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empty-church · 7 years

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I Hate the Cross of Christ

Author's Note: This is a confession. I write these words as I struggle with the sin tangled deep in my DNA. As a Christian, I know the beauty and value of the cross and I am not denouncing it. But, as you will see, the cross messes me up. Big time. I write to help bring clarity to my own struggles, but also to attempt to give words to those who can't explain their own unsettling experience with the cross.

When I survey the cross

Ah, the glorious, bloody, disgusting, offensive cross. My least favorite part about being a Christian. I have no shame in saying this. The cross and all its symbolism are offensive to me. They repulse me. I hate it.

The scene of the cross is everything my "holiness" upbringing screamed against. Excessive violence, mockery, alcohol, nudity, and murder all have cameos in the triumphant story of Jesus. It offends me. Let me explain how:

The cross of Jesus offends my senses as a human being. I don't wish death on anyone, but especially not this type of death. I would be perfectly fine with a world that has no violence, yet God himself suffered violence at the hands of his own creation. Which brings me to my next point...

The cross of Jesus offends my intellect. It is said that the cross of Jesus is what freaked out Fredriech Nietzsche because he just couldn't understand how the all-powerful God could allow himself to be tortured like this. This eroded Nietzsche's sense of logic and he then turned away from religion. I see his point. It is hard to sync the logic of this world and the foolishness of the cross. If I daily pursue more personal power and popularity, then why should I worship someone who freely gave it all up? The cross doesn't make sense. Speaking of popularity...

The cross of Jesus offends my cool. It ain't cool associating yourself with the ideals of the cross. The phrase, "Hey let me tell you about a bloody naked dude who was tortured and killed" never gets you many friends. Going to church, denying yourself, and following the path of Jesus in the way that he directs us to is not the path to popularity. I like being popular and loved. I seek it. Call it an acceptance deficiency that comes baked-in to adopted kids. I want to be like the cool kids. With my ego, I want the cool kids to be like me. The cross doesn't fit into that worldview.

And let's be real for just one second, Christian culture has tried to make the cross as cool as possible by skirting the realness of the situation. A focus on the cool benefits of Jesus death demands a focus on what's best for us. Co-opting the cross for personal gain is the goal of many Christians (this, I confess, includes me). The best metaphor for how we carry our cross is the diamond-encrusted Jesus piece that hangs from our necks. When you turn a symbol of suffering into a symbol of success you've missed the point. About missing the point...

The cross of Jesus offends my ambitions. The point of Christianity is to live as Christ lived. How did Jesus live? I borrow from Brett McCracken's take on Phillippians 2:5-11:

"Every taking-up-our-cross loss that we endure is worth it. For Christ and for us in him, weakness, suffering, and loss are not the end of the story. They lead to victory, resurrection, and eternal gain. The beautiful hymn of Philippians 2: 5– 11 captures it well. The first half is a descent: Christ leaves his heavenly home, forgoing his “equality with God,” emptying himself and reducing himself to the form of a servant by becoming human. Then further down: he is obedient to the point of death. And further down still: “even death on a cross” (v. 8). At this lowest point the passage pivots to ascent: God exalts Christ and gives him the name above all names. Then further up: every knee worships him in heaven and earth. Further up still: “every tongue confess[ es] that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (v. 11). This is the trajectory of the Christian life. Like Christ, we descend to ascend. We humble ourselves, shunning our status, accepting the depths of our depravity. And then we are exalted with Christ. After suffering, glory. After the cross, resurrection. Every loss is worth the gain of Christ. " -- McCracken, Brett. Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community (pp. 55-56). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

I am supposed to live a descending life. One that gives up control to the one who gave up control. To sacrifice comfort to the one who sacrificed ultimate poshness. I am supposed to love even when it hurts because of the one who hurt because he loved.

And my ambitions are instantly crushed.

When I first started with this website and church-planting project I secretly had some ambition to prove that I could do it—that I am smart enough, capable enough, ambitious enough to build something.

The cross of Jesus is offending me out of this type of thinking.

And you know what. I am super-uncomfortable admitting that.

My Hate is Sin

I easily recognize my hate as sin. These feelings that I have toward the cross need to be nailed to the cross in surrender. The cool, the ambition, and the pride that suggests that I know a better way to live than God himself needs to be put to a glorious spiritual death.

