#elhokar kholin has social anxiety

[emjenenla]

I’m safe inside the light, so go on do your worst Part Three [A Stormlight Archive Fanfic]

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Elhokar was a failure at everything he’d ever done. He’d failed as a son, as a warrior and as a king. He saw no reason to fail as a Knight Radiant too. Or the one where Elhokar swears to the first Ideal at the end of WoK.

Warnings: Domestic Violence, Self-Esteem Issues

**Comes back after over two months with this pathetic offering** Sorry, about the wait. I actually have a lot of part four written so hopefully there won't be as much of a wait.

NOTE: While I don’t like Dalinar, I don’t believe that his actions towards Elhokar are consciously malicious. Until halfway through Oathbringer, Dalinar is incapable of realizing that what he did to Elhokar in WoK was wrong and therefore it never crosses his mind that Elhokar might be traumatized by what happened. Dalinar never intends to actually kill Elhokar if it becomes convenient, but he also doesn’t realize Elhokar believes that he would. I’m saying this because I realized that since I’ve never written a meta about Dalinar you have no way of telling the difference between how I interpret Dalinar’s intentions and how Elhokar does.

When Dalinar announced the latest part of his mad plan, Elhokar didn’t even bother wasting time wondering if he was serious. If he’d been less of a coward he might have simply put his head down on the table and groaned, but as it was he just sat stiffly and let everyone else react around him.

“Brightlord, I know we have discussed this before,”  Teshav said, “but I think that the objections raised during that discussion still stand. You’re talking about reforming the storming Knights Radiant, people aren’t going to be okay with that.”

“They’re going to have to get used to it,” Dalinar said. Was he trying to sound to self-assured or was that just how his voice was? “The world is changing and people need to change with it.”

“When people normally say that,” Shadow grumbled from Elhokar’s shoulder. “They are talking about legitimate progress not shaping the world to the whims of a old man with delusions of grandeur.”

“I’m not sure I understand how you chose Amaram for this position,” Navani said. “What makes him the right person?”

“He’s an honorable man,” Dalinar said. “He will lead the new Knights Radiant well.”

“Why don’t you just lead them yourself?” Elhokar muttered under his breath. He was a bit surprised by himself for saying it; it appeared Shadow was rubbing off on him. She buzzed appreciatively.

Dalinar looked at him eyebrows raised. Elhokar’s stomach clenched. “Do you have something to add, son?”

“No,” Elhokar muttered ducking his head. “Sorry for interrupting.”

Dalinar looked at him for another moment then nodded curtly and returned to his conversation with Teshav.

~~~~

“Do you have the wording down?” Dalinar asked as they rode to the dueling arena to watch Adolin’s duel Elit.

“I’ve got it,” Elhokar confirmed. “I’ve been practicing the script you gave me. I have it memorized.”

Dalinar nodded in a slightly satisfied manner. “Good.”

The duel and then boon scheme was actually a really good plan, the best one his uncle had ever attempted as far as Elhokar was concerned, which was probably because the girl Shallan Davar has been the one to come up with it. Elhokar was cautiously optimistic about this working and his high profile role in it meant that he would be directly responsible for correcting the error in judgment that had caused him to appoint Sadeas Highprince of Information in the first place. Shadow still got a little huffy when he referred to it like that but the way Elhokar saw it he really should have known better than to trust either of the two men who had helped his father kill his way into power.

“You’re sure?” Dalinar asked again after barely a minute had passed. He was actually really worried about this plan and Elhokar couldn’t tell if it was because he factored so prominently in it, or if Dalinar just really wanted to get Sadeas. He wasn’t sure which he wanted to be.

“I’ve got it,” he assured his uncle again. “It will be fine.”

~~~~

The thing about Elhokar’s life that was somewhere between sad and ironic was that even when he did his utmost to be helpful and not to mess anything up, he always did anyway.

After everything at the duel fell apart, Elhokar practically fled back to the palace. Kaladin Stormblessed was in prison and Sadeas had wormed his way out the trap. It was all Elhokar’s fault.

Elhokar slammed the door to his chambers in the face of his guards. Both were members of the old lighteyed guard. None of the bridgemen had even moved to follow when he’d left. Elhokar figured that they’d officially gone from simply being willing to stand by and let him die on Dalinar’s orders to actively wanting him dead which was always a bad thing for your bodyguards. Things had never been worse.

Elhokar poured himself a goblet of violet wine. It was a pointless thing to do, but there was nothing he could do now. He knew what was coming, and he’d decided that he didn’t want to be completely sober for it.

“I messed up,” he said to Shadow. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely raise the goblet to his mouth without spilling it. “I really, really messed up this time.”

She did not insult him by denying it. “I’ll be right here with you,” she said. “No matter what happens.”

“Thank you,” Elhokar whispered.

There were voices outside in the hallway. Elhokar drained the rest of the goblet and set it next to the pitcher before carefully stepping to the center of the room, trying to brace himself as best he could. The door opened and Dalinar Kholin, the Blackthorn, stalked him. His face was a mask of annoyance and his body was held stiffly. He did not look happy that his plans had been spoiled yet again.

Elhokar had entertained some small hopes of being able to meet Dalinar’s wrath in a manly, stoic way fitting of a king, but the instant he saw his uncle the small measure of courage he’d managed to summon collapsed.

“I’m sorry; I panicked,” he said, his words tripping over each other as they raced to get out of his body. “I had practiced just giving Adolin the boon, and I didn’t know what to do when-”

“Do you understand how far behind Sadeas this has put us, son?” Dalinar interrupted. His voice was cool, much cooler than it had been the day he had thrown Elhokar around the room, but that did not make Elhokar feel any safer. He backed away by instinct, cursed himself for the cowardice, but didn’t stop.

“You knew what you were supposed to do,” Dalinar said. He sounded so calm. It was worse that it would have been if he was yelling. How was Elhokar supposed to know when he was going to attack like this? “There were ways to deal with Captain Kaladin without letting Sadeas get away. I was trusting you to find them.”

Elhokar’s back hit the wall. There was no where else to retreat to. When was Dalianar going to attack? When was he going to say that he had decided Elhokar wasn’t worth the effort necessary to keep him alive? Elhokar was shaking so hard he felt like he was going to collapse. He could hear buzzing, but he wasn’t sure if it was Shadow or his own ears.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

Dalinar ran a hand through his hair. “I know you are, son,” he said. “We were just so close…”

“Brightlord,” a voice said.

Dalinar turned towards the guard standing in the doorway. “Yes?”

The guard--Koen--saluted. “Brightlady Navani Kholin is outside. Do you want to see her?”

“Yes,” Dalinar said. “Let her in.”

Koen nodded and saluted again before heading out of the room. Dalinar didn’t look away from the door and Elhokar tried to pull himself back to together. He cursed himself for being so weak. A real Alethi man would be able act unaffected, but it had already been established that Elhokar was a failure at everything even performing gender. He shouldn’t be surprised by how weak and unmasculine he was being.

Koen held the door open and Navani came in. She looked just as frustrated as Dalinar had. “I can’t see any loopholes in Sadeas’s response,” she said to Dalinar. “I’ll look more thoroughly, but I don’t think we’re going to be able to get him and Adolin into a dueling ring any sooner than next year like he specified.”

Elhokar wanted to melt into the floor from shame.

