#embracechaos Zen? intentionalbusyness keepmovingfoward RFP masteringthroughfailure

[mubal4]

Chaos!

 Our lives can be incredibly busy and chaotic.  I was writing notes to Robin and the girls, something I do before I leave on a trip.  As we get closer to the end of the school year, our “busy” lives get a little bit busier.  End of year concerts and shows, soccer and gymnastic seasons wrapping up so there is that and the parties that go along with it, plus Alaina has soccer try outs too, travel, exams, Robin closing out her year with grades, etc. and that is on top of the normal, everyday chaos we all live in.  The basis for my note was for me to share how proud of them I am for the way they have handled it.  As I wrote the note, I reflected on the last few weeks and the ones to come and I couldn’t find a time that there was drama, complaint, or some type of blow up from any of us.  I do know there have been a lot of deep breaths, head shaking, and laughs (mostly me at myself or them at me 😊).  I do know there has been, is, and will be some stress, anxiety, and nervousness (finals, tryouts, expectations, etc.) – oh, forgot to mention that Bella is starting to drive now; so the stress, anxiety, and nervousness goes for me & mom too 😊; but all of this, I believe, is normal; especially for teenagers (and parents) and especially considering the circumstances.  

 What got me thinking though was, is it really “busyness” or “chaos?”  I think it is just life.  We are all busy and all of our lives at times are chaotic.  What is the value of the busyness though?  I know I spend a lot of time in my car getting my girls too and from places as well as myself for meetings and other commitments.  Yes, those times are busy but those are also opportune times as well.  When I have my girls in the car, it is a chance for us to talk, see what’s happening in life, what are their struggles, what are they doing well & sometimes it is a chance for me to vulnerable with them and share some things I am working through.  When I am alone, I can have calls or listen to podcasts, audios, etc.  Yes, those moments are busy but there is value we are getting out of that time.  I would love to sit here and say that we glide through stuff free and easy, breathing, ying & yang type of stuff but that isn’t reality.  There is stuff out there that makes me, us crazy, causes us stress and pressure, and gets under our skin.  I know there are times where I don’t handle things well and fly off the handle; yes, I create drama too 😊; and it happens with Robin and the girls.  As I said, I believe that is just how life goes and all of the aforementioned is part of the process; part of the journey.  I know there are monks out there that go into this deep meditation for days, weeks, & months and can come out incredibly at peace and I am sure if I meditated for a month straight, I would be a peace as well…………………….for a period of time.  Then, I know life will punch me in the face and I will have to respond. There are moments when we respond with peace, kindness, and ease; there are times when we just get pissed off and things annoy or anger the hell out of us.  Again, I think that is part of life.  I think we all, in our family I am speaking, have come a long way from letting the small stuff bother us.  Let’s be clear, there is still small stuff that bother us; living in a house with 3 females, 2 of them teenagers, there is a lot of small shit that bothers us, and I am including myself in that group.  We’ve gotten better on how we react to that and, I think just as important, when we do get all up in arms, we have a good way of reflecting on it and how we might be able to react better the next time.  It is all a process and, if we are making progress, I believe we get better at managing the busyness and chaos.  As we continue along our path, I don’t believe we ever get free of the busyness and chaos; just new types come our way.  As we grow and continue to step out of our comfort zone, new circumstances present themselves and along with those come new challenges.  Stepping into something new usually creates stress, chaos, and anxiety.  I believe those will be with us but how we work with them, manage them, and react to them, can always get better.  Will we all be in this Zen state at some point in the future? I don’t believe so and it is likely for the best, we typically do a good job in chaos.