#esp in the 'darkfic' spaces of this fandom

[necrotic-nephilim]

It's sladin week, what are your thoughts on Maps and Slade? Or Carrie or Stephanie?

hi! i have GREAT news for you in that not only am i doing SladeRobin week BUT: i'm doing a day for both Steph and Carrie!! today's fic (which'll be posted in a couple hours) is a SladeSteph fic and in a couple days, I'll post a SladeCarrie. i love both of these ships a lot, i absolutely adore how Slade could be into either of them for different reasons, and how they could contrast him. Steph is someone who's argumentative and fights back against authority and i think Slade would respect that. i love the idea of Slade wanting to take in Steph because he feels like her potential is being wasted by Bruce ignoring and dismissing her.

and for Carrie, i just love Carrie. something about Carrie's sass, but her still following Bruce like a good soldier slots so well against Slade and how she'd react to him depending on how they met. since Slade isn't in the Dark Knight Returns universe, it's a free sandbox to work him in and see how he'd react. i think their banter could be delightful, and i think they fit well into the whole grumpy x sunshine trope, except the sunshine is a little shit who just decided she was Robin and somehow, that worked out for her. i think it'd give Slade a fun "someone really needs to put this kid in her place" complex about her.

as for Maps, i have to be honest that Maps is too new of a character for me to know much about! the only comics i've read where she appeared significantly are Robin War and Batgirls (2022). so i don't know if i could say much about her and Slade as a ship, just bc she's so outside of my wheelhouse, but i do *definitely* see the vision. she has that sort of "untouched by the Horrors yet" vibe to her and to ship her with someone like Slade, who honestly *is* the Horrors atp, makes for a *very* fun contrast. i could totally see them fitting together and like, corruption kink vibes, i absolutely see your vision anon.

[hexonthepeach]

Taking a break from spending my Saturday writing and editing to say that some of the comments/commentary I've been receiving on agtbtb are broaching a personal boundary I feel I should be more clearly stated so as to not cause confusion. I don't think this has been done intentionally or with ill will so I want to address it from the lens of my personal feelings on the issue and allow those who feel differently to decide whether or not they would like to continue engaging with my work.

This is not the initiation of a conversation, this is me stating my boundaries to my readers before enforcing them as needed. My apologies if this is long, but there's a lot to unpack here.

tw: potentially triggering commentary under the cut re: SA and CPTSD

First, I don't think it's necessary to qualify my writing or my choices in how things are written with regards to my own trauma or identity. I would urge anyone who thinks this is necessary for authors to consider that many people do not have the ability to speak to it, and I say this as someone who physically and emotionally is still shaken by it (like full body tremors and feeling sick just having to write this) even if I decided a long time ago that I felt it necessary to share my experience as part of my own process of healing. Which is not something that I believe will ever be complete, by the way.

I have been writing and reading darkfic (dubcon/noncon) for as long as I have been an adult. I have also been a survivor of violent SA and DA for much longer. The two are not interchangeable in any way so much as to say that a lot of people who have experienced violence find comfort in writing/reading about it. I believe that fiction is a realm where individuals can explore things, including their own complicated experiences, without repercussions. It is a literal safe space to work through one's personal feelings in the face of a world that is incredibly skewed towards unjust exploitation. Just adding also: I do not believe there are moral ramifications to engaging with or producing work that is transgressive, it is only right to be cognizant and respectful of your audience, especially wrt proper tagging etiquette and keeping things accessible only with consent.

But I also think an audience should be respectful of creators, especially when this work is offered for free at great personal effort and care on their part. I welcome commentary and engagement, am desperate for it even considering the ratio of time spent making it to how little response some things get (all while knowing that engagement isn't easy and I could do more of it myself).

So as someone who knows intimately the conversations that happen internal and external in the wake of abuse and assault, I would ask you to not say stuff like "x deserves/deserved it" or other victim-blaming statements in relation to any of the characters I write experiencing sexual trauma or its repercussions.

In the context of agtbtb I bookended one assault with another on multiple experiences from the victimizer's POV not as a form of narrative punishment but as an attempt to demonstrate how fragile the boundaries of control/consent are in a world deliberately designed to enforce a hierarchy of domination and sexual violence. Omegaverse as a genre has this coded into it, it's why it's incredibly rewarding to deconstruct it and play with and I am hopeful that those who have been enjoying my take on it continue to do so. If not, I absolutely respect that and ask that you refrain from criticizing my interpretation unless I have made a clear misstep in tagging or am offensive, esp. re: inclusivity.