Jesus submitted to the destiny of the cross just so I could also submit to my destiny of the cross. To be truly alive, we must first taste the death of our shackles and chains. And in the deep heart of the night, my ultimate yearning is to be alive.

So, do I hold on to this hate because it is the comfortable known? Or do I take the Via Dolorosa that Jesus has paved for me? Both are pain. Both are extremely uncomfortable. Only one is sin.

Together Empty Church is embracing the uncomfortable. Join us as we dig into Brett McCracken's new book Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community and uncover all the parts that make us uneasy about our faith, uneasy about being friends, and uneasy about building a church that realizes that comfort is not the goal of Christiantiy.

About the Author | Josh Schaidt Twitter – Facebook – Instagram I love cookies and I still buy music one album at a time. @EmptyChurch is one way I live empty, talk faith, and opt in to follow Jesus.

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This American Church A place for exploring the Church in the American context. Issues may get political, cultural, and philosophical — but it’s always personal.

→ Read more about This American Church here.

#uncomfortable

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elliotdole · 7 years

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“He who denies me before man, I shall deny before the iron.” #bookofiron #chapter10 #verse2 #ironpradise #effort #sethsentry #sunday #worship #emptychurch #allday #errday #sweat #work #hustle #grind #eat #rootsoffight #tyson #ironmike @rootsoffight (at Irvine, California)

#sweat #allday #rootsoffight #errday #tyson #ironmike #ironpradise #bookofiron #sunday #work #chapter10 #worship #grind #eat #sethsentry #hustle #verse2 #effort #emptychurch

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heavenlyministry-blog · 7 years

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empty-church: But we have to be ready to accept whatever answer God has for us. ...

empty-church: But we have to be ready to accept whatever answer God has for us. …

empty-church: But we have to be ready to accept whatever answer God has for us. A BIG part of prayer is trusting God to do what is best, regardless of what we hope He does.

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#accept #answer #emptychurch #God #ready #religious quotes

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photoartteach · 7 years

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#churchinterior #churchunderrenovation #emptychurch #stainedglasseffect #tlwheatman #tlawrencewheatman (at Brooklyn, New York)

#emptychurch #churchinterior #tlawrencewheatman #tlwheatman #churchunderrenovation #stainedglasseffect

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davidjonathanlynch-blog · 7 years

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An empty church freaked me out Run, flee, move your feet to the disco beat, the fast retreat on a marbled street, the approaching rhythm of Jesus feet #jesus #jesuschrist #fright #running #run #emptychurch #church #future #endtimes #flee #escape #suffolk #tuddenham #fotor #filters #xpro2 (at Tuddenham)

#fright #jesuschrist #xpro2 #run #endtimes #flee #escape #emptychurch #fotor #suffolk #running #church #future #jesus #filters #tuddenham

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survivorjunk · 7 years

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[–]EmptyChurchesAubry 633 points 11 hours ago

Tai doesn't use his idol

What the fuck, Tai?

Tai ends up safe

Well, I'll be damned.

Every week.

#ep 11

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empty-church · 7 years

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Uncomfortable in the Presence of God

"The Holy Spirit is God’s presence within each believer. The Holy Spirit given to the church at Pentecost (Acts 2) is the continuation of a biblical theme of God’s presence. This includes creation (Gen. 1: 26– 28), the garden (Gen. 3: 8), the tabernacle (e.g., Ex. 40: 34– 38), the temple (e.g., 1 Kings 8: 10– 13), the prophetic hope (e.g., Ezek. 37: 27), the “God with us” incarnation of Jesus (Matt. 1: 23), the Word become flesh (John 1: 14), Jesus’s promise of eternal presence (“ Behold, I am with you always,” Matt. 28: 20), and the new-creation promise of God once again physically dwelling with his people (Rev. 21: 1– 22: 5). “Whatever else, the people of Israel understood themselves to be the people of the Presence, the people among whom the eternal God had chosen to dwell on earth,” 4 and it is within this context that Paul tells Christians that they are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells inside them (1 Cor. 3: 16) " -- McCracken, Brett. Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community (p. 98). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

What separates Jehovah God from the all other deity is that he always has and always will be a God of presence. He was there, in the beginning, the good, the bad, the ugly, and in the end.

God is there and not silent.

But there are many Christians who wish him to be, or, at the very least, wish that some of his people would just shut up.

