hey, robby… sorry it’s late, but i don’t even know where to start,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “i’ve been fucking up for a long time now. you’ve probably noticed, but i don’t think you really get it—how bad it’s been.”
that’s the fucking whole point, isn’t it? it’s not just about the words; it’s about laying bare the truth he’s buried for so long. it’s about finally acknowledging the pain & the regret, giving voice to what he’s kept locked away. even if it falls on deaf ears, he needs this moment—he needs to reclaim a part of himself that auryn tried to take.
he grips the phone tighter, memories flooding back like a tidal wave. the way they used to laugh together at the dojo, the easy joy they shared during trio training sessions with sam, & the warmth of living together at the larusso household, where sam, robby, & he only grew closer. he thinks about the fun they had with demetri, emma, seth, & sophie as they all bonded during practices, growing closer as a friend group. those moments feel like a lifetime ago, eclipsed by the darkness that auryn brought into his life. that he let in.
all the times he shut everyone out. all the times he avoided sam, talia, seth, chase, emma, sophie, demetri, robby especially—because auryn had a way of twisting his mind. convincing him that no one else understood him. that no one else could ever care for him the way auryn did.
but it wasn’t love. it was control. & ethan let himself be swallowed whole by it.
“i thought… i thought i was protecting everyone by keeping them at a distance. i didn’t want to drag you guys into my mess. i thought if i just stayed with auryn, if i kept my head down, everything would be fine. i could handle it. i could fix my feelings for you by loving someone else. but i couldn’t. i let him control me. i let him take everything from me.”
his chest tightens, the guilt consuming him. he thinks about the way he snapped at sam when she tried to help him, how he cut off demetri when all demetri wanted was to be there for him. he remembers seth reaching out, concern etched on his face, & how ethan turned away, too ashamed to let him in. being around him reminded ethan of who he used to be—who he wasn’t anymore.
“i didn’t just lose you when you went to cobra kai,” ethan continues, his voice cracking under the weight of his own words. “i lost myself.” he wants to tell him about the 5150 hold. he doesn’t. “& i didn’t know how to stop it. i didn’t know how to fight back. i just kept letting him hurt me. over & over. & to be honest with you, i didn’t even care.”
he almost tells him. the words sit heavy on his tongue, begging to be released, but something stops him—maybe it’s the shame, the fear of how robby would look at think back on him after this confrontation reaches its end, or the thought that admitting to the 5150 hold would make everything feel too real, too raw. he doesn’t want to think about the hold again, not right now. not when there’s more pressing concerns, like terry fucking silver. he can’t bear the idea of robby knowing just how far he fell, how lost he became without him. & deep down, he’s terrified of pushing robby away even more. so he swallows it down, like he always does. because if robby knew the whole truth—the nights spent in a hospital room, staring blankly at a wall, going through the motions of eating & breathing, the way they had to hold him down just to keep him safe—would he even still look at ethan the same? would he even care at all?
almost. such a small word for such a big thing. i almost survived auryn. i almost survived my creators. i almost survived your betrayal. we almost made it.
tears blur his vision, & he bites down on his lip hard, trying to keep it together. his heart aches, the emotions threatening to swallow him whole. he let auryn break him down, & now there’s barely anything left. auryn’s abuse, the way he twisted ethan’s mind—it all shattered him.
“i didn’t fight hard enough for you. i should’ve. god, i should’ve. maybe if i had… maybe if i had just told you how i felt, i wouldn’t be here right now.” his voice is barely a whisper, the words almost lost to the night air. “but i didn’t. i was too scared. if it makes you feel better, you can add me to the list of people who’ve screwed you over.” he takes a shaky breath, the words catching in his throat. “i wish i could take back the moments i pushed you away, the times i chose silence over honesty. i dunno… i i was lost, robby, & instead of reaching out, or trying more, i just… retreated. but i’d fight forever for you. if i could go back, i’d fight harder. i’d never stop fighting for you.”
(“you deserve to see that you have someone in your corner with your own eyes. telling you i’m in your corner is different from proving it. so here i am.”)
so here he is.
