#emmasimon

[pasturelamb]

Something something, Simon writing Emma the most unhinged love letters and poetry but bc he is who he is it’s all psychotic like comparing her beauty to blood in the snow and she’s just like wtf this man wants to kill me so bad bc it reads so evil and not at all like a normal love letter

Omg I can picture it now.

Simon telling Emma that her beauty shines like a polished blade and that her words are sharp enough to kill a thousand men. He says that she glows as bright as sun-bleached bones and that she has the soft eyes of a sacrificial lamb.

I also feel like he would slip really subtle innuendos in his letters. Like in an almost classy way because he doesn't want to be vulgar.

Like he tells her that he wants to "die a thousand little deaths" with her (little death is french slang for orgasm) but Emma doesn't know this and just focuses on the word "death".

Simon rambling in his letters to Emma about how badly he wants to taste her and Emma thinks he means cannibalism.

He does not mean cannibalism.

[dumbleb33]

finished my newest EmmaSimon fic early 😈 this one's extra spicy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52845673

BESTIE!!!! Good lawwwwwd 🥵 he wants her so bad

[reasonisms-blog]

Check it

[dumbleb33]

Simon: *banging a pen on the table in annoyance*

Emma: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Simon: Well-

Simon already pulling the strap out of a pocket dimension

[dumbleb33]

*places these in a file labeled "EVIDENCE" like i'm preparing for the courtroom*

how else am i meant to interpret all this

Oh my god Ellie what are we doiiiiiiiin!!!! She needs to put the next book out before I lose my god damn mind wtf they better kiss in the next one or I’m rioting

[dumbleb33]

thinking abt a magic college au...

Emma is a witch and does a spell to summon a familiar (its a school assignment) and instead of like a cat or something she summons Simon (a whole demon). Like she's been preparing for a pet and instead she gets a human-looking guy. She has to show up to Magic Familiars 101 the next day. All her classmates have new magical pets and Emma has a mysterious hot guy that follows her everywhere.

thoughts?

Oh my gosh yessssssss. Emma’d be like “uhhh my bad sorry man I was just trying to get a familiar, you can go” and Simon would be like “… yeah I’m gonna stick around”

This is the best idea ever

[pasturelamb]

Thinking about what Simon would send Emma for the holidays .. perhaps a first edition copy of the book they quote to each other in the first book (or a book by the guy they quote? That scene is a total blank in my mind right now I’m so sorry) and an actual nice bottle of wine to “refine her tastes” our boy would just be love bombing her with all these fancy gifts lol and Emma would be like, nope straight into the trash. Our poor little guy

Bestie how did you KNOW I've been planning a fic about this.

Definitely he would be sending her books because "Public school? In Ohio? No, my Emma deserves some REAL literature."

Side note: I love the idea of Simon referring to Emma as "my Emma" but he's only a little possessive over her. Not too possessive yk? More protective than possessive.

And the wine is a brilliant idea. Simon spending hours each week tasting different rare wines and sending her these obscure wines from fancy wineries and Emma is like hm. This looks like it cost at least thirty dollars.

I've been thinking about Simon sending Emma all this expensive stuff from designer brands but Emma just. Does not recognize the names.

"Oh he sent me a purse this time. The tag says Hermes? Like the Greek god. Is this some kind of clue about his location? What kind of game is he playing?"

"Girl he sent you a KELLY."

"Who's Kelly?"

I also think he would send a note with each gift. Like snippets of love poems or even more personalized messages for her. Bonus points if Kristen helps him pick out gifts and write the notes like "Omg I bet she would LOVE this!" "Simon, you simply have to compliment her eyes!" I love the idea of Kristin being the number one EmmaSimon shipper.

All of the gifts end up in an evidence locker tho 💔

[dumbleb33]

someone on Threads just straight up asked Ellie if Simon has a crush on Emma and her response was that Simon is "fascinated by Emma in the way a cat is fascinated by a mouse that somehow keeps getting away" and i know that isn't a yes but it made me think of Simon calling Emma "mouse" or "little mouse" as a pet name

I’m so fucking unwell over this idea bestie. Little mouse. She’d know too. The second he called her that she’d be sassing him with some shit about “oh and you’re the the cat blah blah” I’m so crazy over it I love it

[dumbleb33]

Thinking about Simon making some subtle joke about sleeping with Emma and she responds with something like "Well yk you'd have to be restrained. For my safety and comfort ofc." and obviously she's joking but Simon just. Stops working. Stares at the ceiling for an hour.