The Charismatic cousins bring much horror to the reserved Reformed. The cousins are loud, spontaneous, and have the propensity to act in ways that are embarrassing to the rest of the family. Ironically, the same folks who yell at their congregations to never be embarrassed about the moral truth of the Scripture themselves become embarrassed when the cousins respond exuberantly to the manifest presence of the Holy Spirit. I guess the Bible really has replaced the Holy Spirit in the Trinity...

Generally talking about the manifestation of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is awkward and uncomfortable. Many stigmas are associated with the work of the Spirit. Could it be that the Comforter brings comfort in ways that are uncomfortable?

Embracing the Discomfort

I profess to be one of the crazy cousins.

I believe in miraculous healings, speaking in tongues, and the prophetic.

I believe in the supernatural presence of God, both as a constant general interaction of God and his creation and as concentrated "anointing" (though not a fan of that word) in specific places and times.

I know these elements of faith are essential.

I also know them to be awkward.

I also know them to be abused.

I also know them to have been faked.

I also know them to generally be considered as weird.

But I know them to be true because I know that when they are delivered in their most genuine and authentic form there is zero question that the author is the indwelled Holy Spirit.

The manifest presence of the Spirit brings discomfort because it forces us to discern and trust. Two Christians elements sorely lacking in the 21st Century American church. Of course, the abuses and faking surrounding the "evidence" of the Spirit causes us to be leary of what we are seeing, but we bring a general distrust of everything with us when we come to church.

We are so comfortable in our cynicism and distrust that we are easily tempted to throw anything that "doesn't make sense" out the window and deem it ungodly. But allow me to counter that 'it doesn't make sense" that an Almighty God would submit himself to the humiliating death of the cross for scum like us either.

Perhaps now would be a good time to re-evaluate our comfort in cynicism and distrust.

Will abuses still take place? Yes.

Will people still fake it? Yes.

Is there a chance that you could encounter God in a new and powerful and non-heretical way?

Absolutely.

Please remember our Rules For Discussion when commenting.

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empty-church · 7 years

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When Authentic is the Most Fake You Can Be

I have had trouble with the "Authentic" movement in Christianity for quite some time now. "Authentic" Christianity can be summed up as a group of people who find more comfort in their collective flaws than they find real hope in Jesus' call to holiness.

A reaction to the massive religious scandals that rocked millennial's young church-going experience, "authentic" Christianity became a way for Christians to avoid the hard work of forgiving the biggest betrayals they had yet encountered. "Authentic" Christians rallied around their brokenness and ultimately found their identity in their sin nature than their Saviour.

This search for an authentic Christian experience has led us away from the truth of the gospel. It leads us into a trap that we as "called out ones" are ok as long as we are connected to others who are stuck in the same ruts of sin that we are. There is no room for shame or regret in the confession of an "Authentic" Christian. Just pats on the back and empty encouragements that "I struggle with that, too," and "Don't let it get you down."

This type of Christianity is fake Christianity. Let the irony sink in. The "Authentic" Christian movement was a reaction against "fake" Christians who told us to live one way whilst living another. Now, the "authentic" Christian lives confined in their self-made fake gospel that seeks comfort in the conformity of the same sins committed by the ones they felt betrayed by.

When Holy is a Four-Letter Word

Brett McCracken, in the third chapter of his book, Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community, talks about how holy is the dirtiest word in the Christian vernacular.

We don't like to talk about being holy because we are too scared of being labeled as hypocrites when we fail. In turn, we have chosen to find our comfort zone in a corporate commodore of sin! We would rather know that we are accepted in our sin, than heed the call to, "be holy for [Jesus] is holy."

This is the fakest Christianity we can have. True Christianity is one that finds commodore in the beautiful substitutionary death of Jesus, the forgiveness of our great sins, and the working out of our salvation with fear and trembling.

If It's Broken

The hallmark of "Authentic" Christianity is its glorification of "brokenness." Sin has broken us. While this is true, I am not convinced that Jesus had this particular theological trait in mind as the glue that binds his church together.

"Broken" has replaced the word "sin" in the "Authentic" Christian's conversation. And that is only to our detriment. As Eric Thoennes points out, "Brokenness is an interesting word because if it’s sin, we should call it that, I only feel sorry for broken people. God’s mad at sinful people.”(F1)

If we do not realize that God's anger toward our sin is real then we will never, ever, be able to understand the full beauty of grace. When we refuse to define our actions as sinful then our Christian life becomes stunted and potentially even whithers away.