“Thank you for trying,” Dalinar said. He sounded tired not angry, which didn’t make any sense.

Navani looked past Dalinar. “Are you alright, Elhokar?”

Too late, Elhokar realized he was still leaning against the wall like he was about to slide down to the floor (which to be fair, he was). He attempted to straighten up. “I’m okay,” he said in a disgusting, trembling voice. “Everything’s fine.” He winced. What a lie.

“Elhokar,” Navani said. “It’s alright. You’re not to blame for panicking; the bridgeman was out of line and should have realized that what he did would mess up the plan. There were better ways you could have dealt with the situation, but we’ll find another way to corner Sadeas.”

Elhokar couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t see Dalinar’s face so he had no idea how he was reacting to what Navani was saying. Elhokar needed to get out of here. As far as he knew Navani didn’t know what Dalinar had done to convince Elhokar to name him Highprince of War. Dalinar had probably never told her and Elhokar didn’t want to know what Dalinar would do if the secret somehow got out. He needed to get away from here before he did something to blow it.

“I’m sorry,” he got out. His voice was still trembling. “But I have...something...that I need to be doing. I should go.”

He left the room without waiting for a response.

~~~~

Surprisingly, Dalinar never moved to restart a conversation about Elhokar’s failure at the duel. Elhokar had no idea why that was, but waiting for it was almost worse than it happening. He was barely sleeping. He was drinking more than ever. He was drowning in his own failure. Shadow tried to help, but Elhokar was mostly tuning her out these days. None of her encouragement was helpful, especially not now that there was ample proof that everything she said about him was a lie.

When Dalinar and the others made their plans to march into the Shattered Plains to take the Parshendi in their own home, Elhokar stayed out of the way. He’d made it blatantly clear that he ruined any plan he touched so it was for that was for the best. He couldn’t even look any of the bridgeman guards in the face and half expected one to put a spear through his back in revenge. He half believed that was what he deserved.

~~~~

In some ways, everyone leaving for the Shattered Plains and traditional Alethi glory was a relief, if only because it meant he could drink himself into a stupor without worrying about his mother or Dalinar walking in on him. Elhokar paced his chambers, goblet held in one hand. He was steady on his feet, but fully aware that was only because of the Stormlight. Shadow buzzed tensely on his shoulder. “Maybe you should stop,” he said. “Or at least eat something; I’m worried about you.”

“You shouldn't be,” Elhokar said. “I’ve destroyed everything.”

“Elhokar-”

“Don’t give me any more of that,” Elhokar spat. “This is exactly why I never wanted to become king. I never told you that before, did I? I wasn’t really sad when my father died; I just really didn’t want to be king. Granted, Dalinar was the only one who really was sad; Jasnah took our father’s death as a person failure, and I don’t know how Mother felt, but still: my father died and I was more worried about taking the position I’d been raised for from birth than sad for him!”

“Oh,” Shadow said in a strange tone of voice. “You realize that was a Truth, don’t you? Elhokar-”

And then Elhokar was falling through nothing. He reached out, fingers stretching for a table or a chair or anything to grab on to, but there was nothing. He braced himself to slam into the Soulcast stone floor, but he didn’t. He splashed into an ocean of beads.

He sunk down into the beads, the descent slower than water but still steady. They closed over his head and he struggled, trying to swim back to the surface, but he just kept sinking further and further down. He thrashed in panic, but that only made him sink faster. Vaguely he could hear Shadow screaming for him, but he couldn’t respond. There were beads in his ears and mouth and throat. He was going to drown in them. He was going to die here, wherever here was. He wanted to return to his chambers were it was safe. He wanted to go back to badly.

He back hit solid stone and the beads vanished. He was lying on his back on his chamber floor. Shadow was twisting in terrified circles next to his head, buzzing loudly.

“What was that?” he asked. His voice sounded wrong even though the beads were all gone. There was not even a taste left. “Please tell me it was a dream.”

“That was Shadesmar,” Shadow said tremulously. She was almost as freaked out as he was. “In time you’ll learn to-”

Elhokar didn’t wait to hear the rest of what she was going to say. He scrambled to his feet which were now unsteady for reasons that had nothing to do with all the alcohol he’d consumed. He crossed to the door and hauled it open. “Moash?”

“Yes?” Moash asked. “Your Majesty?” For something reason his honorifics always sounded tacked on, like he had to remind himself to say them.

“Get my carriage,” Elhokar ordered. “I need to speak to your captain.”

~~~~

Kaladin Stormblessed was supposed to be confined to his quarters recovering from his chasmfiend wounds, too weak to come to the palace to supervise his men. Elhokar knew this because he’d asked for the man once or twice figuring that was probably what he was supposed to do in Dalinar’s absence and had been told that the bridgeman couldn’t come. Elhokar wasn’t sure why he was surprised to find that Kaladin was actually well enough to go on walks around the warcamp in the middle of the Weeping but was still backing out of his duties; after all, Elhokar wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the man that had gotten him thrown into prison either.

Knowing that, Elhokar wasn’t sure why he was standing in the bridgeman’s quarters waiting for him. He should go back to the palace, but he had no idea how to deal with what had just happened to him. Kaladin Stormblessed seemed like the only person who might be able to help. There had always been something not quite normal about him, even before Adolin had sworn up and down that the bridgeman had somehow healed from a Shardblade wound during the Assassin’s attack.

“Your Majesty?” a voice asked just as Elhokar was starting to wonder if the bridgeman was ever going to return.

“Ah,” Elhokar said, turning around. “Bridgeman. This is really all that Dalinar assigns one of his officers? That man. He expects everyone to live with his own austerity. It is as if he’s completely forgotten how to enjoy himself.”

Kaladin and Moash exchanged an obviously judging look and Elhokar hoped he wasn’t turning red. He didn’t really care what kind of quarters Dalinar had given Kaladin, he had just wanted to say something to cover up the awkwardness and to keep from getting carried away thinking about how much this man must hate him. Obviously, he’d just made things worse. Again.

He tried again, “I was told you were too weak to make the trip to see me. I see that might not be the case.” Also bad. He winced internally. Can’t you say anything right?

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” Kaladin replied. “I’m not well, but I walk the camp each day to rebuild my strength. I feared that my weakness and appearance might be offensive to the Throne.”

“You’ve learned to speak politically, I see,” Elhokar loathed political-speak. It made it much too easy to read between the lines and think the speaker hated you, though, to be fair, most people did hate the people they used political-speak on. “The truth is that my command is meaningless, even to a darkeyes. I no longer have authority in the eyes of men.”

Storms, that was way to honest. He should never have come here. He was panicky, exhausted and just a little too drunk to make good decisions about what to say. He should have waited until he could hold his tongue.

“Out, you other two,” he ordered Moash and Taka. “I’d speak to this man alone.” At least this way he’d only humiliate himself in front of Kaladin.

When Moash and Taka were gone, Elhokar tried to figure out what to say. He hadn’t even know what he’d have said if Kaladin had come to the palace, and he wasn’t entirely sure what had driven him to come here today.

“How did you know how to be a hero?” he blurted out.

The question surprised the bridgeman and it surprised Elhokar for a second too, but only for a second. He was supposed to be a Knight Radiant. How was he supposed to do that if he didn’t know how to be a hero?

Kaladin said something inane about luck and then Elhokar was talking again. He was rambling about how he was always failing at being king and disappointing everyone. He’d never been this honest to anyone other than Jasnah and Shadow, and he could tell that he was making Kaladin uncomfortable. Finally Elhokar managed to rein in the torrent of words and cursed himself for coming here. He was in the exact wrong frame of mind for this.

“I want to be a king like my father was,” he finished. “I want to lead men, and I want them to respect me.”

“I don’t…” Kaladin said. “I don’t know if that’s possible, Your Majesty.”

Elhokar held himself very still. “Do you think me a bad king, bridgeman?” he asked slowly once he’d regained the ability to speak.

“Yes,” Kaladin said.

He had the honestly, the decency, to look Elhokar in the eye as he said it and some very small part of Elhokar was grateful for that even as hearing someone say exactly what he’d feared people believed about him for most of his life tore him apart inside. He tried to balance the full soul-crushing weight of Kaladin’s words where it wouldn’t destroy anything major until he was safely alone.

“Well,” he said because he needed to say something to make it seem like that word hadn’t hurt. Gavilar would have just let the comment roll off and then magically it would have turned into ammunition he could use. Dalinar would have simply killed anyone who insulted him. Elhokar could do neither. All he could do was hang on and hope Kaladin couldn’t see how that little word was going to destroy him. “I did ask. I merely have to win you over as well. I will figure this out. I will be a king to be remembered.” That sounded confident, right? Or did it just sound pathetic? He couldn’t decide.

“Or you could do what is best for Alethkar and step down,” Kaladin said, still brutally honest.

That almost broke Elhokar’s precious wall of calm. “Do not overstep yourself, bridgeman,” he snapped. “I should never have come here.”

“I agree,” Kaladin said, coolly but without a hint of malice.

Elhokar fled. He did not mention the strange place full of beads.