Just absolutely fucking blue screens lmfao. He’s like “… I need to go think about some things” really realizes some things about himself 😂

[pasturelamb]

AU idea that’s eating alive — Simon never gets caught and Emma never gets taken by Huxton. They end up at the same college (Kristin is there too naturally). Kristin befriends Emma and brings her around to meet Simon, or maybe Emma and Simon share a class. Simon becomes obsessed with her and thinks she’s perfect to be his next victim … except every time he thinks he’s going to make a move he can’t follow through. He can’t understand why he keeps making excuses for it not being the right time to take her because he is meticulous, he always plans everything perfectly! I am undecided on if Kristin would know about his ✨activities✨ but Simon is ranting about Emma in some way to her and how he can’t figure out what is wrong with him, why he can’t think straight around her. And Kristin is just laughing at him. And he doesn’t get what’s so funny! And she just, “Simon you like her!” And oh. Oh no. He does like her doesn’t he. He is so interested in her not because he wants to kill her but because he just wants her. Anyway that’s all thank you goodnight *drops the mic and walks off stage*

oh I love this maybe the realization could go something like this

Simon: Kristin I think I'm sick and I think I caught it from Emma. My face gets hot and my chest feels funny whenever I'm near her and I can't stop thinking about her and I'm falling behind in my classes because I'd rather stare at Emma all day. What's wrong with me.

Kristin: Simon you're in love.

Simon: No I'm not 😡

Kristin: Picture Emma in a skirt.

Simon, suddenly dizzy: I think I have scarlet fever.

[dumbleb33]

in some shall break they should have put Simon in a cell like the one in silence of the lambs so he could breath onto the glass and fog it up and draw hearts on it every time Emma visited. do you see my vision.

I SEE THE VISION I love the vision that would be amazing

[dumbleb33]

ok but on the topic of pet names I think Simon would also call Emma "little rabbit" or "bunny" but what do you think Emma would call Simon as a pet name?

Ooooh this is a great question. I feel like she would just bully him all the time honestly lol. Just like affectionately call him “shit head” and “dummy” or like make fun of him with “lover boy” when he does something really cheesy and dumb. I think she would probably keep it fairly simple and low key though with genuine pet names, maybe just “honey” or I can see him calling her “darling” all the time and maybe she would pick up on that

[dumbleb33]

ok we know Simon would be protective/possessive over Emma.

but i think we've been sleeping on the potential of Emma being the crazy possessive one.

thoughts?

Oh my god wait you’re so right. I can totally see her being like a possessive dog with a bone lol. Like Simon is her favorite chew toy and she gets so territorial over him. Imagine if she finds out another agent has been visiting him trying to talk to him, about another case or his own. A female agent at that. Ooooooh lawd yes I can see her being so nasty over it, all snappy and growly because Simon is hers

Honestly even with Travis and Kristen too. Those are her people and she doesn’t share !!

Once again, you are so right and your brain is so big

[dumbleb33]

Ok now I don't really think Emma and Simon would have kids but hear me out for minute.

Reformed Simon, now a sweet (but still slightly evil) househusband. Emma, a full-fledged FBI agent. Life is good, they've been married for four years now, and they've just had their first kid, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, named Evelyn, with Simon's blond hair and his blue eyes, but she gets her brains from her mama. Emma teases Simon about "cloning" himself. Kristin gushes over the Evelyn, eager to earn the title "cool aunt Kristin". Travis is the one to gift her a police officer costume, and everyone nearly cries happy tears when Evelyn says she wants to work with mama and uncle Travis.

One day when Evelyn is around 5 years old, when Simon realizes Evelyn has been hiding in the bushes in the backyard for a suspicious amount of time. He calls out to her, but gets up to look for her when he gets no response. Simon finds Evelyn holding what remains of the neighbor's cat, and his heart drops. Of course this is the day that Emma comes home from work early, and wanders into the backyard, looking for her husband and daughter. She finds them, and realizes what's happened. She starts crying and Evelyn drops the cat and tries to comfort her mama but for some reason mama cries harder when she looks at her.

The whole event causes a terrible strain on the family, Emma blaming Simon and Simon blaming himself, and Evelyn doesn't understand why mama doesn't look at her anymore. She doesn't quite get why papa takes her to talk to a nice lady twice a week now, and the lady tells her how she helped papa get better when he was sick, how Evelyn might have the same sickness, but she doesn't feel sick?

HELP I AM SCREAMINGGGGGGG I AM BITING THE WALLS AND WAILING AND SHRIEKING AND THROWING MYSELF OVER THE CLIFFSIDE I NEED A FIC I NEED ONE I NEED ITTTTTTTTTTTT

[dumbleb33]

Been thinking about the fact that Simon was locked up for TWO YEARS with basically no physical contact. He probably didn't even have enough privacy to jerk off. I just know that man is touch starved and PENT UP and I wanna be the one to help him out 🥴

No for realllllllllll poor guy was suffering!! And imagine how much worse it got after Emma came along

[dumbleb33]

thinking about Simon referring to Emma as his "sweet little firecracker/fireball" 💞💞💞

He so would!! He would have the cutest most creative pet names for her