in the quiet of his thoughts, ethan’s mind drifts to silver. that man, with his sharp eyes & even sharper tongue, is a master manipulator—much like auryn, but with a far more ruthless edge. ethan isn’t afraid of silver—not anymore. he’s learned to recognize the patterns of fear that used to ensnare him. he’s not the scared kid who backed down anymore. if anything, he feels a twisted sense of clarity; confronting silver is less about survival & more about reclaiming himself. “i’m not scared of silver,” he murmurs, the words firm & resolute. “i’ll face him head-on, no matter what. just like i should have faced my fucking demons before it got this far.” but deep down, he knows this is pointless. robby isn’t listening. hasn’t been, for a long time. his parents’ conversations with robby—mr. larusso’s & uriah’s & sam’s & seth’s & miguel’s & rhydian’s conversations—all fell on deaf ears. he was too far gone to heed their warnings, so this voicemail might not even have a snowball’s chance in hell of breaking through those barriers robby’s put up. ethan wishes he could take robby’s worries & shield him from the pain, reassure him that they’d get through this together. but robby’s been avoiding him, & ethan’s been avoiding him, so nothing matters anymore. “you don’t have to worry about me,” he breathes, his voice steadying. “i’ll handle this. i’ll show you that i can be strong again.”
he wipes at his face, the tears coming faster now. everything hurts. the hurt might cease soon. (that fact both comforts him & terrifies him.) his chest feels like it’s caving in, the weight of everything—his mistakes, auryn, losing robby—all of it is crushing him.
“i don’t know what else to do but end it. i’ve tried, robby. i’ve tried so hard to keep going, but it’s too much. silver… auryn… everything is too much.” his voice breaks, & he chokes back a sob. “i don’t think i’m gonna make it back from this one.”
ethan closes his eyes, the silence on the other end of the phone suffocating. this is the closest he’s ever come to telling robby the truth. how broken he really is. how much he loves him. how much he’s changed ethan. how he wishes things could’ve been different. he imagines robby’s face, the confusion & hurt etched in his features, & a pang of longing shoots through him. he wishes he could see robby’s smile again, the way it lit up his world, even if just for a moment.
“i love you,” he whispers, his voice raw. “i should’ve said it sooner. but i didn’t, & i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry. bye, robby.”
he presses the phone to his chest for a moment, his breath shaky, before finally ending the call. it feels final. like closing a door he’ll never open again.
there’s no going back now.
he drops the burner phone onto the ground & stomps on it once. the phone shatters into bits as expected, but something else happens: the concrete underneath the phone shudders, cracks echoing through the air as the concrete falls apart, & then shifts, a small section collapsing inward as if the earth itself has a hunger. it swallows the phone whole before the ground smooths over again, leaving no trace behind. with his hands trembling, he walks to his car. the drive to the cobra kai dojo feels like he’s on autopilot, going through the motions of driving. his mind is already detached from the moment. he knows what he’s doing. & he knows the chances of him surviving this are slim.
but maybe that’s the point.
this isn’t just about silver. it’s about auryn. it’s his guilt. it’s about everything that’s been tearing him apart, bit by bit. confronting silver is just the final blow. a way to end it all once & for all. he doesn’t expect to walk away from this fight.
& honestly, he doesn’t care anymore if he does.
for the first time in months, maybe even years, ethan feels a strange kind of calm settle over him. it’s the calm of someone who has nothing left to lose. he’s tired of the fight, tired of pushing people away, & tired of drowning in the darkness he once thought he could outrun.
maybe this is the only way to find peace.
his car hums quietly beneath him as he pulls into the strip mall, headlights slicing through the quiet, still night. the cobra kai dojo stands before him, its black & yellow sign providing him only an eerie, taunting sense of calm. of finality. he stares at it, hands gripping the steering wheel as the weight of his decision presses down on him.
for a second, he almost turns back. almost.
but he’s come too far now. there’s no escaping this.
he steps out of the car, every movement deliberate, like he’s already resigned to whatever comes next. the air feels thick, heavy, & as he walks toward the dojo, a strange kind of peace washes over him. this is it.
as he approaches the door, his voice drops to a near whisper as he murmurs, “even if it’s the last thing i ever do.”
& somehow, in that final moment, he finds an odd kind of comfort in the certainty of it all. because after everything, after surviving auryn, his creators, & the betrayals that cut him deepest, there’s one truth that remains.
this is how it was always going to end.
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taughtdefense · 9 months ago
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YEAH, CAN'T TELL IF YOU WANNA SEE ME FALLING OVER & FAILING /// & YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT YOU'RE FEELING
(I THINK I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL)
ethan & @taughtpain looks throughout cobra kai season 4.
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taughtdefense-a · 2 years ago
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tag drop.
dyn. / ​soulmate.: taughtpain. ( robby keene. ) — ❝ the monster has loved you for longer than anyone else. ❞ ( alt verse. / cobra!ethan. )
verse. / ​main.: miyagi-fang. ( miyagi!ethan. ) — ❝ i ached for warmth & peace. the universe laughed at me. ❞
verse. / ​alt.: cobra kai. ( cobra!ethan. ) — ❝ i ached for rage & war. the universe granted it to me. ❞
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