~~~~

After returning from the bridgemen’s barracks, Elhokar headed directly for his chambers. He tried without success to ignore the presence of the other guards, but it was hard. They were whispering and shooting each other looks behind his back. Every once and a while he heard what they were saying, whispers of the same things Kaladin had said. They all thought he was a terrible king who should step down. They all thought Dalinar would be better off in charge.

Perhaps they were right. Who was to say that if Gavilar and Navani hadn’t had another son that child wouldn’t have become king? Perhaps if Gavilar had been able to see the true depths of his son’s weakness and cowardice he would have made Dalinar heir. Elhokar had always assumed that his life would be better if Gavilar had survived but perhaps then his life would have ended in a convenient accident to get rid of an unworthy heir to the throne.

The guards would not stop whispering. It was driving Elhokar mad. He knew he was unfit. He knew that he was failing. Why did they have to rub his face in it?

By the time they reached his chambers he was shaking so badly he could barely stand. He pulled the door open by himself and leaned against it. What did it matter if he looked weak when everyone already knew he was?

“Stay out here,” he told Moash and Taka. His voice was shaking and he hated it. He hated himself.

“But--Your Majesty--” Moash said. “How are we supposed to protect you if we can’t see you?” His tone of voice sounded almost mocking but surely Elhokar was just imagining that.

“I don’t care,” Elhokar growled. “Stay out of my sight.” Then he forced himself into his chambers and slammed the door behind him.

He stumbled across the room and poured a goblet of violet wine. He spilled a not inconsiderable amount all over the table, but he didn’t care. He practically dumped the contents of the goblet down his throat and poured another and then another.

Shadow buzzed sharply. At some point she’s transferred from his shoulder to the table. Though she had no face he got the distinct feeling that she was judging him with a raised eyebrow. “What?” He asked.

“I wish you wouldn’t drink so much,” Shadow said. “Do you feel better about yourself when you do?”

“Does it matter?” Elhokar snapped.

“You don’t need to do this,” Shadow said. “You could do great things if you just tried.”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Elhokar asked. “The only great thing I could do is get out Dalinar’s way.” He downed another swallow of wine.

“Never,” Shadow snarled. “You must never let that man gain any more power than he currently has.”

“But I’m failing,” Elhokar said choking back a sob. “You heard them. They all know it.”

“Then you need to keep trying,” Shadow said. “And if you fail again you need to try again. You are a Knight Radiant; you cannot lie down and let people take everything from you.”

“Where are you pulling these delusions out of?” Elhokar finished off the goblet. “I’m not a Knight Radiant. Amaram is the leader of the Knights Radiant--or he was, at least--and no one would ever let me join magic powers or no magic powers.”

“I chose you not Amaram,” Shadow snarled. “Do you insult me by suggesting that I didn’t know what I was doing?”

“You don’t remember much about before you came here!” Elhokar shot back. He was shouting, but he found he didn’t particularly care if the guards heard. “How do you know that you knew what you were doing?”

“I knew what I was doing,” Shadow said sharply. “I remember enough to know that I knew.”

Elhokar snorted and turned away from her. He went to refill his goblet, then just tossed it aside and drank directly from the bottle. The violet wine burned like fire going down, but he didn’t care, he even enjoyed it.

“Elhokar,” Shadow said, very quietly, almost like she was afraid to set him off again. “Regardless of everything, you really shouldn’t be drinking tonight. Something bad is going to happen. It’s not safe.”

“I don’t care,” Elhokar said and took another swig from the bottle.

[moiraineswife]

Jasnah - The Facade Meta

Today we’re going to discuss the stormlight of my life, your life, your cat’s life: Jasnah Kholin. Topics of discussion include (but will likely not be limited to): the face she wears, the effect her childhood and what we know if it has had on her, madness, her mother, her perceived invincibility, and whatever else strikes me as relevant in the midst of this chaotic clusterfuck of yelling tarted up as character analysis. 

Now. To business:

Let us begin at the beginning (of what we know) and talk about Jasnah’s childhood illness, and what this has done to her in terms of her relationship with her mother, her outlook on life, and her perception of, well, perception…

“It’s your daughter,” Dalinar guessed. “Her lunacy.”

“Jasnah is fine, and recovering. It’s not that.”  (OB, 49, Born Unto Light)

Peppered through Dalinar’s flashbacks in Oathbringer are small hints at the dark side of Jasnah’s childhood. We’ve had hints before that Jasnah’s life has not always been...entirely typical for a princess.

Her existence as a radiant was a hint itself, as it's implied most of them are ‘broken’ in some way.

The others are more obvious: Kaladin’s depression, Shallan’s PTSD, anxiety, and DID, Dalinar’s repressed memories, and alcoholism etc,etc.

With Jasnah, you know it has to be there, but it’s harder to see. To use Shallan’s metaphor, she’s like a cracked vase, but the cracked side has been turned to the wall, so the outside world sees only smooth perfection.

This flashback comment is the most obvious indication at what caused Jasnah to break. A fairly shocking one for a reader as 'Jasnah' and 'lunacy' seem to match as well as chasmfiends and tea parties.

It also provides some rather awful context for this segment a few chapters earlier:

“Something stirred deep within her. Glimmers of memory from a dark room, screaming her voice ragged. A childhood illness nobody else seemed to remember, for all it had done to her.

“It had taught her that people she loved could still hurt her.”   (O, 47, So Much Is Lost)

We know, given Shallan’s research into Taln at the behest of the Ghostbloods, that the current treatment for madness involves confining the person in darkness.