If we would rather find solace in people feeling bad for us then we have yet to encounter the Jesus of the cross. A Christian who has not encountered the Jesus of the Cross may just be the fakest Christian out there.

Come on now. Let's get Uncomfortable with our sin so we can find comfort in his grace!

Please remember our Rules For Discussion when commenting.

This American Church A place for exploring the Church in the American context. Issues may get political, cultural, and philosophical — but it’s always personal.

→ Read more about This American Church here.

F1 - McCracken, Brett. Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community (p. 65). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

#uncomfortable #holy #authentic

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empty-church · 7 years

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I Didn't Have Enough Love to Stay.

Love is uncomfortable. Showing the type of sacrificial love that Jesus' expects of us is a challenge because it taxes our very ability to give away something that we so desperately desire to have for ourselves. We are to love first without the expectation of love in return, but we can freely admit that we need to be loved as well.

There are seasons in life that place us in an uncomfortable tension between needing love and giving love. I will attempt to talk through a painful time in my life where I made a choice simply because I did not have enough love to give.

In Brett McCracken's book Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community, the author is talking about demonstrating Biblical levels of love. The main illustration is unsurprisingly the commitment to marriage. But Brett drops the following lines, and in what seems like an afterthought, I grasped one of the missing pieces of a big moment in my life.

Here is what he said,

"The uncomfortable principle at the core of both issues is that love requires sacrificing the sovereignty of our feelings. Love cannot survive on the basis of emotional satisfaction. It is covenantal. And this is a hard truth to stomach, because it requires faithfulness even when we’re not feeling it, even when our “heart isn’t in it.” This doesn’t just apply to marriage. It’s also true for the way we love our friends, our parents, our children, our neighbors. A single young man might feel restless in his present community and be tempted to abandon it for a new job or opportunity across the country, but for the sake of a commitment-based love for his friends, he stays. A teenage girl might feel frustrated by her parents and tempted to break the rules they’ve established, but her commitment-based love leads her to honor them instead. A mom might dream of saving money to launch a business, but her commitment-based love leads her to instead use that money to pay for her son’s college tuition. A volunteer after-school tutor might grow weary with a student’s lack of progress and be tempted to quit, but his commitment-based love leads him to keep working with the student. Cruciform love doesn’t always feel rewarding and it doesn’t always look like progress. But it does look like sacrifice and servanthood. Which is to say, it looks like Jesus (Mark 10: 42– 45; John 13: 1– 17)." -- McCracken, Brett. Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community (pp. 86-87). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

I was working in a church that I loved with people that I loved. It was a vibrant and challenging community that was actively bringing hope to hopeless people. But somehow my wife and I lost track of each other. We drifted apart...

As my marriage crumbled I swiftly approached my personal breaking point. Every nerve was perpetually raw. I vividly remember sitting on the floor of a bathroom stall in the school we were renting weeping uncontrollably. I suddenly found myself feeling just like the people we as a church had vowed to reach - hopeless.

With a nervous breakdown inevitably approaching I did the most unhealthy thing a pastor could do - I threw myself deeper into the work. Ignoring my real feelings, I funneled the anxious energy of uncertainty into "ministry," if you could even call it that. My senior pastor even beamed at how productively awesome I was doing. I had everyone fooled, I guess.

Now, I'll fast forward a bit and tell you that my wife and I made it out ok. We are happy now and we have finally learned how to love each other. Hard learned lessons are the best lessons.

In order to get to the point where my wife and I could recover, I had to make a difficult choice.

I had to leave the best job I ever had.

I didn't have enough love for both.

To be good at your job you have to love it to some level. To do the work of the ministry as Jesus did we have to have supernatural levels of love.

Love is a muscle that needs to be developed. The exercise of love enables us to love more. What I realized soon during the tumultuous season addressed above is that I did not have the capacity to love both the people of the church and my wife.

I had faked it pretty well. When I was channeling the fear of losing my wife into "good ministry" I had everyone faked out, but I knew deep down inside that what I was doing was unsustainable. If I had continued I would have lost my wife, the church, and probably my self.

I began to pray that God would let me leave my position in the church I was serving. It was a cry of surrender that I couldn't do it anymore. It was an admission that I didn't have the ability to love (or to receive love).