On a final note, I have also been through several fandom experiences where I have seen an unconscious bias towards judging the actions/motivations/interests of women, female or fem-coded characters outsized to those of men/male/masc. It's just gonna happen, especially when said male characters are idols who are being interpreted through ones own personal attachments vs. a self-insert proxy. I knew what I was wading into by making y/n a female aggressor in this story but I hope I have also made it incredibly clear that the circumstances of this person's life and relationships with others are formed on a foundation that is broken. I didn't write 100k reiterating the experience of enduring medical trauma and forced submission, dehumanization and imprisonment, suicidal ideation and hopelessness for a frankly normal response to their trauma to be read as "this person is being treated too kindly". I find that deeply unjust. The false ideal of the "perfect victim" has been used to subjugate women and to minimize their trauma, it is reactionary and patriarchal and if you have adopted that mentality I ask you to examine why. On the other side of that coin is how they recover or address that trauma, it is always personal and does not minimize the original harm.

I write flawed people and complex consequences, because I recognize that systems of abuse/oppression often lead to our own complicity in them or re-enacting that violence on others. The answer to breaking that cycle isn't retributive justice, ever. It's restorative. Of all the things I write related to self-insert fantasy that's the one that feels the most impossible for the world to accept so I understand if it's a hard pill to swallow for some, but I'll stand by it.

No one is exempt from this and my treatment of one character within the context of their relationships and their history is not a diminishment of anothers. As stated in another ask, this story is ongoing and I am doing my best to tell it the way I feel flows naturally from an unnatural premise.

Thanks for your patience as I tell it, and for your sensitivity to my perspective and boundaries with regard to its subject matter.

all my love

- ash

[olderthannetfic]

hi again. im the anon that spewed the long rant about how, historically, censoring the "bad stuff" leads to queer stuff in general getting banned. had the words "most fandom elders and newbies alike think it's reprehensible!" in there

i feel bad for explaining it the way i did. i'm a firm believer in "fiction is fiction (including RPF) no matter what" which is an opinion that would get me run out of what is probably 99% of fandom spaces i'm in. i recently just unfollowed a mutual bcuz they wouldn't stop posting cringy "lol old people in fandom are weird" and making fun of those concerned about ao3 getting purged. to say i was high-strung and tired would be putting it lightly. i don't want people to think that they can't be squicked by whatever makes them uncomfy as long as they aren't harassing ppl and properly filtering their own internet experience, because i've been running into folks that go out of their way to rag on people who don't like "problematic content" for some reason (they're def not the majority and don't cause anywhere near the same amount of harm as antis, but they exist and confuse the hell out of me), hence the word "reprehensible," but i realize that was a bad way to do it

i've always wanted to make more friends that like dark stuff, even if i don't focus on it myself. those kinds of authors are always the most chill ones in a fandom, but unfortunately, i worry that since i like stereotypical found family fluff n shit they'll think i'm one of the shitbag antis that wants to call the cops on them for harmless fiction. thanks for ruining that, you puriteens

besides, the ppl that claim to hate and despise taboo fictional stuff sure love to talk about said stuff way more than the actual fans of it for some reason >_> gives me projection vibes

so, sorry to anyone i offended or hurt by wording it like that, esp leaving it vague when so many idiots are actively watering down serious terms to one up ppl in their ship wars :P you guys aren't doing anything wrong, and i support your right to artistic freedom as people always should. my crappy wording is why i tend to avoid commenting on discourse altogether bcuz my emotions get the best of me, and then it's not fun for anyone (not to mention all the grammar mistakes i missed, yeesh). you guys are awesome, and i appreciate the lengths you go to keep ao3 safe

(oi, i type way too much for my own good)

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Eh. I think it can be hard to find a space that isn't darkfic focused that has a strong dl;dr, sals, and ykinmkato stance. But people? I promise there are plenty of people who like badwrong content who also like found family and won't instantly assume you're awful.

It might be easier to find people in some very oldschool fandoms, but finding your people is always hard.