It seems like far too much of a coincidence that Jasnah, diagnosed with lunacy, would have memories of screaming herself hoarse in a dark room that could somehow be unconnected to this.

Based on my shoddy maths, she was around 11 or 12 at this point, which is marked by many, especially Navani, as a turning point in her life. There was a profound change in how she acted with those around her following this.

“She wouldn’t let me be a mother to her, Dalinar,” Navani said, staring into the distance. “Do you know that? It was almost like . . . like once Jasnah climbed into adolescence, she no longer needed a mother. I would try to get close to her, and there was this coldness, like even being near me reminded her that she had once been a child. What happened to my little girl, so full of questions?” (WoR, 67, Spit and Bile)

It seems like too much of a coincidence, again, to assume that Jasnah’s childhood illness and her confinement had nothing to do with her reluctance to allow Navani to mother her any more.

Jasnah herself reflects that her imprisonment, for lack of a better word, taught her that people she loved could still hurt her. It seems very likely that this refers to Navani and Gavilar, as they would have allowed this treatment to continue. It’s also likely the reason for the change in their relationship afterwards.

Navani's presence didn't remind her she had been a child; it reminded her of what had been done to her.

Navani’s little girl was branded insane and locked away in a dark room with her parents' consent. This removed her ability to trust in Navani to mother and protect her. She kept her distance, she kept herself aloof and removed from everyone, and that’s something that hasn’t changed over twenty years later.

She takes no wards, an expected thing for a woman of her rank. She's unmarried, well past the age she should be. She has no friends, the closest she has are both "pen pals" she communicates with via spanreed.

Jasnah, of all the characters in Stormlight, is the one least emotionally connected. She clearly loves her family, and is devoted to them...But again it's from a distance.

She works in the shadows with assassins to protect them. She studies the end of the world a world away from everyone she loves.

When we see her in Kharbranth for the first time with Shallan, she’s alone.

The servants she uses seem to belong to the Palaneum. She travels alone, she researches and works and bears her burdens alone.

The sole exception is Ivory and she doesn't really have a choice with him BUT to have him with her.

I am NOT suggesting that Jasnah doesn’t actually care about her family/Shallan - we see repeatedly that she absolutely does.

Poignantly, the first thing Renarin’s visions predict that turns out to be false is the lack of love that Jasnah has - they claim she will choose logic and kill her cousin, but she chooses to save him instead.

It’s clear that Jasnah cares very deeply...but she also deliberately distances herself, both physically and emotionally, from other people.

(continued below)

Jasnah is so independent that it’s almost a flaw. She’s an interesting opposite to Kaladin, in this regard.

Kaladin defines himself so much by those around him, his family, his men, those under his care and protection, that that almost becomes a flaw in him. He destroys himself to protect them, and every failure wrecks him.

Jasnah keeps everyone away. She operates alone, in secret, and she clearly struggles to let people get close to her.

The reasons for this are twofold, I feel.

The first one is assassins: Jasnah has been ‘killed’ by one such assassination attempt, has survived another, who made multiple attempts on her life in the form of Kabsal, and has almost certainly experienced more beyond that.

Her casual expectation that Kabsal is trying to use Shallan to get close to her, likely, though she doesn’t say it, to kill her - which turns out to be true.

She knows firsthand how easy it is for someone with enough money and influence to place spies and assassins into a setting- she does it herself all the time. And it resulted in the death of her father.

In a lot of ways, she’s as paranoid about assassination as Elhokar is - she just expresses it in a far more subtle/rational way. Where Elhokar rants and panics, Jasnah blocks up air vents and rejects rooms in the 90000 foot, lost for centuries, tower with balconies because they're a security flaw.

The second reason for her emotional isolation, I believe, is what caused her initial withdrawal from Navani.

Being believed mad, locked in a dark room, screaming for help and being ignored, and knowing that your parents, the people whom you went to with questions and looked to for safety and protection are at least partially responsible, all at the age of eleven is...fairly damaging.

Jasnah hides the effects of her trauma far better than Kaladin or Shallan. This is probably partially because she’s older and has been dealing with it for longer.

By this point, her trauma reactions (which went, by her own admission, unaddressed by her family after what happened, which is traumatising in itself), have melded in with her personality/are brushed off as simply Jasnah being Jasnah.  

“I know what people say of me. I should hope that I am not as harsh as some say, though a woman could have far worse than a reputation for sternness. It can serve one well.”  (TWoK, 8, Nearer the Flame).

As a matter of fact, we know full well that Jasnah ISN’T as harsh or stern as she’s claimed to be. Shallan repeatedly affirms to Kabsal, and to a reader, that Jasnah is not what she expected - a stern, harsh mistress. She also notes that Jasnah believes herself to be one - likely due to everyone else perceiving her that way.

I think the perception of Jasnah is one that she’s cultivated deliberately - a stern, aloof, even harsh person. Not one anyone would want to be close to. Also not someone anyone would associate with weakness, or needing to be cared for or protected.

More than assassins, I think Jasnah fears people who love her with good intentions, and the ability to assert those good intentions upon her, because it's "for her own good".

When she was a child it led to her imprisonment, something which still triggers traumatic flashbacks over ten years later. She fears having people she loves hurt her. And so she keeps them away, and cultivates for herself a presence that doesn’t need to be cared for, that almost doesn’t need or want to be loved, so that can never happen again.

She rejects, most notably and strongly, her mother, and any implication of a husband. This has led to speculation about her sexuality - maybe she’s gay - though it seems fairly acceptable in Alethkar for a person to be gay (they don’t even have to fill out social reassignment forms!). I

It might be more frowned upon in noble society, due to the expectation of forming political marriages, and while I don’t necessarily doubt it (give me queer Jasnah, Brandon, I beg of you, I’m a starving lesbian and I need this) the only commentary we have from Jasnah on the subject sems to suggest a different, sadder, motive:

Jasnah relaxed visibly. “Yes, well, it did seem a workable solution. I had wondered, however, if you’d be offended.”

“Why on the winds would I be offended?”

“Because of the restriction of freedom implicit in a marriage,” Jasnah said. “And if not that, because the offer was made without consulting you.

[...]

“It doesn’t bother you at all?” Jasnah said. “The idea of being beholden to another, particularly a man?”

“It’s not like I’m being sold into slavery,” Shallan said with a laugh.

“No. I suppose not.” Jasnah shook herself, her poise returning.

(WoR, 1, Santhid).

This is the only time, after an entire book of content in which Jasnah, amongst other things: Soulcasts three men into oblivion, is almost assassinated repeatedly, is betrayed by the first person she’s taken in and trusted in a long time, and is researching the literal end of the world, that Shallan notes Jasnah looking nervous/uncomfortable in discussing anything.

And it’s about marriage.

Jasnah views marriage as being a ‘restriction of freedom’ and finds it distasteful because it encompasses the idea ‘of being beholden to another’.

Anything that even implicitly binds her to another or puts them in her power is something she wants nothing to do with. And, legally, if she were ever to be accused of lunacy again, the two people most likely to have the authority to make a decision on her treatment/send her back to the ardents would be either a parent, or a husband.

The first she’s distanced herself from in pretty much every way since the first event, and the second she’s refused to entertain for years, to the point that high society whispers that she must be gay.