After 4 months of praying and counseling, I resigned. This was the second saddest day that I have lived. Not a day goes by that I do not think of the church and the people I worked with. I know that sounds cliché, but it is true. My thoughts are mixed with regret and joy, what-ifs and thankfulness. I am profoundly happy that my family has made it through, but I reflect with sadness on what might have been.

It is hard to admit that I am limited in any capacity. It is the stubbornness that serves me well to the top and bottom of life. But the uncomfortable truth is simply this: At the time, I did not have enough love to be a minister and husband.

Now some people reading this will inevitably say that I turned my back on Jesus because I chose my wife over the ministry work. I put my hand to the plow and then looked back making me unfit for the kingdom of God. Maybe so. I won't truly know until I get to the pearly gates and look Jesus in the eye. But I can confidently say that the whole experience has greatly increased my ability to love others in the right way.

What is the right way to love others? By committing to them on a personal level. By learning how to love someone who caused me great pain with her actions, I can love others more deeply.

Sometimes in the work of the church we commit more to mission than to people. We commit to a leaders vision instead of to each other. How shallow our Christian experience becomes when we commit to something instead of someone. Loving a things like visions, commands and missions are just materialism wrapped up in leadership speak. We think that these things will lead to joy, but they never do. The person of Jesus and the fellowship of the Church (that is, God's people, not an organization) is what brings joy.

I've also learned that I have to budget my commitments. I can't commit to loving too much beyond my capacity. If I do then I will inevitably neglect another commitment that I have. We must be stretched in our commitments to love others, but be wise enough not to take on so much that we succumb to overwhelming demands that our commitments of love will place on us.

Leaving the job I loved the most actually allowed me to learn to love more honestly, deeply, and sincerely. It has increased my capacity to love and serves as a reminder that loving people is always more important than loving an organization - no matter how good of an organization it is.

Please remember our Rules For Discussion when commenting.

#uncomfortable

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empty-church · 7 years

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A Big Uncomfortable Hug

Together Empty Church is embracing the uncomfortable. Join us as we dig into all the parts that make us uneasy about our faith, uneasy about being friends, and uneasy about building a church that realizes that comfort is not the goal of Christiantiy.

We will be using Brett McCracken's new book Uncomfortable: The Awkward Challenge of Christian Community as a spark point to help us in our discussions. Follow along with our personal blogs and podcasts and join in with your thoughts about the uncomfortable nature of Christianity.

Embrace the Discomfort

"A Christianity that reflects its culture, whether that culture is Smith College or NASCAR, only lasts as long as it is useful to its host. That’s because it’s, at root, idolatry, and people turn from their idols when they stop sending rain." -- Russell Moore

This the title of the opening chapter of Brett McCracken's book Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community. And I don't like it. I don't like being uncomfortable. I don't like uncomfortable clothes, situations, transportation, or expectations.

I do not like to be uncomfortable and I hate being discomforted.

The difference? Being discomforted means that someone or something has entered my space, physical, intellectual, or emotional, and disrupted my preferred state of homeostasis. They have challenged me and, you guessed it, I don't like it.

So far, I don't like Brett McCracken's book. Not because it is not well written. Not because his insights are stupid. Not because he comes across as a pretentious know-it-all. It is none of these things because none of these descriptions are accurate. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I don't like this book because it has invaded my space. His words are infiltrating my psyche and telling me the truth that I already know but so desperately try to ignore. I don't need more happiness. I need change.

Happiness or Jesus

Even C.S. Lewis recognized that the goal of Christianity and the Church is not a life of happiness. McCracken quotes Lewis to make a grand point, "I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”

We can certainly find happiness anywhere: wine, sex, and work are just a few examples. But the happiness they offer eventually fades and we look for more intense experiences that help us discover what it's like to be alive. Echoing Moore's quote above, when our use for our idols dries up we drive out and search for something new.

While I am addicted to happiness and I am not a fool. I already know that happiness is temporary. I, like so many others, want something eternal.

That leads me to Jesus - the eternal Son of God.

But I don't often like Jesus for the same reason I don't like flying on an airplane. It's uncomfortable not being in control.

Even though I profess Jesus as my Saviour, I often snapback at him as my Lord. Thankfully he is much more gracious and patient with me than I deserve. But still, his Lordship makes me uncomfortable. It brings me discomfort.