I also think she's uncomfortable because she sees what she did here - setting up a betrothal, which she views as a restriction of freedom - for Shallan, without consulting her, as the same thing that was done to her as a child.

A restriction of freedom for Shallan’s own good. The same justification that was used to imprison her. It's obviously not the same, but Jasnah views marriage as a kind of imprisonment. So in her mind it is.

Jasnah also has huge trust issues. She just covers them with what appears to be personality traits - of being independent, and aloof - but that’s largely just a cover for her own insecurities, and her fear of ever having her freedoms restricted again.

This idea also gives a little bit more of a twist (or dramatic gut punch, thanks Brandon), to her advice to Shallan about perception and power:

“Power is an illusion of perception.”

Shallan frowned.

“Don’t mistake me,” Jasnah continued. “Some kinds of power are real—power to command armies, power to Soulcast. These come into play far less often than you would think. On an individual basis, in most interactions, this thing we call power—authority—exists only as it is perceived.

“You say I have wealth. This is true, but you have also seen that I do not often use it. You say I have authority as the sister of a king. I do. And yet, the men of this ship would treat me exactly the same way if I were a beggar who had convinced them I was the sister to a king. In that case, my authority is not a real thing. It is mere vapors—an illusion. I can create that illusion for them, as can you.”  (WoR, 1, Santhid)

Jasnah is talking here with Shallan about being more confident, assertive, and being able to have people do what you want (Something Navani later notes Jasnah is very good at doing).

But I think Jasnah uses this same idea - the power of perception, as a defence mechanism against her trauma, a way to protect herself.

We dismiss her isolation as aloofness. We dismiss her lack of emotional reaction as a cornerstone of the "strong female character" trope. But I think it's deeper than that. Because Jasnah isn't ACTUALLY like that deep down. It's a perception she works very hard to achieve.

Jasnah uses logic in a similar way to how Shallan uses art and drawing, or how Kaladin uses training with the spear. It’s a distraction, a grounding technique, something she can calm herself with. It’s an anchor and a crutch all at the same time.

Jasnah is logical to a fault, to the point that it makes others see her as a monster lacking empathy. I don’t think, at any point in the last few books, we’ve seen Jasnah genuinely distressed/angry/displaying emotion to the point she’d be considered out of control.

Almost all the other POV characters have had moments of weakness/breakdowns/extremely poignant emotional displays. But not Jasnah. All we ever see from Jasnah is the controlled, cultivated perception that she wants us to see. Something which I think is rooted in her trauma.

Logic is the antithesis of lunacy. Rational thought is the direct counter to madness. If the whole world sees Jasnah as logical, utterly in control of herself, if that is the perception she has everyone believe at all times then she can’t be accused of madness again.

Madness, at least in Jasnah’s mind, is an outburst of excessive, uncontrolled emotion. It is the opposite of logic. It’s acting impulsively, without thought, based purely on emotions. Ivory supports this idea:

“Ivory, you think all humans are unstable.”

“Not you,” he said, lifting his chin. “You are like a spren. You think by facts. You change not on simple whims. You are as you are.”

She gave him a flat stare.

“Mostly,” he added. “Mostly. But it is, Jasnah. Compared to other humans, you are practically a stone!” (O, 39, Notes)

Even Ivory, who has been closer to Jasnah in recent years than anyone we know of in the series so far, characterises her this way.

She rejects this idea, telling Ivory that:

 “You call me logical,” Jasnah whispered. “It’s untrue, as I let my passions rule me as much as many.”  (O, 39, Notes)  I think this is true, she does let her passions rule her, but she doesn’t let anyone, even Ivory, see that from her.

That's deliberate. She deliberately makes herself out to be this logic-driven robot, with no feeling or passion.

To the world, Jasnah Kholin is the consummate scholar, the eternally logical thinker, untouched by empathy or feeling. This is how she wants them to think of her.

We know that it’s not true. We know that Jasnah is driven by emotions - her guilt at feeling like she failed Gavilar, her fear for what’s coming for the world, her love for her family, her true passion for scholarship and knowledge.

This is particularly notable when set against a character who exemplifies the opposite in so many ways: Kaladin.

“Yes. The answer is obvious. We need to find the Heralds.”

Kaladin nodded in agreement.

“Then,” Jasnah added, “we need to kill them.”

“What?” Kaladin demanded. “Woman, are you insane?”

“The Stormfather laid it out,” Jasnah said, unperturbed. “The Heralds made a pact. When they died, their souls traveled to Damnation and trapped the spirits of the Voidbringers, preventing them from returning.”

“Yeah. Then the Heralds were tortured until they broke.”

“The Stormfather said their pact was weakened, but did not say it was destroyed,” Jasnah said. “I suggest that we at least see if one of them is willing to return to Damnation. Perhaps they can still prevent the spirits of the enemy from being reborn. It’s either that, or we completely exterminate the parshmen so that the enemy has no hosts.” She met Kaladin’s eyes. “In the face of such an atrocity, I would consider the sacrifice of one or more Heralds to be a small price.”

“Storms!” Kaladin said, standing up straight. “Have you no sympathy?”

“I have plenty, bridgeman. Fortunately, I temper it with logic.”  (O, 39, Notes)

Ah, the old ‘punt the Heralds back to Damnation to buy us time’ argument. Lovely.

Jasnah and Kaladin are at two different ends of the sympathy-logic spectrum and it was kind of inevitable they’d clash. But I think it makes Jasnah’s assertions more...Stark and shocking, when she pitches them to Kaladin.

What she suggests IS logical. And it’s actually the same sort of logic that led the Heralds themselves to abandon Taln to Damnation in the first place: “better that one man should suffer than ten.”

It’s a cold, harsh, brutal logic, and it’s very typical of how Jasnah likes to present herself when she’s speaking to others.

The killing of the footpads in Kharbranth is another prime example - it’s all cold, dissected logic when she reasons through it with Shallan afterwards. (Though I imagine if we saw Jasnah’s POV of it in the moment, it would be very different than what she presents).

Because what I find most interesting about the Heralds argument is that we get Jasnah, just Jasnah, away from anyone who has to view her performance of perception, reflecting on the situation. And her internal thoughts/her private reactions are very different from those she displays in public.

“These words trouble you,” he said, stepping up to her again and resting his jet-black fingers on the paper. “Why? You have read many troubling things.”

[...]

Something stirred deep within her. Glimmers of memory from a dark room, screaming her voice ragged. A childhood illness nobody else seemed to remember, for all it had done to her.

It had taught her that people she loved could still hurt her.

“Have you ever wondered how it would feel to lose your sanity, Ivory?”

Ivory nodded. “I have wondered this. How could I not? Considering what the ancient fathers are.”

“You call me logical,” Jasnah whispered. “It’s untrue, as I let my passions rule me as much as many. In my times of peace, however, my mind has always been the one thing I could rely upon.”

Except once.

She shook her head, picking up the paper again. “I fear losing that, Ivory. It terrifies me. How would it have felt, to be these Heralds? To suffer your mind slowly becoming untrustworthy? Are they too far gone to know? Or are there lucid moments, where they strain and sort through memories … trying frantically to decide which are reliable and which are fabrications…”

She shivered.  (O, 39, Notes).

In an ironic (fuck you Brandon) twist: I think Jasnah knows EXACTLY what she’s suggesting they do to the Heralds. She’s also probably the person in that room who has the most experience with/has contemplated most what they would be condemning them to, and who therefore empathises with them the most.

It’s STRONGLY implied in this passage that Jasnah has experienced some sort of hallucinations in the past. Possibly this is connected to some kind of neurodivergence. I think this more likely than the alternative - that she was seeing into Shadesmar, because I believe that her imprisonment was what caused her to ‘break’ and enabled her to form her spren bond in the first place. But it’s possible. 

Regardless of what’s happened in the past, now, Jasnah’s mind is her sanctuary. If she only ever knows one thing it’s her own mind. She’s a rationalist. She puts her faith in things that she can know intuitively, via logic, like maths - things that exist independently of god, that cannot be doubted. Their truth is tied to their very existence. All that's required to know it is to know her own mind and reason. Losing that is quite literally the worst thing she can think of.

And honestly? Taln’s story probably really fucks with her. Because what he went through is what she went through, too, as a child.

Taln was dismissed as a madman, because no one believed what he said, even though it was true. Truth doesn’t matter; not when it comes to being perceived mad. Nor does being right. Taln was telling the truth. Taln was right. Taln was a goddamn Herald. And they still decided he was mad and locked him away in a dark room, alone, the same way they did to her.

Jasnah knows what that feels like. Jasnah empathises with Taln and the other Heralds more than probably anyone else. But she speaks of condemning these people to that fate, to the greatest hell she can think of, calmly, and rationally. But that’s absolutely not what she really feels/thinks. There is...Such a stark difference, when you really sit and think about it, in the Jasnah that she lets everyone see, and the Jasnah that exists only behind closed doors.

She could see Jasnah’s face, hand against her temple, staring at the pages spread before her. Jasnah’s eyes were haunted, her expression haggard.

This was not the Jasnah that Shallan was accustomed to seeing. The confidence had been overwhelmed by exhaustion, the poise replaced by worry. Jasnah started to write something, but stopped after just a few words. She set down the pen, closing her eyes and massaging her temples. A few dizzy-looking spren, like jets of dust rising into the air, appeared around Jasnah’s head. Exhaustionspren.

Shallan pulled back, suddenly feeling as if she’d intruded upon an intimate moment. Jasnah with her defenses down. (WoR, 6, Terrible Destruction).

The text itself characterises Jasnah’s mask as a defence. A defence against being known, a defence against being seen as anything other than perfectly logical. Having this mask so firmly and so constantly in place is a lot of work. It’s almost a compulsion for her at this point - the refusal to let anyone else in, the strict adherence to logic, regardless of her own feelings or how it makes others see her. Better to be emotionless and in control, utterly, unquestionably sane and rational, than to ever go back to being considered mad.

This, ironically, isn't rational behaviour. It's a trauma response. I'm stating this, the idea that being emotionless/always rational prevents anyone viewing her as insane again (though, again ironically, this is exactly what Kaladin accuses her of being (OUCH)). But I think these are facts in Jasnah's mind? It's her coping mechanism. It's a really bad one. But that's what it is.

As an interesting side note - I think the only time we ever see Jasnah draw emotion spren is when she’s on her own (or assumes she’s on her own, as in this passage, or too exhausted to keep them away entirely - like the single fearspren she draws later in this chapter).

This feels notable because every other character who features in the books, even minor side characters, draws emotion spren of one sort or another at some point in the text.

Jasnah, for all that she’s on screen, draws very little. This may be a function of her ability to tap into Shadesmar, to keep them away, remove any trace of emotion spren from spawning around her. That or she just has such a tight hold on her emotions that she doesn’t draw them.

Either way, I think it’s (another) sign that her behaviour isn’t entirely natural. Spren are everywhere on Roshar, you draw them when you feel a powerful emotion - that’s a natural day-to-day occurrence there.

Unless you’re Jasnah.

Maybe that’s straying a little too far into the realms of what’s reasonable, but I do still think that Jasnah’s output, especially when it contrasts, often very strongly, with her internal feelings, is a coping mechanism/a response to the trauma she endured as a child.

Madness is a fairly strong theme in Stormlight, a few of the characters discuss it/experience it. Syl asks Kaladin fairly directly what it is:

“What is madness?” she asked, sitting with one leg up against her chest, vaporous skirt flickering around her calves and vanishing into mist.

“It’s when men don’t think right,” Kaladin said, glad for the conversation to distract him.

“Men never seem to think right.”

“Madness is worse than normal,” Kaladin said with a smile. “It really just depends on the people around you. How different are you from them? The person that stands out is mad, I guess.” *(TWOK) 

Dalinar’s TWOK arc deals very strongly with madness and the ability to trust your own mind. Taln is, as has been noted, locked away for being mad. Several of the Heralds and the Fused are described as mad after what they've been put through. It's something I expect to be explored further as the series progresses.

Jasnah, I think, is the character who tries so hard never to seem that way. Never to be unhinged, or unbalanced, or affected by what's happened to her. But of course we know that she is.

I think, though, that it’s easy to write off Jasnah's trauma. The other characters all have flaws that are very obvious/things that make them obviously ‘broken’ in terms of their spren bond and the oaths they need to speak.

Kaladin suffers from depression, and from crippling guilt, and taking on too much responsibility. But also with his anger, and his hatred towards those who have wronged him, and how that can push him to blame them/avoid responsibility for what’s happened to him. Basically, his inability to let go or move forwards.

Shallan has the opposite problem, and an inability to look back/face the past. She repressed memories of trauma, and wove lies over them to protect herself, which she had to overcome to progress.

Dalinar had his alcoholism, and prior to that, his ‘addiction’ (which I think is absolutely how it’s written/the parallels are pretty obvious) to The Thrill. He had to accept responsibility, and guilt, and grief, and pain. He had to acknowledge that he had been a bad person, who was not worthy of Evi, but also that he’s capable of change, and improving himself, and becoming a better man.

Their trauma responses are loud, and obvious, and messy. They're aware of them, a reader is aware of them, the other characters are aware of them. "They stand out" if you like.

Jasnah does everything she can to ensure the effects of her trauma never stand out. To the point that other characters fairly consistently characterise Jasnah as perfect/an ideal woman.

I’m NOT saying that the text ACTUALLY presents Jasnah as being perfect/without any flaws (that’s...that’s kinda the point of this entire meta) but the characters gloss over these things/her flaws are perceived as good things?

She’s seen as so aloof, so unflappable, so commanding, and in control. She’s highly intelligent, she’s beautiful, she’s a cunning tactician and politician. Shallan claims that she’s almost always right, which Renarin backs up. Dalinar trusts and respects her, and wants her back at the war camps to aid them. She’s a highly revered scholar, respected, and brilliant. She is, in a way, almost beyond human, let alone being flawed or broken like the rest of them.

Jasnah grimaced at the thought. Shallan was always surprised to see visible emotion from her. Emotion was something relatable, something human—and Shallan’s mental image of Jasnah Kholin was of someone almost divine. (WoR, 1, Santhid).

Shallan reflects that seeing her as divine is a weird way to consider a heretic, and we’re kind of led along into that thread. But it’s also very...Othering?