But Jesus and I working on that. I recognize his place as Lord, it is the submission that takes so long to get the hang of.

Other Things About Christianity that bring me discomfort

I don't like sacrificially loving others.

I don't like a call to holiness.

I don't like "living on mission."

I don't certain types of church music.

I don't like commitment.

I don't like the idea of submitting to authority.

But just because I don't like something does not mean that I don't recognize the value of it. And I know that these are some areas that are going to be pain points for me as we walk through this journey together.

I am making a promise to embrace this discomfort and hopefully, in time, I will learn to love it.

Please remember our Rules For Discussion when commenting.

This American Church A place for exploring the Church in the American context. Issues may get political, cultural, and philosophical — but it’s always personal.

→ Read more about This American Church here.

#uncomfortable

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empty-church · 7 years

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Embracing The Discomfort - #ec2dot19

We will be using Brett McCracken's new book Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community as a spark point to help us in our discussions. Follow along with our personal blogs and podcasts and join in with your thoughts about the uncomfortable nature of Christianity.

Welcome to Another Empty Conversation, a show that lets you eavesdrop on a conversation about faith and following Jesus. We talk about our faith so you can talk about yours.

Over the next 14 weeks, the EC crew is diving into Brett McCracken’s new book, Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community. We’ll be exploring a chapter a week and hope that you’ll join in the conversation. If you'd like to read along with us, you can pick up the book at retailers like Barnes and Nobel or Target, or online at Amazon.

This week, we are tackling chapter 1 and Embracing the Discomfort. Ready to get uncomfortable? Well, ready or not join us now as we kick off this new series.

Well that’s it for this week. Be sure to check out our blog for more thoughts throughout the series from the EC crew. Next week we’ll be exploring chapter 2 and The Uncomfortable Cross. Until then, live empty, talk faith, and opt-in to follow Jesus and I’ll catch you on the next episode of another empty conversation.

Be sure to check us out on your favorite social network: Facebook: www.facebook.com/emptychurch/ Twitter: twitter.com/EmptyChurch Instagram: www.instagram.com/empty.church/ SoundCloud: @empty-church-1 Tumblr: empty-church.tumblr.com

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Subscribe to our bi-weekly podcast where friends gather to talk about faith and following Jesus on the six days between Sundays when the church buildings are empty. Iron sharpens iron.

#uncomfortable

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empty-church · 7 years

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Everybody Wants to Be Loved - As Seen on Sunday

#VOTW

"Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, "Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons." Therefore his name was called Levi. When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, "Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me." She conceived again and bore a son, and said, "Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also." And she called his name Simeon. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, "This time I will praise the LORD." Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing."

Confession

Sermon Recap

There is a cute song that plays every now and then on popular radio stations. It says, "Everybody, everybody wants to love, everybody, everybody wants to be loved"

Cute songs often reveal epic truths about our lives.

The Bible gives an epic story of a woman who had much trouble with this concept of love. She had a husband. Many children. A father who would do almost anything for her - but she never quite felt loved enough.

"Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah's eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. Jacob loved Rachel. And he said, "I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel." Laban said, "It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me." So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her. Then Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed." So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her.(Laban gave his female servant Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her servant.) And in the morning, behold, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?" -- Genesis 29:16-25

Poor Leah - not as attractive as your younger sister, husband had to be tricked into marrying her, the day after the wedding she awoke to hear her husband complaining to her dad about her. Then it turns out that her husband wanted another woman so much that he worked 7 whole years to obtain her - while she was making a home for them.

Leah desperately wanted to be loved. More than anything I think, she wanted to be wanted. If anyone in the history of the world had the right to feel bad for themselves it was Leah. And she did feel bad for herself.

But I want to show you how a misplaced desire for love spills over into so many areas of your life

Misplaced desires lead to unhealthy actions. Unhealthy actions lead to unhealthy relationships.

"So Jacob... loved Rachel more than Leah, and served Laban for another seven years. When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, "Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me." She conceived again and bore a son, and said, "Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also." And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, "Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons."" -- Genesis 29:30-34

Leah so desperately wanted to be loved by Jacob that she named her children in such a way as to be a constant reminder that she was not loved.

Look at the meaning of the names of her children.

Reuben "the Lord looked at my affliction, now my husband will love me"

Simeon "the Lord heard I was hated so he gave me this son"

Levi "now this time my husband will be attached to me"

Leah's entire life became a desperate cry to be loved.