It’s a “positive” kind of othering: she’s divine/superhuman, that’s great! Only it’s...It’s not? It’s so easy to see Jasnah as beyond human, and that makes us forget what she’s endured, and ignore the walls she’s put up and the profound effect that it’s had on her. And the fact that this is not healthy at all.

It's so unhealthy to be put on a pedestal this way. And it's unhealthy to cultivate a persona that makes the only response to you one that sees you as beyond human/without typical human reactions and emotions?

Shallan can be a bit whimsical and can romanticise/idealise people, but even Navani, another deeply scholarly, rational, and logical thinker, categorises Jasnah in a similar way.

She’s dismissive of the idea that Jasnah can have died. Even when others (like Adolin) start getting worried about the ship’s delay, Navani is sure that Jasnah is fine.

Part of this is, I assume, due to the fact that Jasnah is a radiant and, as the Diagram predicts, they survive when they should have been killed - so Navani has had this idea reinforced with empirical evidence over the years, which is noted in the text.

However, when Shallan first brings her the news of Jasnah’s death she refuses to believe it. Even after Shallan tells Navani she watched Jasnah stabbed through the heart, Navani still refers to her as being ‘unconscious’ (which...is actually correct, in this instance) but that is besides my point: regardless of reason or logic, people presume that Jasnah is beyond such mortal, trivial, human things like death:

‘Though Jasnah had been away for some time, her loss was unexpected. I, like many, assumed her to be immortal.’

If she’s beyond death, she’s certainly beyond something like trauma, or being broken, or damaged.

“You’re still human,” Shallan said, reaching across, putting her hand on Navani’s knee. “We can’t all be emotionless chunks of rock like Jasnah.”

Navani smiled. “She sometimes had the empathy of a corpse, didn’t she?”

“Comes from being too brilliant,” Shallan said. “You grow accustomed to everyone else being something of an idiot, trying to keep up with you.”

[...]

How surreal it was to imagine Jasnah as a child being held by a mother. (Wor, 77, Trust).

More ‘othering’, less positive than the divine, but it clearly categorises Jasnah as something other than human, and in this case, it fixates on her lack of (perceived) emotion.

Jasnah has so defined herself by her lack of emotional response to things that even those closest to her -her ward and her mother - view her as emotionless, like a rock, a corpse, dead. Ivory also says this in a previous quote “you are like spren” / “you are practically a stone.” Jasnah is categorised as strong, invulnerable to emotion, beyond human, something other. 

Though Jasnah, as she herself admits, makes decisions based on emotion.

For all that she says about pursuing the footpads in Kharbranth as purely an act of logic/civic duty, I think you can sense the emotion in that moment.

“Besides, men like those…” There was something in her voice, an edge Shallan had never heard before.

What was done to you? Shallan wondered with horror. And who did it? (TWOK, 36, The Lesson)

Shallan can sense it. This is the point where Jasnah’s mask is at its most strong. She defends, calmly and rationally, what she had done. But I think at this point Shallan, and the reader, gets the sense that when Jasnah is her MOST logical and composed, she’s also her most vulnerable and emotional.

She does the same thing in the scene with Kaldin discussing the fates of the Heralds - yet we actually see later, not just through Shallan, the emotions, and the turmoil, and the direct, traumatic flashbacks Jasnah is experiencing in that moment. All covered up with logic and reason.

I think what Brandon is doing with Jasnah is really clever. Because I think media has conditioned us to accept these cold, aloof characters.

Characters who have become hardened to the world, and numbed by their experiences with violence and trauma. So we accept these things more readily as personality traits/a symptom of modern media.

I think especially with female characters. The "strong female character" who isn't allowed to cry lest she be called hysterical, who can't react to trauma or she's weak, who can't have an outburst of emotion or she's mad.

With Jasnah, I think Brandon is continuing to show how trauma expresses itself differently in different people. And I think, once explored more directly, Jasnah will become a condemnation of the easy acceptance/idealisation of these kinds of traits. What she’s doing is not okay. It’s not healthy. It’s as self-destructive as what Shallan, or Kaladin, or Dalinar was doing, we've just been conditioned to accept and even praise it.

Jasnah has so much pressure piled upon her to be perfect. She’s made an illusion so believable even those closest to her can’t see through it. She comes across as divine, as something other than human, as emotionless, and absolute. She’s become a constant in the world of those around her. She’s a law of nature more than a person - like a spren.

Except she’s not.

She’s human.

And she’s broken.

And she’s suffering a trauma that makes her afraid to be even a little bit human - because then they might think her mad again, and she’ll lose everything, and she can’t handle that.

I’m FASCINATED to see Jasnah’s interactions (if we get any on-screen) with Taln and Ash. It will probably give a big insight into her character, her relation to madness/her past illness, and I think it will bring out an interesting side of her, which I’m curious to see.

But I'm also really interested to see how Brandon explores the idea of the "ideal traumatised woman' and how that's absolutely bullshit and completely unhealthy.

Jasnah is, on the surface, everything men demand from a "strong female character". She's been exposed to trauma but she doesn't "let it define her" (ie she doesn't seemingly react to it at all). She's beautiful, and she's intelligent, she's a (literal) Queen, she's a fighter/skilled warrior, she's never "overly-emotional" - she reacts to trauma exactly as she's "supposed" to - as defined by men, she's the epitome of a stereotypical "strong female character".

Except there are obvious flaws in that ideal. The first one being: she does not exist for men. Fairly obviously. She point blank refuses a husband.

Also: it's been implied, as per this meta, that this is NOT an ideal anyone should aim for. It's actually very unhealthy and self-destructive and I really, REALLY hope that when Brandon finally digs into Jasnah that this is something he explores.

Jasnah is not perfect. She is not unbreakable, and invincible, and beyond emotion. And she shouldn't be. She shouldn't be idealised.

She's a person. A human being. And she should be able to express herself and process her trauma in a healthy way that allows her to heal and grow. She shouldn't be forced into anyone's ideal of who or what she should be.

I'm just...Really really excited for Jasnah's arc and what Brandon can say through her and the harmful tropes regarding women's trauma he can explore and god...can I just have the next six stormlight books now please?

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters Two, Three, and Four

Chapter Two – One Problem Solved

Hello Adolin, my sun son, I have also missed you so.

Good man, taking charge and organizing your people just like you've been raised to. Find that purpose in usefulness. Find that distraction. You're going to need it.

Heralds, I'm a terrible person, but I want you to b r e a k.

That's not almost a relief, that is a relief that they found the body, because you are too honest for your own good and The Worst Liar and it's going to tear you apart inside trying to keep this a secret. It's almost a tiny weight off of your shoulders, being discovered and that small step closer to your own Damnation, isn't it?

Oh shit, Dalinar calling out Teft by name-

“Looking for him? You lost your highprince.” Why do I find this so fucking funny. It's such a little thing and yet I'm cackling.

'connoisseur of death' – Dalinar why you gotta be so Extra(tm)

(we all know why, it's a Kholin Genetic Affliction)

I was listening to The Way of Kings not long ago and it sticks out as Dalinar catalogues Sadeas' face and wound that Adolin likes to and is skilled at using his fists while on the battlefield. Also managed the overpowering and stabbing while beat to shit and with at least a broken wrist. If he'd actually managed to get Sadeas in the ring, I'd give the man under a minute, if Adolin didn't drag the 'fight' out for the vicious pleasure of it.

SEBARIAL AND PALONA, AYYYY

'He didn't trust most of the highprinces farther than the wind could blow them.” Dalinar. Dalinar you do know that you live in the stormlands, where I know that a Highstorm's stormwall has been known to lift boulders and carry large trees at least 640 kilometers. The wind can blow anyone pretty damn far.

…..actually, that explains everything, considering how easily you trust.

(Wisdom was your dump stat, wasn't it. Ten sapphires says you have a negative modifier for Insight.)

Palona says what we're all thinking. Give that woman a medal and a nice spa day.

L o r d I forgot how much I liked Sebarial and his combination of common sense (for a Highprince) and snark.

[whistles] I knew Urithiru was massive, but that description puts my visualization on a wholly different scale. Ten tiers, each of eighteen levels? Is 18 going to be another number to watch out for?

RICE PADDY ROCKBUD FIELDS

BrandoSando what powers do the squires osmose from their Radiant. I want a list broken down in detail, stat.

Bridge Four, never change.

Dalinar. Dalinar, he would have undermined you at every turn. Forget uniting Roshar, you wouldn't have been able to unite Alethkar with Sadeas sowing dissent and tearing down everything you try to build! Think what you may, but Adolin did what must be done.

Good man, Aladar. Good to know that you can change when faced with new information. Sebarial being Highprince of Commerce was practically guaranteed from the point we heard of him building a proper economy on the Shattered Plains. Adolin as Dalinar's right hand and general was a given.

But what is Renarin to do, other than attempt to figure out his powers? It's a high-priority task, to be sure, but Dalinar, couldn't you entrust a little less personal of a responsibility to him as well? Make him feel like part of the greater whole rather than set aside as he's always been…?

[sighs] I suppose we'll see how this plays out.

Chapter 3 – Momentum

Ohhhhh, and here we get one of the three chapters released way long ago that I did read.

'Rockbuds crunched like skulls beneath Dalinar's boots' What a line what an iconic line-

Almighty Dalinar you were more arrogant than Adolin easy; you can damn well see where he gets it from

This entire visual is glorious and I'm reveling in the descriptive flavour. Who needs a movie when this plays out in the imagination so well?

He can make a line of spearmen waver with just a war cry, Heralds

I said it the first time I read this chapter and it keeps running through my head – the Blackthorn is fucking terrifying

Even now, he's having trouble feeling the Thrill, or at least getting it to catch and hold. I can't imagine he was anything close to proto-Radiant at this point, but perhaps Alethi predisposed towards Radiant-ness have an innate resistance?

(We never read of Kaladin feeling the Thrill.)

OOOP, THERE IT IS.

I would like to rage.

Bloody as it may be, the thought of young!Dalinar spinning with his poleaxe like a dancer is viscerally satisfying on some deep level.

“I just go where he points me.” Dalinar confirmed for guided tactical missile.

And there's the arrow, and Dalinar is impressed. Nearly gets shot again with just how impressed he is. (Now's not the time for competency-kink to kick in, buddy.)

Dalinar. Dalinar, anyone else would call this a bad idea.

“He's got a hole through his chest. Tough break.” Dalinar please.

….Sadeas had golden Shardplate. Sadeas had golden Shardplate. I suppose this must be before he picked his colours as Highprince, and I am entirely unsurprised that he'd go that showboat-y. Was he forced to give up the gold at some point? Is that why his Plate during the current timeline was painted red as opposed to Elhokar's golden set?

“Oh Dalinar. What would we do without you?” Sadeas, I'm afraid your flirting isn't going to work on this one.

Chapter Analysis: young!Dalinar classed straight Barbarian. WIS for dump stat.

Chapter Four – Oaths

[squints at the pre-chapter quote] Theory that the book Oathbringer in-universe is Dalinar's biography is rapidly declining. Still possible, though.

THE EVERSTORM RETURNS.

!!!! He's feeling the Stormfather's emotions? The soulbond can transfer emotions between spren and Radiant and vice versa? Be still my heart.

Stormfather is bascially a cat, ignoring Dalinar just because he doesn't want to come when called, confirmed.

SNUGGLES

Not only snuggles but bared safehand aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh- I love how that's more a sign of trust and intimate familiarity than anything inherently sexual.

The Everstorm is at least slower than a highstorm, but that's not a whole lot of reassurance. “It wouldn't tear down cities, but it did rain destruction upon them – and the winds would attack in bursts, hostile, even deliberate.” Yeaaaah, definitely not. How powerful can those “deliberate” gusts be, I wonder?

Gavilar was your control back then, wasn't he? External control, rather then the internal discipline you keep now.

You want to- you want to get married before you let yourself 'get seduced'. I mean, that's entirely fitting with the Vorin religion and the Alethi in particular being so focused on oaths, but damn, man. I thought you two were already quietly together.

INFORMATION ABOUT SHSHSHSH GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO M-

….shit. You're telling Navani about the lack of memory. Hoooooly shit.

Hostage? Hostage?!

I am abruptly SO MUCH more concerned for Adolin and Renarin, Adolin was only thirteen and Renarin even younger I thought she'd fallen ill or something but a hostage situation can you imagine how that impacted the boys, how that must have scarred them to the core – during their formative years! I- fuck. This is going to get some serious attention on the RP blog after I've finished Oathbringer.

The thought of Elhokar faced with Dalinar and Navani's wedding vows is partly so hilarious that I almost want it to happen, but on the other hand I feel he'd spontaneously combust with sheer embarrassment and I probably would too.

Dalinar you lunatic.

….still stuck on hostage situati-

'silk-covered virgin' – does that mean that the Alethi traditionally get married in silk clothing? I'm imagining the men in a vest-and-takama set, the women in something light and flowing. There's no way that Dalinar isn't in his uniform right now though.

True spren versus subspren? What would constitute a subspren? Is that akin to the difference between honorspren and windspren, or is there a further level of spren that we haven't seen yet?

What do your sons think of this, Dalinar? They who remember their mother? I don't think they're opposed to you remarrying – on the contrary, they'd want you to be happy, but… what do they think?

BRIDAL CROWN. I NEED TO ART THIS ASAP.

Red is lucky, making a note of that.

“A lady must be prepared.” Oh hush, you planned for this to happen.

This. Is not going to make Elhokar feel any less like he's being ousted as king. This will undermine his confidence in his position even further, which is not good when King Social Anxiety is already pretty much at rock bottom and recuperating from an assassination attempt.

The face of the storm itself opening up overhead, the world hanging on a suspended breath… I'm getting shivers, no wonder the crowd exploded with awespren!

OH GOOD YOUR BOYS ARE THRILLED. Grinning! And joy! And, despite the Alethi not being big on contact, hugs. Adolin you touch-starved nerd

Oooof. That is pretty heretical, Dalinar, you have to admit that. Even atheists like Jasnah are probably less 'heretical' in the eyes of Vorinism than someone 'faithful' proclaiming that God Is Dead. In this time when your goal is unity, this isn't going to help you in the slightest.

[looks at map of Alethkar at the end of the chapter] [looks up]

Why. The everloving fuck. Is there no scale for distance. THIS IS A BASIC PART OF MAPMAKING. I WILL COME OVER THERE AND BEAT IT INTO YOUR HEADS-

...still stuck on hostage situation and I’m apparently not getting over it anytime soon