I think she viewed herself as unlovable

Leah lived under the assumption that she would never be good enough for Jacob and she looked at her children not as blessings from God but as a tool to gain the love and respect from her husband.

She had so little love for herself she had to beg, borrow and deal for the love of others

When you have to beg, borrow and deal for someone's love it will never lead you to a place where you can love yourself - much less anyone else

Lessons from Leah

What insights can we learn from Leah?

1. People will go to great lengths to feel loved and accepted.

The desire to find someone to love and to be loved back defines the journey of our lives.

When God created us he placed this desire for connection deep inside.

In the garden when he created Adam it was very evident that man was not created to be alone. So he created a woman

Most often we search for a specific romantic connection. That special someone who makes life complete.

But we find special connections with others as well. There is special bond between brothers and sisters. Parents and their kids.

And there is always that one friend that you can call up at any time and they are always there for you.

This built-in desire that we have to love and to be loved is there to remind us that God desires to have a connection with us.

Remember that the reason for Jesus coming to this earth and dying was so that we could repair the bond between God and us that sin had interrupted.

2. Never take lightly the effects of sin on our lives.

Sin will take every good and perfect gift that God has blessed us and turn it into something that destroys us and keeps us separated from fulling knowing the transforming power of God's grace in our lives.

Sin has robbed us of our ability to rightly love and rightly receive love.

Our love problem is two-fold here.

A. Sin has tarnished our ability to love one another.

Our greed, selfishness, pride get in the way of loving others properly.

We know we should do that last load of laundry because it would make the wife's day better - but the football game is on.

We know that the neighbor never mows the lawn and it just reflects poorly on your property and if they were just more responsible and not so lazy…

Sin keeps us from going that extra mile to help others out.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the story of Jesus is when you think that the redemption of mankind, the forgiveness of sins could have been done without much effort.

God could have been sitting up there on His couch and just pushed the "forgive sins" button on his remote and just like that we all could have been saved.

But God wanted to show us that love was active and sacrificial.

He wanted to set the example for how we should love.

B. Sin has tarnished our ability to receive love

Love and trust go hand in hand. As you build one the other grows.

When trust is broken then we have a problem letting others love us.

We question the motives of the other person.

I try to be spontaneous and send my wife flowers at work - just because

And every time that I have done that she tells me that all the people around her quip that "What did he do wrong?"

"What is he making up for?"

You see to some folks you can't show love without trying to cover up another wrong.

And when we constantly look for what others are compensating for we miss out on the love that they are offering

Don't we do this in our relationship with God? All the time? From both sides?

We can't believe that God could love a scumbag like us?

How could God love me? I've lived my life so terribly. Can't he remember that I was________________________(fill in the blank)

And on the other side we try to earn God's love by doing stuff for Him.

Ill drop another dollar in the offering plate. I'll read 75 chapters in my Bible today. I'll pray for 3 whole hours.

Only then will he love me.

We don't let God just love us. We question why he loves us or we try to earn his love for us.

Then sometimes we do something really dumb - we try to force God to love us in specific ways.

This is when we say "if God really loved me I would have this job, or that boat or have no sickness"

We so closely narrow down what God's love looks like to us that we just miss all the ways he is trying to show us.

TRUTH: The power of sin is when we allow it to affect the way we view ourselves.

Sin makes us feel inadequate and unworthy of Gods love.

How you view yourself has massive implications on how you live your life.

The choices that you make reveal how you really feel about yourself.

Many people just do not like themselves. If you don't love yourself then you can not love others.

God loves you - just the way you are.

Experiencing the love of God is the only force that actually produces a positive change in your life.

And many of us desperately want a change.

So the real question is How do I learn to love myself the way that God loves me?

Can I love myself the way that God loves me?

The true freedom of the Gospel is that we no longer have to borrow love from other people.

We no longer need to compromise ourselves to gain acceptance from others.

We find value and significance not because of what we accomplish but because of what Jesus has done for us. And we find a love that is simply better than life itself.

Challenge

They only way to overcome any sin in your life is to Recognize, Repent and React

Recognize the problem - discouragement, anger, greed, pride.

Holy Spirit helps you recognize and will convict you of sin. He will make you aware of the sin and call you to repent.

Then you must react in the opposite way of living.

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